UGA versus LSU, as the mighty Munson might have called it
Could Georgia hook just one more big fish for the Munster? (AJC file)
Georgia plays top-ranked LSU on Saturday. Were the radio man Larry Munson, who died Nov. 20 at age 89, around to call the game, it might sound a bit like this:
Munson: “Get the picture: We’re wearing red jerseys and silver britches, going left to right on your radio dial. And we have NO CHANCE. They’ve got 12 guys who make Big Jonathan Jenkins look like Tom Thumb. And such SPEED. Even Vandy didn’t have speed like this …
“We kick off to them. Their guy runs right through 10 of our guys — look at that speed! — and gets all the way out to their 25. We have NO CHANCE. But Jarvis Jones breaks through and knocks the quarterback down! They have to punt! Whaddaya know about that? …
“Crowell in the ‘I’ and we give it to him and he goes five, TEN, FIFTEEN yards! He ran right through those monsters! Looked like that professor in ‘Jurassic Park’! And now Murray fakes it and throws it and … we catch it! Over their heads! MALCOLM MITCHELL! Touchdown! It’s a TOUCHDOWN! It’s a miracle! A miracle on … whaddaya call this street thingy outside the Dome? Northside? It’s a Miracle on NORTHSIDE DRIVE! Old Saint Nick just dropped through this roof and smacked LSU with a gunnysack full of coal, and Les Miles is standing there with a nose as red as Rudolph’s!
“I gotta calm down before I destroy some Dome property. Loran, whaddaya got?”
Loran Smith: “Larrah, the lovely Julie Moran sent me a note telling me she’d be watching from Hollywood and rooting for her Dogs … ”
Munson (interrupting): “We kick it off and their man has it. He runs through 15 of our guys and he’s gonna score and there goes our lead. He ran that kickoff back TWO HUNDRED YARDS.Have you seen SUCH SPEED? We have NO CHANCE.”
(We move to further action, as they used to do on Notre Dame replays.)
Munson: “Second quarter, tie game, and LSU’s acting like she wants to score. And we can’t stop anybody. We are so puny and so slow! How’d we ever get in this game, anyway? But now Jarvis Jones knocks down their quarterback again — four sacks for him, Hondo Williamson tells me — and they have to kick a field goal. And we’re down 10-7 and we’ve got NO CHANCE.”
(We skip ahead to the fourth quarter.)
Munson: Getting very, very late now, and we need a miracle. We need Lindsay and Herschel and Appleby all baked in one big APPLE PIE! They’re up three and they’re about to put us away and … JARVIS JONES knocks down the quarterback AGAIN! Six sacks for him! And they have to punt to us! Whaddaya think, Scott? Do we have a chance?
Scott Howard: “We might, Larry.”
Munson (snorting): “You young guys ALWAYS think there’s a chance. We don’t have enough TIME. But looky here! We give it to little Thomas and he knocks people backwards, and now Murray throws a screen to the tight end and … Orson Charles! ORSON CHARLES!!! RUN, ORSON!!! … And it’s a touchdown! IT’S A TOUCHDOWN!!! … We throw a two-inch bomb and he takes it TWO THOUSAND YARDS! We just took a 2X4 and smacked Mike The Tiger right in his striped backside!!!
“But there’s TOO MUCH TIME. We can’t stop them again. We’ve got no SIZE, no SPEED. We shopped at the dime store and they went to Rich’s. And our guys are SO TIRED …
“BUT it’s fourth down! FOURTH DOWN with 61 seconds left! I might be asking too much, but: Guys, just ONE MORE TIME! HUNKER DOWN! HUNKER DOWN!!! And they snap it and … MY GOD! JARVIS JONES! JARVIS JONES!!! He got him AGAIN! It’s OUR BALL! All four legs just fell off my chair! And we’re in the victory formation and we’re under 10 seconds and …
“Sugar is falling out of the sky! NO! It’s little Chick-fil-A cows! On parachutes! They’re COWS DIPPED IN SUGAR! LOOK AT THOSE SUGAR-DIPPED COWS FALLING OUT OF THE SKY!!! …
“We had NO CHANCE! But we had Old Lady Luck! And Old Lady Luck just slapped Les Miles in the face with that APPLE PIE! And that pie had a ANVIL in it! We broke their NOSE! We broke their HEART! I broke my CHAIR! I spilled my COKE!
