accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Path of least resistance

Yesterday, author Maryann Reid provided an interesting perspective about the submissive role that some women could take in relationships. Today, I wanted to wrap that discussion up with another interesting concept she discussed in an article, “How to Control Your Relationship through Silence”. I fully admit that the control freak in me was drawn to “control your relationship” part. However, after reading further, I realized that was not the point.

She wrote that she was referring to “women who live in ’silence’ with confidence and a quiet ambition” as it pertains to the submissive role:

You cannot force a man to accept your submission.  He has to be a man secure enough to carry the relationship and would most likely be more experienced than you in this area, whereas, he would not abuse it or overplay his hand.  Too many men think they can handle this.  Who can’t handle a quiet, submissive woman? Any man who asks that is NOT the man to be with in this kind of relationship.

The silence I’m speaking of is not vocal silence.  It’s a silence based on trust.  It’s a silence of the mind, where you are emotionally still from controlling every aspect of the relationship.

Her silence contributes to a sense of security and safety in the relationship for both.  This is not a 50/50 relationship, but two whole parts 100/100.  Their bond is like no other relationship because she is completely owned by him and dominated by him.  Her silence sustains the domination until she stops being silent.

I know some of you have no desire whatsoever in the submissive/dominance concept in relationships. I just think it’s a worthwhile discussion in our modern times because it relates to the traditions that many of us have abandoned. Do you think there is a way to make some of these traditions work in today’s society?

Ladies, have you ever found that silence (not the same as the cold shoulder) is a great way to handle relationship problems? Is it about picking your battles so that when you do speak on an issue, your man actually pays attention because you haven’t nagged and argued about every other little thing?

Guys, you have always said that you are simple creatures, is this part of the same thing? In your experience, do you respond to the “path of least resistance” in a relationship? Are you intrigued by women who use silence as an actual form of communication and submission?

Ladies, Maryann Reid is offering a FREE crash course about How To Be An Alpha-Female with empowering tips via email for the home, bedroom, boardroom and beyond- especially for you!

274 comments Add your comment

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:01 pm

Dang Demi, I know you were freezing your ass off last night riding in that chilly weather. lol

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 12th, 2009
2:01 pm

KYM..I agree with you when you mention your auntie. I hear from my grannies all the time if they had the opportunities back then that I had now that they probably either would have gotten a great aducation and then got married and had a family…or probably never would have. We look at our grandparents and thnink they have the great marriage because the of the amount of years they have been together. But a lot that I hear is isn’t so rosy. There were times when that man was cheating on them and worse…but due to the lack of opportunites for women, even more so for women of color and from another country…they had to stay. They said they remained silent and played submissive not because they wanted to but HAD to for survival. The whole wife/mother thing was all they had to look forward to in life. It seems like they loved their family..but wanted more out of life. So I take that as my inspiration NOT to be what society deems suitable for a woman…but to do what I want and to feel free to not be a slave to tradition. We know who set tradition…man!

KIMMIE…girl I agree 100% on your 10:30. I do not need AA men to give me my props. I give them to myself…and I get them from others. It seems like men of other races respect us more, speaking from my experiences. That is why I do not limit myself to AA only.

MELO…it cracks me up when can tell sombody how easy it is to be submissive when then have never and will never do it themselves! SMDH! I will say it again…don’t ask me to do something YOU would NOT do!

TRUTH,..the funny thing about those weak men who have to go overseas to find a “submissive” woman is…they end up getting drug through th mud for alimony, and stuff after tehy get their green card…is Sayonara sucka! So of course they will be azz kissers..until they get what they want. Then they can bring all the rest of the family here. Way to go genius! :lol:

IG…where da heck you been? :lol:

W8…so you are saying pacify her to keep her quiet?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
2:02 pm

Hey Demi…I guess when we say there are tons of women in Atlanta, that only means the first two or three anymore. Beats me, I guess a lot of them stored up for the long winter or something. What really does scare me is the size of the gals 16 thru 20, because it generally does not go but one direction from there.

Now me on the other hand, I am just going to get taller.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:02 pm

Cee

Bibby is my guy!

Well, I hope that he enjoy his stay here. He is a free agent this offseason. I can’t see giving him a ton of money for the what he is asking. He wants a 3 or 4 year deal. Unfortunately, we have a lot of money already tied up in Craig “The Walking Suit Mannequin” Claxton f/k/a Speedy. Acie Law, The Walking Suit, and Bibby…that is too much money tied up in PGs.

Especially when the 2010 free agent class will be really nice. The top three (LeBron, Kobe, D-Wade) players probably won’t go anywhere, but that would mean that there their teams would probably be out of the running for other good players. The curse of Billy Knight will linger for a while.

It probably would have been better for the team budget if he didn’t come back because insurance would have pick up his salary.

