accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Why do we lose interest?

We hear it on TV, from friends, even relatives. It’s perhaps gallows humor, but for many, they’re joking about the cruel truth: eventually, you’ll stop wanting to have sex with your partner. 

That may be true for many of us, but the question TV, friends and relatives never answer is why. Is it because the passion you thought was real was just temporary lust? Is it because the familiar becomes boring? Is it that familiarity breeds contempt?

I was in a two-year relationship in which the intimacy fizzled, big-time. I think it was a mix of unresolved arguments that created an emotional divide I couldn’t overcome, combined with me feeling just plain unsexy after him seeing me with the flu or a stomach bug or simply in my worst states. Frankly, I think my own immaturity played a role, as I was then probably unable to handle the true intimacy that comes with a serious relationship.

Have you ever lost interest in sex with your main squeeze? And don’t give me any run-around about if the loving is good enough, the partner can’t say no; I think no matter your skills, life can get in the way. The reasons behind this phenomenon seem complex and varied, so tell me your experiences. Finally, if sex is no longer a big part of your relationships, do you think you can still make it work? Is intimacy still a huge deal after a decade or more together?

279 comments Add your comment

lurker

April 17th, 2009
4:35 pm

Staceye Kuwait

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
4:37 pm

Leggs

As far as your question, it depends on the couple & the individual’s libidos in the couple. You’d know what is normal and not normal either way IMO.

Jamoca

April 17th, 2009
4:38 pm

Oh yeah, you did mention that Dushawn – Happy Belated Burfday! What day was it?

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:39 pm

Tazzee – I’ma leave that alone! Smoking what?

I’m just glad Fantasia is not letting her momma do her hair anymore.

That wild cut she had, was whoa….

Jamoca

April 17th, 2009
4:40 pm

LOL @ Lurker raising herself a little Ram-bo! lol

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
4:41 pm

Mo

Well I hope that you enjoyed it with the daily pepsi.

We have a Red Velvet from Piece of Cake at home. I’m not a Red Velvet fan, though.

DuShawn

April 17th, 2009
4:43 pm

It was the 9th

MELO

April 17th, 2009
4:43 pm

Is Fantasia fully cured of that STD u think CEE??

Leggs

April 17th, 2009
4:43 pm

I’m bored!

lurker

April 17th, 2009
4:44 pm

Jamoca already tall as me, hair midway of her back and grown men looking…no gaulking. I was raised old school, so I’m straight breaking off from the real world. Some she’ll ignore and learn by way of living but hopefully what’s needed, she’ll extract and keep. Every since she was about 5, I bring her to work the brothas up here are like uh oh, you’re gonna be fighting ‘em off….I ain’t looking forward.

Tazzee

April 17th, 2009
4:46 pm

Have a great weekend all!

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
4:47 pm

Staceye

You better be careful girl. Death cures stubbornness, but there are easier ways.

MELO

April 17th, 2009
4:48 pm

when u hear ‘Ntasia speak,u know right away that she either has some bothering her on her big underneath/behind or she was in the porn/stripper bizz at some point in the Carolinas,pre idol.
Cant miss with either of those!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

April 17th, 2009
4:49 pm

Poppa G – I have actually cut back my Pepsi intake! (yes, yes…I know miracles never cease) I am now down to……drum roll…..3 a week!! Woo-hoo!!

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
4:49 pm

Leggs

How can you be bored? I know that you work in a law office. There is always something that needs filing or filing in a physical file can always be updated.

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:49 pm

Melo – What? Fantasia had an STD? From whom? I’m always last of news.

I dunno.

Leggs

April 17th, 2009
4:51 pm

You right, and that’s why I’m bored. Thanks for the chuckle!

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
4:51 pm

MO

Good for you! Until this week, I had gone nearly three month without a soda. Lots of water, lemonade and tea instead. I wasn’t impressed with crystal light.

However, I’ve had soda just about everyday this week. I’ll go cold turkey, Sunday. My parents are taking me to dinner tonight for my birthday. Legal Seafood is pretty good.

MELO

April 17th, 2009
4:52 pm

CEE,see 4.48

Leggs

April 17th, 2009
4:53 pm

If you haven’t tried the Trout at Legal Seafood and you like Trout, you’ll love it.

Kym aka Dominque Deveraux

April 17th, 2009
4:54 pm

I am the mother of a Aries son..he goes from I don’t need you mom…to can you help me find. And push just right he has a temper. I have to remind him time and again it is a Cancer raising him we are loving and all but we will cut you low.

