Normal service will be interrupted due to brainstorms

As some of you already know, I’ve been invited to participate in a three-day brainstorming session at the ol’ AJC, and today is Day 2. I managed to squeeze off two posts during Monday afternoon’s proceedings, but that was just me being my juvenile-delinquent self. I’m thinking I shouldn’t press my luck from here on.

For one thing, Monday was mostly a review. Today we get serious, cogitation-wise. And that brings us to the other thing: Wednesday and Thursday we’ll be at Cox’s palatial corporate HQ, as opposed to the AJC building downtown. When you visit corporate, you tread softly and follow the rules.

So I, barring that long-simmering Braves trade — Greg Norton for Albert Pujols — will endeavor to stop posting and commenting long enough to do two more days’ worth of brainstorming. The trouble with that is, as bad as I am at posting and commenting, I’m worse at brainstorming.

I still haven’t been able to fathom why the Jethro Bodine of sports writing was picked for anything involving intelligence. Like Jethro, I’m from Appalachia. Like Jethro, my career goal has been to become a double-naught spy. Like Jethro, I’m renowned for my good looks. (OK, I’m lying about that one.) Like Jethro, I grad-gee-ated sixth grade. Like Jethro, my next good idea will be my first.

But I’m not worried so much about me: Us double-naught spies can handle ourselves. I’m worried about you, dear readers. I’m worried you’ll have forgotten me by the time I return to the three-posts-a-day norm come Friday. And I’d just hate that. I mean, it’d get mighty lonesome out by the cement pond without you folks for company. So y’all come back now, hear?

66 comments Add your comment

Jack G.

July 29th, 2009
11:17 am

No comment necessary.

tale of woe

July 29th, 2009
11:22 am

So Jeff you heard the rumor also – Norton for Pujols should happen today from my sources on DOB’s blog….

Man named Jed.

July 29th, 2009
11:26 am

One of these days, I’ve got to have a l-o-n-g talk with you, boy.

Mrs. Chanandler Bong

July 29th, 2009
11:29 am

Idea for next column, or at least a short response… What is Soriano’s relationship with the media? Just read an article at mlb.com where Soriano said after last night’s game, “I’ve been doing this all year and nobody comes to me and says nothing.” I kinda felt like no one approaches him when he’s on, but they all wanted to talk to him last night after the blown save. Is he feeling underappreciated by the media?

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
11:30 am

I look forward to it, Uncle Jed.

We just took a break. Now we’re going to brainstorm some more. Then we’re going to the fancy eatin’ room.

Elly May

July 29th, 2009
11:31 am

Mark, have you seen my critter?

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
11:32 am

I think it’s a closer’s response, Mrs. CB. When you do your job, people don’t notice. When you don’t, everybody wants to know what went wrong.

mudcat47

July 29th, 2009
11:36 am

Mark, do what I use to do at meetings and brainstorming sessions. Just look serious, nod at the appropriate times, ask for the opinions of others(and nod again), never express your own opinion since it will show you’re not as smart as you look, and always vote with the majority. Everybody will be impressed and will be in awe of your leadership and knowledge. Works every time.

Mrs. Chanandler Bong

July 29th, 2009
11:45 am

Thanks, MB. I just didn’t know if we had a Esco-esque situation on our hands.

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
11:49 am

Thanks, Mudcat. And I’m definitely not as smart as I look.

juvenal

July 29th, 2009
11:52 am

in this neck of the woods, you are as respected as SI

Michael Scharff

July 29th, 2009
12:21 pm

Mark, as long as you come back safe and unharmed, it’s o.k. Should we have to call in Jack Bauer to try to rescue you in 24 hours, not so much.

DP

July 29th, 2009
12:21 pm

Hope they’re fixin’ up some good vittles for lunch. Maybe some roadkill stew. And you can eat at the fancy table with the felt on top and the long handled pot passers.

Evil Richt 2009 S.E.C. World Tour: "Banned in Columbus"

July 29th, 2009
12:35 pm

Idea: Just copy what the WSJ has done and start charging for some material online. Because the current AJC business plan for generating revenue is as follows:

Step 1: Give away all content for free.

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Profit!

curtis jones

July 29th, 2009
12:41 pm

Norton for Pujols? Straight up? Preposterous! I can’t believe you would even bring that up. It would NEVER happen. And you call yourself a journalist.

The Cards would have to throw in a middle reliever, some prospects and some cash. And some Big League Chew.

Buddy the Dog

July 29th, 2009
12:41 pm

An AJC brainstorming session? Now that is funny.

Three days? Yeah right. What did yo guys do after the first 5 minutes?

Here is a suggestion for the AJC and Cox: smart companies cater to their customers and not to their own egos. Cut the ugly remarks and headlines about the teams whose coverage you depend on for readership. You need those teams and their fans worse than we need you.

The recent AJC job cuts and downsizing should make that self evident.

The rules of the game have changed. Can you?

Jarvis

July 29th, 2009
1:00 pm

Cox HQ has the best in-house catering around. Enjoy the pastas.

