5 ways UGA (and Mrs. Dooley) can sack the mighty Gators

1. In the attempt to show the world there’s no SEC bias toward Florida, Mike Slive deputizes a completely unbiased septet of refs: Vince Dooley, Barbara Dooley, Don Leebern, Sonny Seiler, Loran Smith, Chuck Dowdle and Bill King. (Replay official:  Some guy named Munson.) The Gators are called for 77 penalties. Georgia wins 2-0 when Barbara Dooley sacks Tim Tebow in the end zone.

2. Herschel Walker realizes he left one year of eligibility on the table, and Michael Adams, in his new capacity as president of the NCAA, hastily grants the appeal for reinstatement. And Herschel, at age 46, does what he has already done three times — beat the hated Gators essentially by himself. Then he rides off into the sunset to become an FBI agent.

3. With the Gators leading 16-10, Florida readies for the clinching field goal. Urban Meyer gets so carried away with his timeouts that he calls all three to ice his own kicker. Georgia blocks the resulting try and returns it for the winning touchdown.

4. The aforementioned Tebow performs the Gator Chomp so emphatically after a 2-yard gain that he separates both shoulders. His passing numbers plummet. He is intercepted 12 times, 10 of them being returned for touchdowns. Georgia wins 77-76.

5. Willie Martinez takes another furlough day.

166 comments Add your comment

TN Jeff

October 29th, 2009
8:47 am

That about covers it – best option is still #5

XXXVII

October 29th, 2009
8:49 am

1st!
I think the 4th option is most likely.

UGASlobberknocker

October 29th, 2009
8:49 am

Go ahead and kick the Dawgs while they are down. I still think we have a chance..but despite that I have #6:

5-Tell the Dawg players that the Florida endzone is actually the DMV..then for sure no players will enter there.

Michael Stipe

October 29th, 2009
8:51 am

I fart on all things gaytor.

Nativebird

October 29th, 2009
8:54 am

Actually, all 5 combined might, repeat might, result in a Dawg(doodoo) win.

Starring Henry Wilcoxon as Bishop Pickering

October 29th, 2009
8:55 am

Which of the six would be the referee?

Corrine Brown

October 29th, 2009
8:57 am

Who’s writing your material,Cynthia Tucker?

Tim Teblows

October 29th, 2009
8:59 am

All of these options are good (and funny), but I’d have to go with # 4. Teblows gets so pumped up after every 1 yard gain and draws a ton of attention to himself. Does he ever get flaged? Umm.. No. Maybe because the refs think he is the reincarnation of Jesus himself.

No matter what happens Saturday, Please Dogs, Don’t let him break Herschel’s record! Put 11 guys in the box and leave the receivers wide open, but don’t let him run one in!

ARdawg

October 29th, 2009
9:00 am

Bradley

Ferchristsakes man, how much do they pay you to write this tripe? It’s too damn much

GeoffDawg

October 29th, 2009
9:01 am

I think number five actually has merit. I wonder what we can do to get Martinez on the no fly list?

GeoffDawg

October 29th, 2009
9:04 am

#6 – Hold a jort going out of buisness sale at gametime. Gators forfeit.

O'Brien

October 29th, 2009
9:09 am

Good stuff Mark

SimpleDawg

October 29th, 2009
9:11 am

Mindless drivel…..

EW

October 29th, 2009
9:15 am

MB, One can only hope…

Mitch

October 29th, 2009
9:15 am

# 5 Sounds great to me.
Make Willie “soft zone” M. take that furlough out of Athens for about 5 years and at another school.

Mark Bradley is a Genius

October 29th, 2009
9:17 am

I want the last 30 seconds of my life back

EW

October 29th, 2009
9:19 am

#2 Can’t happen for two reasons:
1. It would void Herschel’s MMA Contract.
2. Because of the MMA status, Herschel may go the way of LeGarrette Blount and drop Tebow after the game.

On second thought…

HonestLawyer

October 29th, 2009
9:21 am

In 1980, Herschel had some significant help from Lindsay Scott!!! Lindsay Scott!!! Lindsay Scott!!!

Dawg Fud

October 29th, 2009
9:21 am

GeoffDawg, the jorts joke has been beaten to death but I still laughed at your post.

1eyedJack

October 29th, 2009
9:24 am

How about 5 ways the AJC can sack Mark Bradley?

steverino

October 29th, 2009
9:24 am

ummmm….Michael Stipe IS gay

Mike Litoris

October 29th, 2009
9:27 am

Let Murray start.

Brooks

October 29th, 2009
9:31 am

Bradley, What happened to you saying that Georgia was going to have a great chance of winning Saturday and had the Gators where they wanted them. Then you come on here and write a bunch of silly BS that is just making fun more than anything. How about writing something that is positive instead of ridiculous. If the Dawgs do win on Saturday there are going to be alot of “writers” changing their stories. Go find your buddy Schultz and laugh it up. I wish I got paid to produce garbage like this. Writing this was a waste of your life.
GO DAWGS!

Skipper

October 29th, 2009
9:34 am

Jorts 49, Mutts 10.

Fashion sense: Helping Georgia win football games until 1989.

Pi$$onaDawg

October 29th, 2009
9:37 am

Slobber that was too TRUE. I have never heard of a team having so many players that don’t have a Drivers License that like to drive around campus.

