Sure to delight no one! Our annual look at Tech and UGA fans
Two years after the fact, Tech's hedge fun still rankles. (AJC photo by Brant Sanderlin)
I ask: What would Thanksgiving be without our annual Field Guide to Tech and Georgia fans? You answer: “A heck of a lot better, you jerk!” Being the stickler for tradition that I am, I choose to ignore you and offer, in the spirit of the holiday, something guaranteed to make both sides spit cranberry sauce across the room. Enjoy!
• Georgia fans refer to Bobby Dodd Stadium as the Joke by Coke; Tech fans refer to the gesture made in Jacksonville by defensive coordinator Todd Grantham as the Choke by the Dope.
• Tech fans aren’t looking forward to a bowl trip to Shreveport; having heard about Shreveport every day for the past year, Georgia fans look forward to the Independence Bowl being renamed the Karma Bowl.
• Georgia fans are still miffed that Tech players appropriated some of Sanford Stadium’s hallowed hedges after winning two years ago; Tech fans are miffed their team has beaten Georgia once in the time it takes a redwood tree to grow to the sky.
• Tech fans found it amusing that A.J. Green sold his jersey for $1,000; Georgia fans find it amusing that Tech can’t sell out its stadium.
• Georgia fans are mortified that the Bulldogs considered Auburn quarterback Cam Newton a prospect to play tight end; Tech fans wouldn’t mind seeing their team sign a tight end just for the heck of it.
• Tech fans are tired of being reminded how lousy the ACC is; Georgia fans never tire of reminding Tech fans how lousy the ACC is.
• Georgia fans giggled when Tech lost at Kansas; Tech fans giggled harder when Georgia lost at Colorado; neither side has giggled much since.
• Tech fans are starting to wonder about coach Paul Johnson’s offensive approach; Georgia fans have long found Johnson’s approach — “Punch somebody in the face” — offensive.
• Georgia fans doubt that any Tech player really takes calculus; Tech fans doubt that any Georgia player has a valid driver’s license.
• Tech fans refer to Derrick Morgan, who left early for the NFL, as the one who got away; Georgia fans refer to Da’Rick Rogers, who signed elsewhere, as the one who went to Knoxville and got arrested.
• Georgia fans hate it that Steve Spurrier’s South Carolina program has passed them by; Tech fans would love it if their team completed a forward pass.
• Tech fans don’t know what to make of Al Groh, the new defensive coordinator; Georgia fans have a pretty good idea what to make of Mike Bobo, the not-new offensive coordinator.
• Georgia fans never knew broadcaster Chuck Dowdle was such a rabid Bulldog backer; Tech fans knew it all along.
• Tech fans are starting to wonder if Johnson could only win big with Chan Gailey’s players; Georgia fans are starting to wonder if Mark Richt could only win big with Jim Donnan’s players; both sides are starting to wonder, period.
• The Georgia fan’s credo: “We run this state”; the Tech fan’s retort: “Your players can run but they can’t drive.”
• Tech fans get really upset when an opposing coach complains about chop blocks; Georgia fans got really upset because Auburn lineman Nick Fairley played unfairly.
• Georgia fans scoff at Tech’s low recruiting rankings; Tech fans scoff at Georgia’s high recruiting rankings.
• The Tech fan’s favorite unintentionally funny video: “Party in the UGA”; the Georgia fan’s favorite unintentionally funny video: Joshua Nesbitt’s Heisman campaign.
• Georgia fans think Richt is a great pitchman for Ford trucks; Tech fans think Damon Evans would be a great pitchman for Victoria’s Secret.
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508 comments Add your comment
Dawg Whisperer
November 25th, 2010
10:27 am
I heard the stupid ugly mutt croaked.
Dawg-gone!
Dan in Statesboro
November 25th, 2010
10:31 am
@buff: I don’t know what medication you’re taking, but it’s really warped your mind. Mark is one of the best sports writers around.
Mark Bradley
November 25th, 2010
10:39 am
Why, thanks, Dan.
GT
November 25th, 2010
10:40 am
To Georgia the world is it’s garbage dump, any pavement is good for outdoor plumbing, every bush needs to be watered.
To Tech taking some of the hedges was a rescue plan helping that plant survive an unnatural environment.
Smart like a fox
November 25th, 2010
10:46 am
I think I’m dumber having read this …..IF YOU THINK MARK BRADLEY SHOULD DO APPLIANCE REVIEWS INSTEAD OF SPORTS …….VOTE YES BY PUTTING ** AFTER YOUR POST **
todd grantham
November 25th, 2010
10:48 am
Smart, could you get any dumber?
todd grantham
November 25th, 2010
10:50 am
i do seem to recall Mark doing a piece years ago on refrigerator perry. does that count?
stendek
November 25th, 2010
11:26 am
Glory Glory
November 25th, 2010
11:42 am
What color are tech’s helmets: urine or vomit?
Kari Lehtonen
November 25th, 2010
11:43 am
Thanks for the Thanksgiving greetings, you oxygen-waste piece of shet!
Both Schools
November 25th, 2010
11:51 am
Both school’s fans eat their own boogers. Warrrrrrrrrrrreagle!
6th grade
November 25th, 2010
12:01 pm
Glory Glory is so funny !! he is our Hero !! can’t pass a math test but he always says something stupid that cracks us up. Glory Glory KING of the 6th grade.
Glory Glory
November 25th, 2010
12:13 pm
I’m glad that you were amused by that! One day, you’ll learn to be amused by the opposite sex, but not before you amuse yourself for those lonely years at tech. Good luck, young gun, and don’t be too hard on the little fellow!
Can Georgia Tech upset 5-6 UGA?
November 25th, 2010
12:46 pm
Is Georgia Tech undefeated un Athens under Coach Paul Johnson?
Can Georgia Tech upset 5-6 UGA?
November 25th, 2010
12:48 pm
…….. GO JACKETS ………
dawg day afternoon
November 25th, 2010
12:50 pm
If tech’s turkey neck coach can’t win for Thanksgiving, the nerds will be inconsolable! Not even those free hotdogs, free Cokes, and butt ugly cheerleaders will do any good!
ARDawg
November 25th, 2010
2:02 pm
Remember, there’s nothing dumber than a Georgia Bulldog fan. Nothing.
Dublin Dawg
November 25th, 2010
2:34 pm
Hey Techsters,
S
H
R
V
E
P
O
R
T
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
jt
November 25th, 2010
2:36 pm
Hey Dublin Dawg:
H
O
M
E
-
S
C
H
O
O
L
-
B
O
W
L
Smitty
November 25th, 2010
2:38 pm
Hey Dublin Dawg, you really can’t fix stupid can you?
You mispelled Shreveport!
Hahahahahahahahaha
Dublin Dawg
November 25th, 2010
2:39 pm
My appalogies to the Tech nation.
S
H
R
E
V
E
P
O
R
T
Chia Pet Hewitt
November 25th, 2010
2:57 pm
Enter your comments here
Chia Pet Hewitt
November 25th, 2010
2:57 pm
Enter your comments here
Chia Pet Hewitt
November 25th, 2010
2:57 pm
Enter your comments here
Chia Pet Hewitt
November 25th, 2010
2:57 pm
Enter your comments here
Col. Reb, where are ye?
November 25th, 2010
3:05 pm
As an impartial, objective observer I can say that neither GA Tech nor UGA fans have much to be upset about…you nail them pretty accurately, Tony. Living in Atlanta all my life I can say to the credit of GA Tech fans that they have a better sense of humor, and despite the stereotypically condescending “Tech man” archetype, a greater sense of humility, even greater than their losing record vs. UGA would warrant. UGA folks take their football way too seriously and are too easily offended. I would imagine you will get a disproportionate number of UGA responses, Mark, not because there are more of them, but because they actually BELIEVE the trash they talk. The GA Tech folks can be unrealistic in their expectations, too (that’s what fans do), but they seem far more likely to laugh it off and acknowledge that it is after, just a game. I compare this more balanced approach to college athletics to that of my alma mater, Ole Miss, which also loses too many games and also realizes that life is about a lot more than football. (We may look like an SEC school, but our football budget gives us away!)
