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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Protect Me

In his book Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady, Steve Harvey offered some great insight about men and protection:

Encoded in the DNA of the male species is that we are to be the provider and the protector of the family, and everything we do is geared toward ensuring we can make this happen.

This is really interesting to me because I don’t know if men realize how much it impresses a woman when a man seeks to protect her. I am not talking about simple chivalry, here. What I am referring to is that innate sense of protectiveness that men in love have about their women.
How do men show they are willing to protect their women? I think it can be found in subtle ways such as showing concern if she made it home safely. Checking her car for potential issues that may pose a threat. Then the not so subtle ways such as defending her honor, addressing anyone who dares to disrespect her in his presence.
I was sent an interesting quote from our friend “Sexyleggs”:
“A woman should not be dependent on the protection of a man, but should rest on her own”
I suppose this can be interpreted in many ways, but what are your thoughts about the quote?
Guys, what do you really think about protection? Is it difficult to provide this when you are in a relationship? At what point do you feel the urge to become protective of someone you are dating? Do women ever perceive it as overbearing?
If a guy does not show protective gestures toward the woman he is dating, does that mean he doesn’t care for her at all?
Ladies, do you feel comfortable with having a man protect you, in dating? Do you feel taken care of and cared for? Is there a line that crosses into overbearing for you?

239 comments Add your comment

FEE

May 19th, 2009
10:51 am

LEGGS>>> I DID TO>. Lesson learned… date stamped.. move on…

FEE

May 19th, 2009
10:51 am

By The way leggs… I have dinner with my son and the big… it was awesome…. awesome… awesome… awesome… did I say awesome…

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
10:52 am

For any of you that planned on meeting W8 at Bigelow’s this evening, feel free to make other plans. He’s working on a big case and will not be able to meet up.

Professor

May 19th, 2009
10:55 am

@ Foots he was tripping, but it is good to know that he has matured.

I just want to throw this out there even when I am hanging with the girls we always make sure that everyone is safe (we call each other when we make it home and etc.). So if my girls are concerned about my safety my man should be as well. Hey thats just my logic

FEE

May 19th, 2009
10:56 am

Truth… I dont think a woman dont mind being directed… by someone who knows where he is going…. too many times, dudes try to lead without having any direction themselves….

If you have no vision, I cant run with you….

Sassy Me....Mmm, mmm, good :-)

May 19th, 2009
10:59 am

.… I dont think a woman dont mind being directed… by someone who knows where he is going…. too many times, dudes try to lead without having any direction themselves… If you have no vision, I cant run with you….

FEE I co-sign withcu on that….

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
11:00 am

@Fee, glad you’re stoked! :lol:

FEE

May 19th, 2009
11:02 am

Leggs, yes mam… he was a sight of splendor… oh my… I actually made some fresh raspberry lemonade, squeezed them myself.. hehehehehe.

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
11:05 am

You made my mouth open wide….fresh raspberry lemonade…I’m want some! I love anything raspberry.

kimmie

May 19th, 2009
11:07 am

Fee- Cosign that 10:56 & the raspberry lemonade!

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 19th, 2009
11:08 am

Fee, I agree alot of cats couldn’t plan their own bday party. In alot of cases its not their fault. Society is breeding out that part of a man that would cause him to do things normally associated with manhood, just as its breeding out the soft chick with a heart to give. Now its a criminal act to do what guys normally do. And believe me most cats cant play joe cool then flip the script and get straight vicious. Its something that has to be practiced and embedded. If you think your guy is gonna jump out of bed and stop some cat because he’s your guy you’re wrong. He’s gonna call 911 and hide in the closet, prolly with you outside guarding the door. Same thing with planning his life. His mom did it all for him so he’s waiting on the right chick to step in and do the same. Thing is he wants to be the man all along. Doesn’t happen that way.

Being a man is easy, if you have the right tools.

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
11:08 am

Guess I could have said that somewhat softer…W8 reqrets that he will not be able to meet up at Bigelow’s this evening. His workload has increased preventing him from attending. Hope everyone has a good time! :lol:

Sybil

May 19th, 2009
11:08 am

Give me a man who’s at least 3 or 4 inches taller than me with just a bit of size to him. Put some smooth light skin (light skin optional) on him, some swagger in him, give him a beautiful smile and strong hands, surround me with a protective, secure feeling and HE can get anything I got!

