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Beside Every Bad Boy

I once read that beside every bad boy is a bad girl. I interpreted this to mean that some men are drawn to the bad girls for the exact same reasons bad boys are so appealing to the ladies: excitement. The allure of excitement translates to passion; and passion can translate to, well a lot of good stuff!

While the excitement can make a bad girl seem intriguing there is a fine line between bad girl and wicked woman. Why are bad girls rarely seen without a man?

Guys, what is your definition of a bad girl? I am not talking about the emotionally unstable creatures or the psycho chicks. The bad girl that I am referring to are the women who have a little edge. How much “bad” can you handle?  Is there a particular edginess that is actually attractive without being a turn off? Have you ever met a woman that just drew you in with her bad girl attitude or behavior? Did you ever have a relationship with a bad girl?

Ladies, is it true that every woman has at least a little bad girl in her? What brings out your bad girl attitude or edginess? How do men respond to it? Are you a reformed bad girl? Was it difficult to break the bad girl habits?

406 comments Add your comment

Raqi

April 29th, 2009
12:17 pm

I thought there was going to be at least 3 pages of comments by the time I returned. LOL To my surprise there isn’t that much to catch up on. Let me read…

Dan

April 29th, 2009
12:18 pm

I wasn’t speaking on a “bad girl” like that,

Let me rephrase the definition to “the bad Woman”.

Now, MO is notorious for giving the Prez his comeuppance subtley but in earnest. All accounts is that she is a sassy professional that takes no guff.

And in every interview with her and him about them, she put him through the wringer to get at her. But once he won her and she gave herself to him – done deal.

She didn’t lose the attitude professionally or personally, and kept him with enough “ackright” to push him (I would say) to where they are today.

In conclusion, Michelle Obama – wife, mother, First Lady, baaaaaad woman

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

April 29th, 2009
12:18 pm

Ared, its not a negative to be called bad in some senses. Someone that sticks to it no matter what is bad, period. She’s bad in that she blazed a new path and did so with swagger and hasnt asked anyone for forgiveness. She’s a bad mutha “shut ya mouf”.

DuShawn

April 29th, 2009
12:20 pm

I think one’s position on this topic is contingent upon their perception and definition of the word “bad”. Although technically, the word has an obvious negative connotation, in today’s vernacular, it’s actually a compliment. Personally, if I see a beautiful, elegant, regal female, I don’t think to myself there goes a righteous woman. I think “dayum, that’s a bad azz chick.” To me, bad doesn’t mean “lacking social graces” or virtue. It means the ability to walk with queens without losing the common touch. Now that’s bad.

lurker

April 29th, 2009
12:20 pm

Beautiful step away from the married dude. Ain’t nothing happening in that scene outside azz swapping. Stay with the unattached. Heck how about I pass a couple your way….was at Mellow Mushroom in Vinings the other night and a “vanilla” dude was pushing hard with the “beautiful georgia peach” line, for which he gets 10 cool points…and more forth coming than the Smyrna cop 30 minutes later “you’re a beautiful sister and I’m sure you hear that a lot, your husband/boyfriend must be proud” line…simply not smooth enough…he tanked any cool points he might have earned for simply not knowing how to “get there”…LOL…yours for the taking if you want

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2009
12:21 pm

Michelle Obama grew up on the south side of Chicago. If y’all think she ain’t got some ‘bad’ in her, puh-leeze.

I’m sure she does. But the “bad girls” are the ones that break the rules or think that they don’t apply to her. They blaze their own path and therefore are considered “bad” because they didn’t go the traditional way.

The Obama’s are the examples of what you do when you DO follow the rules.

They’re on the good side.

Truth – I didn’t say or think it was negative to be called bad. But I don’t think that’s what the Obamas are, sorry.

Dan

April 29th, 2009
12:21 pm

Did I add that she’s from the southside of the Chi?

