Nothing Left to Say
Today’s entry is courtesy of one of our wonderful, fabulous readers. I hope she doesn’t mind that I took her topic idea almost in it’s entirety! Check out what “Foots” had to say:
The things that made me love you are the things pushing me away now. – Nothing Left to Say (Mint Condition)
I believe that many desirable and undesirable qualities are flip sides of the same coin. In their song, they speak of wonderful attentiveness becoming crazy possessiveness. In my past, I dated a guy who I admired that he was such a good friend and concerned family member and that he kept in touch with his friends/family often. But part of the reason we broke up was that we never had any time together because he was ALWAYS on the phone taking on other people’s problems.
Here are some others that I have read or seen before:
- A friend of mine dated a woman and was impressed by her warmth and caring as a mother. He broke it off because she spent all her time with her kids.
- A dude dates a woman because she is so well put together and keeps her appearance up, but eventually he breaks it off because she spends too much time getting all dolled up.
- A woman is impressed by how far up the corporate ladder her new man has gotten at his young age, but she finds out that it’s because he puts in so much time at the office and never has any time for her.
- A person loves their new mate’s commitment to their faith, but gets frustrated and leaves because they won’t give up the lovin’.
- Most men love soft, feminine women, but dislike the fact that she shows all of theses emotions. But what else would they expect from a soft, feminine woman?
- Some women prefer the strong, silent type…until they realize that the man never actually talks to them or expresses his feelings.
- Some men love women who are organized with their life and finances, but they hate that I’m a “planner” type. I’m trying to figure out how they think I could be so organized without my planner instinct.
So, now, not only do we have to deal with good and bad totally separate qualities that a mate may have (i.e. person may be responsible/dependable, but not terribly romantic), we also have to accept that qualities we love tend to always come with a flip side of the very thing that irritates us the most.
I can really relate to this, on both “sides of the coin”. What drew me to a guy, was the very reason we ended up hitting the skids: confidence. Oh, confidence is cute in the beginning, but after a while it can be a bit too much.
What do you guys think? Have you experienced this in your relationships?
Is this an example of “careful what you wish for?” or are we a little clueless about relationships are about?
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342 comments Add your comment
Poppa Grande
May 18th, 2009
4:48 pm
Demi
Wikipedia is something else. It has help me in class as well when I couldn’t remember what happened in a particular case that the professor asks me about. (All those darn cases run together after a while)
That’s cool that it taught you something knew like pool. If only, it could teach me a better golf swing…lol. Then again, my swing is still better than Charles Barkley.
On another note: Why did Chuck tell that old joke last night? Ernie Johnson asked Charles why he doesn’t buy a watch for his lady? Charles answered with “Because there is a clock on the stove!” Only Charles can get away with that mess…
Melo
May 18th, 2009
4:49 pm
What should you do about the ex that’s coming to visit in a month
he shld stay in the hotel..adult thing to do.Her most concern is to the new guy….
AmazonRed™ - Lakers rocked L.A. - LITERALLY!
May 18th, 2009
4:49 pm
I went to visit an engaged ex and stayed at his place that weekend. He tried to sleep with me the whole time. I was the only one respecting his bride to be!
kimmie
May 18th, 2009
4:50 pm
My friend is the female. It’s her new man. The ex is coming to stay with him.
Still a jacked-up situation, Amred.
Poppa Grande
May 18th, 2009
4:51 pm
W8
Don’t count me in number of R. Kelly fans. He got off (just like OJ) because the cops didn’t do their jobs correctly. They should have known that Robert Kelly would have good representation and they had to do their jobs correctly. Get the warrant for the camera before taking it.
As a resutl, The camera with the pictures was excluded from the trial.
AmazonRed™ - Lakers rocked L.A. - LITERALLY!
May 18th, 2009
4:52 pm
Still a jacked-up situation, Amred.
I’ll say! I would offer to pay the cost of ole girl’s ticket. I mean, what’s $200 for some Bytch Be Gone spray! lol
Leggs
May 18th, 2009
4:53 pm
RandyT’s explanation works for both sexes. If he was really into his new GF, he will not allow his ex to stay. You know the motto, we now want back what the other girl now has. She should stay in a hotel because jealously and suspicion will rear it’s ugly head and the guy will now see his gf in a different light just by her actions.
Melo
May 18th, 2009
4:53 pm
I went to visit an engaged ex and stayed at his place that weekend
Young chics who havent had much experience in da dating game do this.U get dinerred up(wrd??)!!! U fault.
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
4:53 pm
@Cee- heck yeah..lol..i know me!! Seriously though I dont mess around there, for multiple reasons…keeps you out of the gossip circuit, if it doesnt work out you are black balled…and most (not all) want to streamline to marriage..besides if the good Lord told ME that one was my mate I would act on it…but until then i’m chilling…lol
Melo
May 18th, 2009
4:53 pm
I went to visit an engaged ex and stayed at his place that weekend
Young chics who havent had much experience in da dating game do this.U get dinerred up(wrd??)!!! Ur fault.
DJ Sniper
May 18th, 2009
4:55 pm
Melo, my thought process is different from most people when it comes to situations like this. If I truly felt that she and ol boy had something going on while they were roommates, I wouldn’t have pursued anything with her. As it stands, everything turned out fine. We got married, and he married the woman he was with at that time.
Cemeeli
May 18th, 2009
4:55 pm
WilleD You know the matching plaid outfits (i actually call ‘em “kits”) that you’ve seen floating around Colli Park and Decatur too (hush Mo with the Chevy crowd.
