UGA versus LSU, as the mighty Munson might have called it
Could Georgia hook just one more big fish for the Munster? (AJC file)
Georgia plays top-ranked LSU on Saturday. Were the radio man Larry Munson, who died Nov. 20 at age 89, around to call the game, it might sound a bit like this:
Munson: “Get the picture: We’re wearing red jerseys and silver britches, going left to right on your radio dial. And we have NO CHANCE. They’ve got 12 guys who make Big Jonathan Jenkins look like Tom Thumb. And such SPEED. Even Vandy didn’t have speed like this …
“We kick off to them. Their guy runs right through 10 of our guys — look at that speed! — and gets all the way out to their 25. We have NO CHANCE. But Jarvis Jones breaks through and knocks the quarterback down! They have to punt! Whaddaya know about that? …
“Crowell in the ‘I’ and we give it to him and he goes five, TEN, FIFTEEN yards! He ran right through those monsters! Looked like that professor in ‘Jurassic Park’! And now Murray fakes it and throws it and … we catch it! Over their heads! MALCOLM MITCHELL! Touchdown! It’s a TOUCHDOWN! It’s a miracle! A miracle on … whaddaya call this street thingy outside the Dome? Northside? It’s a Miracle on NORTHSIDE DRIVE! Old Saint Nick just dropped through this roof and smacked LSU with a gunnysack full of coal, and Les Miles is standing there with a nose as red as Rudolph’s!
“I gotta calm down before I destroy some Dome property. Loran, whaddaya got?”
Loran Smith: “Larrah, the lovely Julie Moran sent me a note telling me she’d be watching from Hollywood and rooting for her Dogs … ”
Munson (interrupting): “We kick it off and their man has it. He runs through 15 of our guys and he’s gonna score and there goes our lead. He ran that kickoff back TWO HUNDRED YARDS.Have you seen SUCH SPEED? We have NO CHANCE.”
(We move to further action, as they used to do on Notre Dame replays.)
Munson: “Second quarter, tie game, and LSU’s acting like she wants to score. And we can’t stop anybody. We are so puny and so slow! How’d we ever get in this game, anyway? But now Jarvis Jones knocks down their quarterback again — four sacks for him, Hondo Williamson tells me — and they have to kick a field goal. And we’re down 10-7 and we’ve got NO CHANCE.”
(We skip ahead to the fourth quarter.)
Munson: Getting very, very late now, and we need a miracle. We need Lindsay and Herschel and Appleby all baked in one big APPLE PIE! They’re up three and they’re about to put us away and … JARVIS JONES knocks down the quarterback AGAIN! Six sacks for him! And they have to punt to us! Whaddaya think, Scott? Do we have a chance?
Scott Howard: “We might, Larry.”
Munson (snorting): “You young guys ALWAYS think there’s a chance. We don’t have enough TIME. But looky here! We give it to little Thomas and he knocks people backwards, and now Murray throws a screen to the tight end and … Orson Charles! ORSON CHARLES!!! RUN, ORSON!!! … And it’s a touchdown! IT’S A TOUCHDOWN!!! … We throw a two-inch bomb and he takes it TWO THOUSAND YARDS! We just took a 2X4 and smacked Mike The Tiger right in his striped backside!!!
“But there’s TOO MUCH TIME. We can’t stop them again. We’ve got no SIZE, no SPEED. We shopped at the dime store and they went to Rich’s. And our guys are SO TIRED …
“BUT it’s fourth down! FOURTH DOWN with 61 seconds left! I might be asking too much, but: Guys, just ONE MORE TIME! HUNKER DOWN! HUNKER DOWN!!! And they snap it and … MY GOD! JARVIS JONES! JARVIS JONES!!! He got him AGAIN! It’s OUR BALL! All four legs just fell off my chair! And we’re in the victory formation and we’re under 10 seconds and …
“Sugar is falling out of the sky! NO! It’s little Chick-fil-A cows! On parachutes! They’re COWS DIPPED IN SUGAR! LOOK AT THOSE SUGAR-DIPPED COWS FALLING OUT OF THE SKY!!! …
“We had NO CHANCE! But we had Old Lady Luck! And Old Lady Luck just slapped Les Miles in the face with that APPLE PIE! And that pie had a ANVIL in it! We broke their NOSE! We broke their HEART! I broke my CHAIR! I spilled my COKE!
“We’re going to the SUGAR BOWL! Beignets and crawfish etouffee for New Year’s! We’re gonna paint Tchoupitoulas Street red and black! Who’ll we play there, Scott?
“Houston, huh? Have you SEEN Houston’s quarterback? And all that SPEED? We’ll have NO CHANCE.”
By Mark Bradley
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514 comments Add your comment
Hard Truth Black Soldier
December 1st, 2011
2:17 pm
Mark how about this one as time winds down, “The Streets Of New Orleans with be filled with Sugar and Bulldawgs, and it’ll be a Sweet reminder even as the Tigers go to the BCS Bowl, that this is there nemesis, and were back in there home again in January.