Where ViceLord, Bloods, Crips, and Latin Kings surround you on all sides and at all times. This woman stayed on her grind (her and her brother) went to Ivy League Schools and of her own accord went from lower middle class, to upper middle class in a span of 10 years…..
and still can cook like her mama

Tell me that ain’t a baaaad woman

abc

April 29th, 2009
12:22 pm

Projection such as to believe that the Obamas are whatever you think black people are in general is as mistaken as a belief that the Bush family represents what white people are.

I would speculate that on the South Side of Chicago, just as on the South Side of Atlanta, there are all kinds of people, just like everywhere. Why do you assume that a part of town makes you ‘bad’?

Michelle Obama does not invite a bunch of white people, that financed Barack’s campaign, and voted him into office, to kiss her azz. Get over it.

Beautiful

April 29th, 2009
12:23 pm

@SEXYCOOL
i didn’t realize at the time that it is a turn off for some men when women curse. how else was i to realize that men didn’t like it unless i was told by one?

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2009
12:24 pm

Michelle Obama does not invite a bunch of white people, that financed Barack’s campaign, and voted him into office, to kiss her azz. Get over it

Exactly.

I guess were in the minority here today, abc.

SexyCool

April 29th, 2009
12:25 pm

H#ll, Usher even sings about wanting a Bad Girl. Then went and got him one with a bad girl name – Tameka. (I just. I joke. I kid. – kinda – lol)

Dan

April 29th, 2009
12:25 pm

That’s just it.

She broke the rules of her enviornment. She went to class, got good grades, excelled at what she aspired to be; while retaining the toughness, security and sense of self that she was raised with in “the hood”.

I know far too many ladies with the capacity to be just like Michelle, but couldn’t break free of home. Still can’t.

So that’s where I come from with it

Barry

April 29th, 2009
12:26 pm

Hey Y’all:

Bad girls are everywhere. Even in the good girls. We men, of course we want a good girl,but we want a passionate, caring, bad girl in the bed. Ouside of the bed, we like our women to be enjoyable and likeable, intelligent, and strong. A lady who is sweet and intelligent, but takes no mess. Her not taking any mess from anyone, in my opinion does not make her a bad girl. It turns me on when I see a women stand up for herself and for me. A girl tring to play tough is another matter. These type of women wind up being very confrontational and can cause a lot of trouble if you are dating them. They are only good for the short term. Once you discover, you have a hot head, bad girl, it is best for all concerned that you let them go. These are the kind of girls that want to fight their man if thing s do not go their way. They can easily turn a gentleman into a criminal when they unsuspectingly and violently hit a man who is not use to getting hit by a woman and he strikes back. This man, most of the time, is considered a woman hitter. Therefore, I recommend all men to stay away from bad girls. If you have one, I bet you your life savings that you are going to have unwanted, resentful, vindictive,drama in long run. Stay with the good, intellegent girls who are sexy bad nly with you. They are worth their weight in gold. Real men are looking for “virtuos women”. The Bible describes her very well.

Selah

Raqi

April 29th, 2009
12:26 pm

one’s position on this topic is contingent upon their perception and definition of the word “bad

Exactly. Just like independent, strong, phat, mad and a bunch of other phrases commonly used these days.

Raqi

April 29th, 2009
12:28 pm

Beautiful why would you want part of a man when you have 3 whole men vying for your affection. Girl stop the madness. You are cheating yourself.

Demigod...via PDA

April 29th, 2009
12:28 pm

Foots..abc man…A.red

(said lika li’first grader)

MY PRESADENT WIFE ISA BAD BISH…fuggwititfuggwitit, and I am going to tell y’all’s mammas.

(abc is now beatin Demi with his Callaway 9-iron)

Dan

April 29th, 2009
12:28 pm

The South side of Chicago and the SW side of Atlanta are two different versions of the same world.

And while I could debate the finer points of it all day, I won’t. If you ain’t from round there, you don’t know.

So, who’s “projecting”?

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

April 29th, 2009
12:28 pm

Beautiful, did I tell you I’m secretly happily married? Come over and make me break my vows.

ABC, the Obamas aren’t a projection of what black people are but what they can be. We’ve got enough images of pimps, rappers and misguided athletes to last us a lifetime. Lets enjoy a new picture.

abc

April 29th, 2009
12:28 pm

I don’t think Michelle Obama sat on The View and told Barbara Walters to kiss her azz. I think she showed up and presented herself as the cultured, sophisticated, maternal and sensitive lady that she really is.

