accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Path of least resistance

Yesterday, author Maryann Reid provided an interesting perspective about the submissive role that some women could take in relationships. Today, I wanted to wrap that discussion up with another interesting concept she discussed in an article, “How to Control Your Relationship through Silence”. I fully admit that the control freak in me was drawn to “control your relationship” part. However, after reading further, I realized that was not the point.

She wrote that she was referring to “women who live in ’silence’ with confidence and a quiet ambition” as it pertains to the submissive role:

You cannot force a man to accept your submission.  He has to be a man secure enough to carry the relationship and would most likely be more experienced than you in this area, whereas, he would not abuse it or overplay his hand.  Too many men think they can handle this.  Who can’t handle a quiet, submissive woman? Any man who asks that is NOT the man to be with in this kind of relationship.

The silence I’m speaking of is not vocal silence.  It’s a silence based on trust.  It’s a silence of the mind, where you are emotionally still from controlling every aspect of the relationship.

Her silence contributes to a sense of security and safety in the relationship for both.  This is not a 50/50 relationship, but two whole parts 100/100.  Their bond is like no other relationship because she is completely owned by him and dominated by him.  Her silence sustains the domination until she stops being silent.

I know some of you have no desire whatsoever in the submissive/dominance concept in relationships. I just think it’s a worthwhile discussion in our modern times because it relates to the traditions that many of us have abandoned. Do you think there is a way to make some of these traditions work in today’s society?

Ladies, have you ever found that silence (not the same as the cold shoulder) is a great way to handle relationship problems? Is it about picking your battles so that when you do speak on an issue, your man actually pays attention because you haven’t nagged and argued about every other little thing?

Guys, you have always said that you are simple creatures, is this part of the same thing? In your experience, do you respond to the “path of least resistance” in a relationship? Are you intrigued by women who use silence as an actual form of communication and submission?

Ladies, Maryann Reid is offering a FREE crash course about How To Be An Alpha-Female with empowering tips via email for the home, bedroom, boardroom and beyond- especially for you!

274 comments Add your comment

Melo

May 12th, 2009
3:02 pm

Short guys have other redeeming qualities tho….they pack it dwn there, a lot of times.
It wld be nice, in this dating game if females profiles were known be4 hand.Coz men dont verbalize that much but they do know what they want.
W or T,D or M/S wld be good additions to female profiling.Every male wld know which one to approach.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:05 pm

Sniper

The NFL experience was great IMO.

I got paid well. Not as well as the active players, but I wasn’t eating Ramen noodles either.

Getting paid well to play a kid’s game. That is thing that dreams are made of. No 9 to 5. It was demanding (My ankle will pop with every step that I make for the rest of my life and it has pins in it) but rewarding as well.

I was in the league for 6 seasons. 4 of them with Cincy. One with the “Skins in DC. (Meeting Bruce Smith was special) and part of another with Miami.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
3:07 pm

@DJ Sniper…I was just playing with Kym but I am also just 5′9″ and it has never been a problem for me…if she is taller, without bending down I can kiss her right on the…ahhh never mind.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
3:08 pm

I know where you sat/set.

PoppaG

Okay, yeah the altercations can get very VOCAL an/or physical. At the right time in a game you’d think they all are for themselves not the team. Especially going in the corridor to the locker rooms….whoa

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
3:11 pm

Hey Demi…just having some flashbacks to some interesting times in the kitchen floor. How is Lil Demi?

Mo (aka Moeisha- looking for a new haircut)

May 12th, 2009
3:13 pm

I know Im late Cemeeli but I would’ve joined you for lunch! Except I come in at 10 so lunch for me isnt til 2! But I dont go to Trader Joe’s often so I always relish it!

Kym – I am so glad some else uses “Sap Sucka” other than me….

PoppaG – i was so upset to see Fulton County stadium go…. :o (

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:18 pm

Kym

i was so upset to see Fulton County stadium go…. :o (

Yeah, you and Jerry Rice loved that place… :lol:

We were in the NFL west back then and played the 49ers twice a year. Charles Dimry should introduce him at his Hall of Fame induction..lol

Just kidding (a little).. that place was where Hank passed Babe and where the Braves won this City’s ONLY championship. Plus, I think that football should be played outdoors. I mean if Buffalo and Green Bay can do it, so can Atlanta, GA.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:19 pm

The 3:13 was meant for Mo.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
3:21 pm

@PoppaG did you learn to use a transcribtion machine in paralegal training? Oh yeah and its official..I have checked out on criminal litigation. On to Family and Administrative Law.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
3:22 pm

I mean transcribing machine with the foot pedal.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
3:22 pm

Randyt…LOL, all to the good. On Li’Demi, his mom who is newly married, ask that I not be in his life any more.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
3:26 pm

On Li’Demi, his mom who is newly married, ask that I not be in his life any more.