Who Let The Dawgs Out?
November 25th, 2010
3:10 pm
Didn’t Col. Reb transform into a cute cuddly little teddy bear? Mind your own business, which seems to be getting violated by those other bulldogs. Good thing your lives are more than football, because Ole Miss SUCKS!!!
FullMetalJacket
November 25th, 2010
3:14 pm
Happy Thanksgiving to all. I do sincerely give thanks that our state actually has a spirited rivalry. And I am thankful that even though UGA VII choked on a turkey bone earlier today and expired, UGA can un-retire Russ and paint his a$$ again. I doubt that Russ is thankful, however. All seriousness aside, both schools should be proud thus far that we have good men as head coaches and that neither of our programs are under the scrutiny of the NCAA investigators.
Col. Reb, where are ye?
November 25th, 2010
3:26 pm
WHOLETTHEDAWGFARTOUT? It is true that the Ole Miss administration has waged a two-decade war of political correctness on the students and alumni that has resulted in outlawing battle flags and replacing Col Reb with the puzzling black bear. And while Who Let the Dawgfart Out? is a direct example of what I was just saying about UGA fans, I will refrain from reminding him that at least we still play DIXIE at Ole Miss (first we play it slow, and then we play it fast) and our fine-looking, born-to-preen, Miss America coeds all stand up when we do. Our lives are indeed so much more than football, and while Ole Miss FOOTBALL may be lacking, OLE MISS is wonderful. I understand you may be put out with your losing record, since you have no other outlet for your energy…say a job, or a girlfriend, or a life….but try to hold it together during the holidays, little doggy man.
FullMetalJacket
November 25th, 2010
3:31 pm
That’s telling ‘em, Col. Reb. While I don’t have much of an opinion about Ole Miss, WLTDO? is a classic example of a Doggy-Come-Lately UGA fan who is ignorant of SEC history and ignorant of the fine traditions at Ole Miss. Any campus that has a campus speed limit based on the number of their iconic quarterback (Archie Manning’s #18) is a bona fide treasure. And next to UVA, the Ole Miss campus is the most beautiful in the USA. Go Jackets, upset UGA!
Who Let The Dawgs Out?
November 25th, 2010
3:37 pm
Not one, but two gracious comments from fans of two completely irrelevant football programs. Thanks for that. Oh, and thanks to the tech virgin for coming to bat for the moron from Oxtard. You can always count on a nerd to come to the rescue of a lost cause. Maybe you can arrange a “meeting” between him and one of your Ole Miss hags so he can finally see a real, live woman. I tip my cap to you losers.
WilsonDunkit
November 25th, 2010
3:39 pm
Enough ’bout Ol Miss, tho’ its surprising they and MSU win at all with their budgets and state economy. I would like to give thanks for the rivalry between Tech and UGA, and also give thanks that Paul Hewitt is one year closer to leaving….whenever he does leave. Really getting to hate that man. The Jackets will give a good effort on Saturday in Athens, and I think they can win…though it would take a lot of luck. If we do lose, we’ll feel bad about it for awhile, we’ll put up with the ribbing at work, in church, and in the general public, and we’ll get on with your lives….because unlike so many UGA fans, we actually have lives.
Dawg'96
November 25th, 2010
3:47 pm
Who Let the Dawgs Out? EVEN THOUGH I DON’T AGREE NOR EVEN LIKE TECH OR MISSISSIPPI (YOU ARE SO WRONG ABOUT OLE MISS GIRLS, THEY ARE HOT), YOU ARE EMBARASSING US, MAN. DON’T SPEAK FOR THE UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA, AND DON’T USE YOUR MOMMA’S COMPUTER WITHOUT HER PERMISSION. COME TO THINK OF IT, I THINK YOU ARE EITHER PREPUBESCENT OR A FLAMING QUEEN IF YOU DON’T ADMIRE AND RESPECT THE WOMEN OF THE LITTLE SCHOOL IN OXFORD, OUR SEC NEIGHBORS. NOW, STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE AND GO UPSTAIRS, GET OUT OF THAT DARK BASEMENT ROOM NEXT TO THE GIMP’S.