To characterize everything you like as ‘bad’ is, in itself, something of an indication of your value system. Sometimes, bad is used to mean good as a colloquillism (who knows how that ever got started); but sometimes (most of the time) bad is just bad.

SexyCool

April 29th, 2009
12:30 pm

Beautiful – Your second statement proves my ‘incomplete thought’ theory. Your first statement read as if you changed because HE told you to – not because he introduced a new thought or outlook to you. Can you see the difference that I am talking about?

As to the Michelle Obama of it all, may I again point out that MOST of what has been defined as ‘Bad Girl’ behaviour in THIS forum TODAY is simply about SURVIVAL. And again, if Mrs. Obama is not a SURVIVOR, then just what is she?

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2009
12:30 pm

She broke the rules of her enviornment. She went to class, got good grades, excelled at what she aspired to be; while retaining the toughness, security and sense of self that she was raised with in “the hood”.

That is the biggest crock of b*ll I’ve ever heard. So her environment has more influence then her household? Than what her parennts and grandparents have taught her to be? And despite the overall rules of society.

She didn’t grow up in a freakin crack house. She grew up in a working class neighborhood without the best reputation. You can still shelter your kids from elements with attentive parenting.

Goodness.

abc

April 29th, 2009
12:31 pm

haha… I have a set of Callaways and I ain’t wastin em on your big ol’ head, Demi!

Dan, I would submit that good or bad, smart or stupid, right or wrong, know no neighborhood.

lurker

April 29th, 2009
12:31 pm

These type of women wind up being very confrontational and can cause a lot of trouble if you are dating them. They are only good for the short term. Once you discover, you have a hot head, bad girl, it is best for all concerned that you let them go. These are the kind of girls that want to fight their man if thing s do not go their way. They can easily turn a gentleman into a criminal when they unsuspectingly and violently hit a man who is not use to getting hit by a woman and he strikes back. This man, most of the time, is considered a woman hitter. Therefore, I recommend all men to stay away from bad girls. If you have one, I bet you your life savings that you are going to have unwanted, resentful, vindictive,drama in long run

And I guess in this case, this type of bad was pulled out of a hat.

Raqi

April 29th, 2009
12:32 pm

Bad: not good; not as it should be a bad attitude, a bad deal
defective in quality; below standard; inadequate bad plumbing

OR

Bad: dope, good, tight

OR

Bad: adjective used to describe a trendy woman. Good looking or attractive. Envied and wanted by many

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2009
12:32 pm

why would you want part of a man when you have 3 whole men vying for your affection. Girl stop the madness. You are cheating yourself.

Raqi – supports my theory that some people get off on conflict or drama in their lives.

If it hasn’t changed by the time you head towards middle age, it probably never will.

DuShawn

April 29th, 2009
12:34 pm

“To characterize everything you like as ‘bad’ is, in itself, something of an indication of your value system. Sometimes, bad is used to mean good as a colloquillism (who knows how that ever got started); but sometimes (most of the time) bad is just bad.”

@abc, I have to admit, that was well f$%kin put….lol

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2009
12:34 pm

She broke the rules of her enviornment. She went to class, got good grades, excelled at what she aspired to be; while retaining the toughness, security and sense of self that she was raised with in “the hood”.

BWA HA HA. That is the silliest ish I’ve ever heard.

The rules of her environment? She didn’t grow up in a cr.ack house. She grew up with two attentive working class parents in a working class neigbhorhood that happened to have a lot of ish going on that didn’t apply to her.

Just cuz Johnny is selling rocks on the corner doesn’t take away from you having to do what your parents raised you to do or kept you away from.

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2009
12:36 pm

She broke the rules of her enviornment.

And furthermore, what an insult to all of us who grew up in the “hood” and didn’t fall victim to their “environment” which is a whole LOT of people.

