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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Love is Blind

They say that love is blind and Philip Markoff’s fiancee’, Megan McAllister, is probably the most classic case of this that I’ve heard of recently.  Her latest statement: “To me and my family, he is a loving and caring person, and in the eyes of the law and the Constitution, he is innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.”

The accused “Craigslist Killer” is being charged with some pretty terrifying things. Surely she was devastated when she learned about the allegations and the evidence that was found in the home that they shared. Although she has made public statements in support of Markoff, I really wonder what she is thinking about. Is she reflecting back on what she overlooked or didn’t see? Were there signs that she could have caught?

We have all heard of “ride or die” in songs and used in our dating lexicon, but does it mean that love is blind?

What would you do if someone you were dating was accused or charged with a crime? Would your first thought be to break up with them immediately? What do you think of Megan McAllister’s support of her man? Is that admirable or delusional?

201 comments Add your comment

Dan

April 28th, 2009
8:11 am

Four words: accessory after the fact = run!

But in truth love isn’t blind, being in love causes you to overlook things (like duct tape, a shovel and lime sitting by the front door).

If she want to “ride” with old boy, let her. People get married on two sides of a jail cell almost everyday.

Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)

April 28th, 2009
8:16 am

Morning Folks! I’ll be in meetings all morning – luckily the 7:30 – 8:30 meeting let out a little early…

If my SO was charged with a crime, my reaction would depend on my intuition. If I feel that I truly know my mate and I can’t see anyway he could have committed the crime – then I’m sticking with him. With that said, I’ve never been in a ‘blind’ love situation – never been that wide open with a guy.

But your question is related to someone I’ve been dating…if I’m just dating the guy, I would proceed with caution.

As far as Ms. McAllister, I haven’t been following this case so I don’t know how strong the evidence is against the guy. But if they were engaged to be married, then I’m going to assume that she knows her guy. I can’t call her choice to stay with him admirable or delusional, but I can say that I understand it.

Have a great morning folks!

Ms Alld

April 28th, 2009
8:28 am

I can understand sticking by your SO, especially if that person is your husband/wife. In Ms McAllister’s case, they were enaged (to be married this summer)and living together so I am sure she feels as though she knows him like no other. I too (at first) would stand by my SO. But once the evidence starts coming out (computer trace, victim’s underwear, hidden gun, emails to men)that would make me pause to re-think how well do I actually know this person. Even though she is openly supporting her husband to be I am sure she has her moments where she is thinking “could he have…”

Raqi

April 28th, 2009
8:37 am

Morning.

Yes love is blind. It makes us see pass the flaws and faults of the one we love. However, I think that woman is ’bout as crazy as the dude she is sticking by. What type of person does it make you if you can over look someone that has committed such heinous acts. And this is stuff that he has done while they are together.

I hope I never become a fool for love to that extent.

C tha 1

April 28th, 2009
8:48 am

Its unfortunate but people get played all the time. Being in love is good . . . blissful in fact, but it only buys you the benefit of the doubt. Although it may hurt that benefit is cracked once you start introducing e-mail trails, DNA tests, hair folicles, someone else’s skin underneath fingernails, semen samples. Love may be blind, and you may be ride or die . . . but forensic science is a bytch.

Raqi

April 28th, 2009
8:52 am

Ctha1 Forensic science is like Lasik, it will make you see a whole lot clearer.

LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!

April 28th, 2009
9:01 am

Good Morning All :)

C- LMAO!! Love isn’t that blind! People need to believing that life is reality, not the fairytale ish your SO may be feeding you or what you may be feeding yourself..

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

April 28th, 2009
9:06 am

All I neeed in this life of sin is me and my girlfriend…tell me why ’til the bloody end jus’ me and my girlfriend…..

