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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

It’s Not A Guy Thing

I know men are often blamed for being the ones that hate confrontation, but it’s not a guy thing. Plenty of women detest having long drawn out discussions about “where is this going” or “what are you thinking/feeling”. I know this because I lean toward the, so called guy side in these situations. In a relationship, I don’t like the uncomfortable confrontations that will surely come with a new relationship.

I’m the type that just likes to say what’s bothering me and move on – quickly. I don’t want to dwell on it or dissect it. I’m also the type that cuts her losses really quick when I notice things going south with a new guy. There was a guy who insisted on calling me repeatedly after we decided we weren’t going to work. He would engage me in these heated discussions and it was draining. Why can’t I ever date the men who avoid confrontations like I do?

Guys, have you ever dated a woman who was like you in the sense that she hated confrontations? Do you think that was a good thing or a bad one? How did that play out when you really needed to get something off your chest?

Ladies, do you think men avoid confrontation because the way women react when things get intense? Have you found a way to handle the confrontations with a little bit of finesse that won’t make the man cringe or run for the hills?

What do you do when you lose interest in someone new and there is not really a “break up” needed, but the person confronts you about where they stand?

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone! Where will you be celebrating?

296 comments Add your comment

Leo

May 5th, 2009
8:40 am

I think that if two people have a lot in common then confrontations should be rare and minimal. I am not attracted to someone who overreacts or is not in control of actions and reactions. You should be able to talk as you go along – I avoid “the talk” about where something is going. I can see that without confronting him. A relationship should be fun and flow naturally, why complicate things?

Tmac

May 5th, 2009
8:41 am

you are one of those lying woman :) sorry. Most woman I met declare she doesnt like nonsense argument and after first date, or second date at best start comming up with shyyyyt. So, No I dont believe a bit, if a woman says seh isnt into argument. Matter of fact, woman love argument.

Professor

May 5th, 2009
8:42 am

Good Morning and Happy Cinco de Mayo!

What do you do when you lose interest in someone new and there is not really a “break up” needed, but the person confronts you about where they stand?

With a new person this is the one time I play the passive role and just ignore the person if they keep calling or texting me. I find it very awkward trying to explain an ending on something without a beginning.

ImAPeach404

May 5th, 2009
8:42 am

Yo LEO, let us know when you wake up…

$ Bill

May 5th, 2009
8:44 am

It’s been a LONG time!

I’m in the middle of this situation right now. My lady friend is in school full time and the mother of three. In order to focus her attention on school and the needs of her kids, she sent me an e-mail letting me know where her focus needed to be during this REALLY stressful period. There’s a LOT at stake for her because of a past divorce and layoff, so I’ve had to give her her time and space to do what she NEEDS to do. It’s been stressful and tough on us both. I couldn’t even get a hug because of the emotions that are involved.

It’s been hard and she’s left the door open to future possibilities, but she needed to emotionally separate herself from me in order to not neglect her kids and to focus on school.

Raqi

May 5th, 2009
8:47 am

I am the type that likes to end confront. Or rather resolve. Settle. Close. And issue that is not mended is sure to rear its ugly head again and sometimes I feel like an avoidance of confrontation is a tactic to not deal with it. Not dealing with it does not solve the issue. The issue remains. I’m not talking about keeping a matter going for reason at all but I am talking about solving it. All matters not ended remain matters.

If we go ahead and talk about we can get past it that much quicker. I don’t like to fight but I am going to stand my ground and speak my peace. Do not ask or expect me to do differently. It’s my right.

I don’t nag neither do I complain about dumb crap. Nor do I instigate confrontations. So grant me the privilege to say what I have to say and let’s find an end to the matter.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
8:49 am

Good morning! Ah yes, Cinco de Mayo. Yes, my girls and I are drinkers, so a table is being secured at 4 p.m. and it’s going all night. We’ll catch the Hawks game at the bar.

WiseDiva – you ready to let the cat out the bag about Blanca yet? She’s not coming back, is she?

ImAPeach404

May 5th, 2009
8:49 am

You know what I’ve noticed… often times when you have a “discussion” with a guy about anything halfway serious or regarding something that you may have differing opinions on – it’s considered an “argument”.

That annoys me like nothing else! It’s all about perception really. If dude views a conversation as an argument, then now you’re a woman who likes to argue when that actually may not be the case.

Hell, I just like to be clear. And if me being clear is perceived as me arguing how is one to fix that? Never talk about anything you don’t agree on??? Hellz no! Thats not going to work. And I’m not talking about a conversation that is loud, or necks rolling and fingers waving. I’m just talking about a simple conversation where my view is different than yours… can anybody help me a sistah out?

Dan

May 5th, 2009
8:54 am

I’mma agree with Leo

With all the things that I have going currently and the things I’m trying to “get off the ground”, why add the stress of a conversation about “where this going” conversation?

It just reeks of insecurity to me. Now if the conversation is broached, I’ll have it.

ImAPeach404

May 5th, 2009
8:55 am

RED – if I were Blanca I wouldn’t come back to this piece either. Folks acted like it was a HS clique and she was the new girl. It was really quite childish. I never understood why grown people would dog her about some of the topics she posted – hell, if you don’t have anything to say regarding the topic, don’t blog that day…

I wouldn’t be surprised if she dipped. Tough crowd.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
8:56 am

Now, on to the topic. In the past, I’ve been wary of confronting a guy on things for a couple of reasons: 1) I didn’t want to come across a difficult or a nag 2) because I felt that I was asking questions I already knew the answer to, so what is the point.

One thing that my last relationship (and Steve Harvey’s book) reminded me is this: I don’t demand a lot, and I don’t have unrealistic expectations. In addition, I’m an equal player in the relationship and my needs are important too. So since closed mouths don’t get fed, I’ll make my expecations and standards known. So now, either you’re with the program or you’re not. Your choice.

Things became much more simple again after that.

Texas Boy

May 5th, 2009
8:58 am

WHAT! Blancas not coming BACK???!!!!!

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
8:58 am

Peach – Bella got dogged out but Blanca was doing a pretty good job. I don’t think the room was too tough for her, but hey, I guess some folks can’t take criticism on any level. *shrugs*

I’m just thinking she was a victim of downsizing that’s going on at the AJC.

Dan

May 5th, 2009
8:58 am

@Peach

What is there to be clear about? In general what are the questions that you’re asking?

mytw♥cents

May 5th, 2009
9:03 am

PEACHY You are not in that parallel universe alone. But it seems to extend across genders in life. Folk can be soooo sensitive…

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
9:03 am

It just reeks of insecurity to me. Now if the conversation is broached, I’ll have it.

Dan – you seem to enjoy throwing out the insecurity card. People aren’t mind readers. You can “show” someone you care about them but some people are “tell” people and need to hear it.

There is nothing wrong with talking to someone you are dating and having a conversation to make sure you are on the same page. How is someone insecure for wanting to make sure the person they are seeing is in pursuit of the same things?

mytw♥cents

May 5th, 2009
9:04 am

Note: This does not make you/me “insensitive” by default…

Raqi

May 5th, 2009
9:06 am

often times when you have a “discussion” with a guy about anything halfway serious or regarding something that you may have differing opinions on – it’s considered an “argument”.

Peach exactly. It’s like the only thing worth talking about is what is good for them with some of these men folk. And what’s funny is some of them say that want a woman who has an opinion, who is bright and intelligent however as they would have it she better not voice that opinion if it clashes with his or else she likes to argue. Do you all want a “yes man” or a mate?

MELO

May 5th, 2009
9:07 am

In order to focus her attention on school and the needs of her kids, she sent me an e-mail letting me know where her focus needed to be during this REALLY stressful period

Hey…..hey,hey,anybody there?? $Bill,are u there??!! :lol: Did u type that??!!
I pray that u arent being played by a mother of three :grin: Seriously!!
She send u an email…ha?? U Right!!

ImAPeach404

May 5th, 2009
9:08 am

RED – oooooh, the evil “downsizing”. Thats always a theory. Good thinking…

DAN – nothing specific really. But, you know, kind of what Raqi said. I’d rather just go ahead and talk about things so there won’t be any confusions and we both understand each other. I can think of something that happened very recently that – after the fact – I was told “Well, I don’t like to argue” and it wasn’t even anywhere close to an argument in my mind. But… I won’t bore you and the others with that.

Raqi

May 5th, 2009
9:08 am

Dan that just goes right back to what was discussed last week. Whatever you don’t verbalize or commit to you cannot be held to. You all call it “just being” but some of us (me) call it avoidance.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
9:10 am

I confess that I have a tendency to overanalyze things also. Okay…enough said, and I don’t want to discuss it anymore ;-)

Professor

May 5th, 2009
9:12 am

$ Bill, I can understand where your girl is coming from. I was in grad school full time (sometimes took on an extra load) and working full time and for a 1 ½ I probably went on two dates. When I started grad school I knew I needed to break things off with my SO at the time.

My actions as it relates to talking/arguing depend on how I see the relationship. Is there anything worth salvaging or am I wasting my time on something that does not exist or have an awkward conversation.

Dan

May 5th, 2009
9:15 am

@ARed

I throw it out there because what is the basis of asking the question “who/what am I to you” after months/years of dating? A woman that is confident in herself don’t ask that question, period. It is asking someone to set a floor under a relationship.

Now “are we exclusively dating” [are you seeing/with anyone else]? Valid question. And I dig the “language of love” stuff, if a woman needs to hear me state it, fine.

As for the “same page” that’s part of the first couple of months and in done in declarative statements like “I’m not dating just to date, I want a relationship that lead to…”. I don’t feel that it’s an unreasonable point to make. You’ve stated your intentions and it’s on the other party to make that decision to move forward.

But a conversation about “where we are” more than once in a 6 month/ 1 year time frame seems more like “validation” than anything. JMHO

Raqi

May 5th, 2009
9:15 am

It has got to be a miserable life to walk around holding your stance and opinion in because you fear being labeled argumentative by your mate or the opposite sex. Heck we are two grown adults and we both have a right to say what we want even when is opposes what you think.

Heck if you want a mute, get you a mail order bride that doesn’t speak your language.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
9:16 am

Peach – Even Bella came on here and told us it was her last day. Jazzyone in turn came on here and basically told her to go hell. :lol: I think we did Blanca better than that, so she might have said bye. :lol:

MELO

May 5th, 2009
9:17 am

Dan,actually there is nothing wrong with a girl asking about “where this is going” as long as u and her are somewhat in sync.But when ur priorities and hers are not aligned and all u want is smash and play, i can see how that can be a nag and bother.
I was the same.
Whats wrong with 2 adults talking things over??

discussion” with a guy about anything halfway serious or regarding something that you may have differing opinions on – it’s considered an “argument”
I dont know about that but if u are having constant arguments on most topics,check the mirror and ur sorroundings,u may be in the wrong place!
Ladies, if u date guys of the same age, u bound to run across guys like that who dont see eye to eye becoz guys are generally slower in their maturity level.Try dating 3 years + older.Just my two on this.
But there is no reason any guy should run away from discussing the long term issues.Either hes in it with u or hes not but a lot times chics dont wanna confront the guy on that issue,coz they like/luv him so much and fear he will dip!!

MissQC ;)

May 5th, 2009
9:19 am

Morning Bloggers….have a great day :)

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
9:19 am

A woman that is confident in herself don’t ask that question, period.

Keep thinking that if you want to Dan. Relationships change, people change. If smooth sailing was happening months 1-6 and in month 7 someone has been distracted by a co-worker or someone else, trust that there may be a relationship check in.

And for someone who has fallen victim to getting their wires crossed with people, you should be open to having any conversation that brings clarity in your life without having to brand someone as “insecure.”

But hey, I will never care, I don’t have to date you. So do what you feel is best.

Raqi

May 5th, 2009
9:20 am

A woman that is confident in herself don’t ask that question, period.

Dan why not ask? Do you all prefer a woman to assume what is? See for some going out and engaging in couple activities for several months and sometimes years is considered dating. A relationship. But guys that think like you are known to say you never agreed that it was dating or a relationship so it is not. Just kicking it.

