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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Path of least resistance

Yesterday, author Maryann Reid provided an interesting perspective about the submissive role that some women could take in relationships. Today, I wanted to wrap that discussion up with another interesting concept she discussed in an article, “How to Control Your Relationship through Silence”. I fully admit that the control freak in me was drawn to “control your relationship” part. However, after reading further, I realized that was not the point.

She wrote that she was referring to “women who live in ’silence’ with confidence and a quiet ambition” as it pertains to the submissive role:

You cannot force a man to accept your submission.  He has to be a man secure enough to carry the relationship and would most likely be more experienced than you in this area, whereas, he would not abuse it or overplay his hand.  Too many men think they can handle this.  Who can’t handle a quiet, submissive woman? Any man who asks that is NOT the man to be with in this kind of relationship.

The silence I’m speaking of is not vocal silence.  It’s a silence based on trust.  It’s a silence of the mind, where you are emotionally still from controlling every aspect of the relationship.

Her silence contributes to a sense of security and safety in the relationship for both.  This is not a 50/50 relationship, but two whole parts 100/100.  Their bond is like no other relationship because she is completely owned by him and dominated by him.  Her silence sustains the domination until she stops being silent.

I know some of you have no desire whatsoever in the submissive/dominance concept in relationships. I just think it’s a worthwhile discussion in our modern times because it relates to the traditions that many of us have abandoned. Do you think there is a way to make some of these traditions work in today’s society?

Ladies, have you ever found that silence (not the same as the cold shoulder) is a great way to handle relationship problems? Is it about picking your battles so that when you do speak on an issue, your man actually pays attention because you haven’t nagged and argued about every other little thing?

Guys, you have always said that you are simple creatures, is this part of the same thing? In your experience, do you respond to the “path of least resistance” in a relationship? Are you intrigued by women who use silence as an actual form of communication and submission?

Ladies, Maryann Reid is offering a FREE crash course about How To Be An Alpha-Female with empowering tips via email for the home, bedroom, boardroom and beyond- especially for you!

274 comments Add your comment

Kym

May 12th, 2009
8:27 am

Good Morning All,

Ladies, have you ever found that silence (not the same as the cold shoulder) is a great way to handle relationship problems? Is it about picking your battles so that when you do speak on an issue, your man actually pays attention because you haven’t nagged and argued about every other little thing?

To this concept I say no. Given my parental upbringing. Holding things in and suffering in silence is one of the things I would never do. I tried and it does not work for me. Matter of fact I am not even going to attempt to relate to this “concept”. I know how to pick and choose my battles. Everything is not a mountain and you have to learn to recongize molehills. But no way in the sam hill am I going to sit, or stand, idle by and be the silent minority. Like I said last week good arguments are healthy and keep you regular. Silence will drive you to mental illness.

Raqi...39 Days to ML

May 12th, 2009
8:31 am

Good Morning.

IMO there are two separate issues brought to the table of discussion this morning…

Do you think there is a way to make some of these traditions work in today’s society?

Yes, through acceptance. Accept that these traditions actual hold merit and have been the source of many lasting relationships.

Ladies, have you ever found that silence (not the same as the cold shoulder) is a great way to handle relationship problems?

I have found that you should pick your battles wisely. I am not going to shut for anybody. I have a voice and opinion in the relationship and it will be heard. However I will not nag about tedious crap.

”The silence I’m speaking of is not vocal silence. It’s a silence based on trust. It’s a silence of the mind, where you are emotionally still from controlling every aspect of the relationship. Her silence contributes to a sense of security and safety in the relationship for both.”

Now this ^ silence here I get. Not having to control everything.
Actually having faith and trust in my marido that I can sleep at night knowing he will do right by me and our marriage.

Raqi...39 Days to ML

May 12th, 2009
8:46 am

Safety and security is what I desire. Most women probably desire the same. That is a huge problem these days and quite understandable. If you don’t feel that a man can provide this for you then you have to get it yourself. We want to feel safe and secure. That safety and security is not only emotionally and physically but financially too. So when the man is not providing that in the relationship he forces his woman to get it on her own therefore possible creating that less of a need and/or desire for him.

I cannot think of too many things in this world that I hate more than a nonchalant shiftless man. I don’t mean go out and move Stone Mountain, but you need to actually give a damn about something. Care. Be concerned.

That there provides safety and security in the relationship.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
8:54 am

Forgot this one..

Do you think there is a way to make some of these traditions work in today’s society? I am not trying to make this an us vs them conversation but Raqi you hit on something and that is acceptance. Yes we love to stick the idea that the old ways are the best ways but there has to be some acceptance of the changing times and that relationships like everything else have to evolve.

My auntie always says there is nothing new under the sun..but in terms of relationships I think there is alot of new. In the good ole days as we like to say. Women(black or white) may have work outside the home but it was not in many of the fields we had now. You female professionals(doc, lawyer, nurse, teachers etc.) were few and far between. Now women have access so more choices means more change even in relationship dynamics. Look before some jackleg says oh its that whole women’s lib jive. Please note that had women in the olden days had access I am thinking this new change under the sun might have come a bit sooner.

I know I am the posting news article queen but I read on NPR Sunday how in the recession women are taking a greater role as the Breadwinner.

Economists say this recession is reshaping the financial roles of millions of women whose husbands have lost jobs. Since the recession began in December 2007, about 5.7 million jobs have disappeared in the United States. About 4 out of 5 of those jobs were held by men. That’s because the heaviest employment cuts have been concentrated in construction, manufacturing and financial services, where male workers predominate.

The uneven impact of the recession shows up in the unemployment data. On Friday, the Labor Department said the overall jobless rate in April was 8.9 percent. But for adult men, the rate was 9.4 percent; for adult women, it was just 7.1 percent.

The article went on to say that women are taking second jobs to assist the family. The times have a changed and I think there needs to be some acceptance that relationship dynamics have to change with them.

Professor

May 12th, 2009
8:56 am

Is it about picking your battles so that when you do speak on an issue, your man actually pays attention because you haven’t nagged and argued about every other little thing?

IMO it is truly about picking my battles and letting my SO know the things I cannot live with/out. Simply put everything is not a battle, nor do I have an opinion or a preference on everything. For example, I dated a guy that always had an opinion on something or preference. I mean small things like going to the movies he had to control every detail, or he always had a preference on where we should eat. Even if I blankly stated I want Café Intermezzo, he would say pizza. I will not even talk about his lack of knowledge of a subject yet the opinion would start flowing like a river. Needless to say, I find it very difficult to deal with a SO that must control everything regardless of how minute it is.

Raqi...39 Days to ML

May 12th, 2009
9:15 am

You cannot force a man to accept your submission

I hate a man that hides under his woman’s skirt tail. Hell leave that in the bedroom. Dealing with matters of life is not the place for that. So many guys cannot accept submission because it puts him out on the front line. Now he has to come up and make it happen because the woman is allowing herself to be lead by his actions. Many man fear this. Why I don’t know because their voice will be heard before a woman’s.

A husband and wife can walk into an establish to voice their grievances, before either one opens their mouth the one approached 95% of the time looks at the man first. This I know. I live this. We walk into the bank together, they shake his hand first and look at him first when asking “how can we help you all today?”

Yeah a man that don’t want to be and is not capable of being the head cannot handle a submissive woman.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
9:23 am

Maybe I don’t grasp nor desire to grasp this submission concept but how in the sam hell is dealing with a ducky man making a woman submissive? This is some lame stuff for real. I mean if the account is your hubby’s account why are you calling? Well he told me too..okay we can’t talk to you and why can’t he talk for himself-this is duck like behavior. This is just a pet peeve of mind..that and mother’s who call for stuff for their grown behind son’s..is he over 18 yes..then he is an adult. Let him check his own stuff. Well I am just calling for him. No you are just creating a duck. My kid is a minor so yes I am responsible once he passes 18 what in the sam hill do I look like calling to have a discussion with his history or science professor? WTH?? And the sad part is it happens. Alot.

MissQC

May 12th, 2009
9:23 am

Morning Bloggers…very interesting topic; me personally does not prefer the “silent treatment” I don’t want my Man around me and not talking or communicating with me; talk to me baby let me know what’s on your mind; The “silence is golden” phrase doesn’t work for me…hope you all have a great day! ;)

AmazonRed - blogging from phone

May 12th, 2009
9:24 am

Morning!

This seems like some sort of mail order relationship. Well informed women should always have an opinion on things that affect their lives. So just because it isn’t expressed does not mean it isn’t there. I’d have difficulty with that.

As a child I had blind faith in my parents and their decisions because I was not informed in all it takes to raise a kid. I think that’s really the only way such a relationship could work. IMO

Raqi...39 Days to ML

May 12th, 2009
9:32 am

Kym she asked “Do you think there is a way to make some of these traditions work in today’s society?”

Yes there is if you accept them as working. Everything is not for everybody. It’s that simple. If your way is not the traditional way then no it will not work. But for those that do desire such, accepting the way is the way to make it work.

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 12th, 2009
9:40 am

I just think it’s a worthwhile discussion in our modern times because it relates to the traditions that many of us have abandoned. Do you think there is a way to make some of these traditions work in today’s society?

First off I would ask why were some of these traditions abandoned in the first place? Economic times and other societal ramifications (i.e.war,jail,gangs) have caused a shift in the number/amount of males who are able to take care of their families. As a result, women had to enter the work force and support(or help support) their families. This began with the first World War when the men were fighting the women had to go to factories to help make war heads and tanks and ish.

This new found freedom and independence was great for alot of women who didn’t want to go back to the status quo when their men returned(if they did at all). So with that shift in the male demographic more and more women found themselves being the bread winner, mother/father and head of the household. Some were able to retain the values of olde but not all and African American women are disproportionately affected.

Ladies, have you ever found that silence (not the same as the cold shoulder) is a great way to handle relationship problems? Is it about picking your battles so that when you do speak on an issue, your man actually pays attention because you haven’t nagged and argued about every other little thing?

No, no and hell no. My father was/is the biggest a**hole I know and my mother suffered in silence for a long time b/c she wanted us to grow up with our father b/c she did not with hers. We all suffered and I refuse to endure that again. We can speak on issues TACTFULLY instead of nagging OR we can CHOOSE to PICK our battles if that suits your taste. It can be done.

NY2GA, Inc.

May 12th, 2009
9:40 am

Don’t suffer in silence. Pick your battles.

Wise, since this is guest bloggers week…Was Ms. Alexxys Taylor (sp?) was on your list of invitees? Bump Maryann, that sister would set the blog ablaze ;)

Professor

May 12th, 2009
9:42 am

I forgot to add that if you are trying to manage or control your relationship through silence, both partners must be on the same accord with this method. IMO both parties need to know that the compromise is there—so there is respect and appreciation for the silence. In my experience this did not always happen.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 12th, 2009
9:42 am

Hello folks.

On topic: I don’t think that she’s referring to not being able to speak in a relationship but controlling what you speak about. Sure, you’re grown and can say whatever you like but is that the best thing for the relationship? What if the guy does the same thing, you have 2 folks just yapping at each other with a whole lot of unsolved problems.

First, if you choose your mate wisely your MAJOR goals in life should match up. Family, finances, faith, etc. That leaves your secondary goals as a possible conflict but if you can communicate correctly then those will be minor and temporary.

