accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

The Question

Today’s guest blogger is a buddy of mine, “The Fly Guy“. When he isn’t jet setting to Los Angeles or New York interviewing celebrities, the man actually finds the time to date! Check out what happened on one of his recent dating misadventures:

I couldn’t have planned our first date any better. The ambiance was nice, the food was outstanding, and our conversation seemed to strike a perfect flirty/innocent balance. In other words, we were really enjoying each other’s company … that is until she asked me “the question.”

“So Mr. Fly Guy, why are you single?”

As the words left her lips, my body began to cringe—almost in the same way that one would cringe if they heard fingernails scrapping across a chalkboard, or Paula Abdul singing the acappella version of “Opposites Attract.”

Now some may wonder why I would be so up in arms about such an innocent question. After all, she was probably just asking as a way to express interest, right? Maybe.

At face value, I have no problem with her inquiry. But it’s the underlying question that needs to be addressed. What she really wanted to ask was, “So what’s wrong with you? There aren’t many good men out here, so you must be crazy, married, or a combination of both.” And I guess she had every right to ask whatever she wanted, but let’s be serious for a moment. What did she really expect me to say?

“I’m single because I was locked up for two years after beating up my girlfriend for giving me four incurable STDs and bad credit.”

I wonder if that was the answer she was searching for?

In all honesty, I just haven’t met the woman who has moved my heart to the point of wanting to give my all long term. Short of that, I’m not interested in wasting anyone’s time with discussions of settling down if my heart isn’t genuinely there. I’m not an escaped felon, nor am I a guy who secretly runs the Color Me Badd Fan Club (that might actually be less forgivable than a criminal record.) I’m just a guy who’s comfortable in my own skin, and who’s perfectly fine with being single until the right woman comes along.

So to the women of my future; the next time we’re out on a date, and you feel the burning desire to ask me “so why are you single,” just know that there are far better ways to get to know more about me than trying to uncover what brought me to this moment in time with you. Just know that I’m here, and I’m focused on us enjoying our time together. Why can’t you do the same?

I think we’ve all been there before, Fly Guy!  It’s interesting how a single man who seems to have it together is questioned on why he isn’t in a relationship. Ladies, do you ask this question when you meet men?

I get asked this annoying question by co-workers. What is it that they want to hear, exactly? Has anyone ever asked you “the question” on a date? How do you handle the question about your single status?

Have you ever been hanging out somewhere or on a date and was asked really outrageous or random questions? What did you do?

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

368 comments Add your comment

ImAPeach404

May 13th, 2009
8:23 am

Morning all

FLY GUY I hope you answered her question by saying just what you posted here. I don’t think that question insinuates “Whats wrong with you?” I think she wants to know WHY? ARE? YOU? SINGLE? I think it’s innocent enough. I’ve asked that question – ONLY after it being asked of me – but I do so because I want to know if you’re single by choice? Did you and your girl just break up last week and now you’re on the rebound? You’re enjoying being single and all that Atlanta has to offer? I mean… why ARE you single?

When I’m asked this question, my answer is usually “Because I live in Atlanta”

Kym-It's Like That And That's The Way It Is!

May 13th, 2009
8:27 am

Good Morning All,

Yes I have asked the question, If you ask me first then I am going to ask you back. Fly Guy please stop whinning because some woman ask you a question you most likely were trying to creatively figure out how to ask yourself. Foolishness! Yes the question is annoying and there are creative ways to answer but why bother?

Kym why are you single? Answer: Why you wanna know? That way you cut out all the bs and get to the meat.

Pardon the Interruption.. but don’t you think there should be alot of questions asked on a date? I mean if you want to cut through the representive why not just ask what you wanna know and if you don’t like the answers you can move on. Talk before the date. Talk on the date. That way you can decide if you wanna talk after the date.

I am a single parent and I have been asked by men:
So how is your relationship with your son’s father?
So where is your son’s father?
So do you and your son’s father get along?

The intent for asking is to see if my son’s father and I are still kicking it or if he is going to come out of the woodwork like a crazed ax murder in the bushes. The answer to all three questions is ..He is deceased. but if I am feeling smartazz I might say to him..He is dead but we talk often. Moronic questions deserve moronic answers.

DasVenus

May 13th, 2009
8:39 am

wassup beautiful ppl!

