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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

That’s not my name

Today’s post is courtesy of “Brian”, a 29 year old man from Smyrna. Brian wanted to offer his perspective  after a recent experience he had with a young lady he was seeing:

I have been going out with someone for a couple of months. A couple of weeks ago, when we were in the heat of the moment, she said someone else’s name. I think it was her ex-boyfriend or something. I didn’t say anything about it at the time but it is making me question if they are still seeing each other. Even if they are not in contact, he is obviously in her thoughts. It was probably an honest mistake but it has never happened to me before.

Wow, Brian, that’s quite the conundrum! I can’t say that has happened to me before. I don’t think it has, anyway. Ladies, have you ever made this mistake? Did you own up to it or ignore it? Do you think Brian should bring it up even though it didn’t just happen? What would you do if you were with a guy and he called you another name by mistake?

Guys, how would you handle it? Have you ever used the wrong name with someone you were seeing? What happened? Did the lady completely flip out about it?

Do you think it means anything when someone you are seeing brings up the name of their last significant other/partner? How many mentions are too many? Are you more understanding if the person was with their ex for a long time?

Happy Thursday

479 comments Add your comment

LIONESS

May 14th, 2009
8:53 am

Good Morning All :)

WOW! LOL! Since they have been dating a couple of months, she may be still messing with her ex.. If not, she is DEFINITELY still thinking about him.. Poor Brian if he is emailing you asking for advice! He must REALLY like her if he is giving her the benefit of the doubt.. I never understood why people call peoples names while having sex.. If it were me, that would be an IMMEDIATE turn off!

Ladies, do you think Brian is worthy of submitting to?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 14th, 2009
8:58 am

My own Mom calls me by my uncle’s name, my half brother’s name, etc., it is some kind of nervous energy/confusion…might be something genetic because I find myself doing that some to (probably early Alzheimers). So it may be nothing, although never experienced it in the heat of the moment”.

What I have experienced (up close and personal) is where circumstances bring an old lover back around. It is frankly a bit painful when one sees in his/her partner’s eyes that there is still some feeling. The country musical group Alabama said it best in its song “Old Flame”. The reframe is:
“There’s an old flame burning in your eyes,
that tears can’t drown and makeup can’t disguise.
That old flame might not be stronger,
but its been burning longer,
than any spark I might have started in your eyes”.

Most of my relationships went downhill from then on…because there was obviously no total “closure”…and that flame was still smoldering inside them. Oh well, “Lifes a byiotch and then you die (or marry one)”.

MissQC aka BIRTHDAY QUEEN

May 14th, 2009
8:58 am

Morning Bloggers! This is going to be a great day..not only because it’s my ‘BIRTHDAY’ but because we’re all in the “land of the living”

Have a great day everyone…i really do hate when i’m seeing somone and they bring up the last person they were dating before Me…because i really don’t care to hear about them!

SMOOCHES ;)

LIONESS

May 14th, 2009
9:00 am

Happy Bday QC!! Have a special one :)

Stan

May 14th, 2009
9:05 am

That’s why I never call out real names, I just stick with generic nicknames. Babe, baby, freak…you know.

C tha 1

May 14th, 2009
9:05 am

Are you serious?! Unless I didn’t give a d@mn about this chick would I let this slide. C’mon this chick got to be in some sort of rotation or something! Based off your post I’m going to infer that you actually like this girl as you’ve been “seeing” this girl for a couple of months….AND SHE CALLS OUT ANOTHER DUDES NAME WHILE YOU’RE TRYING TO SCORE. Before I speak to quickly please explain your response to this blatant act of disrespect. Please tell me you’re not spending money, going out on lunch dates and such. WTF part of the game is that?! Maybe I’m overreacting, but I haven’t been this apalled reading this blog first thing in the morning in a loooonggg tiiiiime.

Raqi

May 14th, 2009
9:10 am

The most I have even talked about my exes is on here and that would be because to chime in with certain topics I will mention something that may have taken place in the past. But as for mentioning the names of the exes in the presence of my marido I only do so when while talking about their son.

The only time I have called a love interest somebody else’s name is with Randy. I mistakenly called him Mason. He didn’t say anything at the time but just sorta looked at me. It took me a minute to realize I had said the wrong name. LOL After that I guess he wasn’t surprised when I let him know that I was with Mason and that he and I could only be friends.