If I had only 2 women to choose from and one would cheat and the other would say whatever came to her head I’d take the cheater and kiss her on the forehead. She may cheat twice a week but that chick that cant control her thoughts and therfore her tongue is gonna wear me out every day. I cant even rest my head.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
9:43 am

@Raqi sorry but I don’t exactly follow you or the guest blogger. Your post sounds like you will be passing out black veils and hoops skirts along with “special kool-aid” to those who wish to follow “the way”. I mean we can make this a poker game. I see your traditional family mom and dad. And raise you a molester for a father, a whoring pastor, and a wife beater. You can see that and raise me a unwed welfare mother and a homeless kid. I mean we can go back and forth all day.

Raqi...39 Days to ML

May 12th, 2009
9:47 am

And Kym the professional position a woman holds has nothing to do with the level of her submission. I am very close friends with a doctor and she a submissive wife. Her husband is her king after Christ.

I have noticed that submissive is usually always subverted by the statements of “women have better opportunities than back”. It has nothing to do with a woman’s opportunities but more to do with the role she accepts in her relationship.

To say that the only reason women of old held their husbands has head is because they could not do for themselves is IMO a bit degrading to those women.

That is the spark that keeps the “I got my own shyt I don’t need a man” fire burning.

Raqi...39 Days to ML

May 12th, 2009
9:54 am

The one true fact about anything in life, just like the one who don’t want it looks for ways that it will not work, the ones who do want it find the ways that it will. That’s a given in everything.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
9:55 am

Sorry has pregnancy affected your vision Raqi because I didnt say that women didn’t hold their husbands as hea because they could not do for themselves. I said they didn’t have opportunity. Honey you lived a damn sheltered life if you think women black or white could just get up and choose a career and family. My aunt is 73 years old, from rural South GA and has a love of medicine. Even now she reads everything that has to do with health and medicine. She would have made an extraordinary doctor. However 50 plus years ago do you think she was afforded the opportunity? NO, it was not acceptable or a given. She has told me time and time again the only way a kid for that area of GA was getting to college is if their parents had money or they knew somebody. And if you were a woman all bets were off. So this has nothing to do with I don’t need a man, matter fact unless I say that shyt please don’t read a damn thang into what I post. You wanna know ask me. But right now you are assuming and yeah I take that shyt real personal.

abc

May 12th, 2009
9:57 am

It’s like it’s just typed in without regard for what it says.

First be submissive and call that traditional, never mind that ‘a wife should submit to her husband’ has absolutely nothing to do with dominance and submission, and pertains to marriage, not shack jobs, boyfriends and girlfriends.

Then, sign up for instructions on how to become an ‘Alpha Female’, i.e., dominant, assertive, dates as many males as she wants, usually sarcastic because she’s powerful and playful (from the Urban Dictionary — I presume that to be an accurate lexicon guide for Ms Reid, this topic and venue). Frankly, most of the chicks that post here suit that description already, seems to me.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
10:06 am

Lol @ NY@GA!

Fiery discussion this will be, today.

Kim – YOU ARE A FUNNY CHIC!!!

On topic: Giving someone the “silent treatment” is not good.

Anyone want to join me for a trip to Target and Trader Joe’s for lunch?

Kym

May 12th, 2009
10:07 am

Frankly I don’t Ms. Reid know a damn thang about submissive, because what she is calling submission is really about respect. And that is a two lane street. In order for a man to be the head and earn respect he has to walk in that manner. Truth has said it. For Real has said. Every man minus a few ducks has said it. In its purest form it is what we all seek and want. You give respect you get respect. give and take it is a two lane street. This is not about respect it is about manipulation and as Poppa G pointed out that is how the game is played. Difference is Ms. Reid is calling it submission to breed controversy because controversy sells. 19.95 all day. But frankly if a woman or man for that matter has trust and respect in their mate then it doesn’t matter what flashy/jazz name you attach to it to sell books and web advice..you will get trust and respect in return. I trust and respect him to do what is right to protect this family unit. He trust and respect I will do my part to keep this family unit running. Hell you can get this advice for free.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
10:09 am

Sister Cee – I wanna go!

Raqi...39 Days to ML

May 12th, 2009
10:11 am

Kym I am not assuming you to say anything. But yet I still don’t see where a woman’s opportunities have anything to do with her choosing to be a submissive wife or succumb to a traditional relationship. It always goes back to that.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
10:12 am

Good Morning all…
“In your experience, do you respond to the “path of least resistance” in a relationship? Are you intrigued by women who use silence as an actual form of communication and submission?”

I unfortunately have a different prosective on this issue. My ex-wife used to use silence as a weapon, even more than the “cutting me off” weapon. She would not say a word for days, and it had nothing to do with submission, it was about knowing what would push my buttons… the silent treatment. She still does that same thing to our daughter and has no clue what damage she will ultimately do to her relationship with our daughter. I hate the silent treatment, because their is no good way to fight back. In a relationship, lay the truth on me, and I will deal with it, one way or the other.

Submission, in a relationship, should be out of respect for the other party, whether it is the man or the woman…and should be done out of a desire to demonstrate to the other party that he/she is valued and important.

Professor

May 12th, 2009
10:14 am

@Truth- I agree about the yapping all of the time. I really believe in my heart that both parties must be on the same page at the same time to truly get it! The whole silence thing is usually taken out of context and most people feel that they are not being heard. Heck, most of the time, what people are trying to be heard on really does not matter in the big scheme of things. So being the woman that I am I want the important stuff heard and I save the yapping for other occasions i.e. spades, blogs and hanging with friends while I sip on my sangria.

Mo (aka Moeisha- looking for a new haircut)

May 12th, 2009
10:15 am

Truth – I agree with your post. I am not argumetative but I do believe in communicating if I have a problem with something. My ex however was a head-to-mouth person, meaning whatever he thought came out of his mouth. Maybe if we were alike in that area, that wouldnt have a been a problem. However while I chose to pick-n-choose my battles, everything was a battle and had to be discussed with him. Everything aint that serious. Its like Professor stated in part of his post “both partners must be on the same accord with this method”

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 12th, 2009
10:16 am

Bump Maryann, that sister would set the blog ablaze

Is she gonna be here all week or today only?……

Mo (aka Moeisha- looking for a new haircut)

May 12th, 2009
10:17 am

Sorry Professor, I meant to say her, not his in my post!

And morning everyone!

Kym

May 12th, 2009
10:17 am

And I didn’t say a woman could not do both. But for whatever the reason some women are choosing not to do it. And they have the right to choose. It is not a bad choice because they don’t walk in “the way”. And you seem to be under the impression that “the way” is the only way. Everythang ain’t for everbody and what worked in the past is not working now. There has to be a level of acceptance that relationships are and have evolved.

SexyCool

May 12th, 2009
10:18 am

I’m a talker. Sometimes, I talk too much. I believe that there is often wisdom in holding my tongue.

My tendency to want to talk it over comes out of my impatience. I am learning that sometimes if I hold my peace some issues will resolve themselves.

I am not advocating avoidance or being a doormat. Sometimes, it really is okay to just shutdahellup.

Three Words Daily – Peace. Be still.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
10:18 am

Kimmie – How come i knew you’d be down? I need to replace my Almond Butter i have for snack while working. I need certain snacks for survive this job. Do you have any blog friend emails?

I am leaving here, for the Roswell loca. at 11:30.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
10:22 am

Another small comment about the last two days. The dynamics of the whole “submissive” issue changes if one is talking about casual dating, or a long term relationship, or marriage. The goals and objectives are radically different under each scenario. What I would do/provide/accept under each varies greatly.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
10:30 am

Kym – I feel your 10:07

Yesterday some touched on the point that a woman being submissive(in the way it is meant to be) and the man being the head or leader is something that is “natural” and the natural order of things. Things seem to fall into place when this natural order is respected. I think AA women get such a horrible rap all the time. We are blamed for all of society’s woes. Never mind that “our” men have had to face challenges like that of no other men. Some of their own making, but a lot stemming from the number this country has played on them. It has succeeded in destoying the AA family. We read from Truth about the expectations on men in the culture he is living amoung in the Middle East. There are similiar expectations of men in other cultures around the world. These expectations are what the women and children of these cultures can depend on. AA women are not even put up as a standard of beauty among our society as a whole and not to a lot of AA men in general. As a result, AA women have had to find a way to adapt to an “unnatural” situation, thus the “I don’t need a man” syndrome among a lot of them. A lot of negetive behaviors have to be unlearned by both sides. I absolutely cringe when I hear the constant putdowns of my AA sisters. Excuse me Asian, Hispanic, European, etc sisters, but you don’t face a lot of the challenges we do with our men and if you did, I’d like to see how you would handle them.

I’m sure a lot on here may not agree with me, but I felt the need to express my thoughts on the matter.

Raqi...39 Days to ML

May 12th, 2009
10:30 am

Randy I agree with you and abc both, however although it may not be suitable for full practice before the nups it has to be an existing mindset. While you can learn to grow into something, some things you cannot just turn on and off like a light switch.

SexyCool

May 12th, 2009
10:32 am

I should have said that as a talker I am LEARNING that there is wisdom in holding my tongue – and this doesn’t just apply to my personal relationships.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
10:35 am

Sister Cee – I love that Roswell location and I would seriously meet you today if I did not have 2 meetings to go to. Let’s definitely plan on it another day though!

I am going to figure out a way to get you my email address so we can communicate!

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 12th, 2009
10:36 am

The woman sets the emotional tone of the relationship. If her head is hectic then your relationship is hectic. There is no way around it. At least MOST dudes that dont know jack at least know how to shut up, except for your old bf Prof.

Thing is most people that have alot to say or feel some kinda way usually aren’t producing good results. Good results take a certain mindset. Either you have that mindset or not. If you’d rather pace all day waiting for your mate to get home so you can tell them about something that happened because you have the right to say what you want you’ve done two thing 1) wasted a day of your life that you’ll never get back 2) reinforced a weak trait that has no place in a relationship.

Kym, I gotta disagree with you on this one. The cat thats grinding it out for his fam has submitted to that fam. He’s placed their welfare above his own, though he does get some satisfaction from doing what he feels must be done. Most cats grinding like that dont complain that much because they’re mind is on the mission. Same with the chicks that ground it out in the day. You remember the ones that held down 2 jobs to get what they needed. I remember those women and from my memory they rarely said alot because they were to busy doing. If you’d like carte blanche to say whatever you like whenever you like I’d recommend singledom, which isnt necessarily a bad thing.

Cry wolf to often and nobody listens anymore. Peace in your home is in your hands, feel free to say whatever you like but remember the reverberations come back to you.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
10:38 am

On a lighter note for a moment…

Speaking of “cutting me off”…I liked what Rodney Dangerfield said about his wife. He said, “I get no respect from my wife, she has decided to cut me down to once a month. But it could be worse, I know seven guys she cut out completely”.

He also said “I have a pact with his wife that we always smoke after sex. I’ve been carrying around the same pack around since 1978, and she is now up to three packs a day”.

I thought I would throw that in (probably should throw it back out again).

Beautiful

May 12th, 2009
10:38 am

morning good ppl!

**Her silence contributes to a sense of security and safety in the relationship**

s/s is what i once had and look forward to it again. this is prolly #1 on our list of must haves if nothing else.

