How to avoid a hell date
Atlanta is a wonderful place to roam, especially in the spring. Once you get past that annoying yellow pollen dust, this is the season to mix and mingle. The nightlife offers a nice variety of whatever you are into – from upscale lounges to cool, laid back clubs; from wine bars, to chocolate bars. So many places, events and activities to meet and take dates.
With that in mind, what are places or activities you should avoid on the first few dates? I ask because I have heard complaints from men and women about why their date activity/destination was the death knell to any chemistry that was building.
Guys, have you ever gone a date with a lady and she didn’t care for your planned activities for the evening? What did you do? How did she react? Do you think that ladies would lose interest in a guy solely because your date destination didn’t impress her?
Ladies, can the location or activity of a date actually hinder your attraction or connection? Do you have a few tips of how men can avoid a “hell date” because of the date activity or destination? What is the best way to handle a hell date?
These questions are all based on the assumption that the dates are not with anyone in the friends with benefits, booty call, or jump-off category.
Happy Friday!
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192 comments Add your comment
NYCUTIE- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 10th, 2009
8:16 am
Good Morning All
Tip #1- Both parties must agree on the date destination..
One of the worst places to go on a date is the movies..
LMAO @ the disclaimer
East Point's Own
April 10th, 2009
8:24 am
I always ask what type of activities a woman likes during initial conversations befroe planning a first date, but ultimately I always end up going somewhere I enjoy, if she does not like it to the point where its a problem we probably are not gonna be a good match N T ways. There is not much that can really happen to upset me on a first date, short of blatant disrespect, cause I don’t feel like i am losing anything if for whatever reason we never see each other again after a first date.
Raqi
April 10th, 2009
8:48 am
“Appeal to the interest of the prey.” – Raqi
Hell date? Concert that left my head throbbing with pain. There was no interacting during the date because I couldn’t even hear myself think let alone hear what my date was saying. That is, when he was saying something and not heavily engrossed in the entertainment.
Hell date #2? Dysfunctional family get together. BehBeh’s kids, gawking cousin Junior and drunk Uncle RayRay.
Hell date #3? Date complained the entire time about the food when the restaurant was his choice. If you have never tried authentic ethnic foods, don’t do it on a first date if you can’t remain cordial during the “something new” process.
Yes activity and destination can make or break the date.
Raqi
April 10th, 2009
8:54 am
The best way to handle a hell date is to end it as soon as possible. In these days of text messaging and cell phone you can be prepared to text your source and have them call your cell with a family emergency.
I did have a few hell dates with a couple of good catches though. If it’s just the place itself and you really like the person it can be worked out.
TexasBoy
April 10th, 2009
8:56 am
I agree that the movies,sporting events, or a concert is not a good firts date. A good first date should be a simple dinner or lunch followed by a good friendly game of billards and a few drinks.
Raqi
April 10th, 2009
9:11 am
On a first date you should avoid any activity that takes the mutual attention away from your date and yourself. Yeah having fun on a date is very important however do you really want your date to enjoy the activities more than your company. Think about it. Yes you will be branded the fun dates however will it be the fun or the date (you) that keeps him/her interested. If you start out at a 100mph of fun dates how do you find out whether it’s you or the activities? Choose a day and spend it doing nothing (the park, a picnic) and see how interested your date is then.
The fun date, the cheap (inexpensive activities) date, the easy (sex) date…change it up and see what transpires.
Heaven
April 10th, 2009
9:21 am
GOOD FRIDAY CONCERT tonight 7pm – Appalachain State University Choir of Boone, North Carolina will perform @ Tabernacle Baptist Church 475 Boulevard NE Atlanta, GA – Dinner will be served after the concert – http://www.tbcatlanta.org
Have a Blessed Good Friday & Happy Easter
i'm swiss
April 10th, 2009
9:22 am
I can’t say that I’ve ever really experienced a hell date first hand. I did have one moderately uncomfortable date — but that was just because the girl was waaaaaay more into me than I was her. (Of course, I took the opportunity to tap that azzz before never calling again)
Speaking of Hell Date… Anyone else ever watch the show “Hell Date” — where 1 unsuspecting person is set up on a blind date with an actor/actress, who proceeds to put the poor chump through hell. And then at the end, this midget in a devil suit w/ a pitchfork comes out, dances around & says “You’re on Hell Date!”
I love that show. I don’t care what the circumstance, midgets are always funny… 
Tazzee - closing Monday
April 10th, 2009
9:30 am
Morning Folks,
I have never had a date that failed because of the location – only because of the person. People say movies, sporting events and concerts aren’t good first dates – but if my favorite entertainer is in town and a guy wants to take me on the first date – I can’t imagine that being a bust. Additionally, I can chat it up with the best of them at a football game. As far as movies, if it’s a good movie and we have dinner, dessert, coffee, etc after or before – it’s all good. I’ve been on plenty of movie first dates.