FlyGuy, my standard is to let’em know upfront that no one has had the kahunas to swallow my mess for very long and then i rattle off my flaws in short order….. all with a smile. :)

PSA – chrisette michele’s epiphany is so-so…. there are some slamming songs but then there are others that either neyo had too say, or not enough.

**theTruth** you still harassing the ninjas?? (i know you are… i guess my question is ‘how badly’)

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 13th, 2009
8:41 am

Personally, I think all questions are fair game. Sometimes it is not the answer that is really being sought, but how one handles difficult questions, i.e., evasive, straight forward, nervous, comfortable… I think a lot of questions are addressing the “transparency” of an individual. I am pretty much totally candid and transparent, and have few if any secrets. Most of the time the lady I am with senses that I am comfortable in my skin and then she relaxes and is hopefully transparent too.

I guess what I am saying is that sometimes there might be a genuine “twenty questions” climate, but often it is just making conversation and trying to demonstrate interest. I would rather have someone ask me questions too, instead of spending the entire evening trying to “sell themselves” or worse, me doing the same. Don’t try to overanalyze things.

LIONESS

May 13th, 2009
8:49 am

Good Morning All :)
I totally agree with what fly guy said–> just know that there are far better ways to get to know more about me than trying to uncover what brought me to this moment in time with you. Just know that I’m here, and I’m focused on us enjoying our time together. Why can’t you do the same?..
The first date with someone is to have fun.. I can’t stand when an individual ask me stupid questions. Better yet, I can’t stand to be questioned as if I am being interrogated! Ask all the questions during the convo BEFORE the date.. Why on the date?

mytw♥cents

May 13th, 2009
8:50 am

Men- They’re so TENDER! And as often evidenced here on Lollipop Lane, they’re tender about the same BS they try to subject us to… Perhaps we’re not supposed put 2 and 2 together, though? Some days and times, y’all want the sugarcoat, the other days and times y’all want us to get to the point so you can finish watching the same highlights you’ve been watching on ESPN for the last 3 hours.

Lucky Bast@rds… If women could control a.)their horniness b.)nurturing instincts or both, y’all would be in some big trouble!

Random questions? WD I’ll ask one (Have you and Fly Guy ever tried to date? I always think you’d be a good match.) And here’s my all time least favorite…

Fool: Why don’t you have any kids, .02?
.02: I haven’t been tryna have kids, Fool.
Fool: You said you’re 33 – you must not want any kids, .02…
.02: I’d love to have kids. Would love a husband/committed relationship first, tho, Fool.
Fool: Hmmph. So you just don’t like kids, .02?
.02: So you’re really just that much of a fool, Fool?

Raqi...38 Days to ML

May 13th, 2009
8:51 am

IMO although I know it gets annoying overtime, it is a perfectly good question. However I love the answer about not finding the one yet. That is a good answer.

And then some people are just not interested in being married or coupled up. So if that’s that case one should say so. Having that questioned asked to you is a good way to find out what the asker is looking for in being there in the first place without you having to ask.

But it could also be true that something is wrong. Or not right. Or not appealing. Or not sticking.

Kym-It's Like That And That's The Way It Is!

May 13th, 2009
8:54 am

LOL@ Twocent.. Foolishness!!

ImAPeach404

May 13th, 2009
8:54 am

LOL @ KYM!!!! He’s dead but we talk often, lol.

I guess what I am saying is that sometimes there might be a genuine “twenty questions” climate, but often it is just making conversation and trying to demonstrate interest.

RANDYT – I discovered last night that the difference between my perception of “making conversation” and “asking too many d@mn questions” is my level of interest in that person…

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 13th, 2009
8:57 am

ImAPeach404 … LOL Good Point.

I think that another thing to think about is that often the questions reveal as much about the person asking the question as the one being asked.

DasVenus

May 13th, 2009
9:15 am

i agree RandyT…. the questions are because they want to know how you deal with ‘questions’. i am a pretty upfront chick, so how i answer (no matter what i say) reveals that. which is what they really want to know anyway. and in the case of .02’s fool… there are some men that are just trynna make conversation and running down the same questions they ask all the chicks… they arent personal, the obvious is too much for them. they have a playbook and looking to bide their time to the bed. they get the scruffed up version of why i am not in a relationship…. they playin games, i can play too.

Raqi...38 Days to ML

May 13th, 2009
9:18 am

So TwoLincolns what is it about kids you don’t like?