MELO

May 12th, 2009
10:40 am

This is a simple issue but i see some of u chics have mental blocs.So u cant grasp the simple issue.
The first thing u do is choose the right partner.Dont ask me how u do that.Thats elemntary.
Now when u have him,u know u luv him and u trust him.Submission will come easily thereafter.
I will give u a practical example:
U know how u women luv to talk.U yep yep all the time.If u are in a relationship right now and live with a man, u know what i mean! Be4 the man has put his thoghts tgether about what he needs to do to finish that project,u already yep yepping,”oh,u know Shaquita and them did this,so why dont we do the same???” :grin: Ur man is like”"this heifer dont stop talking,shes already giving me commands on what i need to do”"!! U see where iam going with this folks??
Now if u trust ur man,luv him,u going to let him do his thing coz u know hes going to get this thing right.Thats the submission shes talking about.Truth said it,u got to be in the right relationship,not the experimental one!! When u are,u luv, trust and submit coz ur man will do the right thing by u for u,tgether and for ur family.
Stop evoking ur memories with ur ex-trife pudsy snatchers ladies!!!
A prffosnal woman can be submissive too,to another proffsnal man!! Whats so special with being a proffsnal woman?? If she dont wanna be married thats a different matter.
This aint hard at all.
Like i said yesterday,if sme of these chics wanna grow dyckks,they shld go ahead and do so. :lol:
Mrning folks!!!!

Kym

May 12th, 2009
10:49 am

Truth considering I have made several points today where exactly is your disagreement. I stated that a person has to pick their battles.. know the difference between molehills and mountains and no one one should have to suffer in silence because it will make someone else uncomfortable. If I am uncomfortable with a family situation, then we are all going to be uncomfortable. Suffering in silence leads to mental illness. Examples:

Toliet seat up-molehill
Loss of job and not telling your spouse and family until it is too late-mountain

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 12th, 2009
10:49 am

AA women are not even put up as a standard of beauty among our society as a whole and not to a lot of AA men in general. As a result, AA women have had to find a way to adapt to an “unnatural” situation, thus the “I don’t need a man” syndrome among a lot of them. A lot of negetive behaviors have to be unlearned by both sides.

Kimmie your 10:30 was definitely on point and coincides with my 9:40. I think/feel that AA women do get a bad rep.(although some of it may be warranted) for having to assume responsibilities that some women of other cultures traditionally don’t have to. Of course there are exceptions to this but I’m speaking in general terms. There are ALOT of things that may indeed have to be “unlearned” but first the reasons these behaviors were learned in the first place must be addressed….I think it came out of neccessity and survival. I’ve seen how men of other cultures treat their women and I would love it if more AA men adopted the same thing. They’re out there but we just need to increase the numbers.

Raqi...39 Days to ML

May 12th, 2009
10:50 am

LOL abc I totally overlooked that line about the free crash course.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
10:56 am

When you “hold your mule” as my Grandma would say, about an issue, sometimes the issue subsides. But also, when something has been bothering you and that thing is in your heart and mind & you don’t address it properly, it’ll eat at chu’.

Why be constipated with a concern?

“I think AA women get such a horrible rap all the time. I absolutely cringe when I hear the constant putdowns of my AA sisters.”

Kimmie – One thing! –Division-

We as AA can be our sister’s negative factor.

Example: If she doesn’t run in the same circle = (“roll like me”), this mentality is very prominent in our community, moreso than Sisterly Love. We should adopt the concept of being opposite the “Wisteria Lane” = which is, “What she got going over there?”and that of “cliques” and “garbage recepticals”. We find reasons to say “oh-she’s a trip!” than how to lift and exalt our sisters. Go to an AA beauty shop, and just listen to the convo….99.9% is gossip, snide-r, and usually not prayerful.

Raqi...39 Days to ML

May 12th, 2009
10:58 am

I’ve seen how men of other cultures treat their women…

Let me ask you a question Sassy. Which is more important to you, getting the treatment or getting it from a particular man? In other words, would you forgo the treatment if you cannot get it from a certain type of man?

And yes I understand we all like who we like, AA, Latino, Asian, whatever. But I am just asking.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
11:00 am

Thanks Sassy, I agree. Yeah, we AA sisters are not perfect, but goodness, give us a little break. Uncover the real reasons WHY.

We have GOT to get our families back!

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
11:04 am

Sister Cee – Yes, we need to treat EACH OTHER better, so we can face the world!

Beautiful

May 12th, 2009
11:08 am

**Now when u have him,u know u luv him and u trust him.Submission will come easily thereafter.**

bravo MELO!

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 12th, 2009
11:13 am

Kym, here’s plan c. This cat cares enough about you to not say something about his job loss until its assured. You know most companies today are tlaking about layoffs but why make your mate worry before its necessary. Now if he lost his job and doesn’t have a backup or funds to cover things and doesnt tell you then thats a whole different mindset and speaks more to what type of mate we chose.

Contrary to what you may believe about me I dont go around thumping my chest saying I am man hear me talk crap. I do what I do and look to see if that motivates you to do what you do. There’s really not much to talk about. If I provide you the things I can, which is all I can provide btw, and you don’t give me what you have then what more can I give you and what are we really talking about? How much less I’m going to lower my standards to make this thing work? Not. But me talking and wasting my time trying to convince you to give me something you obviously dont want to give is useless and will get my blood pressure up for sure.

My point is 90% of the things we talk about have no solution and just drain us. I’d rather talk about what we have planned, what our goals are, and how sweet its going to be when we reach them. Then we can make more plans and do it all over. LOL

I read an article a long time ago about how women train men to not come home. Now that I know many a cat that would rather shoot pool all night or work overtime than go home I can see that not many women read it. Like I said, YOU set the emotional tone of your home life. Run it like Shaquita if you want.

At some point we must get control of our own thought processes.

Beautiful

May 12th, 2009
11:13 am

yesterday i wore my mother’s day shirt my mom bought me to work. it had a pretty glitter design. by the time i got to work glitter was every damn where! lol. in my hair, on my face and arms, my purse, jacket.

i was told i could be the stripper for the day. lol.

y’all have a beautiful one!

Leggs

May 12th, 2009
11:14 am

Good morning. This is going to be an interesting day.

@RandyT, I felt your post. I do not understand the “silence treatment.” Now you say your ex is doing the same w/your daugther. This is blatant disrespect toward your own child. Blasphemous! Being silent doesn’t solve anything. If at all, it makes matters worse. A person silencing their thoughts to make a particular situation more peaceful is only contributing to problematic health issues. I’d be damn if I sit by quietly why another makes my life miserable. How is that a person can live with someone or even married and walk around not speaking for days? What a waste! I’m tired this morning and a bit cranky so I’ll lurk…

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 12th, 2009
11:17 am

Which is more important to you, getting the treatment or getting it from a particular man? In other words, would you forgo the treatment if you cannot get it from a certain type of man?

Raqi are you serious?…..I know you’re pregna but come on now. I would rather be treated well by a man(regardless of his ethnicity) than to be treated like ish by a man of my own. I wouldn’t dare be so ingnorant as to subject myself to bullshyt treatment from an AA man just to say I’m with one or for the sake of a pseudo-relationship(no I wouldn’t even call that a real one so it’s “pseudo”). Why do you think some of our AA sisters date outside their race?….because they want to be treated well and not neccessarily by a brother in specific but a MAN WHO CARES ENOUGH TO DO IT. It’s all about choices…..not to say that all AA men terat their women crappy but if that’s been the totality of your experiences with them then why not try something different? Insanity is doing the same thing the same way everytime and expecting different results Albert Einstien

Let me ask YOU a question…..If Mason treated you and your sons and future daughter like dirt and you met another man who may not be of your ethnicity who treated you like 24K gold what would YOU DO??? Would you stay with Mase or choose to be treated well. It’s not the million dollar question or quantum physics but a common sense question…..so ponder.

abc

May 12th, 2009
11:22 am

Yeah Raqi, get a load of her site. Tartuffe. I have to wonder where the submissive line comes from, looking at the tripe there. WD, what’s your marketing tie-in with Ms Reid?

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
11:27 am

Sassy I did not say settle for getting treated like dirt, LOL. I was asking would you just do without if it is not coming from a particular man.

A lot of people are very adamant about not dating outside of a particular race and would do without instead.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
11:31 am

@Truth I agree people make some horrible choices in mates and they may not wake up from the happy ending until it is too late. So this I grant you. But if your mate is not meeting your needs(emotional, sexual, or otherwise) and you are meeting their needs. Things are out of balance. Most Men are doers..you show love by doing. You don’t say it.often..you don’t write love odes to your lover’s toes. I get that. Women are nurturing we cuddle, rub, say, talk because that is how we show our love. We have to talk it out. Here is where there is compromise. I accept that your cleaning out my car, taking out the garbage and buying my favorite chinese for dinner are acts of love. But, you have to accept that if I want to talk about an issue that involves the family I should be heard. I love to talk but not all the time. I have actually asked my son for 30mins of silence when I get home because frankly I want to strip off the day and renew.- I rarely get the 30mins.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 12th, 2009
11:32 am

Sassy, funny you bring up other races. All the cats here deal with these phil/orientals because they dont want to deal with american chicks. They would rather pay a chick to date them than do the day to day thing with an american. We’re talking black, white and other. All the sista’s here date white guys.

I guess everyone is looking for what they dont have nowadys.

Kuwait chronicles: I talked with a bruh sunday I was working with and he told me he spent over $40,000 here his first year on sex alone. He said every night was one, two or three chicks. At the end of the year he looked at his account and it was empty so he rethought his plans and just got one hooker every few nights or so. Just thought I’d break up the tension. LOL

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 12th, 2009
11:32 am

That’s all well and to the good Raqi but I asked YOU a question as well…what would you do sistergirl?…what would you teach your little queen soon to come? Let’s you and the rest of the blog women dialogue on that…seriuosly b/c unfortunately there are alot of us who would settle with a shytty brother and not love self enough to “move on”.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
11:33 am

Treat me well and race is a non-issue. Now short..short is an issue.

Wise Diva

May 12th, 2009
11:37 am

@abc, no grand marketing scheme, I asked an author to guest blog and out of courtesy, I linked to their site where you can find more about them. You certainly are not obligated to check her out it doesn’t interest you, though.

There will be another featured guest blog tomorrow and I will do the same thing.

LIONESS

May 12th, 2009
11:38 am

Good Morning All :)
Truth- My ex had diarrhea mouth.. Goodness! I have a slick mouth but I know how to control it! That is a realationship NO NO!

Some black women give other black women a bad wrap! I know a BUNCH of black women that talk to much about them being independent, don’t need a man for ish, blah blah blah.. Why speak on something you already know? Annoying SMDH!

NY2GA, Inc.

May 12th, 2009
11:38 am

@abc
Did you say tripe? lol.

Out of curiosity, what is Ms. Reid’s marital status? Secondly, how have the use of her alpha female techniques helped or hindered her intimate relationship(s)? I need this before I enroll in the crash course…

Kym

May 12th, 2009
11:38 am

And let me clarify treatment..this does not mean spend big bucks and bring your credit report. It just means show me respect. I respect you..you respect me we grow from there.

Sassy I just had this discussion the other night..apparently the idea that I would consider dating or letting my son be mentored by a man other than black well lets just say some members of the family circus are none to happy.

LIONESS

May 12th, 2009
11:38 am

Cee- I would go with you too BUT I have no idea where you work.. LOL! I have NEVER been to trader joes

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 12th, 2009
11:38 am

Truth I’ve noticed that as well as heard it from other men in the military,too. Is there an anti-American women sentiment going on(depending on where you are) or against women who are “Westernized”. 40k is alot to spend on “puntang”…they must’ve had that THAYOW ;)

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 12th, 2009
11:40 am

Kym, thanks for answering my question. If someones not taking care of your emotional, physical and financial needs than why are you even with them and what can you say to change them? Before you answer think of how hard it is to change yourself, let alone someone else.