I will have my momma over at his house cleaning and cooking three times a week. LOL

jus’ playin’….

FEE

May 19th, 2009
11:16 am

Truth.. I dont believe “society” is breeding that part of a man… I think parents are abandoning their jobs and letting society raise their children…

I personal dont want a Momma’s boy, I dont Mind a man that loves his mother though….

But otherwise I understand what you are saying.. and shoot he can try to run to the closet if he want to, I will trip him in the hallway and get their first… hehehehehe

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
11:17 am

@Truth, I wholeheartedly agree with your post, but take exception with him in the closet and me guarding the door!

FEE

May 19th, 2009
11:20 am

@KIMMIE… that lemonade was hard work… but it was the bomb the next morning… glory… LOL….

FEE

May 19th, 2009
11:21 am

LEGGS>.. we are on the same page.. thats funny.

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
11:24 am

Yes, I was going to post about being on the same page, but knew you would to so I stayed in the cut…you didn’t disappoint me…that’s too funny!

AmazonRed™

May 19th, 2009
11:24 am

If you think your guy is gonna jump out of bed and stop some cat because he’s your guy you’re wrong. He’s gonna call 911 and hide in the closet, prolly with you outside guarding the door.

This weekend I had a flat, so I called AAA and they came out and put on the spare. I asked the AAA guy if men ever called him to come change their tires. He told me “all the time” and quite often they call and he rolls up and they have their girlfriends sitting their right there next to em. :lol:

I told new boo after the fact and he asked why I didn’t call him. I didn’t want to bother him at the time, but I did ask if he knew how to change a tire and he looked at me all crazy and was like “of course!”

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
11:26 am

Piggybacking on what Truth said, my ex would often tell me that I took away his manhood. My reply was always the same, “no, I didn’t, you handed it to me on a silver platter.” Truth is right, if you have the right tools it’s a breeze to be a MAN!

DJ Sniper

May 19th, 2009
11:27 am

Truth, I do agree with society frowning more and more on traits usually associated with masculinity. I’ve read a couple of articles about this, but I may need to go look up some others that may be more recent. You also bring up a good point about how too many boys are spoiled and coddled by their mothers, and when they get grown, they don’t know how to do jack.

DJ Sniper

May 19th, 2009
11:29 am

ARed, that is a damn shame. Every man should know basic car maintenance. When I was a teenager, my dad made sure I knew how to work on a car before I could drive one. I wish I would call AAA to change my damn tire. lol

AmazonRed™

May 19th, 2009
11:30 am

My reply was always the same, “no, I didn’t, you handed it to me on a silver platter.

Leggs – :lol: :lol: :lol: I admire you for sticking it out as long as you did. Was he this lazy before you married?

FEE

May 19th, 2009
11:32 am

Leggs… your funny.. funny… funny… Im glad I didnt disappoint you… LOL.. you blog know me.. huh… LOL

Cemeeli

May 19th, 2009
11:32 am

Hey…

I add to the topic my personal opinion with this dicussion. (really the comments left by the ladies)…As i read a few of my sisters, it is a pain to know any of you ladies have been with a man that wasn’t protective of you. Most of you are well aware of how to take care of a man (and i say that loosley), but then i read that some have encountered the punks that want the girlfriend experience, but then can hold up to their first, and foremost headship!

A man that will not protect his woman and family is just trifling.

Kym wonders who told Mike Strahan he could act?

May 19th, 2009
11:37 am

Well now I know protective men who can’t change a tire..or rather won’t change a tire. So I can’t say that factor is a done deal for me. But checking doors and stuff..heck my son does that.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 19th, 2009
11:37 am

Reminds me of a cat that came to work at the pen for one day. Big dude, muscular. I’m watching this cat and he just didnt have the right nerves for that kind of work. He wasnt emotionally able to take what was going on. Good thing is he never came back. Day one was his last day. I bet he’s telling everyone how he worked at the pen and all he did. LOL

BTW, the same gear that would make a cat go to adudes azz is the gear that will make him keep a chick in line. All these metrosexual cats talking about “lets discuss this” are ruining the work our forefathers put in.

