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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Keep It Real

I received an email from a reader who has a little dilemma. She says that she has not been “authentic” with her man when it comes to the bedroom stuff. She pretends to be inexperienced and lately she has been pulling a “Meg Ryan” and faking it. (I don’t think Meg Ryan will ever live down that diner scene!).

Since the relationship is pretty serious now, she wants to be more honest with her man. She is concerned about his reaction to the truth: there are times when she has her own tricks that she wants to try. There are also times when she is too tired and doesn’t have the energy.

So how do you keep it real with your mate in the bedroom? Do you prefer full disclosure, tell me every thing approach? Do you want things to be said in the moment or while you two are at brunch?

Guys, do you want your women to be real in the bedroom or are you perfectly fine with the fake out? Ladies, do you find it hard to keep it real with your man when it comes to things like this?

Happy Friday  & Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers!!

365 comments Add your comment

Leggs

May 8th, 2009
10:54 am

@Randy, you are right on the “talent” versus “experience.” Big difference!

@Randy, “Few men want to wrestle with an unwilling partner.” Sorry, not true…too many rapists walking amongst us. I know that’s not what you meant, but your statement made me think of that.

@Cougar, Josh Smith is da bomb!

@lurker….you got it!!!!!
@Angie, ok, now I better understand your new moniker!

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
10:57 am

Ared- Another SAD CASE!

Melo- I feel you BUT a man should KNOW when a women has and “o” by the feeling without words.. The muscles inside of a woman tense up and a man should be able to feel the difference.. I need men to learn a womans body!

Been thru- I agree with your wife not releasing all of her freakiness at one.. Oral sex is something I don’t do UNLESS you are my man.. I know women that just consider that a part of sex and provide that service because they love doing it.. NOT I!

Grace

May 8th, 2009
10:59 am

I’ve faked it before, although it did felt “good” I didn’t reach my climax. I know my body and I know what it takes for me to get an O, and it’s not always dipping in either. I have no problem telling my man what it takes to get me to the higher level.

Most women will pretend that they’re inexpreienced, saying they don’t do this or that. I don’t understand that one. Since they’re just playing themselves. If you’re of age, been married a time or two, you’re not fooling anybody but yourselves, guys know unless he’s dumber than a box of rocks and he’s just in it to get his and he could care less about fulfilling your needs.

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
10:59 am

A man that could give a woman an “o” with JUST his sex game knows what he is doing!

For Real

May 8th, 2009
10:59 am

Dude: I can’t wait til we get home to do it…ummm I mean make love for the first time

Chick: Me too but I’m a little hesitant

Dude: Why it ain’t like it’s your firs…. I mean don’t be, we will take it slow.

Chick: Okay but go slow cause I’m not that experience

Dude: HAHA.. umm, ahem, ah-choo, cough

Chick: Are you okay?

Dude: Yeah, some spit went down the wrong pipe. I guess I’m a little nervous too (dude roll eyes)

Chick: You are nervous too. Well how about we take realllllllll slow

Dude: Okay but not too slow

Chick: Okay but I don’t want you humping me like a rabi-rabbit

Dude: Okay, real talk, we can go slow but if you ain’t did what you need to do within in 50 pumps then you SOL

Chick: 50 PUMPS!!!!

Dude: Anything above 50 is just showing off.

Cemeeli

May 8th, 2009
10:59 am

Cougar I cain’t even speak on lastnight. But Josh will do his thang, not matter what.

Cee now hoping that Melo is somewhere busy from the blog today. Bless his heart.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 8th, 2009
10:59 am

Why is it that the song “Superfreak” keeps running thru my mind now?

lurker

May 8th, 2009
11:03 am

LionessBut I doubt you were acting inexperienced though

Precisely.

I was thinking the same thing about a man not knowing a woman is faking. If he doesn’t cause it ain’t that deep. He’s in it to get his.

WD seriously girl, spreading too think ain’t never good.

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
11:03 am

Question: do you think sex is much more sexual when there is music playing?

-W8 (the new guy)

May 8th, 2009
11:05 am

I dont get the holding back from oral sex by either party? I mean do you respect your mouth more than your sexual organs?

Cemeeli

May 8th, 2009
11:05 am

Auh!

To late!

Leggs

May 8th, 2009
11:07 am

Sorry, but this is the first I’m “hearing” about woman pretending that they’re inexpreienced.” I truly have never given this any thought. It’s always amazing to find out what ppl waste their time on! Why have shame now at your experience level? Was there any shame when getting the experience????

Kym--is lost in the 80's and 90's

May 8th, 2009
11:08 am

Good Morning All,

” How do you want it? How does it feel?” What is that guys say? Closed mouths don’t get fed? So if you don’t speak up and say what you want..I hope you don’t think I am going to guess. I will ask..I will tell and if I particular frustrated I will do it myself. You only get a pass on the first sexual encounter, after that game on.

MELO

May 8th, 2009
11:08 am

Yeah,just peeping in an’ out, waiting on u, CEE,English Girl,Cool,WiseD and Mytwo’s 2 on dat.Oh!,and Foots’ 2 too! :lol:

Hw often are u guys getting it tho??

