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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Protect Me

In his book Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady, Steve Harvey offered some great insight about men and protection:

Encoded in the DNA of the male species is that we are to be the provider and the protector of the family, and everything we do is geared toward ensuring we can make this happen.

This is really interesting to me because I don’t know if men realize how much it impresses a woman when a man seeks to protect her. I am not talking about simple chivalry, here. What I am referring to is that innate sense of protectiveness that men in love have about their women.
How do men show they are willing to protect their women? I think it can be found in subtle ways such as showing concern if she made it home safely. Checking her car for potential issues that may pose a threat. Then the not so subtle ways such as defending her honor, addressing anyone who dares to disrespect her in his presence.
I was sent an interesting quote from our friend “Sexyleggs”:
“A woman should not be dependent on the protection of a man, but should rest on her own”
I suppose this can be interpreted in many ways, but what are your thoughts about the quote?
Guys, what do you really think about protection? Is it difficult to provide this when you are in a relationship? At what point do you feel the urge to become protective of someone you are dating? Do women ever perceive it as overbearing?
If a guy does not show protective gestures toward the woman he is dating, does that mean he doesn’t care for her at all?
Ladies, do you feel comfortable with having a man protect you, in dating? Do you feel taken care of and cared for? Is there a line that crosses into overbearing for you?

239 comments Add your comment

Wise Diva

May 19th, 2009
8:45 am

GOOD MORNING! Sorry about the late start guys, it’s been THAT kind of morning. Have a TERRIFIC TUESDAY :)

Kym wonders who told Mike Strahan he could act?

May 19th, 2009
8:51 am

Good Morning All,

Somehow it is hard to consider Steve Harvey as an advice giver but that’s a whole other Oprah.

Ladies, do you feel comfortable with having a man protect you, in dating? Yes..as I quoted Heather Headley two weeks ago. Please be “the sole defender of anything I fear.”
Do you feel taken care of and cared for? If I feel protected by you..I will trust..if I trust you..we can go places and do things..if I don’t trust you, we are not going to make it out of the driveway.

Is there a line that crosses into overbearing for you? Yes, when your protection becomes calling ever hour on the hour, and texting, and sending IM’s. – Less is more..Less is more.

Professor

May 19th, 2009
8:52 am

Good Morning:

Great topic WD and great quote by Leggs, IMO I feel that it is important for me to have a man that can serve as a protector. I did not realize this about myself until I realized that I did not have this in a mate. Although I have my modern ways, I am still a cauldron traditional and innate behavior. Yes, I can check my oil and change a tire, or “bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.” I still like a man that serves as a protector. In other words when I am dating a man that is a true protector there is a certain trust that I have for him and the relationship that deepens the bond.

LIONESS- Preparing for my Trip

May 19th, 2009
8:59 am

Good Morning All :)

I think it can be found in subtle ways such as showing concern if she made it home safely. Checking her car for potential issues that may pose a threat. Then the not so subtle ways such as defending her honor, addressing anyone who dares to disrespect her in his presence.

^^^^I Agree! What you mentined are just some of the makings of a good man.. None of what you mentioned should be perceived as overbearing.. There is nothing wrong with a person showing that they care about your wellbeing! Now, if I am out with a dude and he wants to fight a dude because the dude is looking @ me.. Then we might have a problem..

AmazonRed™

May 19th, 2009
9:06 am

Good morning lovelies. I know it shouldn’t but the incorrect book title is kind of irking me this morning. :lol:

On to the topic, I’m all for a man protecting me. At the very least walking me to my car, making sure I’m home safe and looking out for me when we are together. That’s the basics

It feels good when you are in the car together and the car suddenly has to stop short and he instinctively stretches his arm out to prevent you from jerking forward. Not like his arm will do anything to keep you from flying through a windshield, but the gesture means a lot (at least to me).

Raqi...31 Days to ML

May 19th, 2009
9:07 am

Security. I need to feel a sense of security with the man I am with. Security takes on many forms and being physically protected in one of those forms.

I will never just go out running off at the mouth, starting confrontation and expect my man to fight my battle. However I do need to feel that he has a genuine concern for my safety and well being. For me it is a simple as him allowing and/or insisting on me walking on the safe side of the sidewalk.

