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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

The Girlfriend Experience

There was a film entitled “The Girlfriend Experience” that debuted at the Tribeca Film Festival last week that is creating quite a buzz. The premise of the film is basically about a “working girl” who charges $2,000 an hour to act as a client’s girlfriend for the night, providing more intimacy than just physical intimacy.

This week Oprah interviewed a young lady who worked at a brothel in Nevada. She also said that many clients are return customers whom she has an ongoing connection to. They  basically pay for “the girlfriend experience” and seek her out to provide the experience of having a relationship. What do think about men or women that pay for emotional intimacy? Is it just another commodity or are these people fooling themselves?

I am not interested in becoming a working girl, don’t worry! I just started thinking about how some single men date women to get the girlfriend experience without the expectations, commitment, or exclusivity. Now I know there are men that are interested in forming good relationships. It can be difficult figuring out who these men are, but usually time reveals all.

Ladies, do you ever meet men who want “the girlfriend experience” instead of a REAL committed relationship? I’m talking about the men that jockey for your time, attention, and all the perks that come with being their official woman. Yet avoid any discussions about commitment or going to the next level. What do you do? Do you move on? Do you let them know that they are expecting the girlfriend experience?

Guys, do you meet and date women and desire to get “the girlfriend experience” without an actual relationship? Is this usually a sign of committment phobia? Have you ever dated women who wanted “the boyfriend experience” without being in a relationship with you? How did you handle it?

Happy Friday!

497 comments Add your comment

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
8:34 am

See this I just don’t get. Why not just get a girlfriend?

Yesterday the news was playing on the kitchen television and my 14 year old was sitting there eating his breakfast. The story aired about the guy that tries abduct women at bus stops and the have determined that his motive is rape. My son looked at me and asked “Why don’t he just get a girlfriend? She’ll have sex with him.” Wow. While we all know that it is much deeper than that in the mind of those sickos out there I couldn’t help but think to myself “yeah you would think”, before addressing the reality of the matter with my son.

That to say if you want the experience go buy into the source. A no strings girlfriend. And you know what I find even more interesting there are tons of women out there looking for emotionless, casual, unattached relationship. Heck we hear it on here nearly every other day from somebody. Women that desire certain benefits of a relationship sans the actual relationship.

LOL And I must admit I really thought this entry was going to go in an entirely different direction after reading the first few lines.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
8:46 am

“Why don’t he just get a girlfriend? She’ll have sex with him.” Whoa, out of the mouth of babes…

It seems to be an epidemic that some men/women don’t want to address the next level out of fear that they will be accused of rushing into things so say’ll if it aint broke don’t fix it. Most ppl in my circle are 33+ divorced a time or two and don’t want the logistics of a comminted relationship out of fear that it would lead to another marriage.

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

May 1st, 2009
9:01 am

It’s finally Friday……ooh thank you lawdy….mornting blog fam :)

This is almost reminiscent of a “friends with benefits” situation but anyway a few years back I was “involved” with a guy who was not my boyfriend and we did everything couples did but just without the label. We had alot of fun and NEITHER ONE OF US wanted it to change. Anyhoo, it lasted for about a year when he had to move away and even after the move we still styed in contact…even swap no swindle it what I call it…..it is what it is and keep it moving. :)

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
9:10 am

Happy Friday party people! :)

See this I just don’t get. Why not just get a girlfriend?

From what I can tell, the only difference is by having the gf on “pay roll” you can better dictate the relationship terms.

But yeah, this whole concept is foreign to me. I’m in it to be fully engaged. Ups and downs and all.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
9:11 am

names of pseudo girl(woman)boy(man)/friend

tryst
fling
affair
sexual liason
platonic lover
romantic friendship
emotional affair
and our favorite friend with benefits

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
9:12 am

Sassy Let me ask you a question.

You’ve a clear jar. The jar holds a white substance. The substance looks like mayo. You open the jar it smells like mayo and it taste like mayo. So what is it? Mayo? Correct. Just because you remove the label it does not change or make void what it is. That’s how I feel about the so called “no labels” relationships. It is what it is. Labeled or Not. That whole no labels foolery is just foolery. Why do folks keep buying into it?

LOL I just needed to get that off my belly.

Rell - know dat

May 1st, 2009
9:18 am

in the words of the greatest trick of all time

we dont pay them for sex….we pay them to leave – charlie sheen

thats what men want…like RED said…control

men that pay for sex or engage in tricking or so use to losing they have to pay to win….nothing deeper than what it is..they dont have the guts or gonnads to engage that dime piece and successful woo her…so they pay for moist hole and septic mouth to make them feel good

but while we are on the girlfriend experience…have had a few larger women want to pay me for the boy friend experience…know dat

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
9:19 am

Ladies, do you ever meet men who want “the girlfriend experience” instead of a REAL committed relationship? I’m talking about the men that jockey for your time, attention, and all the perks that come with being their official woman. Yet avoid any discussions about commitment or going to the next level. What do you do? Do you move on? Do you let them know that they are expecting the girlfriend experience?

This definitely fits several of my past relationships. Guys wanting the perks of a relationship but none of the responsibility. In the past I’ve chalked it up as dating and how not every relationship will get to the marriage stage, but I’ve had to recognize that many of these guys would rather take the easy way out and date indefinitely rather than commit. It’s my fault as well, as I allowed for it.

In each case, I’ve walked away, but it’s definitely something I’ve needed to work on. Just because I’m chill and don’t feel the need to bring up “where is this going” in every convo, doesn’t mean he gets what he wants out of the relationship and I don’t. Live and learn. Glad for the experiences.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
9:20 am

To fall settle for the “no label” is exactly what WiseDiva is talking about. I imagine people pay for the “experience” because they want to shuck the accountability that comes with relationships. They want the intimacy, they want the love, they want the physical but they don’t want to be accountable for anything done foul that could ruin a relationship.

Yet again I say, from what I hear more and more there are women and men willing to do that for free. Be your friends providing all of the relationship benefits yet without attachment.

mytw♥cents

May 1st, 2009
9:22 am

“Ladies, do you ever meet men who want “the girlfriend experience” instead of a REAL committed relationship?”

WD I almost felt some kinda way about this question… like the day I wanted to slap the ish outta Blanca with the Reading Is Fundamental brick for somehow missing Staceye’s backstory. Over and over and over again. But then I re-read and yup, it clearly say Ladies – not just Mytwo… Maybe more of our lovely lurkers will emerge to respond. And since we have to mention Anthony everyday of this week, Hard to Breathe was playin when I read the entry. How apropos.

Ms. SASSAFRASS At least you sound like you’re usually an equal participant in that decision. So many women will accommodate the request when It Is Not At All what they desire. Then it’s never a good thing.

Atltwen

May 1st, 2009
9:22 am

Over the last few years, this has been an occasional circumstance of mine.

Like these single men of discussion, I get lonely occasionally after months and months of no dates – its not that we can’t get them, we actually get “hit on” enough to a have a healthy dating rotation. I had 1 direct and 2 indirect offers at a temp job I held for about 6 weeks recently. But most of the time, they aren’t the type of women I want to be or even hang out with.

And I tired of hanging out with women just for company sakes because invariably they want more. So (I) would rather hang out by myself. Friends often ask me, “You are always by yourself when I see out” and it lead to speculation that may “be playing for the other team.”

However, I wouldn’t pay 2 G’s for the “girlfriend experience”, though I understand it. I would use that money to hire a fantastic dating consultant who could set me up on dates with women of my taste. It is what the some celebrities do.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
9:28 am

Morning All!!!

It’s Friday, it’s Friday, it’s FRIDAY!!!!

On topic – I can’t answer all those questions – Diva, it’s Friday! Only one question allowed ;-)

I can say that I tried to have the boyfriend experience with this one guy. I found out that he was not the one for me, no marriage in site. But I wanted to go out every now and then, travel together, etc – but I did not want him as my boyfriend because I wanted to leave that space for someone that was marriage material.

I came to the ‘boyfriend experience’ conclusion after he and I traveled together. I enjoyed having a handsome man on my arm that would carry my luggage. I don’t get that when I travel with my girlfriends. Unfortunately he wanted a relationship so that really didn’t work out. Looking back on it – I shouldn’t have even made that proposal. Oh well, you live and you learn.

IT’S FRIDAY!!!

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
9:28 am

Good morning everyone! An emotional week for me, but here I is!

:lol: at getting it off your belly.

“Girlfriend experience” due to $$$….hmmm! Isn’t that what a lot are doing now? Is anyone dating anymore? From what I see, married folk are dating each other more than what we singles are doing.

LIONESS- Needs A Vacation

May 1st, 2009
9:28 am

Good Morning All :)

Dan

May 1st, 2009
9:35 am

Dating consultant? Wow..

Rell has a point, when you capable and confident enough to step to woman and express your interest in her, you really don’t have to pay strictly for an experience that is free. But I’ve had conversations recently with friends on this subject (a version of it, at least) and I just don’t get paying for sex.

But, when it comes to dating, yeah, there’s a certain sect of men/women that want the “benefits” with the strings. If both parties are comfortable with it, no prollem. But inevitably that situation never remains static.

In my current situation, I do have the opportunity to meet and “associate” with a number of women. Some become friends, some become more, some want more still. I do what I can, while trying to remain honest about the fact that, right now, “my schedule only permits the time we have, right now, so let’s just make the best of it and chill on the rest. If nothing else, we have these few hours together.”

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
9:38 am

Off Topic – This Bulls/Celtics series has been INTENSE!!!

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
9:38 am

@Raqi….that’s why so many of us (yes I’m placing myself here) are flying solo. Too much false representation with a whole lot of BS. Nothing wrong with those that want to play the field. Just stop acting like you’re not. I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR. This is my summer! :lol:

Atltwen

May 1st, 2009
9:41 am

Tazzee – I can say that I tried to have the boyfriend experience with this one guy. I found out that he was not the one for me, no marriage in site.

Not to pick on you or anything, but you said “I tired to have the boyfriend experience” but “no marriage sight.” That statement is an oxymoron. The whole point of the “experience” is to hangout, but not to have not have about the “M” word. This is the reason why the “experience”, female or male, is so hard successfully pull off. One person, 9 times of 10, eventually wants more than they are leading on – consciously or unconsciously; and usually it’s the female, BUT not always.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
9:42 am

Good Morning all,

I have had the girlfriend experience and the boyfriend experience. Girlfriend experience came from dating married men folks. Boy friend experience came from dating married men folks. As it has been said I didn’t want the responsiblility of the traditional relationship so I didn’t seek it out. Worked for me. I am sure this topic is going to go hella deep.

Frankly, I have no problem with prostitution..if that is a person’s “choosen” career path then hey go for it. Wisey you failed to mention that the star of that movie is a well-know porn star. (I read the article) and she choose porn as her profession as soon as she was legally able to participate. Per the article the young lady is 21 and has made over a 150 films(flicks).

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
9:43 am

Is anyone dating anymore?

Aw…of course Leggs. But yeah, there is a lot of muck to wade thru at times. :lol:

mytw♥cents

May 1st, 2009
9:45 am

RELL Somehow you’ve managed to cast a Trick – Hoe scenario on something entirely different. And you have several different explanations for you and larger women… what did you say once, if you see me with one it’s cuz she has a cute face and nice hair. Isn’t that part of the basis why any dude would be with any woman? And then the question remains why would one be seen with you? The justification is comical because if you go back, in the actual essence of the topic, you’d just be going along for the ride cuz you’ll take what you can get of her. And how could you offer a paid girlfriend experience if you’re no affectionate and admittedly are getting light bulbs every day for basic soft skills that should go without saying. You took a hiatus to go on some kind of journey but brought us back the same ol souvenirs.

O GREAT PREGO PHILOSOPHER Hmm, I don’t know about that Hellmans. Just cuz something is almost what you want it to be, if it ain’t – it just ain’t. You can allow yourself to call it what you want, but it’ll only be what it is. Like the situation mentioned with Tony G & his girlfriend… If they have all the functions of a marriage, but no marriage has been signed by either party, she can think of them as married, but are they really? Usually we’d say the woman is convincing herself of what she wants to BE, rather than focused on what really IS.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
9:45 am

Tazzee that’s what escorts are for. LOL

SexyCool

May 1st, 2009
9:46 am

I’m ALL HAWKS ALL DAY!

Three Words Daily – Now You Know! (Let’s Go Hawks! Let’s Go Hawks!)

abc

May 1st, 2009
9:48 am

Prostitution is what it is, and calling something else doesn’t change it. A hooker that charges extra to be nice to you is still just a whore, regardless the ‘Girlfriend’ or ‘Boyfriend’ experience. The whole notion is just plain tawdry.

On the other hand, it’s something of a boyfriend or girlfriend experience with any friendship between opposite sexes. Sometimes it can be even closer than that. Women often talk to me about things I’d expect them to talk about with their girlfriends, or their man; I’m usually enjoying their company at lunch when they’re doing that. I just don’t charge them $2000 for it. They’re friends, after all — just friends, but the aura is still always there.

That’s why most people object to their SO doing things like that. It looks and acts too much like a duck.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
9:50 am

Tazzee- Did I miss the game last night ?? Damn it!!!! Who lost a tooth this time?

Sybil

May 1st, 2009
9:52 am

What in dahell can you buy with two pennies?

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
9:52 am

Good morning folks! :smile:

Have you ever dated women who wanted “the boyfriend experience” without being in a relationship with you? How did you handle it?

I have dated a sista who wanted the boyfriend experience but not the commitment, it was great for me because I did not want it either so we had a good time together.

From some of the articles I have read a lot of the “quote unquote” boyfriend experience is from married men who are replacing the dating function they do not have with their wives. Business executives who keep high end call girl business going strong!

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
9:53 am

Atltwen Perhaps I didn’t phrase that right – the reason why I relegated dude to just the boyfriend experience and not the boyfriend is because he was not marriage material. He was the one that was talking marriage and I knew that I could not marry him – but I enjoyed just hanging out with him.

Hope that clears things up.

Raqi I know, but escorts cost and I’m tight with mine ;-)

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
9:55 am

Kym Triple OT last night – Bulls won. Funny thing is, I’ve caught the last few games toward the end, so I’m not sure if the games have been exciting in the first 3 quarters :lol: I plan to watch the game Saturday from the beginning though.

Dan

May 1st, 2009
9:58 am

@My2

Aren’t all relationships about exclusively mutual interest? That is, each party wants something from the other? It’s the methods of procurement that manufactures the biggest problems.

In that, the relations that WD is talking about are cut and dry. No fuss, no muss.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
10:00 am

@ARed, I was being somewhat facetious. I do realize ppl are still dating. That’s why I also posted :arrow: “Too much false representation with a whole lot of BS” which equates to your “a lot of muck to wade thru” :lol:

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
10:00 am

TwoLincolns No. I didn’t say it almost is or it looks like I said that it is. Therefore it is. Sassy said that they did everything that a couple does. The eggs, the salt, the oil. It is mayonnaise. Just because you remove the label does not change what it is. The ingredients make it so.

And as for Tony G??? No that is not a marriage. Without a license it is not a marriage. However you have folks that do have a license but say it is an arrangement. No it’s a marriage.

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
10:00 am

S special shout-out to my homegirl Tazzee! :wink:

The Boston-Chicago series is off the chain!

Mrs.Raqi I am sure you look goood in pants, so where them anytime you want! :smile:

Sassy: you are one keep it real, keep it moving sista! I likes dat! :smile:

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
10:04 am

I was being somewhat facetious.

I know Leggs. :)

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
10:05 am

@Tazee-Reading the highlights now on CNN. Allen had 51points. But baby boy Joakim Noah..was working it out! Love that guy!!! Alright let me put this on my blackberry so I don’t forget. Oh yeah Go Hawks!! Don’t shame us! The Fakecons have that on lock.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
10:05 am

What do think about men or women that pay for emotional intimacy?

Reversed tricking. A person seriously willing to pay that kind of money in having professional (being the operative word here) sevices rendered ask for the “all in” feel to accompany? Is it even possible to purchase an emotional experience? I mean aside from engaging in conversation and maybe a laugh or two, what else is there to give outside of what’s being bought? Think I’m missing something here.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
10:05 am

I feel bad for one of my co-workers. He got married on Saturday and he’s alreay back at work. His honeymoon was to Mexico. So much for that. :lol:

I guess he’s back so that he doesn’t waste vacation days he’s not using…

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
10:06 am

@Raqi you can do all the girlfriend/boyfriend experience but their is not commitment to each other and you can date other people maybe that is what Sassy is talking about!

@Tazzee were you only committed to this guy while you were going thru the boyfriend experience? Were you dating others while you was dating him?

Cannot will not pay an escrow for some booty! That costs more then dating! :wink:

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
10:07 am

Cougar Will you please make up your mind!!! See just for you I wore a sundress today with a ¾ sleeve cashmere cardigan. Make up your mind already.

My marido said it looks nice so I know you will like it. LOL

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
10:10 am

As suspected…the MOMania blog is talking about the BMW easter crash and how far you’d go to cover up a crime for your child.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
10:14 am

Who the heck is “Sassy” is that supposed to be me? Y’all know I mainly look for my name in responses and not this other stuff y’all come up with. :lol:

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
10:14 am

@Rell, I see you’re a friend of Two And A Half Men! Great writers on that show and how they put a spin “sex.” Quite comical!

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
10:15 am

@ARed, see Sassy’s post at 9:01.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
10:16 am

I meant “put a spin ON sex.”

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
10:16 am

Thank you Leggs! It was in bold and everything too. This bagel is delicious, clearly that’s what’s getting my attention right now. :lol:

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

May 1st, 2009
10:17 am

Cougar that’s what’s up :)

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
10:26 am

Lurker I agree.