Huh?

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
3:27 pm

Kym – I’ll pass on that outdoor stadium business. Shoot, that’s why I never went to a Browns game growing up – every time someone had a ticket for me it was like 0 defreeze outside. Then going to Jacksonville in September helped me see the other side of the coin.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
3:27 pm

Mo I’ll be going back soon, prolly.

TazzeeS meet me there ans she bought that famous case of wine for all the next cook-outs, and picnics. She’s the Wine connoisseur and she said getting it by the case at Trader is cheaper than going to a Wine store. While, I was buying JUNK!!! For me and the kids!

LIONESS-Finished Cooking

May 12th, 2009
3:28 pm

Melo-That comment about short men packing is BULLISH!!! Carryon

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:28 pm

Kym

did you learn to use a transcribtion machine in paralegal training?

That things is the Devil!!! I’ve suppressed the memories of the bloody machine deep in the recesses of my brain! They are coming back to my consciousness. I am now quite despondent remembering my experience with that thing

We really hated that thing. I put it to you this way….The paralegals broke down and just bought voice recognition software (out of our own pockets) that will put the words that the attorney speak on their computer screen.

I lost so much time working on that thing. There was nothing like transcribing a document and then hearing the words “strike all of the last two paragraphs” and him starting over.

LIONESS-Finished Cooking

May 12th, 2009
3:29 pm

Cee- What do you put almond butter on? Is it like reg butter? I am going tomorrow

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
3:30 pm

Lioness – Yep, bull!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
3:31 pm

Demi, man I am sorry. It was really great to see someone “step up” like you did when so many will not even take care of their own responsibilities. I hope her knew mate will follow in your shoes.

Alvin

May 12th, 2009
3:31 pm

She felt my parenting skills were lack…never mind he has made huge progress while living with me. His mom didn’t like the direction I was taking Li’Demi, even though it meant I was preparing him for the future…a bright future at that.

The last thing she said to me…”Alvin, you never had a father in your life, what make you think you know anything about being one?”

Mo (aka Moeisha- looking for a new haircut)

May 12th, 2009
3:32 pm

Cemeeli/Tazzee – okay i need to meet up with ya’ll for a Trader Joe’s visit! LOL! I need a wine connoisseur and I need some junk for me and Lil Mo. And how about he is an X-Men fan now!!

PoppaG – since I was in the Marching band, we marched many occasions at FCS…add the memories you mentioned and I just hated to see it go. :0(

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:32 pm

his mom who is newly married, ask that I not be in his life any more.

That is some foul ish!! That is the kind of stuff that really makes me want to practice family law and represent Men only!!

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
3:32 pm

Almond butter is great!

Lioness I use it for apple, raw veggies and such. Then somedays when i really feel like i wanna explode. I just take the jar, and grab me a scoop in a spoon, and eat it alone.

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
3:33 pm

Demi you should have told her she has never been a mother before so what makes her think she knows how to be a mother. (LOL That’s if lil Demi is her first)

Alvin

May 12th, 2009
3:35 pm

That night was the first time anyone in her knew I wasn’t his biological father.

Thing happen…life will go on.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
3:35 pm

So sorry Alvin.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:36 pm

Mo

I went to FCS many times as well.

The 80s, when the Braves really stunk, I got to run around on the field after the game. Chief Knockahoma and all that were memories. Watching the “great” Claudell Washington play center field and Watching Billy “White Shoes” Johnson dance.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
3:36 pm

Lioness – It’s like peanut butter, only better for you. I love it too, Cee.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
3:37 pm

“Thing happen…life will go on”

Yeah but still sucks. You made a difference though, at a critical time in his life. My hat (if I wore one) is off to you.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:37 pm

Is the almond butter like that spread that Einstein Bagels sells to go on their bagels?

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
3:38 pm

I wasn’t his biological father

Wow Demi I am sorry to hear that.

Demigod33

May 12th, 2009
3:40 pm

While your bro was hurting like hellz these past few month…

(thinking to self)

I am the Demigod, Bish!!!

And I am here to ride this thing call life until the wheels fall off…

(I have just a flat tire right now, LOL)

I am out!!

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
3:42 pm

What, Kimmie said. :)

I buy Skippy PB for the kid, and i eat the $5 dolla Almond Butter, Almond milk, trail mix, soy, naked juice, chicken sausage, organic veggies, meats, ect…

The kid is happy with goods/treats from Publix. Anytime I visit Trader or Whole Foods, he typically never asks for their snacks. I offered hime some organic fruit snacks one day, and he gagged when he ate them.

Never doing that again. Now he does like the Root Beer…to make floats.

Alvin You miss that lil man. Keep you head up. I am SO sorry!