IslandGirl aka IG

May 12th, 2009
2:02 pm

@Demi…hey babe.. My Caucasian sisters are eating chicken! They realized is so much you can gain from climbing the Stair Master..(lol)

Demi

May 12th, 2009
2:03 pm

(When I was in Japan, a person told me that many Japanese men desire pre-pubescent females. They are considered pure, unused, and clean.)

It’s worse than that…have you watch their anime? Most of the girls look ten with D cups. I am like WTF!? Don’t get me started on Hentai…that mess is kiddie….corn. And that chap is on Japan National Television…That mess ain’t right.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:04 pm

I’m so not feeling these friends i have that can go to a Semi-Finals game on a weekday.

Did anyone bring me a commemorative, cup, t-shirt, straw…something?

Tazzee :)

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:05 pm

Sniper

Kym, you a Falcons fan?

Kym + Falcon’s Fan in the same sentence? ‘Dems Fightin’ Words!

She is a fan of the team from up north that wears Black and Gold….The team with the most Super Bowl victories in NFL history. Duh Steelers.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
2:06 pm

@DJ I am sorry I am a member of the Steeler Nation (proud member since 1996) I became a steeler fan because my son’s father was a Bengals fan and it was a great way to piss him off. Tazzee is the FAlcons fan.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
2:06 pm

PoppaG – you think you were mad? First of all, I paid for my tickets, then had to work late – but left to go see the game and then back home for more work until 12:30…I could have stayed at work.

Cemeeli – I didn’t get a t-shirt myself, was too late.

DJ – LOL, Kym is NOT a Falcons fan…please don’t get her started.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:06 pm

Cee

They gave away T-Shirts that said “Now you know!!”

My friends and I laughed when they handed it to us.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
2:07 pm

Kym – ;-) Thank you!

IslandGirl aka IG

May 12th, 2009
2:07 pm

@Staceye…girl, I’ve been working, but I can’t complain one bit.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:09 pm

Tazzee

I nominate you for the 2×4 whacking. You might have enough anger in you to make Josh feel it!!..:lol:

Rell - hollerin @ benchs

May 12th, 2009
2:09 pm

@PG….could be alls i know when i went to the phillipins..it was 50 american dollars for two women for the WHOLE WEEKEND….if you were seen with one chick over there dudes would think you were trying to wife them UP….it was required to have more than one chick for the weekend….but i did not like asian women..there bodies where not shaped right to me..so i did not join that party but one time…i dealt with the WM’S mostly when i was overseas…but once back to the states…i was i the streets

on another note PG…the homo gene is running wild over in asian…seen alot of that when i was in japan

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:12 pm

Kym

Tazzee is the FAlcons fan.

I kinda laughed when I read that because by saying Tazzee is theFalcons fan instead of Tazzee is a Falcons Fan you made it sound like she is their lone fan.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:13 pm

PoppaG – All i have to add to the Hawks topic, and then i’m done because it was painful to watch.

They let Lebron get away with slapping a old Lady if they could! OMG – When he fouled Joe Johnson and the officials called it on Joe! That was just sad…

That call was so bad…they’d of called the foul on J. Johnson’s grandmamma before calling one on Lebron if they could.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:15 pm

Rell

on another note PG…the homo gene is running wild over in asian…seen alot of that when i was in japan

True..I saw it too.

However, It really caught me off guard in Italy. Seeing a couple of dudes holding hands near the Vatican was wierd. The Pope wouldn’t have like to see that!

Kym

May 12th, 2009
2:18 pm

@DJ I am 5′10 without shoes. Short will not work for me.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
2:20 pm

Naw PoppaG… Tazzee is my friend and she is the ultimate Falcons fan. I may not like the team but I like a dedicated fan. Love your team lose or lose.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:20 pm

So Kym is a Steelers fan huh? I’m cool with that, cuz I like watching them as well. I was happy that Mike Tomlin won a SB in just his second season.

Tazzee, us fellow Falcon fans must unite and support our team for 2009. I think it’s gonna be a good year.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:23 pm

Kym, I feel u on the dedicated fan thing. I became a Falcons fan the year before I moved here(the year they went to the SB) and I’ve been one ever since. Even when they had their bad seasons, I was still in front of the TV every Sunday, screaming and cussing and trying to will them to victory. That didn’t always work. lol

So your son’s father is a Bengals fan huh? And I thought I went through some suffering. lol

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 12th, 2009
2:25 pm

Ahhh but Kym, you would be amazed at what a short guy can do with a tall lady in heels who is standing up, if he is sitting on a short stool!!! LOL.