Maybe for them it’s just needing someone to make you feel special. Someone to sing your praises. Someone to validate your accomplishments and success. Someone to say I love you. Maybe that’s what they are paying for outside of the physical intimacy.

You know you often here of people complaining about their relationship or marriage being void of intimacy. Their spouse never has time to speak a kind word. Their spouse never has time to talk or listen to their daily happenings.

And I am just going to jump out there with this one, maybe it is that feeling of having someone whisper “I love you so much” during the love making. Maybe this is what folks are paying for.

When I read the first few lines about paying for the experience I actually thought the entry was going to be about people seeking the intimacy that their relationship lack outside of the relationship. We had an entry before about emotional cheating.

mytw♥cents

May 1st, 2009
10:27 am

O GREAT PREGO PHILOSOPHER Right on Tony. But we sometimes name things from our own perspective. I’ve asked for mayo before and been given Miracle Whip. When I raised my brow, I was told they’re the same thing. They are not! But they look the same and some believe they taste the same. Kinda like how folks will offer you a Coke, but they just mean a carbonated beverage. You end up with a nicely chilled Big K Cola. Sadly, I’ve endured both of these tragic scenarios in real life. Moment of silence…

PROFFESOR D IF all relationships are about exclusively mutual interests THEN it is revealed that what one party wants (commitment) will not be fully supplied by the other in full (nah, we just smash n grab) then have both parties actually procured what they sought out to? Or has one accepted terms which confirm they’ve gotten the GF/BF experience without an actual GF/BF to show for it? In that, the relations that WD is talking about is cut and dried.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 1st, 2009
10:30 am

WISE…”Ladies, do you ever meet men who want “the girlfriend experience” instead of a REAL committed relationship? I’m talking about the men that jockey for your time, attention, and all the perks that come with being their official woman. Yet avoid any discussions about commitment or going to the next level.” LAWD girl that is like every man I have met in ATL! :lol: Hell now I just want the boyfriend experience….that way I can ignore you when I don’t feel like being bothered. My girl has been in this situation for 2 years. I blame her because she keeps this guy in her life knowing he will never committ to her. I guess she keeps hoping on him having an epiphany one day. I told her if she gives him companionship, booty and emotional intimacy without the relationship…then what would he have to gain by removing his options to see whomever else he fancies? There goes that Milk & cow theory….

RAQI…your son is a child and is smarter than a lot of grown men! Shameful. Hey I guess he is to broke to pay for a hooker…this rapist guy!

” I just needed to get that off my belly.” Why…the baby doesn’t like mayo? :lol:

MY2CENTS….sniff, sniff..you so sweet! :lol:

KYM….I know I needs to take me trip to Chi-town….Derrick Rose is friggin’ gorgeous! :lol:

LEGGS…I love Two & Half Men. Great show. I told my Mami she is their mother and she fell out!

KIMMIE…paiging KIMMIE! WTH…did you see Private Practice? :shock:

Dan

May 1st, 2009
10:34 am

@My2

Well, yeah. Now were talking “time horizons” if he got the “girlfriend experience” and she got the “smash and grab”, they both got what they wanted. Only one was presuming a longer time horizon.

Tmac

May 1st, 2009
10:36 am

Stacy…..

A girl in my office told us the joke going around about the pig and Black president…..I thought you came up with that joke and apparently not :) So are we a lock for this weekend or whaaa?

lurker

May 1st, 2009
10:37 am

RaqiAnd I am just going to jump out there with this one, maybe it is that feeling of having someone whisper “I love you so much” during the love making. Maybe this is what folks are paying for.

That’s funny too because the bottom line is, all was purchased…from the licking to the loving (can we call it that if there’s a receipt involved…lol), to having someone, knowingly getting, to say what you want to hear? Man, that’s wild. The thing about all this is, there are sooo many folks out there willing to either, give you azz free, with the bonus of throwing in emotions (you know us women…we’ll supply that part as a bonus), to telling you what you need to hear..okay maybe there’s a shortage there but the bottom line is, for what dude is paying for, he can get for free.

DuShawn

May 1st, 2009
10:38 am

“……..they dont have the guts or gonnads to engage that dime piece and successful woo her…so they pay.” I disagree. That may be true in some instances, but I know a lot of real cats, with beautiful dimes at the crib, that will occasionally break a little bread to trick off with a chick. If they choose to make a female do something strange for little piece of change, it’s not out of necessity, but more for the convenience and the different experience.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
10:38 am

I meant knowingly getting paid…

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

May 1st, 2009
10:38 am

Ms. SASSAFRASS At least you sound like you’re usually an equal participant in that decision. So many women will accommodate the request when It Is Not At All what they desire. Then it’s never a good thing.

Mytwo I was in school at the time and quite busy(so was he)…. I had enough responsibilities already and didn’t want the ones that came with a “relationship”. I like my space (alot) and he didn’t try to crowd it and that’s what I liked about our siuation and how it turned out. Even swap no swindle…it is what it is and keep it moving. :)

Dan

May 1st, 2009
10:39 am

@Lurker

It’s called comparison shopping…

lurker

May 1st, 2009
10:39 am

Well, yeah. Now were talking “time horizons” if he got the “girlfriend experience” and she got the “smash and grab”, they both got what they wanted.

Now that’s funny and best described

KoolAid House

May 1st, 2009
10:40 am

@Staceye, 2 & Half Men is a good show. That little boy has a boatload of information about what “not to do” by living w/his uncle. Too funny.

And, don’t start w/Private Practice…it’s only 10:40. But OMG!

&I'llbethat (6'1&Luvinit)

May 1st, 2009
10:40 am

I have had the boyfriend experience and the girlfriend experience. To be with me at all is an experience. But in one case of the girlfriend friend experience, I was with the infamous “Stalker” and his whole thing was “I pay the cost to be the boss, so bytch do what I say”. Of course this wasn’t flying with me because I was making more than him and I was Princess Fiona at the beginning of the movie and he was Shrek the beginning and the end. SO till this day he is still on that and now that he is in the music industry, he calls me and asks me to go with him to various functions in the city and around the country. I didn’t feel like a whore when I was spending all his money and banking mines. But when he started with that shyt coming out his mouth talking to me like I was a whore. I started feeling like one and then I had to slap myself in the face and look in the mirror and say “Dayuum did you get your masters, to phuck with Shrek and get belittled at the same time?” Nope so I left Shrek alone, and of course I went back to BLACK and paying my own bills!!!!

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
10:40 am

Not to go all out on the deep end but rape is rarely if ever about sex. Rape is about power. The BTK killer was a everyday married dude with kids who was a power hungry pscyho. He got off on the power. Historically rape has always been a tool of power. Conquer and rape the women so the men will feel powerless. This guy who is raping women or sexually assaulting them in the Briarcliff area. I am willing to bet he is going to be some guy who would normally blend in. Nothing above or below average..someone who wanted to feel powerful and in control. A knife and a scary mask will do that for you.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
10:41 am

TwoLincolns Yes and No. Mayo is mayo. Miracle Whip is not mayo. Miracle Whip is just wrong on so many levels. LOL But then again so are a lot of certain types of relationships (marriages) that I will not speak of today.

But Coca-Cola, Pepsi, BigK are all brand names yet they are all cola. Now you may see a glass sitting on the table filled a brownish carbonated liquid and that liquid honestly be cola. Now I can lie to you about the brand however just because it is not the brand you desire does not make it not be cola.

The ingredients make the product. And yes I am still talking about relationships. LOL

Rell - know dat

May 1st, 2009
10:43 am

@2CENTS..thanks for keeping score

now to your point

RELL Somehow you’ve managed to cast a Trick – Hoe scenario on something entirely different.

love…from my experience a large majority of women will attempt to stick men in the trick bag…to my point

at the tavern a young lady beside me starts up a convo..we talk about alot of things for hours..enjoy the game..laugh..etc…we have talked this week…last night she mentions that her friends grilled her about me..but she also mention she had to remind her friends who i was..and her friend said…oo the dude that talk to you for an hour and did not offer to buy you a drank…now lets think on that for a moment…why would i HAVE to buy her a drink to keep her attention…again TRICK/HOE ish…but i realize this type of talk is forgien to the square world…

and on my journey…its says alot about who you are as a person to know my pain or what i am doing to heal..but if you must throw back at me..but i just smh at your self righetous attitude…peace love and have a good day

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
10:47 am

Leggs, change back. :lol:

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

May 1st, 2009
10:48 am

That may be true in some instances, but I know a lot of real cats, with beautiful dimes at the crib, that will occasionally break a little bread to trick off with a chick.

Shawty you know I got that cash…you don’t even have to ask…have anything you want to ’cause I can make it rain on you…it aint trickin’ if you got it……..

DuShawn I like the way you think…you give an honest “man’s perspective”, know what I mean? You trim off the fat and just give ‘em the meat. I likey :)

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
10:48 am

what RAQI said in her 10:26a. co-sign!

For Real

May 1st, 2009
10:49 am

What up blog fam!!!

What’s different about today’s topic from yesterday’s? Nothing! Both topics are trying to split hairs.

Lets get some ground rules here:

1. There are only two labels your either SINGLE or you are MARRIED!!!

2. You are single until you are married PERIOD!!

3. Marriage is the only relationship by LAW that is a committed PERIOD!! Everything else is non-binding agreement between two people.

4. 99% of the WOMEN on this blog are wayyyyyyy to fuggin old to be called GIRLFRIEND or wayyyyy to old to be out looking to be called GIRLFRIEND!!!!!

5. THE ONLY THING MARRIAGE DOES IS GIVES WOMEN AND IN SOME CASES MEN ACCESS TO THEIR SPOUSE’S MONEY/PROPERTY!! THAT’S THE ONLY GUARANTEE THAT MARRIAGE OFFERS PERIOD!!!

Now that the ground rules are in place lets talk!!

I-85

May 1st, 2009
10:49 am

Label or no label it’s one and the same thing. The older you get as a man the more you have to pay, confidence is the key you will have “free dates.”

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
10:49 am

Cougar I wasn’t dating anyone else – yet. But I was looking to. This guy and I were in a committed relationship and I told him that it wasn’t going to work but we could still ‘hang’.

Kym you’re already starting in on my Falcons…

AmRed My friend is going on the TJMS cruise and instead of going to Mexico – word is they are going to San Francisco and Seattle. I can’t imagine paying that much for a cruise that leaves one city in the contiguous US and docks at two others. So glad I decided not to make that trip this year.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
10:52 am

Morning –

Tazzee – Seems as if you had a lil extra time on your hands this morning…You care to help me with some of my month closing numbers? I came in early only to find out i made one error on something i spent 2 hrs on yesturday. Gotta start that rpt over. :(

_______________________________________

The “boyfriend experience”.

Reminds me of a Valet guy – (a new metaphor for you Swissie)- The type of guy that “fits the good for you, role” but then, is typically just good “to” you. He takes care of your exterior needs, typically the cute & fun – The “boyfriend” stuff. And while performing “duties” & looking good doing it, he’s just not a permanent driver.

Valet Consumer’s Tip: Liabilty insurance on a valet driver is typically very expensive. If you hire one, ask about his personal insurance policy.

:wink:

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
10:53 am

I can’t imagine paying that much for a cruise that leaves one city in the contiguous US and docks at two others

Tazzee – Me either! When is the cruise set to sail? Soon?

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
10:54 am

For Real – Those rules suck. :lol:

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
10:55 am

Staceye she actually likes it. I eat more of it now than before. I prefer mustard she prefers mayo.

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
10:55 am

@RELL brother that is a good point! What is the mindset of women who think because you are conversing and having a good time you shouldbut them anything!

Ladies what is the thinking behind those thoughts!

@TMAC …. You may have missed it… but someone stole Staceye libido and we have informed the FBI and homeland security agencies to go out and find it! :smile:

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
10:57 am

AmRed – they are leaving on May 17. I feel bad for her but I am SO glad I’m not going.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
11:00 am

@Tazzee–naww not starting at all…but preseason is just around the corner..lol.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:00 am

Coogs – A guy buying me a drink is not a necessity for my conversation. It’s always a nice gesture but not necessary.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
11:04 am

:lol: @ARed. I know.

@Rell, no you don’t have to offer to buy the lady you’ve been conversing with for over an hour a drink. It would have been nice, but certainly not mandatory. Hell, it I want another drink I’ll buy it myself and probably would offer to buy you one as well if I’m talking to you for that long.

Dan

May 1st, 2009
11:04 am

@Hunter

From me asking the very question in your 10:55 here’s the answers I rountinely get:

“If he’s really interested, he’d buy me drink when mine is gone”

“If he’s getting his [drink] refilled, common courtesy is to ask me if I’d like a refill” <–some merit

“Because I’m thirsty”

Mind you, this is a particular “brand” (off-brand) of chick. So…take it at that.

Some of the “muck” aforementioned

For Real

May 1st, 2009
11:07 am

Kym: I have never bought the whole “rape is about power” line. I believe it was started to give victims something from the event they feel they can take back. Men already know they are stronger than women rape doesn’t prove that to them. Men that rape women do so for:

1. SEX

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
11:07 am

REll- ?? A gentleman would offer to buy a lady a drink.. It is not about keeping her attention at all.. Men are sooo different! I know dudes that would buy a lady a drink and not want anything from her. That is a gentleman.. Sad to know that there is something wrong with buying a lady a drink!

Question: Do you guys open doors for your lady or any lady? Car door, store door etc…

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
11:09 am

For Real- I DISAGREE!! A man rapes a woman cause he knows she will resist him.. If she agrees to have sex with him, most likely he won’t want to do it..

Foots

May 1st, 2009
11:13 am

Oh, no! Not the “buy me a drank” convo again! LOL!

For Real DUDE!! Are you EVER going to share an experience of your own about actually dating instead of making rules about what everyone else can say and should do? Just askin…

On topic, I can see why a man would pay for it. Like others have said, it’s about the variety of being able to do things and say things that a woman they’d see on a more regular basis would be opposed to. It’s about hearing “Oh, baby you’re so sexy” instead of “Didn’t I tell you to take out the trash”. It’s about telling a random woman about your day, your secrets, and your dreams without ever having to sit and listen to hers. It’s about paying for that type of intimacy and interest and then being able to get up and leave.

I don’t hate on it, men do what they feel they need to do to get what they need. If they are willing to pay for it, so be it. Believe me, I take note from women in the “business” and provide those things from time to time. Tying into the convo from yesterday, if you give someone what the type of love and intimacy they actually need instead of what you think they need, they’ll be less likely to get their true needs met elsewhere.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:15 am

I feel bad for her but I am SO glad I’m not going.

:lol: Tazzee – They’re not going to bring you back a shot glass then. I hope they have a good time anyway, but I’d be pizzed.

I’m supposed to go to Cancun in a couple months. First I get the report that there is all this violence. Now there is swine flu. We’ll see what happens next. :lol:

For Real

May 1st, 2009
11:15 am

Ared: Don’t make me give you a love tap with this monkey foot. Now, those are the rules.

Lioness: There is nothing wrong with a man buying a woman a drink. What’s wrong is for a woman to expect a man to buy her a drink.

On your second post, soooooooo the reason a man attacks a woman is because he wants to fight not because he wants sex????

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:18 am

Don’t make me give you a love tap with this monkey foot.

:lol:

For Real – please grace us old spinsters with what title we should be given instead of “girlfriend.” I didn’t know there was an age limit on the term.

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
11:19 am

For Real- I agree! As for your question, he wants the feeling of taking what the woman doesn’t want to give..

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
11:20 am

For Real..I am not going to debate with you because one..I am too tired..and two..like the saying goes Opinions everyone has one. But if sex is the ultimate mission..you can get the most depraved forms of sex sent to you digitally or given 20.00 and a six pack you can get the same act performed by two crackheads or two willing sex workers(heck talk right and you might get it for free)..I mean sex is the physical. Granted some rapist set sights on certain things..hair color, physical features, remind them of mama, but in the end it is still they want power and domination over that victim.

Dan

May 1st, 2009
11:20 am

@Lioness

Yes, I open doors for women (and the elderly) in general.

As to your second question, For Real hit it on the head you expecting me to buy you a drink is as presumptuous as me expecing you to do reciprocate with “something” because I bought you a drink.

Two totally different questions: one is courtesy, the other an [unrealistic] expectation

Foots

May 1st, 2009
11:22 am

Ladies, do you ever meet men who want “the girlfriend experience” instead of a REAL committed relationship?

Oh sure, many times. If I figure out that I’m liking dude like that and I want more and he doesn’t, I vacate. Once they figure out that I’ve dropped off the face of the earth, they call wanting to explain themselves. If I want to talk, I do, if I’m not hearing it, I don’t answer.

I’ve told one of my friends in particular not to get a man wanting to spend every waking moment with you and playing the role as the boyfriend mixed up with an actual committment on his part to being in a relationship. She was paying more attention to what dude did, rather than what he said, which was “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now”. I’ve gotten it confused a few times myself, so I was just sharing what I learned. The dudes that wanted a relationship with me came out and said just that, there wasn’t a long period of “Are we or aren’t we?” If he hasn’t said that, then I enjoy the time for what it is, then move on when I’m ready for something serious.

Wise Diva

May 1st, 2009
11:25 am

um For Real, I don’t think any “old chicks” were getting caught up on the title of girlfriend per se. Girlfriend is the adjective in this case, not the noun. LOL

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
11:25 am

That’s it right there “For Real”. Those that “expect” the man to buy the drink. Ok, we’ve chopped this drink convo to pieces in the past. Come with your own money so you don’t have to wait for anyone to buy you a drink. :wink:

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
11:25 am

Lioness: I am not sure I agree a gentlemen is someone who buys a drink!

