Are Men Still Hunters?
I receive a lot of emails from the single women in Atlanta who are frustated with the current state of dating. Their frustrations range from “Where are all the available men? I can’t find them?! to “Why don’t men approach?”. One reader asked a great question: Are modern men hunters? That is a fair question, I think. Women don’t always know when to recognize when a guy is “hunting”. There are times that we view their behavior as being a player, pimp, or whatever term they are using these days to describe babe magnets.
So ladies, do you consider men to still be the hunters? Do you feel, well..hunted? From your experiences and observations, do guys still go after what they want? When you are mixing and mingling, do you think men are a little lazy? From the cold approach, information exchange, and follow-up, how have Atlanta men fared with you?
Guys, we always appreciate your inside into the male mind! Break it down for us: are you still the hunter? How do you use modern technology in your hunting techniques? Have you relied on them heavily? Do you think it’s too much of a crutch?
Happy Monday everyone! What a beautiful weekend we just had! I love Atlanta in the Spring!
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354 comments Add your comment
SlimOne
March 23rd, 2009
11:36 am
Raqi,
Is ‘what’ because I was in Wal-mart? I’m not exactly sure what you’re asking. :confused:
M'Karyl
March 23rd, 2009
11:38 am
IMO the generational mentality also has a lot to do with the who and how one is deemed the pursuer and the pursued…many older cats (meaning my baby boomer male cohorts) still tend to believe that it is the male lead that should determine the hunt/chase/conquest, etc
some men have actually told me that they feel emasculated when the woman takes a lead role in the pursuit…but it seems that the younger dudes are less intimidated by this sort of assertive interaction when it is initiated by a woman…
Deeva4Life
March 23rd, 2009
11:40 am
Did Melo just say he “ain’t vulgar”??? Surely I read that wrong.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 23rd, 2009
11:43 am
SLIM…I have Liberty Mutual for home and auto. But I am not sure if they do Life.
Cemeeli
March 23rd, 2009
11:44 am
Dreams Come on. I hope you like your Big Mac well, with extra lettuce.
And why you fiesty about a raise?!?!
A lil fiesty b/c I expected more of that raise than i got. But i am thankful.
Not complaining, just explaining.
THE MELO
March 23rd, 2009
11:44 am
Yeah,i meant vulgar enough for the ajc to warn me,Deeva4Life.I think im just so smooth with it.Im all for compatibility and females and men cming together,not seperating them by using demeaning terminology..u knw.I guess some of u are used to being called all kinds of skank so u dont see the vulgarness…think?
M'Karyl
March 23rd, 2009
11:44 am
@EPO
The rudeness you speak of it very true…I have known some women who will not even acknowledge a man with the slightest bit of civil decency it they deem him to have undesirable potential…WTF!!!!…IMO, first and foremost we all all ppl…plain and simple human beings…and by george, some happen to be female and some happen to be male (uh read that as what makes us gender specific)…but as women and men we should be capable of converying just plain civil deceny to another person not based upon whether or not they spark our interest, but simply because they too are a human being.
Cemeeli
March 23rd, 2009
11:46 am
Then i have a dentist appointment tomorrow to have my tooth exstracted. Never had that done, i’m so scared! But i was more scared of having that part 1 procedure on root canal on it, and i quit in the middle of the first half of that procedure.
I’m just going to have it taken out.
Poppa Grande
March 23rd, 2009
11:47 am
Staceye
Liberty Insurance and Liberty Mutual are different companies.
I know them Liberty Mutual folks well. They actually pay their legal bills ON TIME.
Ms. Interpret
March 23rd, 2009
11:48 am
hi kids! nice to see you **KP**.
yes, men are still looking and sizing us up. and i’m doing the same, but they don’t know that. last year i wanted to try and start doing the approaching. it didn’t seem right to me. i read a survey and the marks were high for men who would love to be approached, but still it didn’t seem right.
Is it better to be a player in the game and enjoy the success for a little while, then to not be in the game at all?
***formally know as Beautiful***
lurker
March 23rd, 2009
11:49 am
Up to the MountainMen will always be hunters as long as they have an appetite which needs fulfilling.They will go after what they REALLY want no matter what it is and can be annoyingly persistent in their efforts to attain their desires.If we can agree to that,then we should also agree to,that if a man is really interested in you, he will definitely let you know! It’s just that now they don’t stand out so much as the “hunters” anymore because, the “target” is wiggling her buttocks right in his face! No need to chase! Now-a-days,women give waaay too much of themselves too often and too early. Ever heard of leaving SOMETHING to the imagination? Where’s the mystique,the romance,the thrill of the chase? It’s like the hunter has become the hunted. Women actually go out looking for men! No, it’s not shocking,but it’s just not how things should go. I tend to go on and on,however,all I’m saying is that men,as so-called,”hunters”, probably don’t mind chasing us if we start running and stop throwing ourselves at them!
