Love Scene For Two
I love the anticipation of a new romantic interest coming to your place for the first time. Hopefully the place is clean and smells fresh, with mood lighting and music. I think that romance adds to the chemistry between you and your date. Guys, you may not realize how much your romantic skills impress women. It goes a long way, it can be what keeps you in the mix! Ladies, we also can leave a great impression when we romance men, paying close attention to what he likes.
How do you set up a romantic night at the crib? What was the best “at home” date night you ever had? I remember when a guy went all out with a romantic evening for me. I won’t ever forget the care and attention he put into the night. I felt so cared for!
A lot of us are trying to save a little money, so home dates are probably on the rise! Do you think that is a good thing or a bad thing? How do we make the best of it?
Happy Friday!
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221 comments Add your comment
Kym aka Patty Hewes
April 24th, 2009
8:52 am
Good Morning All,
Okay see this topic made me breakout the Will Downing.
A great home date, is a simple light dinner, maybe a nice chicken breast and veggie stirfry..or picking up chinesse from your favorite place. Shoes off, light music in the background(Will D or Boney James, or Walter Beasley) and some cuddling. Just the peace and serenity of spending time in the arms of the one you care for.
After Tonight..I’m going to show how make love.
AFter Tonight..I’ll be the only one you thinking of.
After Tonight..I bet you never be the same love.
After me loving you..you loving me. After Tonight
AmazonRed™
April 24th, 2009
9:00 am
Happy Friday All –
An impromptu home date is how my last relationship began. It was nice to stop by to pick up some tickets and be greeted by a home cooked meal by candlelight.
I have to admit, I haven’t really set the scene for romantic home dates. Usually, a guy isn’t invited to my home til more of a routine is established (and the background check has been passed
). I just think dates out are more romantic. But as WD said, with the economy, I’ll have to start putting more thought into this…
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
9:08 am
Good morning! Home dates can be beautiful and releases tension. Meaning people are more relaxed at home w/o all the stimuli a date out in public offers. A nice dinner, soft music in the background, a board game or two or just watching a movie cuddled up can be so so soothing!
M'
April 24th, 2009
9:12 am
Well, at home dating is an excellent option to pursue…espcecially if either party has superb culinary skills to enhance the experience…the atmosphere is definitely more intimately controlled…meaning no outside distractions and such…nope, not a bad option at all if all things are mutally agreed upon and accepted…a truly good time can be had by all.
NY2GA
April 24th, 2009
9:12 am
Good morning all..
Kym, I like it.. I like your choice of music/words as well.. “After Tonight… I’ll be the only one you thinking of”. That’s the impression you want the special person to leave with when the night is over. You want her calling all her BF’s bragging about how great that night was.
I’m thinking some candles lit, soft music, FRESH flowers, nice bottle of wine that she likes and a nice dinner made especially for her.
Note Fellas: Find out what she likes to eat, not what you want. Usually, you can’t go wrong with a Salmon and a nice veggie.. Shrimp app, made in a lemon/butter sauce.. Go all out and take your time.. Let her know it’s all about her for the night..
Trust me, she will show her appreciation (kind words, appreciative of the effort, etc), it not, run …
former lurker
April 24th, 2009
9:16 am
It was Valentine’s Day, I made Lobster. I got all of the old wine bottles together, cleaned off their labels and put roses in them and put them all around the apartment. I got some little candles and had them floating in all kinds of glasses around the apartment. Started off with gin and tonic, moved to wine. I had jazz and some old soul on the stereo: Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers, Lee Morgan, Curtis Mayfield and the Impressions, Aretha Franklin, etc. Good night. She loved it, still talks about it.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
9:17 am
I had a dream not too long ago that I was having dinner in a diner and the scene was absolutely breathtaking. When I woke up the next morning I jotted it down in my handwritten journal because I want to make it come true. And add a few extras that were not in the dream.
Just a small look into what I am planning for late October, everything is in white. Soft music. White candles outlining the room, along the walls on the floor, on shelves, on tables of various heights draped with white linen. White table linens. White China. White rose pedals covering the floor to cushion our feet as we dance heart beat to heart beat. And my add-in is going to be me dressed in a white pants suit and barefoot. (There is something about being barefoot that makes it so daggone sexy) Strawberries covered in white chocolate to sweeten the palate after serving our favorite entrée. And champagne.
That’s my fantasy that I plan to make reality in my own home for this year.
Tom
April 24th, 2009
9:20 am
Raqi – That is one of the nicest fantasys I have ever read! Good job!
Blow Me
April 24th, 2009
9:24 am
Good Morning All and Happy Friday!
NOPE home dates are out of the question. In the early stages, I am funny about allowing people into my home. It’s my sanctuary..Its the place where I can rest and regroup all of my thoughts.
Later down the line……..way down the line that is. We can have a great movie not and sip on some merlot and do what it do. But until then being and seeing my home…is much later on in the game.
Also I will definitely not be going to his home for a “date”. When I think of dates. I think of a outing not a innie. lol!!
Guys try to get fresh..so on the initial stages that is definitely inappropriate. Later down the line…sure.
M'
April 24th, 2009
9:24 am
@Raqi
That be jammin…soft, romantic, intimate and pleasing…what a nice combo!!!!
AmazonRed™
April 24th, 2009
9:30 am
I can say that one thing this blog has helped with is being more creative. I’m not a creative person by nature. In addition, I don’t need a lot of flowers and poetry to be happy or find something romantic and just naturally assume guys don’t either. But I’m sure some rose petals and candles from time to time won’t hurt.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 24th, 2009
9:30 am
Hi WD,
This is something I put some work into. Usually around the third date, I plan dinner at my place. Soft music, scent diffuser on, several bottles of wine, soft music playing thru the stereo system. I usually plan on cooking Italian, maybe Chicken Marsala or Pollo Rosa Maria (Carrabas or Cheesecake Factory recipes from on-line). Have table set with real china, silverware, salad plates, wine glasses, candles, etc., already in their proper “Amy Vanderbilt” places. She stays with me while I cook, or wanders around the pad or plays with my dogs. A little slow dancing in the kitchen as the sauce simmers perhaps.
This part of dating I really like. This and the wine, china, champagne glasses, and fancy picnic stuff at Stone Mtn. before the laser show. Yep, I like these a lot…and a ‘little romance’ can be ‘a lot rewarding’. (some of my favorite t-shirts!!!).
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 24th, 2009
9:34 am
Oh, and somewhere around 10:00 or so, the song “We’ve Got Tonight” by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet band comes on while we are slow dancing in the den “coincidentally”. Strange how that happens
.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
9:37 am
Oh Tom and M’ I do thank you all. Now I can scratch off the first to-do at the top of the list.
1.
Find babysitter. Tom and M’ has volunteered.Wise Diva
April 24th, 2009
9:39 am
That’s it, give me your address Randyt, LOL! I love that song, why do I always date men who are anti slow dancing?Hmph. It’s such a great intimate thing to do.
M'
April 24th, 2009
9:39 am
@Blow
Yeah…we do have to choose the right time and moment for wanting to let our boundaries be open and our hair down when it comes to who went want in our space and when…the moment has to be a mutally comfortable one and also with someone who has the ability to not be imposinly frisky and such…and that can be tricky…I remember when I had my own apt on P’tree Ave…one time this cat I knew stopped by…well, he seemed to think that inherent in the fact the we were both alone in my apt that is meant I wanted him to make a move on me…yeah right…it seems that he was of the mind that if I did not want him to make any moves then why did I invite him into my place…duh, well you knocked on the door, I opened it and said take a seat…no problem…duh, if I live alone…then who else is suppose to be there????….a chaperone????…awrighty now…and unfortunately, I learned that he was not the only man of such a mindset…needless to say, with the exception of good friends…my place soon became a no invite brothers over zone…lol.
M'
April 24th, 2009
9:41 am
LMAO @ Raqi…typically my hard and fast rule is that I do not babysit…lol…but every rule must have at least one exception…so I guess you would be it…lol
kimmie
April 24th, 2009
9:55 am
Happy Friday Blog!
I have not had the pleasure of having an evening planned out in such detail for me at his home yet. I did it all, complete with candles & music, for one of my exes. I had on black velvet pajama-style pants & a velvet one-shoulder tunic and satil mules. Black velvet undies that were next to nothing. All was well until he went into my bedroom and turned on a basketball game after he ate. Sigh…
I’m sure with my current SO I would have had a totally different reaction and ending. Sigh…
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 24th, 2009
9:58 am
Yeah, that song truly has some of the best lyrics of any song out there. I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen an attractive lady alone during my travels, and wished I could get that song to play. It gets to the point really well and to answer that unspoken question, it can seal the deal sometimes…in a good way.
Oh wll, time to go hop a plane. Talk later.