As far as the quote is concerned, I disagree with it. Men are intimidating creatures by nature. They were built to protect so when I am in the presence of one, one that cares for me, I automatically feel a sense of being protected. I feel less exposed while walking across a dark parking lot on the way to my car when the one I love is there beside me. Yeah, an attacker could harm him just like he could me, but I feel safe with him. If I can’t feel safe then I can’t be with him.

mytw♥cents

May 19th, 2009
9:11 am

Well just wrap me up in a cocoon, because I must feel protected and I must feel like it’s an innate response on his part. In general, this is how I believe men should be with women, it’s definitely an unspoken expectation on my part. And as a guy’s girl, this may be why I can hang out with those neantherdals since they instinctually look out for me and any women in their lives. And I’m just used to neantherdal commentary too, so that helps.

But when a relationship dimension is added I’m gonna need him to slay the dragon almost before I have an inkling it’s been circling around. And really I don’t need to hear the details <– please don’t list all you’re doing in this respect cuz that’s what you’re supposed to be doing in my estimation. In return, I’ll protect his heart, which I think is lost element these days. (Which is why I think so many women disrespect their men, emasculate them in public or private…but Kym would say that’s a whole notha’ Ofrah) It seems like a fair trade to me.

But please don’t smother me. I need to breathe.

AmazonRed™

May 19th, 2009
9:11 am

Oh yeah, as for the quote, I disagree with SexyLeggs. One thing that Steve Harvey also mentioned is that ladies stopped remembering that they are ladies. We’re always trying to do it on our own. I do think we’re going against our nature a bit by trying to do it all.

AmazonRed™

May 19th, 2009
9:12 am

That should have read I disagree with the quote provided by SexyLeggs.

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
9:16 am

Good morning everyone!

@WD, its very appropriate that you put that quote out today because I’m somewhat struggling with the realization that I’m walking this walk alone. I’m not depressed just struggling as many of us single women are! I was thinking last night that I would love to have the protected arms of a man. Meaning, I need to know that someone has my back and my interests at heart. One who cares for me and want to protect me from the evils of the world, and I in turn can reciprocate.

I was surprised to open the blog and see the quote! Need breakfast.

Foots

May 19th, 2009
9:20 am

Good morning! I was talking with a female friend of mine yesterday about the elusive male species and parts of this topic came up.

I am the type of woman who has always appreciated the protectiveness of a man, in terms of him helping me down stairs, checking to make sure I made it home, making sure the doors are locked when we are in for the evening, checking to make sure that I have gas in the car and air in the tires, etc. I’m just feminine that way. I’ve dated men who have done some of these things and men who have done none. I know that my fairy tale mind wants to tie whether or not he performs these gestures to how much he cares about me, but my rational mind knows that all men are different and thus show caring in different ways. For me, that cuts down on the “if you really love me, you SHOULD do this” conversations. And I’ve had too many of those to count over my dating life. Now I’m resolved to continue to be who I am and let dude be who he is. If he’s not equipped with the “appropriate protectiveness programming” for the small things, it’s not a deal breaker.

Now, do I think that if my door got kicked in at 3 in the morning and he was there, dude would come out blazing? Yes, and that’s what really matters. :grin:

Sassy Me....Mmm, mmm, good :-)

May 19th, 2009
9:21 am

Ladies, do you feel comfortable with having a man protect you, in dating? Do you feel taken care of and cared for? Is there a line that crosses into overbearing for you?

Yes I feel comfortable with a man protecting me in dating(in platonic friendships,too) and for/to me littlel things mean alot. I feel taken care of and cared for when he does things like opening doors,giving me his arm when we’re walking and even making sure that I’m on the inside of the sidewald while he’s closer to the street. All women like to feel cared for and be treated like ladies.

Now there comes a time when it can be overbearing like him needing a minute by minute account of my activities,calling me too often with the very first question being “Where you at?” followed by “Wathcu doin”(I’m thinking the same thing I was doing 30 mins ago, but I digress).

