Today’s guest blogger is a buddy of mine, “The Fly Guy“. When he isn’t jet setting to Los Angeles or New York interviewing celebrities, the man actually finds the time to date! Check out what happened on one of his recent dating misadventures:
I couldn’t have planned our first date any better. The ambiance was nice, the food was outstanding, and our conversation seemed to strike a perfect flirty/innocent balance. In other words, we were really enjoying each other’s company … that is until she asked me “the question.”
“So Mr. Fly Guy, why are you single?”
As the words left her lips, my body began to cringe—almost in the same way that one would cringe if they heard fingernails scrapping across a chalkboard, or Paula Abdul singing the acappella version of “Opposites Attract.”
Now some may wonder why I would be so up in arms about such an innocent question. After all, she was probably just asking as a way to express interest, right? Maybe.
At face value, I have no problem with her inquiry. But it’s the underlying question that needs to be addressed. What she really wanted to ask was, “So what’s wrong with you? There aren’t many good men out here, so you must be crazy, married, or a combination of both.” And I guess she had every right to ask whatever she wanted, but let’s be serious for a moment. What did she really expect me to say?
“I’m single because I was locked up for two years after beating up my girlfriend for giving me four incurable STDs and bad credit.”
I wonder if that was the answer she was searching for?
In all honesty, I just haven’t met the woman who has moved my heart to the point of wanting to give my all long term. Short of that, I’m not interested in wasting anyone’s time with discussions of settling down if my heart isn’t genuinely there. I’m not an escaped felon, nor am I a guy who secretly runs the Color Me Badd Fan Club (that might actually be less forgivable than a criminal record.) I’m just a guy who’s comfortable in my own skin, and who’s perfectly fine with being single until the right woman comes along.
So to the women of my future; the next time we’re out on a date, and you feel the burning desire to ask me “so why are you single,” just know that there are far better ways to get to know more about me than trying to uncover what brought me to this moment in time with you. Just know that I’m here, and I’m focused on us enjoying our time together. Why can’t you do the same?
I think we’ve all been there before, Fly Guy! It’s interesting how a single man who seems to have it together is questioned on why he isn’t in a relationship. Ladies, do you ask this question when you meet men?
I get asked this annoying question by co-workers. What is it that they want to hear, exactly? Has anyone ever asked you “the question” on a date? How do you handle the question about your single status?
Have you ever been hanging out somewhere or on a date and was asked really outrageous or random questions? What did you do?