Dan

May 5th, 2009
9:20 am

It’s not avoidance, Raqi. Not at all.

And I guess my way of proving validation is by doing as opposed to saying. While not opposed to saying it, I’d rather not have to.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
9:20 am

Bill, a mother of 3 not needing a cat she really cares for? Reread that letter with the fugg you decoder. That chick is gone. Coudn’t even get a hug? Wow.

Ared, Blanca was looking for the door from the minute she came in with that “looking for approval” bs. Talk about hsish, you had to dumb down and think back to the day when you cared what the fugg your friends thought. Couldn’t open up on time 60% of the time and never popped in. Yeah, she was just passing through.

On topic: I say whats on my mind then I’m on to another topic. I did something to last gf and she got home and called and told me I hurt her feelings about something I did. I apologized and we went on. Thats was cool.

Off topic: I just had a convo with my cabby and he was teaching me new arabic words. This is really getting to be pretty cool. We swapped numbers and he said he’ll work with me whenever I need it. I’m on my way to learning arabic. I’m pumped.

ImAPeach404

May 5th, 2009
9:21 am

RED – I’m with you on the “not wanting to come across as difficult/nag”. I hold back a lot for trying to be “the cool chick”.

MYTWO – Thanks. Sometimes I wonder if I’m alone in my ways…

DAN – to piggyback on what Red said about “showing” and “telling”… you should read “The Five Love Languages”. If you’re not into reading, I can hit you off with a synopsis

RAQI – Chile, they don’t know WHAT they want.

BILL – Don’t listen to Melo.

Dan

May 5th, 2009
9:24 am

@Raqi

But you’re reffering to “guys” in general. Getting to know someone is about getting to know how/when they communicate.

As far as a conversation, I can have a conversation about most anything with anyone, I’m not opposed to it.

@Melo

When you’re actively dating someone, these conversations come up in discussion about goals and plans. I’m not talking about those, I’m talking about the monthly/quarterly check in’s.

mytw♥cents

May 5th, 2009
9:26 am

RAQI Your 9:06 reminds me to say that you will really like Crisette Michelle’s song Porcelain Doll (if u like her style)cuz ur Raqi & cuz of how much you liked Spotlight. Now STACEYE will Love It, but then she may have actually written it after listenin’ to those lyrics.

Raqi

May 5th, 2009
9:29 am

TwoLincolns I will check her out. Thanks.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
9:31 am

While not opposed to saying it, I’d rather not have to.

That sounds like insecurity to me. And definitely “avoidence” as Raqi put it. Not everyone will interpret “doing” the same way. Some of the things you “do” may be things they interpret as something different than what your intention.

$ Bill

May 5th, 2009
9:41 am

Melo and Truth: I hear you and looked at ALL of that. There’s no game and no BS. Just straight “truth” from someone trying to make something of herself. Before school started, the time AND effort was there with no pretense. This is someone that IS genuine, which is RARE in ATL. All I can do is be there for her and not be an overly egotistical man.

Thanks for the support Peach!

Raqi

May 5th, 2009
9:41 am

Dan I know this has never, ever, eva happened to a red blooded man residing on God’s green earth (sarcasm noted) but if it should ever take place, how would he (you) feel if after investing time into a woman and relationship she let it be known that you all are just friends. Just kicking it. Hanging out. Potnahs. You are loving her and you think she is loving you, but in her mind yall just cool. NO heat whatsoever.

Would not asking the right questions at the appropriate time eliminate the devastation and wasted time?

Assumptions just makes an @ss of all involved.

$ Bill

May 5th, 2009
9:45 am

Thanks for sharing your experience Profeesor!

Dan

May 5th, 2009
9:46 am

@ARed

It’s not avoidance or insecurity. It’s me being more apt to show caring rather than to state it.

Dan

May 5th, 2009
9:49 am

It has happened to me Raqi, although I wasn’t in love, but definitely digging the young lady.

And you know what, after having that conversation, we’re still friends and the only that has changed is my focus.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
9:51 am

It’s not avoidance or insecurity

What’s really funny about you Dan is how you are quick to dismiss these “avoidance” or “insecurity” tags…when it certainly looks like it to the rest of us. But then, you’re so quick to brand someone else as being insecure.

Not wanting to have a conversation is avoidance. You may be more “apt” to want to do something else, but you not wanting to have said conversation and certainly not bringing it up yourself is avoidance. Plain and simple.

There are folks out there who are spin doctors, this seems to be something you are. Some folks can pass off ish as roses. But some people are able to see things for what they are, no matter how you spin it.

Professor

May 5th, 2009
9:53 am

NP, Bill I understand when you are trying to work towards a few goals and you are stressed out. I can remember being too tired to eat.

Raqi

May 5th, 2009
9:54 am

WiseDiva this is how I see it. An issue can be like a cancer, if left untreated it will eventually kill the subject (relationship). If it is dealt with in its early stages the infected area can possibly be treated or removed and all made well.

A lot of people die from cancer because they don’t like going to the doctor so they just ignore the symptom or problems hoping it will go away. By the time do go or the cancer causes other problems that forces them to go, it’s to late.

Often in relationships we overlook symptoms or choose not to deal with them and in doing so it is slowly killing the relationship. We jump in at the last moment and try to make it good by often times it soon over takes the relationship. There is no cure. It is too far gone.

That’s why I like to deal with matters as they come, whether he or anyone else see it has confrontation. At least that way we can figure out what needs to be done if anything to rectify the situation.

If your mate is forced to not deal with matters it only festers within them. Give them space to let it out. Find a cure.

LOL WiseDiva not all of that was directed toward you. I was just giving my opinion on the topic as a whole.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
9:57 am

Bravo on your 9:54 Raqi. Well said.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
9:59 am

@Raqi…”An issue that is not mended is sure to rear its ugly head again”. I know there are many blank pages in the book called “All I Have Learned in my Life about Women”, but one thing I HAVE learned is that most arguments with a woman have little or nothing to do with the current issue. It is about something that was left unresolved weeks or months before that has been simmering just under the surface. A man scratches his head and his azz trying to figure out “where did THAT come from, and why is it such a big deal”, when it is not even about the current issue but about something he did before.

If you want harmony in your life, you have two choices as a man, 1) stay away from women completely and become a monk, or 2) learn to NEVER let an issue go unresolved for long because it almost never totally goes away. It is what it is.

Raqi

May 5th, 2009
9:59 am

So Dan what happens when your woman starts planning you all wedding and future based on your aptness of showing caring rather than to state it? Do you buy the house and show up for the wedding?

I know that is reaching a bit, but I am just trying to show where it is important to talk and state certain things. Call it what it is. Or ask the dreaded question.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
10:06 am

Bill, when a chick kicks me in the azz I check to verify its a footprint then get gone. Sometimes in love we lose and you gotta pick it the pieces and move on. Anyway, you do you and wait around for new cat to finish busting her azz out the frame and you can be there to mop up the mess.

I swear I try to understand you cats but its beyond me. A dude told me sunday he gave his ex wife 300% and she left him. Thing is he didnt give her the
one thing she wanted, more loot. Know the chick you’re dealing with and all this becomes clear. Good luck.

Btw, when did realizing that a chick doesnt want your azz make you egotistical? We used to call it good sense.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
10:08 am

I check to verify its a footprint

:lol:

Morning, boo. :)

Grace

May 5th, 2009
10:14 am

I’m the type that just likes to say what’s bothering me and move on quickly – that’s me right there

Bill I have to agree with Truth on this one. My question is why didn’t she call you instead of sending you a Dear Bill letter?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
10:14 am

Truth “Know the chick you’re dealing with and all this becomes clear”

Actually very good advice. Understanding women is like trying to hit a moving target sometimes, or peeling an onion one layer at a time. It does seem that I have tended to understand a woman the best AFTER she is way back in the rear view mirror. If I could just figure things out before I’ve finished the book, life would be great.

But I do agree with you, that if one can figure out what the lady really wants early, then it is a whole lot easier to cut one’s losses.

Dan

May 5th, 2009
10:20 am

@Raqi

I agree with your 9:54 as well.

But the “planning the marriage” is extreme, if I haven’t asked (or she hasn’t) that’s foolishness.

@ARed

I do spin things to get to the root of it. Becuase I’ve found that the women I’m dating aren’t asking “the” question, but some version of it that they think is acceptable to me. Now I don’t preface all of my statement on here in that fashion and perhaps I should.

Typically, like Randy stated, the argument isn’t “the” argument and [from my experience] the question is not “the” question. That’s where that strong comes in for me ask me exactly what you want to know and say exactly what you mean. (the nebulous you)

MELO

May 5th, 2009
10:21 am

$Bill so how are u supporting the graduate girl,u spending more time with her kids instead??
Ur topic is actually more fun discussing than Wise Diva’s.

$ Bill

May 5th, 2009
10:21 am

Grace: We had actually talked about everything on a few occasions. It wasn’t until she discovered how much time and effort was involved with her medically classes that I received that message.

By the way, we did get to know each other very well as far ad wants/needs/goals. I just learned to understand that it’s not all about me all the time.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
10:25 am

Dan – Yes all your spinning makes folks dizzy. This message board posts in black and white so that’s what I see things in.

You stated earlier that if a woman wants to have the conversation, “It just reeks of insecurity to me”

Yet you say that you don’t want to have the converstation and it’s not insecurity.

So using logic a “teller” is insecure, but a “show-er” is not. It’s two different ways to get to the same destination. So why is the one you don’t do the insecure way? Just because you don’t prefer that method?

Again, I’m using logic, so why is it insecure to go one route (telling) and not your route (showing)?

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

May 5th, 2009
10:28 am

What it do blog fam?!

Guys, have you ever dated a woman who was like you in the sense that she hated confrontations?

I one of those women who don’t like to argue ’cause all that shyt does is raise my blood pressure and I don’t have time for that. If I have an issue I’ll state it and be done…I’d rather talk and reason,agree or agree to disagree and keep it moving. I know couples who aren’t happy unless there is some dumb ish poppin’ off and I can’t fathom that being me…EVER.

$ BILL I understand your friend having to stay focused for school and her chirren but there is a thing we professionals call TACT and she should/could have used just a little with the way she told you what she was going through. However if she,for whatever reasons, just doesn’t want to be bothered with YOU then press on my man…press on. Don’t be salty though….it’s her loss.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
10:31 am

@$Bill …”By the way, we did get to know each other very well as far ad wants/needs/goals”.

Good start but be very careful with this statement. It is dangerous to assume that what someone tells you in June still applies in December. I can tell you from experience (thus the screen name) that sometimes early in a relationship a woman may not be totally clear to you or even to herself about what she really wants. A conversation is just a snapshot in time about what a person is thinking on that day at that time. Like the weather outside, it can change daily, weekly, monthly, as that person evolves, so a person has to always keep trying to determine in a relationship what the other needs/wants.

Been there, done that…I can show you the t-shirts.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
10:37 am

It is dangerous to assume that what someone tells you in June still applies in December. I can tell you from experience (thus the screen name) that sometimes early in a relationship a woman may not be totally clear to you or even to herself about what she really wants.

This is human nature period. Change the parameters of a situation, and the opinions will change, much like the seasons.

That’s why communcation is important. Even if the person you’re with would rather avoid it.

Dan

May 5th, 2009
10:41 am

@Ared

Great question.

From my perspective as a do-er I percieve affection in acts performed by me and for me. So I take your point that is was dismissive to call someone else’s expressiong (in this case “telling”) as insecure. Maybe I was wrong to state it like that, but again, my perspective says that “telling” is not always necessary.

But that’s why I’m open to it. If I discern that the woman that I’m dating needs me to tell her that, that’s fine; and I’ll work to do that for her.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
10:43 am

Bill, my last comments on this one. Like Grace said if she cared she could have said it face to face. You send an email to a knockoff or someone you dont care about or respect. Like I said, good luck.