Being a gentlemen has nothing to do with buying a woman a drink at a bar he just met!

@from Tazzee — Cougar I wasn’t dating anyone else – yet. But I was looking to. This guy and I were in a committed relationship and I told him that it wasn’t going to work but we could still ‘hang’.

@Tazzee so you wanted the benefits but not the commitment! I feel ya!

@

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:25 am

She was paying more attention to what dude did, rather than what he said, which was “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now”. I’ve gotten it confused a few times myself, so I was just sharing what I learned.

Foots – Definitely guilty of this as well. Ah, the joys of youth. :lol: But this also touches on yesterday’s topic, someone good TO you that’s not good FOR you.

Ironically, Grey’s Anatomy had the “not good for you.” As a storyline on yesterday’s episode too.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
11:27 am

Hello folks.

De ja vu today?

Seems like a replica of “Good for you, or good to you.”

Okay, I have a metaphor jus’ for u Swissie.

“The boyfriend experience”, is like having personal Valet.  Valet hook-ups do a hella performance for their clients.

Since it’s Friday, I’ll just play with this one and say; A valet boyfriend could perform those cute and fun boyfriend “duties” he “fit the part of being good for you” but typically is just “good to you”, and probably wouldn’t become the permanent driver.

Valet Consumer Tip #1: Valet drivers’ liability insurance is typically very expensive. If you hire one, make sure to inquire about his personal insurance policy.

Foots

May 1st, 2009
11:27 am

Actually, that same friend has practiced her game and is enjoying the boyfriend experience with a dude now. She brought him to my party a few months back and I asked her recently how things were going. She said that she answers the phone when she feels like it, she goes to lunch if he asks her to go when she feels like it, and she likes not having to answer to anybody about what she does or how she spends her time. I get the feeling that he wants more, but she’s not giving him any false hopes about what it is: a slightly un-platonic male-female friendship. It’s just what she needs right now.

Wise Diva

May 1st, 2009
11:27 am

LOL @ Foots! “Are you EVER going to share an experience of your own about actually dating instead of making rules about what everyone else can say and should do? Just askin”

that’s a great question actually, I would love to hear about the women you date For Real, surely you can pick the great ones since you have so many rules that work for you, with all your bulleted lists and rules, have you realistically attracted the woman that embodies them all? If she exists, that is.

For Real

May 1st, 2009
11:28 am

Foots: Are you raising your voice to me? My experience let’s seeeee… I started out as an embryo. I was single then and I am still single. I’m straight forward with the chicks I meet. I don’t lie. I don’t play game. My word is my bond. I don’t want to get married. I don’t want a girlfriend (see my earlier post about gf). If that’s good with a chick then I will be good to her and good for her (hey Wise). If and when that’s no longer what the chick want from me, then we part as friend and I keep on chugging along. I don’t just spout off on here I live by everything I say. Well except when I’m playin. I believe in K.I.S.S and my peace of mind. I defend my peace of mind with everything I got. So, all of my relationship stories start and end the same way. There maybe some chicks that believe I will change but I always remind them of what I said on the first day, the second day, the third day….. I don’t want to be married. I don’t want a girlfriend. So swallow the blue pill because you want to. How’s that?

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

May 1st, 2009
11:29 am

@TMAC …. You may have missed it… but someone stole Staceye libido and we have informed the FBI and homeland security agencies to go out and find it…….

Tmac You think you can handle that?……I’m just sayin ;)

For Real – please grace us old spinsters with what title we should be given instead of “girlfriend.” I didn’t know there was an age limit on the term.

AmRed awwww sookie sookie let’s get it started….

lurker

May 1st, 2009
11:29 am

That may be true in some instances, but I know a lot of real cats, with beautiful dimes at the crib, that will occasionally break a little bread to trick off with a chick. If they choose to make a female do something strange for little piece of change, it’s not out of necessity, but more for the convenience and the different experience.

Why pay someone to do what your wife can do? Or why not get with the strange, seeing what you like is what you’ll get and make a go of it? I think Staceye’s post from Wednesday about sums it up….

Staceye 4/29/09men claim they want a “virtous” woman…but then they go out and get the total opposite. I think men say they want what is good on paper. Some even marry those…but then they cheat with what they really wanted in the first place. All this is to say that people are full of it.

Dan

May 1st, 2009
11:34 am

@Lurker

Key word in that statement “strange”

There are request that, even if wifey would happily perform, some men just can’t make of an SO. Madonna/whore, parochial interests, whatever you wanna call it – “strange” (as in abnormal) is where those “ladies of the night” make most of their living.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:35 am

I don’t want to be married. I don’t want a girlfriend.

For Real – How soon after you meet a girl do you tell her this?

The other day, you mentioned a lady you are seeing who was told she is “too available” to you. I might give my girlfriend the same advice now knowing you don’t want a girlfriend or a wife. I’d question what my friend was doing with a guy like that, especially if I knew she wanted a commitment.

So now it makes sense why something like that was said.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
11:35 am

For Real so the chick that’s too available…what was that all about. You can go on and on and on with a chick day in and out with nothing more or less in mind?

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
11:36 am

Cougar- to each its own. A drink is a drink.. I could understand not wanting to pay her rent/mortgage. Buying a drink is not that serious..

lurker

May 1st, 2009
11:37 am

AREDThe other day, you mentioned a lady you are seeing who was told she is “too available” to you. I might give my girlfriend the same advice now knowing you don’t want a girlfriend or a wife. I’d question what my friend was doing with a guy like that, especially if I knew she wanted a commitment.

I was thinking the same. He’s just wasting a chick’s time. There are some but not many with “nothing” in mind when she mets a dude.

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
11:38 am

Ared- That is why I responded to him that we need the WHOLE story.. Not bits & pieces.. He carried that girl how he wants and the friends caught on to that..

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
11:39 am

I sure can’t wait until this season Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice come out on DVD…

Dan

May 1st, 2009
11:39 am

@WD

My post wasn’t “dirty” unspam that joint for ya boy.

@Lioness

Yes. “to each his/her own” – to complete the thought – to each [drink] his/her own [responsibility]

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
11:39 am

You guys have some great memories. I too wondered about the “too available” lady! :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:41 am

You guys have some great memories

It happened this week. Not 2 years ago. :lol:

(I’m joking w/ you Leggs)

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
11:42 am

Dan- WOW!! Sad :(

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
11:44 am

You are too funny ARed. While typing that I said to myself, well it only happend this week.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:44 am

Lioness – :lol:

The mortgage part was funny.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
11:46 am

LeggsYou guys have some great memories. I too wondered about the “too available” lady!

The way he posed his question, it appeared to me his interested was peaked…and was wanting to make sure he moved in the right direction of avoiding getting blocked (by her girls). Heck I think all the chicks still blogging (as it was late), was passing opinions and advice what ole girl was coming from….so he could not get his “time in” rationed. Heck, nevermind now….lol He ain’t looking to have a girlfriend nor wife.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
11:47 am

my typing has been bad lately

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
11:47 am

For Real@ You need to drop some deep ish for these ladies they need to know how you operate!

Question: Ladies why do you stop doing the freaky once you have become comfortable in the relationship/married?

lurker

May 1st, 2009
11:48 am

Cougar Question: Ladies why do you stop doing the freaky once you have become comfortable in the relationship/married?

Some of us don’t…hence the reason we can’t quite wrap our minds around “the need” to cheat

Tmac

May 1st, 2009
11:48 am

Sassy Me….tastes like candy :-)

I have some African ritual to resuscitate her libido and it works like a champ I heard….

lurker

May 1st, 2009
11:49 am

…..Cougar other than having your cake and eating it too…there’s never a “need” though…no matter the problem. If you’re married, deal with it.

Sybil

May 1st, 2009
11:49 am

Cougat – We don’t want it any less. Y’all sorry @$$#$ just get lazy and act like you forget how to perform foreplay cause YOU have gotten so comfortable that all you want to do is roll over, hump and come.

For Real

May 1st, 2009
11:49 am

Ared: 1. You are not a girl your are woman, 2. I’m not a boy, I’m a man, 3. If you are not married then you are a single woman and I am a single man. 4. I’m just playing with the list (hey wise i’ll get to later) but as to what to call a women in a relationship that isn’t married….. SINGLE!!

Lioness: But doesn’t he already know he is physically superior?

Kym: No debate I understand this is a touchy subject for some but let me counter your last point and I will drop it after. You pointed it yourself “Granted some rapist set sights on certain things..hair color, physical features, remind them of mama” – Those are things of attraction which flows their punkazz boats. Without the sex it’s a fight of unevenly matched people.

Wise: Actually I have been blessed with the women that I meet. I can without a doubt say that all of them were/are top shelf. Any man would be honored to have them as a wife. That’s why the your whole “good to me” or “good for me” concept doesn’t work. The question isn’t whether I was “good to” or “good for” the women in my life because I was and they would tell you the same. The question is “Am I the one for them” and the answer to that question is “NO”.

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
11:50 am

Lurker- Right on..

Tmac- That ish sounds scary! Staceye watches Paranormal State on the reg so be careful with that voodoo stuff :)

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
11:50 am

Okay wait For Real..hold up. You are giving women info up front you don’t want serious, marriage..blah blah. And then if you call a woman say tonight and say “You up for the freaky sneaky and she says sure.” And you call on Sunday and say “Please ma’am may I have some more?” and she says Sure. Then at that point she is considered too available. Because each time you ask she answered. If all you are doing is hanging out and she is available and you are available then how in the hell is a person too available? You know something wrong with you dude..your logic is all out of wack. Too available? What the hell?

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:51 am

Ladies why do you stop doing the freaky once you have become comfortable in the relationship?

Coogs – This is a N/A for me. I don’t do that. :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:52 am

Kym – For Real didn’t say she was too available. The girl he is seeing was told that by one of her girlfriends.

KoolAid House

May 1st, 2009
11:52 am

“Question: Ladies why do you stop doing the freaky once you have become comfortable in the relationship/married?” I never did.

Question: Why do you guys get fat when you’re comfortable in the relationship/marriage. I never understood how some of you guys walk around with that beer gut when it wasn’t there when you got married!

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
11:52 am

For Real- It has nothing to do with physical..

Kym- He is a Gemini ;)

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:54 am

I don’t get why guys with no interest in having a relationship or getting married date in the first place. Is that the only way they can get a girl to sleep with them or something?

Or maybe you just have to align yourself with women like Staceye who also doesn’t want a relationship or marriage?

I’m lost.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
11:54 am

For the record, I’m KoolAidHouse, but keep forgetting to change my moniker from another blog.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:55 am

LMAO @ Sybil. Damn!

Dan

May 1st, 2009
11:55 am

@Lioness

It’s not sad, were speaking on the degree of expectations.

You expect something “minor” like a drink to not be a problem for guy that is courting you; he, in return may expect more of you than you’re willing to give at that moment.

His expectation is no less valid than yours, just a differing degree of the outcome.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
11:56 am

Foots I don’t think it’s about the random, I honestly think it is about having a need fulfilled. A need that he cannot get met within his relationship or just a need to be in a relationship but cannot make it happen.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
11:56 am

Cougar “Ladies why do you stop doing the freaky once you have become comfortable in the relationship/married?”

I don’t start until then…

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
11:57 am

I’m just playing with the list (hey wise i’ll get to later) but as to what to call a women in a relationship that isn’t married….. SINGLE!!

For Real – That makes no sense tho. Pay attention to what i’m asking.

You’re at the office party and are making introductions. You don’t say this is my “single” Sarah. You introduce her by a title such as “my girlfriend” Sarah. So what term are you supposed to use if not girlfriend? Lady? Woman? (which sounds so stupid in setting like those, imo). lol

lurker

May 1st, 2009
11:58 am

I don’t start until then…

Here Here….good answer (clapping)

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
11:58 am

Lioness@ Are you caught up with a men buys you something that makes him a gentlemen?

Lurker I believe you! Their are too many knucklehead men that screw up good relationships for whatever reasons! But we both know some women do everything to get a man to marry him then stop performing after the wedding! That is a divorce waiting to happen!

Sassy…. Can you tell us what taste like candy and what type of candy you talking about? :smile:

For Real

May 1st, 2009
11:59 am

Ared: I say it on the first day so there is no confusion. Would you still question your gf if the guy was “good to and good for” even tho he didn’t want a gf or wife? What would you say to her if she didn’t want commitment? By the way please define commitment because when men here that word it SCREAMS MARRIAGE.

Lurker: Yep that was me. Not sure what you mean by “You can go on and on and on with a chick day in and out with nothing more or less in mind?” Oh and a waste of time on happens when you do not gain ANYTHING at all which I find almost impossible. At least I have never experienced it before.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
11:59 am

Kym- He is a Gemini

FOUL ON THE PLAY!!! :lol:

BTW – Today is the beginning of my birthday month – let’s all start celebrating!!!

somehow I didn’t make plans for my birthday this year….how did that happen?

Dan

May 1st, 2009
12:01 pm

@Ared

Why is the title “friend” so abhorrent in those situations? “This is my friend ___.”

Foots

May 1st, 2009
12:01 pm

For Real I didn’t ask about who you were, I asked about specific dating experiences since this is a dating blog. You didn’t give any examples of you interacting with a real woman in your blurb, other than the woman who was backing away from you earlier this week.

I’m sure that you date, because you’re not about forming relationships, so tell us a story about one of those chicks as a way of contributing to the conversation.

And yeah, I did raise my voice. LOL!

DuShawn

May 1st, 2009
12:01 pm

“……Why pay someone to do what your wife can do?” Humans have been tricking since the beginning of time. I can’t explain it, but I could understand it. A few years ago on my birthday, as a gift to myself, I rented this expensive sports car for the week end. Both my whips were operable and parked in the drive way. I just wanted to flex for my birthday. I equate that to married brutha’s that trick off. Although you have something nice parked at home, sometimes you get tired of driving her and want to stunt.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
12:01 pm

@ For Real..then my apologies. I had the misconstrudded the facts. Well all I can say is good luck with that.

Foots

May 1st, 2009
12:02 pm

Just a little though. :-)

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
12:04 pm

Awww ARed, you know since that’s his stance, he’s going to introduce the woman by her first name…nothing more, nothing less!

I thought you were calling me Sybil because of my two monikers, but realized there is a Sybil in blogsville!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:05 pm

Would you still question your gf if the guy was “good to and good for” even tho he didn’t want a gf or wife?

Absolutely. But if she wants marriage and he doesn’t, he’s not good for her. So you can remove that from the equation.

If she doesn’t want a commitment and he doesn’t either, then there is no problem.

And I don’t care if “commitment” screams marraige. Many women desire marriage so what is the problem?

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 1st, 2009
12:05 pm

TMAC…I posted it on my Facebook..so who is to say that it did not get around? Not sure….

RAQI…”I prefer mustard she prefers mayo.” You guys fighting already? LOL

TAZZEE…where’s da party? :lol:

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
12:06 pm

Cougar & Dan- Where are you two getting your info from? I have NO expectations from any man that I don’t know in a bar or anywhere. I was just saying that buying a drink is not that serious! Now, if a dude is talking my HEAD off for hours and doesn’t have the common decency to offer me a drink, then I know that his tail is not for me.. First impressions are the most lasting :)

Sybil- LMAO!!

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
12:06 pm

Did you all hear about the woman that is suing Chase because they mistakenly told her husband about the $800,000 that is she has in a secret account. After finding out he nagged her about giving him part of it so she gave him $150,000 so now she is suing Chase for that $150,000.

See why do you need a prenup when you are smart enough to save money on the side just in case things go awry? LOL

It’s funny because she gave in and let him have the $150,000 to save her marriage, but I bet she is hiding the money so she will have it if they get divorced and she wont have to divide money that no one knows exist. Why would anyone hide money from their spouse especially reaching almost $1mil if it is not a just in case savings? She sho ain’t hiding it so she can die rich. Dying rich just leaves it to someone else.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:07 pm

Why is the title “friend” so abhorrent in those situations? “This is my friend ___.”

Dan – I’m talking about exclusive relationships. If you and your girl are exclusive and working towards marraige, that is not your friend.

Lawd, Steve Harvey got this one so right. :lol: Run ladies.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:08 pm

Awww ARed, you know since that’s his stance, he’s going to introduce the woman by her first name…nothing more, nothing less!

Leggs – You ain’t neva lied! I shouldn’t have even asked. :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:12 pm

Actually I have been blessed with the women that I meet. I can without a doubt say that all of them were/are top shelf. Any man would be honored to have them as a wife. The question is “Am I the one for them” and the answer to that question is “NO”.

Lawd – If this guy was a Leo I would think my ex was posting on here. :lol:

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
12:13 pm

I see I cannot blog and listen in on a conference call at the same time! :smile:

Lioness Do you believe a man is a gentlemen who buys you something!

Ladies I am just asking from your point of view I cannot for the men.

@Ared when is it appropiate to call someone your girlfriend or boyfriend? Why is the title so important to you! :wink:

Where is Mamba I think T-Mac has her trembling because he has that african voodoo for her! :smile:

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
12:15 pm

So help me Terry Bradshaw if I ever here one more man introduce his wife, SO, or girlfriend as my lady/woman again I will scream. If ever there was a more stupid way to identify a person. Saying someone is “my lady or woman irks me to know in. I just..(insert scream here)

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

May 1st, 2009
12:16 pm

Afternoon folks.

On topic because I’m not reading back to see if its changes.

