UGA versus LSU, as the mighty Munson might have called it
Could Georgia hook just one more big fish for the Munster? (AJC file)
Georgia plays top-ranked LSU on Saturday. Were the radio man Larry Munson, who died Nov. 20 at age 89, around to call the game, it might sound a bit like this:
Munson: “Get the picture: We’re wearing red jerseys and silver britches, going left to right on your radio dial. And we have NO CHANCE. They’ve got 12 guys who make Big Jonathan Jenkins look like Tom Thumb. And such SPEED. Even Vandy didn’t have speed like this …
“We kick off to them. Their guy runs right through 10 of our guys — look at that speed! — and gets all the way out to their 25. We have NO CHANCE. But Jarvis Jones breaks through and knocks the quarterback down! They have to punt! Whaddaya know about that? …
“Crowell in the ‘I’ and we give it to him and he goes five, TEN, FIFTEEN yards! He ran right through those monsters! Looked like that professor in ‘Jurassic Park’! And now Murray fakes it and throws it and … we catch it! Over their heads! MALCOLM MITCHELL! Touchdown! It’s a TOUCHDOWN! It’s a miracle! A miracle on … whaddaya call this street thingy outside the Dome? Northside? It’s a Miracle on NORTHSIDE DRIVE! Old Saint Nick just dropped through this roof and smacked LSU with a gunnysack full of coal, and Les Miles is standing there with a nose as red as Rudolph’s!
“I gotta calm down before I destroy some Dome property. Loran, whaddaya got?”
Loran Smith: “Larrah, the lovely Julie Moran sent me a note telling me she’d be watching from Hollywood and rooting for her Dogs … ”
Munson (interrupting): “We kick it off and their man has it. He runs through 15 of our guys and he’s gonna score and there goes our lead. He ran that kickoff back TWO HUNDRED YARDS.Have you seen SUCH SPEED? We have NO CHANCE.”
(We move to further action, as they used to do on Notre Dame replays.)
Munson: “Second quarter, tie game, and LSU’s acting like she wants to score. And we can’t stop anybody. We are so puny and so slow! How’d we ever get in this game, anyway? But now Jarvis Jones knocks down their quarterback again — four sacks for him, Hondo Williamson tells me — and they have to kick a field goal. And we’re down 10-7 and we’ve got NO CHANCE.”
(We skip ahead to the fourth quarter.)
Munson: Getting very, very late now, and we need a miracle. We need Lindsay and Herschel and Appleby all baked in one big APPLE PIE! They’re up three and they’re about to put us away and … JARVIS JONES knocks down the quarterback AGAIN! Six sacks for him! And they have to punt to us! Whaddaya think, Scott? Do we have a chance?
Scott Howard: “We might, Larry.”
Munson (snorting): “You young guys ALWAYS think there’s a chance. We don’t have enough TIME. But looky here! We give it to little Thomas and he knocks people backwards, and now Murray throws a screen to the tight end and … Orson Charles! ORSON CHARLES!!! RUN, ORSON!!! … And it’s a touchdown! IT’S A TOUCHDOWN!!! … We throw a two-inch bomb and he takes it TWO THOUSAND YARDS! We just took a 2X4 and smacked Mike The Tiger right in his striped backside!!!
“But there’s TOO MUCH TIME. We can’t stop them again. We’ve got no SIZE, no SPEED. We shopped at the dime store and they went to Rich’s. And our guys are SO TIRED …
“BUT it’s fourth down! FOURTH DOWN with 61 seconds left! I might be asking too much, but: Guys, just ONE MORE TIME! HUNKER DOWN! HUNKER DOWN!!! And they snap it and … MY GOD! JARVIS JONES! JARVIS JONES!!! He got him AGAIN! It’s OUR BALL! All four legs just fell off my chair! And we’re in the victory formation and we’re under 10 seconds and …
“Sugar is falling out of the sky! NO! It’s little Chick-fil-A cows! On parachutes! They’re COWS DIPPED IN SUGAR! LOOK AT THOSE SUGAR-DIPPED COWS FALLING OUT OF THE SKY!!! …
“We had NO CHANCE! But we had Old Lady Luck! And Old Lady Luck just slapped Les Miles in the face with that APPLE PIE! And that pie had a ANVIL in it! We broke their NOSE! We broke their HEART! I broke my CHAIR! I spilled my COKE!
“We’re going to the SUGAR BOWL! Beignets and crawfish etouffee for New Year’s! We’re gonna paint Tchoupitoulas Street red and black! Who’ll we play there, Scott?
“Houston, huh? Have you SEEN Houston’s quarterback? And all that SPEED? We’ll have NO CHANCE.”
By Mark Bradley
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514 comments Add your comment
57Cat
December 2nd, 2011
2:36 am
Like I tell the guy who makes those scrumptious pork bar-b-que sandwiches at the Georgia Pig in Brunswick, “You keep practicing making those sandwiches and you’ll get pretty good one day.” You keep practicing writing your column, Mark, and you’ll get pretty some day.
