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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Why do we lose interest?

We hear it on TV, from friends, even relatives. It’s perhaps gallows humor, but for many, they’re joking about the cruel truth: eventually, you’ll stop wanting to have sex with your partner. 

That may be true for many of us, but the question TV, friends and relatives never answer is why. Is it because the passion you thought was real was just temporary lust? Is it because the familiar becomes boring? Is it that familiarity breeds contempt?

I was in a two-year relationship in which the intimacy fizzled, big-time. I think it was a mix of unresolved arguments that created an emotional divide I couldn’t overcome, combined with me feeling just plain unsexy after him seeing me with the flu or a stomach bug or simply in my worst states. Frankly, I think my own immaturity played a role, as I was then probably unable to handle the true intimacy that comes with a serious relationship.

Have you ever lost interest in sex with your main squeeze? And don’t give me any run-around about if the loving is good enough, the partner can’t say no; I think no matter your skills, life can get in the way. The reasons behind this phenomenon seem complex and varied, so tell me your experiences. Finally, if sex is no longer a big part of your relationships, do you think you can still make it work? Is intimacy still a huge deal after a decade or more together?

279 comments Add your comment

Raqi...28 Weeks with Braxton Hicks...

April 17th, 2009
3:42 pm

Wait…did you say not a chocolate fan? Girl chocolate is the next best thing to an orga ni sm. LOL

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
3:45 pm

Kym

Hiring pirates is too risky. Their motivation is money. All it would take is Iran or another country to offer them something else that they wanted. They would know where our ships were headed and where they came from. They would even have the power to lead our ships right into the wrong hands That isn’t the right area of the world to take such a chance.

As for the water being poisoned, it probably is true. USA isn’t the only one that has used that water, though. Don’t mess with us.

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
3:47 pm

Hi Blog!!!

It is the bomb outside! I’m going right back out, for a festive Friday in about another hour or two. All patio food & entertainment tonight.

You guys are a fun bunch, and just funny!

ForReal and PoppaG I have one or two of you alls personality in my family.

“Did you just as Du why he told his boy not to married that chick? Let seeeee… HE HAS BEEN DIVORCED 3 FREAKIN TIMES!!!

ForReal even when your are serious I’m still laughing at your crazy self.

Un-huh..Melo So your posts don’t get an edit from the blog?

Hello to the blog ladies!

Raqi...28 Weeks with Braxton Hicks...

April 17th, 2009
3:48 pm

I am having contractions. I don’t know why this little chica is in such a hurry to get here. It is too daum early.

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
3:49 pm

Mqew I was doing the leg dance earlier today.

Tazzee ah, plans w/ B2B?

My headache is gone…gone…gone!!!

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
3:50 pm

Raqi – Be careful!

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
3:51 pm

Where is Swissie?

I need him around to pick on… It’s time for his trivia questions.

Leggs

April 17th, 2009
3:52 pm

This is my take on keeping a relationship fresh through the good and the bad = RESPECT as the main ingredient!

Tazzee

April 17th, 2009
3:53 pm

Raqi when I have dessert – chocolate is usually my last choice. But I have found that it can calm my nerves when I’m reaching a high level of frustration.

Cemeeli Hey Lady! Yeah, but they are house plans – there’s some stuff he’s going to handle around the house so we’ll going to have a Home Depot and dinner date ;-)

LIONESS- I Just State The FACTS!!

April 17th, 2009
3:54 pm

Leggs- As always.. I agree! That comment about For Real’s comment is EXACTLY what I thought :)

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
3:55 pm

Raqi

Mrs. PG had a bout with pneumonia this winter. You’d think that would make her tail sit down somewhere. NOOOOOOO, the heck it didn’t!

She tried to do attorney work from bed.

Getting her to eat was like trying to strike a peace treaty between Israel and Palestine. I bet if she had a rock it would been thrown at me a couple of time. She was a grown woman and no one was telling her when to eat!!