Morning blog fam……I’m ready for Friday and it’s just Tuesday….shyt :(

On topic: Love is a good thing but when it overrides your common sense then Houston we have a problem. Supporting your mate is one thing but sticking your head in the sand acting oblivious to to something so blatent is another thing. Run Forrest….run Forrest….run

AmazonRed™

April 28th, 2009
9:07 am

Morning lovelies,

Yeah, love is blind but I’m not. I’m a pretty tolerant person, but crime I can not do.

I’m out faster than JLo dropping Puffy after a nightclub shooting.

LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!

April 28th, 2009
9:11 am

Ared- LMAO!! Jlo was/is about her business!! Love her!

Dan

April 28th, 2009
9:36 am

I just read the “when being single becomes a bad sign” joint.

Some good stuff. Sorry I missed it.

Foots

April 28th, 2009
9:46 am

Both the Craigslist killer and his fiancee are VERY young. Of course she thought she knew him and of course she was wrong. When I think about how deeply I thought I knew men I dated at that age, I can certainly see how she could have thought she knew him. You hardly know yourself at that point in life, and even if you’re 80, you’ll never truly know another person.

It takes time for people to reveal themselves to you. Now, I know better than to say “I know him”. I know what I know about his habits, his strengths, his weaknesses, and his motivations because that’s what he’s shown me so far. All that other stuff still remains to be seen.

Would I still love him if his character flaws prove to be beyond repair or beyond what I can deal with? Yes. Could I still be his woman? Nope.

Grace

April 28th, 2009
9:55 am

Foots made a good point about not fully knowing a person but I would like to go farther and say that even with habits and such, different events can change the way a person think and behave out of their normal way of being. As for standing by my man when he’s commited such violent crime, I would have to walk away and fast, just to think that it could have easily been me would be too hard to swallow.

SexyCool

April 28th, 2009
9:56 am

Having been arrested and spent the night in jail as a teenager for shoplifting with my best friend, I have a deep aversion to anything JAIL RELATED. If my SO fit the description of something like that and I had some doubts, I would be the first person calling Crimestoppers.

And I could go on and talk about the effects of lesser crimes – DWI, suspended licenses, theft, driving without insurance, all of which (at my age and the age of anyone I would be dating) would cause me to look at you sideways and question your judgment and your place in my life.

Three Words Daily – Time + Effort = Reward

abc

April 28th, 2009
9:56 am

“Innocent until proven guilty” is the way it’s supposed to work. I don’t watch TV news, I’ve grown allergic to it — the personalities are just too irritating to bear, and the sensationalism and hype are offensive — I’d say that anything the media portrays should not be perceived as facts. Once we had Walter Cronkite, now we have hype and jive artists, beaming smiles with lively voices.

A lot of criminals have people that stand by them. Maybe they’re family, maybe not. An accused serial killer may seem difficult or impossible to muster any compassion in others, but I’d expect his mother still loves him. Why not his fiancee?

Just the same, big shocker for that girl, I reckon.

C-Hunter ( My,My,My)

April 28th, 2009
9:59 am

Good Morning blog family!

It’s a good day to be alive!

On topic: Love is a tricky, it can drive us to do some crazy things!
I cannot nor will not support a criminal publically! Also, if I still had feelings after the evidence came out I most certainly would not make any public statements about how much I love my SO while she is about to go to jail! :smile:

What’s up Ms. Sassy? How is the country looking with this swine flu?
Are we going to have a major breakout?

LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!

April 28th, 2009
10:01 am

Sexy- I agree one million %

Grace

April 28th, 2009
10:07 am

Maybe McAllister could be on the level of forgiving accused Craiglist killer for his actions since she’s still loving the man she was planning to have a life with and not the killer that he’s being accused of being. She wasn’t dating him they were planning a life together -marriage – commitment, and that’s a whold nother level. I’m pretty sure it’s a difficult situation and you just can’t turn feeling off light even if you do run, since our emotions tend to go to default mode wailing against all else.

Raqi

April 28th, 2009
10:09 am

I would think we all have been blinded by love or what we thought was love at one in our life. I know I have. Especially when we were young a less matured instead of looking what a person was saying we were listening what they were lying about saying.

