Nothing Left to Say
Today’s entry is courtesy of one of our wonderful, fabulous readers. I hope she doesn’t mind that I took her topic idea almost in it’s entirety! Check out what “Foots” had to say:
The things that made me love you are the things pushing me away now. – Nothing Left to Say (Mint Condition)
I believe that many desirable and undesirable qualities are flip sides of the same coin. In their song, they speak of wonderful attentiveness becoming crazy possessiveness. In my past, I dated a guy who I admired that he was such a good friend and concerned family member and that he kept in touch with his friends/family often. But part of the reason we broke up was that we never had any time together because he was ALWAYS on the phone taking on other people’s problems.
Here are some others that I have read or seen before:
- A friend of mine dated a woman and was impressed by her warmth and caring as a mother. He broke it off because she spent all her time with her kids.
- A dude dates a woman because she is so well put together and keeps her appearance up, but eventually he breaks it off because she spends too much time getting all dolled up.
- A woman is impressed by how far up the corporate ladder her new man has gotten at his young age, but she finds out that it’s because he puts in so much time at the office and never has any time for her.
- A person loves their new mate’s commitment to their faith, but gets frustrated and leaves because they won’t give up the lovin’.
- Most men love soft, feminine women, but dislike the fact that she shows all of theses emotions. But what else would they expect from a soft, feminine woman?
- Some women prefer the strong, silent type…until they realize that the man never actually talks to them or expresses his feelings.
- Some men love women who are organized with their life and finances, but they hate that I’m a “planner” type. I’m trying to figure out how they think I could be so organized without my planner instinct.
So, now, not only do we have to deal with good and bad totally separate qualities that a mate may have (i.e. person may be responsible/dependable, but not terribly romantic), we also have to accept that qualities we love tend to always come with a flip side of the very thing that irritates us the most.
I can really relate to this, on both “sides of the coin”. What drew me to a guy, was the very reason we ended up hitting the skids: confidence. Oh, confidence is cute in the beginning, but after a while it can be a bit too much.
What do you guys think? Have you experienced this in your relationships?
Is this an example of “careful what you wish for?” or are we a little clueless about relationships are about?
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342 comments Add your comment
SexyCool
May 18th, 2009
3:12 pm
As someone who drinks only in social situations, I have a hard time understanding people who sit around the house and drink themselves drunk.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
May 18th, 2009
3:13 pm
Yup Lioness 24 @ 8:00 tonight. The two hour season finale. I’ve got my HD hooked up to the home theater system to listen to the bullets flying LOUD. This has been a greeeeaaaatttt season!!! Possibly the best since the first season. I wrote in Jack Bauer for Prez four years ago when I could not in good conscience vote for Bush or Kerry. Figured Jack could save the world in 24 hours (one hour per week but 24 weeks is okay).
On another note, just read where Cynthia Nixon from Sex In The City just announced her engagement to another lady. It is getting downright unfashionable to be straight I guess. I wonder if I still have time to become a lesbian too…just to be current you understand.
Poppa Grande
May 18th, 2009
3:13 pm
I-85
The problem is I like her BUT Minus the alcohol/outgoing
You can’t change someone else. She has to want to change for HERSELF & NOT YOU. Therefore, you know the deal. Its on you to make the best decision for you.
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
3:13 pm
@I-85 – Hey man can’t change anybody, they have to want to change themselves or they will revert back…it may be hard but leave her alone..you will get over it..eventually
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
May 18th, 2009
3:17 pm
@I-85 I heard Tony Robinson (that TV self-help guru) say something once that made a lot of sense. He said that the only way people change a bad habit or behavior is if the pain of continuing is greater than the pain or the bad habit. Many never get there from drinking…until they have an accident or something…or they love their children enough to change.
i'm swiss
May 18th, 2009
3:17 pm
Staceye & -W8 — Yes, I am a child of the 80s.
Leggs
May 18th, 2009
3:17 pm
The season finale of 24 tonight is going to be FABULOUS!