The only thing that I didn’t have to do was beg her to do those breathing treatments.

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
3:58 pm

Cee

I was doing the leg dance earlier today.

Don’t tell me that you are dancing with legs like that dog from Sex in the City movie. :lol:

That dog was the best part of the movie

lurker

April 17th, 2009
3:59 pm

Really bad earthquake in Afghanistan yesterday, I believe. Without a globe or map in front of me, not certain how close to Kuwait.

MELO

April 17th, 2009
4:01 pm

Without a globe or map in front of me, not certain how close to Kuwait.

girl u didnt do biology in high-school :lol:

MELO

April 17th, 2009
4:03 pm

CEE,weather is really nice?? so,what u wearing…?

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:10 pm

Tazzee I’m so happy for you!!! Both NEW-NEW in your life. Home Depot as a date?!?!!? Where can a girl make-out in the Depot?? Lol I have a orange apron…I wonder….do u wanna borrow?

PoppaG – The youngin’s are doing “the stanky leg” it’s a jingle that has me caught up doing the dance as well.

Leggs

April 17th, 2009
4:10 pm

Ok, not ready for the subject to die. Let me ask this. Since most say “no” is “rejection”. How may times in a 2 week period would you continue to hear the word “no” before “understanding” takes a backseat and you start copping an attitude?

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:12 pm

Melo – I think I look quite nice today. I have on a ping sundress and heels. Serious heels!

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:13 pm

Correction: Pink

Kym aka Dominque Deveraux

April 17th, 2009
4:14 pm

Cee with all due respect dudes doing the stanky leg look suspect as all get out. You should watch the video..There is a whole lot of sashy shaunta in that video.

Jamoca

April 17th, 2009
4:15 pm

Hey everyone….Happy Friday!

As usual…Raqi…need we say more? You and RandyT are all up in each other’s “subcons” today…but that’s the norm as well…good reading.

And instead of battling one another…just combine that strengh and take on the “US against the world” mentality. Then it will not matter who’s lead the victory came under because in the end it benefits you both and you share the spoils of your conquest!

Aha!…that’s funny coming from you Staceye,… but refreshingly different at the same time. Since it appears to me, that your above statements is exactly what some of the more “experienced” blog regulars have been spitting….well to some degree anyway. Additionally, it also appears that this tag team duo you so welcome, is bound to have MANY situations where your man will NEED HIS WOMAN to have his back, and in return he’ll have her front (as Foots would say – always loved that phrase). That’s also considered to be a combination of both their strengths put in full force, to reach a common goal – together. So YOU game?…as well as progressive enough to play that…heyal yo’ position? Lololol

Just tell me we got us an imposter, ‘cuz yeen tryin’ to hear that. She’d rather be a maneater…Lmao (I’ve now got that song justa ringin’ in my head….damn 80’s children…oh, that would be me too…lol)

Dushawn –
As always, love reading your stories and interesting perspectives…no matter how raw, it’s still sincere honesty.

Tatas –
So whatchu’ sayin’…I have to come off “strike”? LOL

As I recall one of the most serious relationships of my past…I cannot recall a time where neither of us didn’t want…even when we were mad at each other – heyal, sometimes that was some of the most passionate experiences…cussin’ each other out under our breaths, hair pulling, tossin’ each other from one corner to the next, not to mention stratch marks….and choking…yes, even choking…it was actually well…let me shut up. Lol …but ended with him gently kissin’ both (left and right) cheeks….butt cheeks that is…for a job well done. And me sayin’ – I’m still mad at you! Lmao Ahhh…the memories…

Leggs

April 17th, 2009
4:15 pm

Dang, my post got shredded.

I’ll ask again. How many “no’s” to sex would you take from your partner in a 2-week period before “understanding” takes a backseat and you start “copping” an attitude?

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:16 pm

Leggs

Who taking the backseat to some real fiya lovemaking? After 2weeks my lil honey is on simmer and can continue untouched.