AmazonRed™

May 8th, 2009
11:08 am

I dont get the holding back from oral sex by either party? I mean do you respect your mouth more than your sexual organs?

W8 – That’s what I think too. I don’t see the point in putting your mouth on a pedestal, when you’re probably doing more freaky things like that anyway.

-W8 (the new guy)

May 8th, 2009
11:09 am

@Lioness, I think its more sexual when there is music playing..even take it a step further than the traditional stereo sometimes, just have your ipod in your ears and go to work..she has no idea what you are listening to but is enjoying the “jam”

Grace

May 8th, 2009
11:09 am

do you think sex is much more sexual when there is music playing? Lioness If you’re paying attention to the music you’re not focus on the moment :D We have music playing all the time and I can’t for the life of me remember hearing anything other than the noise we’re making at the time :)

DuShawn

May 8th, 2009
11:10 am

I definetly prefer a woman with alot of experience sexually. Few things frustrate me more than some green azz head. Too much teeth, not enough spit, I hate that. But I don’t stop them. Like Bernie Mack said,”…They Gotta Learn”

JtJ

May 8th, 2009
11:10 am

ARed…..my post got ate up or something……But it is nothing serious….I just stumbled across some footage of fling before that was supposedly nothing serious. I did not go looking for it, it was on the same footage as ours>>>>>>UGGHH!! I was like…… that’s not me……HARPO, Who dis woman??
His careless to not erase it completely and the fact the he said “Nobody told you to go looking at stuff”….I was thinking I was looking at one of our live moments….not this crap!!

I know ….sounds petty….but I wanted to believe he only got down like that with me…..now relating to today’s topic…his acts, muttered words, and durty talk sounds scripted………
I know he has a past just like me, but I never wanted to see any part of it!!!! DANG MAN!!

lurker

May 8th, 2009
11:11 am

I get in a major funk if I’m seriously needing it. MAJOR FUNK and grouchy. Whew

AmazonRed™

May 8th, 2009
11:13 am

JtJ – Thanks for the repost cuz I wasn’t sure what was going on with the first but didn’t want to pry!

lurker

May 8th, 2009
11:13 am

but that’s not today’s topic….sorry…I veered off a bit…lol

you're my AIR . . . i don't want to be your FRIEND anymore

May 8th, 2009
11:14 am

i love soulja boi’s new cuts.

Dan

May 8th, 2009
11:15 am

@Lioness

It depends on the music and the connection.

Some Luther with someone you love is much different than a R.Kelly retrospective with someone you “like”.

Either way though, I’m not opposed to mood music.

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
11:16 am

Ared & W8- Unfortunately, my mouth is on a pedalstal with EVERYTHING! I can’t help it.. I am a very picky eater too :) It has nothing to do with not respecting my nana cause I do BUT I know if I am getting it on I am using a condom. Now, I don’t know of any man that has a bunch of dental dams in his medicine cabinet.. Most people that I know that provide their man with oral sex pleasures DON’T use condoms..

Kym--is lost in the 80's and 90's

May 8th, 2009
11:16 am

JtJ why you have to post that?..oh well and so it begins..

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
11:17 am

JtJ- Footage??? You videotaping acts? If so, WOW!

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
11:19 am

Du- I feel you.. Lawd have mercy on you :)

Lurker- ME TOO!! If I am in need, I get GRUMPY :)

MELO

May 8th, 2009
11:20 am

I mean do you respect your mouth more than your sexual organs?….I don’t see the point in putting your mouth on a pedestal

I beg to differ.A pimple in on my wang but hidden from view and in my pants is not the same as the that boob on my mouth.The pain is proly the same but the public indignation with that public display,in full view boob, shld be confidence shuttering.Besides,going on all mouth is realoly complimentary,both ways!! :lol: :evil: :twisted:
To be honest, i have in tha past,enjoyed mouth compliments from not so established contacts,after some wordy mental manipulation ofcourse but have always wondered at the ‘Dutch bravery’ of those lady soldiers! :evil:

SexyCool

May 8th, 2009
11:21 am

Being dishonest about your experience with your mate. Not cool. If there was something about your mate that made you feel as if you could not be honest with him, perhaps he is not the one for you. And I could go deeper but that would force me from my usual spot in the shallow end of the pool. However, I will say trust your instincts.

Three Words Daily – Gotta love life!!!

you're my AIR . . . i don't want to be your FRIEND anymore

May 8th, 2009
11:21 am

in the past, i have faked it. giving him some to start his day off right . . . yep i did my part. but every single time i ended up gettin’ mines too.

so fake it until you make it!

AmazonRed™

May 8th, 2009
11:23 am

Most people that I know that provide their man with oral sex pleasures DON’T use condoms

Even still, it comes across as your mouth being more special than your nana. You’re still providing the oral pleasures, if a guy is not privy to that aspect, it means he’s good enuf to screw but not good enuf for oral.