Call it Like It Is

October 29th, 2009
9:40 am

Hey Tim Teblows,

Suck it up as your boy Pollack used to do the samething without a penalty.

BTW, Tebow = Class and is the best college football player to ever play the game!

Gators roll big.

Enough Said!

Kim Z's Package

October 29th, 2009
9:41 am

Mr. Stipe when you fart you leave tracks. We all know you blew out that seal long ago in the Other Clubs.

Cuz

October 29th, 2009
9:43 am

I’ll take option number two. I have more confidence in Herschel at 46 than I do with our teenage or 20 year old running backs. Besides Herschel would get four more rushing touchdowns and tick off Urban Meyer because Tim would not get the SEC rushing touchdown record against the despised Dawgs.

Doug

October 29th, 2009
9:43 am

Very funny Jerk! hate is to kind of a word for you……you are sewage!

Mark Bradley

October 29th, 2009
9:44 am

Does anybody have any nude pictures of Tim Tebow they could mail me??

AceDawg

October 29th, 2009
9:45 am

Hey Slick Willy, If Bobo wants to be down on the field instead of the press box, maybe YOU should go up there to better see why your defensive schemes are so pathetic.

Anyway, Go Dawgs!

Mark Bradley

October 29th, 2009
9:46 am

Sometimes I just sit at my desk and think about Vince & Barbara naked.

Darth Urinator

October 29th, 2009
9:46 am

5 ADDITIONAL ways UGA (and Mrs. Dooley) can sack the mighty Gators

5. Give the Gator players STDs ( You know….. ON THE DOWN LOW.)

4. Spike the Florida Gatorade bucket with Ecstasy.

3. Frame Florida players for an illegal dogfighting ring and gambling operation white English Bulldogs get “The Vick Treatment”

2. Have Willie Martinez call a press conference publicly profess he stole Tim Tebow’s virginity (or vice versa).

1. Give Mark Richt a testosterone augmentation, as that lad SURELY needs it.

SamInAtlanta

October 29th, 2009
9:47 am

Nice change of pace Mark. I think option #1 is the only way they can win, and even then It will be close

Pi$$onaDawg

October 29th, 2009
9:48 am

Doug why all the hate? UGA is going to have a chance to play the game and win, but with Willie I doubt the Dawgs will win. I hope the Dawgs do win. I want a good dawg coming to Atlanta.

TROTTINGHOMETUDD

October 29th, 2009
9:48 am

I think about Vince and Barbraa naked too Mark!!!!

Mark is obviously over worked since Bisher and Moore left. Here’s a case where oppurtunity didn’t help a lawyer.

GeoffDawg

October 29th, 2009
9:49 am

Call it Like It Is – The difference is that when David Pollack was playing, refs weren’t tossing flags for “calling attention to oneself” like candy at a parade. Call it or don’t. Just be consistent.

Mark Bradley

October 29th, 2009
9:49 am

…… and sometimes I think about me, Urban & Tim in a “three way”.

Ryno

October 29th, 2009
9:52 am

Mr. Schultz – In all honesty, do you see UGA covering? 15.5 is a mighty big number. Perhaps I should clam up and wait for your chalkboard predictions tomorrow!

brewdawg

October 29th, 2009
9:52 am

Here is the thing: during the heyday of the run under Mark Richt (2002-2005), UGA had the superior team at least 3 of the 4 years (and would have been 4 of 4 had Shockley played in 05). We went 1-3. The losses in ‘02 and ‘03 derailed possible national title runs. We owe them a season-screwer during a year they are clearly better than us.

Ted Striker

October 29th, 2009
9:53 am

Now that was one funny column!

Ryno

October 29th, 2009
9:53 am

Whoops! Of course I meant Mr. Bradley

Pi$$onaDawg

October 29th, 2009
9:55 am

GeoffDawg: you are correct sir. GT lost to Notre Dame at home a few years back because of a Personal Foul hit on Quinn on the sidelines giving ND a 1st doen to allow them to score 2 plays later. Then GT played VT and a Va Tech player did the samething a few weeks later and no FLAG. All I want is for the calls to be consistent from game to game.

GW

October 29th, 2009
9:55 am

1 furlough day ain’t enough.

Kim Z's Package

October 29th, 2009
9:59 am

UGA is 4-3 I don’t think Willie has any FURLOUGH Days left because he has taken most of the season’s Saturdays off already.

F-105 Thunderchief

October 29th, 2009
10:00 am

In other words, it’s impossible.

Serge

October 29th, 2009
10:02 am

I’m guessing 9:49 is another Mark Bradley.

AthensSG

October 29th, 2009
10:02 am

Mark, I was reading the Cox interview on the front page and he spoke about the game plan for UF. I started thinking that the game plan is hardly ever the problem with UGA. Remember the OSU game – the Dawgs drove the length of the field with ease to start the game. OSU adjusted their defense and the Dawgs never got another drive going the rest of the game. To put it simply, we just can’t adjust to adjustments. That’s why I give UGA no chance of winning this game. But I’ll watch every down, hoping for some miracle – a diarrhea bug in UF’s Gatorade or something… Short of that, Mark, is there any hope?

