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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

The Question

Today’s guest blogger is a buddy of mine, “The Fly Guy“. When he isn’t jet setting to Los Angeles or New York interviewing celebrities, the man actually finds the time to date! Check out what happened on one of his recent dating misadventures:

I couldn’t have planned our first date any better. The ambiance was nice, the food was outstanding, and our conversation seemed to strike a perfect flirty/innocent balance. In other words, we were really enjoying each other’s company … that is until she asked me “the question.”

“So Mr. Fly Guy, why are you single?”

As the words left her lips, my body began to cringe—almost in the same way that one would cringe if they heard fingernails scrapping across a chalkboard, or Paula Abdul singing the acappella version of “Opposites Attract.”

Now some may wonder why I would be so up in arms about such an innocent question. After all, she was probably just asking as a way to express interest, right? Maybe.

At face value, I have no problem with her inquiry. But it’s the underlying question that needs to be addressed. What she really wanted to ask was, “So what’s wrong with you? There aren’t many good men out here, so you must be crazy, married, or a combination of both.” And I guess she had every right to ask whatever she wanted, but let’s be serious for a moment. What did she really expect me to say?

“I’m single because I was locked up for two years after beating up my girlfriend for giving me four incurable STDs and bad credit.”

I wonder if that was the answer she was searching for?

In all honesty, I just haven’t met the woman who has moved my heart to the point of wanting to give my all long term. Short of that, I’m not interested in wasting anyone’s time with discussions of settling down if my heart isn’t genuinely there. I’m not an escaped felon, nor am I a guy who secretly runs the Color Me Badd Fan Club (that might actually be less forgivable than a criminal record.) I’m just a guy who’s comfortable in my own skin, and who’s perfectly fine with being single until the right woman comes along.

So to the women of my future; the next time we’re out on a date, and you feel the burning desire to ask me “so why are you single,” just know that there are far better ways to get to know more about me than trying to uncover what brought me to this moment in time with you. Just know that I’m here, and I’m focused on us enjoying our time together. Why can’t you do the same?

I think we’ve all been there before, Fly Guy!  It’s interesting how a single man who seems to have it together is questioned on why he isn’t in a relationship. Ladies, do you ask this question when you meet men?

I get asked this annoying question by co-workers. What is it that they want to hear, exactly? Has anyone ever asked you “the question” on a date? How do you handle the question about your single status?

Have you ever been hanging out somewhere or on a date and was asked really outrageous or random questions? What did you do?

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

368 comments Add your comment

DasVenus

May 13th, 2009
4:17 pm

@LEGGS… thats crazy. but nuff said wit that desperation speaks even when you dont.

LIONESS-- Almost KILLED a Coworker!

May 13th, 2009
4:19 pm

W8- LOL @ the link!

Cougar- ???

Tmac

May 13th, 2009
4:23 pm

I am out…….

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
4:23 pm

When I think of “pecan tan”, I always think of the actual color of the nut, not the shell.

Melo

May 13th, 2009
4:24 pm

I just met a lady at the bank.She was talking to her female wrkmate and another male wrkmate stepped in.They strted talking and smwhere in there, i heard her say,she been with same dude for 20 yrs.
So on stepping out, i inquired,’is that for real,20 yrs??’She says yeah! I said,’so u dont wanna get married by him?’She said “yeah”.”And he hasnt asked u for marriage in 20″,she said “no”.Shook my head. “But i do wanna get married”,she opined.
I said ‘good luck’ and she said, on parting:
“But its all good tho”

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
4:29 pm

@Lioness..i have to make it plain.

@Sexy..well imagine the nuts on top of a pecan pie

LIONESS-- Almost KILLED a Coworker!

May 13th, 2009
4:31 pm

Melo- SHE IS A LAME AZZ CHICK!

W8- I want to see what you look like..

Sybil

May 13th, 2009
4:35 pm

Let the games begin.

Beautiful

May 13th, 2009
4:36 pm

**On marriage, if you want to be married why dont you start acting like a wife/husband should act?**

i do for the most part.

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
4:37 pm

@lioness-Labor day weekend I am hosting a party in Vegas at the Palms that Sunday night you can come out and have a ball. Or I am sure I will be doing something in Atlanta sooner or later…I’m thinking of doing a midnight bbq soon

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
4:39 pm

W8 – Do you live in Atlanta?

LIONESS-- Almost KILLED a Coworker!

May 13th, 2009
4:41 pm

W8-I want to see a pic of you.

Beautiful

May 13th, 2009
4:42 pm

**Wait a minute…a 6′4 sexy man might make a sista come out of hibernation**

lol. bingo!

Cemeeli

May 13th, 2009
4:42 pm

I’m jus’ peekin…waiting on 5.

Lioness – Hook that up, sis!

Makin’ me proud.

LIONESS--

May 13th, 2009
4:43 pm

W8- I won’t be in Vegas until the 25th.

LIONESS--

May 13th, 2009
4:43 pm

Cee- I have been wondering where you have been

Demi

May 13th, 2009
4:44 pm

( I’m thinking of doing a midnight bbq soon )

Ummmm…Are one of those swinger folks, huh?

I can tell you about them midnight bbq parties..LOL

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
4:44 pm

Melo – Hate to quote Steve Harvey, but he has not married her in 20 yrs because she hasn’t required it. Gotta have Standards & Requirements!

Foots- Great answer to “the question”. That’s usually my pat answer to folks that inquire, like older people at church, family. Problem is, they usually follow it with “well if you have not found anyone, you are probably being too picky”! Then anything that crawls out from under a rock & acts like he’s interested they want me to get with. When I balk, they say “see, being too picky”! I just laugh now!LOL!!

Melo

May 13th, 2009
4:45 pm

Do uall think Luda’s mum listens to his music??????

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
4:45 pm

@Kimmie yes I live in Atlanta and I am originally from Georgia.
@Lioness now how am I going to get you a picture of me? Besides you better show me one of you..same time..same time..I don’t know you…lol

LIONESS-

May 13th, 2009
4:47 pm

Cemeeli

May 13th, 2009
4:47 pm

was that mytwo? Posted about the sis at WEndy’s or HotWings or something.

That was funny as heck! I do not need to read another post from today ’cause i’m still rollin’ on the “hunh?” look. You took me there! I could imagine the look on your face when that chick went left, and started acting up about that sandwhich!

I’m so done! wow.

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
4:48 pm

@Demi..hell no I am not into swinging..I’m selfish..but I like the midnight bbqs on a weeknight..good food good friends good times in a non sexual/swinging type of way..lol

LIONESS-Curious

May 13th, 2009
4:48 pm

Cemeeli

May 13th, 2009
4:48 pm

@ Lioness – On the grind all day.

all i had today was these last 10 minutes. NO lunch, either!

LIONESS-Curious

May 13th, 2009
4:49 pm

Cee- Now you know how I feel when you get in your comedic mode ;)

LIONESS-Curious

May 13th, 2009
4:50 pm

W8- Please make sure you are fully clothed in the pic :)

Melo

May 13th, 2009
4:51 pm

Melo- Why

coz i write like he raps,good thing for me,my mum wont read my typos!! :grin:

Demi

May 13th, 2009
4:51 pm

( my advice to you guys, Do not sleep on the 35+ women… )

Guys, Don’t believe this hype.

W8 and C.H….I don’t need too much compo now…

( Guys, women below 35 are good for you…above 35, bad!! )

( Lioness is now beating Demi to the white meat with her Afro’s CakeCutter )

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
4:51 pm

@Lioness Labor day as in September 7, 2009 the party is September 6

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
4:51 pm

Put me on the Evite for that BBQ. I LOVE grilled beef hot dogs!

LIONESS-Curious

May 13th, 2009
4:53 pm

W8- I always get those two mixed up.. LOL!

Demi- I am NOT even close to 35 yet

Sexy- LOL! You love those hot dogs

Cemeeli

May 13th, 2009
4:54 pm

@ Lioness –

That Wendy’s story was foolish. I could only imagine being in that food court looking cwazi, right on, with mytwocents.

wwweeeeoooo, Oh cain’t breath…i cain’t breath….

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
4:54 pm

@Demi why is above 35 bad?

LIONESS-Curious

May 13th, 2009
4:54 pm

Demi- LOLOLOL! You ARE a fool!

LIONESS-Curious

May 13th, 2009
4:55 pm

Cee- That was Sybil with that story :)

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 13th, 2009
4:56 pm

@My2cents…. W8 has all the ladies salivating but sense you are so versatile and can handle more then conversation at a time! :smile: How you doing mami?

T-mac keep up the offense you are going to have to wear the Mamba down!
Make sure you use the mongoose technics!

Melo

May 13th, 2009
4:56 pm

W8/DEMI inviting girls to a midnite bbq is same thing as inviting girlz to a pantiless shower party.The desired destination is the same.

reminds of of definition of dancing:vertical expression of a horizontal desire!

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
4:56 pm

@Lioness – told y’all it tops my fave food list.

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
4:56 pm

@lioness “sent”

Melo

May 13th, 2009
4:56 pm

Cemeeli

May 13th, 2009
4:57 pm

Demi you silly.

Are you 30 yet? Lord, bless him.

Demi

May 13th, 2009
4:57 pm

W8…you are sleeping on my lesbian sistas, LOL. I knew what you meant…midnite bbq (the clean version) seem to be the thing to do in vegas…but, what happen in Vegas…HA HA.

LIONESS-Curious

May 13th, 2009
4:57 pm

Cougar- LOL @ salivating.. If you weren’t married, I would ask you to send me a pic too..

LIONESS-Curious

May 13th, 2009
4:58 pm

Melo- I am glad your momma doesn’t read anything you type either cause you are.. WOW!

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
4:58 pm

@Cougar – Once W8 mentioned a BBQ, it became all about the hot dogs! LOL.

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 13th, 2009
4:58 pm

@Demi them COUGARS are the best! You have to try 40 yrs and old!
My.My.MY, seasoned, ripe and already know how to please!

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 13th, 2009
4:58 pm

W-8…show me yours and I’ll show you mines! :lol:

Foots

May 13th, 2009
4:59 pm

Since when did W8 become the new male blog stud? :lol:

lurker

May 13th, 2009
4:59 pm

Lioness gon wit cho bad self. you gonna post the pic?