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
2:27 pm

Staceye – I agree with you, just because folks stayed married for upteen years back in the day does not necessarily mean they were happy. I know my grandmother and even my mother, while they loved their husbands, wished more opportunities and choices were available to women. That’s why they always told me I could do anything and yes, still have a nice guy and family IF that’s what I wanted.

Sister Cee – Have you tried that Ginger Almond Oatmeal soap at Trader Joes? It is wonderful! The Tea Tree Tingle body wash is very refreshing too. Try the Pineapple Salsa, over by the chips, if you have not already. It’s great on grilled shrimp & chicken.

Melo

May 12th, 2009
2:28 pm

MELO…it cracks me up when can tell sombody how easy it is to be submissive when then have never and will never do it themselves! SMDH!

Staceye I will let you know when I grow my own Pudsysy.I be ready to submit. :lol:

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:28 pm

Cee

I blame Joe!!! While your at it, hit him too! Do it before you hand it Zaza.

He is the quietest All Star. Dennis Scott was talking about on 790 earlier. Joe is the all star with the lowest free throw attempts. It is because is rarely takes it to the rim. He loves to shoot floaters, though. That won’t get you the calls.

On a serious note, Dennis admitted that he and Joe had a long talk last night. During Joe’s last season in Phoenix, he went in for a junk and got fouled, hit the floor face first and broke some bones in his face. I remember that because he wore a mask playing against the Spurs. Apparently, that experience has made him a little tentative to go to the rim like he did before that injury. I am not kidding one bit.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:31 pm

Sniper

So your son’s father is a Bengals fan huh? And I thought I went through some suffering

In the famous words of LaWanda Page (from Sanford and Son) “Watch it Sucka!!”…lol

That’s my former team….I was on their practice squad during the nineties.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:33 pm

@Kimmie The salsay i have tried.

But sis, if you suggest that i purchase one more tranquil body soap, lotion, scrub or any of that. When my skin is punctured from not being tough AT ALL, i’m going to explode. while gleaming. You are truly my sister from another mister.

I love stuff like that. I will keep those in mind. they had candles on sale. And i bought Virgil’s Root Beer, and just a whole lotta junk!!!

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:36 pm

Cee

One more thing….I got much respect for ‘Bron. He didn’t do a lot of whining. As a matter of fact, I heard from the wifey that he mention that Cleveland was whining to much when he talked to Reggie…uh I mean ..Cheryl Miller (Lord, knows you don’t see them in the same place often and they look almost too much alike) at halftime.

He got hit across the head on one play. Then got up and calmly hit the free throws. Gotta respect that.

Josh..on the other hand got a technical foul, and could have gotten more because he wouldn’t shut up to the Refs. I think that is why quit going to the basket because he didn’t get the calls.

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:39 pm

Got some sun dried tomato chicken sausage, and mango and apple chicken sausage too.

Now i know what’s for dinner. :)

PoppaG – He broke his face? Gud Lawd!

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:39 pm

Cee

Well, since you went to Trader Joe’s instead of Home Depot, I can’t hate that.

I love their bagged popcorns, especially the sweet one.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:40 pm

Cee

Yeah, he broke his face. Just like Rip Hamilton.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 12th, 2009
2:40 pm

Love your team lose or lose. I can only laugh at that statement :lol:

DJ – I became a fan when I bought my first house here. I’m from Cleveland and when the Browns left, I was without a team. I didn’t get with the ‘new’ Browns so when I started paying property taxes in Atlanta, I adopted the teams. I still root for the Cavs though, just didn’t want the Hawks to get swept.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
2:41 pm

English Girl…(said like Martin) You Go Gurl…(here are you free Hawks tkts)…KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

I RESPECT a woman with a strong opinion, but I RESPECT HER MORE, WHEN SHE KNOWS WHEN TO TURN IT OFF!!!

DJ…Bruh!!! I had tears running down my eye and you should have seen my short a$$ trying to hide from the wind…(picture this)…bike is a ‘Busa, I am 5′3..so the reach is long…my helmet was touching the bubble (wind screen)…my arm tuck to the side of the tank and my feet on the passenger pegs…

My boy thought the bike was riding itself, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA…I was trying to hide for real fo reel!!

kimmie

May 12th, 2009
2:41 pm

Sister Cee – I’ve been curious about that Root Beer. I get the Triple Ginger Snaps sometimes, for myself and one of my neighbors that is going thru chemo, you know ginger settles the stomach.

Next time you go, let me know and I’ll meet you – describe myself & tell you what I’m wearing so you’ll know me!:)

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:42 pm

Poppa, I didn’t know u played pro ball. How long were you in the league, and how was the overall experience?

Now that you mention it, I do remember Joe Johnson playing with a mask during his last year with the Suns. That’s interesting that his experience with broken face bones may have made him gun shy about going to the rim. That needs to change.