LOL Just kidding.

I-85

May 13th, 2009
9:18 am

It only makes sense that after a certain age you should be married and or at least have been in a serious relationship. If you are in mid to late 30s and you are single then we got to know why. All things been normal I trust and believe u will be with someone. So go ahead and answer the question. You might be setting unrealistic standards.

Wise Diva

May 13th, 2009
9:26 am

Good Morning!

LOL @ ImaPeach, I’m going to use that one, “because I live in Atlanta” ha, classic!

Mytwocents, really? me and Fly Guy? I don’t know, we are too much alike. It’s funny how we argue and clown each other because we have the exact same sarcasm/wit/smart mouth

Sassy Me....Oochey walley,walley...oochey bang,bang:-)

May 13th, 2009
9:26 am

Enter your comments here

Kym-It's Like That And That's The Way It Is!

May 13th, 2009
9:28 am

Off the Wall Questions-For Amusement and Fun

Is one of your toes longer than the other?

How often do you spank the monkey(masturbate)?

So did your last girlfriend have a problem with your unibrow?

Boy that’s alot of makeup? Are you practicing to be a clown?

Do you really think pork is the other white meat?

Do fart when you sneeze?

Are you lactose intolerant?

Professor

May 13th, 2009
9:29 am

Happy Hump Day Everyone!

Fly Guy, I have found myself a bit annoyed with this question a time or two. I guess I always thought that it was the “professor” and “business executive” in me that was the problem, so I always thought it was just I being annoyed.

For some reason that question changes the natural flow of the conversation and I feel like I am on a job interview or a “horse and pony show.” On a first date I like for things to stay light and natural, if the conversation turns heavy naturally that is fine, but I do not want to disclose the problems of my past (the reason I am single) on the first date with that question. Heck, I will probably never discuss those issues because I never look in the rear-view mirror and talk about my old relationships. So if I respond to the question truthfully and say that my ex was a liar and a cheat than I will be considered “angry.” Or if I stated that my ex was unable to achieve any financial or career goals, which made dating or having dinner impossible due to finances I am, consider the “over achieving career oriented bloodsucking bytch.” How about if I disclosed the one with Peter Pan syndrome and he never grew up, which made having a relationship with a 35 year old man with a 12 year old mind impossible…you get my drift I will be consider a “trying to be perfect no fun having want-to-be shrink.”

DasVenus- I love all of the ballads chrisette michele’s epiphany…I think #12 is my favorite.

NY2GA, Inc.

May 13th, 2009
9:30 am

Why are you still single?

I’m tripping off this post because guys ask women this question QUITE often. Even on this blog, as soon as woman exhibits some type of standard or moral base, some dudes ask the burning question “Are you single?” or “Do you have a man?”

Well, guess what fellas, some of us ladies are tired of answering that sh?t too. In most cases our answer will be the same as yours in that we haven’t found the one (just yet). So, I think what I’m going to do is print a copy of Flyguy’s response. The next time a dude asks me that question again, I’m going to give him the piece of paper and say my response is what HE said.

Good day.

Sassy Me....Oochey walley,walley...oochey bang,bang :-)

May 13th, 2009
9:33 am

Morning blog fam

I think we’ve all been there before, Fly Guy! It’s interesting how a single man who seems to have it together is questioned on why he isn’t in a relationship. Ladies, do you ask this question when you meet men?

First off no I don’t ask men that question b/c I get asked the very same enough to the point of irritation….and besides if a man/woman wanted to divulge that info then they would do so on their own volition.

abc

May 13th, 2009
9:39 am

I suppose you could have said, “Just lucky, I guess”.

Or you could have referred her to your own blog about the topic, to quote: When I run into beautiful, successful people who just happen to be single, it always fascinates me (hey, I study love for a living.) So I often find myself wondering, “Why in the world are they single?” As I delve deeper into the psychology behind it all, the answers I get range from, “Well I’m way too focused right now,” all the way to “I can’t trust anyone with my money.”

http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2007/04/why-i%E2%80%99m-single/

That certainly seems at odds what you’re saying about the topic today, Fly. I presume you jet-set around interviewing people for your blog. Another love blogging marketing tie-in, WD? Are these auditions for them, or something?

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 13th, 2009
9:39 am

Morning All!