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
9:59 am
The one problem I have with dating at home is if it’s the first date. I had 2 invites in the past month to have drinks at their house. To me, that’s a no no and a bad way to start things off. Plying me with liquor in an environment I’ve never been in is not a good start. How come guys don’t see this as not being cool? Never mind, I already know!
M'
April 24th, 2009
10:12 am
@Leggs
Yeah…that it another one of those iffy gigs…but ironically, my experience here in the VA has been totally different than the ATL…most brothers that I have met here are a lot less aggressive with the games and a lot more gentlemanly…if there is such a term…I have kicked it with the bro’s here unlike in the GA without having to question any motives.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
10:18 am
I have always felt that round tables are better suited for intimate settings for two. Anytime I have attempted to create a romantic setting or even just imagine a romantic setting if there is a table it is round. For some strange reason to me square tables create boundaries or borders. It is something about the corners that kinda throws it off. A round table is more free flowing and inviting into your dates universe.
Just one of my many quirks.
And yes the choice of music can enhance or kill the mood.
Just because your date likes Nelly doesn’t mean his latest hit is a fit for the evening. I know a lady that happened to.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
10:23 am
NOPE home dates are out of the question
STOP fronting as if nobody has ever been up ur high behind! Come down to the erotic zone.We talking real,like when evething is now established and u ready to………okay Blow!
ugh,some of u females
Why u need a disclaimer eve time be4 u do sme indulgence??..u knw(in soft voice),i neva done this be4
just do it!
Blow Me
April 24th, 2009
10:29 am
How come guys don’t see this as not being cool? Never mind, I already know!
Because they DO think its cool…lol! That was funny!
MELO
April 24th, 2009
10:33 am
I’m sure with my current SO I would have had a totally different reaction and ending. Sigh
Diva,plz tell these bloggers that the topic today is for mature adults ONLY!
Kids,please lurk today!
KIMMIE SO:????: U and Karate kid have not crossed the Rubicon yet? Yeah,I dont think so,as usuall, i got it wrong.Tell us girl,about the moment it happened!!
SexyCool
April 24th, 2009
10:42 am
Surface clutter is cleared away. Kitchen is clean. Bathroom is spotless. Vacuum tracks are visible. Glade scented oil candles are lit. I’m wearing something comfortable, cute and just a little bit sexy without being too provocative. Brian McKnight sings.
Three Words Daily – Celebrate each accomplishment.
SexyCool
April 24th, 2009
10:43 am
Forgot to add. My house is like this most of the time anyway. I just like to do a little bit extra when company is coming.
AmazonRed™
April 24th, 2009
10:43 am
Brian McKnight sings.
Love. Him.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
April 24th, 2009
10:43 am
OK I remember setting up a romantic evening for my ex and I. Since he was from another country I was not about to try to make a dish from there nd jack it up. So I found a spot that made his favorites and brought it home. I lit a lot of candles and made CD’s of all the songs we said we liked. I bought champagne and chocolate covered strawberries. I knew what time he was coming so I ran the tub with only hot water so it would be cool enough be the time we got in. It was filled with bubble bath and rose petals. So when he arrived I was dresses in a very slinky belly dance costume and a long jet black wig and danced for him (He loved my dance to “The One” by Prince). Then led him to the tub…only to want to smack the hell out of myself. This dude was 6′8 and I am 5′8….we did not fit!
So I let the water out and we showered together. Then I fed the strawberries and champagne to him and gave him a massage with lotion. We got our freak on and feel asleep! Overall…a pretty good night. I have never felt compelled to do that for anybody else. Oh well…except myself. I do it alone sometimes. Yep…I watch myself dance in the mirror..all made up and wigged out in my costumes. 
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
10:47 am
I think a nice romantic evening if you live in a place with a balcony at the right angle would be watching the sunset from your balcony. Or even a roof top dinner.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
10:48 am
@MELO
your 10:23a is how i feel too. just be real!
MELO
April 24th, 2009
10:48 am
Hey United nations aka Staceye,that was off da chain,what im talking about.
Raqi, u need to do a lil better and more with ur testimony.Why u leaving us hanging…well thats ur style anyway…
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
10:51 am
@RAQI
your 9:17a . . . it’s like you described heaven.
AmazonRed™
April 24th, 2009
10:52 am
Then led him to the tub…only to want to smack the hell out of myself. This dude was 6′8 and I am 5′8….we did not fit! So I let the water out and we showered together.
Staceye – There is always some comedy in your stories!
One thing I love about my house, the tub in the master bath is so long I could lay down in it. Had a couple of close calls nodding off in that thing.
I like to dance for myself too.
Grace
April 24th, 2009
10:54 am
I’ll take a home date over going out any day. The tone is more on a comfortable level for both of us. The last home date I had was filled with music soft and old school jams, a seafood medley which we prepared together and movie. Preparing a meal together is so romantic, it’s a time for bonding and checking out each other’s culinary skills.
DuShawn
April 24th, 2009
10:54 am
You folks are so classy and romantic. My home dates typically included a lot of drugs, malt liquor and porn.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
10:57 am
@DU
drugs?
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
10:59 am
@Raqi, the roof top/balcony dinner sounds delightful. I have to make that one happen! Also, I definitely agree with on the round table vs. square table = free flowing less boundaries!
DuShawn
April 24th, 2009
11:02 am
Some Heroin, Ex, a little meth. That’s what set’s the ambience.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
April 24th, 2009
11:04 am
Let’s see…my romance playlist…
1. Secret Garden-Quincy Jones, Barry White, Al B. Sure, El Debarge
2. Ebony Eyes-Rick James & Smokey Robinson
3. Late Night Rendevous-Carl Thomas
4. Atlantis-Isley Brothers
5. The One-Prince
6. Making Love in the Rain-Herb Alphert & J. Jackson
7. Funny How Times Flies-Janet Jackson
8. Uhh Ahh (Remix)-Boyz II Men
9. Feenin’-Jodeci
10. Top of the World-Menace to Society Soundtrack
11. I’m Still Waiting-Johnny Gill
12. There You Go-Johhny Gill
13. Something in Your Eyes-BBD
14. Come Over-Faith Evans
15. Way You-Chante Moore
16. Love’s Taken Over (Sooth remix)-Chante Moore
17. I Love You-Keith Washington & Chante Moore
18. Justify My Love-Madonna
19. Erotica-Madonna
20. Closer-Nine Inch Nails
21. Imagine That-R. Kelly
22. Lusty-Lamb (I have a hot tribal belly dance to this one)
23. Angel-Massive Attack
24. I Hate You-Prince
25. I Adore You-Caron Wheeler
26. Say Yes-Floetry
27. Signs of Lovemaking-Tyreese
28. Simply Deep-Kelly Rowland
29. Seduction-Usher
30. Come Over-Estelle & Sean Paul
I have more but these are 30 that come to mind!
What are some of you guys’ favorties?
East Point's Own
April 24th, 2009
11:05 am
@M’ Its a lot more dudes up here (in VA)that are not all that much into women too. I have never seen so many dudes out in social scenes who don’t say nuthin to any ladies in the room. These cats like to dress up more than the women…LoL I had never heard of a club that let’s men in free while charging women until I came to VA. Dudes up here are extra soft/sweet for the most part.
But maybe I say that cause I am from ATL and yeah we do things differently down south. My homegirl from ATL was here last weekend and she concluded that all the dudes she met up here were lames… I’m just saying though.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
11:07 am
@DU
ok so, this is what you plan for a romantic date? have you ever been slapped in the face because she excepted to be wined and dined? *not being funny*
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
April 24th, 2009
11:08 am
ARED…this was an NY Tub….so you know it was small as hell!
Something crazy or funny is always happening to me…I swear!
DUSHAWN….
OMG! You are nuts!
MELO…hey I am always up for a challenge…but cooking a meal frm another country without a run through first is a no go.
I had to drive all the way to Queens where the East European spots were to get that food. I attract foreign men. My girls back home say if a dude is foreign….he’ll want me! 
kimmie
April 24th, 2009
11:09 am
Melo – Just came out of a meeting & read your 10:33. I said me & SO have never planned a all-out romantic evening at home yet. Even the times when the kids were away, we usually have gone out somewhere first. That’s what I was saying. Are you asking if we have not done the do, after a year & a half? Come on man, we grown! I would never come in here shooting some bull like that!LOL!!!
Grace
April 24th, 2009
11:12 am
Raqi candle lite dinner on the balcony is a must during this time of the season, not to cold, not to hot – just right
I have this cute bistro I bought from wally world a few years ago. I’ll be dusting that sucka off tonight getting it ready for the weekends to come, oh yeah the lil’ lights too.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
11:13 am
Come on man, we grown!
I know, i was just hoping that with todays topic,u wld let ur hair down and let us know how the first cut went down with ur man.Not all the way but u know….