90% of the convo’s going on dont need to be had. If a cat said what was on his mind every 5 minutes the relationship wouldn’t last but 4. Try thinking about something else. We can either be thinking about the vacation we want to take, our mutually agreed future plans, or how you felt about the way I looked at your yellow dress. Its all our choice.

Fellas, if we dont give a chick something good to think about she’ll create something bad. Share your plans or goals(assuming you have some) with her and if she can’t saddle up with those mosey on down the road. We all know cats that cant even go home because they’ve let that chicks mind run wild for years. Now she’s outta control and saying whatever she likes. This is not acceptable.

Randy, better than trying to figure her out is figure out her temperment. Her temperment tells you all you need to know about her.

Dog story: I had a female presa named Asia that died in 2007. She was the hardest biting dog I’ve EVER seen. She would maul a grown man. Anyway, her first inclination was to bite anyone that got near. That was her natural temperment. You couldn’t train it out of her. Sexycool, JB went out on my deck with her and she turned around and tried to attack him. She was borderline psychotic. Anyway, my point is since I knew this about her I had to take precautions whenever I had her around people, or dogs or other animals. Same thing with a chick or dude. If they get all fired up because the waiter seems too slow thats their natural temperment. You can work with them but internally whenever that happens they’re going to get pissed. Understand their temperment and you can work comfortably with anyone, assuming you’re comfortable with yourself.

Sorry, you all know I love throwing dog stories in every now and then. LOL

Ared, hey boo boo snookems. I’m so glad we dont have these concerns in our love relationship. Oh the joy.

LIONESS- Loving Life!

May 5th, 2009
10:43 am

Good Morning All :)

Why is it considered a confrontation instead of a conversation? Communication is key in a relationship so why call it a confrontation when it is actually just a conversation.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
10:44 am

@ARED “That’s why communcation is important. Even if the person you’re with would rather avoid it”.

I agree 100%, even under the best of circumstances, relationships are tough. I know few, if any, relationships that have endured and prospered without continued communications.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
10:44 am

until she discovered how much time and effort was involved with her medically classes that I received that message

And the message came to u by way of an email..she sent me an e-mail letting me know where her focus needed to be during this REALLY stressful period….from somebody who really cares for u the sameway u do for her???!!!! HA :twisted:

My mayne…do u need me to check ur eyes coz u maybe going blind here….
So again,are u the one taking care of the kids more now since shes in school or they are hands off to u as well…..???

Grace

May 5th, 2009
10:46 am

Bill I understand your friend having goals and focusing on them aside of being a single parent, my props to her. It seems that now is the time that she would need you the most especially with having 3 kids and trying to do her studies and day to day living.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
10:47 am

So I take your point that is was dismissive to call someone else’s expressiong (in this case “telling”) as insecure.

Thanks Dan. That’s pretty much what I’m getting at.

It’s never easy to have those difficult conversatoins. Especially when it’s with someone you like and when you know that the outcome may not mean “happily ever after” with that person. To me, it takes a lot of strength to go there. It’s often much easier to stick youer head in the sand.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
10:47 am

@Truth “Randy, better than trying to figure her out is figure out her temperment. Her temperment tells you all you need to know about her”.

Interesting point. I think I agree but let me think about it some.

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
10:49 am

When you know who you are and what you want, you can set some expectations upfront. Nothing wrong with having conversations from time to time to make sure that you are moving along at the same pace and that the understanding is understood. No use in any one who is capable of communicating verbally to sit around with questions or making assumptions.

I think that some women tend to be hesitant to bring up the topic because they don’t want to ’scare him off.’ Well, for me, if a logical adult conversation rattles you, then you AIN’T the one for me.

Three Words Daily – Elevate your mind.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
10:49 am

Dog story: I had a female presa named Asia……. Anyway, my point is since I knew this
Forget it Truth,6′Lis gonna bust in anytime soon to kick ur azz on that comparison of ur dog with chicks, LMAOF :lol:

Dan

May 5th, 2009
10:50 am

@Bill

She’s told you what you needed to know in the (non-confrontational) email.

I think what’s being said is valid. Don’t keep worrying about the way in, she closed the door.

It’s hard, folks (believe me I know), but the relationship you want is not want she wants (if not now, maybe not from you). Take that you did what could for it and move on.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
10:51 am

Ared, hey boo boo snookems. I’m so glad we dont have these concerns in our love relationship. Oh the joy.

Truth, I am glad too, jujubee. I love how you recognized my temperment and love me anyway. *mwah*

Grace

May 5th, 2009
10:52 am

“she’s left the door open to future possibilities”….Sorry, but she didn’t. That door closed when she sent you the email. Bill take it for face value, she’s moving on with her life and you’re nowhere in the equation. I don’t know how much you’ve invested in the relationship but from what you’ve written you’ve invested a lot. It’s unfair but it is what it is.

Dan

May 5th, 2009
10:52 am

@ARed

Truth stated it better than I have. It’s not about not wanting to have the conversation, my temperment does require me to have it. And given the woman, that’s fine.

But as you learn a person, you learn what works for them and adjust (should you choose to).

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
10:54 am

I think that some women tend to be hesitant to bring up the topic because they don’t want to ’scare him off.’ Well, for me, if a logical adult conversation rattles you, then you AIN’T the one for me.

Great point SexyCool. Many of us women are painted with that same “illogical and irrational” brush when it’s not always warrented.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
10:56 am

Truth stated it better than I have

Which is common.

Go ahead and spin it Dan. That’s not what you were talking about before, nor was that really my point. I was asking why she had to be insecure to want have the conversation.

But whatever dude. Glad someone articulated what you couldn’t seem to. :|

$ Bill

May 5th, 2009
10:56 am

All: I haven’t given all of the details, but I do appreciate the feedback.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
11:00 am

In reading Dan’s 10:50 post to Bill, I am reminded of how we all want so desperately sometimes for everyone to be reading the tea leaves the wrong way, thinking that they just do not understand all of the facts. We think that the other party is just “going through a phase” and will regain his/her senses…so we keep hoping and making excuses to others who are telling us what is obvious to them.

The sad part is that almost always everyone sees the truth before the injured party…been there, done that also. I was dating “The Flake” several years ago. We would have an absolutely incredible night together, and then late the next day she would start “thinking” and start lacing up those “New Balances” and doing her best imitation of the “Runaway Bride”. Everyone around me said “yes she is great looking, but SHE IS A FLAKE!!!”. I would make excuses for her, when everyone BUT ME could see the truth. Unfortunately the truth was not what I WANTED to hear.

Sorry Bill, but I agree with Dan and the others…she is trying to “gently suggest” that it is time to move on.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
11:07 am

Ared my wittle love lump, that reminds me of Poppa saying “he knows the crazy” he has to deal with. I understand clearly what he means now.

Sexy azz cool chick, if you meet a cat and he’s walking the talk doesn’t that answer most of your questions? I mean, alot fo the confusion comes from a cats words and actions not adding up. True or False? Please circle the correct answer.

Bill, no problem. We’re always here for ya buddy. LMAO

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
11:10 am

@Bill…perhaps the best solution is to tell her that you agree and you will start seeing others…and do it. It may be a whole Smoky Robinson “Tracks of my Tears” thing, but if she is just “confused” then this will bring her out of her “confusion” really quickly. If not, you have taken the first step toward moving on.

This is what I would do, but then what do I know?

MELO

May 5th, 2009
11:10 am

Randy, i asked him a simple qstion,he wont answer.We dont know all the details,he says.
Thats sounds like beautiful(cali girl), slamming the door shut with her bye-all hair flip, when the going gets tough and she decides to bolt. :lol:

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
11:13 am

And you shall know The Truth – If the understanding is understood and if he’a walking the talk, then I agree. The need for a conversation lessens. However, what in the heck is wrong with talking to each other?

Yes, I want to SEE you in action, but being who I am, HEARING you confirm with words is like foreplay. If you are DOING the right thing and SAYING it too, you can get anything I’ve got.

You're the perfect VERSE over a tight BEAT!

May 5th, 2009
11:17 am

morning bloggers. BEAUTIFUL here trying to get out the house in 10 mins! doesn’t look good.

women over exaggerate everything! if i was a man i’ll walk away too.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
11:23 am

Cool, I mean lets say we meet and I’m showing interest and am available when you call, to a certain degree, and we’re making plans to do things and so forth. Do I then need to tell you that I enjoy your company and want more of it or is the bond we’re creating enough to suffice? Let me know so I can type out my intentions and email you a copy right now.

I’ve had chicks tell me so much shyt its not worth repeating but the ones I remember were the ones that were doing vs saying. Personally I could care less what is said but am very concerned with what is done. And I thought you dug my foreplay? Is my sex wack? Ooops, I shouldn’t have said that here, huh?

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
11:24 am

Yup Melo, there is a reason for the old adage “Love is Blind” (but they need to add, “…and Dayum Stupid” too). I can say this with much practical experience. I have done some of the dumbest things in my life because of women (i.e, waxing my back, MTF that hurt like a byitch…my first and my last experience with that…I tremble now when I think about it). I look back now at some of the many stupid things I have done, and just say “what the hellz was I thinking?” LOL

Foots

May 5th, 2009
11:25 am

Bill I’m pretty interested to hear the rest of the story. Something happened between you two that scared her off and prompted that email. School and kids are just a convenient scape goat for her. Did you ask more of her than she was willing to give right now or pushing her to make some sort of decision regarding you?

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 5th, 2009
11:29 am

TRUTH…As-salaam Wa’alaykum habibi!

Foots

May 5th, 2009
11:29 am

the ones I remember were the ones that were doing vs saying. Personally I could care less what is said but am very concerned with what is done

Not necessarily directed at you Truth, but that doesn’t come as a surprise, because most men are “doers” by nature, so they respond well to that. So in addition to understanding a woman’s temperament, a man also needs to understand that men and women are different, he may be a doer and she might be a feeler/talker. Her way is not wrong, it’s just different than yours, and is just as valid. Just as women indulge men by doing it their way from time to time, indulge us by doing it our way from time to time.

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
11:30 am

Truth – Why do you have to be in charge ALL THE TIME? Every now and then, can’t you give it to me the way I want it?

Besides, there’s more than one kind of foreplay. You’ve got to be able to excite my mind before you can enter my body.

As to YOUR sex, well, I would have to ask someone who knows.

$ Bill

May 5th, 2009
11:32 am

Foots: YES. I wanted more.

Foots

May 5th, 2009
11:35 am

What do you do when you lose interest in someone new and there is not really a “break up” needed, but the person confronts you about where they stand?

The last time this happened, everything was going along fine until he said something that let me know that he was about 50 pages ahead of me. I had to let him know that I wasn’t on that page and that if it was a problem for him, maybe we should just be friends. He assured me that he could be patient, but I had to take the out. It’s not that he did anything wrong, per se, I knew he was the type who would be really hurt months down the road if I never developed the type of feelings he had. And I didn’t see myself developing them, so I had to vacate for his sake.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
11:37 am

Randy, thats the joy of relationships. You get to do stupid shyt and chalk it up to experience. Its not that serious, you look back and laugh. Now if you continue to do dumb shyt that you know isnt right then that should make you wanna slap yourself. Some folks act like they’ve been beat because they spent to much or gave to much or whatever. Thats where you were at that moment so learn and move on. My .02

Beautiful, the back of your dress is caught in your underwear elastic and your azz is showing. I thought I’d let you know before you ran out the door.

Foots, I think he’s so understanding that shyt irked the hell out of her. My .02 I know chicks say they want a dude thats understanding but something just doesn’t seem right about a cat like that.

Raqi

May 5th, 2009
11:37 am

I am all for having a doer however we still have to establish what it is we are doing. That can only be determined by having a conversation.

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
11:39 am

Good Morning/Afternoon all,

Yeah I am pretty much a shoot from the hip type of woman. I don’t mind a good arguement now and then(keeps you regular) But I will admit I have my moments of whateva..and just walk away. They are rare..and lawd knows it has taken some special menfolks to get me to back off. But it has happen.