I get the question often – and my response has been ‘because no one has ever asked me to marry them’ :lol: Yes, I’m tired of answering the question. If I express that I’ve never met a man that I wanted to marry – then they make comments about my standards being too high. So I put it back on the male gender with my response.

MyTwo – I hate the roundabout with the kids question. I get that quite frequently and some folks just can’t seem to understand the concept of “I’m not, nor have I ever been married so I don’t have any kids”

Kym-It's Like That And That's The Way It Is!

May 13th, 2009
9:42 am

LMAO@ abc PI..Call him out!!! Busted Fly Guy Busted big time.

Shows over folks nothing to see here.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 13th, 2009
9:44 am

abc Dang man! Give Wise Diva a break, she’s trying to keep us entertained while holding down the blog for three weeks in a row. It makes perfect sense to give the guest bloggers a chance to ‘market’ their own spots.

Never seen a person be interviewed about a book that wasn’t allowed to give the title of their book, or someone talk about their area of expertise without the opportunity to give out their personal website.

said while I’m also wondering if these are auditions… ;-)

ImAPeach404

May 13th, 2009
9:47 am

… blog poll…

How many people get asked this question during the INITIAL conversation? I know I do. I don’t think this question has ever been asked on a first date… this question is normally asked before numbers are even exchanged. Well… that’s my experience anyway.

WISE – Yea, use that. It usually makes them laugh… but not that it’s so hilarious, but because they already know what you’re getting at!
PROFESSOR – if you are asked this, try to turn it into a positive response instead of negative. Don’t even mention the men, just note how you’re looking for X, Y, Z and you haven’t met anyone with those qualities. And say it with a smile :)

Rell - hollerin @ benchs

May 13th, 2009
9:49 am

not to rehash old ish but i found this quote interesting

woman are perfectly well aware that the more they seem to obey. The more they rule- Jules Michelet

on topic – the why are u single question is idle nervous chatter..when anyone ask that it screams of low self esteem like they cant believe they are with someon so wonderful….

ImAPeach404

May 13th, 2009
9:51 am

Dang ABC – that blog was posted in 2007.
You were really on a mission with that post, eh?

abc

May 13th, 2009
9:51 am

Fly’s own blog says the opposite of what he says here; Ms Reid’s enterprise endorses having an alpha personality, referring to herself as ‘Alphanista’, but tells chicks here to be submissive. I’m left shaking my head a bit at the contradictions. Why say one thing on their own blogs, and something entirely different here?

Maybe the auditionees are paying for the space. Who knows. Seems odd, though.

Sassy Me....Oochey walley,walley...oochey bang,bang :-)

May 13th, 2009
9:52 am

I hate the roundabout with the kids question. I get that quite frequently and some folks just can’t seem to understand the concept of “I’m not, nor have I ever been married so I don’t have any kids”

Taz I get that alot too and I HATE it. It usually goes in this order 1. How old are you?…which is IMMEDIATELY followed by 2. How many kids you got?…..then I get the
3. You got a man?….girl what you doin’ single? I let them know that I don’t have any kids b/c I’m not married and refuse to be a “baby mama”. I really wish people would understand that there is no written rule that says by a certain age you SHOULD either be in a serious relationship or married with some chirren runnin’ round b/c it just aint so….just aint.

DasVenus

May 13th, 2009
9:53 am

Professor – - yea chrisette kept it real in the ballads. i love the lyrics to im ok. great way to round out the entire cd. i agree with what the chicago tribune had to say on it: “Epiphany is a quiet pleasure that unfolds upon repeated listening”.

Tmac

May 13th, 2009
9:54 am

You are good looking, you got every freakin thing in life going really good, you are every gals dream but you are 29 and single, you are real nice to be around but why are you single????

/* my reaction is like a deer infront of headlight */ ahhhm…aaa ..what? I dunno…but aaa……..

abc

May 13th, 2009
9:54 am

re: on a mission: not really. That article is linked on his front page.

Kimberly

May 13th, 2009
9:57 am

Sounds like she triggered something you’d rather not face about yourself. You made many assumptions about what she really must have wanted to ask. Did you ask her for clarification or did you sit there projecting assumptions and judgements? What if you had replied with the clear and honest answer given in the post and simply continued enjoying the innocent flirty vibe? Relax. You won’t recognize the woman you want to be with if she’s buried under all your projections.

