accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Archive for May, 2009

Perplexed by the opposite sex

Happy Friday everyone! I had plans for a guest blogger today but we had to postpone for another day. I am fighting a cold and feeling woozy right now. So instead, I am running a post that some of you may have read before, enjoy!

Are there any questions that you always wanted to ask the opposite sex but were too afraid to ask? Or maybe you were too mad, frustrated, or irritated to really articulate a coherant question. Perhaps we can offer each other a little insight into the dating trends, attitudes, or behavior that we have seen, heard, or experienced.

My friend Panama had two doozies to start us off:  Why is it that you all are allowed to be maniacally inconsistent, but when a man does it, it’s a problem?

When you’re mad at me, you can turn your back in the bed, but if i do it…I’m wrong? Why can’t I roll over? If you start showing me your back, I’m going to show you mine.

I have some for the ladies too: Why do ladies sleep with a guy and then try to decipher if he wants a …

Continue reading Perplexed by the opposite sex »

Put your foot down

One of the frustrating things about the dating scene is dealing with disrespect. It seems inevitable that you run into that person who is inconsiderate, inexperienced, or flat out clueless. You would think that the older we get, the less likely we are to meet this type of person. Sadly, that is not always the case and then you have to put your foot down.

If a guy has some bad behavior that is unacceptable to me, I always wonder how he has managed to get away with it. I mean,  all the women he dated never told him when he was being a jerk? Have you ever met or dated someone who was unaware of their bad dating behavior? Did you call them out on it? How did they respond.

Are you guilty of any behaviors that others have called out before? I once had a guy call me out on being late all the time. He finally had to put his foot down and let me know that he wouldn’t tolerate it anymore. So much for being fashionably late! He saw it as disrespectful and he let me know. I quickly …

Continue reading Put your foot down »

Relationship A la Carte

Good Morning everyone! Today’s post is courtesy of our fabulous Raqi. If you are new to the MIA blog, Raqi is a married woman with a bambino on the way. Whenever she comments on relationships I perk up and take notes. She always provides insight about love and marriage without sugar coating things! Her topic today may strike a nerve for some of you but please read what she says carefully then weigh in with your comments!

In my early adult years I would hear of male-female relationships labeled with different terms. Traditional, Modern and Open. Those were considered the relationship combos as far as I am concerned. Today those terms still exist today but to some not in the same context. We have managed to construct relationships in a way that gives the benefit of one term sans the return responsibility.

The relationship a la carte. I, as most of you have read, am a traditionalist in the largest sense. I believe and practice the gender roles in my relationship. But that’s …

Continue reading Relationship A la Carte »

Save some for later

I hope you all had a safe and wonderful holiday! It is so important to remember all our military service personnel and honor those that gave their lives. What did you do this weekend?

Since there was a little rain this weekend, I made a point to watch Love Jones, one of my favorite films, again. Do you remember the scene in Love Jones when Nina and Darius returned home after a date and Nina decided to put him on the couch?  Although they had been intimate before, on their first date, it seemed really important to her that they not sleep together that night. She wanted to “save some for later.”

Ladies, have you ever done that before? What were your reasons? Ever had first date sex regret before? How did you handle it?

Guys, if the mood has been set and things are progressing, what do you think when the woman puts the brakes on the evening? What about first dates, do you usually try to “seal the deal” on the first date? If so, why do you think it’s a good time? Is it about …

Continue reading Save some for later »

Cougar Duty

In an attempt at full disclosure (sort of) of my dating life, I have to confess that yours truly is dating a younger guy. He is a solid 9 years younger than I am! It started out pretty innocently because I had no idea just how young the guy was until our first date. He just looked my age and I was too distracted by his muscles to card him!

After polling my friends for their opinion (sometimes I live my life by committee), I received some interesting advice. It ranged from “give him a chance” to “why not play a little bit with him”, and not one person advised me against it.

An older woman and younger man relationship can bring it’s own unique set of dating issues. Not to mention how some folks think that younger men date older women because they have “Mommy issues”. What do you think? In your opinion what is the prognosis for such relationships?

Guys, have you ever dated an older woman? How much older was she? What attracted you to her? Do you have an age limit to how old you …

Continue reading Cougar Duty »

Is dating in the church a good idea?