Tip: Sometimes these moments we’re speaking of show us how much our mates really care for us. It’s to ez to say I care about you but in that moment when a quick decision is necessary then you see where their true allegiance is. If your dude runs in the closet just think of that as an indirect goodbye. LOL

Sybil, lmao at that visual.

FEE

May 19th, 2009
11:38 am

HEY… Is the key word Protective.. or should it just be plan ole “knowing your and taking care of your “RESPONSIBILITY”

Cemeeli

May 19th, 2009
11:38 am

SexyCool

May 19th, 2009
11:39 am

Of course, being the Libra that I am, I often look at the other side of the topic. The opposite of a man who is not protective of you is a man who is destructive to you.

He does not honor you. He does not respect you. He does not support you. He cheats on you. He talks down to you. He hits you. He does not protect you.

Protection is not just a physical thing. It can also be emotional, mental, and financial.

Three Words Daily – God’s my source.

AmazonRed™

May 19th, 2009
11:42 am

Yeah Kym, can’t and won’t are two diffent things. If I were strong enough to jack the car up, I could change a tire. :lol: I think a guy should know such things. It certainly helps in a pinch rather than having to call for help.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 19th, 2009
11:43 am

Leggs, Ive heard a few cats say the chick wouldnt let them be the man, including my best friend. I always wondered how they can stop you from being what you are. I dont need your permission to be me, I’ve been working on this program for 2 many years.

Cemeeli

May 19th, 2009
11:47 am

Lord bless those that believe a man shouldn’t be the protector in the first place. Cain’t believe i read that one. Oh, yes i can….

SexyCool

May 19th, 2009
11:47 am

BTW – I can and have changed my own tire.

In fact, Wise – remember that day you had TWO flat tires and you were trying to get down to the Falcons game? (At least, I think it was a football game you were going to>)

LOL – now THAT was an adventure.

FEE

May 19th, 2009
11:49 am

Hey CEMEELI>..

Truth,, men who use that line just looking for excuse to cover the sorry booties… thats all…

Cemeeli

May 19th, 2009
11:50 am

SCool I wouldn’t say it’s the Libra coin spin. I should just be innate that a man in your space would do what he’s suppose to do as a born protector.

My son has been locking doors and making sure the phone works since he was like 6or7 years old. Now that’s some sense of what’s in him. I didn’t teach him that…dunno where he got that from anyway.

mytw♥cents

May 19th, 2009
11:50 am

NOT THEIRS How could you have gotten to this point? Can you admit you should be more upset with yourself, than him?

Another form of protection is definitely teaching us how to fend for ourselves. Someone I know who just got married…they live out in the country and he hunts & stuff. Well before they got married, he told my friend’s cousin he was gonna teach her how to hunt and skin the animal b/c if ever his health failed, and he couldn’t provide, she’d be able to survive. I was like WOW. (In theory, cuz it’s a lil too primitive in practice for .02) But still, WOW at the foresight.

Melo

May 19th, 2009
11:51 am

Truth, I do agree with society frowning more and more on traits usually associated with masculinity

Really?, i have never experienced that nor seen that about society.Society frowning on masculinity??? Thats a new one.
Every man should know basic car maintenance
Depends on what u consider basic.Im not a car guy, i dont do maintenance as in engine stuff,other than looking at the battery connections to see if they are tight.I can change tyres and do other mechanical stuff as long as it has nothing to do materially with vroooom,vrooom stuff,u know engine stuff.Please tell me im still a MAN,waaaait,where is my meloid?? :grin:

Now as for mama’s boys….i think thats a big syndrome/disease in af/american communities.
Now Ared i will call hero guys if im on the hyway and i have a flat coz they can do that stuff waaaaaay quicker than myself! Done it be4 when i was with Queen one time, even tho i carry my own jack.But if im at home,then yeah, i do it by myself.
Most stuff at home, i pay pple to do it.My hands cant do a drill as efficiently as i do a keyboard.Man still??? Pleazse send me ur ratings. :lol:
And u females who want to be with a protector,nothing wromng with that,in fact every man shld do that/Are uall nurtureres tho.Can u make him some soup,dinner,a hot bath when he gets outa the yard etc.Do u go the extra mile??
If u are a nagger all the time,or u are DIY type,then he will let u do it.Dont blame him.