Hmmmmmmm

October 29th, 2009
10:03 am

How about some team discipline and accountability. Never mind, it shouldn’t matter if a player is jailed and posts bond. I mean, this shouldn’t effect his playing time. What was I thinking?

dtanner

October 29th, 2009
10:14 am

mark,i guess sometimes you run out of things to write and you have to come up with garbage like this

Bryan G.

October 29th, 2009
10:17 am

SO YOU’RE SAYIN’ THERE’S A CHANCE!!!

Pi$$onaDawg

October 29th, 2009
10:19 am

GEOFFDAWG: Why do you get your driving previlages suspended? Too many Tickets, DUI, or No Insurance. To answer your statment form another UGA Bradley Blog. Yes, it is time to kick kids off the team for this small driving offence. Again I ask WHY does V. Vance not have his License? It is because me made a lot of mistakes to have it taken away in the first place. Vamce took responsibility in the first place and continued to drive risking many people’s lives. What part of that is not a reason to kick his … of the team until he can MAN-UP?

Dumb and Dumber

October 29th, 2009
10:23 am

So you’re telling me there’s a chance? YEAHHHHHHH!

Gator bait

October 29th, 2009
10:23 am

The title should have read, 55 ways UGA will lose to the Gators.

betweenthehedges

October 29th, 2009
10:23 am

#6. urban cryer rips his jorts running down the sideline during kickoff, pulls a hammy, get carried out by a stretcher while giving the thumbs up to the crowd. team takes major blow due to lack of UNCLASSY coaching. lose 17-16.

EW

October 29th, 2009
10:25 am

Pi$$ Vance had a learner’s permit, but not a full license. Yes he still broke the law by running a light but he did not get a DUI, no insurance, or too many tickets. You are an uninformed moron.

Willie's Elephant

October 29th, 2009
10:25 am

Maybe Mark Richt can give Willie Martinez the wrong flight information, and he’ll miss the plane!!!

GeoffDawg

October 29th, 2009
10:25 am

Pisser – I have no idea why Vince Vance only had a learner’s permit and not a regular license. My best guess would be that he didn’t grow up with a lot of money and never had an opportunity to have his own car until recently. He’s been over 18 for several years now so if this was a case of multiple DUI or some other serious issue, than that would be a matter of public record and would likely be well publicized by now. That being said, it’s still my opinion that a misdemeanor traffic violation is not inordinately risking lives and does not merit expulsion from the team. That smacks of a zero tolerance policy which I’ve always thought was an intellectually lazy way to address problems.

GatorATL

October 29th, 2009
10:29 am

Mark–now that’s a cold article on the Dawgs!!

Martinez taking a furlough…good one

Glad I am a Gator!

Georgia Headlines – 10/29/09 | MrSEC.com

October 29th, 2009
10:29 am

[...] UGA faces on Saturday.6.  Dawg linebackers will need to play big in Jacksonville.7.  Here are five (tongue-in-check) ways for Georgia to beat Florida… and one of them includes a furlough day for defensive coordinator Willie Martinez.  Brutal.8.  The [...]

Dog Island Gator

October 29th, 2009
10:29 am

There are some sick and funny pups out there. Oh well. GO GATORS GO!

Nick

October 29th, 2009
10:33 am

Remind me when this is journalism? Are you kidding me?

joydawg

October 29th, 2009
10:34 am

#6 – In the fourth quarter, CMR pulls out his secret weapon and substitutes the Gymdogs for his offense. He realizes he has to do something jumpstart his running game and infuse his team with athletes who know how to win.

Ghost of 1985

October 29th, 2009
10:35 am

whoever thinks Georgia cant beat Florida has no clue about football or this game. clue to UF fans: football didnt begin in 1990

Georgia wins

CT

October 29th, 2009
10:42 am

This can’t be Bradley writing this. Did Schultz steal his password and write this for him?

Lance

October 29th, 2009
10:44 am

I think somehow they ought to be different catagories for all these records. It should be noted somewhere that when teblows breaks Walker’s record that he had 4 years to do it, when of course herschel left after year 3. They ought to be something that says most rushing yards, and TD’s in three seasons, because most players that are good enough is going for the money now. Anyway expect teblows to get a massive shot from someone on the defense that will change the whole game.

UGA 28 UF 21

Sid

October 29th, 2009
10:50 am

Screw the TD record. It has taken “Timmy Boy” almost 4 years to do what Herschel did in 3. Just beat the Gators !!

rhynster

October 29th, 2009
10:51 am

Urban’s been saving Tebow for this game so he can break Herschel’s record against UGA.

It will be over by halftime.

And UF will post another half hundred.

56-10

Lance

October 29th, 2009
10:58 am

Florida’s first drive of the game, they will go to the 2 yard line. 1st and goal the dawgs are so worried about him breaking that record, they gun for him, he throws his little jump pass for the TD. I bet he and myer are getting a kick out of planning this all out. If the dawgs have any heart at all they will stand up and whip them gaytors.

Preacha74

October 29th, 2009
10:59 am

Breaking News…Bill Goldberg just hit Cryer with a pile driver and broke his neck. Tebow is forced to call his own plays on Saturday…70 run plays gators still win. 72-0 Soft Willie countered with Nickel coverage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now tha't funny

October 29th, 2009
11:01 am

Excellant article. Ghosts of 1985; We are playing the number one team in the country, with perhaps the greatest college football player of all time. We have the worst DC in the conference, perhaps the south, maybe the nation.? The Gators are going to score 40 points on us. We are not going to score 40 on them. Maybe 10? We’re bad, they’re good, this is going to be ugly!!