Eileen

May 13th, 2009
9:59 am

Why I’m single?… Hell, I was married for twenty hundred years…You sure you got that much time off the rip? Like someone here said… no rear-viewing.

Lessons of my past make me who you meet today like it or not… your choice. To be honest I’m a private person, so I respect privacy and feel like if we’re talking/communicating everything we need to know about each other whether it’s past experience, present reality or future hopes will come out in due time. .

Sassy Me....Oochey walley,walley...oochey bang,bang :-)

May 13th, 2009
9:59 am

I don’t think this question has ever been asked on a first date… this question is normally asked before numbers are even exchanged. Well… that’s my experience anyway.

Peach I do agree with Rell that it’s prolly idle,nervous chatter but shyt lets chat about something else please. That just happened to me on Monday: once as I was leaving work and again about an hour later at Walmart. Maybe there should be some type of refresher course given or somethin’ cause this is ’bout as old as Methuselah.

Professor

May 13th, 2009
10:01 am

ImAPeach404 I was just venting on the post, but I really do keep my response positive. Needless to say I am sick and tired of the question. However, with your consent I would love to use your line…”because I live in Atlanta.”

Since I don’t have kids I always get the kids questions to…you don’t like kids…what are you waiting on…blah blah blah.

Sassy Me....Oochey walley,walley...oochey bang,bang :-)

May 13th, 2009
10:02 am

my reaction is like a deer infront of headlight */ ahhhm…aaa ..what? I dunno…but aaa……..

Tmac LMMAO :) :)

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
10:04 am

Somewhere along the way…THIS question erroneously got the reputation of being a cute question to ask. Whenever I am asked that question, I realize as the attempt to further the conversation………………

Hold up….wait…I was about to go into this whole dissertation about The Question. When really, it ain’t that deep.

If your single, expect the question. Come up with a standard answer for the question. Keep it moving………..unless…..the question makes you uncomfortable because it requires an honesty about yourself that you may not be ready to face. (I jest. I joke. I kid. Kinda)

Three Words Daily – Eat more vegetables.

Raqi...38 Days to ML

May 13th, 2009
10:04 am

LOL abc. Let me ask you, would you be willing to present a topic, including an entire entry written by you, to help WiseDiva keep this thing going?

I have to give her much luv and respect in her efforts because she has hung there thru now 4 co-moderators and she is still holding on. There is only so much she herself can present and only so many ways she can flip the topics.

WiseDiva why don’t you do a week or two of topics personally written by our fellow bloggers? One week for the women and one week for the men. I imagine all you have to do is post them after they have been forwarded to you. Just a thought.

ImAPeach404

May 13th, 2009
10:07 am

SASSY – you know, this question really doesn’t bother me other than the fact that it’s pretty much a kiss of death. Sometimes – if i’m feeling snarky – I’ll say “Well, I’m really not sure but maybe after we date for a while YOU can tell ME”. I like to see what they say…

Melo

May 13th, 2009
10:09 am

There are no bad questions if u meeting a potential long term.Better ask now and get the “lie” and figure out if shes/hes psycho than find out when u are knee deep.
I dont know u,u dont know me and we all adults,way into our 30/40s etc, so whats ur history like other than sexxaul.The way u labor to anser a simple question about why u single tells a whole lot about u.The guy or chick may not want to go further after that.
Thats all.
That qstion is a good ice breaker and a good way to get valuable info about the chick/guy.If he/shes uncomfortable,coy etc about answering the qstion,that means there are issues i mustnt know, i presume.
Last date!!
What fool is gonna meet a fly 30/40sme chick/guy,handsome,pretty etc and think that they fell from heaven on that same day,making them so so,so daaaaaamn, one in a million lucky??? :grin:

ImAPeach404

May 13th, 2009
10:10 am

PROFESSOR – I see. Ok, just trying to offer a little friendly blog advice :) And yes, you and all the blog ladies can use that one. To be honest, It’s probably 80% of the reason…

I have a kid. 14. And I’m done. I’m fairly young but I do not want any more kids. I always get the screw face when this comes up so I feel you ladies pain… but in a different way.

Raqi...38 Days to ML

May 13th, 2009
10:12 am

If you meet someone that is marriage minded they could be asking to see if you are still single because you do not want to get married. Would you rather they ask why are you still single or Do ever want/plan to get married?

Why are you still single seems to be a better way to try to find out.