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
11:14 am
Melo a rather awesome setting that he has done was before we married and after a fine dinner that he prepared, we went up to his room and in the bathroom he had nice music playing and candles on the countertop and the flames from the candles reflected off the mirror creating an awesome glow on the bare skin. There was lily pedals floating on of the water. (Nice touch. I love lilies) Then he turned on the jets in the tub and created instant foam bubbles from whatever he had poured into the water ahead of time.
But that’s scene only for someone you are already getting busy with. Oh yeah he had the satin sheets which I absolutely hate and he hates even more so we did it on the floor on top of the comforter. And then feel asleep wrapped up in the comforter. Slept ’til about 10am the next day which was a Saturday morning.
This one was strictly for you Melo.
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
11:17 am
@Beautiful, of course he never been slapped in the face because his dates rode the same drug wave he was riding. You only hang with those of even ilk. Free drugs, that was the date.
DuShawn
April 24th, 2009
11:19 am
I’m just being silly. Dayum, I don’t want to be here today. Seriously, on the subject of dating and music. I remeber when my lady and I were starting out. We played this one song all night, literally. Neither one of us wanted to get up and change the CD. “Simply Beautiful” by Al Green. We rode out to that until the sun came up. To this day when we hear it we remember that night.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
11:20 am
Yeah Grace that is one I would like to do. Unfortunately we don’t have a balcony nor a flat roof top.
I actually would like to find some type of lilypad structures that floats on top of water and put them on the pool water with some candles on them and have a nice pool side evening. Maybe sometime next summer.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
11:22 am
This one was strictly for you Melo
thanx, i luv it!
East Point's Own
April 24th, 2009
11:22 am
Romantic Songs/ Getting Busy songs ( in no particular order) (some song “titles” may be just lyrics.. but you know what I mean)
The Dream – Rockin that thang
Tweet- Smoking Cigarrettes
The whole Miles Davis “Loves Songs” CD
Adina Howard – Nasty Grind
Isley Bros.- Between the Sheets
Isley Bros – Groove To You
Teddy P. – Love T.K.O.
Sade – As good as the first time
Al Green – Let’s Stay Together
Al Green – Tired Of Being Alone
Donnell Jones – Where I wanna Be
Joe Tex – Skinny Leggs ( Just kidding… but I do love this song)
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
11:23 am
@LEGGS
yea, i came to the same conclusion. i’mma leave him alone, cause i like DU.
M'
April 24th, 2009
11:23 am
EPO
E’erbody know thtat outside of San Fran the the ATL is the drag fag capital of the world…period…and I am not talking about gay brothers…and yes, the men in the VA put the GA boys to shame…far more civil, chivalrous, generous, decent and respectful than the GA crew.
AmazonRed™
April 24th, 2009
11:24 am
To this day when we hear it we remember that night.
That’s sweet. It’s nice to have songs that remind you of a person or a lovely moment. When the slow jams come on at night and I’m driving, it’s like a trip down memeory lane of fond memories.
abc
April 24th, 2009
11:24 am
Something about the phrase “romantic night at the crib” cracks me up! It’s incongruous.
Wuffa you don’ won’ no candylie at da creeub?
Just struck me as funny.
I’d expect the guys to speculate that with a romantic date at home, you already have her most of the way there.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
11:25 am
LOL DuShawn. One night were listening to Sweet Love by Anita Baker. It was a single so it played over and over again. After about 3 or 4 rounds of uh…we were lying head to foot in the bed and the song began to play again, Mason took his foot and kicked the CD player off the nightstand and said “enough already, she’s happy”.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
11:26 am
**Donnell Jones – Where I wanna Be**
YES!!!
SexyCool
April 24th, 2009
11:26 am
DU – I was just about to point out that you were pulling the collective blog leg. I know you’ve posted some really wild things that you’ve done, but I KNEW that even you were not THAT far out there.
BTW,LMAO!
East Point's Own
April 24th, 2009
11:27 am
@ M’ Actually DC ranks higher than ATL according to whar I have read/heard but I’m not touching this topic any more than that for today.. LoL
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
11:29 am
@DU
i have to admit, i’m happy you were joking.
@AMAZON
when i hear a song on the radio that takes me back, i take the long way home or circle my block a couple of times.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
11:30 am
I have never had poetry read to me. Never. I’ve been serenaded many times. I have had pages out of books read but never poetry.
Grace
April 24th, 2009
11:30 am
abe some men are romantic at heart and those that aren’t say something like this——->“romantic night at the crib” cracks me up! It’s incongruous.
try steppin outside and explore!
East Point's Own
April 24th, 2009
11:33 am
Grace How ’bout a romantic night in my back yard at the crib? Is that outside enough for you? ( just bring your own mosquito repellant… )
abc
April 24th, 2009
11:34 am
EVERY night is a romantic night at my house. Lighten up, it’s funny.
M'
April 24th, 2009
11:34 am
EPO
Yeah come to think about it…ya prolly right…lol…truly…I forget about DC cuz it ain’t a state…it is still a district, right????…but uh, they do have a mean queen seen too…wonder if it is as live as MLK and Lowery on a Friday or Saturday night…lol.
Had some homies from Chi come down on year for hte Kool Jazz Festival…I lived in that area at the time…so we cruising down MLK…and my boy Vino is hanging his head out the window “hollering” at the “LADIES”…his boy Cecil kept telling him to look at the feet…lol…finally, he looked out the window, looked down at the feet and said “dayumm..they feet bigger thatn mine”…but yeah, they drag was too fine…lol
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
11:35 am
@DuShawn, I know you’re being silly!
Foots
April 24th, 2009
11:37 am
I have a tie for best home date:
1. Valentines Day a few years ago, my boyfriend at the time grilled me a seafood dinner, and had everything laid out so nicely. We fed each other strawberries and spent the rest of the night in each other’s arms. It was special all in itself that he planned and made the extra effort, but because it was him (and I loved him like no other), it was even more special.
2. I’ve talked about my first home date with my current man on here, the one where I got sick. He took such good care of me although he was looking pretty bewildered, and he even brought the movie to me on his laptop while I was laid out on his bed between sprints to the bathroom. I’m still surprised he called the next day.
We both still make good money, but we are trying to save more and eliminate debt, so we will be doing home dates more often. Valentines Day this year was spent at home, with king crab legs from Costco and a trip to the video store. I hate going out on Valentines Day, so it was perfect. Our trips to the video store are dates within themselves, we have so much fun trying to pick out a movie we both can watch.
kimmie
April 24th, 2009
11:39 am
Melo – Okay, without getting too wild, I will grant your request. It was actually New Years Eve 2007. I had been invited to this big party a friend of mine was giving that was being catered by this budding italian chef, so I was looking forward to it. SO had just gotten back from FL a few days earlier with the kids and had not made any real plans for NYE. I had to work earlier that day. My plan was to go home and shower & change for the party(casual, jeans & sweater). I was going to stop by and kiss him for the new year, chat for a minute and then head over to the party in Kennesaw. When I get over there, I realized this would be the first time I would be meeting the kids. They were busy playing with their toys from Christmas, so a big deal was not made about the whole meeting thing, which was good! It’s about 9:30. At about 10, the kids are worn out and SO puts them to bed. He had already served me a glass of some delicious Riesling! I had some more and we finished off a bottle and started on another. We had the tv on, but were feeling pretty good right about then. I realized I was not going to be making it to that party because I was too tipsy and after all it was NYE, bad on the roads. At about 11:30 he took the glass out of my hand and kissed me. I did not know what time it was and thought it was midnight, so I said Happy New Year! He laughed and said it was not time yet. We kissed our way from the great room to the bedroom upstairs. A half hour later – well let’s just say we brought the new year in right! I got something other than a kiss at midnight! I left out early before sunrise so as not to confuse the kids I had just met. He invited me to New Years dinner the next day at his sisters house and his parents were there.
Great way to start 2008!
Alter Ego
April 24th, 2009
11:44 am
Last night, I got a text message from a guy that I’ve recently begun dating. It said, “I guess I’ll see you there.” Thing was, he and I had not been texting about anything, much less meeting somewhere.
I responded with, “See me where?”
He came back with a lame reply of “Cleaning up my text messages. Sorry.”
My final response was “Wow. Um, yeah, okay. Whatever.”
I am inclined to let this lie where it fell. I’m not into playing these kinds of games with grown @ss men.
Your thoughts?
Foots
April 24th, 2009
11:45 am
SexyCool Surface clutter is cleared away. Kitchen is clean. Bathroom is spotless. Vacuum tracks are visible. Glade scented oil candles are lit. I’m wearing something comfortable, cute and just a little bit sexy without being too provocative. Brian McKnight sings.