. Great job!
bodog
December 2nd, 2011
2:45 am
Mark, Thanks for giving me a little more memory of a great man. I really appreciate you for this. It brought tears of joy to these tired eyes one more time……Merry Christmas, Bodog
DeepDiver
December 2nd, 2011
4:13 am
Mark this was a risky choice…but so very well executed and you are getting the feedback you deserve for this. Great job.
clay
December 2nd, 2011
4:40 am
Wow MB. That was great. Second greatest article ever written twice in one week. Great job man. Loved it
dawggirl
December 2nd, 2011
5:16 am
loved it. thank you!
dawgdip
December 2nd, 2011
5:33 am
Very good article Mark. I could really hear his voice as I enjoyed every word. RIP Larry.
Nub
December 2nd, 2011
6:04 am
Mr. Bradley…. Recently you have written some of your best stuff … Many thanks for honoring the legacy of Larry Munson…. !!! Larry… While you are probably fishing for 1,000 lb golden
Bass in heaven … How bout asking Big Daddy for a lil help saturday so it will be raining sUGAr all up in here Saturday evening…. Nub
mike holdren
December 2nd, 2011
7:01 am
That was awesome, hit it on the head. Congrats -
DoggieDog
December 2nd, 2011
7:04 am
Very good, MB. The game is not likely to turn out that way, but anything can happen.
Air Force Dawg
December 2nd, 2011
7:09 am
One of your best articles ever Mark!
GovClintonTyree
December 2nd, 2011
7:09 am
This Gator thought this was excellent. You nailed this Dawg treasure. I remember driving around Atlanta doing errands the Saturday of the Hobnail Boot game, first absently listening to the radio, getting drawn in, then after “We stepped on their neck with a hobnail boot!!!” thinking he’s crazy, but possibly the most compelling sports announcer I’d ever heard. Great job, Mark.
bill
December 2nd, 2011
7:23 am
Wow! I’ve been reading your columns for as long as you’ve been writing them and I can say that this one is going to go down as one of your best ever…should be nominated for whatever award is appopriate.
Let’s hope that the Dogs make it even more memorable after tomorrow’s game.
Thanks!
TD Mike
December 2nd, 2011
7:34 am
Got goosebumps reading this… great work!
Sid
December 2nd, 2011
7:36 am
Like I said, Larry Munson will be calling this one from the Heavens.
Mark Bradley
December 2nd, 2011
7:37 am
Thanks again to one and all. I’m honored.
Ugat
December 2nd, 2011
7:47 am
Mike the Tiger
I’ll take some of that action! Please, please, please give me the Dawgs and 40 points! For say a small little wager of $1 million!!!
Top Recruit
December 2nd, 2011
7:47 am
A very nice remembrance of a wonderful man and great announcer for our beloved Dawgs all those years. Sad Larry Muson is not here for the game. Hopefully, he will inspire many to want to enter the broadcast field and journalism and excel. We will forever be indbted to Larry for the joy and excitement he brought to Georgia and SEC football.
Your tribute is very kind and thoughtful. Truly another reflection and reminder of the love, respect, and admiration we had for him and his craft.
Ugat
December 2nd, 2011
7:49 am
Mark, thanks for this! I too teared up a bit thinking of that ol Munson growl! I could just his his voice so well through your words. RIP Larry, we miss you and love ya man!!
Kenny L
December 2nd, 2011
8:04 am
One of the best homages to a great announcer that I have ever read. Thanks, Mark.
bob
December 2nd, 2011
8:09 am
Mark, I always enjoy your work, but this one may be your best! I am sitting here at the office with a HUNDRED THOUSAND things to do, and I have NO TIME (read in your Munson voice), but I always have time for this caliber of writing! You realize we have no shot tomorrow, but then again we had no shot when we went and played big, giant Texas in that Cotton bowl a hundred years ago in 1983.
saddawg
December 2nd, 2011
8:10 am
i want him back.
Bo Spalding
December 2nd, 2011
8:18 am
Thanks for this. Laughed out loud over cereal this morning.
SW
December 2nd, 2011
8:20 am
Awesome, Mark. Thank you.
Shug
December 2nd, 2011
8:20 am
Loved the Loran Smith bit.
CovingtonDawg
December 2nd, 2011
8:22 am
glad someone did this. I could hear larry’s voice as i read through.
Joshua Barlowe
December 2nd, 2011
8:26 am
I don’t know if Larry knew enough about marijuana or the NCAA suspension system to call this game. How many failed drug tests and suspensions are represented in this game?
bigdon
December 2nd, 2011
8:28 am
Liked the idea, but the content stinks. In alll the years I never once heard Larry use an old quote for a second time. It was all original and none of yours was. The veiled “four wheel drive riding up Mike
the tiger’s rear end” as a sorry take off on the hobnailed boot call. Come on, man.. Chick filet falling
out of the sky? Really? Run Orson, run. Really? And all that other crap you came up with is in my opion a sophmorice waste of my time. Truth be told, while I can appreciate your love for Larry’s
ability, and god knows I shed a few tears at his passing and simply cannot listen to dawgs games on the radio anymore, there’s no way of telling what he would have said or how he would have called it
but one thing for sure is it wouldn’t have sounded in the least like this waste of space. Why can’t you stretch your imagination and come up with some new lines. BORING garbage.