Ditto, agreed, I concur……and any other saying that I could say to show how I’m sooo on board with the aforementioned. A man’s nature is what it is. The man is naturally the hunter and pursuer. That’s never changed. However because women are meeting men more than half way, men are adapting to the idea that something is wrong with you when you don’t step to them. Sorry fellas, just not the way this thing was intended. No matter how different we see the roles being played now a days. I think I too, am worth the pursuit.
M'Karyl
March 23rd, 2009
11:54 am
For those of you who want some real deal rap on sexual interaction…this sister lays it down, out and all around…not for the faint or easily embarassed…but oh so true…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKSVXp03Ytk
Raqi
March 23rd, 2009
11:55 am
Slim the fact that you did not find him asking to share a cart amusing.
I would imagine he was just trying break the ice and be humorous but what do I.
But really I was just wondering what was it about him, other than the stalking later LOL, that did not appeal to you.
kimmie
March 23rd, 2009
11:55 am
M’karyl/EPO – I agree there are some stank attitudes out here. That’s universal & that’s life. You could be turning your nose up at Jesus – our pastor did a sermon on it once. I know we are having conversation here. All I’m saying is don’t let those bad folks sour you on everyone else. Because if you’re sour, no matter how you try to hide it, it WILL SHOW, and you give off bad vibes.
Dan
March 23rd, 2009
11:56 am
@Lurker
From where do you draw the conclusion of 11:49?
Has not society and social order changed in your lifetime, at least enough to accept that was “is” the norm will not always “be” the norm?
Evolution happens slowly and over time and it is happening now. Some adjust, others do not.
Sarah
March 23rd, 2009
12:01 pm
I’ve been single for about 2 months and there are PLENTY ofmen out there. They are everywhere. I’ve been going out, trying new places and doing new things most often by myeself. Most of my friends are happily married or have chldren so it’s hard to get out schedules to line up. Men hunt, but I do know that I get way more attention when I truely out doing something I enjoy and if I’m by myself they almost always come over to keep me company. Ladies, men hunt but when was the last time anyone wanted to be approach anyone who was clearly miserable or surrounded by a football team. Have fun and be yourself men will find you.
SexyCool
March 23rd, 2009
12:01 pm
Just because ’society’ seems to have changed ‘the rules’ – that doesn’t mean that the new rules are in order with the way things should naturally be.
Tmac
March 23rd, 2009
12:01 pm
Sasssy….
I am 29, people ask me if I am stuck with that age range and ans be No. But I dont see ma self with two extreem age differences. hmmm not sure but no no being +4 -10
Ms. Interpret
March 23rd, 2009
12:02 pm
@lurker
**clapping**. good post! especially regarding the females throwing themselves at the men. the fun bags are out, etc. not classy!
Leggs
March 23rd, 2009
12:02 pm
What was, still is….
SlimOne
March 23rd, 2009
12:05 pm
@Raqi
Oh i did find the whole cart thing amusing so i smiled and just said i think i need a whole one by myself. I don’t think I got to the point of irritation until he KEPT following me putting the same stuff in his cart that I was in mine. He did this a while BEFORE he actually tried to have a convo with me. SO that freaked me out. Especially with it being late, me being by myself and no one knowing I was there. So he hit the creepy factor waaayyy too soon after the breaking the ice/funny factor. It being Wal-mart had no bearing on me. To be honest, i think that’s where most dudes approach me, in the store.
But by the time he had me cornered off in the cards section and I knew I was leaving soon, so I let him say his peace. Even he admitted his approached was a little on the crazy side and that he didn’t mean to freak me out. I think he got that clue after his 7yr old son called him on his cell phone. So he calmed down after that point. Found out he was divorced, has a son, moved here not too long ago, has two pieces of property and if he were with me, wouldn’t have me out at the store that late at night…he also said, dudes don’t go play poker on a Wednesday night..Poke HER maybe but not poker. (when asked where my dude was)
M'Karyl
March 23rd, 2009
12:05 pm
@kimmie
That is so true…I guess that I have always been the type of person to speak to and simply acknowledge other humans beings…every member of the gender you encounter is should not be sized up at a potential or not potential interest…just as a person…we never know where we may see that person again…uh, like maybe on the other side of the hiring process…truly.
