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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

The Question

Today’s guest blogger is a buddy of mine, “The Fly Guy“. When he isn’t jet setting to Los Angeles or New York interviewing celebrities, the man actually finds the time to date! Check out what happened on one of his recent dating misadventures:

I couldn’t have planned our first date any better. The ambiance was nice, the food was outstanding, and our conversation seemed to strike a perfect flirty/innocent balance. In other words, we were really enjoying each other’s company … that is until she asked me “the question.”

“So Mr. Fly Guy, why are you single?”

As the words left her lips, my body began to cringe—almost in the same way that one would cringe if they heard fingernails scrapping across a chalkboard, or Paula Abdul singing the acappella version of “Opposites Attract.”

Now some may wonder why I would be so up in arms about such an innocent question. After all, she was probably just asking as a way to express interest, right? Maybe.

At face value, I have no problem with her inquiry. But it’s the underlying question that needs to be addressed. What she really wanted to ask was, “So what’s wrong with you? There aren’t many good men out here, so you must be crazy, married, or a combination of both.” And I guess she had every right to ask whatever she wanted, but let’s be serious for a moment. What did she really expect me to say?

“I’m single because I was locked up for two years after beating up my girlfriend for giving me four incurable STDs and bad credit.”

I wonder if that was the answer she was searching for?

In all honesty, I just haven’t met the woman who has moved my heart to the point of wanting to give my all long term. Short of that, I’m not interested in wasting anyone’s time with discussions of settling down if my heart isn’t genuinely there. I’m not an escaped felon, nor am I a guy who secretly runs the Color Me Badd Fan Club (that might actually be less forgivable than a criminal record.) I’m just a guy who’s comfortable in my own skin, and who’s perfectly fine with being single until the right woman comes along.

So to the women of my future; the next time we’re out on a date, and you feel the burning desire to ask me “so why are you single,” just know that there are far better ways to get to know more about me than trying to uncover what brought me to this moment in time with you. Just know that I’m here, and I’m focused on us enjoying our time together. Why can’t you do the same?

I think we’ve all been there before, Fly Guy!  It’s interesting how a single man who seems to have it together is questioned on why he isn’t in a relationship. Ladies, do you ask this question when you meet men?

I get asked this annoying question by co-workers. What is it that they want to hear, exactly? Has anyone ever asked you “the question” on a date? How do you handle the question about your single status?

Have you ever been hanging out somewhere or on a date and was asked really outrageous or random questions? What did you do?

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

368 comments Add your comment

Tmac

May 13th, 2009
3:28 pm

Sexy cool…wrong again, I am 5′3″

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 13th, 2009
3:28 pm

@Sassy..you still my alright with me.in a dark alley and it jumps of…lol
@Kimmie I have a collected quite a few of his suits..I love them!!! I’m in a suit all of the time..hell i only own 3 pairs of jeans..lmao

Tmac

May 13th, 2009
3:29 pm

Sassy Me….Oochey—you were boiling few seconds ago but thanks for your nice comments :)

Kym-It's Like That And That's The Way It Is!

May 13th, 2009
3:30 pm

Unemployment at a record high
People coming, people going, people born to die
Don’t ask me, because I don’t know why
But it’s like that, and that’s the way it is

People in the world tryin to make ends meet
You try to ride car, train, bus, or feet
I said you got to work hard, you want to compete
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is Huh

Mo (aka Moeisha- looking for a new haircut)

May 13th, 2009
3:30 pm

Truth – I’ll take a Deion Sanders Braves Jersey please….. :0)

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
3:31 pm

Tazz – That prenup won’t do you a bit of good. Truth always finds a loophole. I ought to know, I’m stuck with his polygomist behind!

Yeah, Truth, you turn me on, oooh baby baby, uhh okay.

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
3:31 pm

So…you are as wide as you are tall? SEXXXXXXYYYYYYYY………. (said like DWade in the TMobile commercial)

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
3:33 pm

BTW….I hereby elect Sassy Me as the new President of the blog chapter of CAMFQ. (Cut A M-Fker Quick)

Kym-It's Like That And That's The Way It Is!