LIONESS-Wondering..

May 12th, 2009
3:46 pm

Cee & Kimmie- I will try it :)

Alvin & Demi is the same person.. Right? Making sure I am not going BANNANNNAASSSS..

Melo

May 12th, 2009
3:47 pm

Cuttie,well Demi/Alvin is like 3 ft 2 but he got a Cobra in dere.He can tell u all about it….(aint that right bwa???) :grin:

Kym

May 12th, 2009
3:47 pm

Okayyyyyy transcribing machine bad! Got it.

Sorry to hear that Alvin.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
3:51 pm

Kym

Okayyyyyy transcribing machine bad! Got it

I, for one, do NOT miss that thing.

I guess that you have to have an attorney that knows how to do things ahead to time so he doesn’t waste your time.

I never had one of those.

But, it was good experience for me because I will appreciate the person who will hear transcribe my stuff. I will appreciate their time.

LIONESS-Wondering while eating Yogurt

May 12th, 2009
3:53 pm

Melo- HUH? What you know about another mans package?

Demi/Alvin- Lil ones momma is a FOOL!!

Melo

May 12th, 2009
3:54 pm

Lioness – Yep, bull!

Kimmie, ur man is short too??But he aint endowed like what i said…. :oops:

Im sorry Kimmie but he a good man, right??

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
3:55 pm

Demi… The one most important thing one can give a child is His/her time. There is a generation of kids out there that do not know what that is anymore. You gave him something his biological father (or is that sperm donor) did not and that cannot be replaced.

Melo

May 12th, 2009
3:57 pm

Cuttie, he was peeing at the party we attended tgether and came out of the loo holding it and his hands kinda shaking..he was kinda tossed with the gin/vodka,thats how i know.

LIONESS-Wondering while eating Yogurt

May 12th, 2009
4:00 pm

Melo-Sounds good!

Johnson size depends on the individual.. Big to one person may be average to another..

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
4:00 pm

oh Zee boo-boo Meloooo.
YOu usually have something “quick” and witty to say at around 4:59, like you did yesturday.

Don’t wait today. :)

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:07 pm

Big to one person may be average to another..
But what are u Cuttie..W,T,D,M or S???

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:08 pm

Cee, plz talk to ur sis….shes too tight with the flow.
We need a partey…

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
4:09 pm

Melo – I assumed you made the assumption about “packages” based on yourself. I always got the feeling you were short too, because you read like you really have to overcompensate. But like Lioness said, what you know about other dude’s “packages”? LOL!!

Where did you get the idea my man was short? Even though I’m only 5′5″, I’m like Kym about the short dudes attitudes. I gave 2 a chance and they both had a serious case of Napoleon complex. Never again.LOL!!

But all anyone needs to know about my SO is that he’s perfect for ME and does it for me just by walking into a room. Other than that, no discussions about his physical attributes.

And not just a good man, a GREAT man!

Demigod33

May 12th, 2009
4:11 pm

kimmie/Kym/RandyT/Raqi/cee…I am grateful I’ve lay a great foundation in his life and that all that matters. More importantly, these pass four year have been a blessing and an eye opener about who I am as a Man.

( li’Demi force me to grow up…I will see him again in the future…There is a God.)

Melo

May 12th, 2009
4:21 pm

you were short too, because you read like you really have to overcompensate

Mandingo with small package??? Kimmie,the zulus wld stone that kid to death at birth.Its like a family curse.
Heres what i know about females who demand package dimensions:they want to compensate for their vjay de=imensions.
Wides prefer thick packages,Tights prefer thin packages and Deeps prefer Longs.
U see a thin,slim, tall chick with a laquacious dude,with legs kinda looking like a bicycle handle bars,as if he got sme tween his leggs,u know st8 away, she runs real Deep!! :grin:

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
4:21 pm

Tazzee, is a miser. Just like some of “us”, Melo. We learn well.

Cheap/frugal/ <– yes sir.

If i can, i’ll buy store brand, and skimp on some of lifes leisures so that other sacrifices won’t be such a hardship.

My eldest Aunt it turning 70 on the 24th. I’m thinking of taking the Amtrak so that my son can experience that. He doesn’t care to go (she lives in Philly) and he really wants to take a flight, but i want to take a train so that we can converse all those hours, about these changes and my transitioning into this relationship. Which is (hush Tazzee will become full-fledge this summer.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
4:21 pm

LIONESS…that may be so, but who I am I to judge. That’s not my place.

( Did I just type that? The power of prayers I tell ya, LOL )

RandyT…Thanks for the t-shirt, bruh!

( Demi now proudly wears his: “Been There Done That” t-shirt while doing the “Cabbage Patch”…into the “Kid’n'Play”…quickly followed by the “Moon Walk” )