Dan
March 23rd, 2009
12:06 pm
@Sexy
If society has changed then the “rules” have too. What is natural from one perspective is not from another.
Take homosexuality. For some, an blasphemy, for other a “lifestyle choice”, for others still: genetics. While the debate is ongoing the ground (the very rules) are shifting beneath our feet.
While one (or a few) individuals may have legitmate moral objections, it does not change the fact that what was once “a rule” is now quaint by comparison.
Example 2: Messigination
I was hunted!
March 23rd, 2009
12:06 pm
Men are the hunters and women must remember to be hunted. I’ve seen so many desperate women in the last few years that I can understand why men flee. A good male friend of many years once told me that a man could smell a desperate woman! These women may succeed on getting the man’s attention but it will only be sexual. Most of these women will never make it home to meet the mother. I use to notice this behavior in females ranging in the age of 21 – 30 years old; however, it seems that women between the ages of 31 to 50 are more aggressive. I’ve often heard the saying, “A piece of a man is better than no man” and this statement was rebuked! Now, I believe this statement holds true especially today. I know a woman who met this person shortly (a matter of days) after his separation. She scooped him up even before he filed for divorce. She tried to move him in with her and her kids. Shortly after his divorce, she thought they would marry. He refused and she was devastated. Is he going to marry her? Maybe, maybe not. They’ve been together for three years and he hasn’t. She’s praying that the marriage proposal will happen soon. As far him, I believe he was looking for a substitute wife (without commitment, of course!) to help him through his transition.
Philip
March 23rd, 2009
12:08 pm
Eye contact is key it starts everything.
Willie Dynamite
March 23rd, 2009
12:09 pm
Morning All- Good topic, whats being lost is like several others have stated ‘The Art of Conversation’. What happens after the push-up bra or the nice car gets you the first 2 minutes. Can you hold a conversation? If not then the potential shallowness of the initial attraction dominates the remainder of the episode(s).
I’ve never personally considered myself a hunter/pursuer. I was always taught that if you chase them they will run. My thought process was always to talk. I like looking into eyes and reading body language. I have to know that I’m stimulating your mind and vice versa. i can get azz whenever i want but the mind was always more intriguing. The women that are used to being hunted rarely have the chance to have in-depth conversations. It never failed to amaze me that when the seemingly unapproachable woman actually has a real conversation then the hunt begins so to speak.
kimmie
March 23rd, 2009
12:12 pm
M’karyl – That’s me too. And that gets back to what I mentioned earlier – I smile & speak to EVERYONE – not trying to hit on every man! But it does make it easier to approach a potential suitor if that person is at least cordial.
Sean
March 23rd, 2009
12:13 pm
I stopped hunting. I kept getting food poison! There may be a lot of “food” in Atlanta to hunt but a lot of it is contaminated! Im looking at ways to change my diet.
SexyCool
March 23rd, 2009
12:13 pm
Dan – your example clearly illustrates MY point of view. Just because so-called rules surrounding homosexuality and the debate surrounding all aspects of it may seem to be changing, it doesn’t make those changes right.
(Disclaimer – I am not saying anything against anyone’s sexuality or their rights. I am simply using DAN’s example in THIS discussion.)
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 23rd, 2009
12:13 pm
TESTING….
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 23rd, 2009
12:15 pm
UGH..this blog ate my post…is there conspiracy? I can post some thing and not this? The blog is going weak…
Let’s try this again…
I think men in ATL have gotten lazy. But I would not say it is all their fault. If women would stop throwing themselves at men then maybe they would be more apt to hunting. Ladies (and I use that term loosely for some)stop lowering yourselves to pro-jumoffs & baby mama # whatever, etc.! Once upon a time a guy would court a lady and actually take her out on a date. Now a dude can come with the, “hey I can come over your crib or you can come over mine and we can watch a movie”. Now the thought of the fact that you just met this dude does not cross your mind. All rationale goes out the window because you got “man on the brain” syndrome! Then you end up in bed with this dude and he didn’t even treat you like a lady. Hey if I were a dude and could get over on a chick I would! Ladies we have to demand to be treated the way we’d like to be. People will only do what you allow. If you find that the new McHottie is treating you like a Nottie…bounce on his butt! It is NOT that serious that you must be with him. I will call a guy on his unsavory behavior from the jump. If he does not like. Oh well…that means I took out the trash before it got to stink up my crib. Meaning…any dude that wants me to be easy is a lazy dude and not the type of guy I’d want anyway! GoodBYE!
kimmie
March 23rd, 2009
12:16 pm
I have a tendency to look very serious when I have something on my mind or am engrossed in what I am doing. I can just be minding my own business in Home Depot or Walmart or whereever. People have said I look mean. I make an effort to smile and be friendly – no I won’t bite your head off, just into deep thought right now!