May 13th, 2009
3:34 pm

wait hold up…Is there an OOmpah Loompah in here? 5′6!!? really.

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
3:34 pm

W8 – Dang, so you know how to dress!! Dog, if I wasn’t boood up AND married to Truth, I’d have at ya! Nothing like a real man that can really DRESS!!

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
3:36 pm

5′3″ – no wonder.

LIONESS- Wondering while eating an Apple..

May 13th, 2009
3:38 pm

Tmac- You are a Chunk Bunk.. How cayute :)

Raqi...38 Days to ML

May 13th, 2009
3:39 pm

So…you are as wide as you are tall? SEXXXXXXYYYYYYYY

ROTFLMBO

LIONESS- Wondering while eating an Apple..

May 13th, 2009
3:39 pm

W8- How old are you?

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 13th, 2009
3:41 pm

@Kimmie -(Starts to sing..”boyfriieennnddd number twwwooOOOOOOOOOO”) Yeah I love to dress.(sweet nupe sweet nupe) I was up in New York a week ago and went to this Bonfire all clean in linen and a blazer etc…I guess i didnt get the memo about Timberlands are a fashion must at all times..lol..cuz i got the what are you wearing look..to funny

Foots

May 13th, 2009
3:42 pm

Y’all are cutting the fool in here! I can’t even catch up with the reading from earlier in the day cause I’m crying from what happened after 2… :lol:

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 13th, 2009
3:43 pm

@Lioness….Scorpio and my name is “W8″ I will be 36 this year…6′4 230lbs of twisted steel and pecan tan sex appeal…be gentle…please…lol..

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
3:45 pm

w8….call me….LOL….

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 13th, 2009
3:45 pm

Kimmie, if you’re good I’ll throw on your favorite after shave, High Karate. That turns you into an animal.

Please nobody talk to my Tazzy AZZy about pre nups. Our love is pure and untouched by the legal system and we’d like it to stay that way. We’ll go in on faith and a prayer and I’ll come out with her home and atlanta hawks tickets. Did I just say that out loud?

Ok, gotta go to bed. ITs 1044 and i got to get up at 3am.

Mo, hit me with the info. You too Kym, but not the kindle stuff because that gets junbled in the overseas journey. Damdest thing ive ever seen.

Night folks.

Tmac

May 13th, 2009
3:45 pm

LIONESS- Wondering while eating an Apple—-thanks …lots of people think I am….

Kym-It's Like That And That's The Way It Is!

May 13th, 2009
3:46 pm

5′3 He is 5′3..poor thang..he is still using booster seats.

Mo (aka Moeisha- looking for a new haircut)

May 13th, 2009
3:47 pm

HEY HEY HEY!! I am THE resident Oompah-loompah in here!! Who is trying to invade???? Im gon be Sassy’s 2nd in command of the CAMFQ in a sec…. :mad:

Thanks for the heads up Kym

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
3:48 pm

For all you Lie to Me fans. They were renewed for a SECOND SEASON!!!!! YEAH!!!!!

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
3:48 pm

W8 – Should have known you were a nupe – you pretty boys!LOL!!

DasVenus

May 13th, 2009
3:49 pm

wassup PAPI?? LOL@’a paper-cut this morning got the best of me’… what part got you.. when sybil lost it at the grave site and shifts from crying to yelling to angry stamp-yo-foot bawlin?? you aint lost your sense of humor over in the sand. thats good to know. i was gonna go to the corner store, pop one and pour a lil out for ya… but i see you have plans to hit dubai. dont lose that swag of yours… drink 15 day ole coffee if you have to and just pretend its alcohol … you know the occasional drink keeps one loose….. LOL

@LEGGS… LOL@ the ‘why dont you have car’ question… i thought we stop asking that in our twenties… dont tell me that question stays on the books.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 13th, 2009
3:49 pm

Kym – I have that song on my workout playlist. Was listening to it last week and thinking about how it applies to today.

mytw♥cents

May 13th, 2009
3:51 pm

SYBIL Not Wendy’s… but last week I’m waiting for my Garlic Parmesan wings to be ready,gettin ready to do the happy dance. All is calm…UNTIL the chick in front of me explodes after seeing the man pull out a slab of ‘chicken’ (steak um style) for her Chicken Philly. She goes off, hollerin at the dude that’s not how it looks in the picture and she shoulda been told it was a chicken breast cutlet, chopped down to make the Philly. She was like that’s dishonest wahwnk wanwk waw wank wah wahhh. I glance up and I am still in Cumberland Mall, not at Benihana’s. I looked around for the cameras and at the other 100 ppl who were thinkin WTF and why it had to be one of us!

