There has to be some kind of rule about social media that everyone has to follow to avoid dating drama. Something as small as a flirtatious comment left on a Facebook wall or a suggestive remark on an Instagram photo can actually become a problem.
A reader emailed me asking for our opinion about what she should do about her boyfriend. After seeing the pictures she has put on different social media sites, he told her that since she isn’t single, she should be careful about what she posts. She thinks it is harmless and said that although she is in a relationship, she isn’t MARRIED.
Do you think people who are in relationships should behave differently online and on social media sites than singles? Does the internet and social media sites become the “gateway drug” to hooking up or cheating?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta
I overheard a woman at the nail bar complaining about a recent date. What she described actually sounded pretty awesome to me, so I was kind of confused what her real gripe was about. She wasn’t complaining about the amount of money he spent/didn’t spend. She said that he took her to a part of town that she never explored before. There was live music, good food, and a late night stop for desert. I seriously wanted to ask her, “What more do you want?!”
I know single women like to say that they have “standards” and I get it, I really do. I just wonder if some take that idea too far. If there is someone who asks you out, shows up to the date with an actual plan for the evening, what else is really needed? This is the kind of thing that makes dating unnecessarily difficult. Unrealistic expectations from both sides and people start to feel disappointed.
What is a reasonable expectation for a nice date? While we are on the topic of realistic expectations, should sex be
When you are in a brand new relationship, you may convince yourself that knowing every single thing about your new love is important. I am here to tell you that this can be dangerous. Especially when you get in to the magic number conundrum: Do you reveal your body count when asked how many partners you have had? Well, for starters, I don’t think it is a good question to ask in the beginning. New romances need time to cook, as it were, and it is already a fragile thing. Why muck it up with all kind of dirty details of your past?
I have a friend Tim, who has a bad habit of wanting to know the exact magic number. He actually believes that this information is necessary and important, so he asks the women he dates almost immediately. When he gets the response that doesn’t “sit right with him” he starts acting like a jerk to the poor girl. I ask him all the time, “Why ask the question if you may not want or like the answer??” To add insult to injury, Tim is no saint and has
The other day, I read something that really caught my attention. I’m paraphrasing but it was something like “Until you become comfortable with being alone, you will never know if you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness.” Do you agree with this?
There is something that clicked when I read it because I know that being single has its challenges, but being with the wrong person is my personal version of hell.
Perhaps it is my inner commitment phobia that causes that anxiety.
I have gone for long periods of time without a serious relationship. When I meet someone great, I feel pretty confident that I am not picking that special person because I am lonely. I have done that before and it did NOT end well. Thankfully, I can recall that awful situation every time I feel tempted to call the toxic bachelor who is a bigger commitment phobe than I am or the now married ex-boyfriend who still carries a torch.
Do you ever wonder if you are dating simply out of loneliness?
I am off the rest of this week. I want to take this post to thank each of you readers for checking in each day. It has been such a pleasure reading your comments. I am thankful for you!
What are you most thankful for?
Is there someone from your past you are grateful to have met? Do you look back on any experience and feel thankful that you went through it?
Have a wonderful Holiday!
Bu Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta
I have been arguing debating with my friend Jeff about whether or not bars and clubs are good places to pick up women. Jeff is a little high strung (sorry bud, it’s true!) so of course he scoffs at the idea of meeting quality women at bars. I, on the other hand, have met the most raging, offensive jerks at networking events and ummm church. So I don’t believe that bars are all that bad if you want to meet someone nice.
The last time I was at a Happy Hour I met a really great guy. I was out celebrating a promotion, not even really looking to meet anyone at all. Then a guy that was next to me struck up a conversation and it was instant sparks – totally unexpected.
When we went on our first date, he actually said, “I did not expect to meet someone of your caliber at a bar!”. Just goes to show you that we have to drop some of our old ways of thinking. There are very few places you can’t meet someone nice. I mean, other then funerals and family
Everyone says that relationships work better when there is honesty. Oddly enough, honesty can have the opposite effect in dating. Can you remember the last time you were totally honest on a date? Do you know how someone would react if you said exactly what you were thinking?
I think everyone tries to filter themselves and put their best foot forward. This usually means we aren’t saying the total truth because the whole truth could get…well rather awkward! So when it comes to dating, how honest should we be and how long should it take for total honesty?
Do you think that people can handle honesty?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta
Believe it or not, some of us have never experienced a great date. We have been on lots of bad, boring, or blah dates, but great? Not many of us can say that. A really great date doesn’t have to be over the top or costly, either. I think that the ingredients of a great date is: location (conducive to conversation), chemistry (serious attraction sparks), and laughter!
What do you think makes up a great date? What are things that make a date miserable?
Do you think you have to plan great dates or do they just happen spontaneously?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta
Some women get tagged with the title Size Queen because they have certain preferences in how large a man’s “package” has to be. They believe that this is the only way to guarantee pleasure so they kind of discriminate those who don’t meet the size requirements. Is that really fair, though?
I have debated with friends about this before because I understand how important it is for men and their pride when it comes to a man’s “big ego.” Some men are insecure about their size and they try to compensate for it in other ways. Other men are oblivious or in denial about it. Whatever the case, when you are with a partner you care about, you find a way to empathetic and sensitive to them.
It’s rather silly to break up with a guy because of his size, but I know a lot of women who do it.
Do you think size really matters? Aren’t there ways to work around it?
How do you adjust and adapt so that this is not a real deal breaker?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in
I got a couple of text messages from my friend Felicia the other day. She was kind of freaking out because her new boyfriend did not “defend” her when they were out on a date recently. They were sitting in a movie theater when some jerk said something rude and a little threatening. Not only did her guy not say anything, he implied that she should watch herself with strangers.
Felicia is very traditional and she believes the man should take a leadership role as protector and provider. Needless to say, she is considering breaking up with this guy because she believes his character is lacking to let something like this happen.
I wonder if women today still think men are our protectors? Should a guy defend his woman’s honor in our so called modern society?
Ladies, is it important that you feel safe around the man you are dating? If he shows any kind of weakness, does it mean he is not a suitable mate?
Guys, do you hesitate to play the role of protector with women you date?