SexyCool
March 23rd, 2009
12:17 pm
Stacy – cosign.
lurker
March 23rd, 2009
12:18 pm
Dan Evolution happens slowly and over time and it is happening now. Some adjust, others do not.
….but a man’s nature has not nor will ever change. Just because a woman steps to you and takes your opportunity does not mean you’ve changed by nature. She just beat you to the punch. Call it old fashion, outdate, in times past, whatever phrase works for you but for a woman, ain’t nothing better, more attractive, more sexy than a man in pursuit. The throwback from her to him should be even more so for the man…IMO Oh and Dan, trust me when I tell you pursuit (from a man), ain’t never died…LOL And no one has said anything about waiting for someone else to make your happiness. Cat and mouse has a natural balance built into the chase.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 23rd, 2009
12:19 pm
MELO & Dreams…I do not find you to be vulgar. I think we are adults here and we do not need a den mother to play communist to tell us what can and can’t be said. I was trying to post my above post for the longest and I was not cursing or anything and it would not post. But I guess Hitler is alive and well in Blogsville. I bet they will not even post this. Freedom of speech is dead here!
kimmie
March 23rd, 2009
12:22 pm
I think men in ATL have gotten lazy. But I would not say it is all their fault. If women would stop throwing themselves at men then maybe they would be more apt to hunting.
Staceye – And once again, it is the woman’s “fault”. I get so tired of people making excuses for men’s bad behavior. People can “throw” all they want and it will always be some fool out there willing to “catch”, if only for a short while.
lurker
March 23rd, 2009
12:26 pm
Staceye 12:15
Funny you should mention how now a days men want to come over as opposed to going out. I was coming out of Subway and this dude approached. First of all he was a few years younger…ummm 29….next he was looking me up and down, as opposed to basis conversation with a little eye contact in the mix. So, I thought, what the heck and gave him my number. The first call was “wassup baby”….strike 1. Chatted a few minutes and he asked if I’d like to come over the coming Sunday….strike 2 and 3. 2 and 3 because first, I don’t know you well enough to come over and 3 because you want to get to know me? How about we meet over coffee, lunch, dinner. I plainly told him that I don’t frequent dude’s home without knowing them and plainly that I’d wich he had the gumption to ask me of a good time when we could meet (again over coffe, lunch, bunch, tea, dinner). Needless to say he was taken aback but was cool with that. Seeing that he was already out of chances, the next call from him got bumped to voicemail…and the next one. Guess after the 4th call, he took the hint. Not into training some dude on how to date. No doubt he’s use to having come overs/sleep overs…LOL
honey
March 23rd, 2009
12:26 pm
Good afternoon. “So ladies, do you consider men to still be the hunters? Do you feel, well..hunted? From your experiences and observations, do guys still go after what they want?” I say YES, I never had a problem with this. I am currently seeing two great guys. I dont know what Im going to do when its time to choose, I wish I could have them both. Can any of you females admitt to wanting two guys?
Poppa Grande
March 23rd, 2009
12:31 pm
Staceye
I think we are adults here and we do not need a den mother to play communist to tell us what can and can’t be said.
Playing devil’s advocate, here. None of our “rights” are absolute. Furthermore, this blog isn’t just accessible to us here. For example, Truth blogs from the other side of the globe. Kid’s in Europe, Asia, etc can access it. This blog isn’t like a Bangbros. or Reality Kings site where we’d have to pay for it or it would be locked. There has to be some level of discretion. You never really know who’s lurking. Just a thought to remember…
After all that being said, this dating site is child’s play compared to the mean degrading stuff posted on the political blogs. If you take a look at the “Thinking Right” blog, you will see it turn to a racial issue daily. Mom blog has had topic about “Afternoon Delight”. So, IMO it is pretty tame here.
M'Karyl
March 23rd, 2009
12:32 pm
IMO…from my experience living in the ATL it is a two way street with the men and the women…I encountered so many men who believed that b/c the ratio of female:male was skewed in favor of men that the puddy was an easy dime a dozen…and then I also encountered women who so desparately competed and vied for the men that they gave up puddy like it was the seal the deal maker (if he gets mine…he won’t go anywhere else)…smh…sad but true…hence plz watch the post to that youtube video…sister girl lays it on the line…what’s love got to do with it?
M'Karyl
March 23rd, 2009
12:36 pm
@PG
Yo..the Think RIght blog is a racial wars in the mix e’erday…no matter what the subject matter.
Staceye AKA Black Mamba
March 23rd, 2009
12:39 pm
KIMMIE…you know I am not saying it is a woman’s fault. A man should be real not be jackhole! However, if a Lion who is used to hunting his meal suddenly always has the lionesses bringing it to him…why should he hunt? He becomes complacent in his newly found lazines. Is it right…no! But can you blame him? That is all I am saying.
LURKER…your situation is perfect example of what I was saying. This guy would not try that if it hadn’t worked for him before. Now obviously he had you pegged wrongly!
Bet it won’t stop him from using it on the next chick.
POPPA…I know it can be seen everywhere…but again. If folks do not like something…nobody is forcing them to join. Keep it moving!
You are right…I have read the other blogs and some of them are down right racist! But in guess that is ok in a state that still flies the confederate flag huh? 
Ms. Interpret
March 23rd, 2009
12:41 pm
@MK
**every member of the gender you encounter is should not be sized up at a potential or not potential interest**
^5. even though i don’t believe that men and women can be just friends, i may meet another good guy friend again one day and he might obey the rules this time.
Kym
March 23rd, 2009
12:44 pm
Staceye in the wild. Female Lions do all the hunting. And bring the food back to the rest of the pride. Note sometimes in nature films the lion taking down the gazelle does not have a mane.
Whatever
March 23rd, 2009
12:44 pm
Men are lazy, poorly groomed, poorly dressed, somewhat ignorant and those nasty, unkept, stinking dreadlocks–take a bath and wash your hair already. Three dates and they are trying to borrow money from you. The women have made them this way with the chasing and their fat motorcycle tire stomachs with stretch marks hanging beneath their shirts and blouses, their glued on hair, smelling like coconut (the smell is sickening) giving these leaches money. I see them at the register; the woman is paying and they are just standing there or they bring the women to the bank and follow her through the line to the Teller–black and white women–it is all so disgusting. And let us not forget those ragged, faux leather baby phat handbags. Forty year old women walking around in apple bottom jeans. Grown men walking around in the winter in shorts so big it appears as though they are standing over a street vent, flip flops and white socks. The women are always begging for something–buy me this or I want that and judging men based upon what they have when they have nothing themselves (they do not have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out) and are not attempting to accomplish anything except off the backs of other people–gimme, gimme, gimme or I weant, I weant, I weant (no use of the English language whatsoever, one can barely understand a word they say; I mean ignorance personified). Do not leave the table and go to the ladies room. It is as though they wait all evening for you to walk away to pounce on your date. I guess that is why they wear earrings which read ‘bitch’. It is all so disgusting.
Ms. Interpret
March 23rd, 2009
12:45 pm
@STAC
**But can you blame him?** nope, not at all.
Raqi
March 23rd, 2009
12:46 pm
LOL Slim oh, okay.
I just get tickled when I hear some woman complaining about a man hitting on them at certain establishments. Doctor’s offices are really the only no-nos I can think of right now. Let me think a little longer after I finish my lunch…
THE MELO
March 23rd, 2009
12:46 pm
and those nasty, unkept, stinking dreadlocks–take a bath and wash your hair already
dreadlocks cut both ways,on men and women too. too,too, 
Poppa Grande
March 23rd, 2009
12:46 pm
Kimmie
I agree with you. However, it isn’t all one gender’s fault period.
It is just life. We are ultimately individuals. Responsible for our own actions, period.
For example, Lurker gave her number to the Dude outside of Subway. She assumed the risk especially since it seems that she had a negative view of his scanning her from head to toe as opposed to giving the eye contact that she wanted.
She has a level a culpability in that encounter. He was wrong in his approach, but she assumed the risk.
For the record, there is nothing with assuming the risk as long as you learn something from it. That is how we grow as humans. Like someone said earlier, you can’t benefit by sitting at home and complaining.
kimmie
March 23rd, 2009
12:49 pm
Staceye – I gotcha.
And it’s not just Georgia – read some of the nasty racial comments on national news blogs like CNN. Folks just can’t get used to an AA in the White House, not question about it.