M

October 29th, 2009
11:03 am

Pretty weak Mark – don’t quit that day job!

Preacha74

October 29th, 2009
11:03 am

Breaking News…Bill Goldberg just hit Cryer with a pile driver and broke his neck. Tebow is forced to call his own plays on Saturday…70 run plays gators still win. 72-0 Soft Willie countered with Nickel coverage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Otto

October 29th, 2009
11:10 am

Can Bobo go on the furlough day with CWM?

takedowndawg

October 29th, 2009
11:13 am

Mark, you must have tied one on last night or ingested some Kentucky “bluegrass” when one considers this as fun humor. The Willie on furlough, possibly, but the rest are comparable to a strange TARGET commercial! Everyone strikes out sometimes!!! This one stunk.

Whopper Dawg

October 29th, 2009
11:15 am

Van Gorder shows up and coaches the defense secretly from the press box which is now devoid of UGA coaches with Bobo currently “stalking” the sidelines. Martinez keeps the same hand signals as before, which essentially makes suggestions for dinner alternatives after the game. Van Gorder calls are signaled in by Herschel on the sidelines, who also cannot stand it anymore. UGA defense scores three times and holds FLA offense to 14. However, two of the directional kickoffs are returned for scores and UGA goes down 28 to 21. Herschel leads Bobo out of the stadium as he is blinded and burned by the afternoon sun.

This is viewed as a moral victory and Martinez signs a four year extension. Bobo successfully lobbies Richt for his return to the press box due to sun’s effect on his eyes and skin. Herschel realizes he has had enough and decides to spend the rest of his life fishing with Munson.

You heard it here first.

Yellow=Pee

October 29th, 2009
11:19 am

Tebow has a mangina.

Dawg

October 29th, 2009
11:20 am

Quick question… why does every other SEC team get penalized for “celebration” for doing absolutely nothing, but Tim Tebow can do the Gator chomp after every play and a flag is never thrown? That’s fair.

RxDawg

October 29th, 2009
11:21 am

lmao Bryan G.’s 10:17 post.

I believe.

“,…,”

Georgia is next

October 29th, 2009
11:25 am

Ha Ha, I like that Mark. Really though the only way the Dawgs win is if their defense holds them to under 20 points because I will make you a guarentee, Florida’s D won’t make many mistakes and will not surrender more than 20 points. 7 Games = 4 Touchdowns Allowed, 58 Points Surrendered……….by the defense.

NCDawg

October 29th, 2009
11:26 am

If Cox can throw the ball in FRONT of the receiver, we might have a chance.

UGA ALL THE WAY

October 29th, 2009
11:29 am

Whoever keeps acting like they are Mark Bradley: SHUT THE H3LL UP!!!!

snapshot

October 29th, 2009
11:30 am

I don’t think the Gators are all that mighty. Very overated! I see a good opportunity for the mutts to win a football game. I hope not but Florida is prime pickings. If georgie can’t beat them FSU will.

UGA ALL THE WAY

October 29th, 2009
11:32 am

If Cox can have a good day, ONE of our running backs decides to play hard n good and as usual A.J. does his thing… you damn right we gotta chance… h3ll they struggled with Arkansas and WE DIDNT!!!!!

DirtyDawg

October 29th, 2009
11:32 am

Brooks…lay off these guys. The last thing we want is for any of them to pick us to upset the lizards – by the way, if you haven’t seen the pic of LSU fans roasting a trussed-up, skinned, gator ( the other other white meat) over a bed of coals, it’s perfect. Leave it to our Louisiana friends to ‘make a statement’. Of course they didn’t win the game, but some were picking ‘em to. We’ll just have to knock Saint Timothy’s d**k off and hope to catch (sub) Urban mouthing a few ‘Oh my Gods’ on TV…then see what happens.

teddy

October 29th, 2009
11:35 am

ga is a 16 point dog. they aren’t going to win. why even write such a stupid article. especially when the refs are in the tank for fla.

Mark Bradley

October 29th, 2009
11:36 am

I’ve seen FSU score 44 points — and lose at home. I don’t think this is the year the ‘Noles take down Timmy T.

GaGator

October 29th, 2009
11:36 am

Hey, Ghost of 1985, you’re right, the Fla/GA series didn’t start in 1990, but it sure did end there
for the mutts. 3 out of 19 is embarrassing!

Its just football

October 29th, 2009
11:38 am

6. Mrs. Dooley points out that Tebow talks with a slight feminine lisp. After hearing this Tebow cries and fails to show up for kick off.

7. UGA storms the field after the game winning touchdown by their star running back King no, Samuel-no, Thomas-no, Ealey-no, Jackson-no, Mrs. Dooley Yes!.

8. After above violation, refs fail to call a penalty that would stir up the conspiracy theory of protecting undefeated SEC teams.

9. UGA beats FL by shutting down Florida 3 to 0. CWM is praised by ESPN and all news outlets for an incredible defensive plan. After seeing this, Bandwagon UGA fans drink themselves to death in gator bowl parking lot.