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
11:23 am

Melo- LMAO!! I couldn’t have a blister ANYWHERE!!! Murder is the case that they gave me.. That is where I am @ with it :)

MELO

May 8th, 2009
11:23 am

really complimentary

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 8th, 2009
11:25 am

Question: do you think sex is much more sexual when there is music playing?

Hell to the yes…yes…yes!!! I have a 5 disk cd player and when I’m in the mood for a serious session I program it and let it go. My music usually matches my sexual desire and intensity.(i.e. if I want it nice and slow then the music is such…if I want it rough and freaky then the music is slow and nasty…if I want it from the bed to the floor then my music will reflect it)

I can go from R.Kelly(the old stuff),Isley brothers,Maxwell to Tupac(gangsta ridin’) in one session and I think that makes it more exciting.

I feel tingly….and the topic and this weather isn’t helping ;)

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
11:25 am

Ared- Some people like to give men oral sex, I am not one of those people.. I don’t like sucking on NOTHING! I chew my lollipops rather than suck them.. I am not a sucker in no way shape or form.. My nana & my mouth are on the same pedelsatl Believe Me :)

DJ Sniper

May 8th, 2009
11:26 am

Personally, I want a woman to be up front with me when it comes to her sexual wants, needs, desires, etc. Thankfully, I’m not one of those men who believes that a woman’s sexual expertise is directly related to the number of men she’s been with. Guys who think like that need to realize that a woman could have learned a lot of her tricks with just one guy.

I don’t see a good ending for the relationship that’s the subject of this blog. Maybe the chick will get lucky and the guy won’t mind that she’s been holding back.

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
11:27 am

Sassy- I know that is right!

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
11:28 am

DJ- I agree! If I were her, I wouldn’t tell him anything and just suggest a trip to Starship, get some toys and get it popping :)

Sybil

May 8th, 2009
11:29 am

I tell my male friends all the time – the way to tell if a chick has faked it is her pulse. If her heart rate is not elevated, then she didn’t get there.

AmazonRed™

May 8th, 2009
11:29 am

My nana & my mouth are on the same pedelsatl

If you’re more selective about oral over sex, then they aren’t.

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 8th, 2009
11:30 am

Few things frustrate me more than some green azz head. Too much teeth, not enough spit, I hate that. But I don’t stop them. Like Bernie Mack said,”…They Gotta Learn”

Du Me,too…I don’t like when they act like they’re scared,you know….put your face in it :)

LIONESS- I am Glad this hectic week is OVER!

May 8th, 2009
11:36 am

Sassy- LMAO!! No teef allowed and take it nice and easy :)

Sybil- OK!! It is NOT rocket science..

Ared- Ok..

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 8th, 2009
11:37 am

I tell my male friends all the time – the way to tell if a chick has faked it is her pulse. If her heart rate is not elevated, then she didn’t get there.

Actually if the activity is vigorous enough heart rates will rise automatically,HOWEVER, when a woman reaches that magical peak, her uterus contracts….think on it and let it marinade for a bit.(I learned why in school but I don’t think now is the time and this aint the forum).

Poppa Grande

May 8th, 2009
11:37 am

Lioness

You do realize that the human mouth has over 300 germs in it right? That is provided that you use mouthwash twice a day.

The human mouth has more germ than fingernails.

Heck, the human mouth has more germ than a canine’s mouth.

you're my AIR . . . i don't want to be your FRIEND anymore

May 8th, 2009
11:39 am

happy mother’s day! blog hug to all the mothers doin’ their thang.

LIONESS- About to Cook

May 8th, 2009
11:42 am

PG- I wonder if those stats are the same for people with Hot Breath?

SexyCool

May 8th, 2009
11:44 am

Well, since we putting it out there about inexperienced females orally. Let’s talk about you dudes out there that visit the Y like you scared it’s about to grow teeth and bite you back. Let me offer you a little instruction.

1. Keep your teeth off me.

2. Overstimulation of the cl!t is not satisfying. It’s actually quite aggravating.

3. If you are touching my only with the tip of your tongue and not your lips, you are NOT doing it right and you are lame.

4. Don’t put your finger in me if I ain’t wet. It feels like a doctor’s exam.

5. All cl!ts are not created equal. Just cause Shenaynay liked it like that, doesn’t mean I do. (She was probably faking it anyway.)

6. Eat it like it’s a wet, juicy Georgia peach and you will be doing it JUST right.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 8th, 2009
11:45 am

JtJ I’m sorry but this:

I was like…… that’s not me……HARPO, Who dis woman??

made me :lol:

Wish I could hang out with you tomorrow but I’m out of town for the weekend. You need a girls night out after that one.

For Real

May 8th, 2009
11:45 am

Chick: Imma stick my tougue down your throat

Dude: Ewwwwwww, didn’t you just finish eating

Chick: Ok, well Imma suck your wang

Dude: Oh noooooo, do you know the mouth has over 300 germs

Zippppp, smack, spit, smack, smackie, smack, spit

Police: What are you doing with your wang in that woman’s mouth

Dude: Killing grems!