I am all for loving someone despite their faults but it is hard to imagine loving someone who has premeditated certain acts of crime.

One the way to work this morning I heard on the radio where the man shout his wife. You never know what people are going thru and what brings them to the point of snapping in a relationship. But to go harm innocent people just because. That I don’t see being able to understand.

LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!

April 28th, 2009
10:15 am

Raqi- Are you referring to the UGA professr who killed his ex wife with their kids in the car? If so, he planned that!

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

April 28th, 2009
10:23 am

Sad to say…you never really know somebody. I say everybody is capable of ANYTHING. Now am I outright accusing people…no. But I put nothing past NOBODY. In my book everyone is suspect. Now as time goes on and you show no signs of being crazy…then the percentage lessons…but I still would never say never! I know love blinds the hell out most people. But I say keep good vision in one of your eyes open. And do not ignore red flags. The saying if if is walks like a duck and quacks liek a duck….most likely it’s a duck holds true!

Now as far as sticking by your SO….if we are out in public and you get into an argument…even if I think you are dead wrong I will have oyur back. But when are alone I will let you have it for being a jackhole! :lol: United front in public!

Raqi

April 28th, 2009
10:29 am

Lioness I think that is the one. But he knew her. There was a reason he did what he did, although no reason is a right or good reason. What I am saying is this man and many other like him that decide to harm and/or kill people that they don’t know or have any association with. I don’t even want to know the mind that makes a person decide they just want to start killing strangers. It takes a horrible mind to just see someone and decide to kill them and they have not wronged you in anyway.

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

April 28th, 2009
10:42 am

What’s up Ms. Sassy? How is the country looking with this swine flu?
Are we going to have a major breakout?

My,My,My I’m not sure yet but I do know people are up in arms right now BUT another question being asked is “Is this actually Swine flu?”. There are alot of people here(on CDC capmus) to do testing and the CDC is looking for people to travel to some of the sites to do diagnostic testing as well. I’m going to a meeting today where there will be a Q and A session about this and what precautions to take. So far ~150 people have died but they still aren’t sure what the origin of the virus was but they know it’s spread through human contact. We’ll see……

Dan

April 28th, 2009
11:13 am

So they haven’t identified the virus yet?

Raqi

April 28th, 2009
11:20 am

A company is telling us we could incur a $500 fine if we kill that freakin woodpecker. However he will charge us $450 to set traps in the yard to try and catch it. And who’s to say how long it will take to trap it. Where is that dang neighbor’s cat when you need him?

We are having Moe’s catered for lunch. That’s different for a catered lunch but I wonder whose idea was it.

i'm swiss

April 28th, 2009
11:20 am

“What do you think of Megan McAllister’s support of her man?”

Um, well I haven’t really followed this story, so I don’t know anything about either party, but just from reading your synopsis, Diva, my first thought is, “she has got to be a white chic.” :lol: ‘Cos I just can’t see a sistah being that delusional over a dude. Well, that, and anybody called “the craigslist killer” has got to be a white dude, too. Just sayin’… :lol:

But seriously, that would have to be pretty disconcerting to have that big a secret revealed about your SO. I would wonder how in the world I could have missed something like that. I can’t imagine sticking around if the evidence is pretty overwhelming, but then I guess you never know how you’ll react until you’re actually in a situation like that.

Sassy Me....tastes like candy :-)

April 28th, 2009
11:22 am

Dan Mexico is kind of pointing the finger at the U.S.(kind of) in regards to WHERE the outbreak started but thus far preliminary tests lean towards swine flu but what’s really happening now is the effort to prevent the panic seen when Avian flu hit. It’s difficult to tell right now b/c there are more questions than answers.

Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

April 28th, 2009
11:24 am

What about that jerk cop Drew Petersen who is accused (now) of murdering his first wife, and is under suspicion for the disappearance of his second wife…now engaged again to another young thing half his age. WTF is she thinking. That guy sure sounds guilty as hellz and yet young women keep flocking to him. There is a reason for the old saying “where there is smoke, there is fire”. Why do some women take that chance.