“We’re going to the SUGAR BOWL! Beignets and crawfish etouffee for New Year’s! We’re gonna paint Tchoupitoulas Street red and black! Who’ll we play there, Scott?
“Houston, huh? Have you SEEN Houston’s quarterback? And all that SPEED? We’ll have NO CHANCE.”
By Mark Bradley
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514 comments Add your comment
P. Bull Terrior
December 3rd, 2011
12:56 am
For two days I passed this column by because I thought I had read enough Larry Munson tributes. I’m glad I finally took the time to read it. Nice job, Mark.
There is no running back at Georgia EVER who has brought us as much BAD PRESS as Isaiah Crowell has already in just his first 10 games.
December 3rd, 2011
2:14 am
It has gotten to the point now, that even his most ardent supporter Mark Richt, has resorted to gagging the tailback and refusing to comment about it at all with anyone for any reason.
This leaves it to Greg McGarity, Mark Richt’s boss and former tennis player here at UGA to tell everyone that Isaiah Crowell will play.
I don’t believe that there is anyone who is concerned whether he plays or not Greg McGarity. The question we all have is what DISTRACTION to the game, to the team, and to our fans, will be wrought upon us all in THIS GAME by Isaiah Crowell ?
Will he be shown POUTING on the sidelines while the nation is largely totally disinterested in this game, unless of course, LSU gets beat by 50 points by us. (Holding your breath?) Most likely the other way.
Will he jump up JAWING at LSU players and be hit with a 15-yard penalty after he has a running attempt for yards ?
He jaws at even our worst cupcake opponents, and they have been many such this season. 10 wins not 1 of which is a team ranked in any poll today and none of the 10-wins will be ranked when the season is over either.
He has all the drug issues.
He has been given preferential treatment by Mark Richt who has KICKED-OFF PLAYERS from this 2011 roster alone to make room for Isaiah Crowell.
He has been criticized in public by his own high school football coach, Carver Columbus Dell McGee, for his DISTRACTIONS.
Against this cruddy # 43 Strength of Schedule the entire 2011 season, according to the Official NCAA SoS, he realistically cannot even make 1000 yards now in this 14-game season for us.
There are Five (5) running backs at LSU who all 5 have run for MORE TOUCHDOWNS than Isaiah Crowell this season already.
He has been SUSPENDED multiple times.
I would have suspended for MORE.
He ran to the Athens Banner-Herald and complained to them about being tackled and how he never expected to be tackled in The SEC.
I believe if Mark Richt is relying upon Isaiah Crowell, that LSU most assuredly have all those wimp statements to the Athens Banner-Herald posted all over their defensive players’ lockers.
He is fragile.
He raises his hands and takes himself out of the games.
He sits alone on the sidelines like there is not a player who respects him.
He runs his mouth on and off the field.
You HAVE to wonder about his grades.
He finds 229 other players on this 2011 recruiting class ALONE who have MORE SPEED than his.
He doesn’t particularly take a hit very well.
This is whom Mark Richt is basing his entire offensive game plan this afternoon.
If Mark Richt is viewed as having NOT BEAT any team who is ranked today YET AGAIN THIS SEASON and in fact finds himself NOT VIEWED AS SUCCESSFUL here at UGA by the alumni and former Bulldog football players and coaches, and national media, it will boil down to this 1 player for Mark Richt upon whose entire career he rests his case being judged as beating the top teams or not beating the top teams on Isaiah Crowell.
Obviously, Aaron Murray is not going to beat any team who ends up ranked in the top 25 for Mark Richt. He never has and will be 0-8 at that this afternoon.
So, what have got going into The SEC Championship Game ?
Good defense, no special teams with walk-ons and no coach, and a sorry running game headed up by this pip-squeak coached by a Bozo and defended as he was recruited by Mark Richt asking all the team to line up in the recruiting process on Sanford Stadium without a tailback.