He needs to bring it every 2-3 days, if not more.

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
4:16 pm

Cee

The youngin’s are doing “the stanky leg” it’s a jingle that has me caught up doing the dance as well.

Ok..just be careful. I wouldn’t want you to have a Lil Kim incident in front of the co-workers (or kids).

Mo (aka Moeisha)

April 17th, 2009
4:16 pm

Afteroon All!! Able to catch my breath for a moment so I decided to see whats crackin in Blogsville.

TGIF – my favorite day of the week and I am eating fresh guacamole tonight!! Yaaaay Me!! :0)

So whats good people??

Cemeeli – I will get my first taste of pure hilarity this weekend at my son’s teeball game! lol!

lurker

April 17th, 2009
4:20 pm

Melo Biology (from Greek βιολογία – βίος, bios, “life”; -λογία, -logia, study of) is the science that studies living organisms.

Long since you was in school too eh? Did you mean geography? LOL

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:20 pm

Kym – I’ve never seen the video. BUt aaaallll of the young kids around are doing that dance. THIs 5 year old is sooooo cute doing it, cuase she’s so short!!!

My son has this head rubbing action when he attempts to dance. …which is not very often…. But he does the “stanky leg”. And my gf told him he has it down, so now he thinks he can dance.

We are not “stanky leg” competitors with each other. lol…

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
4:21 pm

It is funny how many people are attracted in my office by a dozen cupcakes from Piece of Cake.

The wife went out at lunch got them, and put them on my desk.

I guess that is why she kept asking if I was going to the office.

I had no plans, but I strolled on in at 4 PM to cupcakes. My birthday has passed but I’ve gotten gifts everyday this week

It is too nice outside to be in here long. I’m leaving at 5..:lol:

Tazzee

April 17th, 2009
4:22 pm

Cemeeli No plans for being naughty in HD, but I’ll let you know if I need to borrow that apron ;-)

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:22 pm

Go Mo!!! GO Lil Mo!!!

Take the camera! It’s going to be a beautiful weekend for baseball.

Leggs

April 17th, 2009
4:22 pm

My point is if in fact it was “…some real fiya lovemaking,” and all else is fine, the word “no” wouldn’t be in the pictue. Therefore, something might be amiss. How long would it be b4 you start thinking something is wrong instead of just feeling “rejected?”

Kym aka Dominque Deveraux

April 17th, 2009
4:23 pm

Poppa G you had a bday this month? Are you a Aries? Lawd…Aries babies they are some kind of something to raise.

Tazzee

April 17th, 2009
4:23 pm

PoppaG I went to Piece of Cake last Friday. First time ever going there and now I see what all the rave is. Good stuff!

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:23 pm

Tazzee – Gal, what don’ got hold to you?

If. You. Need. It. :wink:

Hmmmph…good.

Jamoca

April 17th, 2009
4:24 pm

Wow, Raqi! Yes, do be careful. I began to dilate early with my middle one. I was pretty active and always on my feet, which was a good thing, but not at 30/32 weeks. I was bed riden….hated itttt…(in my best, “It’s Raining Men” voice) lol But after the first few days, I was like, that is it! Just took it easy until delivery. But there were definitely benefits of being so physically active, especially since it only took her 2 hours to be delivered and there was no reason for me to have any incisions, nor did I tear. I was so happy to walk out stitches free! Lmao

MELO

April 17th, 2009
4:25 pm

have on a ping sundress and heels. Serious heels!

hmfffffff…im sweating real bad CEE. Leggs showing and a skirt!?Girrrl..summer is the time of the year my wang gets the most punishment.
Every 20 metres i walk,its some new new leggs on heels.I have to walk with my left hand in ma pocket..No i got no change in there! Jus making sure i take control, otherwise my pants,on the zipper side, wld be slimmy and wet, and u know, walking with a hardened-steel wang that wont budge or listen to commands aint cool at all,so embarrasing!

