You take the ring, you take the name. This is the one sentence response I got when I asked an ex-boyfriend how he felt about me not changing my name if we married. I am a Daddy’s girl and he has no sons, so I used to believe that I owed it to Pops to keep the name. The Ex was not warming up to that idea, at all!
I received an email from a reader said that she has noticed the name game among her married friends lately: “Either their names have pretty much stayed the same or the hypenation has been in full-effect!” She said that it was “surprising to her because so many ladies grew up doodling (and still sneak-a-doodle) the last name of our beloved crush after our first, just to see how it looks.”
She wrote, “I somehow doubt men give this much thought in their formative years, if at all. Maybe it’s the mindset of the dreaded “Independent Woman” or those who have just gotten so used to solely identifying themselves by maiden name, they can’t go all in with totally disconnecting from it. How did the married women who chose to keep or hyphenate their maiden names broach the topic?
How did the married men whose mates favored this option react? Do single, marriage minded men perceive women who would want to do so in a negative way? Do single, marriage minded women perceive guys as insecure if they express discomfort with the idea?
For those married folks who went the traditional route, what influenced your decision? And for those who are dating with kids, would you feel obligated to change your children’s last names to your husband’s if you should marry?”
Thanks to the reader for asking these great questions! What do you guys think? Are we still playing the name game in 2009?