This place is the absolute king of buying a gf. These cats pay loot monthly for a chick to walk around holding hands and tomorrow she’s doing the same thing. Saw an older portly fella holding hands with a nice looking oriegentle that he’d of never had access had he not been paying. Thing is its not only not looked down on but its the norm here. Why romance a chick when you can drop 30 kd and have a happy ending. LOL

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:18 pm

Ared when is it appropiate to call someone your girlfriend or boyfriend? Why is the title so important to you!

Coogs – When relationship exclusivity is established.

And yes titles and rules are important to me. Those silly gray areas cause a lot of unnecessary confusion. I don’t want to go out on the town and have a guy tell me he’s “single” just because he’s not married. If you’re exclusive to someone else, you are not available to me and you know that is the point of the question. So stop playing games. It’s unnecessary. There are chicks out there that will play with whatever particular program you’re on at the time, so seek them.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 1st, 2009
12:19 pm

RAQI…she has a “leave ninja fund”. That was her secret stash to be out if he acted a fool. :lol: I know I would…

COUGAR..you know nothing makes me tremble in fear..oh weel rodents! :lol: I know…a NY’er who is a afaid of mice! CRAZY! :lol:

LEGGS…you calling me Sybil again? :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:20 pm

Saying someone is “my lady or woman irks me to know in.

Kym – I think it’s corny too. :lol:

I surly did introduce my 38 year old to my coworkers as “my boyfriend” at the office Christmas party. I’m not calling him my “dude,” “man” or “fella” in a professional setting. I don’t care if he was 50. :lol:

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
12:22 pm

@FOOTS, WISE
i’ve been tryin’ forever to get FOR REAL to talk about his personal life. i’ve tried being subtle to where i’m not coming off as a flirt. i’m curious to know if he’s dating and what she’s like.

mysterious is his name . . .

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:23 pm

i’ve been tryin’ forever to get FOR REAL to talk about his personal life. i’ve tried being subtle to where i’m not coming off as a flirt. i’m curious to know if he’s dating and what she’s like.

No wonder he’s scared. :lol:

Rell - know dat

May 1st, 2009
12:24 pm

if you dont understand the importance of titles then you not even ready to play

chew on this

You give her a title to recieve the benefits of said title….

You give her a title to establish who you are in life….now that will throw some of you…but just think on it fellas

please STOP RIGHT NOW top flightn the poo see…

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
12:26 pm

I’ll probably always call you Sybil, my lil sis! :lol:

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
12:26 pm

Hell just say the person’s name. Hello Roger Rabbit..I would like you to meet Sam Spade. Sam Spade..Roger Rabbit. Done.

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

May 1st, 2009
12:27 pm

I have some African ritual to resuscitate her libido and it works like a champ I heard….

Tmac show ‘em what you got…..watch out there now :)

ForReal were you hurt or scarred in a previous relationship?…did she hurt you really bad or somethin cause you seem rather staunch and adamant in your stance against relationships….or at least the title(i.e.girlfriend or wifey). Almost sounds/tastes like Raqi’s mayonnaise from this morning. Just a question not an accusation. Please relate and expound cause inquiring minds wanna know. Get at me…….

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
12:28 pm

Staceye what’s funny is it seems like he was more concerned with getting some of the money rather than why she was saving and hiding that kind of many in the first place.
But the thing is now, if the do not have a prenup he will get half and it is all the bank’s fault.

Now I am one for dividing all assets accumulated during the marriage equally should it south, but I ain’t gone lie. If I am saving and hiding money I am doing so with the hopes of not having to give him any.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 1st, 2009
12:29 pm

LEGGS…”I’ll probably always call you Sybil, my lil sis”…OK…just checking! :lol: I think I am Staceye today. :question:

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 1st, 2009
12:31 pm

RAQI…she should sue the bank for whatever she may have to give him should they divorce. I am a firm believer in separate finances.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:31 pm

So Kym, after you introduce the person by name, how would you handle someone asking what their relationship to you is? And the person asking is not random to you.

It’s real simple for some, especially in professional settings. When someone introduces their significant other, they provide the title. Your dating hang ups should not be evident in times such as these. (trust me, we all know what it means when you introduce someone as friend or just by name it = NOT SERIOUS, so don’t think y’all are fooling anyone) :lol:

Dan

May 1st, 2009
12:31 pm

@Rell

You give her a title to establish who she is in your life

I mean I get it, but the whole “title” joint gets overblown. Sometimes “jusbeing” is soooooo the move

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
12:31 pm

:lol: @ARed!

@Beautiful, pump the brakes! Sounds like borderline blogstalking! :lol:

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
12:32 pm

Who’s going to Hawks/Heat game tonight!?!? Ticket holders, please…please…please scream, rally, and represent enough for me too!!! Oh-wee, i want some tickets!

Tazzee Tonight for the game, your cousins are meeting at the spot on CampCreek and reserving the “selective” velvet seating (i’m laughing at this setting arrangment).

…details soon…

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:33 pm

Sometimes “jusbeing” is soooooo the move

Run ladies. :lol:

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
12:34 pm

Red you are funny! :wink: Angie might hinder a person from dropping some info about themselves!

Kym you get your scream out!I guess we are making relationships way to complicated today! :smile:

Mamba are you (BKA Sybil too)? :lol:

Lioness

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
12:37 pm

Couger- Yes?

SexyCool

May 1st, 2009
12:38 pm

Me and some of my folk may be over on Camp Creek at one of those spots, Taz. If ya’ see me, holla!

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
12:38 pm

Staceye I was thinking she could probably do that by having a case opened now that will remain open for a set amount of years and should they divorce within that time frame her damages to be paid by the bank would be whatever she has to give up. However the way things are now would Chase even exist in let’s say 10-15 years?

I personally think she was stupid for having the money in the same bank that she shares a personal account with him and an account for their kids. If I ever changed by marital beliefs and decided to stash some cash I would not do it in a bank that my husband utilizes.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
12:39 pm

Staceye – I need to borrow a reeeeaaal stupid outfit for tonight. Something gaudy and South Beach-ish. Can you find?

If i meet you right after work, before the game, I can get you to rinse out my wash n’ set i’m wearing from your domini-sisters, and then gel my hair up in a mohawk. :)

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:39 pm

Nas and Kelis split up?!? :cry:

Nick and Mariah made it a full year? :shock:

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
12:40 pm

@ SexyCool – Look for the girl with the wanna-be-a Mohawk look, then you see Tazzee, laughing her butt off ‘cuase she know i can pull it off.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
12:43 pm

WOW, they did. Congrats to them. They may wind up like Whitney and Bobbie. No one thought that marriage would last as long as it did.

Dan

May 1st, 2009
12:43 pm

@Red

Why run?

Just being to me means -just being me and [her]. Caring for someone shouldn’t require an artificial title.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
12:43 pm

That would be “Bobby”

Foots

May 1st, 2009
12:44 pm

Raqi I personally think she was stupid for having the money in the same bank that she shares a personal account with him and an account for their kids.

Yeah, I’mma go with what she said. To have bank like that in ONE bank account is crazy anyway. Don’t that chick understand FDIC limits??

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
12:44 pm

Well first off people at my office will never meet my SO. We don’t have events like that here.. and I am not one for showing folks off. I am even getting out of the habit of saying my son when I introduce my son.. the boy has a name..I know I gave it to him… so he is more than just my son.
So the only people who should be asking are family and hell if they get to meet him then they know already he might be around for a while. Granted some family memmber will come up and ask is that your boyfriend..and depending on how rebellious I feel I might say nope we just f*(&(&ing around. (I go for shock value from time to time). But if someone professionally ask then I will say we are dating. Done. If the next question ask for more detail..I will move away or give them the blank stare.

abc

May 1st, 2009
12:45 pm

Strange topic. If you take $2K per hour (or event!) for your company, you’s a ho. What one gets from a ho is ‘the ho experience’. Spinning such that saying that any chick will cost you money is a bit different from a ho that just plain charges you. Purporting that hiring a ho is some sort of mainstream activity is not true.

So the question is, would you buy a ho and skip the relationship? Obviously, people do, else there wouldn’t be ho’s. I have a pretty low regard for ho-mongers, though. I have a bit of sympathy for the ho’s themselves, but none for the tricks.

Dan

May 1st, 2009
12:46 pm

@Foots

Remember, we’re up to $250K for individuals (and other structures)through 12/31/09

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:47 pm

Just being to me means -just being me and [her]. Caring for someone shouldn’t require an artificial title.

Cuz that’s bull. It’s not about caring. Just about everyone else in your life has a title. Grandma, sister, boss, mechanic.

So I’ve got to “justbe” with your funky azz? No thanks.

All the other titles are what they are. It’s no big deal. But when it comes to relationships, it is? Hogwash, imo.

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
12:47 pm

@LEGGS, AMAZON
lol. y’all funny today! i’m very observant. ev1 else has said something about that special someone in their life.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
12:47 pm

Staceye No party planned…yet. But I did just book a flight to go see my college roommate in DC this month. I’m excited because I’ll get to see two of my line sisters that I haven’t seen in 18 years (yup, I’m getting old).

Kym My guy calls me his lady – and I like it ;-) Yes, it’s corny but I don’t like the term girlfriend and friend sho nuff ain’t gonna cut it. On the flip side – I don’t know what I’ll introduce him as…I’ll probably just say his name because most of my folks know that if I’m introducing them to a guy he’s someone special.

Foots

May 1st, 2009
12:48 pm

Dan Oh, I care for plenty of dudes, three in particular, they are my friends. But the one that I love and have decided to be exclusive with, that’s my boyfriend. The title sets him apart from everybody else. Just my own experience.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:50 pm

Kym – Interesting perspective. Thanks for answering.

My office just attended a black tie charity event last weekend, so stuff like this comes up often. We get a plus one and it’s expected that we’ll bring signicant others if we have them. If we don’t, most often we’re asked to accept only one ticket.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:52 pm

If you take $2K per hour (or event!) for your company, you’s a ho. What one gets from a ho is ‘the ho experience’.

:lol: I love it when abc dumbs it down for us. Got any “yo mama” jokes for us today? :lol:

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
12:52 pm

So I’ve got to “justbe” with your funky azz? No thanks :lol:

Cemeeli and SexyCool Funny thing is, I somehow forgot the game was tonight. I was planning to go do this walk-a-thon, then looking at the dark skies thinking I’ll just go do some cleaning. My mind is bad. I’ll be looking for both of you on Camp Creek tonight – with my rally towel in hand.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
12:53 pm

Dag abc I tried to go nicety with the Valet service provider. YOu got straight to it on that 12.45 post. ooooo-kay.

Tazz – Check your Iphone it’s buzzin’ girl. :wink:

lunchtime!!!

Foots

May 1st, 2009
12:53 pm

Dan They were talking about $800K, which is substantially more than $250K.

The $250K is for individual accounts only. The retirement account limit did not change, nor did the aggregate joint limits I don’t believe. If they did not, she would have been covered for even less than $250K.

Just covered this a few months ago in the CFP program.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:54 pm

i’m very observant.

Angie made a funny. :lol:

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
12:54 pm

@COUGAR
i skip all your posts. who are you again? your a dude right? welcome to blogsville!

hinder . . . no not quite.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
12:56 pm

@ Tazz- I’m leaving my towel right here on my desk. So come Monday, after the win, i wont be so heavy handed bringing in my lifesize replica of SkyHawk for the office. hahahahha

Now!

I really need that Mohawk up-do Stac…. Check back in an hour.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
12:56 pm

Oh, I care for plenty of dudes, three in particular, they are my friends. But the one that I love and have decided to be exclusive with, that’s my boyfriend. The title sets him apart from everybody else. Just my own experience.

Foots – Thanks for that. I mean, that sounds so much simplier calling something what it is then pretending it doesn’t exist. To each it’s own to.

Not only that, but in the real world, people work with titles. No matter how you personally feel about them. So stop being silly.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
12:56 pm

Foots I know. If for no other reason I would have that kind of money divided up in several banks and accounts just to insure it.

I am sitting here trying to imagine the nature of the conversation that I would be having with a banker that he/she lets it slip that my husband has money that I don’t know about. I don’t doubt that he does however what would we be talking about that a personal account of his that does not have me name on it will come up in conversation. When I am at the bank I give them the numbers to the accounts I want to inquire about. No one is offering up any info voluntarily.

The only example I have:

Me: I will give you $1000 if you can tell me if my husband has any other accounts with your bank.

That instance right there is evidence that we already have problems brewing within our union.

SexyCool

May 1st, 2009
12:58 pm

Taz/CemeliI’ll bring my towel TOO and I may have on the shirts that they gave out at the game the other night with that huge @ss Home Depot logo on the back.

Dan

May 1st, 2009
1:01 pm

I hear you Foots (and you too Red)

It’s just that somma you ladies have infinite definitions (friends, aquantinces, etc) that it’s confusing.

My point is that what I call you don’t mean as much as us walking in together, arm in arm; me holding your chair out (door open, etc). It the XY and Z of me showing love. But that’s just my experience.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
1:01 pm

I can’t explain it, but I could understand it. A few years ago on my birthday, as a gift to myself, I rented this expensive sports car for the week end. Both my whips were operable and parked in the drive way. I just wanted to flex for my birthday. I equate that to married brutha’s that trick off. Although you have something nice parked at home, sometimes you get tired of driving her and want to stunt.

If you say so….still sounds like little having and eating cake going on. Just getting extras or different because you feel the need/urge. But yeah, in the real world we know this behavior exists.

ABC 12:45…say it again

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
1:02 pm

Lioness: Don’t worry if I see you in a bar I will buy you all the drink you want then try to get you back to me place for some spanking! :lol:

Look likes Campcreek is the spot to see Mamba and Cee in those sun dresses! I’ll find ya because I know it going to be loud and boisterous!
:wink:

Men we must always have a seperate account from the wife! :smile:

Ladies what in a name if I ask you to attend the party is that not obvious that you are significant to me?

Just asking! Sybil or Kym do not get too fired up it;s only Friday! :smile:

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:04 pm

My point is that what I call you don’t mean as much as us walking in together, arm in arm; me holding your chair out (door open, etc). It the XY and Z of me showing love.

Well of course not. And I’m sure your grandma feels the same but she’s still your grandma. And I doubt you’d go around introducing her as by her first name.

And yeah, for me, the definitions are finite and I tell people in my life that. If I introduce a guy as a “friend” know that no relations have gone down. My friends are my friends. They don’t fall into gray areas.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:06 pm

Ladies what in a name if I ask you to attend the party is that not obvious that you are significant to me?

And… :?: What is the big deal in professing that to other people?

Foots

May 1st, 2009
1:08 pm

Dan It’s not infinite, it means just what it says, straight from the dictionary:

Acquaintance – a relationship less intimate than friendship; a person with whom you are acquainted
Friend – a person you know well and regard with affection and trust
Boyfriend – a person’s regular male companion in a romantic or sexual relationship

i.e., Bill Ayers was an acquaintance of Obama’s because they knew each other in passing, he was NOT a friend.

Simple, really.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:08 pm

Now I’m starting to understand the designation of the “it’s complicated” status in regards to relationships on Facebook. Some of y’all sure are. :lol:

Sybil

May 1st, 2009
1:09 pm

Cougar – Men like to claim ownership of what’s theirs. You guys are always talking about ‘my this’ or ‘my that’…my car, my job, my frat and so on.

If you don’t introduce a chick as ‘my SOMETHING’, then there is not enough invested there for you to stake your claim.

You’re either planning something with her or you’re playing with her.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
1:10 pm

but in the real world, people work with titles

Ironically enough Amazon most of us if asked what we do at our jobs other than goof off would give the asker a job title as we fit into the company we work for. It’s our label. Project Coordinator, Supervisor, Credit Manager and so on. However we are okay with being “blank” in a relationship. Aaaaand those title primarily carry certain benefits and whatnot.

How funny are we. Even the bustboy at your local diner has a title.

Foots

May 1st, 2009
1:11 pm

Cougar No, if you asked me to a party, to me that means that you just want me to go to a party with you.

I thought guys didn’t like when women read too far into things. You mean to tell me that if you asked me to a party I’m supposed to assume that we’re on another level? LOL!!!!

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
1:11 pm

SexyCool and Cemeeli I forgot I bought a cute t-shirt the last time I was at Phillips. My friend and I were talking about how we didn’t want to get a player’s name on anything since they’ll change but I got this one anyway because it will never go out of style for me ;-) Might have to put that on tonight depending on how the muffin is acting :lol:

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
1:14 pm

You’re either planning something with her or you’re playing with her.

sums it up for me. good stuff Sybil.

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
1:15 pm

i love titles. they kinda let you know where you are in said relationship and how to act.

example one – she’s around your best buds and fam, SOME wifey duties, may have a key, constant contact throughout the day, care about their welfare, when you see him you see her, love is in the mix. GIRLFRIEND

example two – conversation is friendly, there’s space between you guys, you’re both seeing other folks, kick it once a week or so, a text here and there, kiss on cheek good-bye, only love for the friendship. FRIEND/PARTNA

Foots

May 1st, 2009
1:15 pm

Raqi And I also bet that if someone introduced the guy that walked into the room saying “This is John”, nobody would change their demeanor. But if they qualified him as “This is John, the new CEO of our company”, folks would make some adjustments.

My feeling is that they completely understand titles, but they are reluctant to give them because they aren’t quite sure where the woman fits in their life, and they don’t want the added responsibility and accountability that the title brings. To admit that right there is fine.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
1:16 pm

Not only do work titles carry certain benefits, they also carry certain responsibilities.

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
1:19 pm

@POOHBEAR
where r u? CHEWY discovered digging. help!!!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:21 pm

How funny are we. Even the bustboy at your local diner has a title.