Very nice. This is basically what I’m doing tonight. Make sure the house is clean and smelling good before he comes over. I’m cooking, so first we eat dinner, then we watch RayJ’s finale, since we didn’t watch it Monday, while eating dessert. Then I’m going to leave him downstairs, go on up and change into something extremely, blatantly provocative, light the candles, turn on the music, prepare the bed as a massage table, and text him to come upstairs. Should be a good night…
MELO
April 24th, 2009
11:46 am
I’d expect the guys to speculate that with a romantic date at home, you already have her most of the way there
I went the complete opposite with this girl, one time.
I set the date up at my crib.Had my domestic servant to dust up my little spot.My lounge was pretty small,as was the whole house,but very cozy for a bachelor.I got her fav drink,think it was vodka or gin,cant remember.Tony braxton’s first CD had just gotten out and i had it on deck.When u overseas in africa and u the guy who always has the latest joints(music),u the man!I had cousins in Boston who always filled me in with that kinda of stuff.
So she drove to my house later that nite,about 9pm ish,we ate some take out food that i had bought,all the while listening to Tony and sipping gin/voda and some tonic/lemonade.
She was dressed really classy for a nite ofcourse,leggy showing and her bosoom was real generous.
We stood up to dance,and had each other in arms.Huuuugh that nite was really sweet.More so coz that bosoom felt real good on my chest!!
Unlike Melo,i never pressured her for anything even tho i know,she proly wanted some!Not even a nidge from me,other than the rubs,soft kisses and the drunken stiff diccckk that played havoc with me that nite!!!
I dont think that was by design nor planning.It was what it was.But the memory and the cliffhanger kinda of ending is what mad the whole thing so sweet and memorable,in some ways.
Now,with dates like these,where the conclusion seemed anti-climatic(coz i didnt split it),i wld neva tell my homies ’bout it, the intimate details,that is!
I wldnt be able to stand their taunts,years after the event,each time we would meet the girl in town.
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
11:48 am
Being silly to a point!
I’ve tried one really romantic dinner while I was married that simply fell flat. He didn’t seem to care about all the work I put into it. The table was set, music on, just had to go upstairs and change clothes. Instead he wound up entertaining a male friend of his that stopped over and he never asked him to leave and the two wound up watching some dumba$$ game on tv. End of story!
SexyCool
April 24th, 2009
11:49 am
Go on then, Foots!!!
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
11:49 am
@Alter Ego
that happened to you too? it is what it is.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
11:52 am
@FOOTS
after watchin’ the shower scene on Ray J . . . trust me you’ll be in the mood. hot!
MELO
April 24th, 2009
11:54 am
Kimmie
thats what im talking about!!! good job..u left me tantalized and hanging, thinking ’bout what cld have gone down that nite! Thats off da chain….
Alter Ego
from a seasoned pro,hes playing u.That message was send to the wrong recipient,YOU!
I guess I’ll see you there
hes got another chic on deck!
AmazonRed™
April 24th, 2009
11:55 am
Alter Ego –
Where is your beef exactly? That he’s seeing other people? Or with his answer to your question about the text?
Foots
April 24th, 2009
11:57 am
Amazon It’s nice to have songs that remind you of a person or a lovely moment
Oh yeah…so true. I remember when I was in college, my boyfriend drove up to see me and we barricaded ourselved in my dorm room. I put “Love’s Holiday” by EWF on repeat and it was such a beautiful time spent together. Sigh….
Beautiful Girl, you think Where I Wanna Be is romantic? It’s about a dude that tells his girl he’s not coming home cause he’d rather be alone, and that he needs to take time off from their relationship (so he won’t cheat on her) because he hasn’t experienced many outside women. LOL!
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
11:58 am
@MELO
men are terrible cheaters. lol. y’all do dumb shiit.
Grace
April 24th, 2009
12:00 pm
why East you’re not providing the repellent!?! At least I don’t have to provide my own likka
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
12:02 pm
Romantic Song – Isley’s Brothers “Make me Say It Again” WHEW!
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
12:02 pm
@FOOTS
lol. i love it romantic or not. the other day i heard *rock wit you* by mj. so sweet.
Alter Ego
April 24th, 2009
12:06 pm
Melo – My sentiments exactly.
Amazon Red – Game recognizes game. That’s the beef that I have.
Foots
April 24th, 2009
12:07 pm
Alter Ego Ish happens. In the beginning of any relationship, it’s safe to assume that the person you start dating is talking to at least one other person. He did send the text to the wrong person. It wasn’t suggestive and it could have been to another girl or even one of his boys. Tease him about it, laugh about it, and charge that one to the game.
I have no idea how many times that when I first started dating a new guy, I mentioned a conversation I thought we had, but it wasn’t actually him. The mature ones thought it was really funny.
Now if y’all are exclusive, that may change my answer, depending on what was in the text. But to this day, I still forget which conversations I’ve had with my boyfriend and which I’ve had with platonic friends. He still thinks its funny.
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
12:09 pm
The one thing about that text is using the words “I guess.” Almost like “I don’t want to do this!”
Foots
April 24th, 2009
12:09 pm
Beautiful It’s one of the most beautiful breakup songs out there, that’s for sure. That one and Jermaine Jackson’s Don’t Take It Personal. They both almost make you feel good about somebody leaving you. LOL!
I love No Rhyme, No Reason by George Duke. It’s basically about cheating, but it’s absolutely beautiful. Secret Garden is too dayum sexy!!
M'
April 24th, 2009
12:11 pm
@Leggs
I am also partial to “Miracles” (the long version) by Jefferson Starship…”I got a taste of the real world…” love the lyrics and mood of that song…talking about the groovy feeling of getting on…lol
Foots
April 24th, 2009
12:14 pm
Leggs Oh, that’s the worst, when you have everything all planned out, but it all goes wrong. I planned this lovely white tablecloth and napkin dinner for my boyfriend last year, complete with me cooking some new, sensual foods. I did the rose petal thing, spent $80 on groceries, 3 hours cooking, and I dressed up…only for him to tell me that he wouldn’t be able to come over because he was on call and had to dial in to complete some work. I was so disappointed, and I ended up telling him about my surprise. He was so apologetic, and offered to come over late, but my heart was already broken. We did the do-over the next day, but it wasn’t the same.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
12:16 pm
my MOST romantic night was when i was dating a r&b singer. he left word for me that my name was left at the door. he had a small intimate concert that night in san francisco with toni, tony, tone.
when i reached the door, a body guard stepped forward and said “this way please”. it was great having ppl looking at me like who’s that? i was led to the lil round candlelit table in the front row. the club was dark and had this soft romantic feel to it. i told the body guard that i wanted to be with steve . . . please take me to him.
backstage was where the party was at. lots of food and famous ppl. as we walked thru the crown, i bumped into raphael saadiq. how exciting! we got to steve’s dressing room filled with girls of course. we had so much fun.
afterwards, we all headed to the hotel. did a little bit more of meeting and talkin’ with folks. then we finally retired to our room. it was like 3am and i was wide awake. the room was gorgeous, the flowers were lovely, the love making was awesome.
i hated that it had to end.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
12:17 pm
AlterEgo you should have responded saying “okay I’ll be there” and that would have confused the heck out of him.
DuShawn
April 24th, 2009
12:19 pm
When I was in my mid twenties, I was a helluava date. I lived in a condo overlooking Biscayne Bay, right down from Bayside, which is like an Atlantic Station, but on the water. I had a little grill on my balcony. I’d fire up the steaks, lobster tails and colossal shrimp kabobs. The moonlight shimmering off the water always set the vibe. After dinner, we would walk down the street to Bayside. They have these Gondola rides for about 10 bucks, makes you feel like you’re in Venice. On the way back home I would stop by the 1800 club. That was my neighborhood watering hole. It was a real off the beaten path, intimate hang out, with live jazz. They had these Trolley rides ($5 a piece) that take you thru downtown. Its cool, fun and gives you a chance to further your campaign. Afterwards, we’d take the leisurely stroll back to the spot. Now, your home date has included a tour of the neighborhood. Mayne, I used to kill them back in the day. Now, I just watch the kids tear up the house, stuff toys in my CD player, and count the grey hairs on my nutz as I take a dump. I was the man, what the hell happened?
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
12:19 pm
AWWWWWW, I feel you Foots
Jefferson Starship is GOOD….on the other side of the spectrum, I love Mishelle’s (sp?) Do Me Baby!
AmazonRed™
April 24th, 2009
12:20 pm
Game recognizes game. That’s the beef that I have.
What game tho? You said you recently started dating him. Are y’all exclusive?
M'
April 24th, 2009
12:24 pm
@Du
The change in the scene comes along with going gray down south…lol
Alter Ego
April 24th, 2009
12:25 pm
OMG! I feel STRAIGHT CRAZY right now. I just went back through my phone and realized that this is a duplicate of a text message that he sent to me a week ago when we were talking about whether or not he was going to pick me up or meet me at the restaurant.