CATDOG
December 1st, 2011
2:18 pm
Just saying, after that first loss the AJC sports writers had jump ship on the dogs but now it seems like after tech faltered you have return looking for your seats back. Remember that picture with the caption, “now that’s a heart felt handshake if i have ever seen one?
We know you guys like tech, but tech sucks, So we will go and win this Sec championship for the real fans who never bolted on us!
Go dawgs!
kevin
December 1st, 2011
2:18 pm
Mark, my wife is a 26-year old lifelong Clemson fan and two-time Clemson grad. We’ve been married for four years and during that time she’s been getting an education in all things UGA. She only heard Munson call a few games before he retired, but since his death, she’s heard all of his greatest calls many times. She works with some UGA grads, so it’s not just me. I think if she read this without knowing you wrote it, she’d easily believe it was Munson’s words.
Bill Sanford
December 1st, 2011
2:19 pm
Well played sir.
KPH
December 1st, 2011
2:20 pm
That was great Mark! The hair was standing up on my arms while reading that! Thank you Lord for letting the Bulldawg Nation borrow Larry for all those years!
Macclenny_man
December 1st, 2011
2:21 pm
Very nice article. You just missed 1 of his lines. We got 4th down and a mile for a 1st down!!!
JB
December 1st, 2011
2:21 pm
Great stuff Mark…and a fine tribute to a man who really loved his job and the Bulldogs…..And your words would not be far off…….LSU 38 Dawgs 17…………..I hate it, but these guys are monsters and we can’t block. Sorry fellow Dawgs.
How is the view from Columbia?
December 1st, 2011
2:21 pm
Hey BuckBlue and Mike the Tiger – UGA has the talent to compete with anyone – they were a young team in the beginning and improved as the year went on. LSU has only played two offenses worth a darn this year – Oregon and WVU – both teams got a ton of yards and points on LSU, but lost because of turnovers. UGA’s offense is more diversified that any offense LSU has faced this year. Game will be tight if UGA doesn’t turn the ball over – LSU scores half their points on turnovers because the run the Red Grange offense. And by the way, how’s the view from Columbia? The reason why we are playing (and the pretenders from Carolina are not) is AUBURN – we gave Auburn their worst beating in 14 years, and the COCKS got beat to death at home (that Auburn team that can’t run the ball had over 200 yards rushing on your vaunted defense). And I don’t want to hear the Lattimore excuse – he played in the Auburn game and was shut down (36 yards rushing, 2 fumbles). Everyone knows UGA pushed USC all over the field but gave the game away by allowing 3 touchdowns due to turnovers and special teams – UGA has grown up since then. Can’t wait to see you in Columbia next year – no Alshon Jeffrey, no QB that can throw the ball worth a darn, and no far A$$ #6 to make plays. Enjoy the Outback Bowl!
Beeeeg Boy
December 1st, 2011
2:21 pm
MB, Not bad, not bad at all. Thanks for the smiles you brought!
Mark Bradley
December 1st, 2011
2:22 pm
I missed a lot of Munson lines, I know. But he did have a lot of lines.
Hard Truth Black Soldier
December 1st, 2011
2:22 pm
Beat ole Les and his Boys, and be ready for a rematch in next years SEC CG. This is a preview of the two best teams you’ll see next year.
AidDawg
December 1st, 2011
2:23 pm
Just WOW Thata was great……
B-Dawg
December 1st, 2011
2:23 pm
“Look at those sugar-dipped cows falling out of the sky!” I never comment on these articles, but that deserved a standing O.
vmguru
December 1st, 2011
2:24 pm
Mark this may be in your all-time top 3 articles. I can’t remember when I have laughed so much at an article. Great work! Like some of the others, I could hear Larry in my head saying all that!
Tilli
December 1st, 2011
2:24 pm
Nailed it Mark. My inner voice was channeling Munson.
RichtOWNStech
December 1st, 2011
2:24 pm
Nice work Mark! I’m going to print this out and hang it on some of the techie’s cubicles that work for me!
Cobb Dawg
December 1st, 2011
2:25 pm
A piece of art, MB. Genuine art. And I think Larry couldn’t have said it — any of it — any better.
Spanky
December 1st, 2011
2:25 pm
Yeah, Mark! That was cool! Thanks!!
JRabDawg
December 1st, 2011
2:25 pm
Priceless… Made me smile, big… Thank you!
vmguru
December 1st, 2011
2:26 pm
And I think Mark deserves a big :”Kudos” for the article!
hairy dawg
December 1st, 2011
2:27 pm
I did hear Munson’s voice..I did shed a tear..I did laugh out loud.. It did brig back a lot of memories..I was definitely moved…Thank you it was AWESOME
WinderDawg
December 1st, 2011
2:27 pm
Great job Mark…I got the picture!
PaulPaul
December 1st, 2011
2:28 pm
I smell Pulitzer for this one. This was really a fun article to read. You got Larry down perfectly. You can keep these coming. Every Bulldog should read this.
Congrats
Hard Truth Black Soldier
December 1st, 2011
2:28 pm
By God, these freshmen, these freshmen, There shaking up LSU’s secondary and they look like there lost out there. Totally lost in the dome.
DAWG ONE
December 1st, 2011
2:28 pm
Absolutely perfect, MB. Great job, and yes, I too could hear Larry’s voice with the read!