10. AJ Green has 4 impossible TDs catches by halftime. The CBS halftime show praises him for his skill and natural humble personality. Tebow then storms up and down the sideline screaming “I’m more humble than AJ” “I’m more humble than AJ”

11. Spikes groin problem gets worse after his continued weight gaining. He does not go to the NFL but starts modeling clothes for full figured women.

12. The 2009 GA- FL game becomes a classic and for years is called the “Curran-Demps Battle of the little people”.

Watchdog

October 29th, 2009
11:41 am

Vince Vance is an embarrasment to the Dawg Nation this week. He gets arrested and is not suspended? Anything to win I guess Coach Richt? I wonder who went to bail him out for $1,000? Richt, Bobo, Alumni? It’s okay though nobody is stopping that defense, Vance, Cox, or Green.

Lonesome Dove

October 29th, 2009
11:48 am

It’s Just Football: That was hilarious!!

Jeff G.

October 29th, 2009
11:50 am

With space filling drivel like this, its no wonder the AJC is losing subscribers by leaps and bounds.

South Carolina Dawg

October 29th, 2009
11:52 am

Hire Kirby Smart

GT JJ

October 29th, 2009
11:54 am

6. Herschel shows up before the game and snaps Tebow’s elbows, then takes out the rest of the FLA starters. uga then wins ugly vs backups 14-10.

DawginLex

October 29th, 2009
11:56 am

how about some reality:

1.) Joe cox completes an entire game without throwing a pick.
2.) Percy and Louis are not going to be playing Saturday
3.) We sacked Jefferson 6 times, do the same with Tebow

If all of the above happens(2 is a given), UGA will win. If not, especially the 1st one on the list, florida will win and cover the spread.

juvenal

October 29th, 2009
11:57 am

as interesting as this game is, it’s only relevant if the daugs actually win…

Not Disappointed!

October 29th, 2009
11:58 am

How ’bout The Good Lord inform Teebow do to prison Ministries this weekend instead of a silly uga/fla game? That’s a game changer.

But………… “The backup QB has a better arm than ST Teebow.

Hang in there pups.

Ramblin Wreck!

EW

October 29th, 2009
12:02 pm

It’s just football..#11 made my day, thanks. The image of Tebow gator chompin’ up and down the sidline..priceless

Not Disappointed!

October 29th, 2009
12:04 pm

Dawginlex, I don’t expect Floriduh to cover. It should be an interesting game. Florida’s defense concerns me, but they can be beat.

Best of luck
Ramblin Wreck!

dostadawg

October 29th, 2009
12:06 pm

#6 Meyer drops to one knee at the 50 and proposes to Tebow. Tebow declines the offer and Meyer runs out of the stadium a broken hearted mess never to be seen or heard from again. the end.

Pi$$onaDawg

October 29th, 2009
12:08 pm

Geoff I didn’t know he only had a temporary License. Sorry. I can understand the difference. The article said Suspended and to me that means V V had a valid license that was taken for some reason. The article didn’t say an UNLICENSED driver. There is a HUGE difference. Many Illegals are UNLICINESED DRIVERS not SUSPENDED. You do not get arrested for driving without a license as best as I know. Why do you think Illegals don’t mind taking the risk? I will check again but I think I am right.

MagnaCarterGT

October 29th, 2009
12:09 pm

Bill King on the officiating crew… hilarious. Love this article.

Not Disappointed!

October 29th, 2009
12:09 pm

Mark that a new low…………

“I’ve seen FSU score 44 points — and lose at home. I don’t think this is the year the ‘Noles take down Timmy T.”

That’s low Mark, but funny! I was blogging with that nite. Too Funny!

Joe Cox's party to watch SEC Title Game

October 29th, 2009
12:13 pm

Joe Cox formally invites you to a party to watch the SEC Title Game
December 5, 2009
5 P.M.
2009 Multiple Flags Way- Athens, Ga 30605
BYOB

Pi$$onaDawg

October 29th, 2009
12:16 pm

#6 Hershel shows up to the game as his Auntie Walker personality wearing his/her Sunday’s Finest Hat, Bra, and Dress. All Hershel wants to do is wipe the snot from Tebow’s nose and Hug him.

Suck it Nerd

October 29th, 2009
12:17 pm

Kirby Smart probably wouldn’t come home to UGA.

gatorsam

October 29th, 2009
12:28 pm

Since 1990, Ga. with three fairy tale games, hated GATORS 16 wins. It’s great to be a hated Gator. Some teams bark, some teams bite, CHOMP!!CHOMP!!!!

styles

October 29th, 2009
12:33 pm

6. Somebody pay Tebow’s life partner to dump him and he will be an emotional wreck for the game.

how2fish

October 29th, 2009
12:39 pm

#6 the Dawgs rush the endzone and do a outstanding rendition of the “Triller” video after a 1st down…St. Urban’s and the entire UF teams heads explode…4 plays later UGA scores the winning touchdown! And Piss in this state any moving violation where a License is not valid..suspended, expired etc is an automatic arrest..at least that’s what the cops told me when my license was expired 1 day after my birthday and I was in a fender bender….

