Sign on the dotted line
You don’t need Donald Trump’s assets or Oprah Winfrey’s money to consider a prenuptial agreement these days. More and more people are choosing to protect their financial assets, just in case. Is this a sign of how we view marriage?
If you can get past the “implied distrust” that prenups can bring, then maybe you can decide on terms that work for the both of you. Some of the prenuptial agreements being used today also map out a specific plan that outlines the couple’s finances and how they will be managed during the marriage. However, some go as far as to require that the husband or wife maintain a regular sexual relationship with the other partner in order to be eligible for any portion of assets.
Considering your current financial standing, would you ask for a prenuptial agreement…. before you got married? If so, how would you bring it up? Would you have the papers ready prior to speaking to your partner?
If you love someone should you trust that person with your whole heart and your entire net worth? Or is it a matter of love and trust on one hand but when it comes to the money.. pre-nup is the way to go?
For people who are unmarried, would you have a problem signing a prenuptial? What about an infidelity clause?
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362 comments Add your comment
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 22nd, 2009
11:25 am
Beautiful If you are referring to my percentage, I just looked and I was off a little. This is one article I found quickly.
“Kapono, then, wasn’t the least bit surprised when a representative of the NBA Players’ Association addressed the Raptors recently on matters of financial prudence. A statistic was cited during the meeting that startled some of the hoopsters. It was said that 60 per cent of retired NBA players go broke five years after their NBA paycheques stop arriving.
“How could that be?” said Jamario Moon, the Raptors rookie. “I don’t want to believe that stat.”
But that stat, used by the players’ association to get the attention of young millionaires, is thought to be an educated estimate.
“Sixty per cent is a ballpark. But we’ve seen a lot of guys who’ve really come into hard times five years after they leave the league,” said Roy Hinson, the former NBA forward who’s a representative for the players’ association. “The problems are, for a lot of guys, they have a lot of cars, they have multiple houses, they’re taking care of their parents. They’re taking care of a whole host of issues. And the cheques aren’t coming in anymore.”
http://www.thestar.com/Sports/article/299119
dw
April 22nd, 2009
11:26 am
“you know good and well that most men want their wives to be trophy wives.”
Not me, I wish my wife was a “Bearilla”, so I can say: “I’m going to the moon B@#!H”, and she’ll say “OK, but don’t call me a B@#!H in front of the kids honey” LOL
Beautiful
April 22nd, 2009
11:27 am
ok, my definition of trophy wife is off a bit. my bad.
SlimOne
April 22nd, 2009
11:28 am
Speaking of trophy wives, Ice T said his income & earning potential tripled after he started kicking it with CoCo. As airheadish as she may appear, guess looks could be deceiving.
MELO
April 22nd, 2009
11:30 am
Kimmie, im glad u explained rather than going sumersault to hammer and attack me like u did on ur previous.Uncalled for!
But my point is, u are using old school examples to justify why its important for the woman to be informed and potraying the woman(in those cases,they mostly stayed at home and knew nothing) coz if not,”the poor woman” will be “devestated”(sp) when hes gone,rather than the simple and basic fact that it just makes sense to have ur partner informed of whats happening with money,business,insuarance,that partnership at the shop etc.
Preparing for after death is good for wives as it is for husbands.
ImAPeach404
April 22nd, 2009
11:30 am
! In reality he is upgrading the woman, not the other way around.
HOLD UP! C are you saying that finances are the only way in which one can get upgraded??? Please! I know plenty adult males who could benefit from a meal that didn’t come from the drive thru, living in a house that doesn’t require visitors to wear a hazmat suite, someone to come in and care for children that would otherwise be DFACS cases were it not for a woman in the home. Men who could use the sound advise and strength of a woman in their business decisions, someone to make them laugh and brighten up their dead @ss day! Maybe the woman is a financial whiz and can teach the brother about investing in items other than diamonds or expensive cars. He may have a stank attitude and be a horrible public figure but she just might have the ability to come in an advance HIS career by providing him with people skills and showing him how to be a better person.
If you ALL you have to offer is money of course you would think that all a woman has to offer is the box!
You know what, if I wasn’t off to lunch with a co-worker, I’d finish telling you about yourself… I’ll be back!