Leggs

May 12th, 2009
11:41 am

@Truth, all you did was rile up Melo!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
11:42 am

@ Truth re “Kuwait chronicles: I talked with a bruh sunday I was working with and he told me he spent over $40,000 here his first year on sex alone.”

This was on the AJC website today, similar thing, Charlie Sheen was on the list again according to another version I heard, LOL. Money does help I suppose.

“Woman accused in porn star prostitution ring”
SANTA ANA, Calif. — A woman is accused in California of making more than $8.5 million from an online prostitution business that claimed to employ porn stars and fashion models.

Michelle Braun appeared Monday in federal court in Orange County and was allowed to remain free pending her next pretrial hearing next month.

The Boca Raton, Fla., woman is accused of charging clients $50,000 or more to spend the night with adult film stars, models, and actresses. Prosecutors say she used her travel business to launder the money.

Braun pleaded not guilty in March to money laundering and transporting someone for prostitution purposes. Prosecutors say she’s expected to change her plea to guilty before her next hearing.

Braun and her lawyer declined to comment.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
11:47 am

@Truth, I am not going to try to change them. That is something they have to choose to change within themselves and as you stated they often wont. Dude you are preaching to the choir with this one.. I have been here done that and have a 13 year old kid to show for it. Emotional I got, Physical I got, financially is where he was lacking not because he couldn’t he was just unwilling to do it legally. And no matter how hard he tried..he could not unprogram the behavior..so why should I have stuck it out in silence. I pushed the heck on.

Rell - hollerin @ benchs

May 12th, 2009
11:51 am

@truth…you know what it is…those dudes dont have to pay those women..those women just know how to tung on the heart strings…those saps are sticking on there caps…it must be kool ass hell in kuwait with all those dayum caps flapping in the wind

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
11:52 am

Sassy I take it you have not been reading this site long to ask me about dating outside of my race.

I’ll take a good man over a piece of shyt all day long. If Mason starts to get funky I know the way to the door.

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
11:53 am

LOL Kym. Short is an issue.

English Girl

May 12th, 2009
11:55 am

The topics for the last two days have really hit home for me as it relates to my marraige and the changes I have had to make in regards to how I communicate with my husband. My husband is the head of our household and I don’t have to have an opinion or comment about everything. I married him because I love and trust him, so I have to trust that he is doing the best for us as a family.

So silence or communicating my question, point, whatever once and once only and giving him the time to respond whether it be hours or days later, sets us up for him to listen to me when I have something to say that is really important. Now he respond knowing that when I do talk or express something it’s really important and he listens.

abc

May 12th, 2009
11:57 am

Really, WD? The link you posted is to an entry form where people can provide their name and email address (read: spam engine), branded specifically to “Misadventures in Dating” (sic). It certainly appears to be a marketing relationship. Looks like a duck… it doesn’t quack?

Rell - hollerin @ benchs

May 12th, 2009
11:57 am

@English girl….you should have bolded all dat…lol

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
11:57 am

Now we are really on topic with “Path of Least Resistance” when talking about our American men getting women from other cultures. Most mainly so when seeking a “silent” woman and I mean silent. In some of these cultures the woman has no voice. Period. She is like a child, to be seen and not heard. And being seen is still a stretch.

If that’s what you need to feel like a man then have at it.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 12th, 2009
12:00 pm

Kym, you knew he wasnt going to generate legal funds before you got with him right? I’m all for you leaving, my thing is why not leave the moment you find something thats totally unacceptable to you?

Sassy, I work daily with alot of cats from india and the middle east, though most are from india. They’d rather stick needles in their groin than date an american. This goes for most of the world, though I suspect 100% of them would sleep with said american.

No matter how things get I’ll never turn my back on sista’s. Yeah, I talk alot of crap but i love y’all asses. At the end of the day I just wouldn’t be at home with some oriegentle or middle eastern chick. Its not a thought I’d entertain. Then again I dont have a problem with chicks i date submitting. Your going to bow down to the Truth.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
12:05 pm

Kym, is there any particular reason you’re considering having someone other than a black man mentor your son? I’m not opposed to your son having a positive male influence of another race, but I’m just curious as to why you were considering that.

Sassy, you said this earlier: not to say that all AA men terat their women crappy but if that’s been the totality of your experiences with them then why not try something different? Insanity is doing the same thing the same way everytime and expecting different results Albert Einstien

I’m not opposed to interracial dating, but if a woman has been treated terrible by AA men her whole life, then maybe she needs to take a look at herself and ask why she keeps attracting low budget ghetto trash. The same concept also applies for AA men who say they wanna jump over to women of another race.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
12:08 pm

@Truth what attracted me to him was his intellect. We met in college. Smart, funny..but who knew he would rather use his powers for evil rather than good. It happens, you live you learn, you keep it moving.

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 12th, 2009
12:09 pm

I take it you have not been reading this site long to ask me about dating outside of my race.

ObviousLY I didn’t,hence I asked the question.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 12th, 2009
12:10 pm

All the MLB give English Girl a standing ovation. Bravo Bravo

MELO

May 12th, 2009
12:11 pm

@Truth, all you did was rile up Melo!
:???: :grin: :evil: :twisted:

How…??

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 12th, 2009
12:12 pm

No matter how things get I’ll never turn my back on sista’s. Yeah, I talk alot of crap but i love y’all asses.

Truth that’s what’s up big daddy :)

LIONESS

May 12th, 2009
12:12 pm

Melo- Send me a list of the smiley names

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
12:14 pm

I have said it at least 10 times on here alone, if those non-American women were all that great, over and above us, how is it they are available for you all’s pickings? Think about it. Would those dominant men that those woman “serve under” allow you all to come over there and take their women? Why are they not protecting their priceless jewels?

There is good and bad in every nation all over this world.

LIONESS-About to Cook

May 12th, 2009
12:14 pm

English- Bravo!

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 12th, 2009
12:15 pm

Sniper point made…point taken….

MELO

May 12th, 2009
12:16 pm

All the MLB give English Girl a standing ovation. Bravo Bravo

:grin: :grin: :grin:

Game Over!!

Welcome back E-girl!!

Kym

May 12th, 2009
12:18 pm

@DJ I mention it to a family member that I am willing to date or marry outside of my race. And they asked me well what about my son? I ask them to explain. They told me by my son seeing me associate with a man of another race(white was bugging them mostly) then my son would not get the full black man experience. I ask them to define that,, which they could not..but they proceed to tell me I was depriving my son. I ask them what difference does it make if my son recieves guidance from a man that is white, so long as he is getting positive guidance?

Leggs

May 12th, 2009
12:21 pm

@Melo, I was talking about his 11:32 post talking about breaking up the tension of the blog by posting how one spent $40,000 on sex in one year! Any talk about sex makes me think of you and the crazy posts you will have. But, you didn’t respond to his post so I was wrong!

LIONESS-About to Cook

May 12th, 2009
12:24 pm

Kym- Your 12:18 comment.. I commend on standing your ground with yur family and I TOTALLY agree with your stance :)

MELO

May 12th, 2009
12:24 pm

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 12th, 2009
12:25 pm

Raqi, in there culture when a womans charachter is in question she is cast out. Remember, its just not the guy making the decision but both famlies. With that being said if you have a “past’ you’re not disrupting the family lines. This is about business. Whereas a pure women will command 60 goats a nutrag will get 2 cans of diet coke.

The chicks available here are outcasts and philipinos, who from what i’ve learned are a whole country of prostitutes. Fathers will and do sell their 13 year old daughters over there. THis is just what I’ve heard since i havent been there to verify.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
12:28 pm

Question for all who care to respond…

I have flittered in and out today and off and on for the last three years or so. One question that always enters my mind is (and I include myself in this), we talk the talk, but how many of us walk the walk? Do we really actually pursue what we say we want or do we actually fall for the glitter instead. For instance, for the ladies who seem to indicate that they want a man who will take care of them, but be sensitive (although a lady told me a long time ago that all of the great looking sensitive guys already had boyfriends)…but is that really what you want? Are you really wanting that, or do you really want the next rogue, BSD, playa that comes along? Men, do you really want a “submissive” that jumps when you say jump, that hangs onto you like a piece of jewelry, with those “adoring cow eyes”…or are you going to jump at the next wild lady at the dance club with a great chest, beautiful skin, but has byiotch written all over her?

I include myself in this, but have lived long enough to know the reason for the saying “beware of what you wish for, you might get it”.

IslandGirl aka IG

May 12th, 2009
12:30 pm

I had to come out of blog hibernation for this one. **English Girl**….so are you really happy?!

anonymousella

May 12th, 2009
12:31 pm

“Do you think there is a way to make some of these traditions work in today’s society?”

did this tradition ever really exist? i know my mama and grandma did not suffer quietly. in fact, my mother is probably yelling at my dad right. now. about leaving dirty dishes in the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher. my folks have been together for 40 years.

“Ladies, have you ever found that silence (not the same as the cold shoulder) is a great way to handle relationship problems?

nope. because what happens is that one of y’all goes through the scenario in their head, gets mad, my ex was awfully fond of that “i shouldn’t have to ask you.” well if you want me to do something about it, guess what negro, you need to inform me that you think there is a problem.

“Is it about picking your battles so that when you do speak on an issue, your man actually pays attention because you haven’t nagged and argued about every other little thing?”

i think it’s about picking your battles because it’s draining FOR YOU to be angry all the time. but some men are the “if you got something to say then say it” type. and then they get all mad because they asked you what you were thinking and you said it. *eye roll*

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
12:35 pm

@Kym, I see. On one hand, I do believe that there are some experiences that black men go through that men of other races just can’t relate to, but as I said earlier, I see no problem with your son receiving guidance from a man who isn’t black. As for your willingness to date non-black men, I don’t see an issue with that either; so long as you’re not doing because you’ve jumped on the “N***as Ain’t S**T” train. lol

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 12th, 2009
12:38 pm

IG, whats up mama? Hows life? I miss you in this camp.

Randy, I guess in my mind I dont think of submissive in the terms you used. I just think its a woman thats happy in her situation and doesnt have the need to try and dominate the situation.

MELO

May 12th, 2009
12:39 pm

Men, do you really want a “submissive” that jumps when you say jump, that hangs onto you like a piece of jewelry,

But thats not the meaning of submission tho!!

in fact, my mother is probably yelling at my dad right. now. about leaving dirty dishes in the sink instead

But thats all minor stuff.Nobody divorces coz of that,anonymousella.
Being married and happy dont mean u dont necesarily cross paths from time to time…..u look at the Big picture.

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
12:41 pm

Truth I don’t doubt that to be true. However I would not say that all the women being scoped up are tainted, but I just choose to believe that aaaalllll those women that some of these American men speak so fondly of in a way to degrade us AW, would not be readily available if they were all that great.

anonymousella

May 12th, 2009
12:41 pm

and this is why we proofread and do not multitask. “because what happens is that one of y’all goes through the scenario in their head, gets mad,” should have been “because what happens is that one of y’all goes through the scenario in their head, gets mad, gets over it and gets ready to get out before the other person can say ‘what’s wrong?’”

abc

May 12th, 2009
12:45 pm

I’m surprised you’d continue the submissive line, Randy. Obviously, that’s not a traditional role, has no basis in Biblically defined roles, doesn’t have squat to do with dating. A person who isn’t a mouthy malcontent is not a submissive.