Bank Walker, Texas Ranger

October 29th, 2009
12:41 pm

I’ll go with a combination of #5 and the jort going out of business sale in order to win. On a different matter. Top of the sports is an add for Atlantic City. Only in New Jersey would they advertise with a below average looking woman in a little black dress. She is probably a 10 in the garden state.

athensdawg

October 29th, 2009
12:43 pm

Mark…I think you talked schultz into ghost writing this for you.

how2fish

October 29th, 2009
12:46 pm

Bank Walker your correct about the lady in the AD…it must have been closing time when they picked her..YIKES!

R.S.V.P

October 29th, 2009
12:49 pm

Joe, thancs fur tha inmitatin to ya perty. I be there at 5 wit sum rum andz steks. Thancs agin andz i wil sees yous on tha 5th.
Vince Vance

Saint Simons

October 29th, 2009
12:53 pm

The way that UGA can beat UF is for Richt to break out the tape of the 1996 thumping of the Gaytors by the Seminoles. They hit Weurfel all day long, early, late, between the whistles, whatever. Hammering him helped them win, just like it helped UGA beat UF in 2007. Can the D do it?

Tebow is already tenderized from the LSU game, we just have to find another hammer that can hit him.

RAMBLE ON!!!

October 29th, 2009
12:53 pm

#6, Odell smokes with Urban before the game.

uberVU - social comments

October 29th, 2009
1:06 pm

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mark Bradley: 5 ways UGA can beat Florida. One involves Barbara Dooley rushing the passer. http://bit.ly/1TzgST…

BigDawg76

October 29th, 2009
1:25 pm

MB=MORON, I wish Ole’ MB would get the same treatment one Terrance Moore received!!!

Old GatorDawg

October 29th, 2009
1:26 pm

Love the Gators and Love the Dawgs too. I always get schizophrenic in late October and mostly hope for a good game with no serious injuries. But this year it won’t even be entertaining. I think it will come down to Brandon Spikes returning with a joyous testosterone-enriched, well rested heart. The man’s ferocity reminds me of Ray Nitschke, but on a bigger frame.

Dave In Tampa

October 29th, 2009
1:32 pm

Mark, That was very funny. Thanks for the good laugh.

Go Dawgs

October 29th, 2009
1:54 pm

Just mailed a copy of this piece of trash to the Editor of the AJC- along with my cancellation. we pay for this kind of crap. Bradley- you are less than the scum of the earth

GeoffDawg

October 29th, 2009
2:12 pm

Pisser, I think how2fish explains the whole license thing pretty well. From what I’ve read, it didn’t have anything to do with a suspension or expiration of the license though. The issue was that it was just a learner’s permit meaning that he had to have an over 21, licensed driver in the car with him at all times. I guess when the police stop him for a moving violation and see that he’s not adhering to the provisions of his permit, it sounds like there isn’t much room for leniency on the the part of the police. Side note – not that Athens PD is known for being lenient with UGA students/athletes.

Regarding the illegals, I would guess that in the case of an arrest, they’re not going to be held for long on a traffic case anyway and since they’re not documented, they may not necessarily even show up for court later with little to fear in the way of consequence. Also, few law enforcement agencies hold them to turn over to the feds for deportation processing so they probably view it as an acceptable risk. In any case, that’s really a discussion for a different type of blog.

DirtyDawg

October 29th, 2009
2:29 pm

Pretty funny blog this morning! The truth is that if Florida simply walked off the field after the coin toss, the Dawgs might – I say might – win. But the UGA players would get so tired of running with those heavy ankle monitors on that they would just get tired and collapse.

Please tell me that Richt has been fired, along with Martinez and Bozo.

Pi$$onaDawg

October 29th, 2009
2:37 pm

Geoff OK like I said I didn’t know all the rules on the driving laws. I am too old and have my DL so some of the Laws i know have changed and do change every JUNE 1st I believe. Thanks for giving me more info. No hate here just questions.

chazzo

October 29th, 2009
2:38 pm

You’re not funny. I’d say stick to sports writing, but you don’t do that very well either.

Pi$$onaDawg

October 29th, 2009
2:48 pm

MARK B the UGA fans are really getting their YELLOW PANTIES in a TWIST now that UGA VII is ready to rollover and DIE at 4-3. With the GATORS(uga4-4), Ga TECH(uag4-5) and with Willie needing to beat UK and Auburn to make it to a BOWL I think uga fans are crying about any and everything they can. HAHAHHAHAHAH. Like the Great Lewis Grizzard said to his friend wanting to lick himself like UGA. “Hill Bite jew.” Mark the Dawgs are trying to BITE U.

Mark Richt

October 29th, 2009
3:03 pm

Joe, I will be at your party on the 5th, can’t wait. I am going to bring my notebook so I can write down how the elite programs in the SEC play, see you there.

Mark Richt

GeoffDawg

October 29th, 2009
3:04 pm

No worries. I always enjoy having a reasonable conversation on these blogs. You don’t find too many of those around here.