Beautiful

April 29th, 2009
12:36 pm

@lurker
it’s going to be tough. i work with him. we’ve been having fun flirting for the last 5 mos. nothing serious. never thought about him after work until last saturday when he approached me asking me to be with him.

my co-worker said “didn’t you see the pics on his desk?!?” lol. NO!!! the nicca put them in the drawer. lol.

he think he slick.

i’m just releasing some frustration right now. only blogsville has the privilege to see this side of me. i have a professional rep to maintain when i step in the building.

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

April 29th, 2009
12:37 pm

Staceye I co-sign on your 12:11 100%. People used to call me mean b/c I’m like that til this day but I don’t beat people over the head with it ’cause that’s just me and who I am. I’m not rude with it(most of the times) and I can transcend any conversational topic from politics,world issues,sports,to the other end of the spectrum like ghetto ish and who I saw in the strip club last weekend. I think a bad girl can handle herself with decorum when need be and get knee deep in you shyt when you’ve phucked up.

Dan This swine flu has got the CDC crazy right now…they’re pulling people off of other stuff to work on this and they’ve had me in the lab all morning and I know this will be a hell.a.long day. This strain is a mixture of human,bird and swine flu and scientist are trying to figure out how/where/when they all zoonotically converged geographically. Gotta go now they workin’e like a Hebrew slave…….

Raqi

April 29th, 2009
12:39 pm

Beautiful let me ask you a question. Why would you want a man that you know is not faithful when it comes to relationships? Does that not tell you anything? That alone should be enough of turnoff.

Dan

April 29th, 2009
12:39 pm

@abc

Does it take more energy to run from second base to third base?

or

Does it take more energy to run from first base to third base?

or

Does is take more energy to leg out a triple (from 1st to third)?

or (in this case)

an inside the park homerun?

I submit that being born in an environment, where the easiest thing to do is the wrong thing. Having the fortitude and skill to navigate your from from that world, to a larger world, and keep going….

Has nothing to do with “just” smart, “just” will, “just” determination, my boy, to find all three and use them appropriately is a skill in and of itself.

But that “talent will succeed despite its surroundings” doesn’t play when you from the southside. Everybody has talent – and never made past 10th grade.

Jamoca

April 29th, 2009
12:41 pm

I just need my guy, lost what’s on my side,ladders we can climb
That’s what it is babe, I’m in this for you

take a train or drive, we don’t need no ride,flashy ain’t my style
That’s what it is babe, I’m in this for you

IMO, Based on on Du’s, Truth’s and Dan’s descriptions…all definitions of their “ideal bad girls” have the following in common:

-Resilience
-Versatility
- and one helluva Strategist

Nevermind their backgrounds or what side of the tracks they prefer. The question is: Can they “maintain” on either side? Or is it at the first sign of turmoil, she’s seen running for the hills or has she proven in her ability to produce without breaking a sweat or the drop of a tear? = whining.

Which btw, I have yet to see/hear of folks committing suicide just because they found themselves going from the big house, BACK to the 2Bd apt. Simple: Release the killswitch and put survival mode in overdrive.

So it appears to me, that no matter how comfortable her lifestyle becomes, her “survival mode” never lies dormant. She’s also mastered when to apply the killswitch to her “inner baddazz” with or without her man’s signal. Like a chameleon, she simply adapts to her environment.

…and anutha thang, I must say that I laugh to myself while smdh everytime I see someone use the term “godly” . Having love and/or acknowledgement for the “I AM” does not equate godliness and/or cleanliness. GTHOnnn with all ‘at! Lol

Oh and good afternoon ya’ll!…btw, Cee, I’m really gonna need you to stop having roll call up in this piece everytime folks decide to miss a few classes. Everyday ain’t a good day to take notes. Lol Glad you all are doing fine…just as I thought.

Dan

April 29th, 2009
12:43 pm

@Sassy

It would make sense, the “target” farm is a commercial meat farm in Mexico (owned and operated by an American company).

So that the virus would mutate across so many specie that are housed together is, while insane, not completely unforeseen. Especially with the commercial standards in Mexico.