What, nobody else is willing to pull the BS card on this? Certainly, I can’t be the only one that thinks so.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
12:46 pm

Truth…neither do I personally think that about “submission”. I think submissive is fine when there is respect and appreciation. But I have seen plenty who want submissive to mean the ability to walk all over someone and even sometimes with an element of hostility or cruelty. I was talking about the latter, not the former type of submissive….the clinging vine who is willing to take excessive abuse.

lurker

May 12th, 2009
12:48 pm

KYM…I’m digging all your posts today. I completely understand where you’re coming from

Kimmie Feeling your 10:30…on point

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
12:50 pm

abc are you referring to the entire topic as a whole and as it relates to dating?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
12:50 pm

abc…I was talking about multiple types of “submission”. Personally I think submission as a role for both the male and the female as I aaddressed in my post to Truth. I am saying I have seen both types of “submissive”, the one who is proud of her partner and willingly submits to his authority…and I have seen the “submissive” who has beated down in relationships to the point where she does not think she has teh right to an identity. It is the latter or something in between that I was addressing, the one with no indentity of her own.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
12:51 pm

My typing is crappy today. I meant to say that submission with respect is perfectly acceptable for both in my opinion, within the bounds of respect.

IslandGirl aka IG

May 12th, 2009
12:52 pm

@Truth..I sweetheart. I know I don’t blog much anymore, but I do come by and read when I can.

@Melo…”Being married and happy don’t mean u don’t necessarily cross paths from time to time”. This is a good point. If a woman says, her opinion does not count for anything that happens in the household is not submission… that ish sounds like bondage to me. I understand submission to mean my husband is Alpha and head of household. I trust his decisions, I let him lead, I love him no matter what situations come our way (including infidelity)…that especially is a big pill to swallow.

With all that said, my husband should know his wife is wise enough to have an opinion (period).

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
12:53 pm

Afternoon folks!

Not much to add to the topic.

Cemeeli that Trader Joe’s is not far from me, next time text me and I’ll meet you there…

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 12th, 2009
12:53 pm

Randy, one is submission and one is low self esteem. If I’m taking care of a chicks needs then what is there to fight over? Unless she just wants to fight.

Does anyone use an air card and does it pop out often? i dislike this thing.

abc

May 12th, 2009
12:54 pm

Raqi and Randy, I’m talking about submission as a desireable trait; submission as a personality or character trait vs. a wife that submits; applicability to dating situations, or any unmarried condition; seeming wrong-mindedness of Ms Reid’s perspective on issues of dating, period, with my impressions of that gained from her site.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
12:54 pm

@Melo…”But thats not the meaning of submission tho!!” I don’t think that way at all either, but I think many men do.

-W8 (the not so new guy)

May 12th, 2009
12:54 pm

I’m a man I lead, end of story. My job is to make her comfortable enough to submit and not worry about a damn thing. My job is to be a covering..not a top/lid (marinate on that).

MELO

May 12th, 2009
12:56 pm

It is the latter or something in between that I was addressing, the one with no indentity of her own

RANDY?? :) MLB is trying to cordinate to put the ladies in check and in line and u advocating for a WLB blog riot,whats up with that???? :grin:

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
12:59 pm

@Truth “Randy, one is submission and one is low self esteem.” Personally I agree 100%, but I really think the lines get blurred out in the real world soemtimes.

My personal preference is a lady who has a “fire” in her eyes and soul, who knows when to let me lead, and when to give me her opinion. I will make the end decisions on the big stuff taking into account her feelings, but as far as the small stuff…as Tommy Lee Jones said in the “Fugitive”…”I don’t care”.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
1:00 pm

Ahhh “hellz” Melo, the other side is paying me off, LOL.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
1:01 pm

@DJ No I am not on that at all. How could I be I am raising a young black man? But at the same time I am not going to continue to limit myself in dating. Who knows there might be a white guy in my future? All of my family is not like that. If he drinks, watches football(a Falcons fan all the better for them) my male cousins won’t have a problem. Oh great now there are two issues: short and a Falcons fan.

JOHNSMRFORDBIBBY

May 12th, 2009
1:02 pm

Tazzee, I have cleared my May-June calendar and im shopping for a new party outfit.
When is the house warming partey again???? :lol:

Melo

May 12th, 2009
1:08 pm

Tazzee,that wasnt Mr JOHNSMRFORDBIBBY(whoever that is),that was me,MELO :lol:

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
1:08 pm

JOHNSMRFORDBIBBY, Don’t know who you are….but I’m not having a housewarming party – no parking…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it :lol:

I even got a letter from the HOA about parking on the ’street’ – Sorry Suckas!!!

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
1:09 pm

:lol: – thanks for that clarification Melo.

anonymousella

May 12th, 2009
1:16 pm

@melo: my point is that they didn’t pick and choose their battles. they yelled when they felt like yelling, regardless of how serious the topic was. and they yelled louder when the problems were bigger. silence was not golden. raising their voice / a hatchet / leather belt and clothesline / some h3ll when necessary was.

i’ll take it further: i didn’t see a male head of household in any marriage i saw growing up. that’s not to say that there weren’t men around. that’s not even to say they weren’t strong. it’s to say they weren’t running things.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
1:17 pm

:cry:

Tazzee – Just got back, I did get my Almond Butter but now i see i have CRUNCHY!!! ugh….I’m so upset!

Like my friend mytwo says “reading is fundemental”…:)

English Girl

May 12th, 2009
1:19 pm

@Island girl re: your 12:30pm post ….am I happy..Definately! much happier than before when I was “silent”, our my marraige is soooooo much better now. My husband is a much better man in our relationship knowing he isn’t always going to be questioned or debated to death about every little thing. I just had to let go and not control ‘everything’. Even though I thought I was ‘communicating’ it just came across to him like I was nagging and questioning him as the man and husband in the relationship.

I had to realize that just cause he didn’t do things ‘my way’ doesn’t mean that the end result is not the same. As long as the jobs done who cares! Once I took on that attitude and took my ‘role’ as the wife was more submissive so to speak…my marriage went to a whole other level, so much better than it was before. Basically I learn’t to shut up! lol :-)

Melo

May 12th, 2009
1:21 pm

Tazze,that wxcuse is lame.We can always transport pple thru marta and pick them up at one central place.Cmon girl,we need a partey!!!!!

Blog,im opening up a register for ur signatures.We need to make it happpen.
Hw can u come back to Atlanta Tazz and not get Blog luv??

English Girl

May 12th, 2009
1:23 pm

But don’t get me wrong when I do feel strongly about something I voice my opinion and now he listens because he knows it must be impotant because I’m “silent” about everything else.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
1:24 pm

I had to realize that just cause he didn’t do things ‘my way’ doesn’t mean that the end result is not the same. As long as the jobs done who cares!

I’m working on this part myself… Part of my relationship deprogramming. That and letting him know what I’m doing. I don’t ask, but I am trying to let him know my plans in advance. Sometimes I forget until the last minute (when he asks if I want him to get me something for dinner tonight) but I’m working on it…

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
1:25 pm

Tazzee – Guess who went to visit a client in your community today?

Our buddy C The guy asking about your tenure at Purdue. He says “HI”!

IslandGirl aka IG

May 12th, 2009
1:25 pm

@English Gil…I got you and understand.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
1:28 pm

Hey IslandGirl!!! You pop in just in seasonal time!

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
1:28 pm

Cee

You should have gone to Home Depot during lunch.

LIONESS-About to Cook

May 12th, 2009
1:31 pm

I am not feeling the Home Depot on Peachtree Dunwoody.. It is in a weird spot..

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
1:31 pm

PoppaG – What at The Depot that i missed?

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
1:34 pm

Cee

2×4’s

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
1:38 pm

abc I figured that is what you were saying.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
1:39 pm

Home Depot has 2 x 4’s.

Nice thick pieces of wood to to catch & club Josh Smith over the head as he leaves Philips Arena today to get it through his skull that he has no jumpshot & to quit acting like he has one!

Melo

May 12th, 2009
1:40 pm

they yelled when they felt like yelling, regardless of how serious the topic was

yeah,there are some who do it like that.Most pple wld be divorced but they have gone on for 40 yrs u say…they compensate for that ish elsewhere where they tolerate each other better.
I can bet u..oops,u say its ur mom and dad?? Dont matter,i know they proly slam each other real bad when in the bedroom.Thats hw it goes with most cpples.
Most cples have a secret glue,unbeknown to the rest of the maddening and wondering crowd.
I do.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
1:42 pm

J-Smooove…was not for real, lastnight.

NOt For Real!!!

LOL @ 2X4’s

Rell - hollerin @ benchs

May 12th, 2009
1:43 pm

The chicks available here are outcasts and philipinos, who from what i’ve learned are a whole country of prostitutes. Fathers will and do sell their 13 year old daughters over there. THis is just what I’ve heard since i havent been there to verify.

- TRUE…i have a couple of stories from my time at subic bay….memories..awww

@english girl….your 1:19……standing o LOVE

LIONESS-About to Cook

May 12th, 2009
1:45 pm

Question: Should there be an age range on marriages? ie: No marriages before you turn 30..
What is the best age range to have lasting marriage?

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
1:46 pm

Most cples have a secret glue,unbeknown to the rest of the maddening and wondering crowd.

The truth. Even though i’ve never been married. In my relationships, i do not let friends/family sniff my “glue”.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
1:46 pm

Cee

Then you should hand the 2×4 to Zaza so that he could use it for military press and bench press because his moves to the basket are so weak.

IslandGirl aka IG

May 12th, 2009
1:49 pm

@Cee…that is funny!!! Yes, things are slowing down at work…so that gives me free time to check out my peeps in blogville.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
1:49 pm

IslandGirl…Hey Bey!

RandyT…what up with these white girls in Atlanta…me and a friend rode downtown (just for the heck of it…issssh, I just wanted to do a few quick sprints of 140mph). Anyway…we head to some bar in Mid-town…Mayne, few of them white girls had some azzes on them…RandyT, what are yall feeding them???!!! And don’t say KFC, that mess ain’t right! LOL

(negative: riding with no gloves and jacket isn’t cute in chilly weather. The ride home was colda than’a'Bish…)

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
1:50 pm

Cemeeli – tell ‘C’ I said hi!

PoppaG – LOL at the 2×4s. I think I yelled at Zaza and Josh all night last night…well during the second half (had to work late, didn’t get to the game until halftime). Josh was playing lazy and trying for the jumpshots. Zaza needs to learn how to take it to the basket fierce! I need to see his elbow in the basket – all those soft layups from ‘Rocky’ ticked me off!

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
1:50 pm

Rell

Fathers will and do sell their 13 year old daughters over there.

When I was in Japan, a person told me that many Japanese men desire pre-pubescent females. They are considered pure, unused, and clean.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
1:53 pm

Bibby is my guy! He has the most Playoff experience. And it shows.

Someone from the blog left a comment on my kid’s Blog. I’ just wanted to say thanks for the encouragement. That was so long ago the trip to D.C. but yes we will always keep that child exposed.

Ya’ll are soo kind.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
1:54 pm

Can ya’ll pass me one of those 2×4’s so I can get my turn smacking Josh Smith as well? I swear, he better spend this offseason working on his jump shot and ball handling abilities. If he can improve those, he is going to be a straight beast. I hope this season was a wake up call for him to get his game together like it needs to be.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
1:55 pm

Tazzee

I guess that I’m bitter because I got free tix from my boss last night. SO, I actually went. They played with no urgency at all. I would have at least gone down swinging. Woodson should have at least put Randolph Morris or Solomon Jones in there to get physical (that 12 fouls) .

I sat there thinking, I missed CSI Miami for this!