Mark Bradley
December 1st, 2011
2:28 pm
Thanks again, folks. I appreciate the kind words.
OconeeDawg
December 1st, 2011
2:29 pm
Great job MB. That is first class!
cursive
December 1st, 2011
2:30 pm
Ha ha! This made my day. Read the whole thing in his voice.
chris
December 1st, 2011
2:30 pm
best column ever Mark. Gave me chills. Here’s hoping you are a prophet and we win this one for Larry.
Summit Dawg
December 1st, 2011
2:31 pm
Now that’s as close to Munson as you can get….good one Mark!! GO DAWGS!!!!!!
williebkind
December 1st, 2011
2:31 pm
That was simply great! My hat off to you Mark.
Mountain Dawg
December 1st, 2011
2:31 pm
Absolutely perfect Mark! Your best article…. I could actually hear Munson’s voice. Great article, and GO DAWGS!!
old devil
December 1st, 2011
2:32 pm
Thank you, Mr. Bradley, for letting me see Larry in my mind’s eye just one more time. By the way, do you do Lewis Grizzard, too? Just hopin’…..
efuzz
December 1st, 2011
2:32 pm
In tribute to Mr. Munson, I share this review of my Thanksgiving visit with family…
Now get the picture. It’s been a long day already. It’s been raining all day, the state patrol has had the highway covered tight and the drive to Grandma’s house must’ve taken 5,000 hours you guys. We get there just in time to see Uncle Joe carving the last bit of turkey from the empty carcass. I don’t see how we even get a scrap of meat at this point. I look down and I see two slices of white meat and a leg left on the plate. The clock is not our friend and old lady luck looks like she’s finally left us for good. My wife goes in the door first making the rounds with hugs to all. I slip in behind her and make a quick move for the table. I make the table and grab a plate, now two plates! I’ve got a fork too! Goodgodalmighty, that turkey is right there! It’s right there! Uncle Joe is distracted by the mashed potatoes but he is headed back to the turkey. Is this even possible?
I extend my fork and reach for the turkey, I’m leaning past the cranberry sauce… over the rolls …now just beyond the gravy boat. Uncle Joe is closing in but he’s not gonna make it! Reach man, reach! …… TURKEY BREAST! TURKEY BREAST!TURKEY BREAST! My god! I just reached in there and snatched that turkey right out from under Uncle Joe’s nose! I just stole it from him. Think about all the people who drove from all over to get to Grandma’s. Man, there will be some naps taken today!
Chuck Dowdle
December 1st, 2011
2:33 pm
JUST REMEMBER WITHOUT HERSCHEL – GEORGIA IS OLE MISS. LSU HONE SPANK PUPPY DAWGS.
JB
December 1st, 2011
2:33 pm
We’ll need ole Larry to put down his rod and reel from that stream loaded with trout Saturday and give us a hand…..Talk to big big guy Larry and Tell him about Mark and all the wonderful things he does. We need a miracle.
RIP muns
December 1st, 2011
2:33 pm
Mark, I don’t always agree with your writing but that was GREAT. Larry would have loved that. No matter what you say for the next month you get a pass from me. Well let’s make it a week. Loved it.
Doc
December 1st, 2011
2:34 pm
Regardless of the outcome on Saturday, Mark, you have put one in the W column with this piece. You are a winner, my friend !!
Mark Bradley
December 1st, 2011
2:34 pm
I could never do Mr. Grizzard, old devil. Wouldn’t even try.
buccanbulleagle
December 1st, 2011
2:35 pm
absolutely hiLARRYus! your best column EVER and perfect munsonisms!! thanks, mark!
markie mark
December 1st, 2011
2:35 pm
beautiful…
RawDawg
December 1st, 2011
2:35 pm
Well done Mark, I could just hear Larry calling it!
Go Dawgs and “smack Mike The Tiger right in his striped backside” for Munson!!
JB
December 1st, 2011
2:36 pm
They will talk about this one at your wake one day……
SenoiaDawgs
December 1st, 2011
2:36 pm
Wow Mark Bradley!!!! You nailed it. As I was reading and laughing my tail off I could hear Larry’s voice in my head. RIP Larry!!!
MB just simply outstanding!!!
Hunker down 1 more time Saturday Dawgs!!!
Go Dawgs!
December 1st, 2011
2:37 pm
“We just saved our whatchamacallits by some grace of some whatever.”
JB
December 1st, 2011
2:37 pm
Mark, how about a book on the blogs over the last 2-3 years?
crose714
December 1st, 2011
2:37 pm
Wow… Thank you Mark Bradley, my Thursday afternoon just got better!
catlady
December 1st, 2011
2:37 pm
Grat work! Mooocved me to tears!
Mtn Dawg
December 1st, 2011
2:38 pm
Bradley, that was so good. Like those of us who listened to Munson, it was his voice in there. Great job!
Now I’m ready to go out and celebrate. GO DAWGS!!!
Fair and Balanced
December 1st, 2011
2:38 pm
Now that was clever and fun! Such a good job that could hear LM in my brain as I read! Very well done!