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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Archive for April, 2009

Good For Me or Good To Me

There were some really interesting comments made yesterday about “bad girls” and their appeal, or lack thereof. I started to think about how so many of us single people often end up dating people who are good for us. What happens when they are not though? Do you think that it is best to date someone who is good for you or someone who is good to you.  Of course, we would want both all rolled in one person, right?

When someone is good for you, they are good for your personal growth. They challenge and encourage you because they want to see you fulfill your potential. When someone is good to you, they nurture and protect you. You feel cared for because your role in their life is prominent.

Do you prefer dating someone who is good for you or good to you? Do you think you need both in a relationship? Which is more important?

Have you ever dated someone who was not good for you, but they were good to you? How did that work out?

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Beside Every Bad Boy

I once read that beside every bad boy is a bad girl. I interpreted this to mean that some men are drawn to the bad girls for the exact same reasons bad boys are so appealing to the ladies: excitement. The allure of excitement translates to passion; and passion can translate to, well a lot of good stuff!

While the excitement can make a bad girl seem intriguing there is a fine line between bad girl and wicked woman. Why are bad girls rarely seen without a man?

Guys, what is your definition of a bad girl? I am not talking about the emotionally unstable creatures or the psycho chicks. The bad girl that I am referring to are the women who have a little edge. How much “bad” can you handle?  Is there a particular edginess that is actually attractive without being a turn off? Have you ever met a woman that just drew you in with her bad girl attitude or behavior? Did you ever have a relationship with a bad girl?

Ladies, is it true that every woman has at least a little bad girl in her? …

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Love is Blind

They say that love is blind and Philip Markoff’s fiancee’, Megan McAllister, is probably the most classic case of this that I’ve heard of recently.  Her latest statement: “To me and my family, he is a loving and caring person, and in the eyes of the law and the Constitution, he is innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.”

The accused “Craigslist Killer” is being charged with some pretty terrifying things. Surely she was devastated when she learned about the allegations and the evidence that was found in the home that they shared. Although she has made public statements in support of Markoff, I really wonder what she is thinking about. Is she reflecting back on what she overlooked or didn’t see? Were there signs that she could have caught?

We have all heard of “ride or die” in songs and used in our dating lexicon, but does it mean that love is blind?

What would you do if someone you were dating was accused or charged with a crime? Would your first thought be to …

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Are You Afraid of Flying Solo?

Good Morning! Today’s topic is courtesy of our fabulous “Sexyleggs”.  I think she has a pretty interesting topic that would be great to explore. Have you ever heard the saying, “Better the devil you know, then the one you don’t”? What happens when fear of singlehood is the primary reason you are with someone? Check out what SexyLeggs wrote and join in the discussion.

Do you find that more and more people are staying in loveless, boring or even painful relationships because they’re afraid of being alone? For those of you that stay, or know of friends that stay, could one of the reasons be that you see your “worth” being defined by your relationship or marriage?

Although I certainly DO NOT agree with this, I realize there are many people “stuck” in relationships and marriages because to leave would be a stigma to their family and to their belief system. They don’t want anyone to know that they failed at the institution of marriage. Are you one of those who fear starting over and …

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Love Scene For Two

I love the anticipation of a new romantic interest coming to your place for the first time. Hopefully the place is clean and smells fresh, with mood lighting and music. I think that romance adds to the chemistry between you and your date. Guys, you may not realize how much your romantic skills impress women. It goes a long way, it can be what keeps you in the mix! Ladies, we also can leave a great impression when we romance men, paying close attention to what he likes.

How do you set up a romantic night at the crib? What was the best “at home” date night you ever had? I remember when a guy went all out with a romantic evening for me. I won’t ever forget the care and attention he put into the night. I felt so cared for!

A lot of us are trying to save a little money, so home dates are probably on the rise! Do you think that is a good thing or a bad thing? How do we make the best of it?

Happy Friday!

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The First 90 Days

If you can’t accept him just as he is, should you really continue dating him?

These were the words that pulled me back to reality. I had been whining to my buddy about a guy who I wished would “get his stuff together”. I lamented about the list of things I felt would prove he was a good catch for me: If he could only stop smoking, if he could just get a better paying job, then we could get serious.  I spent the first 90 days literally picking him a part looking for things to change. Big mistake and a common pitfall for single women. That is not what the first 90 days should be about.

How do you usually navigate dating in the first 90 days? If you both are seeking something meaningful, do you use this time to have fun without the expectations? Do you ever worry about getting caught up and confusing how you feel about someone in the beginning?

I think men generally are in observe and report phase. They observe the women for “the crazy” and make a mental report of what kind of …

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Sign on the dotted line

You don’t need Donald Trump’s assets or Oprah Winfrey’s money to consider a prenuptial agreement these days. More and more people are choosing to protect their financial assets, just in case. Is this a sign of how we view marriage?

If you can get past the “implied distrust” that prenups can bring, then maybe you can decide on terms that work for the both of you. Some of the prenuptial agreements being used today also map out a specific plan that outlines the couple’s finances and how they will be managed during the marriage. However, some  go as far as to require that the husband or wife maintain a regular sexual relationship with the other partner in order to be eligible for any portion of assets.

Considering your current financial standing, would you ask for a prenuptial agreement…. before you got married? If so, how would you bring it up? Would you have the papers ready prior to speaking to your partner?

If you love someone should you trust that person with your whole …

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Guilty of Illegal Dumping?

I want to address an issue that is rampant on Atlanta’s dating scene. It’s something we have all done at one time or another: illegal dumping. Ruling someone out for a completely frivolous, nonsensical, utterly ridiculous reason. 

For instance, why dump someone for working a retail job when you work in a pharmacy? Why? That doesn’t even make sense! Or how about letting someone go because he has a cat. What’s wrong with a guy owning a cat? Seriously, illegal dumping is actually a symptom of something deeper. Perhaps you should not date anyone for awhile.

I know we all weed out potential dates on things we find personally undesirable, but what happens when these undesirable traits are completely without merit? What if they are just a perception? Why do we bail out so quickly?

Are you guilty of illegal dumping? Are you a victim of it? What is the most frivolous, totally silly reason you dumped someone? What do you think is the dumbest reason you have ever been dumped? Be …

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I Do NOT Hook Up

It is always so interesting to people watch on any given weekend in Atlanta’s social scene. If you pay attention to how we engage each other, you will realize singles sure have a way of getting a message across. The problem is getting the “right” message to the “right” people. I heard a Kelly Clarkson song on the radio the other day called I Do Not Hook Up. Now there’s a message for you!

I think that a lot of times our conversation, flirt techniques, and how we approach a prospect, convey “messages” all the time. Now, the “I do not hook up” message is important to a single woman seeking an actual relationship. A man can be talking to a total vixen and not know it because she is not going to send her vixen signal out to him. We know men desire us. We get it. We desire you too! We just aren’t always down for the hooking up. 

Ladies, do you have challenges with sending a “I do not hook up” message to men that you meet? What if you are just looking for the casual thing? Do you let …

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Why do we lose interest?

We hear it on TV, from friends, even relatives. It’s perhaps gallows humor, but for many, they’re joking about the cruel truth: eventually, you’ll stop wanting to have sex with your partner. 

That may be true for many of us, but the question TV, friends and relatives never answer is why. Is it because the passion you thought was real was just temporary lust? Is it because the familiar becomes boring? Is it that familiarity breeds contempt?

I was in a two-year relationship in which the intimacy fizzled, big-time. I think it was a mix of unresolved arguments that created an emotional divide I couldn’t overcome, combined with me feeling just plain unsexy after him seeing me with the flu or a stomach bug or simply in my worst states. Frankly, I think my own immaturity played a role, as I was then probably unable to handle the true intimacy that comes with a serious relationship.

Have you ever lost interest in sex with your main squeeze? And don’t give me any run-around about if …

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