@PoppaG, you went all the way back to Julia.
@I-85, you say you don’t want someone like that for your wife because it would be a double standard for you. So, what are you doing about. Keeping her in your hip pocket while you look for someone much more worthy? If that’s what you’re doing is that fair. Since you seem to be looking for a wife why not end this one since it won’t end down the road you’re wanting to go down. Who’s stringing whom along!
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
May 18th, 2009
3:18 pm
Re my comment above
I meant when the pain of keeping the bad habit is greater than the pain of changing. Sorry
LIONESS- It is Freezing in my Office!
May 18th, 2009
3:18 pm
Sexy- Me neither.. My coworker is a funtioning alcoholic.. Very sad! People who become addicted to things have an addictive personality.. There is NO WAY I could be addited to anything but…
Raqi...32 Days to ML
May 18th, 2009
3:18 pm
Poppa there are only so many ways that you can go with televised entertainment. That’s why it nice to find a writer takes the old and put a new spin on it. About like these blog topics. Only so many avenues a relationship can go in. It has to presented in a different way to keep the audiences attention.
I think the reality television was an interesting change in prime time televised entertainment. Although most of them are just plain ridiculous, it was an attempt in something new.
Cemeeli
May 18th, 2009
3:18 pm
I-85 Are you an offical lurker? If so…THANKS for your story.
I was about to say something else real thupid, but i got a text and i’m causing folks to really catch’a asthma attack from laughing.
Please forgive me for calling your lady a lush. I ain’t mean it like that, K?
dapps
LIONESS- It is Freezing in my Office!
May 18th, 2009
3:19 pm
85- Are you serious? You can’t be! How old are you?
LIONESS- It is Freezing in my Office!
May 18th, 2009
3:20 pm
Cee-LMAO!
Raqi...32 Days to ML
May 18th, 2009
3:20 pm
They’ve seen the success of House of Payne and Meet the Browns on TBS
Amazon I think Tyler Perry is paying somebody under the table to keep those shows aired. Entertainment blasphemy.
Cemeeli
May 18th, 2009
3:23 pm
O – okay. I didn’t call her a lush. I asked if she was a lush?
Okay, i need to …
Mo Please bring the steep stool ova here so i can use it to dust off the top of my cabniets. They are really missing the cleaning crew at night. hmmph…do i need to complain. All the sneezing…
Kym-24- 2 hours -tonight? I'm there
May 18th, 2009
3:24 pm
PoppaG
Mike Weston is the man. As for your opinion of Jack Bauer..when the revolution comes you will be looking for Jack to save you. LOL@ CSI-Stockbridge( I haven’t watched CSI in a min but I want the video game) Have you ever watched Damages? Lord Glen Close is a just awesome. Patty Hewes is a bad woman.
Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)
May 18th, 2009
3:25 pm
How is it that House of Payne and Meet the Browns is ’successful’ but The Game is going off the air.
Definitely watching Hawthorne, but isn’t it going up against 24 (which I do not watch)?
Poppa Grande
May 18th, 2009
3:26 pm
Leggs
@PoppaG, you went all the way back to Julia
Its pretty sad that I had to go back that far for something comparable. There aren’t many shows with black female dramatic leads, and even fewer that have their name in the title.
Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)
May 18th, 2009
3:27 pm
There aren’t many shows with black female dramatic leads, and even fewer that have their name in the title
Ain’t that the truth!
Professor
May 18th, 2009
3:29 pm
@ -I-85 you might as well leave her on the next exit because she is who she is…you changed and caught feelings.
@ ARed- I am not much of a TV watcher (I used to love Prison Break), but I will try to remember to tune in.
Leggs
May 18th, 2009
3:30 pm
You’re absolutely right, PoppaG, and to have to go that far back should be an eyeopener for the tv executives. What am I say, hell, they don’t care!
@Raqi, I too do not understand why House of Payne is still on the air. But, must admit I said the same thing abt The Bernic Mac show when it first aired. I thought he looked and acted like a buffoon when it first aired. Turned out to be a decent enough show!