Foots

May 5th, 2009
11:41 am

Bill That’s why she did what she did. She could handle the school, the kids, the layoff, the divorce AND you, until you started demanding more from her. Then she just saw you as something else she needed to DO. And she has enough to DO. She probably wishes that you wouldn’t have said anything so that you could remain in her life because she likes you, but I’ve been in that place before, that if one more person asks me for one more thing, that person has to go.

Keep your distance for a while, and if you want to, shoot her an email in a month or so to ask her how the kids are and how school is going. Say nothing about you and her and don’t even ask her about herself. She might not answer if you do. Choose the two topics that she will want to converse about: her children and her education. She will talk about that, and eventually ask you about how you are doing. That may be your entrance into friendship.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
11:43 am

Truth…I agree. I would not trade the stupid shyte I’ve done, because it is funny when I look back…but I have learned from each mistake, screw up, whatever. The ones that cry and moan about how they are “so mistreated” and yet have a pattern of putting themselves into the same position with the same kind of SO again and again do make me a bit nauseous. I have no sympathy at all for them.

Everyone makes mistakes, unless they are in a cemetary somewhere…but LEARN from them. It is not rocket science.

$ Bill

May 5th, 2009
11:45 am

Foots: How can I contact you?

Dan

May 5th, 2009
11:47 am

And Foots, I’mma disagree with you there (11:41),

If Bill still wants more and she doesn’t, don’t be the guy “waiting” on her to come around Bill. If you know you want more from her, you’re only pretending to be her friend. This is not Hollywood, she will not see what a great guy you are, you will not pass GO, you will not collect the $200.

IF you still want more Bill, walk away, a get over the loss. She doesn’t want to give you more. And should the time come that she does want you, it’s on her to tell you then – you should not be standing waiting for a bus that may never come. You might miss out on a better ride.

Dan

May 5th, 2009
11:48 am

@Randy

You and me both brother you and me both.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
11:51 am

Foots, point well taken and well said. I shall ponder that as well as the meaning of life and get back to you. Really, I didnt look at it from that point of view so I’m trying to stall to come up with an equally snazzy reply. Hold on, my phone is ringing. LOL

Staceye, wa’ alaykum as-salaam baby

LIONESS- Loving Life!

May 5th, 2009
11:52 am

These comments are DEEP!!

Bill- WOW!!

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
11:54 am

Who is Bill and why does he sound like he has stalker tendancies?

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
11:56 am

Good day everyone!

Why let any issue linger? Deal with it then and now! You now have room to ride out the new wave that’s building. You’re absolutely correct Raqi,it’s like a cancer and if left alone it will soon start ooozzing puss (cuss words, nasty glares, disrespct).

@ImAPeach, I agree w/your 8:55.

@$Bill, it’s cool that you’re defending your ex girl and even understanding where she’s coming from. Don’t you feel at all slighted that she text you rather than calling you. Must admit, that was tacky, at best!

Foots

May 5th, 2009
11:56 am

Bill Hit me up at footswalker77@yahoo.com.

Dan I didn’t tell him to wait for her, I gave him insight on how the demand that he made led her to cancel the interaction. She didn’t kick him to the curb because she didn’t like him, she did it because she can’t do all she needs to do AND give him more than she can right now. She was fine with the friendship and the rate at which they were developing, so this is how to get the friendship back.

He can screw whoever he wants during their friendship, if that’s what your concern is, but apparently, he values what she brings to his life and wants to salvage it if possible.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
11:57 am

Foots: How can I contact you?
Believe this Foots,i laughed out loud when i saw that typo,pple in my office were wondering whats up :lol:
Plz oblige and give the man an outlet.
Smetimes a grown man just needs a warm woman’s shlder to lean on :lol:

Professor

May 5th, 2009
12:02 pm

Foots I agree with your 11:41 post. When you are tired and drained (school is an investment) and you want an ROI and the kids are not going anywhere. You have to relieve the stressors you can control. The kids are staying, and you do not want to drop out of school so you dropout of the relationship. I have been there done that and will probably have to do it again. However, I have been in a relationship where the support was unlimited and actually eliminated the stress so I guess it just depends.

If I were a betting person I would say she sent that email one night or early morning when she was drained and unable to do it any longer.

LIONESS- Loving Life!

May 5th, 2009
12:03 pm

I can’t stand when people tell people to leave people when they are not the ones in that person’s shoes!

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
12:03 pm

Foots..you are a good one..because what I detected from old Bill is more of the selfish/needy/pay attention to me. And IMO that screams stalker. This man(if he is a man) reads like a wounded bear. Bears bite. And he honed in on you because while your words were wise they were an excuse he found pleasant to the eyes. “Yeahh that’s it..that’s why lets go with that.”

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
12:05 pm

@Melo Dude is going to be emailing her at 2:00am.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 5th, 2009
12:06 pm

Morning Folks (oh, I guess it’s afternoon now, but it was morning when I first pulled up the blog)!

Happy Cinco de Mayo I will be celebrating after work – wish I could be there at 4:00 like AmRed though.

Raqi’s 9:54 summed it up for me. Quite a few good quotes by other female bloggers (SexyCool’s comment about adult conversations, Kym’s comment about it keeping you regular :lol: ) Not much else I can add except:

GO ROCKETS!!!

Dan

May 5th, 2009
12:08 pm

@Foots

When a man or woman wants more than the other party is willing to give that creates prollems. Those feelings don’t go away because you have a “title” that says friends. One party is still wanting more – and that creates and unequitable relationship. It’s not balance.

My concern is never for anyone’s sex life. What I’m saying is that his desire to have her HOW he wants her will overwhelm his desire to “just” have her in his life.

If he can’t be just a friend he doesn’t need contact. He’s lying to her and to himself.

Now if Bill is able to shut down the emotions he has for the young lady (which by his posts, he can’t) fine. But I doubt it.

Give yourself some time to get past it, bruh. If you really wanna be her friend – know that it’s platonic and she’ll likely never love you like you want her to right now. Develop a real friendship on real terms

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 5th, 2009
12:08 pm

That should have read GO ROCKETS!!!

Ladies, do you think men avoid confrontation because the way women react when things get intense? Have you found a way to handle the confrontations with a little bit of finesse that won’t make the man cringe or run for the hills?

Yup and yup. Usually when I initiate a conversation that may be translated by a PwP as a confrontration, I start with a smile on my face and my voice a little higher and softer than usual.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 5th, 2009
12:09 pm

OK, my tags aren’t working today. You’d think I already had some margaritas.

Foots

May 5th, 2009
12:10 pm

MELO Why you so CRAZY!!! LOL!!

Dan You’ve (or any other dude on here) probably had his same situation in your own life, but the shoe was on the other foot. You probably didn’t even send an email, you probably just vanished. It went something like this: You hanging out with a chick you like, y’all vibe, y’all have a good time, no real committment, no pressure, it’s just cool. You have a couple of irons in the fire business wise, so you’re not really trying to develop something deep. Then she wants to have “THE TALK” about where this is going. You thinking that everything is going along just fine, but dayum, why she had to say something and mess it up. You can’t give her an answer because though you like her, you don’t know yourself if you have the time to devote to a full relationship and you may not even want to. So to avoid the inevitable conversation and possibly her tears, you disappear. You liked the chick, but you couldn’t handle a full-blown deal with all the other ish you got going on right now, and her bringing it up made you have to make a decision RIGHT THEN.

Have you ever been in this position? I have, and I described mine a little earlier today. I did have the convo over the phone though.

LIONESS- Loving Life!

May 5th, 2009
12:11 pm

Kym- LMMFAO!!!

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
12:13 pm

Leave Bill be. I think it’s great that he has someone who he is willing to be patient for. Had he come on here any other way, he would have been villified for being uncaring and failing to understand.

If he is cool chilling in the Friend Zone while she makes herself better, then so be it.

In fact, kudos to her for not trying to DO IT ALL. Contrary to what feminists have been cramming down our throats for the last 30 years, we are not superwomen. Besides, I ain’t mad at a sista who is working to better herself and put her kids first.

Bill, she sounds like a solid chick.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
12:13 pm

Prof, if I were a betting man I’d say some cat is pulling her wig with intensity and the feelings have shot through her crotch. Then again my uncle is cro-magnon man so what do I know.

Randy, the fun is looking back at some of the dumb stuff we did and enjoy it for what it was. When I was 16 a chick told me she was pregnant, which wouldn’t have been a problem but I came on myself before I even got it in. Took me a week and a few talks with friends to figure out that wasnt possible.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
12:14 pm

Kym,in the past i have been rejected by chics that i really digged.However, I cldnt see myself typing that 8.44 am with a str8 face,like our buddy $Bill did.
A man must learn to take it on the shin/stomack,shut up and suck it up! :lol: No crying out loud and no whimp behavior!! :lol:

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
12:16 pm

Truth are you out there? I need your sage advice on something.

Foots

May 5th, 2009
12:17 pm

Dan And to me, that IS a friendship based on real terms. Hellz, my best friend now, we’ve been friends since 2001…we worked together and developed what I thought was a real friendship. He eventually let it be known that he wanted more and I didn’t. It put a strain on things and he was wise to pull back for a while.

When we started conversing again, it was about innocuous topics, he never brought “us” up. And eventually, the friendship became even more than it was before.

He may only be just her friend, like in my situation, or he may end up being more. And I say that because they were vibing on that level in the first place.

I agree with you, some time needs to be taken to heal the raw emotion, but the underlying caring will never stop.

Kym You might be right! LOL!

lurker

May 5th, 2009
12:19 pm

Okay….haven’t read….slammed with work…just popping….will go back and read later….I guess I don’t understand why men think women should not be reactionary (is that a word). First of all, a woman comes with emotions, part of her make-up/dna…lol Next, I don’t understand the concept of “controlling”….no I don’t mean I should become a screaming banshee at the sight of a disagreement but, if I’m not feeling right about something or my reaction to something is “deemed”, I’m not understanding that invisible gauge of only being allow 3 tears as oppose to crying a river or speaking above a whisper as opposed to a tone over the norm. Like I said, I’m not talking being out of control per se but wouldn’t the situation in itself dictate my reactions? Is there such a thing as emotional etiquette? Or…am I just rambling and overthinking?

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
12:19 pm

Sexy I have no problem with ole stalker-I mean Bill. Heck if I need advice on men I really try to ask a man. Why cause men know men. If men want advice on women hell they should really ask a woman. Why cause women know women. It’s cool that Foots is going to help him out..but if she winds up missing one foot..we will know who got it. LMAO

Foots

May 5th, 2009
12:20 pm

Truth When I was 16 a chick told me she was pregnant, which wouldn’t have been a problem but I came on myself before I even got it in.

Your honesty is hilarious!!

LIONESS- Loving Life!

May 5th, 2009
12:20 pm

Leggs- I agree! That is one of the ULTIMATE coward moves! Have the decency to let me know face to fact OR on the phone (at least)!

Dan

May 5th, 2009
12:21 pm

@Foots

You’re right, I’ve been on both sides of that fence.

And I had the classic move: Non confrontational, I don’t need to see the hurt on your face, “it’s me, not you”, I wish you happiness in life, and I hope that we could be friends.

And quite often, the ladies stuck around hoping I’d chage my mind until she either figured out it wasn’t going to happen or got tired of waiting.

Been on the other side too. Puppy eyed waiting on her to see “it” in me, until I came to the same realization.

And that’s why I’m trying to (in my way) help Bill. Because there’s typically, statistically no way this works out in his favor. Better to realize that now, IMO.

@Sexy

That friend zone ain’t nothing nice – especially when you want more.

One Foot (that's for Kym!!)

May 5th, 2009
12:21 pm

Girl, you crazy too!

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
12:21 pm

Kym – girl, you’re a nut. So, it’s safe to say that if FOOTS starts signing on as FOOT, we know that there was a problem somewhere. LMAO!