I Remember
December 2nd, 2011
8:29 am
“You can’t play for the BCS championship if you don’t win your conference”-Nick Saban
“We are going to invite Auburn instead”-Outback Bowl Selection Committee
“If georgia beats Tech on Saturday I will never post on the AJC blogs again”-Yellow Fuzz
Junebug
December 2nd, 2011
8:29 am
Best. Bradley. Ever.
bigdon
December 2nd, 2011
8:32 am
Somebody has got to be the gad guy, right? Larry, we’ll miss you, man. See you Saturday at Sanford stadium.
Ellijay Chief
December 2nd, 2011
8:36 am
Wow. No true dawg fan could have read that and not felt that feeling that Munson provided us for all those years. One of your best Mark. Go Dawgs.
Shewdawg
December 2nd, 2011
8:38 am
Well done, indeed. I got goose bumps. Thanks, Mark.
Bob
December 2nd, 2011
8:40 am
That is the best you have ever done. Thanks!
WDE
December 2nd, 2011
8:41 am
@Joshua Barlowe thanks for the comments troll now kindly slither off into the dark.
crossdawg
December 2nd, 2011
8:48 am
Fantastic! Hope it’s a prediction. Go Dawgs
jonb
December 2nd, 2011
8:49 am
Mark,
I missed the column yesterday – was working (hard for a government official to even say) and since I am now in Texas, only get the electronic version of the ajc. I read it this morning and both laughed and cried reading it. I was reading it aloud, and the lady in the cubicle next to me was asking what I was doing. I told her just remembering a great man. Thanks Mark, for the memories, and for the prediction. I will be watching the game with you and the Great One on my mind. And seriously, you ought to look into doing the biography of Larry. Thanks once afain for brightening my Friday!
DawgByte
December 2nd, 2011
8:51 am
I keep reading the following false line: “Georgia hasn’t played a ranked opponent all year.” I researched this… FACT: Georgia played 5 preseason Top 25 teams and beat 3 of them. You can look it up. Granted we lost to two of the highest ranked teams, however in the case of SC we dominated that game. You take away the three turnovers and we easily defeat the Gamecocks. That’s all water under the bridge. Georgia is a good football team, period.
Jeff and the Camaros
December 2nd, 2011
9:02 am
That was great! I could almost hear it my head!
dawgswin
December 2nd, 2011
9:09 am
Dang Mark! Laughed through the whole thing. Go Dawgs!
JimR
December 2nd, 2011
9:09 am
Does Scott Howard need a play by play sidekick? Great stuff Mark. I laughed all the way through picturing Munson saying all of that. Really enjoyed it. You really nailed it today.
Hoppy
December 2nd, 2011
9:15 am
Wow! I got goosebumps reading that! You nailed Munson’s voice Mark…Kuddo’s to YOU!
Bondo
December 2nd, 2011
9:15 am
Mark, my 14 year old son printed this last night and couldn’t wait to show it to me. Even he could recognize an instant classic when he saw one! Put this one in your hall of fame. I hope you don’t mind if we borrow a few of your lines as we watch on Saturday. I think I might bake an apple pie to eat after Orson takes that two-inch screen and goes for two thousand yards!
SCDawg
December 2nd, 2011
9:18 am
I can hear Larry’s voice now while reading this. That could be one of your best columns ever Mark. Outstanding work and you absolutely nailed Munson. Kudos to you sir and GO DAWGS!!!!!!!!
Dawg Whisperer
December 2nd, 2011
9:22 am
A classic!
Jakevol
December 2nd, 2011
9:24 am
I hate to say it, but I miss him. As Vol fan I understand his loss. Larry was great! I enjoyed reading the calls of the game as though he was calling them you wrote. I found myself listening to Larry and just got a kick from his calls on the radio. I can recall many time trying go adjust the radio and find a station, just to listen to him. I know the call in Knoxville will always be with us. It was a classic, even though it hurts. We miss our guy John Ward too. I wish you guys the best when you play LSU. Seems I’ve become pulling for the underdog for some years now. Anyway, I know Larry will be in the press box Saturday with you guys.
DeputyDawg
December 2nd, 2011
9:25 am
LMAO and COL! Seriously, I was laughing and crying at the same time. One of your best! Thanks!
UGA SR.
December 2nd, 2011
9:29 am
Got chills and not so shamefully teared up a little bit. Lets go dawgs, hunker down one more time!
Thanks Mark.
Pat
December 2nd, 2011
9:32 am
Well played, MB. Well played.
Dr. Phil
December 2nd, 2011
9:32 am
Pretty good, except for the part about Crowell dragging players into the end zone. UK knocked Crowell out in two plays. LSU may do it in one.
Les Miles
December 2nd, 2011
9:34 am
Made my day. Now Dawgs go make our weekend and beyond. Thanks Mark