Professor

May 19th, 2009
9:29 am

“A woman should not be dependent on the protection of a man, but should rest on her own”

Although I am not dependent on the protection of a man, I feel that protection from a man ranks as one of the highest form of respect. To me it is about embracing showing that you care and you are concern with my well-being. In order for a relationship to grow I have to have protection—its essential to me. I would not feel comfortable meeting a SO at Atlantic Station for dinner knowing that I am on my own, because he does not care enough to see me to my car safely. Yes, I can “rest on my own” safety with my S&W and other means, but to me the comfort lies in having someone serving as my protector.

Kym wonders who told Mike Strahan he could act?

May 19th, 2009
9:30 am

And I don’t totally disagree with Leggs quote. I think you have to know when you are out there dating what exactly you are looking for. Protection and Security should not be the sole reason you are playing the dating game. If it is then you will follow whatever hard-leg rubs up against you. That leads to the “I got a man syndrome” Mind you he is a sorry, shiftless, ball-less, piece of a man, but you got one.

LIONESS- Preparing for my Trip

May 19th, 2009
9:32 am

My two- In return, I’ll protect his heart, which I think is lost element these days <- Real Talk! I am all for that!

Foots- I agree!

I don’t mind if a secure man texts/calls/emails me to say hello or ask what I am doing etc several times a day cause that means I am on his mind.. He MUST be secure with himself, if he is not, he won’t get far wih me :)

Leggs- What made you say your quote?

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 19th, 2009
9:34 am

Morning Folks!

“Well just wrap me up in a cocoon, because I must feel protected and I must feel like it’s an innate response on his part.”

I just had to quote that mytw♥cents because I am the same way.

Ladies, do you feel comfortable with having a man protect you, in dating? Do you feel taken care of and cared for? Is there a line that crosses into overbearing for you?

Yes, I feel very comfortable having a man protect me in dating, in friendship – anytime. It does take some getting used to because after all these years, my first instinct is to walk in the house first, etc. That’s the latest one with my guy – when we go to my house together, he wants to walk in first and case the place. That one is a first for me. I’m accustomed to getting out the car and gathering all my stuff myself – so I have to allow him to help me, essentially remember that he’s there.

I’ve never had a man be overbearing with his protection – just times when I felt his protection was inconvenient. Like when we get to the house together, I usually park in the garage and him in the driveway – well, I’m closer to the door and just want to go inside…

Elijah

May 19th, 2009
9:38 am

A sunny good morning to all the ladies!

I believe a man should be a woman’s protector at all times! It is very critical for men to provide the security/protection for women and his family.

Part of our security role is to teach the ladies how to protect themselves when we are not around!

Lioness you must be super fine if a guy is going to fight someone for just looking at ya! :lol:

Professor

May 19th, 2009
9:47 am

@ Elijah interesting point. Part of our security role is to teach the ladies how to protect themselves when we are not around!

I have had men esp. my father and brother tell me about protection when they are not around.

@ Lioness, I agree about being on his mind…that is always a nice gesture when it is someone that you like, but if you don’t like him that is a different story.

The Truth

May 19th, 2009
9:47 am

Relationship advice from Steve Harvey – a guy who admittedly cheated on his wife and ended up in a messy, public divorce. So much for protecting the family…

Some women emphasize their independence to the point where it is difficult for a man to know when he is over stepping on the protection thing. Also, some women think a man’s concern for their safety is an attempt a controlling their behavior and dismiss the man’s efforts. I once knew a young lady when, upon learning she was going out to a house party thrown by friends of a friend, I advised her not to accept any drinks from any guys (especially if she didn’t know them) and to make her own drinks. She said I was too controlling, went to the party, had glass of “punch” given to her by the friend of her girlfriend’s boyfriend, blacked out, and was sexually assualted.

Ladies, sometimes men give you warnings about other men because WE ARE MEN AND KNOW THE EVIL THAT MEN CAN DO!! So the next time, your man advises you to be cautious or wary of certain situations, take heed.

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
9:48 am

Thanks ARed, because it’s not my quote. It’s a quote from Susan B. Anthony!

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
9:54 am

@Lioness, you see my 9:48.

I submitted the quote because I found it interesting. Do I agree with it, NO! As Professor stated, it’s the highest form of respect that a man steps up and desires to protect his woman. We as women need and want to know that our men will come to our defense. As Sir Truth always states, we need to know that the “alpha dog” will bark when the need surfaces.

@ARed, I meant thanks for the clarification!!

Elijah

May 19th, 2009
9:57 am

@Kym tell us how ya really feel!