But I’ve been on plenty of creative first dates that would have been great had my date not been so boring, rude, etc.
AmazonRed™ - raising the bar on these ninjas
April 10th, 2009
9:35 am
Happy Good Friday everyone!
Well, the first way to avoid a hell date is to check your attitude. No matter what your date has planned they typically think it’s something that will be enjoyable, so try and keep an open mind (unless of course the planned activity is carrying you to the “No Tell Motel” and getting busy – but that’s me just reliving MY hell date
)
I would prefer to not do a movie on a first date, but as long as there is dinner/coffee/conversation somewhere within it, it’s cool with me.
Raqi
April 10th, 2009
9:36 am
Mozzarella I saw that show once. It was quite hilarious yet kinda stupid.
Good company hell date? (Since swissroll brought it up.) Mase and I met for lunch one day. It was turning into one of those extended lunches. We were not married yet. After having lunch he drove me back to work and we starting making out in the car. That led to “let’s get a room”. We headed to Renaissance, everything was going right, the heat was surely rising. We go in to the desk tell them we want to get a room, containing our inner lust that was about to explode. It took literally over 15 minutes to get checked in. The guy said that the computer kept acting up, but it was clear that he did not know what he was doing. He was trying to charge us double the price. It got rather aggravating after a while. Talk about a buzzkill.
Tazzee - closing Monday
April 10th, 2009
9:39 am
Well, the first way to avoid a hell date is to check your attitude.
Totally agree! I’ve been on first dates where things didn’t go exactly as planned but because the guy was cool I had fun just working out the kinks.
I need a drink….
QC
April 10th, 2009
9:46 am
Morning Bloggers…..i’m off today
Enjoy this GOOD FRIDAY & EASTER
THE BEST WAY TO REALLY AVOID A “HELL DATE” IS NOT TO GO ON ONE ;0 HOLLA!
http://www.blackthen.com
AmazonRed™ - raising the bar on these ninjas
April 10th, 2009
10:02 am
Looks like I’m the latest victim of a name highjack. I didn’t post the 9:58 I’ve got the ™ on it!
Raqi
April 10th, 2009
10:04 am
So that’s who posted as me “Raqi” at the VSB.
East Point's Own
April 10th, 2009
10:04 am
Raqi Come on now its 2009 there are websites that will alow you to schedule a fake call or text to be sent to you at a preset time, or applications you can load onto your phone that cally you and plays a message so your date can hear that someone is talking to you on the phone…
http://popularitydialer.com/
http://www.trinketsoftware.com/FakeCall/
http://www.wikihow.com/Fake-a-Cell-Phone-Call
NYCUTIE- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 10th, 2009
10:07 am
That is so WACK!!
East Point's Own
April 10th, 2009
10:10 am
I think my post went into the ether… but Raqi welcome to the 21st Century http://www.wikihow.com/Fake-a-Cell-Phone-Call
AmazonRed™ - the real one, not the bootleg version
April 10th, 2009
10:11 am
Raqi – What is the VSB?
Raqi
April 10th, 2009
10:16 am
EastPoint that’s a lot to go thru when you can just excuse yourself to the powder room and call someone and have them call you in X number of minutes. Or as my one of my friends do, have a text message waiting to be sent and should the matter approach send it.
Atltwen
April 10th, 2009
10:18 am
Off topic:
NYCutie, Tazzee, AmazonRed – Remember my communication w/you all about my ex-best friend w/benefits and how or if I should communicate w/her about my feelings and our past and all that other stuff on Wednesday.
Guess what? She beat me to the punch!! She called me yesterday (Thursday) – totally unexpected, we don’t talk on phone at all – unfortunately I was not at home. But isn’t that ironic how we talked about her one day and she called me the next? Maybe that is a sign?
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
April 10th, 2009
10:19 am
To avoid Hell Dates both parties should use common since and courtesy.
Guys…if you ask a woman out…..YOU SHOULD FOOT THE BILL! If your funds are low that is when creativity comes into play. Not the, come to my house and we can watch a movie crap either. Any chick with half of brain should not fall for that one nor allow you to come to her crib. After all she just met you. Here is a freebie….Fred Astaire Ballroom offers one free lesson in Ballroom and Latin. Granted in the warmer months there are more options….Stone Mountain for example.
LADIES…DON’T ASSUME THAT GUY HAS HOME TRAINING! If he takes you to a restuarant and if you only have $30….do not order anthing over $20 so you will have tax and tip to cover your half! I had a guy ask me out to dinner then told me that we have to make a run for it because he only had enough money to pay for his one beer (I was wondering why he did not eat…you live and you learn). Lucky for me Mami taught me to never assume.
