In Treatment
I am excited that HBO’s In Treatment is returning for another season soon! I am always intrigued with shows that explore relationships and intimacy in a unique way. I also wonder what would happen if I found out that someone I was dating was seeing a therapist. Would it be a turn off?
I remember once meeting a guy who had a “life coach” and thought it was surprising that he actually told me about it. When I mentioned to my father that the guy had a life coach, he told me to stay away from the guy. Then he proceeded to make fun of the fact that men today needed help to deal with life. Which then launched him into those “when I was growing up” stories, but I digress. The point is, my father is old school and he doesn’t believe that men should be “in treatment”. What are your thoughts?
Would it bother you if someone you dated had a therapist?
If you are in treatment, do you disclose this to someone you are dating? If so, when and how do you bring it up?
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233 comments Add your comment
AmazonRed - kissed by the sun
March 24th, 2009
12:26 pm
Another time had to tell someone that after every reasonable attempt to appeal to his rationale intelligence…I had to finally come to the conclusion that it was an excercise in futility…because he did not have any boy did that make me feel better too…oh and another is when I just tell someone that I do not like them…like in, “No, I am not in a bad mood or having a bad day…I JUST DO NOT LIKE YOU.”
Cemeeli
March 24th, 2009
12:26 pm
Dan – If i hadn’t read that early morning post from you twice, i would have thought that you were posting under Cemeeli’s moniker. IN my subconcious.
Thanks bruh!
somekind of drugged half limp smile —>here<—
THE MELO
March 24th, 2009
12:30 pm
Something in her head should have clicked and said this is on going to work
U right Kym,its hard to sympathize with some of these folks.They have to learn some basics,albeit much later in their adult lives.GREED is not good,itS SINFUL!
THE MELO
March 24th, 2009
12:37 pm
hmmph,wonder if i can eat now
CEE,im wondering,hmmph,is bread and starch and them making u look taller or its making u look wider,stockier and more compressed,looking more tightly packaged?
M'Karyl
March 24th, 2009
12:38 pm
@Ared
So true…I am not obligated to like everybody nor is everybody obligated to like me…coo enuff…but when I by nature of how I am make every reasonable attempt to convey civil indifference and distance, and by no fault of my own volition…I need to get straight out to the point…too bad.
Another good stress reliever was the time a dude was all in my face grinning like a fool and he ask me when was he going to see me again…to which I replied “To be honest, I would rather suffer the pungence of being locked in a sealed room with a herd of flatulating elephants than to suffer being in your presence again”…all will a smile on my face…his face dropped…his friend tapped him on the shoulder and said “Man, I do not think she is really digging you.”
BLOW ME a.k.a Most hated on...well not so BEAUTIFUL has taken the cake lol
March 24th, 2009
12:38 pm
Dreams Your 9 o clock was on point. I am in agreeance
AmazonRed - kissed by the sun
March 24th, 2009
12:44 pm
“To be honest, I would rather suffer the pungence of being locked in a sealed room with a herd of flatulating elephants than to suffer being in your presence again”…all will a smile on my face
Damn M’Karyl!
I like that tho.
M'Karyl
March 24th, 2009
12:57 pm
<strong.@Ared
Uh-huh…beats taking high blood pressure meds LMAO
Poppa Grande
March 24th, 2009
1:14 pm
Kym
I see both side of that argument. The borrowers should know better. However, there were some lenders promoting some bad things.
For example, Ron Shippley is one of the worst people in the ATL mortage scene. He is the Lenox Financial guy that has the tagline “The biggest no-brainer in the history of Earth.” He promoted the multiple adjust mortgage.
Personally, I feel that some of these cases are more equitable estoppel issues. The borrower relied upon the lender in making their decision. That seems to be the case in your example.
So, it isn’t as cut and dry as it seems. If it were, you’d have no reason to go into law.
Ms. Interpret
March 24th, 2009
1:18 pm
i guess it would depend on how long they’ve been seeing the therapist. why would a person visit a shrink more than six months? and what are they trying to fix?
Cemeeli
March 24th, 2009
1:20 pm
Melo Thicker, stockier, taller? Nah, Melo i’m looking ‘just right’.
Dan
March 24th, 2009
1:22 pm
@PG
I think that’s the next phase in the whole “mortgage meltdown”. Lawsuits by people that bought homes solely based on incomplete calculations presented to them by the lender/agent.
There should be prosecutions.
lurker
March 24th, 2009
1:22 pm
The power of prayer….
lurker
March 24th, 2009
1:23 pm
What did folks do (esp black folks) when we didn’t have doctors or couldn’t afford? We prayed. It was sufficient.
Ms. Interpret
March 24th, 2009
1:23 pm
watching movies like the sopranos, i believe therapy doesn’t fix anything. you are just talkin’ to someone who has no connections to your life so it makes it easier to be open. jmo. yes, i would want to know and i would want to know whatelse you’re doing besides throwing good money away to get your mind right.
THE MELO
March 24th, 2009
1:27 pm
i’m looking ‘just right’ GOOD! At least if i can distinctly identify the twins from the rest of ur back,thats good! Frontal chest area is cupped up,the six pack is toned,the twins are gaga on rear guard and them leggs are pivoting everthing str8 in girrafe fashion.Its spring and almost summer,summer,summertime!
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 24th, 2009
1:28 pm
LURKER….It may have appeared ot be suffiencient. But look at all the emotional stuff in our community….high rates of broken homes,crime rates, teen pregnancy, etc. maybe if some folks got help a long time ago some of this would have been avoided.
Poppa Grande
March 24th, 2009
1:28 pm
Dan
I’m not so sure that there is a case for that, either. Sure, borrowers can sue, but I don’t think that they have much of a case either.
One of the first and most important freedoms in contract law is the freedom to enter into a contract. That also includes the right of a party to enter into a bad contract.
You would open the door for the State (gov’t) to determine what contracts people can enter into. Which would then lead to the gov’t getting into our free market system. That leads towards true socialism IMO.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 24th, 2009
1:29 pm
KYM…oh your son thinks you were hatched as an adult?
yeah I could not fathom my mami as my age when I was growing up either. Everything she said I was like, “yeah right”!
M’KARYL…wow..tell her how you really feel!
THE MELO
March 24th, 2009
1:29 pm
There should be prosecutions…Nawwwww!
No prosecution pinned on ignorance and greed! If u cant afford it,dont buy it.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 24th, 2009
1:30 pm
KYM…I always wonder those people could get loans. I mean even if the person is nuts…the perosn giving the loan should be questioned too. I think the approver of that loan is related to the Dr. who implanted Nadia chick knowing that she already had 6 kids with no job or husband. Granted…Nadia’s a wack job…but the Dr. should have had some thought of referring her to a shrink first. No reputable shrink would give the ok for this. The kids are suffering because of this.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 24th, 2009
1:32 pm
KYM…I always wondered how these people could get loans. I mean even if the person is nuts…the person giving the loan should be questioned too.
Dan
March 24th, 2009
1:32 pm
@Lurker
I think the reliance on prayer as oppossed to analysis, is part of the cultural problems.
When the uncle that wears the helment couldn’t get right, they prayed about it and kept him in the house;
When grampa drank too much he was either to be avoided when he was drinking or they prayed for him;
When an epileptic had seizures, they prayed for him (admittedly, this was a rare occurance);
But the reliance on prayer and the stubborn refusal to address the core issue that prompted socially unacceptable behavior is a part of the Black cultural past
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 24th, 2009
1:32 pm
I think the approver of that loan is related to the Dr. who implanted Nadia chick knowing that she already had 6 kids with no job or husband. Granted…Nadia’s a wack job…but the Dr. should have had some thought of referring her to a shrink first. No reputable shrink would give the ok for this. The kids are suffering because of this.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 24th, 2009
1:35 pm
I also think the approver of that loan is related to the Dr. who implanted Nadia chick knowing that she already had 6 kids with no job or husband. Granted…Nadia’s a wack job…but the Dr. should have had some thought of referring her to a shrink first. No reputable shrink would give the ok for this. The kids are suffering because of this.
Rell - back at it
March 24th, 2009
1:37 pm
What did folks do (esp black folks) when we didn’t have doctors or couldn’t afford? We prayed. It was sufficient
- NAW JOE…alot of our folks went crazy…but it was never reported…alot of those older cities could tell you some severe tales if they could speak about the hoods..
Dan
March 24th, 2009
1:38 pm
@PG
The absurd incentivizing of mortgage sells is in part what created this mess. Loans were given without concern for risk, because in the heyday, if the person couldn’t pay, the bank would absorb the loan and resell it to the next sucker. All the concern was for the profits (by the builder, the mortgage broker, the bank).
