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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

The Question

Today’s guest blogger is a buddy of mine, “The Fly Guy“. When he isn’t jet setting to Los Angeles or New York interviewing celebrities, the man actually finds the time to date! Check out what happened on one of his recent dating misadventures:

I couldn’t have planned our first date any better. The ambiance was nice, the food was outstanding, and our conversation seemed to strike a perfect flirty/innocent balance. In other words, we were really enjoying each other’s company … that is until she asked me “the question.”

“So Mr. Fly Guy, why are you single?”

As the words left her lips, my body began to cringe—almost in the same way that one would cringe if they heard fingernails scrapping across a chalkboard, or Paula Abdul singing the acappella version of “Opposites Attract.”

Now some may wonder why I would be so up in arms about such an innocent question. After all, she was probably just asking as a way to express interest, right? Maybe.

At face value, I have no problem with her inquiry. But it’s the underlying question that needs to be addressed. What she really wanted to ask was, “So what’s wrong with you? There aren’t many good men out here, so you must be crazy, married, or a combination of both.” And I guess she had every right to ask whatever she wanted, but let’s be serious for a moment. What did she really expect me to say?

“I’m single because I was locked up for two years after beating up my girlfriend for giving me four incurable STDs and bad credit.”

I wonder if that was the answer she was searching for?

In all honesty, I just haven’t met the woman who has moved my heart to the point of wanting to give my all long term. Short of that, I’m not interested in wasting anyone’s time with discussions of settling down if my heart isn’t genuinely there. I’m not an escaped felon, nor am I a guy who secretly runs the Color Me Badd Fan Club (that might actually be less forgivable than a criminal record.) I’m just a guy who’s comfortable in my own skin, and who’s perfectly fine with being single until the right woman comes along.

So to the women of my future; the next time we’re out on a date, and you feel the burning desire to ask me “so why are you single,” just know that there are far better ways to get to know more about me than trying to uncover what brought me to this moment in time with you. Just know that I’m here, and I’m focused on us enjoying our time together. Why can’t you do the same?

I think we’ve all been there before, Fly Guy!  It’s interesting how a single man who seems to have it together is questioned on why he isn’t in a relationship. Ladies, do you ask this question when you meet men?

I get asked this annoying question by co-workers. What is it that they want to hear, exactly? Has anyone ever asked you “the question” on a date? How do you handle the question about your single status?

Have you ever been hanging out somewhere or on a date and was asked really outrageous or random questions? What did you do?

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

368 comments Add your comment

Demi

May 13th, 2009
5:00 pm

Cemeeli…I just turn thirty last month…Imma hang with them cougar cuties until I hit forty ( unless one marry me ), after that…18 – 24 year olds only…you gotta have mid-life crisis, LOL

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 13th, 2009
5:00 pm

Sexycool so you like le beef hotdogs, I am firing up the grill this weekend! :smile:

Cemeeli

May 13th, 2009
5:02 pm

Demi okay. YOus a baby…awww…

….pecan, hotdogs, bbqs.

I’m hungry! bye!

Demi

May 13th, 2009
5:03 pm

Cougar Hunter…I ve been preaching the “Cougar Gospel” for 3 years in the camp, LOL…I will admit, this one cougar has my attention, so I am laying low.

Demi

May 13th, 2009
5:04 pm

SexyCool…you know dayum well you are bringing Coach along, LOL

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
5:04 pm

@Demi..been there done that..a few years ago..lol
@Staceye..I’m shy..lol
@Foots..I’m just chillin..making myself at home..lol

Foots

May 13th, 2009
5:05 pm

kimmie After 20 years, even if she “required” him to ask her to marry him, he wouldn’t. My feeling is that he hasn’t asked her because he don’t want to. She probably stopped asking him about marriage 12 years ago cause she kept getting the same answer. NO!! LOL

My co-workers think that my long-term relationships are rare because I’m too picky. It pays to be picky sometimes, but if they forget why I had to let a few of them go after about two months of dating/screening, I remind them about the Bajan dude who was turning into a stalker, the African-born dude who wanted his baby mama to live with us if we got married, the dude who said he was divorced and wasn’t quite there yet, the dude who referred to a woman as “his baby-mama” when really, she was his wife, etc. They shut up about my pickiness pretty quickly after that. :lol:

Leggs

May 13th, 2009
5:06 pm

I’ll beat you down myself, Demi!!!!!!

Demi

May 13th, 2009
5:06 pm

( reminds of of definition of dancing:vertical expression of a horizontal desire)

Dayum Melo…you know how to take it >>>>> “LEFT”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Foots

May 13th, 2009
5:07 pm

In other words, I’m not just dumping a dude cause his feet stank. :grin:

Demi

May 13th, 2009
5:08 pm

Leggs…I must protect my territory at all cost….I don’t bullsit, LOL

Sybil

May 13th, 2009
5:08 pm

Aw h#ll, curiosity has gotten the best of me.

@-W8 – send me the pic too

januejohnson@yahoo.com

Leggs

May 13th, 2009
5:09 pm

Not everyone on here is salivating over W8. I know a few WLBs that haven’t posted a thing!

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
5:09 pm

@Foots..yeah YOU need to be picky..thats some rough stuff you have been through

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
5:10 pm

In all humbleness I’m not here to be salivated over..sesriously..just some good convos happening..

Leggs

May 13th, 2009
5:11 pm

I know, just harping on the word used earlier…you good peeps!

Leggs

May 13th, 2009
5:12 pm

Good night everyone! Enjoy those in your immediately circle!

Demi

May 13th, 2009
5:12 pm

W8…I am selfish…women above age 35 are all mines!!!!

( Demi is now being fitted for a new white jacket, with lots and lots of buttons…)