Just wow.
Y’all please disregard the glimpses into my paranoia.
DJ Sniper
April 24th, 2009
12:26 pm
What’s good people? I’ve been lurking on here for a while, and I finally decided to post. Looking forward to some fun on here.
Anyway, I’ll admit that I’m not much of a romantic person(a big complaint that my wife has), but when we were first starting to date, I invited her over one night after I got off work. I had all the lights off, music playing, and candles burning. She came in and I fixed her a drink and we chatted for a while. We went into the bedroom and there were more candles burning. I undressed her, had her lie face down on the bed, and I gave her a very relaxing massage. You can pretty much guess where the evening went after that.
Kym aka Patty Hewes
April 24th, 2009
12:27 pm
Some lyrics from Ooe of my most favorite romantic songs..
Each night I pray for you..cause that’s how much I care for you.
I want to make your dreams come true..theres nothing I wouldn’t do.
Place a rose beside your pillow. Hold you close whenever the wind blows.
These are just the things that I do for love.
Your thoughts are importatnt to me I listen to each word you speak.
I hold you so very gently your so dear to me.
And I’ll be there, whenever you cry to wipe the tears away from your eyes..these are just the things that I do for love.
Walter Beasley-Things that I do for Love.
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
12:27 pm
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
12:30 pm
@Alter Ego
but wouldn’t his text to you say *duplicate* on it? i’m glad you saw that this was an error.
AmazonRed™
April 24th, 2009
12:33 pm
I feel STRAIGHT CRAZY right now.
You were a bit dramatic, but I’ve been there. Just glad you realized it til you messed up something with potential.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
12:34 pm
its been a minute since i thought about STEVE. i just texted him hello.
Alter Ego
April 24th, 2009
12:36 pm
Beautiful – I considered that. Since I have a new cell provider, I sent myself two back to back TEST messages. The duplicate did not come up like it used to with my old provider. Go figure.
Speaking of cell service providers, what are you guys opinions on the best providers/packages?
DJ Sniper
April 24th, 2009
12:40 pm
Alter Ego, I’ve had T Mobile for the past 4 years and I’ve had no complaints with their service. I think my plan is $49.99/month with unlimited nights and weekends and 1000 text messages. The coverage is pretty good, and I really don’t have a problem with dropped calls like I did when I had Sprint. Check them out and see what you think.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
12:40 pm
Awesome love scene for two: Pretty much anything centered around a rainy Sunday or Saturday afternoon.
Whether it’s sitting in an offbeat café sharing a cup of java or at home relaxing together listening the rain beat against the house while reading the paper together. Or watching an old movie while lying on oversized pillows strewn on the floor. Or making lunch together while you in your undies and he shirtless in his loose fitting jeans.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
12:42 pm
LMAO
SexyCool
April 24th, 2009
12:44 pm
Alter Ego – Was there some past experience that immediately took you down that thought path?
Having experienced a lot of the “Games People Play”, I sometimes have a hard time distinguishing between instinct and the paranoia you mentioned. I like to think that I can give the next person a clean slate, but it can become quite difficult to not judge current situations based on past experiences. It’s that whole “Once burned, twice shy” phenomenon.
Grace
April 24th, 2009
12:44 pm
Pretty much right DJ T Mobile has great customer service and the packages are very economical, never had a drop call since I’ve been with them.
Alter good thing you check back before you said/did something you would regret.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
12:46 pm
@Alter Ego
yes, every manuf’s device is different. that’s why it’s tough for me to switch phones when it’s time to upgrade. i give my upgrades to my boys. my 9 yr old has the motorola krave with touch screen. too much for me.
try verizon. i love how i can manage and change things on my plan online w/o calling them. been with them since 2004.
DJ Sniper
April 24th, 2009
12:54 pm
Grace, you’re right about their customer service. Whenever I have to call them, I usually don’t have to sit on hold for very long before I talk to someone, and just about everybody I’ve talked with has been very pleasant and has been willing to help me in whatever way I needed.
Grace
April 24th, 2009
12:57 pm
love it how they make adjustments to your bill if you go over your minutes/texts. Sprint has NEVER done that for me, and then they charge 5 bucks to pay your bill in the store (argh)
SlimOne
April 24th, 2009
1:04 pm
Hey ya’ll. As nerve wrecking as that 3hr test was yesterday for Southern Company, I passed.
One of the romantic home dates I planned, I went out and got a whole bunch of those little tea candles and placed them all around my apt. I had cut up all sorts of fruit (kiwi, strawberries, grapes, pineapple, apple etc) I placed them on a tray in a heart shape. I had bought some silk rose petals and had them all over the floor. I blew up like freaking 50 red balloons and had them on the floor everywhere also….but just like FOOTS, the dude for some reason or another called and said he wasn’t going to be able to make it till the next day. So needless to say, the next day when he came over it lost it’s effect. Its kind of hard to see the effect of tea candles at 12 in the afternoon. LOL! Either way i was proud of my effort and he still appreciated it too.
Speaking of the playlists, i had some of the best Mouth-work done on me listening to Ushers Seduction for the first time…and on repeat at that
DJ Sniper
April 24th, 2009
1:05 pm
Hold up, T Mobile will adjust your bill if you go over your texts? I need to call them right now, cuz I’m damn sure over my alloted amount of texts. lol
MELO
April 24th, 2009
1:15 pm
i had some of the best Mouth-work done on me listening to Ushers Seduction for the first time…and on repeat at that
AmazonRed™
April 24th, 2009
1:15 pm
Was there some past experience that immediately took you down that thought path?
Excellent question. Cuz it’s not a good sign if you start thing that game recognizes game when you receive a text that’s not even suggestive!
Grace
April 24th, 2009
1:26 pm
check them out DJ
M'
April 24th, 2009
1:27 pm
This is such bloody deplorable…I hope they put this woman away for life…
http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/shared-gen/ap/National/US_Body_in_Storage.html?cxntlid=inform_artr
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
1:41 pm
Melo?
Foots
April 24th, 2009
1:44 pm
Sniper That sounds nice. So what’s keeping you from turning on the romance now?
MELO
April 24th, 2009
1:47 pm
Not me,Raqi.Thats was a SLIMONE quote.
I wld neva originate nor post such vile!
MELO
April 24th, 2009
1:48 pm
Congrats Slim!!
Foots
April 24th, 2009
1:51 pm
YAY SLIM!!!!
Kym aka Patty Hewes
April 24th, 2009
1:53 pm
Blog Shout OUT
While this has nothing what so ever to do with the topic..I just felt like screaming this…I NEED MORE COWBELL!!!! I love that skit from saturday night live.
Okay back to your regularly scheduled blog.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
1:55 pm
just hung up with STEVE. he returned my text which is shocking cause he’s so busy. i told him that i posted our most romantic night story. he laughed and said “oh yea, we had fun”. lol. yep!
such a great guy.
what’s the topic now?
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
1:58 pm
Oh Melo I’m sorry. What was I possibly thinking? LOL
Grace
April 24th, 2009
2:03 pm
Beautiful how does it feel up there on cloud 9
DJ Sniper
April 24th, 2009
2:06 pm
Foots, I wish I had a concrete answer. As I said earlier, I’ve just never been much of a romantic type of guy. I know that needs to change, but at this stage of my life, I’m not sure it could change. There are some other things going on that I won’t discuss here, but let’s just say that even if I did manage to make drastic improvements in the romance department, I don’t know if it would make a difference.
kimmie
April 24th, 2009
2:08 pm
Fabulous Slim, Congrats!
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:10 pm
Kym I was watching Regis Monday and they were talking about SNL with Chevy Chase. I haven’t seen an episode of that show in forever. Actually Chevy Chase was probably still on there the last time I saw it.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
2:11 pm
but let’s just say that even if I did manage to make drastic improvements in the romance department, I don’t know if it would make a difference
Cme on DJ, u sounding so despondent as if u sewed off that couchie,whats up with that??!!! Everybody needs a makeover eve now and then.Are u shy to be romantic and go out to prey on men(i mean to look ofcourse)Are u a prude,u got hormonal imbalance,what is it??
Do u need a therapist? I can help u with that thgerapy at no cost to u…u deserve to be happy,dont u think??
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:16 pm
DJ romance can be the simplest of gestures. You got nothing?
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:17 pm
Okay first DJ are you male or female? Melo’s comment to you just got me all confused.
Grace
April 24th, 2009
2:20 pm
Melo I think DJ is a man, hence – “I’ve just never been much of a romantic type of guy.
The Truth-Wearing a towel on my head and nothingelse while doing dishes
April 24th, 2009
2:20 pm
Congrats Slimgina.