Raqi – Precisely. I knew you’d get it. I was going to ask if you ever introduced your husband w/out a title, but I figured I knew the answer to that one already.

That’s why I clearly would run from any guy on that “let’s just be” nonsense. There is going to be some issues and conflicts with that mentality alone that I’m not dealing with (anymore! ;) )

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
1:23 pm

and for example one, your conversations are about the future . . . together.

DuShawn

May 1st, 2009
1:23 pm

“….You’re either planning something with her or you’re playing with her.” “….know where you are in said relationship” Typical, female “We need to Talk about us” rhetoric.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
1:23 pm

RaqiHowever we are okay with being “blank” in a relationship. Aaaaand those title primarily carry certain benefits and whatnot.

So true

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
1:23 pm

@Beautiful, I’m not getting on your case, but there’s a difference when someone willingly posts about their SO’s and when someone’s :arrow: “…been tryin’ forever to get FOR REAL to talk about his personal life. i’ve tried being subtle to where i’m not coming off as a flirt.” That’s why I said “pump the brakes” :lol:

Rell - know dat

May 1st, 2009
1:25 pm

@sexycoool….you know where i will be tonight…i just love dem wangs…lol…so i just might see you there…depending on what the crew want to do…but i digress

You give her a title to establish who she is in your life

- dan thanks for the remix but i meant what i said

We give her a title to establish who we are as well

- to my point….me my friend and his girl are at the bar…some dude walks up and tries to strike up a convo with his girl…his girl is like my man is behind me no thanks…dude is like is that your man…she said yes…dude said SO….what do you think happen next

my point is this title for men establish who we are…we are someones brother, father, lover, friend….we establish respect with the TITLES we hold and we want all the benefits of said TITLE….pause

Now if you not bestowing a title on your lady friends then my dude you are just holding the poo see hostage for the dude thats going to play the game fair…i mean if she is your ho at least give her the choice if she wants to be that or not

the arguement on titles is stooopid….you have to have them to establish respect and order….feel me..

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:27 pm

My feeling is that they completely understand titles, but they are reluctant to give them because they aren’t quite sure where the woman fits in their life, and they don’t want the added responsibility and accountability that the title brings. To admit that right there is fine.

Preach Foots!

Cuz I bet no one has a problem letting a girl they are interested in getting to know better that the pretty lady at the table is his SISTER! lol

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
1:29 pm

I don’t give title cause I think some folks just nosy as hell.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
1:32 pm

Foots scratch this entire sentence. because they aren’t quite sure where the woman fits in their life.

That part is more likely true –} “they don’t want the added responsibility and accountability that the title brings”.

If you pull up yahoo jobs or career builder you will jobs listed by title and salary. The average teacher in Georgia makes what…about $40,000. With the job skills and performance of a teacher an individual would expect to receive at least the average going salary.

But some folks want the “teacher” skills and performance within the relationship but don’t want to give the $40 that is warranted for the position. If you allow them to they will bring you in having you do all the work that the title holds but by not actually agreeing to give you the position or title they reap the benefits yet without the compensation or commitment to you.

SexyCool

May 1st, 2009
1:32 pm

Du – Actually, Sybil’s line about planning or playing is word for word Steve Harvey.

Last I checked, he was NOT female.

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
1:32 pm

@LEGGS
when you posts stuff like **I’m not getting on your case** it means nothing to me. you’re just like AMAZON. just say it!!!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:36 pm

I don’t give title cause I think some folks just nosy as hell.

Which goes back to my point of hang ups. Usually some resistants to titles is because someone has got some hang up about it for whatever reason.

Yeah, some folks are nosy as hell. Still doesn’t change what some folks are in your life. They’re nosy as hell, but your son is still your son nosy folks or not.

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
1:37 pm

**when someone willingly posts about their SO’s**

this is why we are all here. FOR REAL is not a relationship expert. if he was ok, but he ain’t. so it’s kinda strange to me on why he doesn’t share this part of his life with us.

Dan

May 1st, 2009
1:37 pm

@Rell

I’m not a cop, Ion handcuff naan female.

@Foots/Red

It is complicated, if at that moment [of introduction], I’m feeling “some kinda way about her” then I’ll state that fact.

But there two things that predominate my thought process on this:

1) I can call [you] what I want, it’s what [you] choose to answer to; and

2) It don’t matter what I call [you], it’s how I treat you that matters.

Everything else outside my [relationship] with a woman is just that – outside (labels and all).

Foots

May 1st, 2009
1:41 pm

DuShawn All the dudes that wanted to be with me in a real relationship, I NEVER had to ask “where is this going”. They told me where they wanted it to go. And I bet that your wife didn’t have to paint you in a corner for you to decide you wanted her, did she? You lovededed that woman! LOL!

Rell and Raqi are preaching now. It’s good to hear a dude break it down like that. Sounds different coming from the XY.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:43 pm

It is complicated,

Nope it’s simple. You make it complicated. If you were married, even if you were feeeling “some kind of way about her :???: ” she’d still be your wife. “You’ll state that fact?” What kind of malarkey is that? Seriously, does your head hurt over think this?

I’m running away so fast I just broke a world record. :lol:

And you still don’t get that most often, it does matter what you call us. How you treat us matters too. You can have both and should.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:44 pm

Thanks for no love Foots! :evil:

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
1:44 pm

**They told me where they wanted it to go.**

this is what i’ve experienced. if you have to ask a man **where is this going?** the answer is nowhere.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
1:44 pm

“they don’t want the added responsibility and accountability that the title brings”.

I started to add this right after Foots typed it, with a big fat cosign but the men folks just don’t get it (really they do). Cool, if no title, responsibility and nor accountability is how you roll, roll on. For every said chick getting the “bland” stamp branded on her she needs to throw in the “no azz” clause….it should be packaged with the “no title” thing. We know, we know there’s always somebody willing to break you off when your “nothing” won’t but that’s another blog topic…

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
1:44 pm

I think I told you all about when my first husband worked at a Cadillac dealership he was tricked into doing the duties of the supervisor but he was never given the benefits or pay. He worked the long hours and everything and after two weeks received the same pay as he did when he was working under the previous supervisor. He was young and didn’t know to get all of that worked out before hand. He trusted them and trusted they would do right by him. They kinda just pushed him up into the position and never promised him anything more than what he was already getting as just a dealer.

For Real

May 1st, 2009
1:46 pm

Kym: Kiss the monkey foot first then I will forgive you.

Ared: I introduce her by her name. – I’m too old to be going round talking about this is my gf. – What exactly does the title of gf give you? The title of wife gives you something but girlfriend? – You never defined what commitment means. – That was funny w/beautiful! – Why am I not good for her just because I don’t want to be married? So, the way I treat her, the thing I do for her, or having her back is all BS simiply because I don’t want to get married? – Dating only to get married is strange/scary to me. Is it the dude you want or is it marriage that you want since that’s the reason you date. Dating is a verb, something you do to get know people and yourself.

Foots: She wasn’t backing away from me, her friends keep telling her it’s not enough that I’m “good to her” and “good for her” but I need to marry her. It’s strange that all of her friends are single or in a relationship that don’t like/want but she is happy with/in our relationship. What’s the saying, “miserable women love company”. – On your boyfriend title setting him apart, that’s akin to gay people having this need to let everyone else know they are gay. WTF!!! So, you gay why do I have to know? The title of boyfriend is useless it’s your love for him and his love for you that sets him apart.

Sassy: Why do I have to be hurt or scarred to not want to be married? Why is it cool for women to choose to be single for life but something has to be hurt inside of men? But to answer question NO to both and I am not against marriage or people that are in relationships. I just don’t want to be in either one. One more thing, I don’t put a whole lot of stock into “relationships” they are no where near as important as marriage and that includes those “relationships working towards marriage”. You are either married or single.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:47 pm

so it’s kinda strange to me on why he doesn’t share this part of his life with us.

SOOOOOO?!? Like there is a rule he has to. :???:

Some folks OVER SHARE….and????

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
1:47 pm

I would LOVE a soft chewy brownie right now :)

lurker

May 1st, 2009
1:47 pm

And for most of the dudes that posts here, it’s a given, matter of fact they’ve been adamant that they ain’t co-existing with a SO without the physical/intimacy. So, without having a title or being with a “nothing” does that exempt you from requiring azz on a regular? Rhetorically speaking that is.

Foots

May 1st, 2009
1:49 pm

Amazon Oh girl, you know you break it down on the regular! How’s that? :-) We =====>here<=====.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
1:52 pm

Look lets be real if you see me and my son together you are not going to assume he is my date. He is tall but he ain’t that damn tall. Also the family resemblance is there. Folks might assume he is my brother, or nephew but dude I am dating never.

Now when you are in a social setting with a guy and someone says and who is this? This…is Barney Rubble. Barney Rubble this is Nosy Azz Irene. Now if Nosy Azz Irene can’t control her natural desire to be in other folks beeswax then she might say..”Ohh are you two dating?” Now if you want to answer to feed her curiosity go for it. I on the other hand am prone to fits of smartazzness and may say no he is the pool man. or Dating? Who Us? Oh No we just screw on occassion. or if I am really feeling froggy. I might say Dating? Why you want to know? Why are you offering him your panties? –Told you I go for shock value at times.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
1:53 pm

I clearly would run

Amazon Even if the title is “just a friend” that’s cool. But you shouldn’t be handing out girlfriend benefits as just a friend. That’s where we go wrong. If you want the girl/boy friend experience go get a girl/boy friend. If you want the wifey duties, get a wife.

Rell - know dat

May 1st, 2009
1:53 pm

@dan..i was not direct that at you…i am just flowing..peace god

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:53 pm

For Real

I introduce her by her name. – I’m too old to be going round talking about this is my gf. – What exactly does the title of gf give you? The title of wife gives you something but girlfriend?

Why does it have to give you something? But it gives clarity for one. But since you don’t want a wife or a girlfriend, I understand your adversion.

You never defined what commitment means.

An exclusive relationship with the potential to lead to marriage.

That was funny w/beautiful!

Thanks. I fear for you. Close your windows. :lol:

Why am I not good for her just because I don’t want to be married? So, the way I treat her, the thing I do for her, or having her back is all BS simiply because I don’t want to get married?

Stop being dramatic. Yes, treating someone well is imporatant, but also important is for both parties to be getting what they want out of the relationship. If she didn’t want sex and you did, it wouldn’t be a good relationship for you either.

Dating only to get married is strange/scary to me. Is it the dude you want or is it marriage that you want since that’s the reason you date. Dating is a verb, something you do to get know people and yourself.

No one is talking about dating ONLY to get married. So you can calm down about that.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
1:56 pm

Even if the title is “just a friend” that’s cool.

Raqi – The moment he fixes his mouth to bring that up, I tell him “cool, so there will be no dating, sex or girlfriend type benefits.” Which changes the whole dynamic right off the bat. :lol:

I don’t f*ck my friends. Never have never will. :lol:

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
1:56 pm

@LURKER
**“no azz” clause…** mine is branded in pink. no title . . . no na na.

@AMAZON
honey, i didn’t say there was a rule. you have to admit, it gets pretty deep on here and when it does bloggers pour their hearts out. all FOR REAL does is give advice and provide his bullet point lists. i ‘preciate the info he gives out, but come on now.

something tells me he has been hurt bad. but i could be wrong.

Foots

May 1st, 2009
1:56 pm

For Real What we have between us is what sets us apart, true. However, we don’t live in a world with just the two of us. If we did, there would be no need for titles.

And a woman will always be “just your friend”, so I see why you’re not with titles. You don’t actually have a “relationship” with a woman if you only call her up to “hang out” once every few weeks. You don’t do relationships, you’re both single friends, and you call her to kick it when the mood strikes. Don’t call it what it’s not.

I hear time and time again that you shouldn’t listen to relationship advice from people who aren’t in relationships. So should we bypass your posts about what we should do in ours? LOL

Dan

May 1st, 2009
2:00 pm

@Lurker

We keep dancing around the meat of it:

Are you “my girlfriend” because you give me some cookie? Am I your “man” when you give me the cookie?

Big questions, simple answers that (as Red said) we complicate with differing moral systems.

Sex (as we all know) does not define a relationship. We can go back and forth about it, but in the end, the sex is just sex.

Men and women have been in sexual relationships that:
- had no title,
- had one person thinking the relationship was something it wasn’t, and
- had a title that didn’t mean jackisht.

My point is, all this “you are [this] to me” is irrelevant. Do I treat you in a manner sufficient to the way you want to be loved (if not, am I open to changing how I treat you)?

Then why must we have a “title”, I with you/you with me – until either of us decides that no longer what we want.

Now the talk of exclusivity, responsibility, and all that are valid points. But as 2 adults, having had relationships prior to this one, you and I should both KNOW what this is. Artificially labeling it something is, IMO, extra.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:01 pm

all FOR REAL does is give advice and provide his bullet point lists

Sorry. I don’t pay that much attention. People can use this blog for whatever they want to get enjoyment. I’m not going to question that purpose or pay much attention really. *shrugs*

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
2:03 pm

And it is not so much as what you are introduced as all the time, it is more of knowing where you stand in the relationship. Are you two on the same page as to what you are to each other? If no, then yeah you are going to get your Hanes in a bunch when I tell my girls/coworkers/family that you are my man/boyfriend in your presence.

All the time you thought we were just hanging out and you enjoying the girlfriend experiences and she is thinking you are her man/boyfriend because is providing the experience for you.

Get on the same page and don’t get labeled as less than what you are offering up. Men AND women both.

DuShawn

May 1st, 2009
2:03 pm

“….What one gets from a ho is ‘the ho experience’” @ABC, I agree with your 12:45. However, the “ho experience” and the “girlfriend experience” are actually quite similar. Like at a strip club for example, right before she says ” ….that will be 60 bucks” you have a beautiful woman giving you her undivided attention, treating you like you’re the most handsome, finest, richest, king on earth. That’s what ho’s with experience do for a trick. However, the “ho experience” doesn’t always come from prostitutes. It’s similar to the treatment one receives when they visit their girlfriend’s home, when the relationship is new and love is in its infancy stage. Unfortunately, that euphoria tends to dissipate with time, bills, kids, job pressures and the weight of what is actually required to maintain a committed relationship. Consequently, a niche for real ho’s and concubines is created.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:04 pm

Look lets be real if you see me and my son together you are not going to assume he is my date.

Kym – My point is that no matter what the motives, usually the title still remains. If you make dating complicated or reluctant to give a title, doesn’t mean that it isnt there just because you don’t define it.

I’m just saying, in an exclusive relationship you can call him your man or not, but still doesn’t change the facts. Same with most other titles. Your son will be your son whether you call it that or not.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
2:04 pm

If I am girlfriend behind closed doors I am girlfriend in public. If I am wifey in private, then make me your wife.

Foots

May 1st, 2009
2:05 pm

For Real And yes, she’s backing away. If not right now, she will be soon, because she wants things to move forward. Now that she truly sees that you meant what you said about not wanting a girlfriend or a relationship, she’s re-evaluating where she is now with you. She put it out there for you like that instead of asking you outright what the two of you are. She did it so you’d make a move. You didn’t. So she’s going to be backing away.

If she was cool with what is going on between the two of you, she would have NEVER brought it up in the first place.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:05 pm

Oh girl, you know you break it down on the regular! How’s that? We =====>here<=====.

That works. Hey, sometimes I’m only have azz blogging. But today I think I’m actually making sense. :lol:

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:05 pm

*half azz blogging.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
2:06 pm

You know I try to avoid even reading your damn post but its Friday I’m tired and you are a easy azz target. Beautiful you are one nosy, keep stuff going cow. I mean just because you share your whole life story on this blog doesnt mean someone else has too. Its a blog not a damn confessional. This is not Blog Confessions. If he doesn’t share so the sam hill what. There are days folks wish you would keep quiet. Hell fire.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
2:06 pm

@ SexyCool and Tazzee.

I have an Atlanta Braves t-shirt but, not a Hawks shirt. Only because it’s so darn cold during the regular season games that i’ve never bought one. I also have a Thrashers’s shirt, but the Thrasher’s shirt doesn’t fit like that Braves shirt. I need Home Depot to give me a freee shirts. I cain’t believe i’ve never even thought of buying a Hawks shirt for me.

Lil Cee has one, we are about to be the same size. Maybe i could wear something from his closet. I’ve worn his 12-14 boys team t-shirts to his baseball games. And only the coach recognized that i was wearing my son’s t-shirt. We laughed b/c he commented to me “You’re wearing our throw-back” jerseys Ms. Cee”…Lol…i’m so vintage.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
2:07 pm

I want some Apple Jolly Ranchers.

Dan

May 1st, 2009
2:09 pm

@Rell

We good folks

@Foots

Trust me when I say, when I care about a woman she knows it. In the marrow of her bones. It does not require anyone else’s approval/conditions/permission.

We keep saying here that the world can’t tell you who you are (as a person), how can, suddenly, the world define your relationship?

Foots

May 1st, 2009
2:09 pm

Dan So, if me and you were out somewhere and I introduce you to my friends saying “This is my boyfriend, Dan”, would it bother you?

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
2:10 pm

Sorry you feel that way Beautiful cuz I’m nothing like ARed. I preface certain statements like that to you because you’re sensitive and I didn’t want you to read me wrong. No sweat sweetie, won’t happen again!!

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
2:11 pm

Dan it’s that experience that WiseDiva pointed out. The whole intimate experience. Physical and none physical. The time spent, the non-sexual favors. All of it. If you are doing all of it then don’t allow yourself to be treated as less.