Roller3
May 18th, 2009
3:30 pm
shallow group yall are
Poppa Grande
May 18th, 2009
3:31 pm
Tazzee
House of Payne and Meet the Browns have the power of Turner behind them. Hous
The Game has the CW. Viacom is only willing to go so far. Viacom doesn’t seem to fund the CW shows like they fund CBS, MTV, etc. The one exception is America Next Top Model.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
May 18th, 2009
3:32 pm
Poppa Grande comments about TV’s lack of originality reminds me of the only other TV show I watch (besides “24″) with any consistency and that is “Dexter” on Showtime. It is definitely original to have a serial murderer as the star and hero of the show. I have tried to analyze what that says about me to be cheering for a serial killer. Weird.
Kym-24- 2 hours -tonight? I'm there
May 18th, 2009
3:32 pm
@Raqi you got that right..House of Shuck and Jive, Meet the Ignorants..that is some of the worst programming ever. All they need is some cotton fields and a few yes sir bosses. Yeah I said it..I had support for Tyler P back in the day but now-Foolishness!!!
I will watch Hawthorne..give Jada a chance.
SexyCool
May 18th, 2009
3:33 pm
Tazzie Mae Jekins – If you ain’t never told the truth before in YO’ LIFE, you told the truth in your 325p comment!!!!
And did you see the one hour episode Friday? And will SOMEbody PLEASE tell me that it was NOT the last ONE?!?!?!?!?!??????
(mild hyperventilation here – lol)
Cemeeli
May 18th, 2009
3:34 pm
Anyone seen the Spongebob prom dress?
wow!
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
3:34 pm
@Tazzee- I just started watching the game this year..lol i’ve 63 episode on DVR i think I watched the finale the other day..baby born, derwin married med school and kelly knocked tasha out? Is that the finale or is there more?
Raqi...32 Days to ML
May 18th, 2009
3:34 pm
Leggs in order for that to be a decent show T. Perry needs to scrap it and start all over. One of the ladies here is married to a fireman and they make half way decent money.
How is it that boy cannot get out of his uncle’s house and get a place for him and his kids? That show is just dumb. Everytime I need I want to give it another try it disappoints me all over again. LOL
Willie Dynamite
May 18th, 2009
3:35 pm
Regarding 85’s situation; I’m not gonna assume ol girl is now a lush or an alcoholic. Just going by what I read it seems she’s no more the party type than him. Thing is he wants to grow the relationship and ol girl doesn’t see it that way. In my opinion she’s given you a reason to slow down hangin but Ion think you’ve given her a reason to slow down.
Poppa Grande
May 18th, 2009
3:36 pm
Kym
As for your opinion of Jack Bauer..when the revolution comes you will be looking for Jack to save you.
I’ll take my chances. Dude must drink a lot of Red Bull. That is a lot to pack into 24 hours. My suspension of disbelief won’t suspend for this show. I don’t hate on those that like it though. It’s better than more “reality” shows.
Raqi...32 Days to ML
May 18th, 2009
3:37 pm
I haven’t seen the finale of the game…thanks W8 for ruining it for me. LOL
LIONESS- It is Freezing in my Office!
May 18th, 2009
3:37 pm
Cee- Email me your email address.. michellecamille@live.com
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
3:38 pm
Son’s on Anarchy- another good tv show last year
Raqi...32 Days to ML
May 18th, 2009
3:38 pm
That is a lot to pack into 24 hours
Poppa I know. That show is just too far out there with him doing all that he does in a 24 hours span.
AmazonRed™ - Lakers rocked L.A. - LITERALLY!
May 18th, 2009
3:40 pm
Amazon I think Tyler Perry is paying somebody under the table to keep those shows aired. Entertainment blasphemy.
Raqi – I agree. I told my Turner programming friend that I don’t watch it, nor do any of the black people I know. He said that he didn’t know a lot of blacks who watched it either.
