I know a lot of us would like to be in relationships right now but sometimes we tend to forget that they take a lot of work and effort.  When the tough times hit, like they inevitably will, we aren’t always prepared for it.  This is when you find out what your relationship is really made of, good or bad.

When a woman is unhappy, she probably has a change in her behavior towards her partner. Because men have innate differences from women they feel the need to want to fix it.  They actually care a lot about why their woman is unhappy and want to do what they can to improve it.  It’s almost as if they take it personally when their woman isn’t satisfied and fulfilled.

Ladies, have you ever dated a really moody guy? I am not referring to the random cranky mood but a guy who has a lot of bad moods, how did you handle it?

Guys, do you think that your woman’s unhappiness is a reflection of your relationship with her? Does it bother you when she is unhappy?

Do you think we are …

Continue reading I’m Not Happy »

I was having a friendly debate with my friend Mark about loyalty in dating relationships. I don’t think it exists.  As humans, we are self-preserving, self-serving people.  Loyalty extends about as far as it can until we decide that our own needs are more important than someone else’s.

He disagreed and said that loyalty is one of the things that people should be willing to prove in dating to lead to a relationship.  Mark and I  joked about how Bonnie & Clyde were known as the most loyal couple in history.

In some twisted way, the fact that she not only stuck by Clyde and covered for him, she  also joined in his crime sprees of robbery and murder. Are women expected to break the law to prove loyalty to their man, though!?

Do you think that loyalty is a realistic expectation in dating? Is it important to you when you are getting to know someone?

How do you know when someone is loyal to you? Is it something you can really prove or a feeling you give?

Do you think that …

Continue reading Bonnie & Clyde »

I know that some of us cringe at the thought of being stuck in the “friend zone” with people we are romantically interested in.  There is nothing worse then wanting more when the other person doesn’t seem interested in that.  Then I wonder why we actually don’t aim to be great friends before a romance even gets started?

I think some of the best relationships in history, the long-lasting ones, are couples who were extremely close friends.  The friendship that holds trust and loyalty can only improve a romantic relationship that comes later.

Guys, what is it about being friends with a woman that bothers you? Isn’t it possible that a strong friendship with a woman could enhance a romantic connection with her?

Ladies, do you find it difficult to begin a relationship with men who are your friends?

When you think about the people that you have dated, how do they rate on the friendship scale? Do you actually consider them people you would want to hang out with and enjoy without …

Continue reading What’s Wrong with Being Friends? »

Whenever I talk with men, whether they are in a relationship or single, they generally stick to the whole “men are simple” concept.  Women often over analyze what men really want and try to make it more complicated.  Ultimately, a man is happy when he is satisfied.

I think it is great that these three “little” things are all men think they need, but what else is there? Pardon my confusion, but if it is really that simple to keep a man happy, why do so many women find it hard to handle?

Is it possible that a lot more is needed and men don’t know how to communicate it to us because they don’t want to come across too needy? It’s ok to need a women and tell  her, isn’t?

Ladies, in your experience, does the trifecta of male happiness always work? Do you find that men need you  in other ways? How do they let you know? If they don’t come out and tell you what they need and want, what other ways do you realize it?

Guys, why does it seem to be like pulling teeth to get you to …

Continue reading Sex, Food & Silence »

Most women will agree that the relationship with her doctor is not unlike the one she has with her man.  She has to be able to trust the person and feel comfortable with them.  When you consider bedside manner, very few women will put up with a rude, inconsiderate physician that makes her feel horrible.

That is why I find it so strange that so many women put up with the same behavior from the men that they date.  A man’s bedroom behavior says a lot about his personality and character. The same as for women, men probably pay attention to how she handles herself.

I found a list of tips that are recommended for doctors, imagine that these are bedroom tips:

• Be a good listener, patients may need to be encouraged to express their concerns and anxieties.
• Be non-judgemental, avoid stereotyping patients on appearance or cultural or social background.
• Avoid making any unnecessary personal remarks or jokes, especially when the consultation involves matters of an intimate …

Continue reading Bedside Manner »

Do you ever hear of those urban relationship myths that talk about couples who get together while one of them was already in a relationship? They will be destined for failure because there has to be some retribution for the way they hooked up!  I don’t know if that is because of some cosmic force or if it’s simply because the wrong people are getting in relationships.

