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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Keeping priorities in focus

My friends and I were talking about alleged differences between some men and women when it comes to their primary focus: relationship or work.

According to my male friends, men can’t get serious in an mature relationship until they have their careers in order. On the flip side, it seems we women may have an easier time striking the balance between work and love…or do we?

As my pal Jim told me, he’s often had relationships in which he felt his girlfriend(s) were hyper-focused on their relationship in a detrimental way. In turn, those same women accused him of being a workaholic who ignored their needs. 

Where’s the balance? 

Women, how successful do you think you are or have been at pursuing your career while successfully managing a relationship? Men, do you agree with the idea that you must have your professional path in order to think about settling down? Do we think both sexes generally approach these priorities the same? What accounts for the differences?

280 comments Add your comment

NYCUTIE

March 18th, 2009
8:23 am

Good Morning All :)

My man is a workaholic but he is good to me.. NOt sure if he knows how to balance work & our relationship but I can say that he knows how to balance what he is interested in :)

Check in later once I get to the office.

Cumfortable-You know you like it

March 18th, 2009
8:46 am

Morning Blog Fam
I have successfully climbed the corporate ladder all while maintaining, growing, nurturing and enjoying an amazingly loving and fun relationship with my guy. It can be done b/c I am doing it. I’m at the top of my game as far as career goes and my relationship is thriving.

IMO, those whose relationships suffer its b/c they’re just not that interested nor invested in maintaining them and work is an easy out.

SexyCool

March 18th, 2009
8:53 am

Blanca – you’ve been reading Steve’s book, haven’t you?

Quite frankly, I have come to believe that women should also focus on building their careers and setting the foundation of their lives before they began to pursue a serious relationship. This will cause you to be a wholly independent, more stable, more interesting person who is complete all by yourself, not needing anyone to ‘Jerry Macguire’ you.

(This is not something that I always knew.)

Three Words Daily – Keep Keeping On.

Raqi

March 18th, 2009
9:42 am

Actually from what I gather from some, certain women are the ones that are having to find themselves and get their careers in order before pursuing a serious relationship. The men on the other hand, that I have encountered, are more open to taking on a helpmate and supporter of his endeavors pre or midstream as he climb the ladder to success.

Why some women feel they need to go it alone or pre-relationship I don’t know.

But hey what do I know?

AmazonRed

March 18th, 2009
9:46 am

Good morning everyone. :)

There is a certain type of woman that can deal with the challenges of a workaholic, especially if it deals with the guy traveling a lot. A blogger posted yesterday how that type of man led to the demise of her marriage… I personally didn’t see what the problem was. Women who marry this type of man need to realize that the job does most often come first. You need to be less emotionally needy than a lot of women, and have a life of your own when he’s not around.

My dad was a very successful man in his day. He made quite a bit of money where my mother didn’t have to work at all. I remembered thinking that it was normal to eat dinner at 9 pm (we couldn’t eat til he got home so we could all eat together).

In any case, we got older and my mom asked him to slow down a bit to be with his family and he did. He was grinding to give us a better life, and when he slowed down, so did his career climbing. In any case, he was around more, so I guess that’s a good thing. But I know he’s left with some “what ifs.”

All this to say…there does need to be balance in everything. But just know there is also a trade off in everything. I don’t believe you can have it all and do it all with excellence. Something gets sacrificed at the expense of somethine else.

Blanca

March 18th, 2009
9:48 am

SexyCool What book? Maybe I should! ;)

FEE

March 18th, 2009
9:51 am

Good Mornin’ Blog Family…

MMMM.. interesting topic….

In the early days, Men were the bread winners, woman were the caretakers of the home and children… Women are nurturers, that is why we are heavy on emotions, feelings,etc… Back then you hardly ever heard of broken families.

Because the times have changed, and circumstance has caused the women to take on both roles at times, there has been a shifting. Because of this shifting, women and sometimes men have to accomodate the changes that have taken place down through the years and take on roles that to me were not originally designed for either role. Which can weigh heavy in relationships. There has been a loss of respect for both roles, and no one wants to stay in their “lane” so to speak.

I know my comment is a lil bit to the left of the topic. However, Be the best you can be, via educating yourself, loving yourself, setting and attaining goals. always knowing success is not defined by what you have, but by how very little you need.

Rell - Lite

March 18th, 2009
9:54 am

WOW – not to get off topic…but just WOOOOOOOOOOOOW

http://www.gillistriplett.com/rel101/articles/adultery.html

SexyCool

March 18th, 2009
9:54 am

Act Like a Lady. Think Like a Man. by Steve Harvey.

kimmie

March 18th, 2009
9:56 am

Morning Blog!