I have dated some ladies who did not know what it’s like to be protected! Making sure they are safe when the get home! Checking out the house to make sure it is safe, checking all security measures to make sure they work! In the wintertime in Cleveland always keeping your tank on full and make sure the car is in good working condition.

Some women tend to either take protection advice for granted! Why is that ladies?

LIONESS- Preparing for my Trip

May 19th, 2009
9:58 am

Truth- I agree!

Leggs- That is why I didn’t bother commenting on the qute cause I figured it had to be more to it.. Didn’t think you would say anything like that :)

Prof- Understood.. If I am not feeling a dude, homey won’t be ringing my phone muchless texting me asking how am I.. I don’t casually date.. Too boring :)

FEE

May 19th, 2009
10:00 am

Im late.. dont have time to read all the comments, I have my firing jacket on, just in case bullets come-a-flying…

One issue I have with SH quote, Its in a mans DNA to be a provider and protector… Well if that is the case WHY oh WHY are there so many fatherless children!!!!!!!!

LIONESS- Preparing for my Trip

May 19th, 2009
10:01 am

Elli- Who knows why women think that they are man enough.. I think it is ridiculous.. Just be a lady and let that man check for you.. Not rocket science..

As far as your comment to me.. Maybe I am just a nice person..

Not their Mother

May 19th, 2009
10:01 am

Yes, I want the man to be the protector. That makes him the MAN in my estimation. Here is why I’m leaving my current relationship:
He goes to bed and leaves all the doors unlocked leaving me to do a late night check. He lets my little dogs out to go to the potty then forgets they are out there in a neighborhood with wild packs of dogs. He NEVER has enough gas in his vehicle to take me or himself anywhere in an emergency. He makes me call 911 if there is dangerous activity in the area. He wants a “feminine” woman yet when I’m wearing a dress and heels I can be carrying heavy packages and he doesn’t even offer to help me carry them. He doesn’t know how to operate power tools so I end up doing house repairs. He wants a great yard but I’m the one that ends up moving all the mulch and doing the digging while he sits inside on a sunny day and plays on his computer. He NEVER takes out the trash without being reminded so I end up doing it myself while he sits on the sofa and watches t.v. I can be vacuuming in front of him, shoving heavy furniture around to get the job done, and he won’t get up to help me.

I am not the “feminine” woman in this relationship, he has given up his MAN card and made me his MOMMY and the responsible MAN! And it is not sexy for me to make-out with a boy. I never get to rest in the knowledge that he is thinking ahead and that he has my back. I always have to be the one who makes the plans, makes sure that the bills got paid and kill the bugs. Guys, does this sound like you? Then you’re not pulling your weight.

Professor

May 19th, 2009
10:02 am

@ Truth- you are correct I always ALWAYS take heed and when someone is giving me the heads up. There is a CD by Branford Marsalis that is called “I Heard You Twice the First Time.” I love that caption because when someone is telling you something especially when it depends on your safety and life you really need to hear him or her clearly and of course “twice the first time.”

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
10:05 am

@Lioness, stop acting like you know me (J/K) :wink: WD and I both thought it would make for good discussion!

@Fee, clapping, clapping, clapping!!!

AmazonRed™

May 19th, 2009
10:06 am

Relationship advice from Steve Harvey – a guy who admittedly cheated on his wife and ended up in a messy, public divorce. So much for protecting the family

The Other Truth – Good grief, why do folks keep bringing that up like that automatically discounts them from knowing what men think? I know you’ve been married for like a zillion years, but Steve Harvey can speak on dogging out women, cuz he dogged out women. How does that not make sense to you? His book is not about being a perfect husband.

-W8©

May 19th, 2009
10:08 am

A man is supposed to be a covering.. a protector of all things spiritually, mentally and physically..also equip her and your children to do so own their own when need be. Have a great day ladies and gents..I’m in a pissed off mood dealing with these idiots, at some point people in general have to start doing better. Have a great day… catch up with you all later this afternoon if possible

LIONESS- Preparing for my Trip

May 19th, 2009
10:08 am

Not- WOW! You are AMAZING! He was like this before the two of you moved in together..