Setting it out for someone is alot of fun. Cooking, planning the night and preparing the drink. The thing is it cant be about sex. That may be a by product but not the main goal. Just breaking bread and enjoying the experience.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
2:21 pm
@GRACE
oh, he’s not a love interest of mine. just a good friend.
@DJ
yep! placing a love note in his pocket is romantic.
MissQC
April 24th, 2009
2:24 pm
Hello everyone
hope you all are having a ‘great Friday’ having a date @ “your place or mine” can always be a nice thing to do…coming to my place i would have all your favorite everything of course…as for me i’m not hard to please as long as i’m with “THE 1 I LOVE” is alright with me…Enjoy the rest of your Friday and do have a BLESSED WEEKEND!
SMOOCHES
http://www.blackthen.com
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
2:24 pm
@ SlimOne, congratulations!
I have no complaints w/T-Mobile…and you’re right, they have excellent customer service! Did you know if you find yourself late w/your bill you can call on the day it’s due and only pay $10.00 toward the bill and pay the rest at least 2 weeks down the road! Had to do this twice now! Not a bad setup.
With a name of DJ Sniper hope it’s a male!
MELO
April 24th, 2009
2:25 pm
Yeah Grace,sorry, i went back and re-read some of the entries.Had missed that.
Well,DJ,U seem to be treading on some dangerous territory buddy,esp if shes tellin u that u arent being romantic! If she gets treated/hinted/flirted with at by some pro,even without him doing anything guilty,but only sugesting,ur behind may be to the left,to the left, in no time!
Shes proly missing sme and mouthing it to u.
Pay attn or u be sorry!
MissQC
April 24th, 2009
2:25 pm
KUDOS “SLIM”
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:29 pm
Good for you Slim.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
2:29 pm
I have a movie/dinner date today at Phipps actually!
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:31 pm
DJ tomorrow is suppose to be a lovely day so maybe you can take her to the park and have a picnic. Start there.
A park with the least amount of kids the better. Maybe one with a fountain or a pond.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:32 pm
Melo what are you seeing?
SlimOne
April 24th, 2009
2:33 pm
Thanks for all the congrats!!!
Melo I know you aren’t talking about not posting such vileness. whatever!
Truth you know I have the biggest CT that you ever seen…so slimgina is a total oxymoron. lol
LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 24th, 2009
2:33 pm
Alter- Yall belong with each other
DJ Sniper
April 24th, 2009
2:36 pm
Melo, it’s no problem for the confusion. I’m sure I ain’t the first person that’s happened to. lol For anybody else who may be wondering, I’m a guy.
The lack of romance ain’t the only issue; there’s a lot more going on. We both have our issues, but I’ll admit that I haven’t lived up to my end of the bargain in this marraige.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:37 pm
Leggs did you forget about DJ Tanner of FullHouse? LOL
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:37 pm
Oh you are married? Dang I missed a whole lot. LOL
MELO
April 24th, 2009
2:46 pm
@Raqi,
We were torn tween Obsession and Soloist.
But we decided to do Beyonce/Idriss today,go home,take a joint shower and then blaze awaay till saturday and then Jamie,sunday nite.
We have to set the tone for tonite and i think that beyonce thing will set the mood for the rest of jrney back home and into our evening.
but I’ll admit that I haven’t lived up to my end of the bargain in this marraige
U have come to the right place.Have u done anything that cannot be undone??Cheated or u talking simple stuff like money etc.Any kids??
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:49 pm
DJ a good place to start? Send her to the spa tomorrow while you stay home clean the entire house and do the laundry. She will love you for that.
LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 24th, 2009
2:51 pm
MK- I have NO idea how/why people do such HORRIBLE things to their children!!! It makes me sick!
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:52 pm
DJ make her breakfast in bed tomorrow or Sunday morning. You can cook, right?
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
2:53 pm
**Hey ya’ll. As nerve wrecking as that 3hr test was yesterday for Southern Company, I passed**
good for you girlie!
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:54 pm
And also with the breakfast give her a just because thank you card for being the wonderful wife that she is.
DJ Sniper
April 24th, 2009
2:54 pm
Melo, we don’t have any kids, unless you count the 4 legged one with fur. lol Money has been a bit of an issue. Bills are always paid, so we’ve never been in danger of being evicted or having utilities disconnected, but there are times when we just seem to be on two different pages financially. She works part time and goes to school full time, so her funds are kinda limited at the moment, and I haven’t been as financially supportive as I probably should be. I’ll also admit to still having a selfish streak, i.e. thinking in terms of “me” as opposed to “us”. That probably comes from me never really being in a serious relationship until this one(prior to my wife, 6 months was the longest I was ever with anybody).
I’m not even gonna lie; part of me wants to work on that issue, and part of me is like, “f**k it, this is who I am.”
Raqi, pay attention in class. lol
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:55 pm
Take her shopping and you pick out the outfit complete with shoes and accessories. You do have good taste, right?
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
2:56 pm
Good one, Raqi. I was concentrating on the “sniper” part of the name.
@DJ, nice that you admit you haven’t done the best in your marriage. Well, since you guys are still married and if you’re not talking about divorce, it’s never to late. Start tomorrow and do something. Bet neither one of you have smiled toward each other in a long time. If there are still embers glowing, step up and do something. It’s going to be absolutely gorgeous tomorrow. The park and picnic sounds lovely if both your schedules allow it. How about it?
DJ Sniper
April 24th, 2009
2:58 pm
Raqi, I have to DJ a party tomorrow afternoon, so most of my day is pretty much occupied. I do know how to cook, so the breakfast in bed idea is worth a try.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
2:58 pm
Well tell the part of you that don’t to take a backseat because you are going to romance your wife this weekend.
Simple does it.
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
2:59 pm
OH YEAH, THOSE JUST BECAUSE THANK YOU CARDS ARE PRICELESS!
MELO
April 24th, 2009
3:00 pm
and I haven’t been as financially supportive as I probably should be
seems u already know whats wrong,rest is up to u to change it or not.Are u supportive of her going to school,opposed,jealous of it or indifferent? U make more bread than her now,u think that will remain the same after shes done??
Im asking coz as a dude,that weighs on most dudes minds.U dnt seem to have many issues,form my gleaning,other than that shes in school,so most of her time is spend on school stuff.And school pple are church mouse thrifty/poor with money and their time is spend studying etc.Either u are with her on that programme or u not,RIGHT?
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
3:02 pm
Ok, cook breakfast and cuddle in bed with her a little longer, then get ready for the party. Is she coming to the party w/you? If not, how about inviting her.
How long have you been married?
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
3:04 pm
DJ if she likes to take shower in the morning, go in start her shower, have her a nice clean soft tower sitting out and her robe. While she is showering you make breakfast, waffles are my personal favorite
and they are easy, then bring it up to her with the card. If she likes to read the paper have the section that she prefers with the breakfast.
Unless your wife is an evil b!tch you will be sitting pretty for the next few days simply because she will not see it coming.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
3:04 pm
@DJ
compromise. tomorrow is a new day. it’s never too late to be the man you need to be for your wife. she is the most important thing, right?
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
3:05 pm
Seems like both of you need to show each other some appreciation. Raqi spelled it out nicely.
AmazonRed™
April 24th, 2009
3:06 pm
My co workers and I have been hanging outside. Started at lunch. Then trash talking began and an impromptu bball game began. It’s so nice outside and you could tell folks were tired and full and no one was focused on work. The HR director was in the group and she’s letting all of go home at 3:30 as long as we don’t tell the owner. He’ll come out of his office around 4 and wonder where everyone is.
Love it.
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
3:07 pm
Awwww shucks, there are icees here in the freezer and I want one, but don’t know who they belong to. Man o man. When I opened the freezer the green one shouted my name! To think I meant to bring some from home and forgot. This is sheer torture for me! Sorry, carry on….
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
3:07 pm
When you give her the breakfast give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her this is her time and you are going to leave her alone to enjoy it.
Have your energy drink ready just in case, but if not don’t even expect anything in return. It’s all about her.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
3:10 pm
as long as we don’t tell the owner
Owner??
Didnt know u work for Jermaine Dupri, Ared.
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
3:10 pm
And guess what you get to go in another room and be your old selfish self again while she enjoys her moment.
And don’t have a pile of dishes waiting for her to clean up later. LOL
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
3:11 pm
@DJ
sounds like to me you’re in a rut. get out and fast!
who has sexy plans this w/e?
MELO
April 24th, 2009
3:12 pm
Have your energy drink ready just in case
Raqi??
U telling me there is an energy drink that can really take u there?? Really?? which one….and hw long after u drank it??
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
3:12 pm
Some days I just don’t go back and read my own comments…the typos are just to much. LOL
tower…towel. tower…towel.
Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)
April 24th, 2009
3:14 pm
A good Friday to everyone in Blogsville!
Romancing/cooking dinner for a woman is the best!
I once was dating a 4th grade teacher and who had some bad azz kids in her class. So on one Friday I left work early and order her a 12 dozen roses that were white, yellow and pink!
Placed in the bouquet was a note stating how much I enjoy her company and to meet me at my place for dinner that night. I cooked some of her favorite foods for dinner while we drink her favorite wine (merlot) while relaxing to sounds of Grover Washington and later finishing with Joe.
After dinner we relaxed then I proceed to give her a full body massaged on my warm waterbed, this was winter time in the Midwest. Then we watch one of her favorite movies ( Spike Lee’s School Daze)! What a weekend that turn out to be!
@Foots I like how you are working it for your SO, keep up the good works!
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
3:14 pm
LOL Melo the energy drink will be for him. She just might want to thank him over and over and over again. Knucklehead
However if she doesn’t it is all good because he is expecting nothing in return. Right DJ?
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
3:17 pm
DJ go out tonight and buy her some nice lingerie to wear under her robe so she can feel pretty and sexy while enjoying her breakfast.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
3:20 pm
waterbed?
Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)
April 24th, 2009
3:23 pm
Men we need to represent and give cards, send flowers, do massages and let these wonderful women know how much we appreciate them!
@Melo if you need cialis or viagra I know a docter who will give you some for free!
Staceye: I hope you do not store up all that passion and imagination forever!
…. I see the problem Mamba foreigners don’t know how to appreciate a queen like you!
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
3:23 pm
Vickies probably has a sale going on right now. She always does. But if not go to retailmenot.com and find some coupons that you can probably use.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
3:28 pm
Neva mind ur suggestions to DJ,hiz problem with wify is money coz he aint opening the wallet enough for her.
Thats a problem i solved long time ago once i decided i wanted this one to birth my kids,take care of the future generation i re-created and do some stuff for me here and there and there! I give her most of my money other than the one I invest.
When u do that to a woman DJ,her floodgates OF romance and evething else opens up! Her pores(literally) all open up and she always has a glow about her.Coz shes happy!
A mad/unhappy/grudging woman,no matter how much she tries to spruce herself up,will still look dour,ugly and unglamorous.A fincially secure one,and happy will look vibrant,bright and fabulous.
Another thing,since u seem to be recent married:hang with dudes who are married and in ur mind,act married.The more u hang with unmarried dudes,the more detached and drifting u get from ur devoted wife.
Topic
April 24th, 2009
3:29 pm
I have come to realize that special moments like weddings are not to be shared with those who you are ‘casually’ dating.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
3:32 pm
Melo if you need cialis or viagra I know a docter who will give you some for free
I got inshearance buddy! no thanx (not insuarance).
besides,cialis and viagra have nothing on my zulu herb concoation!
Raqi
April 24th, 2009
3:35 pm
Melo really? So you think if you all just give us money then we good? Sweetie we want your time and your thoughtfulness also. Package baby…the whole package. Just like one part of us is not the all for you men folk, your wallets to help provide is not all we seek and desire.
We really do like spending time with you all. And we love the nice things that you all take the time to do.
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
3:43 pm
You should have realized that from the gitgo!
Cougar Hunter ( My, My, My)
April 24th, 2009
3:44 pm
@melo O.K. send me some of that Zulu concoation!
@ Raqi of course we are providing more then money because women have lot of needs! As well as providing for you financially men willing take part in stimulating you mentally, spiritually, romantically, and physically! That is one of our many jobs!
I feel like a jamaican now! Taking care of a woman is a lot of work!
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
3:44 pm
LOL @Melo, you still spelled it wrong. Funny!
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
3:48 pm
ok, i’ll bite. why is it wrong to take someone to a wedding you are dating?
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
3:51 pm
First of all I read it wrong because I thought sharing pictures or magazines. Not once did I think of an actual wedding. I know, left field. Anyway, casually dating and dating aren’t the same to me!
LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 24th, 2009
3:52 pm
Melo- I agree with your 3:28 comment!
Have a wonderful & safe weekend ALL
Foots
April 24th, 2009
3:59 pm
Sniper A little romance goes a long way. It’s one thing if you CAN’T do it, and it’s a whole ‘nother thing if you CAN but WON’T. Which is it?
Take it from a woman, sometimes, just a “I’m thinking of you” text message, or the offer of a foot rub, or the suggestion of taking a walk together is extremely romantic and can reduce tension in the relationship. Just so she knows that you’re trying to address an issue that she’s identified to you. Then you can identify an issue for her to address at another time.
And I say this because my man isn’t terribly romantic, although if I bring something to his attention and he knows it won’t kill him to do it (most things won’t), he’s the type of man who will try. Even if we are mad and arguing. He tries, he doesn’t ignore, and that’s what makes all the difference. And it makes me want to try. Sometimes, if you want to be the leader, you have to lead.
And I must say, melo is giving good tips as a married man.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
4:02 pm
So you think if you all just give us money then we good
Thats a starting point.U cant take her to dinner if she has a mugg face on her.She wont even agree to the dinner.cook out etc.
Make sure shes feeling secure 1st!After that, shes happy and willing to accept a nite on the town!
DJ Sniper
April 24th, 2009
4:04 pm
Melo, her going back to school isn’t an issue at all. If she ends up making more money than me, so be it. I’m not concerned about that. I’m fully on board with her furthering her education.
Leggs, the parties that I DJ are mainly bar mitzvahs, so it’s not like a grown folks party. Besides, I think she has to work tomorrow morning anyway. We’ve only been married for about a year and three months. Damn shame it’s already like this huh? lol
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
4:06 pm
@LEGGS
it would be a great idea actually. if you haven’t already, it would be a perfect time to see him all dressed up and looking handsome. you would be able to see him in that type of environment where marriage is in the air. is he nervous? is he comfortable? does he want to try and catch the thingybobber? he may even ask you the question. how do you feel about getting married? do you want to be married someday? this would be your opportunity to gather info about a man who you may see one day as your husband. just my .02.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
4:10 pm
**We’ve only been married for about a year and three months**
the first five yrs are the toughest.
Foots
April 24th, 2009
4:10 pm
Raqi I kinda get what Melo is saying, but from another point of view. I love quality time and thoughtfulness, fidelity, consideration and romance just as much as the next woman. Those are things I value. And if a man gives me what I value, although he may not value it as much as I do, I’m good. Until I start wishing that he gave me something that HE really valued…
But what do most dudes value most? Money. If he freely and happily gave me what he valued the most, it says a great deal about the way he feels about me.
It would be the same way if my man had nearly no free time and so he placed his value on how he spent his time, and he chose to spend all his free time with me. Although he may not have a dime and we did nothing but look at each other in that time, I’d be beaming because he gave me what HE valued most.
It’s about the real sacrifices we make to make each other happy. Melo’s wife knows that he values his money. And if he gives it all to her, she knows that he values her MORE than his money, and it makes her happy. That’s how I take it.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
4:18 pm
Melo’s wife knows that he values his money
Foots,u Damn right.In the beginnning, i cldnt do it.
I have given my young brothers my kinda recipe on that.They all give excuses,well u know, its wont wrk on us coz blah,blah,blah.But in truth i know,their maturity level hasnt reached mine yet.
When my fam(wife) dont have to wait on me to buy this or that for her and kids and me coz the money is in the bank,I am happy!
Our marriage is an open book.What wld i need the money for, if not for her,me and kids obligations???
Foots
April 24th, 2009
4:18 pm
And you know what? That last post of mine helped me identify what my man’s beef with me was last week. Go figure!
Beautiful I remember once when I was about to be on the outs with a dude, and he asked me to go to a wedding with him (one of his best friends was getting married). I basically said “hellz no”. I didn’t want him to be getting any warm and fuzzy ideas.
Weddings are all about making a commitment. There’s nothing wrong with taking someone you aren’t committed to, but it could make things a little uncomfortable if weddings make one of them start thinking along those lines and the other one isn’t. I’ve always found that I meet dudes when I go to weddings solo. I’ve never taken a date to one.
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
4:19 pm
Naw, disagree w/you Beautiful. I would much rather see my man dressed up with us going somewhere and not to someone’s wedding. My man won’t ask me these questions at someone’s wedding because he will already know where I stand long before he’s a date of mine at a friend’s wedding. I get what your saying, but it won’t fit for me! At a wedding is the last place I want to gather information from someone.
@DJ, when you said you had an to dj in the afternoon, I was wondering what type of gig you might have. Also, you need to do something quick and spice your marriage up. Before you know it you’ll be in a deep rut and just married 2 years. Marriage takes more you think, as you are clearly now seeing. You need to shake those smoldering embers to the point that they start sizzling. A humdrum marriage leads to so many unnecessary problems. If this marriage is what you want, then FIX IT before it’s too late.