In Brian’s case and other’s like it, I would think it depends on how long it has been since the break-up from the ex and how into that person they were. Or it could very well be that she is still seeing him or wants to be with.

Beautiful

May 14th, 2009
9:10 am

happy birthday QC!

Raqi...37 Days to ML

May 14th, 2009
9:10 am

Happy Birthday QC

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 14th, 2009
9:11 am

Brian, put in work and put your name on it. Hmmm I have never been called anyone elses name nor have I called anyone someone elses name during the heat of the moment..nor outside of it for that matter. I think that would be the beginning of the end no matter who said it. Thats why it’s good to stick to pet names in the bedroom, they are transferable…lol (marinate on it)

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 14th, 2009
9:13 am

Happy Bday QC

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 14th, 2009
9:17 am

Morning all!

I’m surprised Brian didn’t say anything at that moment – but I guess he wanted to continue through to get his. This has never happened to me, but if it did it would be like the sound of a record screeching to a halt while everyone is on the dance floor – all action would stop IMMEDIATELY!!!

I have been called by an ex’s name but that was because she and I have the same first initial and it was the first time this guy and I ever got in an argument. He argued quite a bit with his ex. That took the argument to a whole ‘nother level.

I’ve never called a guy by an ex’s name but I have called him my best friend’s name in the midst of a discussion. That’s happened a few times before.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QC!

Beautiful

May 14th, 2009
9:17 am

@BRIAN
who was she with at the time this mishap occured? please get over it and move on. it was a mistake.

i personally don’t like to be called sunshine, babe, baby, lil mama, beautiful, lady, woman, etc. i like when a man says my name Angie. it seems more personable.

when i caught my ex cheating and had the opportunity to speak with one of the other women, she mentioned that he called her babe. that bothered me a great deal. i feel he did it to not mix our names up. smart on his part though.

good morning FELLAS!

Atltwen

May 14th, 2009
9:18 am

I’ve done it before; not during intimacy, but during the foreplay.

I was making love to her feet, and I said “—–” (her sister’s name) – totally by mistake; she spasmed and almost kicked my front teeth out!

“What did you just say!” I mean, she said like she wanted to take her bra off and strangle me with it.

Ladies, chill out, sometimes it just an honest mistake.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 14th, 2009
9:19 am

W8 and THAT is why I don’t tolerate pet names. My man can’t be like ‘baby, I love you’ nah buddy, I want my full gov’t name – first, middle and last :lol:

Poppa Grande

May 14th, 2009
9:20 am

Happy 21st birthday, QC!

Kym-Is too tired to come up with anything clever to say here

May 14th, 2009
9:22 am

Good Morning All,

Maybe the way he rubbed her spots remind her of Todd or Fred or whoever she called out. Who knows? Why didnt he just ask her about it?

“So when we were freaking last night you called me Tomas and my name is Brian what was that about? A. I slipped up or B. You must be hearing thangs.(Denial) Either way you get an answer.

Have I called someone another name yep.. has someone called me another name yep.

Poppa Grande

May 14th, 2009
9:23 am

Tazzee

You want him to say, “I love you, Tazzee Mae Jenkins”.

LIONESS

May 14th, 2009
9:23 am

A- LMAO! You like feetz..

Brian is LAME! She is HOLLERING other dudes names while he’s chomping on her monkey.. LOL!

Beautiful

May 14th, 2009
9:23 am

**My man can’t be like ‘baby, I love you’ nah buddy** yup!

LIONESS- Think Before You Speak

May 14th, 2009
9:24 am

Brian needs not hate the player, hate the game ;)

Professor

May 14th, 2009
9:24 am

Good Morning All:

Happy Birthday Wishes QC!

Randy I love those lyrics thanks for sharing.

I am sitting in limbo on this one. I am horrible with names and often called my nephew my ex-beau and vice versa. I made this error from day one and it continues.

I will continue to ponder on this one and hit you all back later.

AmazonRed™

May 14th, 2009
9:24 am

Morning all. Dang, I wish this was yesterdays topic since I wasn’t on here. :lol:

To answer the question, no it’s never happened to me in the heat of the moment. I usually call out my Maker’s name anyway. :lol:

I have called people the wrong name in everyday life tho. Honest mistake. Also, sometimes when I’m talking to a guy friend, I might say “girl…!” just because I’m so used to chatting it up with my girls.