The worst part of it for her was I don’t even think my Mexican brethren understood most of what she aaid cuz his response was a blank stare and offer of ketchup packets…

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 13th, 2009
3:51 pm

The Truth – I don’t have any Hawks tickets and it would truly be ’til death do us part’ before you get my Falcons tix.

LIONESS-- Almost KILLED a Coworker!

May 13th, 2009
3:52 pm

W8- I hear that! Scorpios are something else.. Sexy, you can have him :) Enjoy all 6 foot 4 inches of that lightskin goodness ;)

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 13th, 2009
3:53 pm

@SexyCool How you doing..lol

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 13th, 2009
3:55 pm

@Kimmie,LIoness and Sexy..yall are not going to be passing me around..I will not be treated like street booty by you ladies…lol..and I am not light skinned I am pecan tanned..hahaha

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 13th, 2009
3:56 pm

Wow!
The world is now upside down! :smile:

We have a Black President!

Mr. Truth (aka Mr. Hard) wants to go to the opera and learn how to do ballroom dancing! It must be the sandstorms!

T-mac is taking on the Mamba because he does not believe she wants to be alone, but instead of Staceye responding Ms. Sassy uses the blog to stump T-mac a new one!

Sassy I am comming with my massage table tonight to relax you!

T-Mac be like Kobe it time to go on the offense!

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 13th, 2009
3:57 pm

TMAC…” I see no ‘FUN’ in hearding peoples thought of something I AM NOT INTERESTED” That’s right…YOU don’t. But I do. Again….different strokes for diferent folks! And yes..I have lots of hobbies. But whilst I am at work…blogging here is fun and helps my day go by faster! Now is all this hostility because I refused to go out with you? :lol: Are your widdle feelings hurt???

SEXYCOOL…”I hereby elect Sassy Me as the new President of the blog chapter of CAMFQ. (Cut A M-Fker Quick)” :lol: Girl I am ROTFLMBAO!

KYM….”poor thang..he is still using booster seats”! Again…ROTFLMBAO :lol: Girl you’re mean! Are you saying his feet dangle when he sits on the toilet to drop the kids off by the pool?

mytw♥cents

May 13th, 2009
3:58 pm

SEXYCOOL I was wondering where it was when I watched The Mentalist last night. And oh yeah, who won the Race? I’m still irked with Jen for peeing two weeks ago, I haven’t check the DVR.

It’s very attractive for grown men to have a grown man’s wardrobe. Mm hmmm

HI COUGAR! I’m sure you’re out here charming the ladies…

Foots

May 13th, 2009
3:59 pm

On topic: I get asked that question a lot. It goes with the territory of being single, decent looking, fairly successful and 32. Because it’s par for the course, it’s never really bothered me. I take it as them being surprised that I’m still on the market with the positive qualities I have, instead of me being offended that they’d ask something so personal and intrusive. My standard answer is that I just haven’t met The One for me yet. It is the truth and still encompasses ALL of other truths that may be out there about me and the guys I’ve dated. The more they get to know about me, the better fleshed out my original response will become.

I can’t remember when the last time I asked a guy that question. I usually assume that he’s single because he wants to be. Other dudes just start the rambling that they can’t find what they are looking for in a woman, so they tell the story without me having to ask.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 13th, 2009
4:00 pm

Wait a minute…a 6′4 sexy man might make a sista come out of hibernation! :wink: :lol:

Kym-It's Like That And That's The Way It Is!

May 13th, 2009
4:01 pm

Tazzee- It is prophetic(sp) The lyrics speak and tell no lies..