Beautiful

April 29th, 2009
12:43 pm

@RAQI
i didn’t know he was married until monday night. and i can’t explain why i’m drawn more towards what i can’t have.

don’t worry your lil head, i’m stickin’ wit plan a.

The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while blogging

April 29th, 2009
12:45 pm

Ok flock, lets go back to Wise’s original meaning of bad girl/boy. Seems she was referring to folks that operate outside of the rules and the mainstream. Fonzi wearing leather and riding a motorcycle vs everyone else wearing a sweater and driving dads station wagon. In that sense women outside of the lines are less attractive than a guy in the same situation. Even a bad boy would be hesitant to hang with an equally bad girl. She just doesn’t hold value because of the things society values in a woman, though they are changing. Why is she always with a man? She is, its just a different man each time. Very few men would feel comfortable hanging with a woman that lived that far outside the mainstream, though most would love to knock her off for a night. Most men are trained that the only softness they’ll receive in life comes from a woman. The woman I believe Wise is referring to isnt going to provide that kind of warmth

Demigod...via PDA

April 29th, 2009
12:48 pm

abc….lol. And I was speaking of mostly the rightwingers who gave Michelle hellz last and the first two month of this year…heck Fox News!

Each to their own…

Mayne these cougars are looking good at northlake mall…(yep the horns are going up, hee hee hee)

DuShawn

April 29th, 2009
12:48 pm

Enter your comments here

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2009
12:48 pm

Ok flock, lets go back to Wise’s original meaning of bad girl/boy. Seems she was referring to folks that operate outside of the rules and the mainstream.

:idea: Some of us on here didn’t forget that.

And it’s certainly not Michelle Obama. ;-)

vuduchld

April 29th, 2009
12:49 pm

On the surface you think that a “bad girl” is all about confidence in herself and her abilities, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Bad girls are nothing but drama. At first, the allure is fresh because you have this woman who has sass and what you think might be class, but as time goes on you see the facade fall like a house of cards. These women only “think” they’re confident, but in reality they are small, shallow irrelevant creatures.The older I get, the less I was to be around, much less be associated with this ilk of losers.

Foots

April 29th, 2009
12:49 pm

Beautiful Very rarely do I condone folks ragging on you, but by saying this here === i didn’t know he was married until monday night. and i can’t explain why i’m drawn more towards what i can’t have. === you’re making women as a whole look crazy.

I can’t believe that this situation is even hard for you to stay away from. Work on improving your standards of what is attractive to you.

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2009
12:52 pm

Thank you Foots.

Beautiful

April 29th, 2009
12:54 pm

@FOOTS
look crazy to who? y’all? you’re commenting like i say this in public.

you’ve never ever ever wanted to date a guy and at the same time knew it was a bad idea?

THE MELO

April 29th, 2009
12:54 pm

Bad girlz hang with bad guys and they both,at one point or another,always have somebody on their arm.
Simple,str8 forward,church chics envy bad girlz but they cant pull it off the way bad girlz do.When a bad girl/boy is educated,she/he can be alluring but when ghetto,are really trashy.But in every class,elite or hood,there are bad girlz/boys!
Hw dee folks!!??.
Back to class,Miss uall!
Footsie,u bad?????.I knw u got class tho….

AmazonRed™

April 29th, 2009
12:56 pm

Simple,str8 forward,church chics envy bad girlz but they cant pull it off the way bad girlz do.

Ha! lol

Beautiful

April 29th, 2009
12:56 pm

i’m just thinking out loud and being real with how i’m feeling.

maybe if i got my hair pulled by TRUTH i’ll feel better. giggle.

SexyCool

April 29th, 2009
12:58 pm

It might have been well put, but it was a whole lotta of words that didn’t say a damn thing.

Beautiful

April 29th, 2009
12:58 pm

@AMAZON aka shiit starter
nrr’mind. keep doing you girlie.

Demigod...via PDA

April 29th, 2009
1:00 pm

(wear a tank top and boxers)

Jamoca…you know know you want this Godly man right here!

(dont mind my ashy knees)

Sybil

April 29th, 2009
1:01 pm

I bet Michelle’ll cut a bytch. :-D