The BoD’s at most of these companies are not exempt, and quietly they (or the insurance companies that will pay the claims) should be sued.
And while I take your point about contracts, contracts are binding on both ends. My point was not about the legal document, but the social contract that bound borrower to lender, buyer to seller, and all the intermediaries to making a deal that would work, and finding profit within that construct.
Poppa Grande
March 24th, 2009
1:38 pm
Staceye
I always wondered how these people could get loans
Apathy is how these people got loans. Americans got lazy and didn’t watch while their reps and senators got bought by banks and sellers. That allowed for deregulation.
Deregulation defended vehemently by many conservatives.
Kym
March 24th, 2009
1:39 pm
Please tell me..how is watching a movie or show like the sopranos going to give anyone a clear view of the benefits or non-benefits of therapy?
@PoppaG I know both sides whole the blame..I just feel like trust or no trust everyone can judge their own situation. The woman on dateline was pretty much homeless before she went and bought that condo. Now if you can’t afford an apartment why in the name of all creation would you go buy a condo? But I understand what you are saying the blame is plentiful. And I agree with your accessment of the lawsuits. Sue who? and for what? It was a contract, bad or not you signed on the dotted line.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 24th, 2009
1:40 pm
RELL…I co-sign your 11:37. They just became the family members you did not speak of and kept hidden. Or “Roots” were the blame for them going crazy.
THE MELO
March 24th, 2009
1:43 pm
Cemeeli
My only problem with summer is them tats on chics.I hate to see a sightful of phine,glittering and lovely and wellshaped and oiled leggs to be destroyed by some jacked up and wickked and nasty tatoos!
And this chic had the nerve to put a bright blue on them brown leggs and the tat lines were running all around her long legs.
Uggggggggggggggghhh,just nasty!
Kym
March 24th, 2009
1:43 pm
@Dan how are the BOD going to be sued? And again on what grounds?
Rell - back at it
March 24th, 2009
1:45 pm
But look at all the emotional stuff in our community….high rates of broken homes,crime rates, teen pregnancy, etc. maybe if some folks got help a long time ago some of this would have been avoided.
yea but we not allowed to speak on it…we just get more high…more drunk…party more…lay around more…and have more disrespectful kids…getting raised by disrespectful girls…..alexxis tylor said it best we have two cigarette double dyck clutching sluts….lol
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 24th, 2009
1:46 pm
MELO…I happen to love tattoos. Black only though. Color to me does not look that goodon brown skin.
Leggs
March 24th, 2009
1:48 pm
Speaking about mortgages and buying homes one can’t afford, I remember when I first set out to buy a home I was approached by loan company. When I called to make an appointment w/them I was told “I’m just now leaving the office. Since I’m not far from where you are, can you meet me in my driveway?” WTH! I looked at the phone and said “thank you, but can’t do business w/you.” I wasn’t desparate to buy a home, nor was I greedy to get what I can’t afford by doing business with a shady company!
lurker
March 24th, 2009
1:49 pm
Enter your comments here
Cougar Hunter ( 45 and older)
March 24th, 2009
1:52 pm
To Poppa: You are correct with the contract law, but we will not see any lawsuits because a lot of these borrowers wanted what they wanted!
The loan officers made it happen for them!
Their is a Fuduciary statement for all real estate contracts as well as signing a loan application unfortunately it will not hold up because 95 percent of the people were advise about why they would get this particular loan product which allow them to obtain their American Dream!
The fall-out will be minimum the investors created the loan products to increase their profits and the banks/lenders/loan officers were allowed to used the products to make their money!
CAPITOLISM AT ITS BEST! The mortgage meltdown!
Poppa Grande
March 24th, 2009
1:52 pm
Dan
I agree with your first paragraph. However, everything has a costs including freedom.
No one put a gun the head of borrowers.
Contracts have three elements. 1- Offer, 2 Acceptance, 3-consideration.
The banks offered the money. The borrower accepted it. The bank took the risk. It was their money. They borrower accepted the terms of the offer.
When I closed on my house, it took 6 hours because the wife and I read everything and asked questions.
All adults have a duty to read. If you sign acknowledgements, in most cases, you are agreeing that you read the terms and conditions & AGREE to abide by them.
Board of Directors may be slimy, but that doesn’t mean that they did anything illegal. As long as it was legal, there is no case. The law allowed it. Contract law is all that available.