AmazonRed™

May 19th, 2009
10:08 am

Ladies, sometimes men give you warnings about other men because WE ARE MEN AND KNOW THE EVIL THAT MEN CAN DO!! So the next time, your man advises you to be cautious or wary of certain situations, take heed.

Oh and by the way, this is exactly what the point of Steve Harvey’s book.

kimmie

May 19th, 2009
10:08 am

Morning All,

I love MEN and I love it when they ACT like REAL MEN, which includes taking on the role of protector. I grew up with a dad and 4 brothers and they looked out for me without being overbearing. I expect nothing less from one I am dating. I actually dated one that seemed to go out of his way to NOT take on the protector role – it seemed to kill him, and sometimes circumstances were such that I need to ASK for assistance. For example, I got a call from a neighbor that my alarm was going off at my house and the police were looking around. I was at work in Alpharetta and I live in SWATS, so I knew by the time I got home it would be dark. I called the guy and asked him to meet me at the house and look around to make sure everything was okay, even though it appeared to be a false alarm. He reluctantly met me, entered the front door behind me and promptly plopped down on the sofa and turned on a game, leaving me to look over the house myself. I dumped him that night.

Truth, that chick you described in your post are the same types of chicks that complain when a guy holds a door open for her, pulls out a chair, or takes anything gentlemanly as an insult. Those chicks don’t count in this discussion.

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
10:10 am

@NTMother, did you marry my ex?? Again, just kidding. I once asked my ex to put a deadbolt on the door leading from the backyard to the laundry room and then put a deadbolt on the laundry room door leading into the kitchen. He said if I wanted them installed then I needed to do it myself. I did exactly that! Now, that right there said a lot to me about being my protector and showing concern for my feelings and level of discomfort in my own home.

Kym wonders who told Mike Strahan he could act?

May 19th, 2009
10:10 am

Also, protection is not about running up and slaying dragons. Protection may mean protecting me from my own fool self at times. I am an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, somedays I plunge head first in other times I test the waters. It’s nice to have someone around that provides that balance..when I am dreaming up my next adventure or challenge. My son’s father was great at this. I would say something..like lets go bungee jumping..he would pat my hand, kiss my forehead and say calm down speedy..how about we just have sex?

LIONESS- Preparing for my Trip

May 19th, 2009
10:13 am

Leggs- PLEASE tell me you are joking about your lame azz ex!

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 19th, 2009
10:17 am

Good morning folks. Just got in from 2 hours of jet skiing in the ocean and a bruh is wupped. You cannot beat the elements, period. Also smoked some shisha yesterday and had real indian food. The international fest begins.

On topic: A dude should take care of all that he calls his. Not out of some great chest beating session but simply because its his. This is the trick in modern dating, determining what is yours and what is community property. some chicks just go to the wind.

Seems every woman on here wants to be protected but not many want to be directed, though alot need that too. As soon as a chick bucks she goes to the wind. When she falls its on her to get up. If you dont roll with my program you get none of the protections I offer. Thats the only offer on the table and we aren’t negotiating any points. Either bow down or bow out. While in my care though I’ll gove you everything I have, never deny you. And you never deny me. After that all else is easy.

kimmie

May 19th, 2009
10:18 am

Oh, and dudes that have to call every 5 minutes and need a play-by-play account of what you are doing all day are being more than overbearing – they are crazy-possessive, stalking and insecure. Plus, they obviously don’t have much to do or have anything worthwhile going on in their lives.

I would define overbearing as a guy whose behavior goes beyond gentlemanly and caring. He treats the woman as if she is completely helpless and can’t do anything for herself. Suffocating.

Professor

May 19th, 2009
10:18 am

@ NTMother- Wow he is a scandal and a shame! That is ridiculous.

@ Kimmie- Girl I grew up in the SWATS, and I am still close to it! When he plopped down on the sofa that was an abomination!

Le Siren

May 19th, 2009
10:19 am

“Not Their Mother”- That is one SORRY AZZ MAN! Why have you stuck it out this long? Are yall married? Do you have kids? Just trying to figure out why you would put up with a man that weak…

Foots

May 19th, 2009
10:21 am

Elijah Part of our security role is to teach the ladies how to protect themselves when we are not around!