Jamoca
April 22nd, 2009
11:31 am
LOL @ DW…and MyTwo – don’t you throw that out here!…but then again, whatever works! lol
Beautiful
April 22nd, 2009
11:31 am
@RANDY
that article is actin’ like he didn’t want those cars and houses. i refuse to believe that this is all her fault. and if she leaves him when the checks stop coming in . . . HE PICKED HER!
M'
April 22nd, 2009
11:31 am
Face it, there are men who are only interested in a trophy wife…and most of them are gold diggers anyway…so it is a good match…lol…truly…men who desire a high maintenance wench and wenches who need a high rolling cat’s $$$$ to support it.
kimmie
April 22nd, 2009
11:31 am
Thanks Beautiful!
Dan
April 22nd, 2009
11:33 am
@Slim
Yeen know, Coco was getting it in BEFORE she met Ice. That relationship was unequal on his behalf, but they cool with it.
kimmie
April 22nd, 2009
11:34 am
Melo – I’m glad you now get it, but your original response was uncalled for too and you know it.
My old school example is a bit extreme for today(hopefully), but a lot of the lessons it teaches are still relevant.
AmazonRed - posting from her phone
April 22nd, 2009
11:35 am
dw -If you simply like a good debate, you shouldn’t be wasting time trying to pluck someones nerves. You’d be able to stand on your argument.
Kym aka Patty Hewes
April 22nd, 2009
11:36 am
@Randy I thought about becoming a divorce attorney. There is money in misery. Not all divorce attorney’s are bad. Now I am caught between civil litgation or family law-maybe a few divorce sprinkled in, and labor law.
dw
April 22nd, 2009
11:36 am
–Re: ImAPeach404 11:30am
My bad @Ctha1–didn’t mean to get you in a fire fight.
MELO
April 22nd, 2009
11:36 am
Honestly, I’m more concerned with him getting my money in the event of a divorce than me getting his
When u meet a man with means,that may change!!Suppose u meet a guy who marries u and who is well endowed financiall,is it inconceivable for u to end up not working simply coz its an incovenient for u and not becoz he asked u too? Such things do happen. At that point,money aint an issue,u spend his freely,and ur marriage has all the trappings of the wealthy.
Arent u gonna feel differently if and when u divorce but u find out there isnt much money there in ur 401k to sustain the previous lyfestyle?
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 22nd, 2009
11:38 am
No Beautiful, am not tying the “trophy wife” to his problems…just wondering if she stays when he is all that is left. Personally I think it is the guy’s fault for marrying a superficial beauty queen golddigger to have another ornament on his arm…just like the stupid financial decisions are his fault also.
I have seen so many movie stars, performers, “Mike Tysons” etc. that earned more than most of us can ever dream of, and lost it all because at the end of the day, they made stupid decisions…they somehow thought that the money would never end.
Who was it on this blog awhile back had an entire list of if you (fill in the blank), it is your own “middy fikkin” fault. He was spot on. Whether money or a golddigger, it is his own “middy fickin” fault.
Kym
April 22nd, 2009
11:39 am
why are my comments awaiting moderation now?
Kym aka Patty Hewes
April 22nd, 2009
11:41 am
This whole awaiting moderation is wack. Randy T all divorce attorneys are not bad..Hell misery loves money. And I thought about it at one time. Now leaning toward labor, civil litigation, maybe family law.
MELO
April 22nd, 2009
11:42 am
SlimoNE,i neva got ur email, try takpat78@gmail.
Hw did it go?
Kimmie,ok altho i dont understand? So if my interpretation of ur wrds is wrong,thats justification for personal verbal lashing?? WOW
I drop it….
Beautiful
April 22nd, 2009
11:42 am
@RANDY
that was FOR REAL.
kimmie
April 22nd, 2009
11:43 am
Melo – Enough with the fake outrage, just calling you on your bs! You’re cute!LOL!!!
DuShawn
April 22nd, 2009
11:46 am
I’ve always viewed pre-nups as preparation for failure. If you have average bread (i.e. less than a million in liquidity and assets), I don’t see the need. More often than not, the spouse you choose will have a similar financial position. The focus shouldn’t be on separately protecting what we have, it should be on combining our resources and building long term wealth. On the other hand, if there is a significant disparity in our monetary accomplishments, documented protection may be in order. I recommend getting married while you’re broke. Then it’s not an issue.
lurker
April 22nd, 2009
11:47 am
She doesn’t have any bargaining chips! What is she bringing to the table? Some Na Na? He can get that in every city the team or tour stops in.