Roy Mullins

October 29th, 2009
3:53 pm

Lee Roy Mercer and myself will make a run onto the field and take out both Spikes and TeBow. On the way off the field, we will take Urban away to the river and let him swim across from the Jax Beach side. Huh,

Roy Mullins

October 29th, 2009
3:55 pm

P O Dog, I’ll come up there an put a big whopping on you

Roy Mullins

October 29th, 2009
3:56 pm

Ramble On here is # 7 Odell, and Urban buy the stuff from your man Joe H. You know the one who sells it on the practice field

timthebrave

October 29th, 2009
4:08 pm

6. They hit Tebow he gets such a bad concussion that he runs the wrong way for the winning TD for GA. Thus breaking and losing the record on the same play

timthebrave

October 29th, 2009
4:16 pm

I hate tim tebow. I hate him MORE that he is a good guy and helps the poor. I hate how the announcers drool over someone that won’t be a top 10 draft pick. I hate the Gators, Jackets and Tennessee in that order. I hate bandwagon fans. I hate people that write the same thing on every blog and think it’s funny. It’s as creative as a little kid repeating everything you say…Not clever comedy…Annoying children..GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAWGS!!! SIC EM! WOOF WOOF

timthebrave

October 29th, 2009
4:21 pm

In Athens everything is an offense that you can be arrested for. In most places things like jay walking, running a red light, drinking underage will get your parents called or a ticket. In Athens it’s an immediate arrest

The Hedge

October 29th, 2009
4:52 pm

Win or Lose – GO DAWGS!!!

willie martinez

October 29th, 2009
5:05 pm

Bradley, whats this crap about me taking a furlough day??

willie martinez

October 29th, 2009
5:06 pm

my defense will save the day and bring us through to victory. you can quote me on that.

willie martinez

October 29th, 2009
5:15 pm

i dont consider laying bets down out on the gamblin boat being on furlough

Johnny Test

October 29th, 2009
5:15 pm

#6- Urban Myer hires Chan Gailey as offensive coordinator
#7- Chan Gailey recruits Reggie Ball to fill in for Tebow
#8- Will Martinez resigns before the game and Erk Russell comes back to life to coach one more game
#9- Florida has five turnovers
#10 UGA runs back a kickoff, a pick and a punt for touchdowns plus 3 field goals for a 30 to 21 win.

Gapeach

October 29th, 2009
5:46 pm

I agree that number 4 is most likely! LOL HOWEVER- if he does the chomp after a good play- like he often does- that is a CELEBRATION penalty!

Thomas

October 29th, 2009
5:46 pm

Tebow gets hurt before the game. The Dawgs then have a better chance to win.

Snoop Dog

October 29th, 2009
5:48 pm

Its the schnizzle ma dizzle dawg fans

Me an the Willie double G are going to razzle ma dazzle

The mighty gaterds my doggie dawgs

So sit back an get ready for the mighty D coached by Willie Double G

to put a hurt n on Floridia come Saturday my DAWGY DAWGS

shane#1

October 29th, 2009
6:28 pm

1- UGA should make sure the whole team is on the bus. The dawgs have a bad habit of forgetting the offense, or the defense or special teams. Please CMR, make sure everybody shows up for the game! 2- Refuse to use Penn Wagers or any other U of *%$&ing Florida official and hire your own Zebras. UGA is the home team so they should get first pick of the convicts. Watch out for any officials landing in black choppers! 3- Work out a rent-a-cop swap with UF. The Gators can’t win with half their team in jail. 4- Convince the Gator PK that directional kicks are the way to go. I think some ex-KGB agents have drugs on the black market that should help. 5. Don’t forget the power of prayer, I don’t think Tebow has cornered the market on prayer, yet.

FLA DAWG

October 29th, 2009
7:37 pm

While this is a Perfect Storm for an upset (what better setup could there be when it’s UGA vs UF in Jax with UF #1 and UGA out of it), I’m afraid The Dawgs don’t have the coaching brains to pull it off.

I think The Halloween Orange Gators beat my Red Devil Dawgs by 24 points (ouch).

jdawg

October 29th, 2009
8:03 pm

Don’t quit your day job to do comedy.

willie martinez

October 29th, 2009
8:13 pm

HE wants the dogs to win.

Pitbull

October 29th, 2009
8:45 pm

I hope Brandon Spikes doesn’t hurt our players again this year. I know our players are scaried of him. Isn’t that enough!

Mike T.

October 29th, 2009
10:02 pm

The image of Tebow gator chompin’ up and down the sidline..priceless

Where is the yellow flag any other team qould get for such antics?

Mike T.

October 29th, 2009
10:05 pm

They hit Tebow he gets such a bad concussion that he runs the wrong way for the winning TD for GA.

It would be a safety.

Ed

October 29th, 2009
11:09 pm

The only way Georgia can beat Florida this year is to win the most overlooked statistic in football – points scored.

Ed

October 29th, 2009
11:12 pm

“Just mailed a copy of this piece of trash to the Editor of the AJC- along with my cancellation. we pay for this kind of crap. Bradley- you are less than the scum of the earth”

This reaction seems a little harsh, but it is true that sportswriters are often too clever by half. I think Bradley wrote this with the best of intentions. Sort of like my last post…

FLA DAWG

October 29th, 2009
11:14 pm

Wow!
Any Dawg Fan can see that support is down for The Dawgs from the few blogs on this site.
I hope this is a good sign in the long run in that we unload Martinez & Bobo, hire a fire-breathing D.C. and Richt calls the O Plays.