Today we have a guest blogger, Stuart McDonald, who offers the male perspective on a topic I think some of us have experienced. Stuart is a newly found Twitter friend so I hope everyone welcomes him warmly!

Sermons, Sex, and Singles

Churches are a great place to meet people. They’re ready-made social environments with events, parties, and plenty of opportunities to hang out with others. There are tons of attractive men and women in church and for the majority, they’re well grounded and know what they want. Seems like a great idea right?

I believe it depends on your approach. Are you coming to church for the sole purpose of chasing some tail, looking for a fling? Are you so obsessed with finding “the one” you can’t think about anything else? Or are you coming to church to fellowship with other believers and deepen your faith?

The goal of the church shouldn’t be to find you a spouse. It should be to grow deeper in your relationship with Christ. If someone special …

Continue reading Is dating in the church a good idea? »

Doing Too Much?

I was reading an article in the June issue of Essence that raised a couple of great questions about single and coupled up women. The article, entitled Body Shop asked how far would/should women go to get a man or please the one they have? Obviously this will vary a great deal from one person to the next.

The article referred to this quest to seek physical and sexual perfection in hopes of landing a man or keeping a man. Some women are taking classes in everything from cooking to pole dancing, to sex lessons to raise their profile on the dating scene. If it can impress a man with one of the tricks/tips they have learned in these classes, it is well worth the investment of money, time, and effort.

I decided that I am pretty much too lazy to be that pressed about getting a man and maybe that is my problem. Am I doing enough to get a man? Should I start enrolling in classes that will make me a soul food cooking, pole swinging, vixen in the bedroom kind of woman that men are drawn …

Continue reading Doing Too Much? »

Protect Me

In his book Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady, Steve Harvey offered some great insight about men and protection:

Encoded in the DNA of the male species is that we are to be the provider and the protector of the family, and everything we do is geared toward ensuring we can make this happen.

This is really interesting to me because I don’t know if men realize how much it impresses a woman when a man seeks to protect her. I am not talking about simple chivalry, here. What I am referring to is that innate sense of protectiveness that men in love have about their women.
How do men show they are willing to protect their women? I think it can be found in subtle ways such as showing concern if she made it home safely. Checking her car for potential issues that may pose a threat. Then the not so subtle ways such as defending her honor, addressing anyone who dares to disrespect her in his presence.
I was sent an interesting quote from our friend “Sexyleggs”:
“A woman should not be …

Continue reading Protect Me »

Nothing Left to Say

Today’s entry is courtesy of one of our wonderful, fabulous readers. I hope she doesn’t mind that I took her topic idea almost in it’s entirety! Check out what “Foots” had to say:

The things that made me love you are the things pushing me away now. – Nothing Left to Say (Mint Condition)

I believe that many desirable and undesirable qualities are flip sides of the same coin.  In their song, they speak of wonderful attentiveness becoming crazy possessiveness.  In my past, I dated a guy who I admired that he was such a good friend and concerned family member and that he kept in touch with his friends/family often.  But part of the reason we broke up was that we never had any time together because he was ALWAYS on the phone taking on other people’s problems.

Here are some others that I have read or seen before:

  • A friend of mine dated a woman and was impressed by her warmth and caring as a mother.  He broke it off because she spent all her time with her …

Continue reading Nothing Left to Say »

No Insecurities Allowed

Today we have a doctor in the house! Dr. Alduan Tartt, is a psychologist, author, and motivational speaker who has a book, The Ring Formula: How To Marry MR. RIGHT. Today, he shares a very interesting scenario that I think a lot of men in Atlanta have probably been in:

You are enjoying a wonderful first date at- SURPRISE- a nice restaurant in the upscale part of town. He opens the door for you and things are going even better than planned and then it happens…

That cute, little waitress who seated the two of you- who already was a little too friendly for your liking in the first place- walks over and makes direct eye contact with your date and tops off his wine while barely even acknowledging you. Mr. Take-Charge-Persona smiles and returns the direct eye contact with Ms. Friendly. It looks like you aren’t the only one who’s in the market for a man with marriage material.

What do you do?

1. Give the waitress a piece of your mind
2. Instruct your date to focus his attention on …

Continue reading No Insecurities Allowed »