I was watching Judge Mathis one night and this stupid chick was there talking about she and the guy was dating, but he said they were not. So Judge asked her questions based on what folks normally do when in a relationship and she was able to answer. Asked him the same questions and Judge caught him in a lie. She was his girlfriend and he ended up admitting it.

abc

May 1st, 2009
2:11 pm

Interesting point, DuShawn.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:12 pm

something tells me he has been hurt bad. but i could be wrong.

And :lol: at this, I missed it the first time… is this from you being so observant???

Good grief Angie…

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
2:13 pm

**Sex (as we all know) does not define a relationship. We can go back and forth about it, but in the end, the sex is just sex**

not to me it isn’t. if i have sex with you, i’ve given apart of me to you i can’t get back.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:14 pm

Sorry you feel that way Beautiful cuz I’m nothing like ARed.

She’s bonkers. Dismiss it.

For Real

May 1st, 2009
2:14 pm

Okay now we comparing apples and oranges with the job titles vs the romance titles.

Job Titles, are earned and you receive pay you for it.

Romance Titles, are given and the man pays for it.

See the difference??? – For the record WIFE is a title.

“they don’t want the added responsibility and accountability that the title brings”. – In the words of Ared DUH!!! That what he/I said in the very beginning. Its gets complicated when chick doesn’t hear “DON’T”.

Oh and that saying “having your cake and eating it too” is the stupidiest ish I have eva heard of. WTF else do you do with cake? I mean Dayum!!

So lurker that title is that important to you huh? Okay you are my gf but I’m treat you like ish but that’s okay because you have the title of GIRLFRIEND.

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
2:15 pm

Cee- I have been eating apple now or laters the huge ones..

I am about to make some oxtails :)

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
2:15 pm

LMAO @ Bonkers! I used to LOVE those candies :)

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
2:16 pm

Okay who saw Private Practice last night?

I only saw a small portion of Grey’s and WiseDiva as you would know I have a blog topic. LOL “Rules of Engagement”. I saw the part where Meredith was outside the hospital talking to PatDemp and she said that he had to agree with her and take her position. In other words you are my man you have to agree with me. Imma find an article for you that. LOL

What are the Rules of Engagement within a ‘lationship? If you have a secret that one of your friends told you is it okay to tell your SO?

Foots

May 1st, 2009
2:16 pm

Dan Because the world reacts to relationships. We all have a relationship to each other, even if you’re just the dude I know from around the corner.

What if you had a nice looking mother and the two of you were out at the same place, but not standing together and a dude at the bar randomly starts talking to you about the hot, older lady he just saw on the way to the bathroom, saying how much he’d like to hit that.

You’d check that dude in a NY minute by saying “Man, that’s my mama!!” And the dude would change his behavior and mostly likely apologize to you. That’s because now that he understands her relationship to you, it instantly changes how he behaves and the type of respect he will show to her around you.

Can you understand this?

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
2:16 pm

@LEGGS
i like you. if i didn’t i would posts some things that would hurt your feelings.

respect . . . just sayin’.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:16 pm

It does not require anyone else’s approval/conditions/permission.

Dan – What you fail time and time again to address is maybe SHE wants a definition. Maybe she wants a title.

This we against the world thing is great. But what about what SHE wants.

As a woman with women friends, we’re not typically on this “justbe” tip. Sorry.

DuShawn

May 1st, 2009
2:17 pm

A Potnah of mine is in a new relationship. He’s obviously really digging the chick. He talks about her often and is undoubtedly falling in love. I asked him, “well is that your lady?” He said “Actually, dog, she claimed me.” He told me they were at a social event with some of her friends and family and she introduced him as “this is my boyfriend…”. Surprised the shyt out of him. I said, playa, you didn’t receive the memo from the International Council of Single Women? It states, In 2009 if you f$%k four times, you go together.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
2:18 pm

@ Dushawn – The infancy stage it what prolonogs the “boyfriend/girlfriend experience”. It continually is about reverts to the thrill and fun of it all.

Your point was made plain.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:18 pm

LMAO @ Bonkers!

Have you been reading her posts today, tho Lioness?! Way to focus on the wrong damn thing. :lol:

Dan

May 1st, 2009
2:19 pm

@Foots

For you, no, I wouldn’t mind at all. In fact, I’d be smiling from ear to ear for the next 24 -48 hours

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
2:19 pm

Lioness I need my Jolly Ranchers! I need my Jolly Ranchers! Lol…Oxtails? Are we related, i’m semi-Jamacian? Lol

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
2:19 pm

All I have at my desk is grape jolly ranchers. Well, only have 4~

Grace

May 1st, 2009
2:21 pm

I’m in agreement with most all ofthe posts I’ve read so far. I’m all for titles,it defines where/what we are as to relating. No confusion, no stress/complication.

Most men I’ve met were only looking for a friend and I knew exactly what that meant. I cringe when I hear let’s be friends but you want to feel all up on my booty, hands off, no thanks.
When I’m out with the love of my life I dare him to introduce me as his friend.

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
2:21 pm

Ared- The same ol same ol.. Things that make you go hmmmm NEXT :)

lurker

May 1st, 2009
2:21 pm

Dan

Men and women have been in sexual relationships that:
- had no title,
- had one person thinking the relationship was something it wasn’t, and
- had a title that didn’t mean jackisht.

With your 3 points, how about we back up and say men and women have engaged in sexing…..then bring in your points. It’s not a relationship if no foundation been established. More often than not, folks get duped on the regular under the assumption that there’s more going on than just sex, when sex is being exchanged. More often than not folks get duped because when they reach for more, it’s not there because nothing was defined and folks are operating from different angles. I’m not crossing those lines under an assumption or even because you’ve labeled me as your girl. If the ingredients (love, trust, exclusitivity) of a relationship is void of whatever it is we call ourselves doing, not happening. We can blog from now on but we (grown folks) all know the scales are always tipped to someone’s disadvantage if both parties aren’t on the same page. If you’re being provided with the “girlfriend/boyfriend” experience, why not state to the other invidual what your intentions are? We’ve all been in situations where we’ve carried leverage. If I know a dude is seriously feeling me but I’m not there, I find it less complicated and messy to define and state where I am in that scene. All the while accepting those experiences you know whether or not you view that person as a serious SO. I guess I still don’t get rolling with the “unspoken and assumed.”

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
2:21 pm

When I go on maternity leave I am going to drive my friends crazy calling them all day because I am not going to have you all to goof off with every day. Especially after I have been home for 5-6 weeks. Alone all day. With a crying baby. Who doesn’t like me already.

Oh wait my knucklehead son will be there. It will be summer break. I will just drive him crazy.

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
2:22 pm

Cee- I am fully West indian :) LOL! Just born in NY

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:22 pm

I was watching Judge Mathis one night and this stupid chick was there talking about she and the guy was dating, but he said they were not. So Judge asked her questions based on what folks normally do when in a relationship and she was able to answer. Asked him the same questions and Judge caught him in a lie. She was his girlfriend and he ended up admitting it.

Raqi – I have so much experience with this. Dudes are so reluctant to even call it a “date” nowadays. Of course I call em on this. And especially if they think they are going to get a kiss.

So often, I have to break down what dating is and what we’re doing and then he has to admit it sure looks like a date. I’m over giving dating 101 lessons in 2009. But it’s sad out there.

Even the boys in the youth group at Church state “we don’t date, we smash” I bet the young ladies would love to hear that one. :???:

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
2:27 pm

**I cringe when I hear let’s be friends**

me too. it’s quite a turn-off to where you don’t want to be there anything. no friend, no kickin’ it buddy.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
2:28 pm

especially if they think they are going to get a kiss

Now I have kissed a guy or two that I did not consider to be a boyfriend. One kiss does not a boyfriend make.

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

May 1st, 2009
2:30 pm

Why do I have to be hurt or scarred to not want to be married? Why is it cool for women to choose to be single for life but something has to be hurt inside of men?

ForReal I asked the question b/c usually your posts tend to have an extremely hard angle AGAINST relationships and I wanted to know why….that’s all. Both men and women can at times become anti-relationship after they’ve been hurt and I wanted to know if you were one of them. Shyt do you bruh…do you. There’s nothing against being single for life(’cause I think I am) if that’s what floats your boat and gets you through the night then float,float, float on…float on float on……

Grace

May 1st, 2009
2:30 pm

One kiss does not a boyfriend make – when I was young I thought I would get pregnant if I kissed a boy (blink blink)

lurker

May 1st, 2009
2:32 pm

For Real Oh and that saying “having your cake and eating it too” is the stupidiest ish I have eva heard of. WTF else do you do with cake? I mean Dayum!!
So lurker that title is that important to you huh? Okay you are my gf but I’m treat you like ish but that’s okay because you have the title of GIRLFRIEND

If it reads stupid…..stupid is as stupid reads
Read my 2:22…sorry, not slow, dumb nor stuck on stupid…what’s in a word? Yeah we know that. However, not saying or an admission of a SO is even more foul. Only a dummy will give you the girlfriend experience, breaking you off a bit of azz when you can’t even tell or explain who or what she is to you. Better yet, when you ain’t reciprocating the same. Folks love to conviently play dumb when it’s to their advantage. Sorry though, I’m not a slow chick. I don’t do nothing on words spoken or not. Heck, you can make your mouth call me your girlfriend just for the sake of…..

Dan

May 1st, 2009
2:32 pm

@Foots

That’s my momma, she grown, she do what she want to….now if dude get to ackin bad, he’ll get the “ackright” from the D.

@Red

Kinda dude I am, if she need the title, I’m happy to give it to her/accept it from her. H3llz we can go get the Ric Flair belt recreated if that’s what she wants to do.

If I’m in it with her, I’m in it.

@Lurker

Folks get duped when they expect the sex to lead to something more, without clearly stating the conditional nature of the sex. If you are tacitly expecting me to be your “man” just because “we’ve had sex four times”, and I don’t get the memo, that’s on you.

Just like it’s on a man that pays for drinks, pays for dates, pays for outings without ever having the courage to define his intentions for spending time (and money) on said female. funny, I never hear much dissent when a dude get caught out trickin from the ladies….

On this version of it, Truth and I agree, if you state your conditions for sex, time, money, affection, attention, whatever, I reserve the right to decline the offer on those conditions without a counteroffer.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:32 pm

Now I have kissed a guy or two that I did not consider to be a boyfriend. One kiss does not a boyfriend make.

Keep up Raqi, I was talking about calling it a date.

I’ll kiss after a first date.

But not after a “hanging out” session or whatever they call that crap.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
2:33 pm

Amazon you would be surprise how many girls are smashing him and his friend and someone else. If they are willing to sex-text their tushy to a guy know he will share it with his friend who will share with their friends..why ever in the world would they think they were exclusively dating?

Look know the rules and regs up front. Are we a couple or a couple of people going out? Are we in a working relationship? or working on a relationship? or just working it out? If you tell someone up front..look now I am not in this to be with you long term lets just date and see how it goes..you have the option to push the heck on or stick around for the fireworks. But atleast you had fair warning up front.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
2:33 pm

Lioness West Indian????- shoooot, that even better! Can i get some oxtails and curry rice, please?

I guess sushi for lunch is old news now! Guuurl, you have peeked my palate with that one!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:34 pm

If I’m in it with her, I’m in it.

Dan – Ahh I see. So the “justbe” situation is for the girls who are dumb enough to accept it as that.

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

May 1st, 2009
2:35 pm

Did someone say apple jolly ranchers you are singing my song! :smile:

Kym, Foots and Red are dropping some real ish! Keep it going ladies!

Lioness what you drinking tonight? :wink:

Raqi I am not sure we can relate business titles and what comes with those titles to personal relationship titles! But you are one bad mami!
:wink:

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
2:37 pm

Okay just the same, I have kissed a guy and we were not on a date. I was actually on a “date” with someone else at the time.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:37 pm

Amazon you would be surprise how many girls are smashing him and his friend and someone else.

Kym, I know I would be.

And I’m with you with knowing the rules and regs up front. So necessary.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:38 pm

Okay just the same, I have kissed a guy and we were not on a date. I was actually on a “date” with someone else at the time.

:lol:

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:40 pm

Kym, Foots and Red are dropping some real ish! Keep it going ladies!

Coogs – I’m losing steam. I’m reading this back and forth and all I can really think right now is “what cowards our men have become.”

I tell my Dad (a real man) this stuff and he just shakes his head. He wants better for me.

DuShawn

May 1st, 2009
2:40 pm

Like Big Momma used to say “DuShawn, somtimes what you don’t say, says it all.” If a female has to ask a man, where is our relationship going? She already knows the answer.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
2:40 pm

Folks get duped when they expect the sex to lead to something more, without clearly stating the conditional nature of the sex. If you are tacitly expecting me to be your “man” just because “we’ve had sex four times”, and I don’t get the memo, that’s on you.

That’s why I don’t shop at Dummies R Us If I never get laid again, I don’t buy that crap. Women can’t “expect” sex to lead anywhere….men then shouldn’t “expect sex.” Mighty big balls of you though to expect sex…you don’t expect sex right? I thought you was one of the dudes on here that states you like to be in thingys (can’t say relationship), where a woman is inhibited and cool with letting nature takes it course. You know, just letting it happen and then see where it goes…You “expect” that right….okay, I’m so done with these dudes.

ARedDan – Ahh I see. So the “justbe” situation is for the girls who are dumb enough to accept it as that.

Yeah, as long as I know I ain’t the only looney thinking (right). I thought so.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
2:41 pm

Maybe there should be pre-relationship agreements. Like that You-Tube video. Get your lawyers and hash it out before you get naked, or go out. That why no one has to say..”I told you from the jump we were just(insert whateva here).

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
2:41 pm

Heck if you just want the real of it, I had sex with my husband before we actually had our first official date. However I did not make it a regular occurence. It was one time only. We weren’t just out sexing each other up. No full girlfriend experience until I became the girlfriend.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
2:42 pm

LIONESS I’m so serious!!! You better ask Moca. If any thing around me is Caribbean familiar i do an “new dance” to get to the meal.

Ya’ll can cook!

Dan

May 1st, 2009
2:43 pm

@Red

No, we still “jusus” if (as you stated) SHE wants the title SHE gets it.

So far as I’m concerned the title is as arbitrary as a “#1 Boss” mug.

For some men, a it doesn’t take a title to define behavior, there’s a long lost seldom used word called honor that I choose to use to dictate my actions.

But if SHE needs the title to feel better about us, fine. But at that point, I’ve stated my reason for not handing it out, and if it’s still necessary that’s the sign that 1) she don’t trust me; and 2) she may have some insecurities issues.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
2:44 pm

Like Big Momma used to say “DuShawn, somtimes what you don’t say, says it all.” If a female has to ask a man, where is our relationship going? She already knows the answer. Du I know that’s right since men are territoral they will let you know where you lay I mean stand in their life. I’ve had too many countless pseudo relationships end when I asked where do I stand and the answer was not what I was expecting. life is a contiuning lesson.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
2:45 pm

I’m not defining things to the point of do you like me “yes or no”…yes being the right answer to getting your needs met. Like I said, that’s too easy. I’m simply stating you ain’t really gotta say it but it better be more than apparent. But why not say it (the title) if that’s where you are as a couple? I figure you can’t or won’t because that’s not how you’re rolling.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
2:45 pm

“Like Big Momma used to say “DuShawn, somtimes what you don’t say, says it all.” If a female has to ask a man, where is our relationship going? She already knows the answer.”

No darn where!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:45 pm

So far as I’m concerned the title is as arbitrary as a “#1 Boss” mug. </I.

How sad.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
2:47 pm

My 2:40 should have said “uninhibited”

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:48 pm

and if it’s still necessary that’s the sign that 1) she don’t trust me; and 2) she may have some insecurities issues.

Good grief.

Jedi mind tricks at 11.

I should have just stopped at “run ladies.” Cuz wow. :???:

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
2:49 pm

**Okay you are my gf but I’m treat you like ish but that’s okay because you have the title of GIRLFRIEND**

i’m giving you the gas face on this one!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:50 pm

I’ve had too many countless pseudo relationships end when I asked where do I stand and the answer was not what I was expecting. life is a contiuning lesson.

Amen to that Grace.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
2:50 pm

Remember when it was so simple in grade school you’d write on a piece of paper do you like me check yes or no? LOL

Dan

May 1st, 2009
2:50 pm

@Lurker

I can call a relationship a relationship. I’m not that hung up.

And yes, I do appreciate an uninhibited woman that kicks with me sexually. But here’s where you jumped waaay off track.

I don’t expect sex, I’m not looking for it, heck I’m the dude that likes for women to approach.

The thing that all that ^^^ has in common is that I don’t expect anything, I want a woman to do what she is comfortable doing. If in the course of our relationship SHE feels more comfortable with a “title” than without one, fine. If SHE doesn’t require it, neither do I.

I’m not the dude chasing a female, I simply don’t have the time. But if we hanging out, in an exclusively committed relationship, engaging in sexual congress, or not – me spending time with her is just that.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
2:51 pm

Lol @ “Cuz wow”.

You have to shake your head, or tilt your head when you say that.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:53 pm

Okay you are my gf but I’m treat you like ish but that’s okay because you have the title of GIRLFRIEND

I missed whoever said that Angie. So thanks.

And yes, what a RIDICULOUS line of thinking. Who said such a thing?

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
2:54 pm

You have to shake your head, or tilt your head when you say that.

Ceemeeli – Trust me I am. What has happened to our “men?”

Grace

May 1st, 2009
2:56 pm

Dan But if we hanging out, in an exclusively committed relationship, engaging in sexual congress, or not – me spending time with her is just that. – sounds kinda lazy to me. You’re reaping the rewards but don’t want to justify/solidify the cause.