That’s that kit i’m talking about.
Demi
May 18th, 2009
4:55 pm
W8…Dude, I went to church on Easter…I thought I was at a meat market.
I now go to church looking bommmie…LOL
Leggs
May 18th, 2009
4:55 pm
RandyT’s example works for both genders.
Not surprised a year later friend and dude got married.
If he insists, he’s not your man!
Cemeeli
May 18th, 2009
4:56 pm
It’s for the Mini-stray!
~ Ya’ll be easy.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
May 18th, 2009
4:56 pm
Ared and Kimmie…mine was her ex-husband who had just had his father die and just got a divorce so the kids thought it waould be nice to invite “Daddy for Christmas since he had such a rough year”. He could have stayed with his grown son but she felt sorry for him and told him he could stay at her place. He just kept “innocently” asking for more and more until I drew a line in the sand. She stepped over, I got drunk, told her it was over. Three weeks later she flew to Dallas and slept with him. Seven months later she was my real estate agent and we sort of got together, but she never could find a “good” time to tell him it was over and I moved on. She later told me that the next three years were totally wasted. Too late.
A side note. The four relationships in my somewhat long now life that I valued the most ALL ended in December…I have been very tempted since to stop all relationships from Thanksgiving to Valentines Day and spend that time with one of my oldest friends Makers Mark.
AmazonRed™ - Lakers rocked L.A. - LITERALLY!
May 18th, 2009
4:57 pm
melo – I didn’t “get” anything except a fun visit to a place I hadn’t been too. The word “no” still works as good as ever.
Demi
May 18th, 2009
4:57 pm
Cemeeli…I blame B.E.T.
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
4:57 pm
@PG- I can not deny R.Kelly Public Announcements influence on my college years..lol..Ob Barkley hate his golf swing but I like the guy.
@Ared- B*tch Be Gone Spray is a must
@DJ- When it’s yours you know it’s yours..you got your woman
@Cee- When we riding thru the hood for old times sake..lol
kimmie
May 18th, 2009
4:58 pm
DJ – But they were roommates, not some “ex” rolling into town for their annual visit. Don’t seem like the same type of situation to me.
Demi
May 18th, 2009
4:58 pm
I have been very tempted since to stop all relationships from Thanksgiving to Valentines Day…
Ish saves me a lot of money, LOL
Cemeeli
May 18th, 2009
4:58 pm
W8 Ima get on you bout the church women…cuase OBVIOUSLY you don’t CEE who is throwing that sheet around you.
Ain’t nothing wrong with marrying a church women. Atleast there will be fried chicken and peach cobbler at your Repass.
Leggs
May 18th, 2009
4:58 pm
Maybe its me, but my ex couldn’t even suck my big toe!
Leggs
May 18th, 2009
4:59 pm
Oh, that crap will post but not when I’m making a boatload of sense! Go figure!
Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)
May 18th, 2009
4:59 pm
Ahh The Boondocks – I miss them too. ‘you gon’ pay what you owe!’ my favorite Riley line
Demi
May 18th, 2009
5:00 pm
Statement of the day…
When it’s yours you know it’s yours..you got your woman
AmazonRed™ - Lakers rocked L.A. - LITERALLY!
May 18th, 2009
5:00 pm
LOL @ Leggs. But I’m with you. That’s why I don’t remain friends with exes. Don’t need the headaches! Your friendship is not that great! lol
Night everyone.
Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)
May 18th, 2009
5:00 pm
Have a good night all!
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
5:00 pm
@DEMI- Yeah thats why i sit waaaaayyyy of front at Word Of Faith….no distractions and I beeline out.
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
5:01 pm
@Ared- I dont talk to exes either…ever
Demi
May 18th, 2009
5:01 pm
Ain’t nothing wrong with marrying a church women. Atleast there will be fried chicken and peach cobbler at your Repass….
Yep, they seems to blow up after marriage…uh huh!!
kimmie
May 18th, 2009
5:01 pm
Nite All!
W8 – Nite my Dawg buddy!
Leggs
May 18th, 2009
5:02 pm
Goodnight.
@ARed, have your gf ask her man to put his ex up at a hotel. If he insists HE’S NOT HER MAN!
Demi
May 18th, 2009
5:03 pm
W8…that’s why a lot church put the oldda sisters upfront..
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
5:04 pm
@Ce- and thats why I dont eat fried foods..lol
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
5:04 pm
@Kimmie- Cya, soon
DJ Sniper
May 18th, 2009
5:10 pm
W8, you go to Word of Faith over by Six Flags? That’s the church my in-laws go to. We went there for Mother’s Day.
Randy, my boy introduced me to Maker’s Mark last year. It’s now one of my favorite drinks. He calls it the Mind Eraser. lmao
DJ Sniper
May 18th, 2009
5:13 pm
To touch on another comment that a couple of people have made: With the exception of one woman in particular, I’m still cool with most of my exes. One of them even went bowling with me and my wife a while back. Some of them don’t even live here, so it’s all good. The one ex that I’m not cool with, I’ve forgiven her for what she tried to do, but on the other hand, we ain’t about to be best friends anytime soon.
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
5:17 pm
@DJ- Yep
Leggs
May 18th, 2009
5:24 pm
I’m cool w/my ex because he’s the father of my child and she doesn’t need to see any friction. We’re divorced but I’m civil for her sake!
Demi
May 18th, 2009
5:34 pm
open?
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
5:34 pm
TIme to go to work cyall