MELO
April 24th, 2009
4:23 pm
bar mitzvahs,meaning what DJ?
Poppa Grande
April 24th, 2009
4:29 pm
I don’t know if you all are still on topic. I’ve been studying all day for final examinations which start next week. So, I thought to peep in as a break.
I’ve mentioned her setting the mood once by preparing dinner and the mood while I was out watching college football with my friends. She was wearing a catsuit when I returned.
I’ve prepared dinner for her as well. A couple of weeks ago, I put together some shrimp kabobs and grilled them along with a london broil. I also grilled some zucchini, yellow squash, vidialia onions in balsamic vinegar. When she got home from work, there was this dinner with Tony Toni Tone’s song “What ever you want”, which was followed by Whatever by Jill Scott, and a few other songs along the same them of “whatever” including “Be our guest” from Beauty and the Beast. She caught on to the theme of the songs and was really appreciative. Thanks to itunes you can make a CD with any songs that you want
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
4:30 pm
EThe blog machine is hungry again!
No, it wouldn’t be a place for me to see him all dressed up. Nor would I need to answer any questions like the ones you posed because my date would know the answers way before we arrived at someone’s wedding.
@DJ, I was wondering what type of gig you had that you dj’d for in the afternoon. Anyway, sorry you’re feeling the way you’re feeling in such a short time of being married. I suggest you get those smoldering embers back to a full fledge sizzle. Seems like both of you have some work to do. If you want this marriage to grow, start now. Marriage is very hard work and you don’t want to find yourself in a rut at year 2. From what I’ve witnessed, that 7-year itch is a biotch, so is the 11th year….get ready!
Jamoca
April 24th, 2009
4:31 pm
Hey you all…and btw, that’s great Slim and congrats!!! LOL @ Skool Daze. I haven’t seen that movie in ages..big laughs…”Big Brutha Al-migh-tee!”
On Topic
I remember back when I was holding down at least 4 different jobs: OB/Gyn office, Night Auditor, waitress…AND cleaning houses (and occasionally a nanny)!
Well anyway, there was a fellow who’s home I cleaned …a cozy little beach rental over in the Clearwater area every two weeks or so. Real classy, mild-mannered, handsome, middle-aged guy in his early 40’s.
Well anyway…one afternoon I was over to his place for a routine cleaning. I’m rushing around the place trying to get ‘er done by 6pm…since I was supposedly going to hang out with a couple of my cousins, going out to eat, and catching a good movie…you know… esp since the girls were with their god-parents for the weekend.
I tell you, if I did not dust mop those hardwood floors till I saw myself in them…and of course…very slippery…dayum near broke my neck when I fell as I somehow stepped on a sharp, tiny object. And to top it off, I twist my ankle a little.
So there I was…to make my change and could not do a dayum thang.
My head, foot and ankle were killing me. He came right downstairs, helped me up and asked me, if I’d like to take a rest in one the guest bedrooms. Of course, I said yes…and I slept, and slept and slept (lol)…found myself sitting up in the bed as the sun went down. Limped myself down the stairs and found that he had hooked up a little seafood, and had the place lit with a few candles and some Duke Ellington…even offered me a drink. Asked me how I was feeling and if I had to call and see about my girls and/or work tomorrow. He even had a little spot out on the deck for me to sit and enjoy the scenery, set out his foot massager and even wrapped my ankle for me.
I remembered when he finished, while still holding my right foot in his hand and looked up at me and said “There now, all better.” It was a look of endearment and extremely personal…welcoming even, and from what I sensed, although, I never really inquired nor did I unleash those can of worms. Although, honestly, he was extremely intriguing…but something held me back. Sometimes, I can just kick myself. Lol
I was almost in tears and could not stop thanking him. Came back outside, gave me an envelope and paid me for that day and generously gave me extra, since I knew I would not be available for work the following day and that I could definitely use the extra $$ having my girls…as he said, “you know, we all could use a little break every now and then. So don’t take this as a handout, but a hand-up” from me.
He wasn’t my man and regardless of my “status”….it was nice being cared for and waited on…especially since, he did not owe me a thing.
I never forgot that.
SlimOne
April 24th, 2009
4:33 pm
i want some habachi shrimp, who wants to treat?
Jamoca
April 24th, 2009
4:33 pm
Sorr…ohhh, nevamind…lol! Ya’ll know I don’t mean to.
Foots
April 24th, 2009
4:34 pm
Jamoca That’s a great story… AWWWWW!!! Now THAT man was sweet!
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
4:35 pm
SlimOne, a co-worker and I had habachi shrimp for lunch yesterday. It was delicious, especially with the yum yum sauce!
MELO
April 24th, 2009
4:37 pm
One of my african homies does the shopping for hiz fam.The wife tells Queen that he goes to publix/walmart etc himself and shops for all the groceries etc.
From what i know about the dude,besides just being so old school,muther fckker is attempting to hide money and “”free”" himself from the shackless of open finance policy in his home.Dont know how the wife accepted it or tolerates it but from the lil i hear,she not happy at all and is frustrated.
When u start operating this way,ur marriage is always ups and dwns of drama.Dont like that drama esp if i am with a woman that i luv.
SlimOne
April 24th, 2009
4:39 pm
Aww man! I’m starving, i haven’t eaten at all today. I didn’t realize it was almost 5!
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
4:43 pm
How in the heck do you go all day w/o eating???
SlimOne
April 24th, 2009
4:44 pm
Leggs, I’m not exactly sure because I normally start to feel faintish if i go too long without eating. I told ya’ll i was depressed so maybe that has something to do with it. I’m feeling the hungry headache now though.
Foots
April 24th, 2009
4:45 pm
Melo My dad was so dayum stingy with his money that he tried to give my mother pre-filled in checks to go grocery shopping with. She had to tear them up in his face a few times before he got the message.
Poppa Grande
April 24th, 2009
4:45 pm
Leggs
Marriage is very hard work and you don’t want to find yourself in a rut at year 2. From what I’ve witnessed, that 7-year itch is a biotch, so is the 11th year….get ready!
I consider it to be the ultimate recycling job. Turning old loving into new loving over and over again. Can’t let things get stale, and be the main priroity in each other’s lives.
Like Teddy Pendergrass said, it can’t be 60/40 or 70/30….
Leggs
April 24th, 2009
4:49 pm
The ultimate recycling job…I likes that! You’re absolutely correct!
@SlimOne, I don’t eat MUCH when I’m down either, but to go all day while at work and not eat would have me chopping people kneecaps off. You need to put something in your stomach. All your biorhythms are way OFF on top of being depressed.
SlimOne
April 24th, 2009
4:53 pm
I find it funny that my cousin’s real estate agent has been trying to holla at me….the catch is he’s 58yrs old to my 30…WOW!
Poppa Grande
April 24th, 2009
4:57 pm
Slim
Just think of like this..he was 28 when you were born. Doesn’t that make things seem more appropriate…lol
Seriously, I’ve seen bigger age differences on college campus. I’ve known professors to get with former students. In some cases, there was some serious age differences.
Jamoca
April 24th, 2009
4:58 pm
Foots – Yeah, it was so good of a feeling, whereas I found myself kind of uncomfortable…maybe even a little shaky. So it was obvious at the time, that I was not used to it…which wasn’t good at all. But he did not focus much on that. He simply introduced me to being simply cared for. He was a kind of rough around the edges guy, but sweet as heyal with it…and very modest in his approach, without being too over-the-top.
Btw, thanks to you (recipe the other day) and Slim…you two have got me craving seafood big time. Crab boil, veggies…garlic butter…or a crab cake, stuffed salmon…mmmmm… See whatcha done? LOL
SlimOne
April 24th, 2009
5:00 pm
Poppa, when i asked how old he was, he said 58 1/2 LMAo
I was like i think once you pass age 12, you leave the half off
Sorry FOOTS! But i’m still hungry too
Jamoca
April 24th, 2009
5:02 pm
You all have yourselves some fabulous weekends!…G’nite now
Poppa Grande
April 24th, 2009
5:03 pm
Yeah, I don’t hear the 1/2 anymore. It doesn’t really matter. Now, go get some food.
DJ Sniper
April 24th, 2009
5:17 pm
For those of ya’ll wondering about my DJ gig, here it is: I work for a company that mainly does bar/bat mitzvahs. Those are when a Jewish boy/girl turns 13. It’s a big rite of passage for them. Normally the parties are in the evening, but this one tomorrow is in the afternoon. Tomorrow is actually my first time DJ’ing one of these events, so wish me luck. Depending on how things go, I may try to branch out and do some stuff on my own.
Beautiful
April 24th, 2009
6:56 pm
where ev1 go? giggle.
nice story MOCA! i enjoyed reading it.