With that said, good luck Dawgs but I’m afraid that your coaches have you setup to get your butts kicked by the damn Gators by three TDs or more.

Ed

October 29th, 2009
11:14 pm

“The image of Tebow gator chompin’ up and down the sidline..priceless

Where is the yellow flag any other team qould get for such antics?”

Good point Mike, but don’t hold your breath. There seems to be a Tim Tebow exception to the rule against drawing attention to yourself during a celebration.

TechMD

October 30th, 2009
12:06 am

That was hilarious Mark. Too bad some of these dawg fans can’t stop pouting over having a bad season.

NCAA Rules Committee

October 30th, 2009
12:11 am

Enforce the damn “Dooley Rule” on Timmy Teboe like you do all the other players!

FSU Plastic Surgeon

October 30th, 2009
12:14 am

Urban needs a nose job, Brandon Spikes is hopeless.

georgia74

October 30th, 2009
12:17 am

We are frigging toast again. The worst beating of the year will be this week—- I hope as the Jackets will want to exceed Florida.

I will be there (leaving today) to go support my dawgs but this season is getting old.

One more ARREST for ANY REASON ever and I am DONE with Coach Richt.

How much more poor discipline —penalties, arrests, etc. can we take coach. Your leadership IS IN QUESTION!!!

WINNING IS NOT EVERYTHING TO ALL OF US COACH—–I AM SICK OF BEING CHASTISED FOR GRADUATING FROM UGA—-EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW——–WHERE DID I SERVE MY TIME???

I SERVED MY TIME IN THE US MILITARY——-NOT FOR BEING A 2ND CLASS CITIZEN THAT GRADUATED FROM UGA!!!

RICHT—YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!

GET OUT OF TOWN AFTER UF STUFFS US 52-0

whatever

October 30th, 2009
12:19 am

I cant even beleive you dumbazzes still have hope. GOD what a bunch od trash.

Educatedawg

October 30th, 2009
12:25 am

Wow Geaogia74 you are one pent up fellow.

Thanks for your service and unfortunately you are right on several points.

I have been a lifelong Dawg but yes I have turned against CMV because of the embarrassment he has brought to us.

Take a chill pill—-He will move on soon and we will return to greatness/ I remember 1980 like it was yesterday—those were the good ole days.

Nobody said Dooley did not have class but he did make me mad went he tied Auburn for the sec titale in I think 1964.

mash a bug

October 30th, 2009
12:33 am

#6 Bradley quits printing stupid articles

DOGMEAT

October 30th, 2009
12:34 am

You old goats crack me up. 1980——1964—–Give me a break!!!!

uga is truly NO LONGER RELEVANT in this state.

Florida 63–UGAY–0
Jackets 48–UGAY–0

I will bet anyone UGA loses those 2 games by a total of 100 points.

I LIVE IN BUCKHEAD AND EMPLOY 4 UGA GRADS THAT I UNDER PAY AND I TAKE A GREAT VACATION EVERY 3 MONTHS ON THE DIFFERENCE BECAUSE I CAN.

They are sick of UGA!!

Dawglover

October 30th, 2009
12:41 am

I ahte all the negativity on here. I come on here for positive message and support for our team. We may not have the best team or coaches but these players are doing the best they can. Go Dawgs beat Hators.

drbasic1

October 30th, 2009
1:02 am

74dawg, educateddawg, give me a break; you really think there should be punishment over a traffic violation and driving with a learners permit?….I guess if your driving to your job and get a ticket, your boss should fire you right???….Discipline, sure it is needed, but Coach Richt is NOT mommy and daddy for these young men, most away from home for the first time. EVERYONE makes mistakes. To want Richt gone, shows you know nothing about football. You spoiled by the expectations in your own head and winning for the past 9 years. We may lose tomorrow, or not, but how about some SUPPORT instead of hate….and you graduated from Georgia????…Where is your loyalty?….win or lose….Dawg for life!!

georgia74

October 30th, 2009
1:25 am

Fellow dawgs—and Dr—

My support and AZZe will be in Jacksonville tonight to support my Dawgs. But come on—-I was young once—-You know how many winning programs in D1 every year that does not have 20% of their dang players arrested over the last 3 years. Even the evils like Spurrier, Meyer, Saban and even the lunatic in Arkansas makes us look bad.

and yes this is laid at the feet of CMV.

If you want ot forget the arrests—-how about the STUPID penalties—-say what you want—-IT IS COACHING—-NOT YOUTH—–AGAIN check out the other top programs——it is the whole packages—–penalties, arrests, failure to do ANYTHING with the goofball Willie—–

PLEASE —-WE ARE ON AN OUT-OF-CONTROL DOWNWARD SPIRAL AND RICHT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR IT——YES I KNOW FOOTBALL——AND LIKE VINCE LOMBARDI USED TO START EACH YEAR WITH——–”GENTLEMEN—THIS IS A FOOTBALL”

Dawglover

October 30th, 2009
1:27 am

Enter your comments here

cantondawg

October 30th, 2009
12:46 pm

How about #6…Florida’s offense and defense suck as bad as Mark Bradley’s column

Vick=Dog killing thug

October 30th, 2009
2:51 pm

Mark, Don’t quit your day job as a mediocre sports hack working for a second rate paper. Comedy ain’t your thing brother…