Dan

May 1st, 2009
2:57 pm

Knew that was coming…

So, ms Red, you don’t engage in “relations” with a man that is not committed to you. You don’t feel as if he should expect or even desire that until the relationship has been “defined”. And I applaud you for those standards.

But there are those that do not have those conditions regarding “relations”, there are those that can “jusbe” and it’s all good. And I applaud them for their standards.

When I sign up to spend time with a woman, I like to get all that out in the open so I know what I’m dealing with. I am perfectly content in “whatsoever state [that I find myself] in”, I know the conditions, and it’s on me to agree to them or not.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
2:58 pm

It’s Friday and when i went to Orient Express for lunch i realized if it’s gonna rain. I’m still gonna laugh and enjoy tonight.

So all the “Jedi” blog discuss is not acquiescence to my mood.

:smile:

Dan

May 1st, 2009
2:58 pm

Okay so, before I go,

Would one of you ladies care to enlighten this “21st century man” as to how this thing is supposed to work?

For Real

May 1st, 2009
2:59 pm

Ared: “Why does it have to give you something?” – If a title doesn’t have to give you something why ask for it? – “But it gives clarity for one.” – Clarity to whom? If you dude said you are exclusive, who needs the clarity? – “An exclusive relationship with the potential to lead to marriage.” – That’s not the definition of commitment and don’t tell me that’s your definition because that’s how ebonics got started. Commitment: a: an agreement or pledge to do something in the future ; especially : an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date b: something pledged c: the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled – “I fear for you. Close your windows” – Dayumm two in a row one more you will earn yourself an earmuffintectomy. – “Stop being dramatic.” – That was funny too but earmuffintectomy funny. – “Yes, treating someone well is imporatant, but also important is for both parties to be getting what they want out of the relationship.” – So if your are getting the “potential of marriage” you cool? Also, how does the 80/20 rule work for if you believe in it (I don’t)? – “No one is talking about dating ONLY to get married.” – Then why do you date? I date to meet people that I can grow and learn from but then I have been extremely blessed in the dating world. Nooooo Ared I’m not talking about that this time. You so nasty…

Foots: “However, we don’t live in a world with just the two of us. If we did, there would be no need for titles.” – Sooooo, you saying the titles are for the rest of world right? If so, why haven’t you invited me over to watch a love sections between the two of you? You know I still make flyers. We can charge an admission and sell DVDs. I’m sorry I was thinking of $$$$ and got side tracked…. But again, WHY do you feel the need to tell EVERYONE that’s he is your boyfriend. WHY do I have to know this precious piece of information? What’s in it for me? – “You don’t do relationships, you’re both single friends, and you call her to kick it when the mood strikes. Don’t call it what it’s not.” – Not true, I said I don’t want to be married nor do I want a girlfriend. Anytime you are involved with another person a relationship is established. I make commitments (hey Ared) to her that I keep and she makes commitments to me that she keeps. BAM!! Relationship!! – “So should we bypass your posts about what we should do in ours?” – HAHA good one…. But my point is recognize where an opinion is coming from when it’s given. Unhappy people don’t give happy advice. I’m happy so here’s a monkey foot for you. – “And yes, she’s backing away” – Well like I said in my post you termed my bio, that’s the way my relationship go. When they do not want what I’m offering we part as friends. Life is no where near as complicated as rocket science. But we cool like that we talk about a variety topics because I trust her and she trust me. Kinda like you trust me not to tell everyone about us playing Leap the Monkey Foot and those 37,125 you fell on the foot.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:00 pm

So, ms Red, you don’t engage in “relations” with a man that is not committed to you. You don’t feel as if he should expect or even desire that until the relationship has been “defined”.

On what page did I say this?

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:01 pm

When I sign up to spend time with a woman-Dan there’s a sign up sheet!?! j/k

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:01 pm

- sounds kinda lazy to me. You’re reaping the rewards but don’t want to justify/solidify the cause.

Grace – You’ve just hit the nail on the head of 21st century dating.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
3:02 pm

Dan the only true answer? Whatever works best for you and yours.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:02 pm

For Real – I realized that your response to me probably has some substance, but I’m not going to wade thru all that mish mushed paragraph to get to it.

At the end of the day, it’s working for you, it works for me. :D

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
3:03 pm

What in the heck is up with this Monkey foot?

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:05 pm

that’s the way my relationship go – Ah Ha! so you do have a lable/title

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
3:05 pm

**What has happened to our “men?”** nothing. i like how they do them. men only do what they can get away with. it’s your fault if you come out of it with the short end of the stick.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:05 pm

that was for For Real

lurker

May 1st, 2009
3:05 pm

Dan Dan Dan….love, honey, sweetums…Okay, let’s say I’m a chick that’s good rolling with sexing but not comfortable making the first the first time. Soooo, at this point it’s been 6 – 9 months and looks like we’re dating indefinitely (let’s say 6 – 9 months)? Since you don’t expect anything, we’re just gonna hang out, even though we’re “feeling” each other, the timing is on point, the vibe between us is just flowing….you ain’t gonna act on it to a least see if it’s right in taking to the next level? ‘Member you ain’t expecting nothing, so it’s never come up….although we’re seriously feeling it. Oh and we ain’t officially been labeled, we’ve just been doing everything together like an exclusive couple for the last 6 – 9 months. You’re good just being Dan the man?

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:06 pm

I’m wondering too Raqi I do know about monkey bread though :)

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:06 pm

I mean, I really can’t get over this ish. EVERY OTHER relationship in her life is defined yet because she wants her relationship to be she’s insecure or has trust issues.

Just rich.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
3:07 pm

@Beautiful, my post went somewhere. Everyone here speaks their mind. Not all agree with my line of thinking or my beliefs. However, just about EVERYONE here has approached me with civility. If you choose not to do that, then it’s on you. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings, doubt you can do that. I don’t want you to ever hold back if you have something you want to say to me…just remember once you attack I’ll be coming back with both barrels c o c k e y e d!

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
3:07 pm

Cee- I LOVE to cook!!

I go to publix and yall damn near on pg 5.. Goodness!

Cougar- I am probably gonna have some Grey Goose Pear with a splash of cranberry..

I never understood how/why females send dudes pics of their na na or bootay.. Puzzling!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:08 pm

i like how they do them. men only do what they can get away with. it’s your fault if you come out of it with the short end of the stick

Angie – I hope one day you raise your standards. You are right that men can only do what you allow them too. But there is a different brand of men from yesteryear, and I for one would like the bar to be raised just a little bit.

Because the ones demanding excellence will often lose out to the ones who will accept just anything.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
3:10 pm

:lol: oh my…I meant c o c k e d!

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
3:10 pm

@LEGGS
just drop it! this back & forth is tiresome.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:10 pm

Don’t worry about hurting my feelings, doubt you can do that.

Okay? But what a threat. :lol:

i'm swiss

May 1st, 2009
3:10 pm

Howdy, blog fam… I’m waaaaay late & no time to catch up — but I do have time for a couple of smart-a$$ responses :lol:

Raqi “Why not just get a girlfriend?” — Maybe the “girlfriend experience” is cheaper than an actual girlfriend? ;-) :lol:

Cee — Thanks for the metaphor du jour, and if you need a Valet for your “boyfriend experience” — well, I am in the job market:lol:

Speaking of which, I’m out — got another interview in a bit. Starting to get some traction in the ol’ job hunt, so things are looking up. Everyone have a great weekend…

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
3:11 pm

LOL Grace. He keeps giving out that monkey foot. I was wondering if he got ‘em on sale at Targets and what purpose do they serve.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:12 pm

Men like Dan are happy and content as long as he’s getting what he wants, how do they say it? “buy the cow when they’re getting the milk for free” and lawd forbid the woman asks where/what direction are they going. Being unaccountable for his actions because as soon as the woman questions his moves he’s throw it in her face saying “we’re not in a relationship” we’re just being

Dan

May 1st, 2009
3:13 pm

@Lurker

Yepper.

Until such time that a question is asked or situation presents itself that either of us feel the need to stamp a label on it- I’m just Dan, we just chillin, and its all good.

Y’all have a good one

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
3:13 pm

**I hope one day you raise your standards** this doesn’t fit in your post so i tossed it out for you.

i’m still single since late 2004, so that tells me that my standards are good.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:15 pm

i’m still single since late 2004, so that tells me that my standards are good.

That doesn’t mean jack ish. It’s all about what treatment you’ll accept, single or not.

You’re strange.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:16 pm

I don’t know Raqi but when I think of a monkey I think of them running up trees – monkey feet are good for hanging/crabbing on to things :D

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
3:17 pm

Ared- You’re strange.- you hit the nail on the head with THAT one!

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:18 pm

You’re strang – LMBOFOTFR!!!! Amazon woman you always make my day :D

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:19 pm

Dang woman I can’t even type, you made me spill drink all over my key board :D

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
3:19 pm

Tazzee are you still hanging around?

Dan

May 1st, 2009
3:20 pm

@Grace

That’s absolutely a mischaracterization of what I’ve written all day.

If we in a relationship and I:

am faithful to the relationship,
have given you no reason to suspect otherwise,
treat you with the respect that I have for you,
show you, every time we’re together, that I care about you,
(^^^responsiblities/wants/needs taken care of)

and
the only thing missing is a title, then suddenly I’m a “get the milk for free guy?” really?

Then that is what is truly sad about a the women in these times – not knowing what a good thing is when you see it.

And even with that, if the time comes that you it make SHE feel better about a title, I’m with that too….but look **poof** what’s changed?

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:21 pm

:lol:

Maybe it’s on purpose. Like candid camera. She’s our candid blogger, just here to confuse and befuddle us. :lol:

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
3:21 pm

I have no problem dropping it, but it’s only fair, at least in my book, that I respond to statements made to or about me.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
3:22 pm

Raqi yep – just got out of a meeting and all caught up. Please explain why you won’t be able to blog with us when the baby is sleep? ;-)

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
3:22 pm

Swissie Thanks for the offer…but. My “boyfriend experience” is very satisfiying right now. And nope, not just “happy” because i have a man either! I’m talking ’bout THE TRUTH!

I’m in your Valet club….”where i’m not only a client but very close to the President.”

Don’t get me started on this Friday!!!

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
3:23 pm

If labels and titles are really no big deal Dan why do you men have a problem with a woman attaching one to you or you all’s relationship?

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:24 pm

show you, every time we’re together, that I care about you Dan – what about when we’re not together?

Then that is what is truly sad about a the women in these times – not knowing what a good thing is when you see it Dan I know bs when I see it. what’s sad is men think that woman is supposed to go along with anything a man sells her just so she can say she “got a man” That’s sad. If you’re going to do something do it not half arse do it – just do it.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:27 pm

Lioness – Where are you going on vacay?!

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
3:28 pm

**It’s all about what treatment you’ll accept, single or not**

exactly. if i went on and dated joe blow or the married guy, i would be lowering my standards tremendously. not being exclusive or wanting marriage is a no go in my book. i know what i want. you know what you want. even though our standards are diff, they are still good cause everyone’s wish list will not be the same.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:28 pm

My question Dan to you – why go thru all the motions and not call it for what it is? I’m not here to judge you or change your mind, clearly it’s made up and this is something you’ve been practicing for some time now and have willing participants as well.

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
3:29 pm

OH i forgot my duties

Swissie Ah, is may damsel card is good? Lol…I need an escort.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:30 pm

even though our standards are diff, they are still good cause everyone’s wish list will not be the same.

Someone please get this chick.

Is the blog bar open? :lol:

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
3:31 pm

**My “boyfriend experience” is very satisfiying right now.**

i’m happy for you CEE. :o )

Foots

May 1st, 2009
3:32 pm

For Real I’m of the “okay, whatever” mindset at this point. If you don’t want to use titles, then don’t. You certainly don’t need to because you give no one a title. But don’t hate on me because I do.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:34 pm

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:37 pm

here’s a pinkitini Amazon no gulping it’s very potent :D

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
3:37 pm

@AMAZON
so your standards are the same as mine? i think not!

Thirdwheelofconfusion

May 1st, 2009
3:38 pm

It’s funny that this topic is brought up today. Earlier in the week I have a huge fight with the person I am seeing. We have been seeing each other for 3 months and I got made because he won’t change his facebook status to in a relationship. It still says single. Then he tells me he does not want to be in a committed relationship because he is leaving the state in 6 months. But yet he calls me all the time wants to hang out, celebrate our month annivasrays, pay for expensive gifts, sex whenever and if I have plans I am suppose to dump them and hang out with him. I like him a lot but I am starting to get fed up because I want a serious relationship. Am I the dumb one for staying?

DuShawn

May 1st, 2009
3:39 pm

Women’s position on this subject should not come as a surprise. The same way little boys are subliminally programmed not to cry, show emotion and to be tough. Little girls are programmed to one day be a bride, have a wedding and a family. That mindset is reinforced through societal pressures and the teachings of their foremothers. As I was growing up, I often heard my mother tell my sister about wasting time in relationships that weren’t moving in the “right direction”. Surprisingly, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. If it were not for the persistence of women, a lot of families wouldn’t be together today. The genders will never agree on this issue. When a female tells her girlfriends she just got engaged, they all say congratulations! When a dude shares the news with his friends, they all say, “You sure you want to do this?”. Therein lies the difference.

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
3:39 pm

Girl don’t you know I am 41 years old? This little bean sprout don’t even like me now, you think she is going to let me rest when she gets here? LOL I’ll probably peek every now and then. But not like right after she is born. Imma need my sleep.

I wanted to tell you while Mason and I were out walking last night he was telling about an accident he witnessed yesterday morning and the situation was the blinking stop lights that you despise so much. He was on the red side with one car ahead of him and there were a few cars across from him on the red. It is a pretty busy area and one side on the yellow has a bit of a blind spot. Most of the cars that approached treated the stop as a four way stop. He said as he and a car across from him attempted to take their turn when it looked clear a car came speeding thru the yellow light and hit the car across from him. It was a blind spot and the car on the other red side did not see him coming.
If everyone treated the out lights as a four way then accidents like that could be avoided. If not you can find yourself sitting there forever because you don’t know if a car is going to come up and not stop.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:39 pm

so your standards are the same as mine? i think not!

Angie – No, thank goodness. But as usual, you missed the point.

Grace, that pinktini is RIGHT on time! ;)

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:41 pm

<i<I like him a lot but I am starting to get fed up because I want a serious relationship. Am I the dumb one for staying?

Thirdwheel – If you want a SERIOUS relationship (your words) and he does not want a committed relationship (his words). Then you are dumb for staying if you know you’re not going to get what you want out of the relationship.

Sorry.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:43 pm

When a female tells her girlfriends she just got engaged, they all say congratulations! When a dude shares the news with his friends, they all say, “You sure you want to do this?”. Therein lies the difference.

Aw…:lol:

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
3:44 pm

@Thirdwheelofconfusion = you’re kidding right. Someone earlier today said “we don’t listen!” How can you not hear him saying “he doesn’t want a relationship” and then ask are you dumb for staying! Oh, I get it, you’re trying to start something up in here. You put in there 3 months (90 day rule taken care of), expensive gifts, etc. You’re trying to start some trouble!

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
3:45 pm

I never understood how/why females send dudes pics of their na na or bootay.. Puzzling!”

NOw see, if i wasn’t laughing so hard. I might could take a stab at the answer.

Lioness Did it come by-way a text, or on a space page.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:46 pm

3rdwheel…with all that I’ve read you’re certinaly not happy with your situation and you clearly want to bump it up to another level. You said he’s expressed that he does not want a relationship, is that with you or with anyone. Please do yourself and your sanity a favor and wean yourself away from him. You’ve invested way too much time and emotions on someone who has told you he’s not willing to reciprocate them back to you.

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
3:46 pm

@THIRD
it’s over in six months. ummm, just have fun and take it as is. i feel for you. good luck!

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:49 pm

why should she have “fun” with her feelings? geeez

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:50 pm

it’s over in six months. ummm, just have fun and take it as is

Angie – I’m not trying to be mean snide or attack you in any way, but I have a question. Pretend a blogger you actually like asked this question so you don’t have to feel defensive while reading.

Why would you advise someone to just “have fun and take it as is” when they desire to be in a serious relationship? Wouldn’t you think that person is selling themselves short and perhaps missing out in meeting the “right one” while hanging with a guy who has no desire to be in a relationship?

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:51 pm

why should she have “fun” with her feelings? geeez

I think I love you, Grace. :lol:

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
3:51 pm

my standards aren’t set that high were no man can’t reach them. they are very realistic and molded for today’s man.

going to get my hair done, then to the mall. jcpenny’s is having a sale on jeans . . . 75% off!

bye ladies!

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
3:53 pm

Ared- Vegas.. Hot azz Vegas..

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
3:53 pm

@ARed, you shouldn’t have started your post with “I’m not trying” ~ that made me laugh!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:53 pm

my standards aren’t set that high were no man can’t reach them. they are very realistic

Well what do you know, Angie and I do have something in common. :D

Grace

May 1st, 2009
3:54 pm

there are things you just don’t play with – whatever happened to having a conscience?

5^^^Amazon

Raqi

May 1st, 2009
3:56 pm

molded for today’s man

Beautiful please elaborate on that Monday. Your standards are your standards and men just like women come in many different varieties.

Beautiful

May 1st, 2009
3:57 pm

@AMAZON
obviously THIRD ain’t going anywhere. she’s gonna stay with dude up until he leaves. i’m just stating the obvious. nowhere in her post did she mention leaving. so since she is going to stay, she should make the best of it.

i guarantee you she already knows what to do.

