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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

The Question

Today’s guest blogger is a buddy of mine, “The Fly Guy“. When he isn’t jet setting to Los Angeles or New York interviewing celebrities, the man actually finds the time to date! Check out what happened on one of his recent dating misadventures:

I couldn’t have planned our first date any better. The ambiance was nice, the food was outstanding, and our conversation seemed to strike a perfect flirty/innocent balance. In other words, we were really enjoying each other’s company … that is until she asked me “the question.”

“So Mr. Fly Guy, why are you single?”

As the words left her lips, my body began to cringe—almost in the same way that one would cringe if they heard fingernails scrapping across a chalkboard, or Paula Abdul singing the acappella version of “Opposites Attract.”

Now some may wonder why I would be so up in arms about such an innocent question. After all, she was probably just asking as a way to express interest, right? Maybe.

At face value, I have no problem with her inquiry. But it’s the underlying question that needs to be addressed. What she really wanted to ask was, “So what’s wrong with you? There aren’t many good men out here, so you must be crazy, married, or a combination of both.” And I guess she had every right to ask whatever she wanted, but let’s be serious for a moment. What did she really expect me to say?

“I’m single because I was locked up for two years after beating up my girlfriend for giving me four incurable STDs and bad credit.”

I wonder if that was the answer she was searching for?

In all honesty, I just haven’t met the woman who has moved my heart to the point of wanting to give my all long term. Short of that, I’m not interested in wasting anyone’s time with discussions of settling down if my heart isn’t genuinely there. I’m not an escaped felon, nor am I a guy who secretly runs the Color Me Badd Fan Club (that might actually be less forgivable than a criminal record.) I’m just a guy who’s comfortable in my own skin, and who’s perfectly fine with being single until the right woman comes along.

So to the women of my future; the next time we’re out on a date, and you feel the burning desire to ask me “so why are you single,” just know that there are far better ways to get to know more about me than trying to uncover what brought me to this moment in time with you. Just know that I’m here, and I’m focused on us enjoying our time together. Why can’t you do the same?

I think we’ve all been there before, Fly Guy!  It’s interesting how a single man who seems to have it together is questioned on why he isn’t in a relationship. Ladies, do you ask this question when you meet men?

I get asked this annoying question by co-workers. What is it that they want to hear, exactly? Has anyone ever asked you “the question” on a date? How do you handle the question about your single status?

Have you ever been hanging out somewhere or on a date and was asked really outrageous or random questions? What did you do?

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

368 comments Add your comment

East Point's Own

May 13th, 2009
2:32 pm

Melo there are a gazillion questions to ask someone how do you know which to ask to screen a person out? I mean I would never think to ask a chick ” so do you believe that you are single til you are married?” But it came out in a conversation all by itself. When you ask a question a person can answer how they want to… when a person speaks freely 9 times out of 10 they are telling you how they feel/think unless they are a conpulsive liar and they can’t help but to lie all the time… LoL

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 13th, 2009
2:33 pm

Tazz, done. There so cheap here its ridiculous. I wont tell you the price though because I want you to think I spent alot. (The Truth now standing in his big baller pose)

Send me a mailing addie and your size.

Kimmie poo poo. i wanted to take you my love puppet but didnt think you’d like it. you know you can get a little HOOD. I’ll rent a video and watch one with you. Smooches my little lolli pop.

Btw, its cheaper to buy a tux than rent one. Jos A Banks has a nice one and you can get the whole set for little of nothing. Something else I want to do is go ballroom dancing but I have to learn how first. Wouldnt want to go out there moonwalking. I could wear the tux there too. I just bought a dinner jacket about 8 months before I left. First chick i cook for when i get back im throwing it on.

Sassy Me....Oochey walley,walley...oochey bang,bang :-)

May 13th, 2009
2:33 pm

Tmac- Going hard huh? Interesting..

LIONESS aint he girl? :) The baby tryin’ leave him alone ’cause I know Staceye ’bout to rip him a nice, new one.

Cougar if you comin’ for me please be gentle….nah never mind I need to be seen….I’ve been a naughty girl daddy ;)

Kym-It's Like That And That's The Way It Is!

May 13th, 2009
2:34 pm

People have to practice leave no trace camping. They act like they are on a picnic sometimes when really you can’t leave food and stuff lying around. They have poles for you to hoist your trash on and trash cans with steel lids to keep the critters out.