LIONESS- Sitting @ the Car Wash

May 19th, 2009
11:52 am

The changing the tire issue.. If we were on our way somewhere, got a flat, and we pay for AAA every month, then we are going to call them.. Nothing wrong with that..

Cemeeli

May 19th, 2009
11:55 am

he was gonna teach her how to hunt and skin the animal b/c if ever his health failed, and he couldn’t provide, she’d be able to survive.

mytwocents that is something we all should adhere too. Your friend reminds me of this proverb.

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

SexyCool

May 19th, 2009
11:59 am

I will pass on the animal skinning skills. However, I can preserve the helloutta some garden vegetables. Blanche, rinse, cool, bag and freeze.

One time for the country girls!!

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 19th, 2009
12:01 pm

Melo, used to be we fought. Now its assault with deadly intent and punishable by years in jail. Same with you disciplining your kids, you could go to jail for doing what you’re supposed to do. The list goes on as we become more civilized and less able to do what we are here for.

They’re locking up cats with that gear in them which means the candy azzes get to breed. Sounds like selective breeding to me.

DJ Sniper

May 19th, 2009
12:05 pm

Melo, here’s what I consider basic car maintenance: changing a tire, changing the oil, at least having general knowledge of where certain engine parts are located. I’m not saying you have to know how to completely tear down and rebuild an engine, because I don’t, but still, you get my point. I also know how to change out my brake pads and rotors, as well as give my car a tune up. Speaking of that, my brakes are damn near done.

Kym wonders who told Mike Strahan he could act?

May 19th, 2009
12:06 pm

@Truth Do you ever check out the onion? I thought I sent you this video link from their site on the prison economy.. Funny!!!

Cemeeli

May 19th, 2009
12:07 pm

Lunchtime is always a good time.

Melo

May 19th, 2009
12:08 pm

Melo, used to be we fought

Truth,u can still fight.Was listening to Charles Barkely on Larry King i believe, and they were talking about the incident when he threw a guy thru the window.He regrets it but says random pple provoke him from time to time, i guess, coz hes a loud mouth himself.BUT he says if smebody hits him first,hes gotta a good excuse to whip their fccking azz.The law will protect u.
Same here.
If some dude attempts to break in my house and we in der sleeping,he gets hiz brains knocked out.
U just got to channel the aggression properly,thats all.

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
12:09 pm

@ARed, no he wasn’t always lazy. After we got married and I got a better paying job he soon realized that if he didn’t want to do something that NEEDED to be done that I would handle it. That’s where the problems rests, with ME! We had a family and he if he got his manties in a twist he just sat back and let me handled things. I was going to provide for my family come hook or crook, and I almost turned into crooking (i know this is not a word, but you know what I mean). I turned into the man in the house and I wore the pants because I had to in order to survive. As I got stronger, I truly realized my survival included no longer being married to him. He was a piss poor provider and and spiteful SOB.

Truth is right, his mother coddled him and he never grew into being the man he was suppose to be. Now, here I come along only to further delay is development. Better believe he developed in the past 4 years since our divorce!

DJ Sniper

May 19th, 2009
12:09 pm

Truth, that’s a good point. Back in the day, if you fought, then someone won, someone lost, and that was it. When your kids acted up, you got in their asses and let them know what the deal was. These days, ish is just all out of wack.

Melo

May 19th, 2009
12:14 pm

I also know how to change out my brake pads and rotors, as well as give my car a tune up

All that,i cant do.I know how to operate the ATM tho,to get the cash to pay the repairman.
Now my brother is an aircraft engineer and a pilot and all that he can do as well as tear up and down, a car engine.But boy is so lame with hiz wife and so much under petticoat(slip) government(thats what we call it) u wonder why when he seems so manly??
His wife says jump,he will jump,crawl and do a cow mooooo,moooo imitation all in 30 seconds.Man my azz!!!

THE INFAMOUS DK

May 19th, 2009
12:16 pm

Ha thats funny.. I dont see checking your house to make sure no ones there, changing your tire or jumping up with the Attitude Adjuster in the middle of the night as protection. I just see it as Man Stuff. The price you pay for wearing your pants.