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 5th, 2009
12:23 pm

I used to be the confrontational type. Not that I have mellowed. I will still let you know if you p*ss me off or you are getting on my nerves. But now I pick my battles. If I have been with you for a while and feel like we are worth saving, then I will approach you and let you know how I feel about things. If I am so not into you….over you, etc…then I just do as a man and leave it be. But the difference is men think that will make the situation work itself out and you get over what is upsetting you and things go back to normal. But if I wash my hands of something…that means I am done. I do not want it to be business as usual. I want you to go away. My tolerance for BS and unwanted drama is 0. What I used to tolerate yesterday is no longer tolerable today. If I meet a guy and we make plans and he stands me up, cancels or shows lack of respect for my time…he is deleted and forgotten. No do-overs. You just should me what type of guy you are from the start. Thank you for not letting me waste too much time on you. Doesn’t make you a bad person…just a bad choice for me. Now you are free to go find a woman that allows this type of behavior from you. Like KYM…I shoot straight from the hip…give it to you straight with no chaser.

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
12:25 pm

Dan – I agree.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
12:27 pm

If he is cool chilling in the Friend Zone while she makes herself better, then so be it

I told u all,$Bill situation is more fun!!

SexyCool,u and Foots are really nice chics.I Like u both,sensitive and treating ur menfolk really nice,like u doing to $Bill,thats cool.But as men,we are expected to know better.
That chic said to him in the nicesst possible way that she had to go her own way.And she was gangsta with it by not talking it face to face but by email.A man must learn to read that the same way we ask u ladies to read guys who are not good.
Dont wait for an outside to tell u what u already know.No honest guy worth his salt will want to be in the friend zone unless hes set on one goal…PUUUUUdsy!! Thats what Dan was alluding to earlier on.And there is no guarantee Mr dollar-dollar $Bill will get it!!Judging by his emotional balance/temperament,we might hear about him on channel 2 in the not too distant future.
But $Bill,who am i to tell this?
Hw old are u buddy??

Foots

May 5th, 2009
12:29 pm

Dan I get what you’re saying. I’ve been on both sides also, and the thing is, I never waited. I always lived my life in the meanwhile. Nor did my best friend, he didn’t wait, not at all (he ended up with two kids the same age from two different women). But we ended up the best of friends, which worked out in both of our favors. Sometimes, a great friendship may be worth more than an good relationship. At least the friendship has the possibility of lasting forever, while the vast majority of relationships end.

abc

May 5th, 2009
12:30 pm

I would dispute that men “hate confrontation”.

She says blue is best, he says he likes red. She undertakes to change his mind, but he doesn’t change his mind. He gets tired of talking about it. She gets mad. He goes out for a beer with the boys.

Is that confrontation avoidance?

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
12:30 pm

Ared my wittle love lump, that reminds me of Poppa saying “he knows the crazy” he has to deal with. I understand clearly what he means now.

Truth – You say all the right things, my sprinkled donut. :D

Tazzee – I won’t be there at 4, the blog is still open. :lol: But some of my friends are off that early and will make sure our table is secured. Are you going some place with “Grande” in the title? Didn’t want to give it all away. :lol:

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
12:30 pm

Dan I agree..been there done that one and off with one fellow for close to 15 years. In the end I realized I loved me more than I could ever love him..and it is hard as hell to walk away. But err..it can only lead to no where fast.

lurker

May 5th, 2009
12:32 pm

DanA woman that is confident in herself don’t ask that question, period.

confidence has nothing to do with wanting to know or making certain we’re on the same page. I could be as confident as ever and not know we’re not on the same accord

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

May 5th, 2009
12:32 pm

When I was 16 a chick told me she was pregnant, which wouldn’t have been a problem but I came on myself before I even got it in. Took me a week and a few talks with friends to figure out that wasnt possible.

Truth LMMAO :) I needed that…thank you……

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
12:36 pm

Whoops, I’m messing up tags too. :lol:

Foots

May 5th, 2009
12:39 pm

Truth Regarding your pregnancy story, I starting dating an 18-year old guy when I was 21. He was afraid to be intimate again (he had only been with one girl) because that girl told him she was pregnant a few months before. There was no proof and he was absolutely positive that he used TWO condoms and they never came off. It took me nearly SIX MONTHS to convince this boy that if that girl was indeed pregnant, she would have had the baby by then.

Young dudes can be quite paranoid! LOL!

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 5th, 2009
12:40 pm

AmRed – same here, friends securing the spot early and I’ll be having at least one Julio’s Gold this evening ;-) I like your commitment to the blog though :lol:

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

May 5th, 2009
12:45 pm

Staceye your 12:23 was soo on point. If it’s worth saving then cool Let’s sraighten it out(Lattimore for you old heads who know the song) but if we’re not “like that” then kick rocks. I feel like when we’re done…we done and that’s it. Maybe some people can be friends with an ex but I can’t cause I’m thinking you’re my ex for a reason so why would I wanna be your friend. I’ve had exes in the past try to get back with me but I don’t back track…..hell I feel verklempt even thinking about it.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
12:45 pm

Young dudes can be quite paranoid! LOL

I was caught up too in that kind of scenario during my final undergrad yr at college!
Baby girl wanted to stick me coz i was showing withdrawal symptoms on the relationship!

Oh shhyyt,Is this confession Day yet???!!! :lol: Ur fault Truth!

Mo (aka Moeisha- looking for a new haircut)

May 5th, 2009
12:46 pm

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Cant wait to get a margarita or two this evening.

I see the Blog is jumping today. I dont like confrontation either and I am just lurking for the most part…..see what Blogsville has to say!

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
12:47 pm

I like your commitment to the blog though

Why thank ya. :lol: I want to duck out early, but don’t think I can. Drinking trumps blogging. :lol:

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do,baby :-)

May 5th, 2009
12:52 pm

HOSE CUERVO, I NEED YOUUUUUUUU!!! I’M TRYNA WAIT BUT IT’S SOOO HARD….MUST STAY FOCUSED……..

Professor

May 5th, 2009
1:03 pm

Truth…now that was funny. I can picture a 16 year old going through that.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
1:11 pm

Kym, you rang? I’m here for you today and always. but I do take weekends off and monday thru fri arent good between 3am and 2am. Other than that I’m here.

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
1:13 pm

Truth this is an offline question. Me thinks me has opened up a huge can of worms..and not sure how to close it back up.

Wise Diva

May 5th, 2009
1:15 pm

I hope she returns soon. All I know is that I will be covering until further notice, but as soon as I know a return date for her, I will share it with you guys. If she doesn’t return, I will let you know that too when I find out.

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
1:19 pm

Wisey its cool we like you. Now if they are trying to shut this show down..they need to send out a memo so we can establish a new stomping ground.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
1:19 pm

Thanks WiseDiva. :) I hope Blanca does come back.

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
1:20 pm

FYI…Chrisette Michele’s CD drops today. It’s on sale at Best Buy and Target. Originally $13.99, marked down to $9.98.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
1:23 pm

Truth…that is funny.

Some “normally sane” people can get some strange ideas when the thought of pregnancy comes along. I was “involved” wiath a lady who had had her tubes tied, and I had been fixed (I mean BOTH of us were fixed), and she ran out and bought a pregnancy test kit when her period was a week late. I guess she figured that even though my vasectomy had worked fine for years, and her tubal had worked fine for years, that maybe things could grow back. All I could do was just indulge her fantasy (while thinking WTF). (HMMM, as I write this I realize that I THOUGHT I was her only lover…HMMM).

abc

May 5th, 2009
1:25 pm

Regarding Bill’s dilemma, the thing that strikes me is that she doesn’t apparently consider you part of her support system. Chicks are all about support systems, especially single chicks. If school, kids and everything are all that stressful, she needs more of a support system than ever. If you’re just a time drain, that speaks for itself. If you’re not part of her support system, that speaks for itself, too.

If you want a chick like that, be a part of her support system.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
1:26 pm

Truth,whats ur email add??

I just forwarded to some of you guys, an online bizness publication from South Africa.Just read the section headed “THE WORLD AFTER 2020′(if u dont wanna mess with it longer),talking about Somali pirates,global fishing resources….Just an african perspective,I guess.Interesting!!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
1:27 pm

Years ago, I read in one of those “Dear Abby” columns, a girl wrote in and said something like, “can a girl get pregnant from oral sex? I think I am pregnant”.

Dear Abby responded, “only if you open your mouth to say yes”.

Wise Diva

May 5th, 2009
1:28 pm

No problem Amazon! I meant to bring it up yesterday and I forgot.

“Kym is like Whoa”, aw thanks! I am trying really hard to get some surprise guest bloggers, to switch things up a little. I appreciate the blog crew not throwing tomatoes LOL! Hang in there, ya’ll

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
1:28 pm

Kym, as I told you hand jobs are technically “relations” and more is expected later. Should I have answered that offline? My bad. Nah, hit me offline, you have my addie.

Wise Diva

May 5th, 2009
1:29 pm

Hey Sexyleggs! I got Chrisette last night from Amazon’s mp3 download for 2.99. LOVE what I hear so far

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 5th, 2009
1:32 pm

MELO got your email….looks interesting.

M I called you but the line was busy. I’ll try again later.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
1:34 pm

No problem, WiseDiva. I was just gonna keep asking til you answered or Blanca came back. :lol:

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 5th, 2009
1:37 pm

hand jobs are technically “relations” and more is expected later.

Now THAT’S a topic to discuss :)

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 5th, 2009
1:38 pm

SASSY….”I’m thinking you’re my ex for a reason so why would I wanna be your friend. I’ve had exes in the past try to get back with me but I don’t back track” Girl I feel you. I do not back track. Now there are about 3 or 4 that I am cool wiht because we realized that we were good friends b4 getting romantically involved. So we were able to go back to it because we should have never been more than friends. But the rest of those mofos….if they were on fire on the street I wouldn’t even pee on them! :lol:

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
1:38 pm

Hoing update in Kuwait: There are actually 2 types of hoing going on in Kuwait i’ve learned.

1) Straight hoing, chick gives you her business card in a mall or on the street and you call when you need attention. Always oriental or from the phillipines. Always.

2) Indirect hoing: You meet chick in a get together or anywhere. She lays with you on day one or two and by day 4 is calling to tell you how nuch she loves you. Day five is another phone call telling you she needs money for blah blah blah. This could be malaysions, orientals, indians, or any other nationality in this camp.

Wise Diva

May 5th, 2009
1:39 pm

LOL @ Sassy, sounds like a set up for freaky friday

Jamoca

May 5th, 2009
1:40 pm

Afternoon you all…

Ms. MyTwo You know “what I’m on” right about now chick…even thinking about laying the ish out, if for nothing more than for the helluvit…just to get the <—- “I reject that” response.

So I must admit, how I can truly understand why for him, ot definitely “got” “Hard To Breath”.

I can actually dig what some folks are saying about “the way” she brought the issue to you, Bill…however, I “naturally” can appreciate Foots’ response to you as well. Believe me, dude, you ain’t gotta explain, flow by flow…detail for detail to NO ONE here. Nobody knows the situation like you do, to include the woman you speak of.

See, I’ve also admired folks who were honest enough with themselves to know what they could and could not do (to their best ability) as well as being big enough to admit that she’s not “every woman”. One of my pet peeves being that if you’re going to do something, do it right…if not, for whatever reason…get the “FOCK” out the way. Only “whole azzes” need apply, no room for half azz naythin.

Bill, this would be a good time to focus on yourself more, while throwing in a little soul searching ya’ self…heyal, you asked her to multitask, so why can’t you. Point being…make sure you’re really down for this kind of ride though, straight up and from a single mother of 3 myself (who gracefully bowed-out of the entire dating realm)…due to various reasons, to include the examples given in your initial posts. But best believe, I got my behind on the phone, if I could not make it to him for some face to face. But it gave us both the floor to chop it up, as well as space and oppty for any other questions and concerns….

…I have more that I just might expound on a little further, allow me to consult my alter ego, Ms Janie, just to be sure

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
1:41 pm

WOW, that’s great WD!

@Foots, don’t know what time you gave this advice, but you gave $Bill some very good advice!

