According to Life & Style Magazine — a publication with which I’m unfamiliar, perhaps because I have neither a life nor a style — Playgirl has offered Michael Vick $1 million to pose unclad. But if you’re thinking the overture might be a tad tawdry … no worries! The million dollars will go to PETA!
Understand: This wouldn’t be one of those “I’d-rather-go-naked-than-wear-fur” ads for which celebs have posed. (One of them being Falcons tight end Tony Gonzalez. Another being, interestingly enough, Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas, who has been suspended from the NBA for being overfamiliar with guns, none of which apparently were used to hunt animals.) The results of any Vick disrobing would run in Playgirl, which would then donate the money to PETA.
According to Life & Style, a Playgirl spokesperson said: “I sent the request to Michael Vick on Wednesday. But we haven’t heard back yet. I figured he paid back society for dogfighting, but what about the animals? This way he could donate a large sum to PETA and all he’d have to do is pose for the magazine! It’s kind of a win-win situation.”
That makes complete sense, doesn’t it? Because, when we get right down to it, does anything say “I’m sorry” like professionally photographed nudity?
I know. It’s crazy. It’s a bad enough idea — just as Vick is trying to reclaim his dignity, let’s have him strip down and forfeit it again — to be one of PETA’s. (You’ll recall that crusading organization wanted to replace Georgia’s live Uga with an “animatronic” dog.) But this wasn’t PETA’s, apparently. This was Playgirl’s. Which would presumably profit from Vick’s appearance in its pages. So there you have it.