LIONESS- Wondering While Chewing Gum

May 13th, 2009
2:36 pm

EPO- We may be in a class by ourselves..

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 13th, 2009
2:36 pm

East Point's Own

May 13th, 2009
2:37 pm

hmmmm According to a USA newspaper website Iceland, Sweded, Norway, France, Denmark, and the UK all have a higher rate of births to single mothers than the US (40%)… hmmmm….

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
2:37 pm

@TMAC – Kick rocks with that 230p post. Everybody’s facts ain’t the same.

Poppa Grande

May 13th, 2009
2:37 pm

Kym

One foolish chick saw bears cubs and made an attempt to pet them…..(you know what happened next)…lol

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
2:38 pm

EPO- We may be in a class by ourselves..

Lioness – I’m in that class with you. It’s all really not hard to understand either!LOL!!

East Point's Own

May 13th, 2009
2:39 pm

LIONESS Maybe so… hey I am a LION… LOL I went to Westlake High & mascot = Lions

LIONESS- Wondering While Chewing Gum

May 13th, 2009
2:42 pm

Kimmie- ;)

EPO- Oh ok.. I am a Leo :)

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 13th, 2009
2:42 pm

I have got to get something off my chest. Monday the blog was about whether a gal should reveal her past to her new serious SO. Ever since then something has been running thru my head that I know I am going to regret mentioning. It was this:

“She ain’t got no cherry,
but that ain’t no sin
she’s still go the box
that the cherry came in!”

From (drumroll please) Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts

That has been running thru my head ever since Monday. LOL Sorry!!!

Sassy Me....Oochey walley,walley...oochey bang,bang :-)

May 13th, 2009
2:43 pm

if you are woman, 35+, no baby, not divorced, not a widow, full functioning health,
1. you dying for a companionship
2. you are in denial in public and do it forcfully
3. the older you get, the worest it gets you being defensive

Tmac pump the brakes ’cause you’re speeding in a lane I don’t think you really want to be in bruh. What makes you think that women who fit that criteria you just listed are dying for companioship? Are YOU still still single at almost 30?…..WHY? As it was stated earlier it’s all about choices and the mindset…if you wanna get married and have that mindset then push on BUT if you don’t and that’s what you choose then do you. There are some women desperate to get married but we’re not all like that. Get it. You new to this blog but don’t get your azz busted. Better yet, I think you need to suit up an dput on your blog vest and duck ’cause it’s comin’ :twisted:

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 13th, 2009
2:44 pm

got not go typo

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 13th, 2009
2:44 pm

Kym, for some reason your posts are coming in garbled. Dam kuwaiti internet. 2 towelhaeds splicing wires together. If you can read this enjoy your kundle and send me a smoke signal when you get it.

Tmac, why cant she just enjoy being single? it is possible. Not everyone is made for relationships and some folks just want to spend time alone. Btw, take shelter because a storms a comin. LOL

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
2:49 pm

Truth – Why you igging me again! I said I wanted to go to the opera witchu!LOL!!

By the way, we’re testing for orange senior this Saturday. Things been going slow, but still going!

Melo

May 13th, 2009
2:49 pm

I would never think to ask a chick ” so do you believe that you are single til you are married?”

I neva asked those qstions when dating…that wld by implication mean the chick was a keeper.I was the blood hound basically,alwayz went in for blood untill i saw smething serious about the girl then i wld upgrade her status.
I got married by accident :lol: The girl found ME!! My people said,”keep her”.
I concured. :grin:

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 13th, 2009
2:50 pm

TRUTH…my God have you not seen what happens to you when you get drunk in a foreign country? Check out my Facebook and see my very on PSA at to why NOT to do that! :lol: I have never been drunk in my life except that one time in Mexico. So screw band camp…I have to say, “and this one time…in Mexico… :lol:

TMAC…cause it’s fun to hear everybody’s thoughts! :lol:

Blow Me

May 13th, 2009
2:51 pm

I got the Chrisette Michelle cd…but I am not FULLY involved just yet. I love her single though. Ciara cd plain out sucks!

Tmac

May 13th, 2009
2:52 pm

aight cyber bullies,

I said what I said and I am standing by it….

Sassy Me….Oochey—–first you need to READ before YOU react. I said 35++ and you try to use my age which is far from 35++ as example to discredit what I have to say. NOT RIGHT.