Raqi – In my dating encounters, I’ve encountered just the opposite of what you encountered. I continually met men just like Blanca decribed and what Steve Harvey talks about in his book – dudes that want to get their career in order before they put focus on a relationship. Now whether they were just using that as an out to not want to get serious with me, it is possible. But I was let know in no uncertain terms that career came first with them and no woman was going to get in the way of that. Especially those that were very driven. A few were the first in the family to go to college and as AA men, they felt a lot was riding on them to do well. I’ve never been one to try to get in the way of any man pursueing his dream and always have had my own pursuits going as well, but I was always better at balancing love & career. I’ve never been so in love with ANY job that I felt I had to bring it home & affect my personal life. I’ve always wanted to be a helpmate and tried to show my man how I could do that and not be a hinderance to his career. My late brother married while in medical school and so did a lot of professional men I have known of. Others think a woman will be a distraction and demand too much of their time. They just hadn’t met the RIGHT woman, in my opinion!

FEE

March 18th, 2009
9:59 am

To piggy back on Kimmie… I also think depending upon the maturity of a man, it is either a valid reason or an excuse as to why he wont commit..

THE MELO

March 18th, 2009
10:03 am

Good morning yaaaalll.

U can absolutely do both,pursue ur career whilst pusuing a relationship.I did that anbd still do.Any woman or man who feels left out and uncomfortable with their other party being busy is insecure! Yes, Ared,that woman was either ignorant,insecure or both.If a man is working hard for both of u plus the kid(in that case from yesterday) why should that be a cause for concern??She should have pursued her other interests to keep her busy instead of being fixated on her needy interests.
Life and time moves very fast and u only see those moments, once in your lyfe time.Why pusue one thing at a time??
Yes,these are changed times FEE,people are even pursuing multiple streems of income on a tight schedule.
Everybody gets in where they fit in and if not,move on then!

Cemeeli

March 18th, 2009
10:06 am

Morning Everyone!

I’m not necessarily “successful” in’a relationship. Where I triumph, is when I’m me, being me, doing me, and that keeps my heart good. Successful relationships will come along, or not.

Differences -
* Men are natural hunters – They will always hunt, catch, and then eat.
* Women are visionaries – We will support a purpose/vision, nurture it, (yea, I said nurture) and be content therein.

Blanca – Your friend Jim just needs to focus on what is important to him and don’t sweat the small stuff. There will be a potential to come along to either get with his program, OR she’ll just be the woman of the hour for his leisure.

I’ve been the ‘leisure’ woman before. Keep my standards for that lesson too. You’ve gotta recognize when being the “leisure woman” and act the part. If you know a guy is focused on his accomplishments, then don’t go in tryna be Suzy Homemaker. You stand the chances to get used/stringed along.

I never ever believed that we are just too busy for serious relationship at any point. We all just need to meet the person that’s ready/right for us. Imperfections included.

Sassy Me....today I'm Nicety

March 18th, 2009
10:08 am

Morning Blog Fam….I heart you guys(most of you anyway :lol:

I’ve always made it a point to maintain balance between my relationships and career and actually my relationships helped me to focus on my job more b/c I had a supportive S.O who made it his mission to help me to de-stress and I did the same for him. Really the trouble was when I was in school b/c there was NEVER any balance and I let it be known wo whomever I was dating at the time that school always comes first…period. That costed me several realtionships b/c I worked 5 days p/week and went to school on my two off days and this lasted for years but I had some serious tunnel vision when it came to getting my degree.

I also felt like if a dude is upset with me about school then he isn’t really on my team and I shouldn’t be on his…if he were in school and told me that school comes before our relationship I wouldn’t trip b/c education is forever and “WE” are not always guaranteed.

AmazonRed

March 18th, 2009
10:09 am

Any woman or man who feels left out and uncomfortable with their other party being busy is insecure! Yes, Ared,that woman was either ignorant,insecure or both.If a man is working hard for both of u plus the kid(in that case from yesterday) why should that be a cause for concern??

Melo, because one CAN be neglected in your relationship, and that was the problem for the poster yesterday. There are some folks who have jobs, like coaches, where if it comes down to being at the game or being in the delivery room, he’s going to be at the game. That’s not to say all men will make that decision, but some will and I can see how that can be a problem in the relationship. Big time!

But there are women married to these types of guys who know what they’ve gotten into. You’ve got to find a woman that understands the nature of his game.