Dawg'96
November 25th, 2010
3:49 pm
GO DAWGS! BEAT HELL OUT OF TECH! AND EVERYONE LOOK OUT FOR WLTDO?, HE’LL BE BLAMING THAT FOUL SMELL ON THE DOG.
Who Let the Dawgs
November 25th, 2010
3:50 pm
Enter your comments here
Who Let the Dawgfart Out?
November 25th, 2010
3:55 pm
Buttler once again will pull up the grass on the field after the win….and take it as a snack to his girlfriend.
Who Let The Dawgs Out?
November 25th, 2010
4:03 pm
Brothers, brothers, have mercy! I’m just trolling on here because my wife won’t pay attention to me because the game is on, and I have a tiny penis! Thanks for nothing, you turkeys!!
except for maybe........
November 25th, 2010
5:07 pm
ARDawg
Dublin Dawg
November 25th, 2010
5:53 pm
What Smart like a fox said ** AFTER YOUR POST **
Dublin Dawg
November 25th, 2010
5:54 pm
Hey, it worked!
sasquatch
November 25th, 2010
6:01 pm
mark – you definitely made somethin out of nothin.
and dogs go to music city after savin richs job Saturday.
Jillytech
November 25th, 2010
6:27 pm
The reason u(sic)ga has a larger fan base is because their school reaches for individuals based on a broader IQ range. The lower your IQ, the more likely you’ll be a u(sic)ga fan. This is obvious when looking at the fact that u(sic)ga is nearly twice as large as Tech, has existed longer (considering we once were part of that abomination of a school), and has more Alumni, yet still has half the endowment of Tech with none of the international respect. It’s hard to support a school that most people can’t get into, it’s easy to support a school that makes you feel like Einstein because they have turfgrass management as a major (true story) and a student body that considers “letter sequencing” as a challenging senior level class.
Born2Buzz
November 25th, 2010
6:28 pm
Sadly Mark, you’ve been reading too many of your blog comments and the general banal tone of 90% of then has influenced your column.
Born2Buzz
November 25th, 2010
6:33 pm
“them” not “then”
I’m sure both UGA and TECH fans are equally disappointed in their seasons and would much prefer that both teams came into this game like Bama and Auburn, with top 5 teams and being in the discussion for NC’s.
Phil in TN
November 25th, 2010
6:37 pm
Let’s see, how many UGA players have been arrested this year? Uh… 14, I think.
For Athens sightseeing, where will the Fulmer Cup be displayed?
Sensa Dare
November 25th, 2010
6:39 pm
Where do they keep the mutt between games?
aarh
November 25th, 2010
6:48 pm
Mark- Richt didn’t just win w/ Donnan’s players. Maybe he was more consistent then, but he one the SEC the yr. Shockley was QB, in Richt’s 5th season (2002. Meaning THEY WEREN’T RICHT’S PLAYERS! In 2007, they finished #2 in the nation. They didn’t win the SEC, but by the end of the of the season, they were playing as well of better than any team in the nation. I get tired of people saying he’s only won w/ Donnan’s players, bc IT’S NOT TRUE! Terry Bowden is a better esample of a coach who never won w/ his own players, but not Richt! Bowden wne undefeated in his 1st season at AU, but couldn’t win the SEC bc of being on probation. THen they got a little bit worse ea. yr., bc there wasn’t any where to go but down. By about the 4th yr. or so…that was the knock against him (recruiting). He also never won an SEC title ever.
aarh
November 25th, 2010
6:49 pm
I meant he WON the SEC title then
sorry abou that & any other typos.
FLA DAWG
November 25th, 2010
8:26 pm
When there’s no good football between the two teams to talk about I guess this is the tripe you have to write.
What a pity.
He Hate Gator
November 25th, 2010
8:30 pm
Tech fans miss the days of Bobby Ross, Dawg fans miss the early days of Mark Richt and only a single conference loss…