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:26 pm

Ok..just be careful. I wouldn’t want you to have a Lil Kim incident in front of the co-workers (or kids).

PoppaG I know, right? I know i’m not 15 anymore. I can do stanky leg though. It’s simple.

Who attended Jill Scott’s concert lastnight. I heard it was the FIYA!!!

Jennifer Holiday and Fantasia showed up. I heard Fanstasia has a trainer and the results are fantastic.

Tazzee ^^^ that info is from no other than our buddy.

MELO

April 17th, 2009
4:27 pm

Did you mean geography

my bad lurker,or is it calculus?? :lol:

Tazzee

April 17th, 2009
4:29 pm

Cemeeli Jill Scott had a concert last night?!?!? I agree that Fantasia looked good last night, but I didn’t know she and Jennifer went to an after-party with Jill Scott. Or is someone smoking that stuff :lol:

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
4:30 pm

Kym

Oh yeah…Aries in the house!!

Tazzee</strong.

Yeah, I was introduced to Piece of Cake year ago when I worked at a law firm in Buckhead. They sell by the slice & cupcakes at the store.

My current firm celebrates employees birthdays once a month (usually the last day) with a Piece of Cake treat picked by the employees that had a birthday in that month. We will have a carrot cake for April. I already let the office administrator know. I am the only employee who has an April Birthday. December gets more than one cake because nearly a third of the firm employees have a birthday in December.

Leggs

April 17th, 2009
4:31 pm

Melo has once again proven how a man cannot let his intellectual head (brain) give commands to his little head (manhood) without it’s hand making sure instructions have been followed. What a shame! :lol: See if we females get excited all you might see is the hardening of the nipples (if that)!

Jamoca

April 17th, 2009
4:31 pm

Kym – you right about that! We can be somethin’ else. lol

Leggs – I guess it would depend on the frequency, the situation at hand, what’s going on…that kind of thing. But in all honesty, that’s a good time to allow the canal to have some fresh air…you know get a breather…recoop, which is hard to explain when some couples usually get down on a daily basis.

lurker

April 17th, 2009
4:32 pm

Melo you made me go there…lol

DuShawn

April 17th, 2009
4:32 pm

I’m an Aries too. I had three parties in different cities in five days.
I’m still recovering.

Poppa Grande

April 17th, 2009
4:33 pm

It seems that while I strolled in late, I missed the Dreamland bar-b-cue for lunch.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

April 17th, 2009
4:33 pm

Cemeeli – LOL! I am ready for the laughter chica!

Poppa G – actually I must fess up, I snuck in ya office and a ate a cupcake so one of them is nothing but cotton balls with icing on top!
Im sorry I couldnt help it! :0)

lurker

April 17th, 2009
4:33 pm

Aries something else? Ya’ll ain’t never lied….produced one that’s just entered teenage-ism….gheesh.

Cemeeli

April 17th, 2009
4:34 pm

Leggs – He gets ONE week! Then i’m thinking real heard.

One…one…ONE WEEK!

But that’s me.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

April 17th, 2009
4:34 pm

RAQI…tes that lil’ girl to hold her horses! She’ll have her time to wreak havoc on you and Mase soon enough! :lol:

POPPA…your wife is hard headed like me. I was supposeed to stay home and rest for 4-5 days according to the ER doctor. Yeah…guess who was right back at work the next day and belly dancing in 2 days. Felt liek hell on a stick later…but I am a trouper. I guess that is why I am still seeing Tweety birds & stars. But oh well.! :lol:

LURKER…wow…where is Truth?

MELO…biology? :lol: I know you are kidding….geography!

Speaking of Stanky Leg…I saw a You Tube video where a DJ turned the song in to a Soca Remix…hot and the 3 girsl were whinin’ & workin’ it.

lurker

April 17th, 2009
4:34 pm

OMG…Dreamland….my manager use to cater….don’t make me go to Alpharetta