I cannot understand women who are drawn to men that they know are going to hurt them, they know are going to be unfaithful, or they know are going to destroy their self esteem. Why do some women, who have been with a married man, think that he will stop cheationg and change if he leaves his wife and goes to her?

Open question to you women on the blog who are drawn to the “bad boy” like a moth to a flame…WHY? Do you think you are the one who can “reform” them, do you have some deep seated need to be abused, WHY? Why is it that many if not most women are seduced by the excitement of a rogue, but knowing right from the beginning where that road is leading?

Enquiring minds want to know.

AmazonRed™

April 28th, 2009
11:28 am

my first thought is, “she has got to be a white chic.”

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Raqi

April 28th, 2009
11:33 am

http://www1.whdh.com/news/articles/craigslistkiller/BO111565/

This dude was exchanging sexually explicit emails with other men. One guy says he actually has photos that was sent to him.

Dan

April 28th, 2009
11:34 am

So we don’t have any information about the viral path or the point of origin?

Has anyone at least sequenced it yet for a comparable virus, I mean, does it look like something we may have a file for?

Beautiful

April 28th, 2009
11:43 am

**Were there signs that she could have caught?**

this right here is not fair. how does a person know to look for these signs? until he gives me a reason . . . if you go into a relationship looking for shiit something is wrong with you and/or you got trust issues.

ev1 is guilty of not seeing the signs.

Beautiful

April 28th, 2009
11:45 am

@SEXYCOOL
thanks for yesterday! character . . .

Raqi

April 28th, 2009
11:46 am

Beautiful

April 28th, 2009
11:53 am

@RAQI
is that towards me? say something!

DuShawn

April 28th, 2009
11:55 am

Suppose what you discovered about your SO was not as drastic as them being a murderer, I watched this movie years ago, where the husband and wife had been married for decades. Their children were now adults and he had been an excellent father, husband and provider throughout the years. One day she caught him dressed in women’s underwear. He assured her that he wasn’t gay, but since childhood, he has always enjoyed wearing women’s under garments. After the initial shock had worn off, she decided that was something she could live with. The movie ended with the couple in bed, both wearing panties and bras. What are you willing to accept in the name of love? Ladies, if you’ve fallen in love with a guy and you discovered a few ounces of coke in his house or Fellas, if you’re really digging a chick and you find out she used to dance and trick at a strip club. Is that something you can move pass? Personally, I don’t judge people by their past, but it can give you some insight about one’s character. Love is a rare flight and is often accompanied with baggage. How many bags will you allow a person to carry on?

Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)

April 28th, 2009
12:05 pm

@Sassy should we wear masks?

What are you willing to accept in the name of love? Ladies, if you’ve fallen in love with a guy and you discovered a few ounces of coke in his house or Fellas, if you’re really digging a chick and you find out she used to dance and trick at a strip club. Is that something you can move pass?

@Du that is a good question! … I would say for myself I already know what I am looking for in a woman and if you she possess those characteristics that I like I can look past the stripping! But I am not sure I can look past her dressing up like a man! :smile:

AmazonRed™

April 28th, 2009
12:07 pm

The movie ended with the couple in bed, both wearing panties and bras.

:lol: !!!!!

If I missed his cross dressing for DECADES, I wouldn’t feel the need to rock the boat now that I know. Besides, he’s proven that his habit hasn’t gotten in the way of providing for our family.

But I’ma need DuShawn to stop watching Lifetime movies. :lol:

But if I found coke in his house, naw, I couldn’t do that. As stated above, don’t do the criminal activity or the functional drug addicts!

Dan

April 28th, 2009
12:10 pm

@Dushawn

Well stated.

But the post is not about the past, but the present.

Given your examples, if the coke was old or she hadn’t danced in a while, thats the past.

Now if the catch the person snortin or turning tricks today, that’s a different issue.