Also…always drive yourself. I know old school dating is the guy picking you up. But then you are at his mercy somewhat. I went against that once about 2 years ago and the guy and I had been hanging out for a little over month. So I drove to his crib and got in the car with him and we went to a bar to meet wiht his home boys. This trick decided to send a beer over to my date. I started to drink the beer and thank her for it…but beer is nasty! So after calming myself down and not hitting her over the head with that bottle for the utter disrespect…I deceided to do a character check on dude. He should his true colors…he thought he was being slick and asked his boy to give the girl his card. So I said why don’t you do you own dirty work? He was shocked that I heard him. So I said nothing to him the rest of the night…the ride back to his crib was long and silent. When I got back to my car I curse him so bad and told him not to contact me ever again. You can’t apologize for something like that. That is not a mistake…you are just a scuzzbucket on the hunt for booty. Glad he never had mine!
AmazonRed™ - the real one, not the bootleg version
April 10th, 2009
10:21 am
Atltwen – That is great and hopeful news. Congrats. As long as she’s doesn’t “need” something when you talk to her, then I think you’re golden.
(Didn’t post the 10:13 either – but I’m sure y’all know that
)
NYCUTIE- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 10th, 2009
10:26 am
A- That is cool but STILL tread softly since you aren’t sure if she is the ONE.. Let her lead
dw
April 10th, 2009
10:27 am
Find out what she likes and compare them to the things that interest you. If you don’t necessarily care for the types of things she likes but are willing to try something different, just admit to her that you don’t know much about those types of things and ask her to suggest a place. On the other hand, if she is into things that you just know you can’t get with then don’t even bother with going on a date. Be upfront and honest with her by letting her know that the two of you have completely different interests and it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to date. You can’t miss what you never had.
Lisa
April 10th, 2009
10:27 am
Happy Good Friday to everyone!
The first view words of a conversation with a new person you’ve
just met will determine if you want to hear more by going a date.
AmazonRed™ - the real one, not the bootleg version
April 10th, 2009
10:27 am
So after calming myself down and not hitting her over the head with that bottle for the utter disrespect…
Staceye –
Tazzee - I need a drink
April 10th, 2009
10:28 am
AmRed I knew that wasn’t you, LOL. Don’t sweat it.
Raqi Someone stole your moniker over at VSB? Interesting…
Wise Diva
April 10th, 2009
10:29 am
Man, stop swiping folks screen names!! I can’t wait till Spring Break is over, LOL
dw
April 10th, 2009
10:29 am
Or tell her about the things that interest you and see if she’s willing to try something new. If neither is interested in the things that interest the other, then (see previous post).
Tazzee - I need a drink
April 10th, 2009
10:35 am
Atltwen I have to agree with NYC, it’s great that she called but until you figure out what you want from her, just ease back into the friendship.
Staceye So if you had driven yourself, would you have cursed him out on the spot?
I know it kilt you to hold it in until you got back to your car.
Raqi
April 10th, 2009
10:36 am
This trick decided to send a beer over to my date
I know Staceye Just scandalous. SMH
A couple of weeks ago Mason and I went to Fox Sports Grill and was waiting for a table as well as for our couple friends to arrive. This other lady was waiting also. I don’t know if she was there with others or just on the prowl. But I so her look in our direction like twice. She walks pass a few other people and comes over to ask Mason what time did he have. He asked me “baby what time is it?” and he clearly had on a watch that she could probably see. After I told her she sashayed her behind right on back over to where she was standing.
Just scandalous. A man standing there with his pregnant wife…
And yeah you should always take your own car until you get to know the person. You don’t want to ever find yourself in a car having confrontation with a stranger who could be a crazed lunatic. Look at Rihanna, and she knew who she was with. Or she thought she did. Just imagine being with a stranger.
AmazonRed™ - the real one, not the bootleg version
April 10th, 2009
10:43 am
She walks pass a few other people and comes over to ask Mason what time did he have. He asked me “baby what time is it?” and he clearly had on a watch that she could probably see.
That is a class act. Go Mason.
NY2GA
April 10th, 2009
10:43 am
Greetings all.. I am not NY2GA, INC but the first NY2GA.. (just had to get that out there lol …)
Hey Wise, long time.. Glad to see you are still at it.
Today is a light day at work so I thought I would chime in.. Really, this should be very easy and a no brainer. During your initial convo you are going to find out what interest her and you are going to share your interest. Like someone said earlier, if you don’t have the funds, don’t go making a dinner date. Save up a few bucks fellas and take her to a nice restaurant or lounge where the two of you can vibe and get to know one another. This will tell you a lot about how things are going to happen going forward.. Ladies, you can do the same you know. Invite him out, see how he acts.. Peace all and Happy Friday.
Raqi
April 10th, 2009
10:44 am
Yes Tazzee but Liz told me what steps to take to avoid it. It was funny because when I got wind of it I inquired with the headmasters and Liz said she thought something was weird about the two comments that were made. They were so not the usual Raqi. Because I don’t read over there everyday I don’t know how many times the person did it. One of my friends who I got hooked on the VSB saw it one Friday and called me that following Saturday afternoon and let me know.
Tazzee - I need a drink
April 10th, 2009
10:44 am
He asked me “baby what time is it?” and he clearly had on a watch that she could probably see.
Classic! You should have thrown your shoe at that heifer as she walked away. Well, I guess not, but that would have been funny.
SexyCool
April 10th, 2009
10:44 am
I agree with the statments about bad dates being about the person and not the place or the activity.
I have been able to avoid horrible dates mostly from proper pre-date screening. If your conversation or vibe is wack on the phone, it’s pretty much guaranteed that there won’t be much going on in person. When I come to that sort of conclusion, I won’t waste that person’s time or mine.
Three Words Daily – Now’s the time.
Jimmy
April 10th, 2009
10:45 am
Racin’ If she don’t wanna go,there ain’t no future in it.
Seriously, the most fun first date I ever had was one of the least expensive ones ever. We had a dinner planned, but the darn place caught fire-seriously. So, in the midst of laughing our tails off at it, we decided to do our own dinner-we both love to cook, so why not?
We hit Publix, bought the stuff we’d need, headed back to my place, and cooked it ourselves.
Found out we were very compatible. Ended up married three years later.
Tazzee - I need a drink
April 10th, 2009
10:45 am
Raqi but that was you yesterday, right?
NY2GA
April 10th, 2009
10:46 am
NY Cutie, are you actually from NY? If so, what part and how long have you been in the ATL?
Tazzee - I need a drink
April 10th, 2009
10:49 am
Jimmy That’s a cute story – thanks for sharing. That’s what I’m talking about – a great attitude is very important on a first date.
NYCUTIE- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 10th, 2009
10:49 am
NY2GA- Of course I am from NY
Born & raised on the upper westside of Manhattan. I have been in GA for 5 years..
Jimmy- That isn’t considered a date.. Glad it worked out for the two of you!
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
April 10th, 2009
10:55 am
ARED…it took everything in me NOT to bottle bash her I swear! My anger management actually worked.
TAZZEE…girl it was the longest ride. You know if my car was outside I would have cursed him out on the spot….and would have told ugly chick that they desreve each other….she was ugly inside and & and was ugly outside! Or maybe I woudl have poured that beer on him!
Wooosa….woosa! 
RAQI…ole stank heffa trying to hit on your hubby while you are there. I told you..these desperate chicks here are a trip! No morals! SMH
NY2GA….what part of NY are you from again? LEGGS is from the Bronx, I am from Manhattan..somebody is from BK if I am not mistaken. I think we had all but Staten Island on here. We even had L.I and Yonkers.
Atltwen
April 10th, 2009
10:56 am
AmazonRed, NYCutie, Tazzee – I took phone call as a confirmation that we should talk, not as a sign that she is “the one” or anything like that.
And you’re right, ladies, I do need to figure out what I want from her and I’m really not sure what that is at this point.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
April 10th, 2009
10:59 am
NYCUTIE..OMG
we have a lot in common..I moved here 5 years ago too and from upper westside.
NYCUTIE- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 10th, 2009
10:59 am
A- Cure your curiosity with a nice dinner date in a non romantic restaurant and don’t spend the night together afterwards..
NYCUTIE- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 10th, 2009
11:01 am
Staceye- Really??? WOW
I UPS’d my stuff down here cause my ex boyfriend was a stalker.. Bananas!!
In all my years up north, I have NEVER had the urge to go to Long Island.. lol
NYCUTIE- I Just State The FACTS!!
April 10th, 2009
11:02 am
WTH?
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/04/10/2009-04-10_teen_drugged_and_raped_inside_limo_she_says.html
East Point's Own
April 10th, 2009
11:06 am
Raqi You have to look at it like this.. #1 you get to keep your buisness ( bad dates) private… LoL
#2 if you date often you set up the fake call service one time and then just activate it when necessary and you don’t have to bother any of your friends…
#3 the services/ applications never forget to call as planned and on time.
East Point's Own
April 10th, 2009
11:09 am
Did I ever say that I hate having tenants…. if you can’t pay rent on time at least call, I was just downloading the eviction process forms… LoL