Sure to delight no one! Our annual look at Tech and UGA fans

Two years after the fact, Tech's hedge fun still rankles. (AJC photo by Brant Sanderlin)

I ask: What would Thanksgiving be without our annual Field Guide to Tech and Georgia fans? You answer: “A heck of a lot better, you jerk!” Being the stickler for tradition that I am, I choose to ignore you and offer, in the spirit of the holiday, something guaranteed to make both sides spit cranberry sauce across the room. Enjoy!

• Georgia fans refer to Bobby Dodd Stadium as the Joke by Coke; Tech fans refer to the gesture made in Jacksonville by defensive coordinator Todd Grantham as the Choke by the Dope.

• Tech fans aren’t looking forward to a bowl trip to Shreveport; having heard about Shreveport every day for the past year, Georgia fans look forward to the Independence Bowl being renamed the Karma Bowl.

• Georgia fans are still miffed that Tech players appropriated some of Sanford Stadium’s hallowed hedges after winning two years ago; Tech fans are miffed their team has beaten Georgia once in the time it takes a redwood tree to grow to the sky.

• Tech fans found it amusing that A.J. Green sold his jersey for $1,000; Georgia fans find it amusing that Tech can’t sell out its stadium.

• Georgia fans are mortified that the Bulldogs considered Auburn quarterback Cam Newton a prospect to play tight end; Tech fans wouldn’t mind seeing their team sign a tight end just for the heck of it.

• Tech fans are tired of being reminded how lousy the ACC is; Georgia fans never tire of reminding Tech fans how lousy the ACC is.

• Georgia fans giggled when Tech lost at Kansas; Tech fans giggled harder when Georgia lost at Colorado; neither side has giggled much since.

• Tech fans are starting to wonder about coach Paul Johnson’s offensive approach; Georgia fans have long found Johnson’s approach — “Punch somebody in the face” — offensive.

• Georgia fans doubt that any Tech player really takes calculus; Tech fans doubt that any Georgia player has a valid driver’s license.

• Tech fans refer to Derrick Morgan, who left early for the NFL, as the one who got away; Georgia fans refer to Da’Rick Rogers, who signed elsewhere, as the one who went to Knoxville and got arrested.

• Georgia fans hate it that Steve Spurrier’s South Carolina program has passed them by; Tech fans would love it if their team completed a forward pass.

• Tech fans don’t know what to make of Al Groh, the new defensive coordinator; Georgia fans have a pretty good idea what to make of Mike Bobo, the not-new offensive coordinator.

• Georgia fans never knew broadcaster Chuck Dowdle was such a rabid Bulldog backer; Tech fans knew it all along.

• Tech fans are starting to wonder if Johnson could only win big with Chan Gailey’s players; Georgia fans are starting to wonder if Mark Richt could only win big with Jim Donnan’s players; both sides are starting to wonder, period.

• The Georgia fan’s credo: “We run this state”; the Tech fan’s retort: “Your players can run but they can’t drive.”

• Tech fans get really upset when an opposing coach complains about chop blocks; Georgia fans got really upset because Auburn lineman Nick Fairley played unfairly.

• Georgia fans scoff at Tech’s low recruiting rankings; Tech fans scoff at Georgia’s high recruiting rankings.

• The Tech fan’s favorite unintentionally funny video: “Party in the UGA”; the Georgia fan’s favorite unintentionally funny video: Joshua Nesbitt’s Heisman campaign.

• Georgia fans think Richt is a great pitchman for Ford trucks; Tech fans think Damon Evans would be a great pitchman for Victoria’s Secret.