Moving in together?
A reader, “Vince” would like to get some advice from the Misadventures in Atlanta Blog community. He has asked his girlfriend to move in with him after a year of dating. He suggested that they live together out of concern for her safety, mainly. She lives in a seedy part of town and he is constantly worried about her.
He wants to know if moving in together has worked for other couples. Are there any pitfalls to shacking up?
Vince thinks that since they already spend so much time together, the dynamics of their relationship won’t change. Do you think that dating someone and living with them can alter the course of a relationship?
Have you ever moved in with your boyfriend or girlfriend? How did it work? Do you regret the decision or was it the best option in retrospect?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
Open to open relationships?
I once met a nice older couple who told me that the last 20 years of their marriage has been an open one. This basically means that they made the decision to let each other romantic interests outside the marriage.
I found it so fascinating that they both proclaimed that this was the best thing to happen to their marriage. They felt closer to one another and communication had improved tremendously. Personally, I could not relate to the idea but I respect them for making a decision they felt was right for their marriage.
I can hardly bear sharing a remote control, I can not imagine sharing my man. I just would not see the point of fidelity if we had all those options. Why not just be single? What is the appeal of open marriages?
Would you be opposed to having an open marriage? What do you think would be the pros and cons of this kind of relationship?
By Wise Diva
Relationships: Suspicious activity
There comes a point in every relationship when you have to decide trust your partner. Of course, this is after trust has been earned by both people. Your trust is what keeps you from snooping, questioning suspicious behavior, or inconsistencies. What happens when you start to have doubts though? Should you go looking or address it with your partner?
I have been in a situation where I wanted to trust my guy but the evidence was mounting that things were off. As much as I wanted to trust him, he left me no other choice. I HAD to address it or pretend things were all good when I knew things were definitely not.
Someone used to tell me that if someone really cared about you, they would hide their dirt from you. If they were blatantly disrespecting the relationship, you should take that as their cowardly way of ending things.
What do you when the person you are dating exhibits suspicious behavior? Once you decide to trust a person, do you trust them blindly?
By Wise Diva, …
Where do men like to date?
My friend Eric was asked out on a date recently, which kind of excited him a bit. The young lady kind of added to the excitement telling him that the details of the date was a surprise. Oh, he was surprised, alright.
The surprise date was at an art studio where they had to sketch and paint each other. I thought it was a cute date idea! Eric just could not understand how she thought he would enjoy something like that. I told him maybe he was being tested to see how open minded he could me. Men say they are open to new things, some mean open to new sexual things.
It can be tricky planning a date for a man. I don’t know how guys do it all the time for us picky – sometimes hard to please people. Where do men go on dates to have fun?
Guys, how open are you to date activities that are a little unorthodox? Would you mind trying a new experience? Do you like it when the women you date introduce you to new things?
By Wise Diva
Believe in love at first sight?
I consider myself a romantic and hardcore believer in true love. That being said, I don’t know if I buy into the idea that you can fall in love at first sight. Have I seen incredibly beautiful men and swooned? Absolutely. Did I want to pledge eternal love forever, ever (ever? ever?) – not so much.
I have heard people say that they knew the moment they laid eyes on their love. I just question what that really means? Can you actually fall in love with someone after one meeting? Is it the kind of love that lasts? What if you fall for the image or idea of that person? What happens when their actual personality is revealed?
Maybe I am cynical but is love at first sight really possible? Have you ever experienced it?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
Looks or personality?
For single people, attraction is important and it can be the driving force to how we interact with each other. Personality is what keeps us interested. When you consider them both, which do you believe is really more important?
I ask this question because I believe so many of us are drawn to what appeals to us physically first (obviously), but we would overlook a person’s awful personality. If personality is so important to us, why is it that so often we let their looks influence our interest?
Do you believe that a person’s personality can make them more physically attractive over time? I have heard some women say that the more they got to know a guy, the less attractive he became. This makes me wonder where do we really place the most value, in looks or personality.
Have you ever met someone and felt no attraction to initially? Did they become more attractive to you over time? What do you think that says about us? How does that impact our dating behavior?
By Wise Diva, …
Are they faking?
Have you ever heard the quote, “Women fake orgasms, men fake whole relationships” – not sure who it is attributed to. The fact that we can ever truly know who is faking one is pretty laughable. We have discussed how you can meet a person’s “representative” and not know their true personality until much much later. That is actually a bit frightening when people take it too far.
What happens when you realize that the person you are seeing is pretending the sex is great? Or worse, pretending they care about you just to get you in bed?
Can you ever really know if they are faking? Do you trust your instinct?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
Dating: Sexpectations
It’s truly a sad day when a woman is surprised that a man doesn’t make a move on her on the first date. Alas, many women think something is wrong when they meet men who aren’t expecting sex from them immediately. Of course, men won’t go around advertising their willingness to wait for sex. Why would they? That doesn’t mean something is off or suspect when a guy can wait too.
I actually had to convince a friend of mine to give her new guy some time before you threw a red flag on him. He wants to get to know you before you become physical. This is what a lot of men do!
When I asked my friend when she thought he would expect sex from her, she said the same day he met her. She was serious. Just because someone is attracted to you, doesn’t mean they want to hop in the bed with you. Maybe I am being naive.
When it comes to expectations, do you think we read each other wrong sometimes?
Ladies, do you actually think most men want to bed you on the first date? When do men …
Relationships: Don’t go changing!
Yes, I referenced a Billy Joel song. It’s a classic. It also highlights what a lot of men think about the women they pick. Whatever quirky, wonderful quality a man falls for in a woman, he doesn’t want to see it go away. A lot of men prefer that the woman they meet is the truest representation of her. If or when she flips the script, things get complicated. Men don’t like complicated.
I know a friend who has a real fear of marrying one person and then she changes into someone he “used to know.” I don’t think any woman can guarantee that she won’t grow or change, though. Do you think that change and growth can be viewed as a threat to a long- lasting relationship?
Have you ever dated someone who changed a lot over the course of your relationship? Did the change bring you closer together or was it a challenge?
How much change are you willing to handle in a relationship?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
Avoid alcohol on dates?
I told my friend Ray that if he wants to have a second date with someone, he needs to make sure the first date is “dry.” This is because when Ray drinks, Ray is a jerk. Not just annoying kind of jerk, but a really obnoxious and inappropriate kind of jerk. While I don’t think he has a drinking problem, I am concerned that his best self does not get to shine through when he drinks.
Some of us just tolerate our alcohol better than others. I generally don’t go beyond a glass of wine or one cocktail on dates. I feel that I like to stay clear headed and focused on seeing if there is chemistry there. I don’t want to have “liquid courage” to enjoy a date. What do you think?
Should you drink on the first couple of dates? Do you think you need alcohol to make you feel at ease?
What is your general rule for alcohol and dating? To mix or not to mix?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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