AGAIN I STAND BY MY COMMENT, IF YOU QUALIFY ON WHAT I SAID, YOU CAN READ IT HERE ON THIS BLOG(TAKING BREAK FROM CUPIC.COM OR EHARMONEY), THAT IS WHO YOU ARE……admit it. No amount of word can give you a shield in who you are…

Sassy Me....Oochey walley,walley...oochey bang,bang :-)

May 13th, 2009
2:54 pm

Tmac, why cant she just enjoy being single? it is possible. Not everyone is made for relationships and some folks just want to spend time alone. Btw, take shelter because a storms a comin.

Yeah fool…..what Truthsaid……you know you just phucked up right?

LIONESS- Wondering While Chewing Gum

May 13th, 2009
2:55 pm

Is this the SAME Tmac that never dated a black girl? If so, WOW! You have grown up REALLY quickly. Must have invested in an upgraded version of the blog vest..

Tmac

May 13th, 2009
2:56 pm

Staceye,

dont you have a hobby, like politics, sport, travel, miniature, I dunno..something. ’cause there is a blog for any topic of interest on like these days and I see no ‘FUN’ in hearding peoples thought of something I AM NOT INTERESTED….

abc

May 13th, 2009
2:59 pm

Raqi, Premier had been on the way out for a long time. Their business was largely based on being the ‘Official Cruise Line of Disney World’ but when Disney built their own ships, that left the Big Red Boats out, and they were doomed — it was just a matter of time. Their ships were pretty old, one of them was a classic liner that wound up getting scrapped in India, a darn shame, it was the old Eugenio C/Edinburgh Castle/Big Red Boat II. Scrapping the classics is terribly saddening to me, I love the big beautiful boats so. Check the links:

http://www.ssmaritime.com/brb-eugeniocosta2.jpg
http://www.ssmaritime.com/brb-edcastle3.jpg
http://www.ssmaritime.com/brb1sml.jpg
http://www.ssmaritime.com/brb-alang-kaushal-trivedi.jpg

I worked on a Big Red Boat, S/S Atlantic, in the Carribean. Premier sold it about a year before their bankruptcy, and it’s still in service, on the Genoa – Durban South Africa run. It got attacked by the Somalian pirates a few weeks ago, it’s now named MSC Melody. Interesting to see it in the news, the old girl is still afloat.

Melo

May 13th, 2009
2:59 pm

Yeah,TMAC,i defend ur right to say what u wanna say as long as u defend ur logic!

In this joint, u can either be a lurker on some topics,like some here do,jelly up and be politically correct or dish it up raw,upset some folks but insist on that alone and have ur own identity.
I support the latter.

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
3:01 pm

For the record, TMAC, your 230p did not anger or offend me. I just found it to be an example of LIMITED THINKING – since you seem to rather fond of typing in ALL CAPS.

I certainly respect your right to your opinion – however limited and uninformed it may be. After all, opinions are quite like @ssholes. Everyone either has one or is one.

Leggs

May 13th, 2009
3:03 pm

@Tmac, this is what you said “Like Melo says,

if you are woman, 35+, no baby, not divorced, not a widow, full functioning health”! Someone’s always trying to backpedal on this street!

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 13th, 2009
3:03 pm

I like the 35+ plus woman crowd, with a child but thats not mandatory. She knows what she wants who she is and is determined..plus I know plenty of women 35+ who had kids and look all of 28..my advice to you guys, Do not sleep on the 35+ women..

Sassy Me....Oochey wally,wally...oochey bang,bang :-)

May 13th, 2009
3:03 pm

Tmac are for phuckin’ real dude? Nucca don’t come for me dude ‘caue you won’t like it. Imma let you use your get outta jail free card on this one. I’m not trying to use your age for anything…how stupid is that? Did I lie?…you are almost 30 and as single as the day is long so that’s why I asked YOU the same question….does that make you desperate or abnormal ’cause you’re not booed up or married with children….HELLZ NAW AND IT’S THE SAME WITH WOMEN YOU FOOL! That was my point. That blanket azz bullshyt you posted does not cover all women. AND IF YOU GONNA TRY TO GO OFF ON THIS BLOG LEARN HOW TO SPELL!!! GREEN AZZ PHUCK BOY…..WOOSAH.

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 13th, 2009
3:05 pm

Well that’s just not attractive Sassy..lol

LIONESS- Wondering If Everyone Is Reading the Same Comments

May 13th, 2009
3:06 pm

LIONESS- Wondering while eating an Apple..

May 13th, 2009
3:08 pm

Green Azz Phuck Boy.. WOW!! That is a FIRST! LMAO!

Melo

May 13th, 2009
3:08 pm

TMAC..???.u there buddy?? I dont see the light on,u sleeping?

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
3:09 pm

Truth – I knew that about renting vs buying tux thing, I was trying to be funny! And you betta be puttin on dat dinna jacket fo ME!LOL!!

Seriously, if you got a nice body, a fitted, European cut tux like the one Daniel Craig wears in the latest Bond movies is the way to go. Hot!!!

Sybil

May 13th, 2009
3:10 pm

You ever been in line at Wendy’s and the chick in front of you just starts going off on the cashier?

CRAZY CHICK: NO YOU DID NOT JUST GIVE ME THREE PACKS OF KETCHUP? BYYYTCH I TOLD YOU I WANTED FOUR!!!

You are standing there looking like whatdah#ll?

That’s me. Right now.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 13th, 2009
3:10 pm

The Truth Man, if you get me the Neon Deion throwback I will propose to you.

with full knowledge that you will say no ;-)

Kym-It's Like That And That's The Way It Is!

May 13th, 2009
3:12 pm

@Truth of Arabia.. oh you heard me just fine..put play dumb if you want too. Talking about you hard. You blubbered like a baby watching Steel Magnolias(twice). But that’s alright you can buy me another present. I need four steeler jerseys Two Troy P. and two Hines Ward.

Leggs

May 13th, 2009
3:13 pm

If you don’t have a prenup stating that Tazzee and he says yes, you’re stuck w/him.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 13th, 2009
3:14 pm

Leggs – proposal with prenup in hand, that’s a good one :lol:

LIONESS- Wondering while eating an Apple..

May 13th, 2009
3:15 pm

Sybil- You in da hood?

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 13th, 2009
3:15 pm

@kimmie the European cuts are nice check this guy out..I love his styles ozwald boateng

Tmac

May 13th, 2009
3:15 pm

Melo- I am here laughing at these angry women hahaha….

Sassy Me….Oochey—I still stand by my comment…
SexyCool….you are angry, stop lying :) and me is 219 lb not 230 lb… get it….

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 13th, 2009
3:18 pm

Sybil-lol its the worst when that happens..or just when a Lady just goes off the handle with a filthy mouth

Sassy Me....Oochey wally,wally...oochey bang,bang :-)

May 13th, 2009
3:19 pm

My bad W8 My “inner Ike” is now back where he needs to be….all is good. Y’all have a good afternoon and I’ll read you tomorrow…..Code 10…man down…holla!!

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
3:20 pm

So, you weigh 219 pounds and you’re 5′6″. How is that supposed to impress anybody? lol

Raqi...38 Days to ML

May 13th, 2009
3:20 pm

Catchy tunes from the old days

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir

Big Mac, Filet of Fish, Quarter Pounder, French Fries Icy Coke, Thick Shakes, Sundaes and Apple Pies!

I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, never let you forget you’re a man?

Coke adds life and everybody wants a little life

My bologna has a first name its o-s-c-a-r
Mmy bologna has a secong name its ma-y-e-r
I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why i’ll
saaaaaay ’cause oscar mayer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a

Sassy Me....Oochey wally,wally...oochey bang,bang :-)

May 13th, 2009
3:20 pm

Stand on it Tmac…or else you’ll fall for anything. Noticed you spelled the words right,too….good boy :)

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
3:21 pm

He has single handedly recreated and brought new meaning to the mens wear collections as evidenced by suits worn by Will smith, Jamie Fox, Samuel L. Jackson and Tom Cruise.

W8 – Ozwald Boateng – Yes siree!! HOT!!!

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 13th, 2009
3:27 pm

Kym, I didnt blubber over Steel magnolias. I got a paper cut opening an envelope and it got the best of me. Sure it happened around the time that the movie was on but thats just a coincidence.

Tazz, be careful I may say yes to you then your stuck with me. How do you feel about dogs? LMAO

Kimmie, athletic body? Does my 44 inch waist and 60 in chest turn you on. If so your gonna be screaming when you see me in my girdle with thee built in tummy control. HHHHHHooootttttt.