Raqi

May 12th, 2009
2:43 pm

Cemeeli who had candles on sale?

LIONESS-Finished Cooking

May 12th, 2009
2:45 pm

Demi- You are 5′3 for REAL?

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:45 pm

Sniper

I think that a lot of natives which Kym is have issues that in the late 80s that Falcons threatened to leave Atlanta and move to Jacksonville (Jaguars didn’t exist then)if they didn’t get a new stadium. That new stadium became the GA Dome. Before that they played in Atlanta-Fulton County stadium, and shared it with the Braves.

How can a team that hasn’t even had winning records in 2 consecutive season make demands like that ? (They still haven’t had winning records in 2 consecutive seasons, ever!)

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:46 pm

I have ….nevermind… LeBron looks good in a suit, though.

PoppaG Nah, i didn’t say Bron whines. I’m just saying, the officals are so WRONG!

J-Smoove is the same as he is off court. i ain’t got a unsavory discourse about him. He’s just young.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:46 pm

Tazzee, how did I miss that “lose or lose” part? I think she did that on purpose. lol Anyway, I nominate your place for cookouts during the 2009 season. I’ll be more than happy to man the grill. lol

LMAO@ Demi’s experience on the bike last night!!!!!!! 5′3″ on a Busa huh? I know your boy was getting a good laugh off of that huh? lol

Kym

May 12th, 2009
2:47 pm

@Poppa G Cheryl has better teeth than Reggie that’s how you tell. I like her much better without the braids.

@DJ yes he was all about the Bungals. Sorry PoppaG my son’s family are still Bungals fans..and Falcons fans.(No accounting for taste)

I wonder if I can hit the lotto and go to the game at Heniz Field on Sept 10. Now that would be classic!!!

@ RandyT sorry but short guys have complexes.

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:48 pm

Heinz Field is nice.

I am a fan of outdoor stadium for football.

Lord Velonese

May 12th, 2009
2:50 pm

Well, I have no problem with a woman being dominant in a relationship, ONLY if the roles are reversed. Meaning instead of me wining and dining, pampering, pedestaling, and being the initiator of the relationship the woman should do so. I would imagine most women would cringe at the thought of that lmfao. (Ducks and covers after that one) Otherwise unless the guy doesn’t want to be, he should be allowed to be and it should 50/50 or 100/100 no more, no less period. The silence issue can back fire in ones face if you’re not careful, you’d probably want to play that one by ear.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:52 pm

Poppa, I didn’t know that the Falcons had thought about leaving the city unless they got a new stadium. You learn something new every day. I do believe, though, that this year we will finally get rid of that stigma of never having back to back winning seasons.

Kym

May 12th, 2009
2:53 pm

@PoppaG Tell em’ why I’m mad son!!! Sorry sapsuckers. How you going say we leaving if we don’t get a new stadium..Man let me help you pack. Take I-20 and head for the line..Alabama, Mississippi, Heck join up with the Aints.. threating somebody..please who are you!!??? Sorry flashback.

Demi

May 12th, 2009
2:54 pm

Ahhh but Kym, you would be amazed at what a short guy can do with a tall lady in heels who is standing up, if he is sitting on a short stool!!! LOL.

Hellz…meet RandyT…RandyT meet Hellz…LOL

You where wrong for that post, HAHAHAHAHA.

(That’s my former team….I was on their practice squad during the nineties)

Don’t be telling them kids at the Boys’n'Girl Club, that scary aZZ story, PG…LOL

Cemeeli

May 12th, 2009
2:54 pm

Raqi – Trader.

I got another bag too. I like that lil place. I need to do something with this crunchy almond butter though.

DJ Sniper

May 12th, 2009
2:58 pm

Kym, not all short dudes have complexes. At 5′9″, I don’t consider myself short, but at the same time, my height has never been a hinderance when it comes to dating, nor have I ever let it bug me in any other aspect of life. I can understand women wanting to date men taller than them. It only irritates me when I hear midget ass women talkin’ bout, “I ain’t dating a dude unless he’s 6′3″ and above!” Sit yo short ass down somewhere! lol

Poppa Grande

May 12th, 2009
2:58 pm

Cee

Yeah, I know that he is just young. The between the legs dunk attempt exemplified that. Playing for his hometown probably makes him feel more pressure since the hometeam has had more bad years than good ones.

I’ve seen him on Northside a few times. I guessed that those were the times that he was leaving Philips Arena.

I am just tired of him and Coach Woodson bumping heads. They have gotten into a real physical altercation on at least one occasion. Bibby screamed at Coach Woodson last night before half time. Woodson got on Bibby for passing it to Josh (who proceeded to take a long jumper). Bibby screamed back that Woodson should take Josh of the f-ing floor then because Cavs weren’t covering him so he got the ball.