Do you believe in dating karma? I have to admit, if I am sitting through some horrendous date being tortured by bad attitudes or boring men, I wonder if it’s payback. Did I do something in my dating past that is coming back to haunt me now? Who knows if karma really exists or if it is just our way of trying to make sense of things.

Have you ever made a dating mistake or committed some romantic crime that would result in some bad karma?

Do you think we should ever try to make amends and apologize to the ones we did wrong? Not only to ensure that karma loses our address, but to let the other person know we …

Continue reading Horrors of Dating: Karma »

The other day I saw a music video of singer Joss Stone entitled The Chokin’ Kind. The song kind of haunted me a little because it reminded me of the pain of a past relationship.

I only meant to love you
Didn’t you know it babe
Why couldn’t you be content
With the love I gave
I gave you my heart
But you wanted my mind
Your love scares me to death
Oh it’s the chokin kind
That’s all it is.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and I didn’t want the month to end without discussing it here.  I believe much of the abusive behavior of a relationship arises in the early dating stages. Most people won’t punch their date or verbally attack someone they’ve only just met, but there are red flags. I think it starts with control issues and escalates from there. We often disregard things that we shouldn’t. What are other red flags?  How do you avoid dating an abusive person?

Would you date someone who had been abusive in a past relationship?

Have you ever dated someone whose …

Continue reading The Chokin’ Kind »

One of the things I dislike about being single and unattached is the lack of romance.  Guys can be very light on the romance in the beginning! Especially when they are trying to figure out if you aren’t a gold digger, floozie, or some awful puppy-kicking person.

When the romantic gestures finally arrive, in whatever shape, form, or fashion, I’m ready for it.  I don’t think romance is always like the romance novels or movie love kind of romance.  I have always found that the little things you do or say can offer the biggest romantic returns.

My most romantic moments would probably not even measure high on anyone’s Romantic Richter scale.  To me, however, I really felt something and was moved, and in some instances, shaken!

I always find it really interesting how differently men and women can view romance, though. So, let’s try a little experiment:

List at least five romantic things you want to do for the person you are dating now. If you aren’t seeing anyone, imagine what …

Continue reading Small Gesture, Big Return »

The very wise Lou Holtz once said, “If you’re bored with life — you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things — you don’t have enough goals.”  I happen to agree with him.

I remember my Dad would say that you can actually tell a lot about a man by where he spends most of his time and money. So if he has some over the top obsession or massive porn collection, you might want to pay attention to his habits, including their hobbies.

What kind of hobbies are you in to? How did you get started with it?  (No, dating should NOT be considered a hobby!) What do you think your habits and/or hobbies say about you?

Our friends over at The Frisky listed some hobbies that can make one appealing to the opposite sex.  I am not in favor of picking up a hobby solely to snag a mate, but I definitely love the idea of having/finding a passion for something. If  you happen to meet someone, then it’s time well spent and personal growth. Can’t beat that!

What hobbies would make …

Continue reading Get a hobby, Find a date »

President Obama may be dismantling the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy for the military, but on the dating battlefield scene, it’s pretty much status quo. Trying to decipher the true “single status” of a guy is like changing a flat tire in stilettos.  Uncomfortable and unnecessary.  I don’t recommend it and there are better ways to get the results you want.

A lot of times, single people operate on the “need to know” basis.  If we aren’t exclusive, you don’t need to know the details of who else is competing for quality face time.  I generally believe that most attractive and worthwhile dating candidates will have plenty of dating options. This means there will always be some sort of competition in the beginning.  It kind of sucks to think about it in that way but only when you dwell on it.

Why would you worry about the others? You have to realize that either the person you are seeing will think you stand out from the rest or they won’t.  No amount of sex, manipulation, game …

Continue reading Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell »