5 ways UGA (and Mrs. Dooley) can sack the mighty Gators
1. In the attempt to show the world there’s no SEC bias toward Florida, Mike Slive deputizes a completely unbiased septet of refs: Vince Dooley, Barbara Dooley, Don Leebern, Sonny Seiler, Loran Smith, Chuck Dowdle and Bill King. (Replay official: Some guy named Munson.) The Gators are called for 77 penalties. Georgia wins 2-0 when Barbara Dooley sacks Tim Tebow in the end zone.
2. Herschel Walker realizes he left one year of eligibility on the table, and Michael Adams, in his new capacity as president of the NCAA, hastily grants the appeal for reinstatement. And Herschel, at age 46, does what he has already done three times — beat the hated Gators essentially by himself. Then he rides off into the sunset to become an FBI agent.
3. With the Gators leading 16-10, Florida readies for the clinching field goal. Urban Meyer gets so carried away with his timeouts that he calls all three to ice his own kicker. Georgia blocks the resulting try and returns it for the winning touchdown.
4. The aforementioned Tebow performs the Gator Chomp so emphatically after a 2-yard gain that he separates both shoulders. His passing numbers plummet. He is intercepted 12 times, 10 of them being returned for touchdowns. Georgia wins 77-76.
5. Willie Martinez takes another furlough day.
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166 comments Add your comment
Pi$$onaDawg
October 29th, 2009
12:08 pm
Geoff I didn’t know he only had a temporary License. Sorry. I can understand the difference. The article said Suspended and to me that means V V had a valid license that was taken for some reason. The article didn’t say an UNLICENSED driver. There is a HUGE difference. Many Illegals are UNLICINESED DRIVERS not SUSPENDED. You do not get arrested for driving without a license as best as I know. Why do you think Illegals don’t mind taking the risk? I will check again but I think I am right.
MagnaCarterGT
October 29th, 2009
12:09 pm
Bill King on the officiating crew… hilarious. Love this article.
Not Disappointed!
October 29th, 2009
12:09 pm
Mark that a new low…………
“I’ve seen FSU score 44 points — and lose at home. I don’t think this is the year the ‘Noles take down Timmy T.”
That’s low Mark, but funny! I was blogging with that nite. Too Funny!
Joe Cox's party to watch SEC Title Game
October 29th, 2009
12:13 pm
Joe Cox formally invites you to a party to watch the SEC Title Game
December 5, 2009
5 P.M.
2009 Multiple Flags Way- Athens, Ga 30605
BYOB
Pi$$onaDawg
October 29th, 2009
12:16 pm
#6 Hershel shows up to the game as his Auntie Walker personality wearing his/her Sunday’s Finest Hat, Bra, and Dress. All Hershel wants to do is wipe the snot from Tebow’s nose and Hug him.
Suck it Nerd
October 29th, 2009
12:17 pm
Kirby Smart probably wouldn’t come home to UGA.
gatorsam
October 29th, 2009
12:28 pm
Since 1990, Ga. with three fairy tale games, hated GATORS 16 wins. It’s great to be a hated Gator. Some teams bark, some teams bite, CHOMP!!CHOMP!!!!
styles
October 29th, 2009
12:33 pm
6. Somebody pay Tebow’s life partner to dump him and he will be an emotional wreck for the game.
how2fish
October 29th, 2009
12:39 pm
#6 the Dawgs rush the endzone and do a outstanding rendition of the “Triller” video after a 1st down…St. Urban’s and the entire UF teams heads explode…4 plays later UGA scores the winning touchdown! And Piss in this state any moving violation where a License is not valid..suspended, expired etc is an automatic arrest..at least that’s what the cops told me when my license was expired 1 day after my birthday and I was in a fender bender….
Bank Walker, Texas Ranger
October 29th, 2009
12:41 pm
I’ll go with a combination of #5 and the jort going out of business sale in order to win. On a different matter. Top of the sports is an add for Atlantic City. Only in New Jersey would they advertise with a below average looking woman in a little black dress. She is probably a 10 in the garden state.
athensdawg
October 29th, 2009
12:43 pm
Mark…I think you talked schultz into ghost writing this for you.
how2fish
October 29th, 2009
12:46 pm
Bank Walker your correct about the lady in the AD…it must have been closing time when they picked her..YIKES!
R.S.V.P
October 29th, 2009
12:49 pm
Joe, thancs fur tha inmitatin to ya perty. I be there at 5 wit sum rum andz steks. Thancs agin andz i wil sees yous on tha 5th.
Vince Vance
Saint Simons
October 29th, 2009
12:53 pm
The way that UGA can beat UF is for Richt to break out the tape of the 1996 thumping of the Gaytors by the Seminoles. They hit Weurfel all day long, early, late, between the whistles, whatever. Hammering him helped them win, just like it helped UGA beat UF in 2007. Can the D do it?
Tebow is already tenderized from the LSU game, we just have to find another hammer that can hit him.
RAMBLE ON!!!
October 29th, 2009
12:53 pm
#6, Odell smokes with Urban before the game.
uberVU - social comments
October 29th, 2009
1:06 pm
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mark Bradley: 5 ways UGA can beat Florida. One involves Barbara Dooley rushing the passer. http://bit.ly/1TzgST…
BigDawg76
October 29th, 2009
1:25 pm
MB=MORON, I wish Ole’ MB would get the same treatment one Terrance Moore received!!!
Old GatorDawg
October 29th, 2009
1:26 pm
Love the Gators and Love the Dawgs too. I always get schizophrenic in late October and mostly hope for a good game with no serious injuries. But this year it won’t even be entertaining. I think it will come down to Brandon Spikes returning with a joyous testosterone-enriched, well rested heart. The man’s ferocity reminds me of Ray Nitschke, but on a bigger frame.
Dave In Tampa
October 29th, 2009
1:32 pm
Mark, That was very funny. Thanks for the good laugh.
Go Dawgs
October 29th, 2009
1:54 pm
Just mailed a copy of this piece of trash to the Editor of the AJC- along with my cancellation. we pay for this kind of crap. Bradley- you are less than the scum of the earth
GeoffDawg
October 29th, 2009
2:12 pm
Pisser, I think how2fish explains the whole license thing pretty well. From what I’ve read, it didn’t have anything to do with a suspension or expiration of the license though. The issue was that it was just a learner’s permit meaning that he had to have an over 21, licensed driver in the car with him at all times. I guess when the police stop him for a moving violation and see that he’s not adhering to the provisions of his permit, it sounds like there isn’t much room for leniency on the the part of the police. Side note – not that Athens PD is known for being lenient with UGA students/athletes.
Regarding the illegals, I would guess that in the case of an arrest, they’re not going to be held for long on a traffic case anyway and since they’re not documented, they may not necessarily even show up for court later with little to fear in the way of consequence. Also, few law enforcement agencies hold them to turn over to the feds for deportation processing so they probably view it as an acceptable risk. In any case, that’s really a discussion for a different type of blog.
DirtyDawg
October 29th, 2009
2:29 pm
Pretty funny blog this morning! The truth is that if Florida simply walked off the field after the coin toss, the Dawgs might – I say might – win. But the UGA players would get so tired of running with those heavy ankle monitors on that they would just get tired and collapse.
Please tell me that Richt has been fired, along with Martinez and Bozo.
Pi$$onaDawg
October 29th, 2009
2:37 pm
Geoff OK like I said I didn’t know all the rules on the driving laws. I am too old and have my DL so some of the Laws i know have changed and do change every JUNE 1st I believe. Thanks for giving me more info. No hate here just questions.
chazzo
October 29th, 2009
2:38 pm
You’re not funny. I’d say stick to sports writing, but you don’t do that very well either.
Pi$$onaDawg
October 29th, 2009
2:48 pm
MARK B the UGA fans are really getting their YELLOW PANTIES in a TWIST now that UGA VII is ready to rollover and DIE at 4-3. With the GATORS(uga4-4), Ga TECH(uag4-5) and with Willie needing to beat UK and Auburn to make it to a BOWL I think uga fans are crying about any and everything they can. HAHAHHAHAHAH. Like the Great Lewis Grizzard said to his friend wanting to lick himself like UGA. “Hill Bite jew.” Mark the Dawgs are trying to BITE U.
Mark Richt
October 29th, 2009
3:03 pm
Joe, I will be at your party on the 5th, can’t wait. I am going to bring my notebook so I can write down how the elite programs in the SEC play, see you there.
Mark Richt
GeoffDawg
October 29th, 2009
3:04 pm
No worries. I always enjoy having a reasonable conversation on these blogs. You don’t find too many of those around here.
Roy Mullins
October 29th, 2009
3:53 pm
Lee Roy Mercer and myself will make a run onto the field and take out both Spikes and TeBow. On the way off the field, we will take Urban away to the river and let him swim across from the Jax Beach side. Huh,
Roy Mullins
October 29th, 2009
3:55 pm
P O Dog, I’ll come up there an put a big whopping on you
Roy Mullins
October 29th, 2009
3:56 pm
Ramble On here is # 7 Odell, and Urban buy the stuff from your man Joe H. You know the one who sells it on the practice field
timthebrave
October 29th, 2009
4:08 pm
6. They hit Tebow he gets such a bad concussion that he runs the wrong way for the winning TD for GA. Thus breaking and losing the record on the same play
timthebrave
October 29th, 2009
4:16 pm
I hate tim tebow. I hate him MORE that he is a good guy and helps the poor. I hate how the announcers drool over someone that won’t be a top 10 draft pick. I hate the Gators, Jackets and Tennessee in that order. I hate bandwagon fans. I hate people that write the same thing on every blog and think it’s funny. It’s as creative as a little kid repeating everything you say…Not clever comedy…Annoying children..GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAWGS!!! SIC EM! WOOF WOOF
timthebrave
October 29th, 2009
4:21 pm
In Athens everything is an offense that you can be arrested for. In most places things like jay walking, running a red light, drinking underage will get your parents called or a ticket. In Athens it’s an immediate arrest
The Hedge
October 29th, 2009
4:52 pm
Win or Lose – GO DAWGS!!!
willie martinez
October 29th, 2009
5:05 pm
Bradley, whats this crap about me taking a furlough day??
willie martinez
October 29th, 2009
5:06 pm
my defense will save the day and bring us through to victory. you can quote me on that.
willie martinez
October 29th, 2009
5:15 pm
i dont consider laying bets down out on the gamblin boat being on furlough
Johnny Test
October 29th, 2009
5:15 pm
#6- Urban Myer hires Chan Gailey as offensive coordinator
#7- Chan Gailey recruits Reggie Ball to fill in for Tebow
#8- Will Martinez resigns before the game and Erk Russell comes back to life to coach one more game
#9- Florida has five turnovers
#10 UGA runs back a kickoff, a pick and a punt for touchdowns plus 3 field goals for a 30 to 21 win.
Gapeach
October 29th, 2009
5:46 pm
I agree that number 4 is most likely! LOL HOWEVER- if he does the chomp after a good play- like he often does- that is a CELEBRATION penalty!
Thomas
October 29th, 2009
5:46 pm
Tebow gets hurt before the game. The Dawgs then have a better chance to win.
Snoop Dog
October 29th, 2009
5:48 pm
Its the schnizzle ma dizzle dawg fans
Me an the Willie double G are going to razzle ma dazzle
The mighty gaterds my doggie dawgs
So sit back an get ready for the mighty D coached by Willie Double G
to put a hurt n on Floridia come Saturday my DAWGY DAWGS
shane#1
October 29th, 2009
6:28 pm
1- UGA should make sure the whole team is on the bus. The dawgs have a bad habit of forgetting the offense, or the defense or special teams. Please CMR, make sure everybody shows up for the game! 2- Refuse to use Penn Wagers or any other U of *%$&ing Florida official and hire your own Zebras. UGA is the home team so they should get first pick of the convicts. Watch out for any officials landing in black choppers! 3- Work out a rent-a-cop swap with UF. The Gators can’t win with half their team in jail. 4- Convince the Gator PK that directional kicks are the way to go. I think some ex-KGB agents have drugs on the black market that should help. 5. Don’t forget the power of prayer, I don’t think Tebow has cornered the market on prayer, yet.
FLA DAWG
October 29th, 2009
7:37 pm
While this is a Perfect Storm for an upset (what better setup could there be when it’s UGA vs UF in Jax with UF #1 and UGA out of it), I’m afraid The Dawgs don’t have the coaching brains to pull it off.
I think The Halloween Orange Gators beat my Red Devil Dawgs by 24 points (ouch).
jdawg
October 29th, 2009
8:03 pm
Don’t quit your day job to do comedy.
willie martinez
October 29th, 2009
8:13 pm
HE wants the dogs to win.
Pitbull
October 29th, 2009
8:45 pm
I hope Brandon Spikes doesn’t hurt our players again this year. I know our players are scaried of him. Isn’t that enough!
Mike T.
October 29th, 2009
10:02 pm
The image of Tebow gator chompin’ up and down the sidline..priceless
Where is the yellow flag any other team qould get for such antics?
Mike T.
October 29th, 2009
10:05 pm
They hit Tebow he gets such a bad concussion that he runs the wrong way for the winning TD for GA.
It would be a safety.
Ed
October 29th, 2009
11:09 pm
The only way Georgia can beat Florida this year is to win the most overlooked statistic in football – points scored.
Ed
October 29th, 2009
11:12 pm
“Just mailed a copy of this piece of trash to the Editor of the AJC- along with my cancellation. we pay for this kind of crap. Bradley- you are less than the scum of the earth”
This reaction seems a little harsh, but it is true that sportswriters are often too clever by half. I think Bradley wrote this with the best of intentions. Sort of like my last post…