Mark Richt, NO WONDER he has run into all these issues.
7 running backs, and now we pin our hopes and your career being judged as able to beat teams who end up ranked in the top 10, on Isaiah Crowell.
I wouldn’t give you a PLUG NICKEL on that bet.
Jborodawg
December 3rd, 2011
9:25 am
Good one M. Bradley! I think Larry would like it too!
“We just stepped in their etouffee and rubbed it in their NOSES! A big black CALDRON of efouffee! We just broke the backs of about a MILLION crawfish!”
Jborodawg
December 3rd, 2011
9:33 am
“There is no running back at Georgia …December 3rd, 2:14 am…”
Way to go, Thomas Brown…er 11-3 et al. It’s an article about Munson.
Ben Myers
December 3rd, 2011
10:25 am
This brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for such a well written piece.
savannahdawg
December 3rd, 2011
10:47 am
Mark, great job! I hope the game goes exactly like that. Munson would be proud. Thanks for the great read! Perhaps your finest piece of writing. Lewis Grizzard would also be proud of you.
GO DAWGS!!!
Bob
December 3rd, 2011
10:56 am
With much trepidation I clinked on the link. I didn’t think it could be pulled off without being too sappy. But I thoroughly enjoyed this, Mark. Thank you for using your imagination to get in Larry’s head for us one more time.
dawg555
December 3rd, 2011
11:48 am
Most enjoyable article that I have ever read from you…haha. Thanks for letting me relive some great memories
Moneypuddlegum
December 3rd, 2011
11:56 am
“Sugar is falling out of the sky! NO! It’s little Chick-fil-A cows! On parachutes! They’re COWS DIPPED IN SUGAR! LOOK AT THOSE SUGAR-DIPPED COWS FALLING OUT OF THE SKY!!! …
What a line. Yes, Larry will be calling the game today for all the UGA fans who have gone before us. In the perfect world above in the heavens, we will win. I just hope the real world agrees.
wde
December 3rd, 2011
1:31 pm
No one gives us a chance we are too small, too slow, don’t have enough depth etc. Folks we won 10 we played and beat 6 teams that LSU played and beat and yes they scored more points in most of them…we need an edge, a sign, a talisman of some sort to give us a boost to overcome these tough odds cause folks LSU is for real. No smoke and mirrors no gimmick offense as stout a defense that doesn’t play on Sundays…what we need now that Larry, God rest his soul can’t worry us up a win…we need Will Mushchamp to guarantee a LSU victory.. this should be a heck of a game win or lose this UGA team has shown guts and the will to win I’m just damn proud of them and their coaches..and it is GREAT to be a Georgia Bulldog !!
Jborodawg
December 3rd, 2011
3:18 pm
Outer Banks Dawg @ 131AM….good one!
Charles Tollison McDonough
December 3rd, 2011
3:52 pm
Mark, this is my favorite column out of all I have ever read of yours. I could hear Larry growling out every word you typed. God bless him. (y)
The SEC Championship That Apparently Doesn’t Matter « Diva Dogology
December 3rd, 2011
3:55 pm
[...] all honesty, though, I am super worried about this one. Larry-Munson-level-worried, even. It’s hard not to buy into at least some of the aforementioned hype. My biggest worry [...]
stendek
December 3rd, 2011
8:36 pm
Time for Mark Wretch and cronies to go! That was an abysmal embarrassment. The Dawg defenders played their hearts out. The punt return team players should be left behind in Atlanta. They are all flat out awful! Whoever considers Aaron Murray an SEC quality QB is delusional. His giveaways against major foes in critical games have become legendary. What a pathetic effort after the pick which resulted in an LSU TD! Wretch is a loser. The Dawgs will be losers as long as Wretch and Mike Dodo are at the helm! Put the defensive guy in charge. At least he cares if the team wins or loses. Send everyone else packing! Dawg fans deserve far better than this season after season. The Dawgs will always defeat technical institutes under Wretch but choke against decent opponents. Is anyone as sick of this as I am? To heck with this bull!