Are person that is looking to get married or coupled up is more than likely not wanting to waste time with someone who is does not. Ask the question then you can move on.

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 13th, 2009
10:15 am

Good Morning Blog peeps!

This is usually a question that comes up early in the date game because once you are past 30 that seems to be one the typical questions for the thirty and over group! As people who are dating get older we have a tendency to ask a of why questions because you are now consider to be different then the norms of what is going on in our society!

Tazzee: I am getting together my marriage proposal for you! But first I am going to cut my fingernails! :lol:

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
10:20 am

Morning gang

I love and agree with a lot of everyone’s responses. Yes, men ask this all the time and automatically conclude that if you are a certain age you should be wifed & kidded up, and not necessarily in that order. If not, something HAS to be wrong with you! I’m like Sassy, it has always been my intention to do it RIGHT and get the ring first before kids, but I’ve been asked why I don’t have any so many times, more than why I’m not married. I remember first being asked at the ripe age of 22, fresh out of college and riding a Marta bus to my job I had just started because I could not yet afford a car, much less a baby! I also remember when I was about 29/30 going over to one of my best friends house for a bbq. Her sister in law was there and interrogating folks. She asked me if I had a family. I’m like duh, of course I have a family! Then I realized what she was really asking and said no, not yet. She went off with “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, YOU GOTTA GET RID OF THAT CUTE SHAPE ONE DAY!”. I was shocked and totally caught off guard, my mouth was wide open! My friends husband came to my rescue and told her to mind her own business and that I would get husband/kids when I was ready to. I could not believe that chick though!

I just think its a better way to get the question answered than asking it. You can find out thru getting to know the person well if they just got out of a relationship, if they are serious or just out to have fun, etc.

It just occurred to me that my SO is probably the only guy that has not asked me why not married/babied questions! Maybe thats why we get along so well – we both see intelligently eye 2 eye!

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
10:23 am

Um, yeah. so. My first post just fell off into oblivion. Or maybe, it will turn up in an hour or so.

At any rate, I’ll just re-post the three words.

Three Words Daily – Eat more vegetables.

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
10:33 am

@Kimmie – I think it’s a tragedy that so many women seem to accept motherhood as the loss of a “cute shape”. Pregnancy should come with a Snap Back Body kit.

It seems as if some of my classmates that had babies in high school had no problem getting their bodies back at that time. Not so much with those later babies that they had.

The truth of the matter is that if you don’t care of yourself, watch what you eat and get some form of physical activity regularly BEFORE you have a baby, it’s probably really not going to happen AFTER you have a baby. It results in lumpy mommy bodies walking around in mommy jeans.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 13th, 2009
10:34 am

Rethinking this, I realize that I ask a similar question before I even meet most women I date. As I have said before, Internet dating has worked well for me (it is not an exclusive, but most of my dating originates there). I use the emailing to try to get to know someone before I invest time and money in an actual date. What I almost always ask after a few emails is, “what was the path that brought you to here and now in Atlanta”, and then I say “anything you are comfortable sharing at this point”. I am sort of asking okay “why are you single/divorced” but not directly.

I do not date for the sake of dating, and to some degree every date is an “interview” in one way or another. As I gather information and as I give information to the other, we hopefully can begin to determine whether there is any reason to proceed further.

SexyCool

May 13th, 2009
10:36 am

Oh…and so off topic – this summer’s sun dresses are hiding a multitude of sins.

Melo

May 13th, 2009
10:37 am

but I do not want to disclose the problems of my past (the reason I am single) on the first date with that question. Heck, I will probably never discuss those issues because I never look in the rear-view mirror and talk about my old relationships

nervousness,coyness and angst to answer the simple qstion is actually revealing more about ur personality,history,openness or non etc than is there a problem with the qstion.It gives the qstioner options,whether to pursue u further or demote u on the depth chart.
And some folks do lie for the simple reasons that they arent proud of their past.Thats not the qstioner’s problem.
Cut her/him some slack!!!
If I want a smash and grab chic,a sexx buddy etc there are no DEEPER qstions to ask.For what,:grin: other than making sure she got no STD.

kimmie

May 13th, 2009
10:37 am

SCool – Yeah, I think thats a cop-out. My mom had 3 and was still able to wear a size 8/10 up until her death at 57. The best friend I referred to in my post had 5 and she is smaller than she was before the first one!