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
1:59 pm

Kym, you a Falcons fan? Your stock just went up in my book. You better be glad I’m married. lol I really think the team is gonna take a giant step forward in 2009. We finally have people in the front office who know what moves to make. Some people are worried about a sophomore slump from Matt Ryan, but I don’t think it will happen. Is it football season yet? lol

Just out of curiosity, how tall are you? I see that being short is a dealbreaker for you.

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
2:00 pm

What is the best age range to have lasting marriage

Lioness there isn’t one.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:01 pm

Dang Demi, I know you were freezing your ass off last night riding in that chilly weather. lol

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 12th, 2009
2:01 pm

KYM..I agree with you when you mention your auntie. I hear from my grannies all the time if they had the opportunities back then that I had now that they probably either would have gotten a great aducation and then got married and had a family…or probably never would have. We look at our grandparents and thnink they have the great marriage because the of the amount of years they have been together. But a lot that I hear is isn’t so rosy. There were times when that man was cheating on them and worse…but due to the lack of opportunites for women, even more so for women of color and from another country…they had to stay. They said they remained silent and played submissive not because they wanted to but HAD to for survival. The whole wife/mother thing was all they had to look forward to in life. It seems like they loved their family..but wanted more out of life. So I take that as my inspiration NOT to be what society deems suitable for a woman…but to do what I want and to feel free to not be a slave to tradition. We know who set tradition…man!

KIMMIE…girl I agree 100% on your 10:30. I do not need AA men to give me my props. I give them to myself…and I get them from others. It seems like men of other races respect us more, speaking from my experiences. That is why I do not limit myself to AA only.

MELO…it cracks me up when can tell sombody how easy it is to be submissive when then have never and will never do it themselves! SMDH! I will say it again…don’t ask me to do something YOU would NOT do!

TRUTH,..the funny thing about those weak men who have to go overseas to find a “submissive” woman is…they end up getting drug through th mud for alimony, and stuff after tehy get their green card…is Sayonara sucka! So of course they will be azz kissers..until they get what they want. Then they can bring all the rest of the family here. Way to go genius! :lol:

IG…where da heck you been? :lol:

W8…so you are saying pacify her to keep her quiet?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
2:02 pm

Hey Demi…I guess when we say there are tons of women in Atlanta, that only means the first two or three anymore. Beats me, I guess a lot of them stored up for the long winter or something. What really does scare me is the size of the gals 16 thru 20, because it generally does not go but one direction from there.

Now me on the other hand, I am just going to get taller.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:02 pm

Cee

Bibby is my guy!

Well, I hope that he enjoy his stay here. He is a free agent this offseason. I can’t see giving him a ton of money for the what he is asking. He wants a 3 or 4 year deal. Unfortunately, we have a lot of money already tied up in Craig “The Walking Suit Mannequin” Claxton f/k/a Speedy. Acie Law, The Walking Suit, and Bibby…that is too much money tied up in PGs.

Especially when the 2010 free agent class will be really nice. The top three (LeBron, Kobe, D-Wade) players probably won’t go anywhere, but that would mean that there their teams would probably be out of the running for other good players. The curse of Billy Knight will linger for a while.

It probably would have been better for the team budget if he didn’t come back because insurance would have pick up his salary.

IslandGirl aka IG

May 12th, 2009
2:02 pm

@Demi…hey babe.. My Caucasian sisters are eating chicken! They realized is so much you can gain from climbing the Stair Master..(lol)

Demi

May 12th, 2009
2:03 pm

(When I was in Japan, a person told me that many Japanese men desire pre-pubescent females. They are considered pure, unused, and clean.)

It’s worse than that…have you watch their anime? Most of the girls look ten with D cups. I am like WTF!? Don’t get me started on Hentai…that mess is kiddie….corn. And that chap is on Japan National Television…That mess ain’t right.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:04 pm

I’m so not feeling these friends i have that can go to a Semi-Finals game on a weekday.

Did anyone bring me a commemorative, cup, t-shirt, straw…something?

Tazzee :)

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:05 pm

Sniper

Kym, you a Falcons fan?

Kym + Falcon’s Fan in the same sentence? ‘Dems Fightin’ Words!

She is a fan of the team from up north that wears Black and Gold….The team with the most Super Bowl victories in NFL history. Duh Steelers.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
2:06 pm

@DJ I am sorry I am a member of the Steeler Nation (proud member since 1996) I became a steeler fan because my son’s father was a Bengals fan and it was a great way to piss him off. Tazzee is the FAlcons fan.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
2:06 pm

PoppaG – you think you were mad? First of all, I paid for my tickets, then had to work late – but left to go see the game and then back home for more work until 12:30…I could have stayed at work.

Cemeeli – I didn’t get a t-shirt myself, was too late.

DJ – LOL, Kym is NOT a Falcons fan…please don’t get her started.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:06 pm

Cee

They gave away T-Shirts that said “Now you know!!”

My friends and I laughed when they handed it to us.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
2:07 pm

Kym – ;-) Thank you!

IslandGirl aka IG

May 12th, 2009
2:07 pm

@Staceye…girl, I’ve been working, but I can’t complain one bit.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:09 pm

Tazzee

I nominate you for the 2×4 whacking. You might have enough anger in you to make Josh feel it!!..:lol:

Rell - hollerin @ benchs

May 12th, 2009
2:09 pm

@PG….could be alls i know when i went to the phillipins..it was 50 american dollars for two women for the WHOLE WEEKEND….if you were seen with one chick over there dudes would think you were trying to wife them UP….it was required to have more than one chick for the weekend….but i did not like asian women..there bodies where not shaped right to me..so i did not join that party but one time…i dealt with the WM’S mostly when i was overseas…but once back to the states…i was i the streets

on another note PG…the homo gene is running wild over in asian…seen alot of that when i was in japan

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:12 pm

Kym

Tazzee is the FAlcons fan.

I kinda laughed when I read that because by saying Tazzee is theFalcons fan instead of Tazzee is a Falcons Fan you made it sound like she is their lone fan.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:13 pm

PoppaG – All i have to add to the Hawks topic, and then i’m done because it was painful to watch.

They let Lebron get away with slapping a old Lady if they could! OMG – When he fouled Joe Johnson and the officials called it on Joe! That was just sad…

That call was so bad…they’d of called the foul on J. Johnson’s grandmamma before calling one on Lebron if they could.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:15 pm

Rell

on another note PG…the homo gene is running wild over in asian…seen alot of that when i was in japan

True..I saw it too.

However, It really caught me off guard in Italy. Seeing a couple of dudes holding hands near the Vatican was wierd. The Pope wouldn’t have like to see that!

Kym

May 12th, 2009
2:18 pm

@DJ I am 5′10 without shoes. Short will not work for me.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
2:20 pm

Naw PoppaG… Tazzee is my friend and she is the ultimate Falcons fan. I may not like the team but I like a dedicated fan. Love your team lose or lose.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:20 pm

So Kym is a Steelers fan huh? I’m cool with that, cuz I like watching them as well. I was happy that Mike Tomlin won a SB in just his second season.

Tazzee, us fellow Falcon fans must unite and support our team for 2009. I think it’s gonna be a good year.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:23 pm

Kym, I feel u on the dedicated fan thing. I became a Falcons fan the year before I moved here(the year they went to the SB) and I’ve been one ever since. Even when they had their bad seasons, I was still in front of the TV every Sunday, screaming and cussing and trying to will them to victory. That didn’t always work. lol

So your son’s father is a Bengals fan huh? And I thought I went through some suffering. lol

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
2:25 pm

Ahhh but Kym, you would be amazed at what a short guy can do with a tall lady in heels who is standing up, if he is sitting on a short stool!!! LOL.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
2:27 pm

Staceye – I agree with you, just because folks stayed married for upteen years back in the day does not necessarily mean they were happy. I know my grandmother and even my mother, while they loved their husbands, wished more opportunities and choices were available to women. That’s why they always told me I could do anything and yes, still have a nice guy and family IF that’s what I wanted.

Sister Cee – Have you tried that Ginger Almond Oatmeal soap at Trader Joes? It is wonderful! The Tea Tree Tingle body wash is very refreshing too. Try the Pineapple Salsa, over by the chips, if you have not already. It’s great on grilled shrimp & chicken.

Melo

May 12th, 2009
2:28 pm

MELO…it cracks me up when can tell sombody how easy it is to be submissive when then have never and will never do it themselves! SMDH!

Staceye I will let you know when I grow my own Pudsysy.I be ready to submit. :lol:

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:28 pm

Cee

I blame Joe!!! While your at it, hit him too! Do it before you hand it Zaza.

He is the quietest All Star. Dennis Scott was talking about on 790 earlier. Joe is the all star with the lowest free throw attempts. It is because is rarely takes it to the rim. He loves to shoot floaters, though. That won’t get you the calls.

On a serious note, Dennis admitted that he and Joe had a long talk last night. During Joe’s last season in Phoenix, he went in for a junk and got fouled, hit the floor face first and broke some bones in his face. I remember that because he wore a mask playing against the Spurs. Apparently, that experience has made him a little tentative to go to the rim like he did before that injury. I am not kidding one bit.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:31 pm

Sniper

So your son’s father is a Bengals fan huh? And I thought I went through some suffering

In the famous words of LaWanda Page (from Sanford and Son) “Watch it Sucka!!”…lol

That’s my former team….I was on their practice squad during the nineties.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:33 pm

@Kimmie The salsay i have tried.

But sis, if you suggest that i purchase one more tranquil body soap, lotion, scrub or any of that. When my skin is punctured from not being tough AT ALL, i’m going to explode. while gleaming. You are truly my sister from another mister.

I love stuff like that. I will keep those in mind. they had candles on sale. And i bought Virgil’s Root Beer, and just a whole lotta junk!!!

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:36 pm

Cee

One more thing….I got much respect for ‘Bron. He didn’t do a lot of whining. As a matter of fact, I heard from the wifey that he mention that Cleveland was whining to much when he talked to Reggie…uh I mean ..Cheryl Miller (Lord, knows you don’t see them in the same place often and they look almost too much alike) at halftime.

He got hit across the head on one play. Then got up and calmly hit the free throws. Gotta respect that.

Josh..on the other hand got a technical foul, and could have gotten more because he wouldn’t shut up to the Refs. I think that is why quit going to the basket because he didn’t get the calls.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:39 pm

Got some sun dried tomato chicken sausage, and mango and apple chicken sausage too.

Now i know what’s for dinner. :)

PoppaG – He broke his face? Gud Lawd!

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:39 pm

Cee

Well, since you went to Trader Joe’s instead of Home Depot, I can’t hate that.

I love their bagged popcorns, especially the sweet one.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:40 pm

Cee

Yeah, he broke his face. Just like Rip Hamilton.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
2:40 pm

Love your team lose or lose. I can only laugh at that statement :lol:

DJ – I became a fan when I bought my first house here. I’m from Cleveland and when the Browns left, I was without a team. I didn’t get with the ‘new’ Browns so when I started paying property taxes in Atlanta, I adopted the teams. I still root for the Cavs though, just didn’t want the Hawks to get swept.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
2:41 pm

English Girl…(said like Martin) You Go Gurl…(here are you free Hawks tkts)…KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

I RESPECT a woman with a strong opinion, but I RESPECT HER MORE, WHEN SHE KNOWS WHEN TO TURN IT OFF!!!

DJ…Bruh!!! I had tears running down my eye and you should have seen my short a$$ trying to hide from the wind…(picture this)…bike is a ‘Busa, I am 5′3..so the reach is long…my helmet was touching the bubble (wind screen)…my arm tuck to the side of the tank and my feet on the passenger pegs…

My boy thought the bike was riding itself, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA…I was trying to hide for real fo reel!!