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
1:44 pm

Truth – Are you having relations while you are over there? Seems dangerous. :lol:

$ Bill

May 5th, 2009
1:49 pm

Jamoca: Much appreciated comments because she also bowed out. I am working on me by volunteering to help others plus by building myself more spiritually. Trust me, I’m not sitting around at and watching the time tick away. I am doing what I need to do for me right now.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
1:50 pm

Wise-i have an idea for a topic. While we always talk about whats wrong with the dating scene we never talk about what we can do to up our game and make ourselves more marketable, and we all can do something.

I remember reading in a christian book “The Making of a Man” or something like that and they were saying that a man gets a home and then brings his woman to it. I thought about it and all the tightest cats I knew had them so I bought one. Low and behold my dating stock went up immediately. Anyway, thats my recommendation for a topic, what can be done to update your resume, dating wise?

Ared, I miss liquor. There’s none in this country legally and if you get caught with some you’re on the next plane home. Really. Its pathtetic really. Bust a guy in the azz. Cool. Take chicks in the desert and rape em. No problem. Have a friggin drink. Start the holy jihad.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
1:52 pm

don’t know what time you gave this advice

At the time Leggs,Foots was actually sitting on $Bill’s lap!! :lol: Is it still good advice in ur view??? LMAAAOF!!!

Sassy Me....I make it do what it do baby :-)

May 5th, 2009
1:52 pm

Staceye Okay? I feel like Martin when he used to say “Poof…be gone”

Wise Diva chirl I’ll be here with bells on that day. The blog would lock up and shut down from too many responses….MELO would get in trouble at work and Truthey might go AWOL from duty…LMAO at just the thought of it :)

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
1:53 pm

A gf of mine just sent me an email about her daughter’s Senior Letter Campaign.

“The main objective/goal of the Senior Letter Campaign is to provide each graduating Senior with a letter and/or letters from friends, family, coaches, and the like with kind words of expression, tips for success, do’s/don’ts of college, etc.”

I have so much that I would like to tell her that I can’t come up with a place to start. So, I’ma cheat a bit and ask you guys for a few words of wisdom to get me going.

Thanks.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
1:58 pm

@Bill

There is some difference of advice on the blog today regarding what you should do. Now might be a good opportunity to point out that free advice is usually worth just about what it costs. I would also recommend that you try to remember that one can never “make” someone love them back. It either is or is not and unfortunately not under your control. Do what is right for YOU.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
2:06 pm

Ared, I miss liquor. There’s none in this country legally and if you get caught with some you’re on the next plane home

:shock: That’s a no deal! Did you know that when you signed up???

I’m kind of missing it too. The most recent guys I’ve dated don’t drink at all. Now, drinking is not a requirement or anything, but I’d rather you be open to having one socially.

I’m not sure what I’m doing to attracted this latest brand of L7s maybe the light on my halo is too bright. Let me dim it down a bit. :lol:

JtJ

May 5th, 2009
2:06 pm

Afternoon All,

On Topic: Life is a confrontation. We take it head-on each and every day and we have to decide what we will deal with and what we won’t. It is IMPOSSIBLE to avoid confrontations in any human relationship. There is a right way and a wrong way to handle them, though. Relationships are tough enough as it is, without having to go through murky waters for no good reason. If an issue needs to be discussed, do so in a manner that will involve the minimum amount of drama.
In my relationship, we make it a point to have a good talk at least once a week, where we discuss things about finances, feelings, the kids, future plans. Best time though is when we have both released and are relaxed.
RE: Bill
I think Bill is either a rare catch or someone who can’t take them hint. But I must agree with Foots & Sexycool, if this possible relationship is worth the wait, he should at least try to keep in touch just as friends. I was in this situation when I divorced, with the 3 kids, and was persuing my degree at Georgia State. It really is a lot to bear and it definitely requires reliable support from family and friends. Maybe the relationship with Bill was just not what she needs right now. A friendship may be worth it though.
BOSTON will back…….Wednesday night will be a BLOW OUT!!!!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
2:07 pm

This may be a repeat but it seems my lst post did not get through.

Bill, you have gotten a lot of advice here, much of which may be contradictory. Now might be a good time to point out that “free advice is usually worth just about what it cost”. All of us are talking thorugh our own experiences and pain, and it may or may not be relevant to your situation.

The best advice is possibly something I learned in a class I took a number of years ago. IDD. IDENTIFY, DETACH, then DECIDE. You have to “identify” the problems for what they are, ‘detach” until your head clears and you can be more objective as you decide what is the appropriate response, and then (not before) “decide” what is the right thing for YOU to do. The most important part is “detach”…get away and let your head clear. This is what people should do when a confrontation is brewing in a relationship also.

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
2:08 pm

Email sent Truth..that’s if you have not been caught by the secret police.

Wisey..I mean it think about it..You have outlasted what Laney, Bella and now this Blanca.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
2:12 pm

The most recent guys I’ve dated don’t drink at all

In my younger days, I observed that guys who drink beer have beer on number 1,sports on 2 and gerlz on maybe 3.And they do luv their beer,u can tell by their bellies.
Now,guys who dont drink or just drink socially eve now and then have their focus on what??? U guessed it.
They are the worst playas!!
They might like sports,a lot.But they will always want to have eye candy by their side!

$ Bill

May 5th, 2009
2:12 pm

JtJ: Thanks! Taking a hint isn’t the issue despite some of the non-sense being spewed on here. Everything else you said is on point. The comments from Foots, SextCool and Randyt will prove to be helpful.

Wise Diva

May 5th, 2009
2:14 pm

wait a minute, did TMac call me a liar, this morning? LOL!

$ Bill

May 5th, 2009
2:14 pm

Sorry…SeXyCool! :)

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 5th, 2009
2:15 pm

SexyCool a very impt do – always wear your shower shoes.

I know you want something deep, but my mind is on margaritas right now.

Its pathtetic really. Bust a guy in the azz. Cool. Take chicks in the desert and rape em. No problem. Have a friggin drink. Start the holy jihad. Dang Truth, that’s messed up.

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
2:17 pm

Actually, Taz – that was PERFECT!!!

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
2:17 pm

@Truth…several years ago, I was offered an opportunity to go to Kuwait for a year and make a shyte pot full of money (at the time when a number of contractors were “losing their heads”). I told the guy I did not think I could go without women and booze for a year. About that time I remembered I was actually going through a remarkably “dry” period both relationally and alcoholically (sp?). I thought, “wait a minute, how is that any different from what I am going through anyway? I’m not drinking or “having women”. At least I can make a ton of $$$. So I did the wise thing…went out and got drunk and got laid. Did not go to Kuwait, but did cure the other dilemma…LOL

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
2:19 pm

alcoholically

:lol:

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
2:21 pm

SexyCool if she is going to college..tell her being on her own means she has the freedom to make more choices. While freedom is great..it is important to act(behave) wisely with that freedom..something like that.

Foots

May 5th, 2009
2:21 pm

MELO LOL! You betta be glad I like you! :-)

Randy IDD…I’ll remember that one.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
2:22 pm

Bill, the only non sense is that your a grown azz man waiting for some chick that didnt have the common courtesy to tell you face to face to kiss off you soft azz idiot. When you posted that sob story there was only 2 possible outcomes. Stay in that bs or bounce. You got both but the one that goes against your desired outcome is non sense. Apparently your girls, and I use that term loosely, is siding with us because she’s told you to bounce as well. Go ahead and hold on til she calls 911 on your silly azz. Dudes like you give normal cats a bad name. SMH

Ared, turn one up for the love of your life in kuwait. LOL How in the hell can you have a dry country. I’ve heard of a dry county but a whole country?

Foots

May 5th, 2009
2:25 pm

Hey Jamoca!!

SexyCool She’s right about those shower shoes. Also, never room with your best friend, and especially not if she can wear the same size clothes and shoes. And make sure she’s allergic to your laundry detergent. LOL! Y’all know I have a story about that!

MELO

May 5th, 2009
2:27 pm

SexxyCool after all that advice, I suggest u suggest to the mum to take her to the nearest drug rehab/homeless center.Let the kid know that most or some of those bums messed up their lives at almost/about the same time that she is at right now,and they neva recovered.Messed up for lyfe.There is another and wiser way to navigate lyfe.School.
That shld do it,for shock value.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
2:27 pm

Uh Oh Melo
“or just drink socially eve now and then have their focus on what??? U guessed it.
They are the worst playas!!”

I may need to go home and look in the mirror. Could I be a playa and not know it? ;-)

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
2:30 pm

Ared, turn one up for the love of your life in kuwait.

I’ll do you proud, baby!

Yeah, my sister and her husband live in a dry county and wonder why I don’t want to visit. You can rip my ticket up to come visit you. We’ll continue by webcam. Don’t mind the martini next to me. :lol:

DuShawn

May 5th, 2009
2:30 pm

“….If you want a chick like that” @ABC I’m noticing more and more Ebonics in your posts lately. If I recall correctly, you even used the word “ho’s” the other day. You keep moving in this direction, we may have to call meeting to discuss the reinstatement of your hood pass.

As far as College advice, tell her don’t date Da Bruz.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
2:32 pm

As far as College advice, tell her don’t date Da Bruz.

:lol: That is some good azz advice.

Jamoca

May 5th, 2009
2:36 pm

Foots, hey gurl!!!…

Alright, Bill…just for starters…yeah, I said starters…lol

Like I previously mentioned, I had at one time or “another” entertained a long distance relationship with someone, on the pretense that I was already considering moving to his neck of the woods, before ever meeting/getting to know him…of course, for my own reasons (which initially had nothing to do with him).

Overtime, we had gotten pretty well acquainted with one another and it also helped that he was a S/P himself…so there was definitely an unspoken communication between the two of us, on subjects/matters we didn’t really have to explain to the other. It was thoroughly understood.

Time went by, workload got hectic, schedules got crazier (moreso on my end)…and let’s add in a few things he was dealing with himself. We were finding ourselves tested on so many levels…to be long distance. Occasionally, I’d ask if he was sure that he wanted to come along on this ride and vice versa…was he sure he wanted me to saddle up for the voyage.

I’d like to believe, that we both had good intentions for the other and their child(ren)…but here’s where things became even more challenging…he brought the issue to me first, which was good. At that moment, I could/should have really laid it all out for him. I did not. I was afraid, discourage you name it b/c in the back of my mind..all that I kept thinking about was how much more of a load I had, compared to his. I’d beat myself up about it so much, but would never really be fully clear on saying exactly what I meant. Big mistake.

I did not really give him a chance to see if he was really game, since it was HIS decision to choose and NOT MINE alone. The relationship began to fade,we talked less and less…and of course the inevitable. …but I KNEW what MY problem was. ME.

Trust, it’s not easy admitting to someone else that you’re self conscious about your own situation and how opening the gate for someone new to come in and have access to it …well, it can be uncomfortable in the beginning stages…heyal throughout any stage, since you’re both still learning one another.

Now, I am not saying that my previous situation was/is yours, but she could be very well dealing with other issues thrown into the mix of school and kids. There is an interesting turning point to this story…which may give you a little more hope…bbl

MELO

May 5th, 2009
2:36 pm

Could I be a playa and not know it?

I actually prefer Atlanta’s high pollen count on my nostrils to ur wet and multi-women-stink colored T shirts Randy. :grin: U need redemption!

The Truth

May 5th, 2009
2:39 pm

As far as the “where are we going with this?” discussion in a relationship:

Years ago, I really liked this young lady, we talked on the phone, and ended up going out on couple of dates. After the third date, I called her up and asked “when friends ask me about you, what should I call you?” She calmly and simply replied, “You should call me your girlfriend, because we’re more than friends but not that serious.” That was 21 years ago and she was clear on where we stood then, and every step along the way as our relationship developed. Today, I introduce her as my wife. There’s nothing wrong with clarity between two people regarding the status of the relationship and it eliminates a lot of miscommunication and hurt feelings.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

May 5th, 2009
2:40 pm

Melo … Ouch.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
2:43 pm

Welcome “The Truth” :lol:

Best wishes to you and your wife. :)

Mo (aka Moeisha- looking for a new haircut)

May 5th, 2009
2:46 pm

Okay Truth, did you just say NO LIQUOR?!?!? WOW! Poor thing! That cancels my trip to visit you…. :0)

LIONESS- Very Sleepy

May 5th, 2009
2:50 pm

The Truth- Cute..

Can’t wait to watch the REal Housewives tonight!

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
2:53 pm

@Melo, yes the advice still counts. The position one is in when giving sound advice doesn’t negate the message being conveyed. She could have been sucking on his earlobe and typing at the same time.

@SexcyCool, your Senior Letter Campaign reminded me of something that happened over the weekend. Four years ago, I caught a 15 year old girl having sex on the air conditioning unit next door to my house. It was a freaking cold winter afternoon. Well she knocked on my door Sunday afternoon to say “thank you” for the things I said to her. I was blown away. Away, I told her many things some nice and a lot not so nice. Tell your gf’s daughter to (1) never let anyone belittle her, (2) always walk with her head held high, (3) awlays believe in yourself no matter what anyone else has to say, and (4) keep negative people out of your circle!

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
2:59 pm

Okay look here.. there can only be one The Truth. How can I trademark my name.

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
3:04 pm

@Leggs and what did you say to the boy?

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
3:06 pm

Kym – Trademarking definitely helps. :lol:

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
3:06 pm

Truth, there’s not enough room in this joint for the 2 of us. Either put on a turban or do a name change.

Mo, yeah its pretty pathetic. I bought a margarita today with no alcohol and used my imagination

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
3:06 pm

Great story Leggs! I’m so glad the young girl listened and didn’t just dismiss it.

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
3:09 pm

The boy ran off leaving her standing there, I couln’t deal with him. However, I did know where he lived. I went to his house and told his parents what I witnessed. Of course he lied. He had even changed his clothes acting like he never left the house. But because he was 15, I was able to easily trip him up. Once he came clean, I let his parents handle him. Then, I went to her house and told her parents.

i'm swiss

May 5th, 2009
3:09 pm

“Four years ago, I caught a 15 year old girl having sex on the air conditioning unit next door to my house.”

Sooooooo…. that means now — she’s legal! :lol: (Kidding, kidding)

Happy Cinco de Mayo, blogsville! I’m starting the celebration early by enjoying the traditional Jack & Coke (hey, it’s my tradition). Any big plans for anyone?

MELO

May 5th, 2009
3:10 pm

SexxyLeggs On a fckking,frigin’ cold and hard air con??!!!
Smething about that boy :lol:

Foots

May 5th, 2009
3:10 pm

Leggs I wonder if the boy that ran off and left her standing there is kin to the dude that led police on a chase, then jumped out of the car, leaving his wife and children behind??

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
3:16 pm

@I’m Swiss, hello! I know you’re joking.

@Melo, it was so windy outside and tree branches being blown all around the yard. I thought it was a tree branch dangling when I realized it was a freaking LEG!

@Foots, when I heard the news story I wondered how the heck do you run off leaving your wife and children after crashing the car!

LIONESS- Very Sleepy

May 5th, 2009
3:17 pm

Leggs & Foots- Too many coward azz men out here!!

LIONESS- Very Sleepy

May 5th, 2009
3:18 pm

Leggs- I am BAFFLED by your story! I can’t believe she would allow a boy to touch her in that way @ that age. WOW!!

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 5th, 2009
3:21 pm

ARED…”You can rip my ticket up to come visit you. We’ll continue by webcam. Don’t mind the martini next to me.” You call it a martini now. I thought it was the Rabbit! :lol:

TRUTH…no liqour…oh hellz nah! I can’t come visit you bruh! :lol:

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
3:25 pm

If you’re baffled can you imagine how I felt when I saw this. When she told me her age my heart ached. When I demanded she step into my house, she had the nerve to say her parents told her never to step into a strangers house. That did it for me. You can’t come inside but you think it’s ok to have sex on an air conditioning unit. I wanted to wring her neck!

LIONESS- Very Sleepy

May 5th, 2009
3:28 pm

Leggs- I couldn’t IMAGINE how you felt! The nerve of that little girl.. They do say the apple NEVER falls far from the tree..

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
3:28 pm

I thought it was the Rabbit!

Staceye – don’t even put that out there in the universe for me! My “o’s” don’t come by battery operated devices! :lol:

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
3:28 pm

A girl who lets a boy touch her like that, at that age, in that way has issues and low self-esteem. Something is going on in her life, perhaps in her home. What freaking teenager in their right mind is going to have sex in the winter on top of an airconditioning unit!

She now plays basketball outside my door with the boys in the neighborhood. I haven’t seen this young lady in 4 years and now she’s playing basketball w/the fellas. She’s good too!

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
3:29 pm

Leggs – were they even using protection? I mean, the story makes me shudder.

LMAO @ you going to their houses. It takes a villiage. So many other people wouldn’t care. Wonder what happened to that little boy liar.

Jamoca

May 5th, 2009
3:30 pm

Okay…I’ll be sure to shorten it this time around, Bill…

Well, I said all that to say, I realized later on that it was my fault, so guess who was big enough to put her pride aside and come back asking for another round??? Yes, sir…you got it. He could have told me to go on’ somewhere with my “petition” but he didn’t. In fact, I added that if it did not work out for whatever reason….the demise of the relationship would not be on my account. …so with that, I think I’ll end it on that lil note.

So hopefully, you get the gist of what I’m saying…and I hope things work out for you both…with or without the other.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
3:31 pm

I thought it was a tree branch dangling when I realized it was a freaking LEG! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Her mum and dad wld have been like :wcked: :wicked:

Her boy,looking back from across a neighbor’s yard :grin: at that unfinished bizzness.

And she wld be like :) when her parents ask her “what u doing with that boy,having sexx with him on the cold air con like u a squirrel?”

MELO

May 5th, 2009
3:31 pm

Her mum and dad wld have been like, :wcked:

MELO

May 5th, 2009
3:32 pm

Her mum and dad wld have been like :wicked:

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
3:34 pm

Melo, it’s “twisted” :twisted: or “evil” :evil:

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
3:35 pm

No, they weren’t using protection. Told her all about stds, pregnancy, etc. She knew some of this, but was more ashamed at getting caught than doing the deed. I had an issue w/that. I didn’t even have to question whether I should go to their houses or not. I have a daughter and would want one to tell me if it was my daughter.

ARed – the boy was sent back to Jamaica to live with his grandparents.

OMG, “like u a squirrel.” That was funny!

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 5th, 2009
3:44 pm

LOL @ melo’s wicked….

MELO

May 5th, 2009
3:45 pm

Thanx Ared.
Dang that spoiled my skit!!!

Jack Smiley

May 5th, 2009
3:52 pm

I poop alot…..

MELO

May 5th, 2009
3:54 pm

Jack,u got no intestines or they’re Jacked up! :grin:

Jamoca

May 5th, 2009
3:57 pm

well…good for you and your overly active dookie shute…(smh)

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
3:57 pm

JOKE: WHAT GOES 99 CLUNK…99 CLUNK…99 CLUNK…?

Remember these jokes are corny! Jamoca, you’re not allowed to guess (LOL)!

Foots

May 5th, 2009
3:58 pm

Let me try it… :evil:

Foots

May 5th, 2009
3:58 pm

Foots

May 5th, 2009
4:00 pm

Okay, here is the winner of the Dumb Az Hellz Chick Award for Tuesday, May 5th:

Police say Dearman’s girlfriend, 19-year-old Aisha Jackson, was waiting for him in a car. Jackson was arrested hours later when she returned to the same McDonald’s that night to order food at the drive-thru. Another McDonald’s is roughly a quarter mile away and the area has dozens of fast-food restaurants, he said.

“That was not a very smart thing to do.”

Jamoca

May 5th, 2009
4:01 pm

Awww…Leggs, why the heyal not? Lol…I know I’m no good at figuring these popcicle jokes, but it’s still entertaining to hear/see what we come up with.

hmmmm….99 clunk, 99 clunk???

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
4:03 pm

a centiped or milliped with a wooden leg.

Foots

May 5th, 2009
4:04 pm

Testing… :rolleyes:

Foots

May 5th, 2009
4:05 pm

Aww, that one didn’t work. Hey Amazon, what are the other smiley/emoticon codes??

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
4:06 pm

Only because I know you don’t do corny! :lol: Have at it. To me, the answer doesn’t make much sense!

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
4:06 pm

@Leggs well glad you reached her.

LeeH1

May 5th, 2009
4:07 pm

What a game! Women want to be passive and not confront. Then they want to whine and be aggressive when the man is forced into a confrontation by a passive agressive woman, who doesn;t want to confront, but wants the man to confront, so she can go limp then play him for being confrontational.

All these games such as “Tell me the Truth/Don’t Tell Me What I don’t Want to Know” and “I Want all the Reassurance in the World/Don’t Commit Too Soon” and “I Want to Draw a Line in the Sand/But Don’t You Dare Step Over that Line” and my personal favorite, “Don’t You Dare Break one of the Rules that I Just Made up and Haven’t Told You About!”

Funny how all the cross-gender movies such as “Tootsie”, “The Merchant of Venice” or “Yentl” all show the women characters happiest when they can confront the world and be open and honest like a man. Women are most unhappy when they are afraid to confront. Why do women fight to keep this unhappiness?

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
4:08 pm

Y’all kill me with this “I cant believe she was fugging” shyt. If you wasnt at that age you was giving hand jobs or something. Here we go with the angels in the outfield bs again. Not you Ared my clean shaven love doll with the afro in the middle.

I cant believe y’all are bailing on me because of the ban on alcohol. What about my great convo, quick wit, and humor you loved so much. Isnt that enough to get you over here? Please say I mean more than a drink.Please.

Wise, I need to have a confrontation with you. I’ve tried to support your work and offer topics to help you yet you ignore me. Sometimes I question where our relationship is and what it means to you. All i ask for is acknowledgement and for you to tell me how you feel.I dont want to come across as a nag but I have questions that need to be answered dammit. Listen to me and quit watching that dam hawks game. (The Truth busts out in tears for affect, just like the chicks do)

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
4:08 pm

WOW, too late Jamoca….KYM IS THE WINNER!

This is from yesterday and though entirely too corny, but here it is:

WHAT MAGIC SPELL TURNS YOU INTO A DINOSAUR?

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
4:10 pm

Foots – Roll your curser over the emoticons and you can see what the code is. “eyeroll” is “roll” :roll:

Jamoca

May 5th, 2009
4:11 pm

LOL…okay, then you feel my frustration. How about giving us a hint, huh? Is it a person, place or thing and where is “it” found? That’s the least you can do…c’mon now. lol

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
4:11 pm

@Truth, I’m not entirely surprised she was having sex, more surprised at the spot they chose to do it and that she let this little boy take her there or that she took the boy there. No matter how you spin it, she degraded herself!

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
4:15 pm

Y’all kill me with this “I cant believe she was fugging” shyt. If you wasnt at that age you was giving hand jobs or something. Here we go with the angels in the outfield bs again. Not you Ared my clean shaven love doll with the afro in the middle.

Thanks, kettle corn.

But why is it so hard to believe folks weren’t having sex at 15? I just had my first french kiss at 15. I told my first boyfriend that I wasn’t having sex til at least high school was thru and I stuck with it. I especially wasn’t having sex on prom night. I didn’t want to be a statistic.