Have a great birthday QC!!!

Kym-Is too tired to come up with anything clever to say here

May 14th, 2009
9:24 am

Happy Birthday QC

mytw♥cents

May 14th, 2009
9:26 am

Because I’m devil-ish…and an advocate, I’m gonna say he was doing something soooo right, that the poor girl couldn’t even think straight! hahahaaaaaa It’s great when ya lose all comprehension ;) Seriously, it would make a difference to me at what point she said it. Was it a stray whisper at an anti-climatic moment or uhm the exact opposite?

C THA Something about your unleashed anger tickles me. I think it’s working for me cuz it ain’t directed at me. Did some lady let an ex’s name slip from her lips and land in her lap?

LIONESS You are so crackie! We don’t know nearly enough bout that dude…

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 14th, 2009
9:31 am

@Tazzee I am not talking about general names like “babe,baby or boo” I am talking about something unique to that person, then in the odd case you call the wrong pet name..you better explain what that pet name means and ride it out with the new girl..until the wheels fall off..lol, Now the kicker is coming up with a name that is soo off the wall freaky nasty but yet attractive that she wont ever tell anybody about it…lmao

Beautiful

May 14th, 2009
9:31 am

@MYTWO
imo what’s important is who she was with at the time. that says a lot.

and saying the wrong name to your husband vs. someone your dating is diff.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 14th, 2009
9:32 am

cosign mytwocents …”We don’t know nearly enough bout that dude…”

I would hesitate to give advice when we only know a few sentences about the relationship. That said, from personal experience, I think my “antennae” would be rising and I might start looking for any “inconsistencies” in what she says and what she does. Too early to judge, but I would be watching more closely.

English Girl

May 14th, 2009
9:33 am

I think I’m going to have to agree with some of the other folks on the blog….even if she isn’t still seeing the ex, she’s definately thinking about him. Since it’s only been a couple of months and I always think that in the first few months of a relationship ‘others’ that were there prior to you may still be in the mix, stuff like this can be expected. You have to give a person time to clean up, get rid off the ‘others’. Does it suck?……yes. Could it have been a genuine slip up or mistake?…yes

If she continues to ’slip up’ or show signs that she is ‘creeping’ 6 months in then I think you have something to worry about. For now, I think you just play it by ear and see what her behavior dictates.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 14th, 2009
9:36 am

@ Professor …the rest of the lyrics are at least as strong. Great song. Got that “t-shirt” unfortunately (or fortunately, who knows what is right around the corner, LOL). All things happen for a reason, IMHO.

mytw♥cents

May 14th, 2009
9:39 am

Okay, ALTWEN didn’t say he was ‘making love to her feet.’ I’m not just done- I’m OVERDONE! You’re knocking that VELONESE…

W8 See when you come across the right one, she’s not gonna go for all that generic love muffin BS. That’ll be part of what makes her a keeper. Try to call the lady you’re smitten with myten and I bet she’ll blink twice :)

Enjoy your birthday, QC!

Raqi...37 Days to ML

May 14th, 2009
9:39 am

W8 IMO all pet names are generic unless it is a variation of your name.

Like your moniker, I read it as Weight, so Mr. Weighty Eighty could be your pet name.

LIONESS- Think Before You Speak

May 14th, 2009
9:40 am

WOW..

Let me get his straight.. If you were dating someone for a couple of months and the two of you are getting intimate and the person calls out someone else’s name during the ep, you would give them the benefit of the doubt? Really?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 14th, 2009
9:40 am

@ Ared re:”talking to the Maker”…

What is that bad joke about “what is the worst thing about being an atheist…you have no one to talk to when you are getting a (fill in the blank)”.

-W8 (Devil's Advocate today)

May 14th, 2009
9:41 am

@my2- that excuse would not fly..lol
@Lioness-there is a serious problem if she calls another name while he is as you put it “chomping on the monkey”

Hmm if i call my partner someone else’s name..I would tell her she needs to step her game up and make it memorable

Poppa Grande

May 14th, 2009
9:41 am

AR

Dang, I wish this was yesterdays topic since I wasn’t on here.

Yeah, I noticed. You missed out. Lioness made her move on W8 when he mentioned that he was 6′4″.

Beautiful

May 14th, 2009
9:43 am

@BRIAN
you seem sensitive. lol. are you a cancer? you’re a man and this shouldn’t bother you as much as it would bother a female. having a relationship with you means she has to watch her step a lil more and think bout your feeling more than normal. which is a bit much, because she prolly knows like me that men are so kick back.

LIONESS- Think Before You Speak

May 14th, 2009
9:45 am

W8- Hmm if i call my partner someone else’s name..I would tell her she needs to step her game up and make it memorable <– I am a FIRM believer that people should ALWAYS do it as if they are doing it for tv..

-W8 (Devil's Advocate today)

May 14th, 2009
9:47 am

Fellas, you better man up and not accept that crap..you don’t go getting called another guys name during sex..Dont’ get mad when your girl yell’s “W8″..I was just doing my job..step up..Cuz I promise you if she is calling another dudes name when you all are intimate its going to be that other dude she is calling to finish the job that you started…and frankly I need my sleep..lol

@My2..I gave unique names back in the day, noting generic at all…and no problems at all

English Girl

May 14th, 2009
9:48 am

@Lioness….I’m sorry to sound cold, but after a couple of months which is roughly eight weeks. You are not getting ‘intimate’ with anyone…you are having sex! Sex and intimacy are two different things. I don’t think you can know a person enough in eight weeks to have ‘intamacy’. So therefore you are taking the ‘risk’ that everyone does when you are having sex with someone you really don’t know yet. So you make sure and consider the following:-

1. You protect yourself
2. You really don’t know if they are still sleeping with ‘others’ prior to you no matter what they say.
3. It’s just ’sex’ until you can trust that this person is committed to you and has invested in the relationship emotionally.

AmazonRed™

May 14th, 2009
9:48 am

Yeah, I noticed. You missed out. Lioness made her move on W8 when he mentioned that he was 6′4″.

:shock: Dang PG, you should have put him on hold for me. :lol: But doesn’t Lioness have a man? (NYCutie)

It’s all good though, for some reason my dating life is off the meter right now. I can’t understand why I can’t meet these jokers one at a time!

-W8 (Devil's Advocate today)

May 14th, 2009
9:55 am

@Poppa Grande -LOL, naw she didnt make a move

Sassy Me....Mmm, mmm, good :-)

May 14th, 2009
9:56 am

Mornting hellurr blog fam….HAPPY BIRTHDAY QC!!!

I’ve never called out the wrong name in a session before BUT on of my exes called his current woman MY NAME during one of THEIR heated moments,though. That was some time ago and hopefully they worked it out.

Poppa Grande

May 14th, 2009
9:57 am

I can’t understand why I can’t meet these jokers one at a time!

It is the way that it goes. Guys say that a lot. You either have droughts or monsoons.

I believe that it has more to do with the unconscious vibes. People who are dating tend to send out more positive vibes or pheromones than those in droughts.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 14th, 2009
9:57 am

PoppaG – LOL! Yup, he has to say my full name…

But seriously, it does a little something ‘extra’ for me when he says my full name – don’t know what it is but it gets a good response.

W8 – got you, actually Tazzee came from a former love interest and I just kept it. But it wasn’t for romantic purposes – he just wanted to give me a unique name that no one else uses. Oh well to that…

Haven’t had anyone come up with a unique name for me since that.

Poppa Grande

May 14th, 2009
9:59 am

W8

@Poppa Grande -LOL, naw she didnt make a move

I know…I’m just teasin’ her…..lol

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 14th, 2009
9:59 am

AmRed – I was wondering where you were yesterday. Just thought you were traveling somewhere. I’ve said ‘Gurl’ to a guy before too. It cracks me up when I make that mistake.

Sassy Me....Mmm, mmm, good :-)

May 14th, 2009
9:59 am

It’s all good though, for some reason my dating life is off the meter right now. I can’t understand why I can’t meet these jokers one at a time!

ARed it’s called “feast or famine”…I learned about it when I was in school. One minute you’re like “doesn’t anyone want me” and the next you can’t beat ‘em off with a stick. It’s like some evil “all or none” joke the universe plays.

LIONESS- Going To Get My hair Done

May 14th, 2009
10:00 am

WOW! I am making moves and I have a man.. This is going to be an interesting day :)

LIONESS- Going To Get My hair Done

May 14th, 2009
10:02 am

PG- Actually, I might make some moves on him today since you brought it up ;) Hopefully, he won’t reject me..