Wise Diva

May 1st, 2009
3:58 pm

@ Raqi “Okay just the same, I have kissed a guy and we were not on a date. I was actually on a “date” with someone else at the time.” <– how does that even happen and can I get a tutorial? LOL!! Just kiddin

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
3:58 pm

Cee- LMAO!! I have YET to receive a text with a bdy part in it BUT I do have associates that have received them right after meeting a dude.. Never understod how a person feels so comfortable with sending explicit pics of their secret places.. An assciate of mine used to send her MARRIED friend with benefits pics of her na na ALL THE TIME.. :(

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
3:59 pm

@Amazon did someone say bar. Happy 4 days before Cinco De Mayo Friday!!! Mangorita anyone?

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
3:59 pm

please elaborate on that Monday

See, that girl doesn’t know where is up and down. I asked earlier that what happened to our men and she says “nothing.” Yet, her standards are molded from “today’s man” which must be different than yesterday’s man. One would think.

I need another pinktini.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:00 pm

obviously THIRD ain’t going anywhere. she’s gonna stay with dude up until he leaves.

Angie –

How do you know this? Even your silly ass caught a clue and left. Why can’t she?

I do agree that that she already knows what she needs to do. But no harm in asking.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
4:01 pm

Tag team Big Red and Grace…lol

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:01 pm

Oooh…ass got by the blog wizard. :lol:

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
4:04 pm

Oooh…ass got by the blog wizard.

Diva must be drinking as well :)

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:05 pm

Have you guys noticed that 3rdWheel hasn’t come back on!

Thanks Raqi, because I was thinking shouldn’t your standards be molded to what you want in life and what you will and will not accept, not molded to “today’s man!?!”

Grace

May 1st, 2009
4:05 pm

“nowhere in her post did she mention leaving.” …….Um Beautiful “Am I the dumb one for staying?”

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
4:07 pm

Third- you know the rules in advance. Now if you choose to play you are already aware of the outcome of the game. So play fair and nice. If you don’t like the game.. don’t try to change the rules..Pick a new game. Might I suggest Cranium?

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
4:09 pm

Kym- LMAO!!!

JtJ

May 1st, 2009
4:10 pm

Hey Ya’ll……………………I couldn’t help but to post! I usuallu try to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t today…..

BEAUTIFUL is one-contradictory, talking-out-the-side-of her neck, CRAZY HEFFA! Girl, I swear you say some off-the-wall stuff that just don’t make no sense! You always be talking about how you want to married again yet you say there is nothing wrong with MEN today and then you just advised a girl to stay in a relationship that ain’t going nowhere until it ends in 6 months- WHAT??????????????????????????????? I JUST GIVE UP!!!!

lurker

May 1st, 2009
4:12 pm

Third…if you gotta ask you already know. Why would you label your moniker as confusing? He seems like he’s stated his position. Actually, I can actually respect your person you’re seeing for not stringing you along. If you feel you’ve invested feelings and what not, can’t change that now….move on. If you continue to oblige and provide “girlfriend services”, it’s on you. No matter how much you continue to be at his beckon call and fulfill girlfriend duties…if he don’t wanna he ain’t gonna.

Wise Diva

May 1st, 2009
4:12 pm

*dead* at JtJ’s ENTIRE post

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
4:12 pm

@JtJ glad to know it is not just me. Here Have a Blancotini..(this one is from Steel–good drink)

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:12 pm

JOKE: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend????

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:13 pm

Pick a new game. Might I suggest Cranium?

:lol:

Wise Diva

May 1st, 2009
4:13 pm

Lioness where are you going for vacay? I want to go! I can’t go to Mexico for my annual trip (obviously) and I’m bummed!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:14 pm

glad to know it is not just me.

I am also glad about this.

I didn’t understand the kids in the special class with the helmets and the sippy cups for a long time either. :lol: Then I just had to realize that everyone is special in their own way! :D

lurker

May 1st, 2009
4:14 pm

Ya’ll don drove Angie crazy…

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
4:15 pm

An assciate of mine used to send her MARRIED friend with benefits pics of her na na ALL THE TIME.

LIONESS Daaaaaaang! WTH???

Guuuuurl. Come, have a dranky, drank, with my crew tonight. And “pour out a lil” for your folks that rollin’ like that!

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:16 pm

JOKE: What’s the best way to keep fish from smelling?

(I’m eating popsicles at my desk and the sticks have jokes on them).

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:17 pm

Oh and JtJ, don’t be fooled. Angie was never married, she likes to think she was.

JtJ

May 1st, 2009
4:19 pm

@ Kym, Girl, I am usually an Amaretto Sour person, but hell I’ll take it today!!! Thanks

I couldn’t help it. I have read her in the past and shw just don’t make sense. Some people need to stay single and may be she one of them. She make some off-base comments, just like she grabbed them out of the clouds, and then she tries to debate people like she makes sense!

Lord, forgive me for name callin’, I just couldn’t hold my mule!!!!!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:19 pm

Ya’ll don drove Angie crazy…

Don’t blame that on us!

She might drive me there tho!

Grace

May 1st, 2009
4:19 pm

Leggs by giving her a ring?

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
4:20 pm

@lurker Drove?? She was on the damn bullet train long before this blog. What is that Ron White says.. You can’t fix stupid. Stupid is forever.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:20 pm

Come on now, ARed! You just reminded me of Brandi’s (the singer)mock wedding, or rather “committed ceremony” a few years back. That was funny!

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
4:21 pm

Raqi Just got out of another meeting. The thing with the yellow vs. red flashing lights is, usually, the street flashing yellow is a busier street and the flashing red is the side street. It makes no sense for that to be a 4-way stop. The guy on the red side can’t go until they know it’s clear. On the other hand, the yellow is to proceed with caution, so no one should go speeding down the street.

Imagine if there was a flashing light at Peachtree (busy street) and Pine – you have a car that approaches Pine every 30 seconds with one approaching Peachtree every 5 seconds. Peachtree would be backed up from 5 Points to doggone Buckhead at that stop. Add in the folks on Peachtree that stop even when there are no cars coming on Pine and it’s a freaking MESS!

hate that an accident had to occur though…

Leggs You gotta answer the first joke before giving us another LOL.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:21 pm

Ding, ding, ding! You’re absolutely right, Ms. Grace. Can you answer the second joke?

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:22 pm

She make some off-base comments, just like she grabbed them out of the clouds,

I’m also from Cali, where she is right now. They have drugs out there. They make you see things. :lol:

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
4:23 pm

@JtJ The drink at Steel is made with white cranberry juice..it was very good. I shall have to go back for that..food was so-so.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:24 pm

You got a good point there, Tazzee!

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 1st, 2009
4:26 pm

CEMEELI…Girl where are you going tonight?

Grace

May 1st, 2009
4:27 pm

Leggs I would say by taking monostate but I know that’s not the fish smell you’re talking about….so I’ll say putting it back in the water?

lurker

May 1st, 2009
4:28 pm

BigRed>Don’t blame that on us! She might drive me there tho!

Kym@lurker Drove?? She was on the damn bullet train long before this blog. What is that Ron White says.. You can’t fix stupid. Stupid is forever.

I was already laughing…now ya’ll got me rolling…LOL

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:28 pm

Wrong…but you’re on the right path. The answer is corny, but you’re on the right path!

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
4:29 pm

I’m tired of getting picked-on when i go to places with my friends and err’body is drinking except me. Then the guys always wanna buy the non-drinking chic about 15 fruity drinks.

And then talk about cha’ when you sippin on puréed strawberries and orange juice.

I’ma surprise ‘em all and order a sparkling lava. They’ll be thinking its some new thang. They always got sumthin to say.

JtJ

May 1st, 2009
4:29 pm

I have enjoyed reading you all trying to figure out why it is so difficult to give a significant woman in their life the appropriate title. I can’t figure it out, either. If a woman does all the things that are typial girlfriend behaviors, then give her the title she deserves. I can dig honesty up front though. If you don’t want a girlfriend or wife, just say it and make sure we are both on the same page as to “what we are”.

……..sneaking back off before IT catch me blogging again…..Good Day Folks!

GO BOSTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lurker

May 1st, 2009
4:30 pm

JtJShe make some off-base comments, just like she grabbed them out of the clouds, and then she tries to debate people like she makes sense!

OOOOMMMMGGGG…that one made me laugh out loud…literally. I have seen that happening sooo many times but try to show a bit of empathy. Well, I’ve concluded…she’s just special in her own special way.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:30 pm

I certainly agree w/you Tazzee, but for the sake of time, I’m posting my last joke (no more icees) before the 2nd one is answered :lol:

JOKE: What do windows bring when they go out in the sun?

Grace

May 1st, 2009
4:30 pm

putting it on the poach?

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:34 pm

@Cemeeli, just order a “shirley temple” and when they start laughing just tell them it keeps you young at heart!

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
4:34 pm

Staceye – I’m going to “THE SPOT”. Usually “the spot” it’s something close by the neighborhood that you see all the locals.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
4:35 pm

@ Lurker See ya’ll like to hold and cuddle crazy folks, bless they heart. I like the direct no chaser, this is some foolishness, call craziness on the carpet method. Then you bless crazy people path and send them on their way.

Jamoca

May 1st, 2009
4:35 pm

Just peeking in…

Leggs – By feeding it less yeast?…lol

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:35 pm

Thirdwheel – You should buy Steve Harvey’s book.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:35 pm

Sorry, wrong answer! Even though I don’t know what that means?

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:36 pm

Sorry, Jamoca, no blog prize for you either! Remember the answer is CORNY!!!!!

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
4:36 pm

Cee- She is NOT someone I deal with AT ALL!! LOL! Tell me where yall are hanging tonight and I will come & have a drink :) michellecamille@live.com

Wise- I am going to Vegas for 5 days hopefully to just relax.. I really want to go to the Dominican Republic & Puerto Rico but I will leave that for my birthday month :)

JtJ- THANK YOU JESUS!!

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:36 pm

Cemeeli, I looking for a place to have a few drinks, but my spot is boring as watching cheese melt!

Grace

May 1st, 2009
4:37 pm

Leggs by putting it on the poach—->poached fish

Jamoca

May 1st, 2009
4:37 pm

Give the answer already, so I can go!…lol

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
4:37 pm

Ared- LMAO @ –> I’m also from Cali, where she is right now. They have drugs out there. They make you see things.

Grace

May 1st, 2009
4:38 pm

by holding his gills Leggs

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:39 pm

You just got on and already demanding the answer. The others may still want to take a stab at answering….do you guys want the answers?

Ok, got it w/the poached fish.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
4:39 pm

You hold the fish’s nose

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
4:39 pm

Thanks Leggs. I’ll look cute with that one!

Jamoca

May 1st, 2009
4:39 pm

Leggs – I’m still trying to figure out the windows joke? No clue…hmmmm

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:40 pm

See ya’ll like to hold and cuddle crazy folks, bless they heart. I like the direct no chaser, this is some foolishness, call craziness on the carpet method.

Kym – You know what method I prefer. Sometimes I feel like I’m alone on an island. :( But I must stand up for what I believe.

I don’t blame folks for just giving up and letting her nutty self slide. But if I keep scratching my head, all my hair will fall out. :lol:

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:40 pm

Something along those lines, Ms. Grace!

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
4:40 pm

Leggs you hold it’s nose (the fish that is)

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:40 pm

Ding, ding, ding @ Ms. Kym….you “plug the nose”

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:41 pm

The answer is too easy to give a clue :lol:

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
4:41 pm

Dang Kym beat me to it.

Jamoca

May 1st, 2009
4:41 pm

Yes, I sure did. But dang! You only have three so far, now out with it! lol…and you’ve got me thinking it has something to do with corn now?!?!…hence all the caps…silly, I know. lol

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
4:42 pm

Windows bring shades???

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:42 pm

Sorry, correct answer goes to TAZZEE.

Kym--Living for what passes as the weekend.

May 1st, 2009
4:43 pm

Thanks Leggs. Now if I could win a piece of this big lotto money like that.

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:43 pm

What do windows bring when they go out in the sun?

shades.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:43 pm

Technically Tazzee answered both correctly.

Ms. Kym said “hold” it’s nose!

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
4:43 pm

Ared- LMAO @ your hair will fall out!!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:43 pm

Dang it Tazzee! You beat me.

Jamoca

May 1st, 2009
4:44 pm

Awww phooey…lol, no good am I at these…

lurker

May 1st, 2009
4:44 pm

Kym
Lurker See ya’ll like to hold and cuddle crazy folks, bless they heart. I like the direct no chaser, this is some foolishness, call craziness on the carpet method. Then you bless crazy people path and send them on their way.
BigRedKym – You know what method I prefer. Sometimes I feel like I’m alone on an island. But I must stand up for what I believe. I don’t blame folks for just giving up and letting her nutty self slide. But if I keep scratching my head, all my hair will fall out.

I am soooo done with you two…ya’ll get the “laugh” awards for the day. I know right…we need to keep crazy as boxed in as possible.

Jamoca

May 1st, 2009
4:46 pm

You all enjoy your weekends!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:46 pm

LMAO @ your hair will fall out!!

I just got it done too. It smells good!

lurker

May 1st, 2009
4:46 pm

I needed those laughs cause imma tear a hole in my daughter’s frame when I leave today….tweenagers makes me sick sometimes…gheesh

mytw♥cents

May 1st, 2009
4:46 pm

RELL I hope you have a lovely weekend too. If you think me self righteous all I can say is Whoopsie, cuz that ain’t the intent. But if you consider the content maybe you’ll see I’m only sayin purge the old if you’re gonna live in the new. Or maybe not. Anyhoo…

LIONESS Where ya goin? We were gonna book Cabo just a week or so ago, but alas…

RAQI Please hand me a Coca-Cola classic.

Have a fab weekend everybody!

JtJ

May 1st, 2009
4:46 pm

Quick Question: Are any you ladies hangin out this weekend? I need to get out and enjoy myself. I been working too hard.

Closing browser again………………………

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
4:46 pm

Leggs- How many popsicles have you eaten? LOL!

lurker

May 1st, 2009
4:47 pm

Not really…just expressing how mad I am…

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
4:47 pm

Oh – Sorry guys. I’m only going to Ultimate. IT’s booked now. NO more resevations taken.

next time.

DuShawn

May 1st, 2009
4:47 pm

Ladies, if yall looking for a new happy hour spot. Cafe Sabor right across from Centinnial Park, dowtown every Friday 5 to 8. Sponsored by Bruh Doug Stewart “From Two Live Stews” and the rest of the Ques. Free buffet first drink free. It’s a nice vibe.

lurker

May 1st, 2009
4:49 pm

MyTwo should add Angie to the list of crazies when requesting questions/comments/stories from the trolls in making a lively day.

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:49 pm

I too am looking for somewhere to hang out! ARed taught me not to ask on a Friday cuz most singles already have their weekend planned. I’m new at this. I remembered her saying this around 4:15 :lol:

Anybody over by O’Charley’s off LaVista. That’s where my first stop will be!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:49 pm

Are any you ladies hangin out this weekend?

Always. Though I’m bummed cuz I wanted to go to this particular spot tonight after work up in Perimeter, but my friends out that way can’t go. So I guess I’m hanging out back on the southside unless I roll solo!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:51 pm

Cafe Sabor right across from Centinnial Park, dowtown every Friday 5 to 8.

That’s where I had my birthday party.

Leggs, I’ll call you. Don’t leave work yet. See my 4:49

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
4:52 pm

I’ve eaten 3. I always keep icees or popsicles in the fridge here at work. Hell, I’m known to bring my snowcone machine to work and sell icees! Yep!

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
4:53 pm

Ared- I work @ the Ravinia across from Perimeter Mall.. Let m eknow next time and I could meet you :)

My two- going to Vegas on the 25th.. No sand on that trip but LOTS f drinks :)

Cemeeli

May 1st, 2009
4:54 pm

Alres – is so not a good owner of his restaurant and baber shops. He don’t care who he hire! As long as they work and are hip-hop savvy.

ugh!

JtJ

May 1st, 2009
4:54 pm

Leggs… You and Ared….hit me up…..shoot , i wanna go too. I will e-mail you Leggs……

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
4:54 pm

Leggs- LMAO!!!

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:55 pm

I work @ the Ravinia across from Perimeter Mall.. Let m eknow next time and I could meet you

You’re my new best friend. There are several spots up that way I love. I just live on the other side of town so I like to go from work.

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
4:55 pm

JtJ- My email address is on this page.. Holla

AmazonRed™

May 1st, 2009
4:56 pm

JtJ – That’s a plan. Leggs knows how to find me. Your 4:10 showed me you’re cool peeps!

JtJ

May 1st, 2009
4:58 pm

Lioness….I can’t see anyone’s e-mail address on her…???????????

Also, what about tomorrow night????

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
4:58 pm

DuShawn I’ve been trying to get to Cafe Sabor, last Friday I was out of town and today the Stews are out of town.

JtJ you should try to make it to the My Black is Beautiful conference tomorrow at the Cobb Galleria. I know it’s not ‘hanging out’ hanging out but its sure to be a good time and its FREE.

Have a great weekend all!

JtJ

May 1st, 2009
4:58 pm

Thanks, Tazzee. I just may go there!!

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

May 1st, 2009
4:59 pm

OK last post Lioness I’m at Perimeter too. Got plans this evening but hit me up next time Tazzee@gmail.com

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
5:03 pm

Ared- Sounds like a plan!! Will give me a reason to go into work on Fridays :)

Tazz- Sounds like a plan :)

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
5:03 pm

Good night everyone! Enjoy the weekend, even the liquid sunshine!

LIONESS- Just Booked My Vacation

May 1st, 2009
5:04 pm

Wise Diva

May 1st, 2009
5:07 pm

Have a WONDERFUL weekend everyone!

Leggs

May 1st, 2009
5:08 pm