Jazzyone

March 18th, 2009
10:09 am

I think there are different perspectives between men and women and even within the two groups that can be parallel to each other. I can speak for myself and say that I have always focused on my career and being successful Maintaining a solid relationship to boot has been good and not so good at times. The thing my parents always taught me is self preservation and rely on self. That way you will always be okay.

I will alsways do what is necessary to maintain the goals professionaly that are important to me and sustain my lifestyle/future etc. A man can deal with it or not most find it an attractive quality. Typically if they don’t they fall off anyway no loss to me. If they remain in my zone then we both bring something to the table and for love, life and all to be healthy it takes two. Just my experience.

FEE

March 18th, 2009
10:13 am

Cemeeli… Beautiful POV…

Melo… I def. understand…

But look at this, now a days, the baby boomers, our group, are so geared towards things and stuff, that family at times comes second to none against them…Because everything has becomes so materialized, we have to continue to work hard to obtain and retain them… but spend very little time nurturing the very people that bring us life, and give us love…. There is a fading away of the “simple things” in life, now we strive for big, better, advanced, things, and some people dont even see where families are suffering, the Ipod, Plasma, WII, playstation, etc, is taking over our spending time with family and nurturing them. Families hardly talk or spend time together anymore… THats why its having to take 2 and 3 incomes..for the upkeep

Blanca

March 18th, 2009
10:14 am

I love my job and imagine I’ll always work in a professional setting in some capacity, but truth be told, I probably put more weight on eventually having a family and taking care of my children. That just seems to be more important to me in the long run than a wildly successful career, though maybe it will change… On the flip side, I know my man realizes that his professional success determines just how comfortable our potential family might be, so he feels an added pressure to be super successful, whereas perhaps I rest knowing he will likely be the primary breadwinner …unless I have to step in a do it myself. =)

Beautiful

March 18th, 2009
10:15 am

Good morning WLB!!!

**Women, how successful do you think you are or have been at pursuing your career while successfully managing a relationship?**

it can be done! it’s all around us. women holdin’ it down and doin’ the dayum thang. it takes focus and determination. we are built to succeed at both . . . love and work (whether it’s a stay at home mom or a full-time gig).

it was tough, but i continued to climb as high as i can go in my company and take care of home/my guy. in addition, it all depends on how hard you love and want it.

@FEE
i apologize for yesterday. that comment wasn’t meant to attack you. just using your post as an example. i should have included a disclaimer.

FEE

March 18th, 2009
10:19 am

No Prob.. Beautiful.. all is fair in the blog world… I didnt take it to heart…

Shoot I aint gonna lie… I have proven to myself, fam, and society, that I can be educated, a bread winner, a nurturer, a homemaker, caretaker, all by myself… But now I am ready to give over the reins of leadership and let a good, God fearing man, lead me on… and I will support him fully, in all areas….

Beautiful

March 18th, 2009
10:26 am

**Men, do you agree with the idea that you must have your professional path in order to think about settling down?**

call me shallow, but a man steppin’ to a potential wifee shouldn’t do so w/o being a winner. if he’s not a prize yet, he should have a plan laid out (goals) to eventually get there . . . soon!

@HELLO MELO
babe, i work late evenings *my seniority is low since i’m new at the law firm*. and i work a lot of w/e too. they started me off as a researcher analysis, which is below paralegal. i must start somewhere and to be honest . . . i prefer it. i changed careers in 2006. i used to be a kick azz insurance underwriter. i fell into it. my first summer job was a file clerk in an insurance office. anything else i can do you for? *smile*

THE MELO

March 18th, 2009
10:28 am

Ared, i agree that one can/may feel neglected.Its important for every person to know themselves first and what works for them.Men or even women who are driven in the pusuit of their dreams may want supporetive partners in the home.If the woman or man agrees to be a supportive partner then they must understand how that goes but I think it is also important for them to find an outside interest to while up their time so that boredom does not creep in.Take care of the kids and run a small charity for example, so that you can also be busy in ur own lyfe.
If u just sit at home, watching Oprah and looking and waiting on the clock to strike the hour when daddy comes home,hell yah,it gets boring!

The Truth-Playing in the sand

March 18th, 2009
10:30 am

The blogger from yesterday was a perfect example of why you should never listen to a womans direction in life. Do what you do and if she doesn’t like it open the door. With the next guy it’ll be he doesn’t make enough money. It’ll always be something outside of her. In the end she’ll never be happy.

Rell-they always come from that religous tip but if god made everything didnt he make the desire to cheat also. When ish goes wrong they put it on satan. LOL

Cemeeli

March 18th, 2009
10:31 am

Fee – I’ve always been a gleaner. Just true to myself and inturn found someone that is the same.

Thanks.

THE MELO

March 18th, 2009
10:32 am

Beautiful,u dont have to explain stuff about yesterday to me..thats gone and water under the bridge.Today ia a new day,k.
Once i logg off from the blog,get home,get a shower and get queen under me,i aint thinking about yuall.
U wanna blog about tdays’s topic,lets do it but stop fixating on yesterday’s discssion,thats over…what was it by the way??? See,cant remember even what u talking about….dont care either..

AmazonRed

March 18th, 2009
10:32 am

melo, I agree with your 10:28. Totally. You definitely have to know yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Because you will spend a lot of time at home.

I travel a lot for my job. And I find it funny, I always seem to meet someone right as I’m about to spend 3 out of 4 consecutive weeks on the road. I haven’t found one that can truly understand my schedule yet, and they feel neglected because I’m literally not around. And I’m not even married to my career, however, while I’m working, I’m going to do my job. Not like new dude is paying any bills. :lol:

Cemeeli

March 18th, 2009
10:34 am

Fee – Let it be! A man that will negate all his old trappings and be a MAN OF GOD! You are on the mark with that!

AmazonRed

March 18th, 2009
10:35 am

U wanna blog about tdays’s topic,lets do it but stop fixating on yesterday’s discssion,thats over…what was it by the way???

:idea: This is one of my personal blog pet peeves.

Jazzyone

March 18th, 2009
10:36 am

**Rell-they always come from that religous tip but if god made everything didnt he make the desire to cheat also. When ish goes wrong they put it on satan. LOL**

I don’t necessarily equate this occurance to satan, it can also be God giving you a lesson or a test to keep you on your A game. God will let you experience the good, bad and the ugly, he will not move you out your own way but he is there when you realize you are your own stumbling block and look to him for guidance…just my experience.

AmazonRed

March 18th, 2009
10:37 am

Truth

Morning, boo! I just want to let you know that you can’t complain about me neglecting you when you neglect your inbox. ;)

Thanks for checking in. I need my Truth fix, even in small doses. :lol:

M'Karyl

March 18th, 2009
10:39 am

Well, growing up…the men worked and the women worked…most AA families in my extended community were two income families at a time most white families were still single male dominated income structured…one of the benefits was that they were more successfully aboe to combat the issues of race-related stigmas that often contributed to the detriment of the AA family stucture…and another benefit was that there was less gender-based bias due to teh equality of economic contributions in the household…so, I have seen how many common interest can be balanced and shared in well-established relationships working towards a common goal…building and sustaining the family unit.

Today, or at least in my generation and onward…the does seem to be a shift of values in that some ppl want or need to have a certain level of financial security and all bets are off for anything that could hinder those efforts…and relationships can be one of those hinderances…one thing about it…for some ppl making money is in and of itself an aphrodisiac of sorts…and it is the only turn on some ppl have…hmmmm.

Beautiful

March 18th, 2009
10:40 am

@MELO
i answered because you have asked me that question like three times! it doesn’t matter if you care or not. you obviously do. i replied so you can stop wondering why my blog schedule is wack as h3ll. so now ya know.

@TRUTH
whatever he says goes. the only time imma step in is when he needs to be put back in his lane. other than that, lead on my king.

Jazzyone

March 18th, 2009
10:42 am

Funny how shade is thrown when one person references yesterday, then the other does and theres love thrown at em”leggs over the head….man I tell ya. Ya have a wonderful and prosperous day..same old gang, same old hate, same ole drama, can’t have a mature blog day without the shade.

Let me go back to working…LMAOFF…

FEE

March 18th, 2009
10:42 am

Melo… You better not forget about me, even when you go home:-(
Truth… MMMMM dont blame to much on Satan… I know his workings….
Jazzy… God dont give you the desire to cheat, your lust of the flesh give you that desire…

I am not going religious on you all.. Just sharing, but in James it says clearly… paraphrasing, that God does not tempt man, and that There is not a tempation that is common to man, but that of his own lust, but even in those instances he give us away of escape out of them all… its about choice, and we all fall to fleshly desires…

The Truth-Playing in the sand

March 18th, 2009
10:43 am

Ared, did you just say you found a new mate? If so I need his name and number so I can book a flight home to help him meet his doctor a little more intimately. Hell to the nah you’re not letting me go. We crossed pinkies that we would wait for each other.

Fee, what exactly is a godly man? I ask because the cats in the church chase more azz than everyone except a married dude. LOL

Jazzyone

March 18th, 2009
10:45 am

**Fee** I never said say God makes one cheat hon…Im the last person that needs a sermon on GOD and if I did it deff would not come from you or this blog…get you a piece..girl stop..holla’

Cemeeli

March 18th, 2009
10:46 am

Morning M’karyl!

I suppose you still need a stone counter?!

AmazonRed

March 18th, 2009
10:46 am

Jazzyone, actually, I brought up the blogger from yesterday. It was relevent to TODAYS discussion. My pet peeve stems from folks bringing up stuff from yesterday that have no relevance to the topic at hand.

But hey, we’re all entitled to our opinions. Enjoy work. :)

kimmie

March 18th, 2009
10:46 am

Amred – On your 10:28 – That reminds me of a guy I met and briefly dated about 4 years ago. As you know, I have a little cake-baking business on the side. LITTLE is the operative word! I’m kinda busy with it around holidays, but other than that I may have to do 1 cake every 2 weeks. I’m not that focused on blowing it up yet, plus I have my regular 9 to 5. Anyway, this dude was looking for an excuse to whine about something with me. He expected me to drop everything and be at his beck & call! Funny because he really didn’t CALL that much either! But do you know he had the nerve to try and say he thought my little baking gig was going to take time away from him?!! I mean really!! The few times I was baking he was around to keep me company and we would have “fun” while the cake was in the oven. But yet it’s going to interfere with our relationship and the spending of time together??Huh!!

AmazonRed

March 18th, 2009
10:49 am

LOL. Truth, you’re still good boo. I’m waiting. I mean, I am entertaining some of these misfits while you’re gone, but I don’t think much will come from it. They’re messing up from the gate. Talking about nonsense from the jump or sending text messages instead of calling. Misadventures indeed. :lol:

The bed is cold without ya!

Sassy Me....today I'm Nicety

March 18th, 2009
10:50 am

The blogger from yesterday was a perfect example of why you should never listen to a womans direction in life. Do what you do and if she doesn’t like it open the door. With the next guy it’ll be he doesn’t make enough money. It’ll always be something outside of her. In the end she’ll never be happy.

Truth It’s obvious that I missed something on yesterday but that’s neither here nor there….I agree with your post b/c I feel that can go both ways,HOWEVER,I don’t agree with/understand the first sentence about never listening to a woman’s direction in life…please expound on that point. No I don’t need a recap of yesterday’s blog but just delve deeper into that first sentence…por favor. Gracias.

Staceye AKA Black Mamba

March 18th, 2009
10:50 am

SEXYCOOL….”Quite frankly, I have come to believe that women should also focus on building their careers and setting the foundation of their lives before they began to pursue a serious relationship. This will cause you to be a wholly independent, more stable, more interesting person who is complete all by yourself, not needing anyone to ‘Jerry Macguire’ you.” That has been my stance and feeling all along. But people said I was nuts. I understand why brides & first time moms are older now. Its because they get themselves together…enjoyed life and got a life of there own before trying to settle down. Now me personally, I do not wish to marry or have kids. So there is no rush to beat the biological clock. But those that do wish to somehow get that wedding gown and sneakers syndrome where they are in a race against time to get hitched and knocked up. Men can create babies till death. So there is no rush for them. I guess that is why the rush is only one sided.

RAQI…”Why some women feel they need to go it alone or pre-relationship I don’t know” I can answer that, As a woman who is focused on obtaining a career in entertainment. I do not have the time to focus on a relationship. Unless a guy really understands that business will always come first…it’s a no go. Now I love a guy who puts business first. That drive and ambition turns me on. Plus that means he’s got his own life and won;t be in enema mode (up my butt) all the time. :smile:

CEMEELI….”Differences -
* Men are natural hunters – They will always hunt, catch, and then eat.
* Women are visionaries – We will support a purpose/vision, nurture it, (yea, I said nurture) and be content therein.” Girl I swear I was a man in my former life. :lol: I am so not just a visionary. Yeah I see it..but I also go out and hunt & catch as well. I got my own agenda. No time to play ego stroker to someone else. Now would I support my man in his…of course. But it won’t all about him. He’s have to support mine as well. I can’t based my happiness around somebody elses dream. I got my own!

MELO..I agree with you. These clingy women know what they are getting when they marry these type of men. So it is their fault for expecting him to change because he got married. I think that “new expectations” are the demise of marriages. If he was career oriented when you were dating, engaged, etc…why do you now expect him to change? If she never cooked, cleaned, etc while you were dating, living together, eganged, etc…why do you now expect it? Stop putting new expectations on somebody once they become your spouse. If you expect them to change…then did you ever really love the person that they really are..or did you fall in love with who you thought you could make them into?

Rell - Lite

March 18th, 2009
10:51 am

i am having one of those days where i am in research mode…and just wow

http://dev.bible.org/netbible6b/passage.php?passage=Pr+7:5-23

did not know this was in there…..

Beautiful

March 18th, 2009
10:52 am

OMG.
there are no rules on here! other bloggers comment on previous topics all the time. (eyeroll) double standard like a mofo. i play catch up every morning from the day before.

also since you want to play today (smh),

**you’ve accused me several times about posting under different screen names** (snicker) yea, so! it’s only obvious. we do a great job with co-signing your post, but that’s not enough for you. using fake monikers and giving yourself a ^5 . . . and i’m the looney one. imma leave you alone with that and let you do you. k.

@MK
my mother and father has always worked . . . and so has all the other parents around me. i would have loved to be a stay at home mom, and whenever i felt the need to contribute no prob. times are tough now. one income is difficult for most.

Cemeeli

March 18th, 2009
10:52 am

Somebody’s messing with Beautiful again? When will it end?

Jazzy Why leave? – Every point of view is needed in a public forum.

This is what I meant the other day when I stated it gets real tense and uptight in here sometimes.

Rell - Lite

March 18th, 2009
10:53 am

to truths point

Don’t misunderstand me, I believe in God touching people’s hearts and turning their lives around. He touched my heart and turned my life around, but prior to that point, I would have made a terrible husband. Amongst other things, I didn’t know my God-given purpose and I knew nothing about manhood, being a husband or fatherhood. Men like that do not make good marital partners; they become internal marital problems. If you choose the wrong mate, someone who is difficult, hard to handle, troubled or confused, and expect God to convert your problematic marital partner into a living epistle, you need to know this – you are living in a fool’s paradise

AmazonRed

March 18th, 2009
10:54 am

kimmie! today is your lucky day. I happen to have a little taste testing business on the side. I will eat your food for free! :lol: I like cake. I want to try your creations. :lol:

M'Karyl

March 18th, 2009
10:54 am

@Cee

Yeah…as soon as I get my bailout and can give nice rentention bonuses :lol:

@Sassy

It is funny how the pursuit of certain goals can be inherently conflictual with regard to relationships…I remember the 5 year period for me from the point of surviving a 30 foot drop, 6 onths in a cast, livign alone and then going back to school…it seemed that the only person interested in supporting my goals without any further hinderances or obstructions was me, myself and I…at a time when I needed to be focused…in the end, I learned that if the goals I need to achieve for making my survival more viable and my intentions more achievable was to be single and to myself…then so be it.

@Truth

how is the view over there :lol:

Rell - Lite

March 18th, 2009
10:55 am

again did not know…call me stupid..but i spent alot of sunday afternoon/evening…in strip clubs….

For instance, men are commanded to completely avoid dating or marrying these types of females:

1. A contentious woman: one who likes to quarrel with words, provoke disputes, argue and fight, (See Proverbs 21:19).
2. A nagging woman: one who constantly complains, finds faults or scolds a man with her tongue, (See Proverbs 13:19).
3. A strange woman: one who profanes God by either her words or deeds, (See Proverbs 22:14).
4. An adulterous woman: one who will without shame destroy her marriage or someone else’s marriage, (See Proverbs 30:20).

FEE

March 18th, 2009
10:55 am

Truth,, you cheating in my face.. mmmmm…

A godly man, to me, is one that knows, not to lean to his own understanding but in all his ways will acknowledge God and know that he will direct his (family) path. will seek his face for direction, trust in him enough to know that in times of distress, no need to feel pressed, but have enuf faith to know and believe, that even when things dont look right, that all things will work together for the good. A man that will not compromise his morals:

Pure in heart not divided… knows what he wants
Right and will not compromise himself or his family
Good and content with what he has been given
Have faith, and is faithful
Truth bearer and not a deceiver
Lover and not a lust fill man
Knows grace and is gracious
Humble and not proud (prideful) cuz nothing honestly is of his own doing.
Patient and does not do things in haste, I can go on..

PS not everbody that goes to church, serve God… The church is a hospital and the sick will attend. the Word is a healer and will heal those that want to be healed.