Leggs

April 17th, 2009
4:55 pm

I had a soda a little while ago, and felt a little bad. But, I still haven’t had that ice cream.

Goodnight everyone…enjoy the weekend!

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:57 pm

Woooooow…Melo I hd NO clue!

My cousin is trying to see the tomorrow in Greensboro.

Tazzee? if you wanna you can ride up and see the trio in Greensboro tomorrowm.

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
4:59 pm

Leggs, I had Legal Seafood in DC, but not here. Hopefully it will be just a good.

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
5:00 pm

One more thing. Cold stone has a free ice cream program for adults on the birthday. If you like Cold stone check it out on the website.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

April 17th, 2009
5:02 pm

Poppa G – im trying to get like you, tea/lemonade/water but SOMEDAYS pepsi is in order! :0)

Leggs

April 17th, 2009
5:06 pm

@PoppaG, if you remember, let me know which one you liked best!

Jamoca

April 17th, 2009
5:12 pm

Kym, I’ve never caught that…so you and Ceemeli have Arian sons. You know the AJC has an interesting read on horoscopes concerning the parent and their child(ren). Actually, it read as if the two were very compatible in a lot of ways…almost down to a T…esp since I’m an Aries and my oldest is a Cancer child. My two youngest are Sag (10yr old) and Aquarius (7yr old). Never a dull moment in these parts. But I’ll tell you one thing, your sons may seem defiant, even headstrong at times, but its known that he won’t stray too far from it…loyalty gets us everytime.

Lurker – You talkin’ my thing! My two youngest are 7 & 10…calls em Thelma and Louise. My oldest is taller than me…almost 5′10″…and fully developed. Folks in my neighborhood tend to think I’m mean, so does she at times…and that’s jus the way I like it. I’m not cha’ “friends”…I’m Mama. But yeah it’s a little scary…naw, very scary. They’re human and will make mistakes. Some they will learn by teachings and observance, and some they’ll learn by experience…may be even more than once. Even if they were raised better. It’s life.

My oldest has always favored her father…a lot lighter, sandy hair with blond highlights and very tall…she’s a tomboy but she’s becoming more open to embracing her femininity…so we’ll see. At least you only have one to worry about, but an Arian child can be 3 in 1…such passionate and determined creatures, we are. But extremely loyal.

Like my grandmother and even my mother…you betta stay on your knees praying. It’s a spiritual warfare goin’ on out here and the streets, life, etc does not discriminate. They’ll all be more than happy to take over our children.

One of my prayers when it comes to my poor decisions in my past, is they’ll fall far from the tree. This I tell them so…no need in me being ashamed of it now, I’ve got some major business to take care of. Damn what happened then, I’ve got to handle the NOW.

gimmiesomemo

April 21st, 2009
11:51 am

what makes me lose interest is when a man is being constantly “CRITICAL” about his dislikes about a woman but fails to see his own “FLAWS” or can never really ever say or do anything POSITIVE to reverse the situation. If all you know how to do is criticize someone for being who they are then maybe you should just pick a planet somewhere in the galaxy and go there to find that PERFECT PERSON who simply “does not” exist. Not getting a “nut” after you’ve been dating someone for more than 4 years should make a person “lose interest” but if you still love them then you would make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship. If you lose interest in someone you should just cut all ties and get fuckin lost, you don’t still hang around stalking & spying on someone you don’t want to be with anymore. If you lose interest why can’t you just LET THAT PERSON GO! Ride out into the sunset with Tonto or whatever… beat a damn trail…why would you still be doing things to still be a part of someone’s life if you have given them the boot or if you’ve lost interest in them for whatever reason? That’s the shit i don’t understand. Why are you still hanging around? Youre actions have MADE IT CLEAR so why not just cut the fuckin chord already? It behooves me to no end to hear about people who say they’ve LOST INTEREST in someone yet they still hang out in the same places the KNOW they’re old flame loves to go, or do the things they KNOW they’re old flame likes to do, they still do things to incorporate themselves into that person’s life but just doesn’t want the “physical connection” part anymore. What kinda fucked up shit is that all about anyways? One word= THERAPY DUDE
And fast!!!! If you say you’ve truly LOST INTEREST then like i said STAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT PERSON’S LIFE “COMPLETELY”!!!!!!!