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
2:41 pm

Sister Cee – I’ve been curious about that Root Beer. I get the Triple Ginger Snaps sometimes, for myself and one of my neighbors that is going thru chemo, you know ginger settles the stomach.

Next time you go, let me know and I’ll meet you – describe myself & tell you what I’m wearing so you’ll know me!:)

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:42 pm

Poppa, I didn’t know u played pro ball. How long were you in the league, and how was the overall experience?

Now that you mention it, I do remember Joe Johnson playing with a mask during his last year with the Suns. That’s interesting that his experience with broken face bones may have made him gun shy about going to the rim. That needs to change.

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
2:43 pm

Cemeeli who had candles on sale?

LIONESS-Finished Cooking

May 12th, 2009
2:45 pm

Demi- You are 5′3 for REAL?

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:45 pm

Sniper

I think that a lot of natives which Kym is have issues that in the late 80s that Falcons threatened to leave Atlanta and move to Jacksonville (Jaguars didn’t exist then)if they didn’t get a new stadium. That new stadium became the GA Dome. Before that they played in Atlanta-Fulton County stadium, and shared it with the Braves.

How can a team that hasn’t even had winning records in 2 consecutive season make demands like that ? (They still haven’t had winning records in 2 consecutive seasons, ever!)

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:46 pm

I have ….nevermind… LeBron looks good in a suit, though.

PoppaG Nah, i didn’t say Bron whines. I’m just saying, the officals are so WRONG!

J-Smoove is the same as he is off court. i ain’t got a unsavory discourse about him. He’s just young.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:46 pm

Tazzee, how did I miss that “lose or lose” part? I think she did that on purpose. lol Anyway, I nominate your place for cookouts during the 2009 season. I’ll be more than happy to man the grill. lol

LMAO@ Demi’s experience on the bike last night!!!!!!! 5′3″ on a Busa huh? I know your boy was getting a good laugh off of that huh? lol

Kym

May 12th, 2009
2:47 pm

@Poppa G Cheryl has better teeth than Reggie that’s how you tell. I like her much better without the braids.

@DJ yes he was all about the Bungals. Sorry PoppaG my son’s family are still Bungals fans..and Falcons fans.(No accounting for taste)

I wonder if I can hit the lotto and go to the game at Heniz Field on Sept 10. Now that would be classic!!!

@ RandyT sorry but short guys have complexes.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:48 pm

Heinz Field is nice.

I am a fan of outdoor stadium for football.

Lord Velonese

May 12th, 2009
2:50 pm

Well, I have no problem with a woman being dominant in a relationship, ONLY if the roles are reversed. Meaning instead of me wining and dining, pampering, pedestaling, and being the initiator of the relationship the woman should do so. I would imagine most women would cringe at the thought of that lmfao. (Ducks and covers after that one) Otherwise unless the guy doesn’t want to be, he should be allowed to be and it should 50/50 or 100/100 no more, no less period. The silence issue can back fire in ones face if you’re not careful, you’d probably want to play that one by ear.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:52 pm

Poppa, I didn’t know that the Falcons had thought about leaving the city unless they got a new stadium. You learn something new every day. I do believe, though, that this year we will finally get rid of that stigma of never having back to back winning seasons.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
2:53 pm

@PoppaG Tell em’ why I’m mad son!!! Sorry sapsuckers. How you going say we leaving if we don’t get a new stadium..Man let me help you pack. Take I-20 and head for the line..Alabama, Mississippi, Heck join up with the Aints.. threating somebody..please who are you!!??? Sorry flashback.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
2:54 pm

Ahhh but Kym, you would be amazed at what a short guy can do with a tall lady in heels who is standing up, if he is sitting on a short stool!!! LOL.

Hellz…meet RandyT…RandyT meet Hellz…LOL

You where wrong for that post, HAHAHAHAHA.

(That’s my former team….I was on their practice squad during the nineties)

Don’t be telling them kids at the Boys’n'Girl Club, that scary aZZ story, PG…LOL

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:54 pm

Raqi – Trader.

I got another bag too. I like that lil place. I need to do something with this crunchy almond butter though.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:58 pm

Kym, not all short dudes have complexes. At 5′9″, I don’t consider myself short, but at the same time, my height has never been a hinderance when it comes to dating, nor have I ever let it bug me in any other aspect of life. I can understand women wanting to date men taller than them. It only irritates me when I hear midget ass women talkin’ bout, “I ain’t dating a dude unless he’s 6′3″ and above!” Sit yo short ass down somewhere! lol

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:58 pm

Cee

Yeah, I know that he is just young. The between the legs dunk attempt exemplified that. Playing for his hometown probably makes him feel more pressure since the hometeam has had more bad years than good ones.

I’ve seen him on Northside a few times. I guessed that those were the times that he was leaving Philips Arena.

I am just tired of him and Coach Woodson bumping heads. They have gotten into a real physical altercation on at least one occasion. Bibby screamed at Coach Woodson last night before half time. Woodson got on Bibby for passing it to Josh (who proceeded to take a long jumper). Bibby screamed back that Woodson should take Josh of the f-ing floor then because Cavs weren’t covering him so he got the ball.

Melo

May 12th, 2009
3:02 pm

Short guys have other redeeming qualities tho….they pack it dwn there, a lot of times.
It wld be nice, in this dating game if females profiles were known be4 hand.Coz men dont verbalize that much but they do know what they want.
W or T,D or M/S wld be good additions to female profiling.Every male wld know which one to approach.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:05 pm

Sniper

The NFL experience was great IMO.

I got paid well. Not as well as the active players, but I wasn’t eating Ramen noodles either.

Getting paid well to play a kid’s game. That is thing that dreams are made of. No 9 to 5. It was demanding (My ankle will pop with every step that I make for the rest of my life and it has pins in it) but rewarding as well.

I was in the league for 6 seasons. 4 of them with Cincy. One with the “Skins in DC. (Meeting Bruce Smith was special) and part of another with Miami.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
3:07 pm

@DJ Sniper…I was just playing with Kym but I am also just 5′9″ and it has never been a problem for me…if she is taller, without bending down I can kiss her right on the…ahhh never mind.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
3:08 pm

I know where you sat/set.

PoppaG

Okay, yeah the altercations can get very VOCAL an/or physical. At the right time in a game you’d think they all are for themselves not the team. Especially going in the corridor to the locker rooms….whoa

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
3:11 pm

Hey Demi…just having some flashbacks to some interesting times in the kitchen floor. How is Lil Demi?

Mo (aka Moeisha- looking for a new haircut)

May 12th, 2009
3:13 pm

I know Im late Cemeeli but I would’ve joined you for lunch! Except I come in at 10 so lunch for me isnt til 2! But I dont go to Trader Joe’s often so I always relish it!

Kym – I am so glad some else uses “Sap Sucka” other than me….

PoppaG – i was so upset to see Fulton County stadium go…. :o (

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:18 pm

Kym

i was so upset to see Fulton County stadium go…. :o (

Yeah, you and Jerry Rice loved that place… :lol:

We were in the NFL west back then and played the 49ers twice a year. Charles Dimry should introduce him at his Hall of Fame induction..lol

Just kidding (a little).. that place was where Hank passed Babe and where the Braves won this City’s ONLY championship. Plus, I think that football should be played outdoors. I mean if Buffalo and Green Bay can do it, so can Atlanta, GA.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:19 pm

The 3:13 was meant for Mo.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
3:21 pm

@PoppaG did you learn to use a transcribtion machine in paralegal training? Oh yeah and its official..I have checked out on criminal litigation. On to Family and Administrative Law.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
3:22 pm

I mean transcribing machine with the foot pedal.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
3:22 pm

Randyt…LOL, all to the good. On Li’Demi, his mom who is newly married, ask that I not be in his life any more.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
3:26 pm

On Li’Demi, his mom who is newly married, ask that I not be in his life any more.

Huh?

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
3:27 pm

Kym – I’ll pass on that outdoor stadium business. Shoot, that’s why I never went to a Browns game growing up – every time someone had a ticket for me it was like 0 defreeze outside. Then going to Jacksonville in September helped me see the other side of the coin.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
3:27 pm

Mo I’ll be going back soon, prolly.

TazzeeS meet me there ans she bought that famous case of wine for all the next cook-outs, and picnics. She’s the Wine connoisseur and she said getting it by the case at Trader is cheaper than going to a Wine store. While, I was buying JUNK!!! For me and the kids!

LIONESS-Finished Cooking

May 12th, 2009
3:28 pm

Melo-That comment about short men packing is BULLISH!!! Carryon

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:28 pm

Kym

did you learn to use a transcribtion machine in paralegal training?

That things is the Devil!!! I’ve suppressed the memories of the bloody machine deep in the recesses of my brain! They are coming back to my consciousness. I am now quite despondent remembering my experience with that thing

We really hated that thing. I put it to you this way….The paralegals broke down and just bought voice recognition software (out of our own pockets) that will put the words that the attorney speak on their computer screen.

I lost so much time working on that thing. There was nothing like transcribing a document and then hearing the words “strike all of the last two paragraphs” and him starting over.

LIONESS-Finished Cooking

May 12th, 2009
3:29 pm

Cee- What do you put almond butter on? Is it like reg butter? I am going tomorrow

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
3:30 pm

Lioness – Yep, bull!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
3:31 pm

Demi, man I am sorry. It was really great to see someone “step up” like you did when so many will not even take care of their own responsibilities. I hope her knew mate will follow in your shoes.

Alvin

May 12th, 2009
3:31 pm

She felt my parenting skills were lack…never mind he has made huge progress while living with me. His mom didn’t like the direction I was taking Li’Demi, even though it meant I was preparing him for the future…a bright future at that.

The last thing she said to me…”Alvin, you never had a father in your life, what make you think you know anything about being one?”

Mo (aka Moeisha- looking for a new haircut)

May 12th, 2009
3:32 pm

Cemeeli/Tazzee – okay i need to meet up with ya’ll for a Trader Joe’s visit! LOL! I need a wine connoisseur and I need some junk for me and Lil Mo. And how about he is an X-Men fan now!!

PoppaG – since I was in the Marching band, we marched many occasions at FCS…add the memories you mentioned and I just hated to see it go. :0(

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:32 pm

his mom who is newly married, ask that I not be in his life any more.

That is some foul ish!! That is the kind of stuff that really makes me want to practice family law and represent Men only!!

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
3:32 pm

Almond butter is great!

Lioness I use it for apple, raw veggies and such. Then somedays when i really feel like i wanna explode. I just take the jar, and grab me a scoop in a spoon, and eat it alone.

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
3:33 pm

Demi you should have told her she has never been a mother before so what makes her think she knows how to be a mother. (LOL That’s if lil Demi is her first)

Alvin

May 12th, 2009
3:35 pm

That night was the first time anyone in her knew I wasn’t his biological father.

Thing happen…life will go on.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
3:35 pm

So sorry Alvin.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:36 pm

Mo

I went to FCS many times as well.

The 80s, when the Braves really stunk, I got to run around on the field after the game. Chief Knockahoma and all that were memories. Watching the “great” Claudell Washington play center field and Watching Billy “White Shoes” Johnson dance.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
3:36 pm

Lioness – It’s like peanut butter, only better for you. I love it too, Cee.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
3:37 pm

“Thing happen…life will go on”

Yeah but still sucks. You made a difference though, at a critical time in his life. My hat (if I wore one) is off to you.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:37 pm

Is the almond butter like that spread that Einstein Bagels sells to go on their bagels?