If all he has to offer is money, then that’s what he purchased…na na…..so it’s a draw. Hooking at it’s finest.
Beautiful
April 22nd, 2009
11:49 am
@AMAZON
how is it sad? i have a lot of examples but one is:
a person in a relationship wanting to spend 3k on a cruise and the other wanting to spend the 3k on the taxes owed to irs. it’s sad that a person could be so stupid/careless/irresponsible with money. debts are priority.
another example:
a rapper having tons of jewelry and no real estate in his name.
Beautiful
April 22nd, 2009
11:52 am
**I’ve always viewed pre-nups as preparation for failure**
i’m changing my answer. i ain’t signing shiit.
Tazzee - all moved in (sort of)
April 22nd, 2009
11:57 am
Melo I don’t see myself not working if I get married – what for? No kids are coming out of this womb. Additionally, I’ve NEVER dated a guy that made more money than me – so I can’t even envision that scenario you presented. I take that back, one guy did make more than me until I got promoted that year.
But all in all – I was joking with my post. As I’ve said many times before as it concerns marriage in general – I don’t look forward to it in general, not without a target. Meaning I don’t get all excited about getting married one day – a wonderful guy would have to come into my life to get me excited about marrying him one day. So when I have random conversations about marriage – those are the types of things that come to mind.
I do believe that the right man will conquer all those thoughts – but from the outside looking in, I don’t want a man getting half of mine if we divorce.
Beautiful
April 22nd, 2009
12:02 pm
whatever happened to *what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours*?
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 22nd, 2009
12:04 pm
Regarding “trophy wives” or “arm ornaments”, I have long held this theory, mostly from some stupid things I have done myself, thus the “t-shirts”, that an erection restricts the oxygen/blood supply to the brain. The thought process is then rerouted thru the “little head” causing major disruptions in good judgement. Just a theory.
M'
April 22nd, 2009
12:13 pm
@Randy
There is some truth to that…and it ain’t an isolated or unique behavior or attitude…it is true that the desire to attain sexual gratification can and will dictate how some ppl react and impair their rational judgment…it happens both ways, probably with different motivations, for both men and women.
C tha 1
April 22nd, 2009
12:15 pm
@dw that’s alright bruh, no extinguisher needed. Peach has a point. According to her 11:30 post that’s a woman willing to put in work to add to an already financially established man. Call me archaic and chauvanistic (sp), but I would hope a grown woman knows how to cook, clean house, and take care of the kids when its time. That woman has legitimately earned a “portion” of money in the unfortunate case of a divorce.
But if a woman plans to be apart of the $250,000+ tax bracket, and sit on her azz without providing a means of securing earned income then she isn’t entitled to much. Ultimately, if a dude has a million liquid and in assests, that’s good money. But I’m from the country…and what we call Long Bread is simply generational wealth. If you’re starting from the bottom it takes two people to generate and sustain it to get to the next level…not one person earning it while the other spends it.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 22nd, 2009
12:15 pm
Robin williams summed it up this way:
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
lurker
April 22nd, 2009
12:16 pm
Enter your comments here
LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 22nd, 2009
12:28 pm
I won’t be a happy camper even having a convo about a financial prenup ESPECIALLY if he wants me to be a stay @ home mom!
MELO
April 22nd, 2009
12:33 pm
Additionally, I’ve NEVER dated a guy that made more money than me
OK
Beautiful
April 22nd, 2009
12:35 pm
**The thought process is then rerouted thru the “little head” causing major disruptions in good judgement**
but this lil disruption only last 5 mins. stop wit the excuses!
what is twitter?
and a groom asking for a pre-nup . . . does his character come into play?
Dan
April 22nd, 2009
12:41 pm
@Angie
Why would HIS character come into play? or
If a bride were asking for a pre-nup, would HER character be in question?
AmazonRed™
April 22nd, 2009
12:43 pm
Well, the good thing is, I can post to this blog from my phone…the bad thing is that they’re waiting moderation.
how is it sad? i have a lot of examples but one is:
Angie – You got all of that just from the simple statement of “not eveyone views a dollar the way you do?”
But thank you for finally elaborating on one of your points for a change.
M'
April 22nd, 2009
12:43 pm
holy moly…any person who has valuable assets to protect should be able to do so…that is a common sense no brainer move to me…and any person who cares enough about the other person should respect and support their right to do so…the bride or the groom.
Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 22nd, 2009
12:44 pm
I wonder if a guy can “Plead insanity by reason of erection”? If so, I could have gotten out of some jams of my own making several times.
Raqi
April 22nd, 2009
12:50 pm
Plead insanity by reason of erection
Randy why not ’cause yall have a tendency to say and do some crazy things to fulfill that moment.
Raqi
April 22nd, 2009
12:56 pm
“oh baby I…just…just let me…I promise I…let’s just…can I please come in?”
Sounds like a crazy man to me.
Beautiful
April 22nd, 2009
12:57 pm
i don’t elaborate most of the time because i don’t feel the need.
and yes i did ms. smarty pants! paying for luxury before debt leads to a broken home. the blond on steve’s show is in for a rude awakening. living on a trust fund and not having anything besides a husband to support you to fall back on is crazy. she’s not spending her money wisely.
Beautiful
April 22nd, 2009
1:00 pm
@M
**any person who has valuable assets to protect should be able to do so**
protect from who? your wife? hahaha. unbelievable!
Poppa Grande
April 22nd, 2009
1:01 pm
The only reason that I would have a pre-nupt (I didn’t) was more for protection against the SO’s family. I’ve seen it happen that the female’s family was plotting. Heck, I don’t trust all of my family and show don’t trust all of hers. It is amazing what plans people come up have when OPM is involved.
OPM=Other People’s Money
As far as the choosing SO’s, I’d just have to be careful.
In reality, I had much of my stuff already tied up in money markets and other accounts before we met. Beneficiary of most of that stuff was and still is my nephew. The wife is an attorney so she had her own stuff as well.
Raqi
I was kinda worried about you, too, after mentioning contractions on Friday. I guess that the chica was just reminding you who was calling the shots.
AmazonRed™
April 22nd, 2009
1:02 pm
i don’t elaborate most of the time because i don’t feel the need.
Cool. Then don’t complain when you think folks don’t understant you or misunderstand you.
And again, you’re thinking to the extreme. Just because two people don’t view a dollar the same, doens’t mean that one person is irresponsible or that the relationship is in trouble. With proper communication you can hopefully get on a similar page or at least identify where the weak spots are.
If the blond on Steve’s show meets another trust fund kid or someone who can afford to take care of her (like her father and grandfather did) then she’s fine. It’s not crazy just because you can not relate.
LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 22nd, 2009
1:02 pm
Beautiful- I don’t understand it either.. Why choose a woman to be yur wife YET you have to protect your assets from her.. Why get married if you have to safeguard yourself from the woman you are about to take vows to love til death do you part??? CONFUSED!
dw
April 22nd, 2009
1:07 pm
If an athlete was with his soon to be wife before he was sought after as a collegiate star then I can see why she would be upset if he asked her to sign a prenup because she has been there when he had nothing.
On the other hand however, if he is thinking about marrying a chick that he met at a teammate’s party or some industry event after he was established as a pro athlete making millions, he’d be crazy not to ask for a prenup, because as much as you want to believe she’s there just for you, the fact that you had millions of dollars when you met her can’t be taken lightly.
Beautiful
April 22nd, 2009
1:11 pm
**Then don’t complain when you think folks don’t understant you or misunderstand you**
that’s fair!
**If the blond on Steve’s show meets another trust fund kid**
that’s not likely. possible, but not likely to happen.
@CUTIE
this is why i believe i won’t sign one now. the truth is he doesn’t trust me. *sniff*
where’s TRUTH? i had a dream about you last week. it was a fun one from what i remember.
AmazonRed™
April 22nd, 2009
1:12 pm
I don’t understand it either.. Why choose a woman to be yur wife YET you have to protect your assets from her.. Why get married if you have to safeguard yourself from the woman you are about to take vows to love til death do you part??? CONFUSED!
I don’t think we’d ever understand unless we had a significant amount of money. I’d be way more distrustful of people if I knew there was a target on my back simply because I was paid. I’d hope I could still find love and an honest person, but I understand why some people would be paranoid and have doubts.
I’ve dated a couple of guys who seemed to have money (one owned a plane) and much like the sentiment of some of the broke azz dudes on here (
) they seemed to value people more like possessions. I guess it’s just a business mentality you have once you’re on that level in general. I don’t know, but I found that dating guys on my caliber of brokeness is much easier.