I see that this is the case in my relationship. He installed Google Maps on my phone so that if he can’t drive me, I won’t get lost. He has also tried about 3 times to teach me the appropriate MMA way to take a man down if I’m attacked from behind. I can’t do it perfectly, but his teaching hasn’t been in vain.

It would probably irk me if I had to wait for a dude to case the house everytime we came home to make sure there wasn’t anybody in it. This is the first time I’ve even thought about that. I live alone and 6 days out of 7 (and even more if we spend the weekend at his place), I have to come home alone, so that’s not too helpful to me. But if I told him that the battery for my alarm system was dead, I know he’d get a replacement for me quickly and install it, even though I can do it myself. That’s practical protection and I appreciate that.

AmazonRed™

May 19th, 2009
10:25 am

Wow @ Not Mother and Leggs!

Yeah, my ex was really good at protecting at first. He used to check out my car, watch out for me when I’m out, etc.

I knew the end was near when he didn’t come stay with me one night after my single female neighbor suffered a home invasion. She was unharmed, but it could have ended badly for her. When I asked him why he didn’t come over, he said that his condo community was also suffering break ins, so he wanted to keep an eye out. :???:

kimmie

May 19th, 2009
10:26 am

Not His Mother – You’re joking right?

I know 4 year old boys that will help their moms out better than this.

And you actually call this a relationship? You actually can muster up desire for this dude?

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
10:27 am

@Lioness, wish I could, but no joke there. He comes over and cuts the grass and calls to see if anything around the house needs fixing. There are things that need fixing, but he didn’t want to do squat when he lived there so now I have my own handyman for repairs. (I purposely didn’t say “maintenance man” because I don’t want to wake up Melo!)

Sassy Me....Mmm, mmm, good :-)

May 19th, 2009
10:31 am

Morning Elijah how you doin’ :)

Not their mother If you’re doing all of those things with him, it’s obvious and apparent that YOU CAN DO IT BY YOUR YOURSELF sistergirl. Is he younger than you?…..is he the youngest or only boy of the family?(he’s not acting like a man so I didn’t call him one). Sounds like you’re frustrated and need a change of scenery,mainly him. You’ll do it when you’re ready just don’t wait too long and look back on it and wondered why you stayed sooo long. YOU CAN DO IT :)

AmazonRed™

May 19th, 2009
10:32 am

You guys Mother already said she’s leaving her relationship. I believe her. Anytime she has any doubts all she has to do is read her own post. Crazy!

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
10:33 am

YES, YOU CAN DO IT!

@ARed,I divorced for all the right reasons and married for all the wrong ones! That’s the bottom line!

Foots

May 19th, 2009
10:39 am

Leggs, I once broke up with a dude because he was sort of like that. He was the type to go to bed with doors unlocked. Once at his place, I took my dog out to potty; his house and neighborhood were new, so there were no streetlights or flood lights out there. All he had to do was stay with us, but he went inside. I was bothered, but not mad at the time. When I got ready to come inside, lo and behold, THAT was the time he mistakenly locked the door. So here I am, in winter, with a puppy, standing in the garage ringing the doorbell, at night. I put down the garage door to make me feel safer, and eventually he came to open the door. Said he was upstairs and didn’t hear the doorbell. I completely flipped out that not only would he leave me outside, AND lock the door (by mistake or not, the door was still locked), he wasn’t even close by in case something happened. That was an all-night argument because he refused to see my point. He didn’t have an ounce of protectiveness in him. And that was one of the reasons I broke it off.

Fast forward 8 years, we’re friends and I know that he’s matured way past where he was then. I’m glad he did, cause dude was lacking in that area.

FEE

May 19th, 2009
10:46 am

I have one Protector.. God the father… He has equipped us all to be self preservors….

My thing is, If you didnt walk the walk, dont write a book. We place to much trust in the wrong people…

That is SH opinion, it dont make it factual or Law… His words dont work for everybody, cuz all come from different backgrounds, situations, and circumstances….

Leggs

May 19th, 2009
10:49 am

@Foots, I somewhat chuckled at your story. He could have at least stayed with you. New subdivision, no street lights. Hell, he was only ocncerned w/getting to your honey pot when you returned (if you returned). I cannot understand those who don’t check their doors and windows at night. I go in my laundry room every evening to make sure no one has kicked in the back door. I have to check this for my own comfort level.