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
3:38 pm

I wasn’t his biological father

Wow Demi I am sorry to hear that.

Demigod33

May 12th, 2009
3:40 pm

While your bro was hurting like hellz these past few month…

(thinking to self)

I am the Demigod, Bish!!!

And I am here to ride this thing call life until the wheels fall off…

(I have just a flat tire right now, LOL)

I am out!!

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
3:42 pm

What, Kimmie said. :)

I buy Skippy PB for the kid, and i eat the $5 dolla Almond Butter, Almond milk, trail mix, soy, naked juice, chicken sausage, organic veggies, meats, ect…

The kid is happy with goods/treats from Publix. Anytime I visit Trader or Whole Foods, he typically never asks for their snacks. I offered hime some organic fruit snacks one day, and he gagged when he ate them.

Never doing that again. Now he does like the Root Beer…to make floats.

Alvin You miss that lil man. Keep you head up. I am SO sorry!

LIONESS-Wondering..

May 12th, 2009
3:46 pm

Cee & Kimmie- I will try it :)

Alvin & Demi is the same person.. Right? Making sure I am not going BANNANNNAASSSS..

Melo

May 12th, 2009
3:47 pm

Cuttie,well Demi/Alvin is like 3 ft 2 but he got a Cobra in dere.He can tell u all about it….(aint that right bwa???) :grin:

Kym

May 12th, 2009
3:47 pm

Okayyyyyy transcribing machine bad! Got it.

Sorry to hear that Alvin.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:51 pm

Kym

Okayyyyyy transcribing machine bad! Got it

I, for one, do NOT miss that thing.

I guess that you have to have an attorney that knows how to do things ahead to time so he doesn’t waste your time.

I never had one of those.

But, it was good experience for me because I will appreciate the person who will hear transcribe my stuff. I will appreciate their time.

LIONESS-Wondering while eating Yogurt

May 12th, 2009
3:53 pm

Melo- HUH? What you know about another mans package?

Demi/Alvin- Lil ones momma is a FOOL!!

Melo

May 12th, 2009
3:54 pm

Lioness – Yep, bull!

Kimmie, ur man is short too??But he aint endowed like what i said…. :oops:

Im sorry Kimmie but he a good man, right??

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
3:55 pm

Demi… The one most important thing one can give a child is His/her time. There is a generation of kids out there that do not know what that is anymore. You gave him something his biological father (or is that sperm donor) did not and that cannot be replaced.

Melo

May 12th, 2009
3:57 pm

Cuttie, he was peeing at the party we attended tgether and came out of the loo holding it and his hands kinda shaking..he was kinda tossed with the gin/vodka,thats how i know.

LIONESS-Wondering while eating Yogurt

May 12th, 2009
4:00 pm

Melo-Sounds good!

Johnson size depends on the individual.. Big to one person may be average to another..

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
4:00 pm

oh Zee boo-boo Meloooo.
YOu usually have something “quick” and witty to say at around 4:59, like you did yesturday.

Don’t wait today. :)

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:07 pm

Big to one person may be average to another..
But what are u Cuttie..W,T,D,M or S???

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:08 pm

Cee, plz talk to ur sis….shes too tight with the flow.
We need a partey…

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
4:09 pm

Melo – I assumed you made the assumption about “packages” based on yourself. I always got the feeling you were short too, because you read like you really have to overcompensate. But like Lioness said, what you know about other dude’s “packages”? LOL!!

Where did you get the idea my man was short? Even though I’m only 5′5″, I’m like Kym about the short dudes attitudes. I gave 2 a chance and they both had a serious case of Napoleon complex. Never again.LOL!!

But all anyone needs to know about my SO is that he’s perfect for ME and does it for me just by walking into a room. Other than that, no discussions about his physical attributes.

And not just a good man, a GREAT man!

Demigod33

May 12th, 2009
4:11 pm

kimmie/Kym/RandyT/Raqi/cee…I am grateful I’ve lay a great foundation in his life and that all that matters. More importantly, these pass four year have been a blessing and an eye opener about who I am as a Man.

( li’Demi force me to grow up…I will see him again in the future…There is a God.)

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:21 pm

you were short too, because you read like you really have to overcompensate

Mandingo with small package??? Kimmie,the zulus wld stone that kid to death at birth.Its like a family curse.
Heres what i know about females who demand package dimensions:they want to compensate for their vjay de=imensions.
Wides prefer thick packages,Tights prefer thin packages and Deeps prefer Longs.
U see a thin,slim, tall chick with a laquacious dude,with legs kinda looking like a bicycle handle bars,as if he got sme tween his leggs,u know st8 away, she runs real Deep!! :grin:

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
4:21 pm

Tazzee, is a miser. Just like some of “us”, Melo. We learn well.

Cheap/frugal/ <– yes sir.

If i can, i’ll buy store brand, and skimp on some of lifes leisures so that other sacrifices won’t be such a hardship.

My eldest Aunt it turning 70 on the 24th. I’m thinking of taking the Amtrak so that my son can experience that. He doesn’t care to go (she lives in Philly) and he really wants to take a flight, but i want to take a train so that we can converse all those hours, about these changes and my transitioning into this relationship. Which is (hush Tazzee will become full-fledge this summer.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
4:21 pm

LIONESS…that may be so, but who I am I to judge. That’s not my place.

( Did I just type that? The power of prayers I tell ya, LOL )

RandyT…Thanks for the t-shirt, bruh!

( Demi now proudly wears his: “Been There Done That” t-shirt while doing the “Cabbage Patch”…into the “Kid’n'Play”…quickly followed by the “Moon Walk” )

LIONESS

May 12th, 2009
4:24 pm

Melo- They don’t believe in male circumcision in your country but believe in female circumcision.. Right?

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
4:24 pm

Alvin – Who’s to say (but God) that the “season” you had with lil Demi was an assignment to return to you whole.

He will never forget you, trust that. He will look you up and share some heartfelt things with you in due season.

Think – “Assignment”.

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:25 pm

Ur relationship is transitioning,and i aint seem that man to put my seal..u wrong for that.
I may have to host a mixer then for that house,but wait a minute,maybe that man shld do it then.Whatchu think CEE???

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
4:32 pm

Melo – I love going toe to toe with you! You’re funny!LOL!!

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
4:35 pm

Melo – I will be throwing the “mixers” alright.

Party of 2.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
4:36 pm

Tazzee, I’m with you on the outdoor stadium thing. Although I would love to go to an outdoor game at some point, I absolutely abhor cold weather with a passion. The few times I’ve been to a Falcons game when the weather was less than pleasant, I was very grateful for having a domed stadium. Screw that sitting in freezing temperature nonsens. lol

Poppa, that’s cool you were able to get yourself financially set by playing pro football. From the way you talk, it sounds like you were able to walk away with your health pretty much intact. I’m sure you would much rather deal with a popping ankle as opposed to the ailments that some former players have to live with.

Demi, let me see if I read you right: You were with a woman who already had a child, you became a father figure, and when she remarried, she told you that she didn’t want you in his life anymore. Is that correct? speaks volumes about how trifling she is.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
4:38 pm

Melo…wow…( you see kids, porn is a helluva drug, LOL )

Cemeeli…yeah, all I know li’Demi saved me from myself. I was wild in these days. My number was almost up.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
4:40 pm

This discussion gets me to thinking about a short guy I dated years ago while in grad school. The one that was insecure about my “future” earning potential. Someone mentioned earlier today about some sick men from other countries that like prepubescent girls. Well this particular guy used to also complain about my womanly curves and I wondered why. I figured it out when I saw a picture of his ex-girlfriend that he was still hung up on. She had no butt or chest, built like a skinny 10 yr old boy almost, not like any other AA woman I’d seen and she was about 27 at the time. I told him he wasn’t used to a real woman! It made him mad, but we were broken up by then!LOL!!

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:42 pm

They don’t believe in male circumcision in your country but believe in female circumcision.. Right?

Cuttie,female circumcision is done in muslim countries like parts of Kenya,Tanzania,sudan etc etc not south africa.None that i know of.
I luv my labias on ladies,too too much,i wld go to war for any lady to keep theres :grin:

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:44 pm

@DJ Sniper u luv falcons and football.So does Tazzee.U say u married?? sorry dude, u missse don a good girl.
In case u divorce, i may need to pre-qualify u:
Do u have long nails….?? :grin:

Professor

May 12th, 2009
4:46 pm

Demi, my heart goes out to you. One thing is for sure, he will remember you and the memories, and one day he will make his own decisions and I am sure he will decide on hanging out wit you again.

PG- As a native of Atlanta (yes born and raised) I thought I was the only one remembering FCS with the Chief and Dale Murphy. Oh I used to love going to see the football games too. I am sitting here smiling on my childhood as I go back down memory lane. Whew! Those were the good old days for me, no problems or worries. Just chilling with my Daddy.

Cee- you got me wanting to try this Almond butter I am going to Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s on Saturday to pick up a few things…I usually go to down to the one in Midtown and the Whole Foods on Ponce.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
4:46 pm

kimmie – Girl, imma do you like my sweet does me.

Gal, go si’dine somewhere! Pedophile-wanna-be, caint get with the curvaceous sister could he. He did not know what to do with all that.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
4:48 pm

DJ Sniper…hey hey heeeeey, don’t remind me, LOL. I honest think her husband had more to do with it. It’ll put it this way, his son was dang near calling me daddy. Kid just go were the love is. the dude doesn’t seem like the emotionally avilable type…( Most women love the hell outta those cats, I am glad SOME don’t )

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
4:49 pm

Jamoca Auh. Okay, imma leee you ‘lone.

Curvacious…curvaceoussness..ssss…cafiltha-…

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:49 pm

guy used to also complain about my womanly curves and I wondered why

Kimmie,u have said a lot many times about ur loot,u must pack a real big engine,like the old vw car,remember those.U mind if i see that trunk?? :lol:

Demi

May 12th, 2009
4:50 pm

Professor…thanks

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
4:51 pm

Do u have long nails….?? :lol: melo, I’m flattered that you pay attention to my posts…but you forgot to ask about the teeth too ;-)

LIONESS

May 12th, 2009
4:51 pm

Melo- LMAO!! I just cut my nails silly.. So, since you are from South Africa, do they circumcize their boy children?

LIONESS

May 12th, 2009
4:52 pm

Kimmie- He was GROSS and I am GLAD you told him that!

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
4:53 pm

Professor – I’m a native as well.

Holla if ya hear me! :lol: 3

The one on Ponce has horrible parking. When i worked for Affairs to Remember i would frequent that location. But now i just OTP.

_______________________________

I was just delivered a belated Mother’s Day gift. Do i need to speak to one of the blog folk?

How sweet!

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
4:53 pm

Melo – I’m not big, but not skinny either.

Cee – That’s what you get when you mess with a shorty! Don’t ever want to go there again!

Have a great evening!

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
4:54 pm

Lioness – Maybe an aspiring pedophile?

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:56 pm

Some do, i did same to my boy,but here at piedmont.
Believe it or not, i wasnt circum at birth but was bitten by a bee at the spot, whilst heading cattle with other boys.And that did the trick 4 me,as far as circumcission goes.

Tazzee, i was going there slowly.
Didnt wanna shock the brother and make him run.
U know when teeth are jacked up, a person knows and feels it. :grin:

LIONESS

May 12th, 2009
4:58 pm

Cee-I believe so.. SAD :(