You can see a lot in this lifespan
Like a bum eating out of a garbage can
You noticed one time he was your man
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is

You should have gone to school,
you could’ve learned a trade
But you laid in the bed where the bums have laid
Now all the time you’re crying that you’re underpaid
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is Huh!

One thing I know is that life is short
So listen up homeboy, give this a thought
The next time someone’s teaching why don’t you get taught?
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
4:01 pm

Alright then, Mr. Pecan Man Inna Suit, I guess you told us!LOL!! Sorry, we are just excited to have some “eye candy” up in here!!LOL!!

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
4:03 pm

I don’t share. I play with my blocks in my sandbox by myself. LOL

Leggs

May 13th, 2009
4:04 pm

@DasV, no, the question is still being asked. I posted that because a good friend (female) never learned how to drive and she is now seeing a guy she met on Marta who also doesn’t have a car…WTF. They go to clubs together (not often but they go) on the bus. GTFOH, she’s 45 and he’s 46. He told her about the points on his license and he’s in between jobs. Yes, yes, yes as been stated here, there’s someone for everyone and even if you’re not desperate and willing to settle, your actions state otherwise!

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 13th, 2009
4:05 pm

Look at the ladies running from the light skinned brotha! They are back in I think!

Mrs. Raqi you have been quite! How you feelin over there? I am going to miss your comments when you take maternity leave! :smile:

You really represent what it is to have a mindset to succeed in a marriage! I really like that keep up the good work! :wink:

Lord Velonese

May 13th, 2009
4:11 pm

Question asked to Fly boy: “So what’s wrong with you? There aren’t many good men out here, so you must be crazy, married, or a combination of both.”

I was going to say, he’s probably SMART. Being a guy of the same stature, when I’m asked that question I ask, what do I have retard wrote on my forehead. Of course I’m not as nice as Fly Guy seems, I’m an ass and proud of it because Men who are successful, that can do what we want, when we want need to protect ourselves. Guys like us have bull’s-eyes on us for greedy B’s. I can’t stand when family and friends try to set me up with someone, because I know for fact they have told things about me I don’t want women know, or atleast till very late in the relationship. I can’t stand someone who is attracted to me for the wrong reasons yuck!

Hey fly dude, if you do fly allot like me, you should meet me at the Excalibur this weekend in Vegas, and I’ll show you how rob drunken people blind at the poker tables.

Tmac

May 13th, 2009
4:12 pm

Staceye, who likes to be turned down :)

Whats funny is your line of defense for everything you do is ”cause that is what Stacey believes’ while at the same time beating up people for questioning or doubting what you believe. Can it be because that is what people believe ????

LIONESS-- Almost KILLED a Coworker!

May 13th, 2009
4:13 pm

I don’t this Tmac is the REAL Tmac..

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
4:14 pm

@Kimmie Thanks for the new name..lol..you ladies in here are on point also!!
@Sexy..I’m glad you dont share your toys..lol
@Staceye..It is getting warmer out
@my2cents..our 10 cents..lol

You all keep a smile on my face in here.

Foots

May 13th, 2009
4:15 pm

And abc, it was kinda funny the way you called out Fly Guy for being peeved about the SAME EXACT question that he wants to ask beautiful, successful women as evidenced by his blog.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 13th, 2009
4:16 pm

TMAC…people can believe what they like…just allow me to believe what I’d like without the bloody questions and the fake azz Dr. Phil diagnosis!

Raqi...38 Days to ML

May 13th, 2009
4:16 pm

Cougar I am doing fine. Thanks for asking.

I have just been online trying to find a crib. PoshTots has some nice ones but I want to actually see what we are getting before we buy it. And I have been trying to find the best deal on cruises sailing in December.

Tmac

May 13th, 2009
4:17 pm

I dont know anyone who finds any logic on spending so much time on relationship blog despite the fact that one has no interest in a relationship and living happily ever after being single. Yea, its just you Stacey, and yea, I am mad you turn me down but its makes no sense.

-W8 (Mr Pecan Man Inna Suit)

May 13th, 2009
4:17 pm