Dan
March 24th, 2009
1:55 pm
@Kym
To be on a Board of Directors, each individual signs a contract that essentially trades knowledge for fiduciary responsibility.
From the responsibiity standpoint, if it can be proven that the BoD knowingly engaged in predatory lending, bad underwriting practices (which would have been pointed out to them by their regulator or external auditor) and did nothing to stop these practices; the fidcuciary responsibility is on them as representatives for and management of these companies.
PostScript: BoD’s typically have insurance to ideminify them from lawsuits post failure, but if negligence of management can be proven the insurance is invalid and EACH director can be held financially accountable.
Cemeeli
March 24th, 2009
1:56 pm
Melo I suspect you don’t like tatoos? Think of it as expression of art. Maybe?
Yeeeees, i’ve been doing my due diligence. That man, said i betnot loose and ounce of “just right”. And i’m usually hard on myself about stuff like that.
What Queen cooking for dinner tonight. I would love to have a good ole African recipe for when i can eat again. Ever notice how hungry you are when you are banned from eating for medical reasons. I’m about pyssed at err’thing today. (but not really).
This drug got me sippin on syrup = (Naked juice) again.
SlimOne
March 24th, 2009
1:58 pm
Guess if counseling wasn’t looked at as a sign of weakness, that dude wouldn’t have hung himself off the overpass on 85…thats just sad.
Poppa Grande
March 24th, 2009
2:00 pm
Kym
I didn’t say trust. I said reliance. They are difference. If the mortgage company, made a promise and she relied on that promise to make a decision there is a defense called “Promissory Estoppel”. I feel that she could sue them if their promise induced her into accepting the loan. That isn’t the case for everyone. I just think that this case is rare given her circumstances. The bank had to know her situation. She knew her situation. Their promise of money could have induced her to accept it.
Each case is case by case. However, I see that her homeless circumstances is unreasonable for her to think that she could get a loan otherwise. Therefore, she must have relied upon this promise of money for a home.
Cougar Hunter ( 45 and older)
March 24th, 2009
2:00 pm
What is with our community with the cover-ups when our relatives are having problems. That drives me nuts! Lurker we are praying for non-believers to be heal…. How is that going to happen? We must start talking openly about all the issues that affect the AA community!
To Cee: Where is tha Tat?
Make sure it’s small and on the backside! Hehehehe!
THE MELO
March 24th, 2009
2:01 pm
Blogjob, i mean that Governor from Obama’s Illinois state has a radio gig now.The guy knew what he was doing.
And have u read about the Old national hwy hood fist and gun fight this afternoon?Check it on ajc front page.Some thenngs neva change wit black flk.
SlimOne
March 24th, 2009
2:01 pm
Cee
My cousin who is just 24 went to the doctor last week. Come to find out her cholesterol is off the charts and she was immediately put on medication…I was just thinking WoW! …but that girl loves some butta.
Rell - back at it
March 24th, 2009
2:02 pm
We must start talking openly about all the issues that affect the AA community!
thats the problem we do too much dayum talking…er body got something clever to say but nothing clever to do!!!!
Ms. Interpret
March 24th, 2009
2:04 pm
@BIG GURL
it was an example. therapy doesn’t work for most. tony didn’t change his ways thru the whole series. he only kept going back because he thought he could get the panties.
SlimOne
March 24th, 2009
2:06 pm
Why do folks hide the molestations that go on in our own families…that’s an issue right there. Sweep, sweep, sweep under the rug.
SexyCool
March 24th, 2009
2:06 pm
When I bought my house, I had no education on the home buying process. I only bought a house because my mother told me to.
At the time, the mortgage company tried to get to me agree to accepting a $200K loan. The loan originator and my real estate agent were both quite disappointed when I only bought $90K worth of house. (Something to do with the size of their commission checks. Go figure.)
THE MELO
March 24th, 2009
2:07 pm
Melo I suspect you don’t like tatoos? Only tastefully placed and in places where I, only can see it.When a tat is so provocative that an in-law or some respected fam member has to
and look sideways and 
shacking and saying ummpph,ummmp,it dont look respectable.
Why u think pple who know beter call a tramp stamp,such? If it were just me in this wrld and not anybody else, i wld prefer wang johnson be detachable and i move around and about with wang johnson on my forehead coz i like fresh air on him.Guess not.
Same with this debauchery and devalueing that goes on in the guise of freedom of this and that.