Past vs. active behavior. Yeah dude killed ole girl a while back, but he still committed murder recently.

But I agree with your point about the limits of acceptability, and obviously those limits are unique to individuals.

Cemeeli

April 28th, 2009
12:13 pm

Hey folks!

Swissie Is that you catching a break from the fields? Lol :wink: How are you and the lady been that waterfront ceremony is vastly approaching! You ready? I saw a curly haired white guy, and his stallion black girlfriend at the gas station the other day, and thought of you and Swiss Miss. :)

Sassy I have been following the story on that virus as well. Thanks so much for sharing what you know! I take that kind of stuff so serus!!! Please continue to keep us abreast.

On topic: I haven’t even followed or heard about the “craigslist killer” story. But jail and minor crime situataions happen all the time. If you love ‘em, support em. If hand cuffs are put on your SO you lose sight of love? No.

If it’s murder, thou shalt be tried as such. WE know people, have and will snap! And really bad to the point of murder. It can be difficult to support a murderer…that’s so “in your face”….what’s one to do?

Foots

April 28th, 2009
12:14 pm

DuShawn That’s a great example from that movie. I was listening to the Strawberry Letter yesterday and a lady was tripping over finding evidence of porn sites on her fiance’s computer. They were of big, huge women. She said that she wasn’t a tiny girl herself, but it led her to question whether or not she really knew her man and whether or not she should confront him with it. And of course, whether or not she should marry him.

Personally, I was a little disappointed with the answers they gave the young lady. I would have liked for them to highlight for her the differences between male and female sexuality (more visual vs more emotional). I was thinking that her finding the stuff gave her more insight into him, and it gave her the opportunity to realize that fantasies don’t always translate into reality (i.e. he’s probably not cheating on her with bigger girls). I could see if it was an addiction, but it seemed like it had never affected their relationship, so I don’t think it went that far for him.

As one of the most levelheaded cats on here, what’s your take on that situation?

Beautiful

April 28th, 2009
12:16 pm

Megan McAllister supporting him in public was the wrong thing to do imo. that’s just something that i wouldn’t be able to muster.

DuShawn

April 28th, 2009
12:17 pm

“But I’ma need DuShawn to stop watching Lifetime movies”….lol.
hhmmmmm…..it was between sports seasons and my lady made me watch it.
That’s what happened and I’m sticking with it.

Beautiful

April 28th, 2009
12:21 pm

so how do you explain the lady in DU’s story not seeing that her hubby loves to wear panties? she didn’t look for it. she is not made to look for this type of stuff. he never gave her a reason.

AmazonRed™

April 28th, 2009
12:22 pm

it was between sports seasons and my lady made me watch it.
That’s what happened and I’m sticking with it.

:lol: That’s where it starts. That’s how I got my last dude to start watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta. The commentary he provided while we watched was priceless! :lol:

LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!

April 28th, 2009
12:22 pm

DU- That would gross me out!! I would prefer to be kept in the dark but there HAD to be signs that she ignored.. Were the panties hers he wore?

Raqi

April 28th, 2009
12:25 pm

I kinda agree with Dan. However there are a few things that I can name that I cannot close my eyes to whether past or present. And if it surfaces in the future.

But situations like drugs or the like that were done in the past, those are easier to accept and deal with.

Even finding a porn stash now would not get me overly excited unless he has been spending less time in bed with me and more time with his porn.

Beautiful

April 28th, 2009
12:26 pm

how do you explain how the lady from the radio didn’t know her man loves to look at porn on the computer? if everything was going smooth up until then . . . how would she know?

Beautiful

April 28th, 2009
12:27 pm

@RAQI
you have nothing to say?

AmazonRed™

April 28th, 2009
12:27 pm

so how do you explain the lady in DU’s story not seeing that her hubby loves to wear panties?

Love is blind and clearly she is too.

She’s lucky it’s only panties. Let’s hope he doesn’t have a family on the other side of town with her blind azz. :lol: