As the dating blogger, I’m occasionally sent books about relationships and finding true love. The latest to cross my desk is “Stupid About Men: 10 Rules for Getting Romance Right” by Christian therapist Deborah Dunn. In it, she uses the term “SAM Syndrome” to describe women who are, you guessed it, “stupid about men.”
Wondering if you might be such a person? Here’s an excerpt:
How a Woman with the SAM Syndrome Thinks:
• My value as a woman is determined by a man.
• My self-image is in direct proportion to my sexual desirability.
• The purpose of life is to find true love.
• If a man does not love me, God has forgotten me.
• The power of my love can change a man.
• To be needed is to be loved.
And How a Woman with the SAM Syndrome Behaves:
• Constantly compares herself to other women.
• Is self-critical and obsessed with weight, appearance and clothing.
• Complains frequently of loneliness and a fear that life is passing her by.
• Is impulsive in love and enters into sexual intimacy too soon.
• Has a high degree of need for excitement and intensity in relationships.
• Is drawn to emotionally unstable men she must rescue, or is drawn to men who will rescue her.
Yikes. Ladies – did any of these qualities resonate with you? Fellas, did you see any of your past partners in these descriptions? Do we agree that all of these are signs of women who have unhealthy views of relationships? I mean heck, does the fact I wish I had better abs mean I only want better abs to get a man?
(By the way, Dunn’s message is for people to first love themselves and find their soul, and then to find a partner who brings out their best. Maybe once I finish this book…)