If the numbers are what they say they are, then SOMEONE is watching if the black people arent’ which is encouraging. That’s why networks like TNT are willing to take a gamble. It doesnt’ hurt that Jada’s husband has a WIDE crossover appeal to all races.
-W8©
May 18th, 2009
3:40 pm
@Raqi- oopsssss LOL, I still left out some out.
Melo
May 18th, 2009
3:41 pm
One of the ladies here is married to a fireman and they make half way decent money.
How is it that boy cannot get out of his uncle’s house and get a place for him and his kids?
U arent coherent Raqi!! but neva mind tho if u talking about House of Payne..
Raqi...32 Days to ML
May 18th, 2009
3:43 pm
Kym I like some of T. Perry’s movies. But those two sitcoms and those ridiculous stage shows have to go.
Cemeeli
May 18th, 2009
3:44 pm
Anh how in the mess did Lil Kim become a contestant on “Dancin’ with Stars”?
Okay yall…
Melo
May 18th, 2009
3:44 pm
I think Perry wld have better ratings and more money on BET…u think?
Cemeeli
May 18th, 2009
3:45 pm
WilleD What chu’ tryna say? I mentioned the Lush. I know of 1-85. Holla at cha’ girl.
Cemeeli
May 18th, 2009
3:47 pm
…auh, em>what she want?
Lioness -Sis, if you don’t know nothing about putting 24s on my Chevy, I cain’t fool with you lil mamma.
Holl at cha’ girl.
Poppa Grande
May 18th, 2009
3:48 pm
Tazzee, AR, Raqi
My feeling is that people are watching it, but not admitting that they do.
I mean Tyler Perry’s Chitlin Circuit plays (Meet the Browns is one of them) have done extremely well. I saw DVD copies of the plays on sale by the register at Walgreens. There has to be some market for them to go that far. It is even in syndication and under legal rules there has to be a separate contract for each channel on which it plays. Therefore, there is a syndication contract for TBS and a separate syndication contract for Peachtree TV.
Why would Turner go that far if they didn’t get the numbers?
For Real
May 18th, 2009
3:49 pm
Chick: Hi my name is Tanateshia and I have been sober for 12.. no 13 minutes.
Dude: Hey Tanateshia my name is I-85.
Kym: I’m with you on Burn Notice and Leverage. My other show is Breaking Bad.
I want believe anything on 24 until I see him take a pizz break, a nap and limp.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
May 18th, 2009
3:50 pm
W8…I was an MTV head as a lil kid. So I know a lot of songs from the 80’s! Bon Jovi was one of my favorites…so much that even now I have a dance to Blaze of Glory.
Speaking of Tyler Perry…I was shocked to see him in Star Trek. I did not know he was in it.
ARED…I will have to record Hawthorne. Gotta watch the season finale of Gossip Girl & One Tree Hill. It comes on at what time?
LIONESS- It is Freezing in my Office!
May 18th, 2009
3:54 pm
For Real- God Bless You!
Raqi...32 Days to ML
May 18th, 2009
3:55 pm
Poppa I tried watching one of TP’s stage shows on DVD at a friend’s house during one of our girls nights out, and that darn thing was like 1-1/2 hours too long. It just gets stupid after a while. After the first thirty minutes or so it’s just stupid. He needs to make them shorter, maybe.
But I will agree that someone out there is watching because he continues to make them. And I would be willing to watch the sitcom if he just did something different with it. Watching those shows are about like watching the Rosanne shows… Makes me want to stab myself in the eyes.
LIONESS- It is Freezing in my Office!
May 18th, 2009
3:55 pm
Have a good evening everyone..
Cee- You got mail
Poppa Grande
May 18th, 2009
3:56 pm
Pretty much if you look at TV programming as a whole the “Sit-Com” is pretty close to being dead. So, it doesn’t take much for House of Payne to be a successful sitcom. What competition does it have?…Jim Belushi’s horrible sit-com. Even George Lopez’s show is gone.