I might have given a hand job, remember ME not getting any benefit from it, so I didn’t stick down that road :lol: . But that sho ain’t the same think as getting tagged on an air conditioning unit! :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
4:17 pm

(The Truth busts out in tears for affect, just like the chicks do)

You are hella stoopid. :lol:

Jamoca

May 5th, 2009
4:17 pm

Ohhh…I give up! lol

DuShawn

May 5th, 2009
4:17 pm

That story of the young girl having sex, reminds me of when I was 15. My Old man walked in on me having sex in his bed. I was supposed to be in class. He didn’t say a word, went to the kitchen, I looked out the window and saw his car, of course I panicked, told the girl to get dressed as I began to make up his bed. Then I heard him drive off. I walked her back to school, went to the last few periods and slowly made my death march home. When I arrived, Pops had done snitched me out to the Old Girl and she was hot. They gave me the speech about STD’s and pregnancy and then made me change their dayum linen. To further the humiliation, he made me give him the girl’s number and he called her parents. I’m thinking to myself, “you a ole P#ssyazz Father, we could have kept this between us.” Honestly, I got off easy. I was anticipating an azz whooping. Two weeks later he caught me again. Same girl, same place. I was a real knuckle head.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
4:19 pm

Leggs,after a nite out at the club one time in South Africa, i had sexx on the staircase of this abandoned building,just next to a thoroughfare/bus stop.There were pple mingling,waiting for the morning buses!
We didnt even have to take the panties off,i just slid my thang thru the side….rabbit,rabbit,rabbit(picture my backside) and it was a wrap!
U do it where its convenient,where-ever that maybe!
Those are moments to savor.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
4:20 pm

Leggs, remember when you didnt have enough loot to afford a low budget roach infested room for your rendezvous? I guess I was the only one hunching chicks legs anywhere I could. smh

Foots

May 5th, 2009
4:20 pm

Amazon WOW!! I didn’t even think to do that! Thanks!!

Tyrannosaurus Hex.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 5th, 2009
4:22 pm

tagged on an air conditioning unit…wish there was a smh emoticon, :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
4:22 pm

Two weeks later he caught me again. Same girl, same place. I was a real knuckle head.

See… that chick was just fast. Two weeks later I would STILL be grounded and my room under surveillance.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
4:23 pm

Du,my boy did it on his parents bed too,they were found out by the parent(i think the dad walked in on them).He married the girl but she had lost all respect with the parents.They had one girl,then divorced few yrs later.
Neva mess with the in-laws!

Foots

May 5th, 2009
4:25 pm

LIONESS- Very Sleepy

May 5th, 2009
4:26 pm

I can’t believe they still make people who don’t believe in god.. SMDH!

DuShawn

May 5th, 2009
4:26 pm

Enter your comments here

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
4:28 pm

When i was in germany i did it in this kids playhouse in a park in the snow. One time we just stopped in a school ground and layed right there on the concrete, her on the bottom of course, and went at it. If a chicks willing to degrade herself I’m willing to do my part to help. LOL

MELO

May 5th, 2009
4:28 pm

I left work at 8.00 pm last nite,went home and Queen was slumbering on the sofa.
I quickly changed,she handed me my dinner plate and headed upstairs to sleep.
Her dinner was downright horrible,Brutus my dog wld have given that cat food a few licks and dumped it :grin: So did I.
She woke up earlier than me this morning,as usual, to go to work and i neva had a chance to tell her face to face how horrible that cooking was.
Shld i raise that issue tonite???

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
4:29 pm

I guess I was the only one hunching chicks legs anywhere I could. smh

LOL. Score one (no pun intended :lol: ) for the stuck up chicks too good for that type of thing.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 5th, 2009
4:29 pm

well….it looks like I will be leaving work early today.

Have a great evening all!

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
4:30 pm

i neva had a chance to tell her face to face how horrible that cooking was.
Shld i raise that issue tonite???

Only if you want to her to tell you when your lovin is horrible. :lol:

My point: Folks are allowed to have an off nite from time to time. :lol:

DuShawn

May 5th, 2009
4:31 pm

That same little girl grew up and married one of my potnahs. I was in the wedding. Ironically, she and I were born on the same day, of the same year, in the same hospital. I think about her everytime I celebrate my birthday.

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
4:32 pm

She woke up earlier than me this morning,as usual, to go to work

melo – It looks like she tried to kill you last nite and was mad that you were still alive by morning. :lol:

If dinner tastes funny again tonight…run! :lol:

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
4:33 pm

FOOTS IS THE WINNER. I will save my last popsicle joke stick for tomorrow.

I remembered keeping my legs closed for a long time. Even had a guy tell me I may catch fire…all bones rubbing together.

Foots

May 5th, 2009
4:35 pm

MELO Amazon might be right. Tonight, insist on eating off of the children’s plates. Directly off of their plates once they get their food.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 5th, 2009
4:35 pm

Ared, lmao at Queen trying to kill Melo. Dude. let it ride but if it happens again put foot to azz.

Bye Tazz. She doesnt know it but I’m getting that when I get back.

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
4:35 pm

Truth I am not surprised at the sex. Heck who am I? I was a teenager when I did the do the first time. Granted I was not going to be outside in the public in the cold, or in the daylight. I was sneaky, but not stupid. Maybe that’s my problem with kids today..they are just stupid.

Jamoca

May 5th, 2009
4:36 pm

LOL @ Foots!…right, a hex….cute.

LOL @ Du’s “Memoirs of a Knucklehead”…your stories, your stories…lol

Now just to add my lil’ bit on the AC Hit n’ Run scenario…no, I can’t say that I’m surprised. As a matter of fact, even after her testimony of appreciating being chastised and scolded…does NOT mean that she won’t try it again, and again and again…be it a hotel balcony, the hood of an SUV (btw, I know of two people who did that, and a child was conceived) or the on top of the grill at your nearest Waffle House.

People learn at their own pace.

lurker

May 5th, 2009
4:37 pm

Y’all kill me with this “I cant believe she was fugging” shyt….as much as I hate to….imma have to cosign.

It takes a good many years to teach a young person about life, what to do, what to expect, what to accept, what to avoid. Sorry but it irkes me to no end to pass judgement on kids when that support system is missing. The vast majority of kids are not getting therefore you shouldn’t judge or be surprised or be astonished. Educate the heck out of them but if there’s not a balance there still won’t matter. If I can recall, it took a great deal of “being there” for me from my parents and even with that, I didn’t avoid some mistakes. I didn’t induldge until close to my mid twenties. There were sooo many times I wanted to throw caution to the went and get with it but playing in the back of my mind were the things my parents taught. So when I had to make a hard stand in deciding to override and do what feels good (not necessarily physical), I would be walking in eyes wide open and a given if I made the wrong choice there would be self inflicted consequence. The end result of much resisted, day in and day out lessons would nudge me to do the right thing. Kids need all the help they can get so if you’re there and see this kind of behavior, do what you can to help, not get disgusted or feel pity. Help ‘em out. It just kills me that we look back and feel soooo far removed from what these kids are going through or experiencing.

Don Pablo

May 5th, 2009
4:37 pm

Where is that dirty south sister?

Bill the Dill Thrill! Man grow some spin. Yous a straight up simp!

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
4:38 pm

Fine, I’ll admit it. That story of 15 year old sex on AC units suprised me! I know we have a different generation of knuckleheads today tho.

I’m just glad I had a childhood and at 15 was worrying about childish things.

And it wasn’t easy growing up in Los Angeles. Heck the first day we played outside when we moved there the kids were talking about lesbians (I was 7). We were quite sheltered after that! :lol:

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 5th, 2009
4:39 pm

MELO…those moments are to savor if you are not a child. LEGGS was right to tell both of their parents. The way they were going she coudl have ended up pregnant or worse..some STD! Ole boy running aorund sticking his joint in any an everything raw..and she is letting him so how many others has she allowed in there. You’d be amazed how little kids really know about sex except where to put it. The STDs & preganancy myths run ramped because some parents actually will not talk to their kids about sex on the real level. They have thier kids so scared to talk to them that the’d rather get thier info from the idiot kids on the street. Lil Leggs is not like that. She is a very respectful 14 year old who has a good mami to make sure she doesn’t end up like one of these lost souls. If I had a child I’d want to know if he/she is doing no good.

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
4:41 pm

No, no need to raise it Melo. It’s a new day!

MELO

May 5th, 2009
4:42 pm

Lurker,why all the pain in explaining.Tell us just this one time,hw u got that off ur back with the boy

Thanx uall for u advice :lol: I think if i tell her tonite,she either gets hurt or we be in a big fight.Im inclined to tell her tho,like Rai advised or else it becomes her standrad.
I tell u tmrw what i finally decide on..it sure is gonna be either one or 2.

abc

May 5th, 2009
4:44 pm

The only advice my old man gave me about sex was ‘learn when to keep it in your pants’. Mom was most concerned that I’d become sexually active without her knowing, so I assured her that when I became so, I’d tell her. So, I told her all about it; I was 16, girl was 19. I thought I was a bit of a late starter, at that. They knew they couldn’t stop me, so they tried to teach me to be even a little bit responsible about it. I can’t say they did the right thing, but they couldn’t have stopped me. Kids want to get laid, they get laid, that’s that.

Now DuShawn, “chicks” and “ho’s” is not Ebonics! It’s not exactly King’s English either, but hey.

Kym--is like Whoa!

May 5th, 2009
4:44 pm

You get a piece of chicken!! and you get a piece of chicken!!!Couldn’t resist.

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
4:45 pm

…be it a hotel balcony, the hood of an SUV You see when grown ups do it in off the wall places its FUN, when children do it it’s STUPID! I didn’t make the rules, just enforcing it!

lurker

May 5th, 2009
4:45 pm

And never think you’re child is that far removed from what you see “other bad kids” doing. They’re all kids, hormones running amuck. No child better than the other, all capable of doing wrong. The difference will be what you instill. If you don’t, they’re just another heathen. This is the thing, teach as much as you can as often as you can. They’ll ignore and blow off some, but some will stick. When they’re ready to step out, what you taugh will go with them. If they decide the low road in life in better, who can they blame? Eyes wide open…

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
4:47 pm

Im inclined to tell her tho,like Rai advised or else it becomes her standrad.

Melo – Her standard? Hasn’t she been cooking for your rusty azz for over a decade??? :lol:

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
4:47 pm

Awwww, thank you lil sis! That was nice of you!

@ARed, I’m with you at 15 I was doing childish things and sex wasn’t part of my childhood.

lurker

May 5th, 2009
4:48 pm

Melo must you be crass all the time? Gheesh

Don Pablo

May 5th, 2009
4:49 pm

Are all of you adults?

Some really read like teens.

MELO

May 5th, 2009
4:53 pm

Yeah Ared but she knows dinner is my fav meal.It has to be right.
Lurker,what i do.. i luv u,u know that right?

Cant hold this,am calling her now coz i saw some of that left over stuff in the fridge this morning,she might want to do seconds on that poison :lol: :grin:

AmazonRed™

May 5th, 2009
4:55 pm

See, this is why I’m not married. :lol: (Reason #156,209)

You don’t like how/what I cook. You can certainly take over those duties. :lol: Especially if I have to get up every morning and go to work like my “breadwinner.”

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
4:55 pm

Lurker – I ask myself the same think frequently as I smdh.

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
4:56 pm

But….at least he’s consistent.

DuShawn

May 5th, 2009
4:57 pm

As men my father and I discussed that incident. He laughed and said “at least I knew, I didn’t raise a punk.” We both looked at my 5 year old son. I said, Pop if he’s anything like me I nned to stack up 250K for abortion, bail, lawyer and get up on your feet money. He said if he’s anything like you, you better double that amount.

Leggs

May 5th, 2009
4:59 pm

Good night everyone!

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO! NO DUI’s THIS EVENING…EVERYONE BE MINDFUL OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS AND THE AMOUNT OF ALCOHOL YOU INTAKE!!!!

lurker

May 5th, 2009
5:01 pm

SexyCBut at least he’s consistent….

and that’s scary…lol

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
5:04 pm

Oprah just bought the whole country lunch from KFC. You have 24 hours to download the coupon. Go to http://www.oprah.com/KFC

LIONESS- Very Sleepy

May 5th, 2009
5:08 pm

Melo- LMMFAO!! That was hilarious!! He knew she couldn’t cook before they got married!

SexyCool

May 5th, 2009
5:09 pm

Lurker – Tell me about it. lol

Wise Diva

May 5th, 2009
5:10 pm

Have a wonderful evening everyone, if you celebrate, have a ‘Rita for me too!