Afraid you’re in a media format that is dying away. No way to reverse the death of the printed newspaper. People don’t want things in their hands anymore. Just like CDs and records before them, people want the content not the software.

I don’t want to buy a whole CD to listen to 3 songs, nor do I want to buy a paper to read 3 articles.

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
1:22 pm

I can’t tell you exactly what we’re brainstormin’ about — I’m told it’s classified, and it even says as much on the front of our agenda — but I believe I can report this: That Cox Cafe is one fancy eatin’ room!

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
1:24 pm

And Michael, it might take Agent Bauer to get me outta that fancy eatin’ room. Copy that, Chloe!

Ryno

July 29th, 2009
1:30 pm

Mr. Bradley – here’s hoping your brainstorming session concludes with a “Mike Smith” no-nonsense style of idea generation and not a “Jim Mora” (hey, why not try this) style of idea generation.

rlinaug

July 29th, 2009
1:31 pm

Do you, like Jethro, enjoy chinese food? I recall one episode, where he requested some “meandering duck.” Sure, Beverly Hillbillies was hokie, but it had moments of genuinely clever comedy.

I’ve said before, I’ve always liked your work, but I think you’ve really hit stride with the blogs. And the fact that you claim appalachia is testament to your character. an intellectual snob wouldn’t claim it but would claim to only have risen above it.

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
1:32 pm

I’ll pass that along, Ryno. And if Greg Knapp walks through that door, I’ll call security.

Bank Walker, Texas Ranger

July 29th, 2009
1:34 pm

MB here are some ideas 1. less coverage of the housewives of ATL. The show is an embarassment to everyone in the Atl. 2. Charge a fee for the good stuff 3. More photos of Salma, CharJo, Jessica Alba, Giselle, Eva Mendes,and for old times sake Elizabeth Shue and Ashley Judd. #3 will increase circulation by 50%

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
1:34 pm

Thanks much, RLinAug. But I’m about as Appalachian as it gets. Both my mom and dad were from Paintsville, Ky., which is the seat of Johnson County, which was — I’m getting around to making a point, I swear — the home of Miss Loretta Lynn.

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
1:37 pm

Ashley Judd I’ve actually met. She’s very nice. (We’re both UK alums and we know the secret handshake.) We met, you’ll find it difficult to believe, at an SEC basketball tournament.

Bank Walker, Texas Ranger

July 29th, 2009
1:52 pm

I bet she is something else in person. She has to be the most naturally beatiful woman ever. Then lets get more photos of her in the paper.

traderdawg

July 29th, 2009
2:09 pm

Bank very clever on the circulation, but I’m not sure that’s kind of circulation they’re going for.

Hillbilly Deluxe

July 29th, 2009
2:19 pm

Although it never specifically stated where the family was from, The Beverly Hillbillys made references during the show to Joplin, Branson, Silver Dollar City,and Eureka Springs. Those towns are all in the Ozarks not the Appalachians.

I always thought...

July 29th, 2009
2:32 pm

…the “story ’bout a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed” meant he was from West VA, not eastern KY – though the 2 places are similar.

And if you are really brainstorming “classified” stuff, why do they need to do that to sell stuff? And, you HAVE reached “double naught” status with each add you sell!

I always thought...

July 29th, 2009
2:36 pm

…Granny was the funny one – especially the time Uncle Jed made her a “Vice President” – when she found out what “vice” (by itself) meant she changed the sign on her door to read “Nice President”.

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
2:42 pm

Believe it or not, we had a discussion here during a break
about the Clampett clan’s roots. And the Ozaks did come up.

Bank Walker, Texas Ranger

July 29th, 2009
2:43 pm

traderdawg, you are right, I’m targeting the “International Sophisticated type Playboy” market for the people who are Suave & Debonner.

Bank Walker, Texas Ranger

July 29th, 2009
2:50 pm

Granny always talked about being from Tenn. and her little cabin was moved from Tenn to Cal

SimpleDawg

July 29th, 2009
3:02 pm

It’s better to be quiet and be thought of as a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

reebok

July 29th, 2009
3:03 pm

after the vittles, maybe y’all can go set around the cement pond fer a while…

since they called Jed a Mountaineer, I assumed the clan was from West Virginia…

midnite

July 29th, 2009
3:11 pm

Weren’t the Clampetts from Bug Tussle? Or was that just Pearl Bodine, mother to Jethro and the lovely and talented Jethreen.

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
3:17 pm

I always assumed Appalachia, what with the hills and all — “poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed.”

Marcus

July 29th, 2009
3:23 pm

Channel 17 send help!!! ..man, you took me back MB.
Never had red-eye gravy in any meal, but every time they talked about it with grits, I get hungry.

Now, since you are the only AJC Sports blogger not to give us a gratuitous (sp?) photo of K. Kardashian and/or Reggie Bush, lets conjure up a Beverley Hillbillies 2009 remake with her as Elle Mae. If Jessica Simpson can be Daisy Duke, anything is possible. LOL

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
3:24 pm

OK, according to Wikipedia, it was never specified where the Clampetts hailed from. But Tennessee, Missouri and Arkansas were mentioned. Though I can’t say I consider Missouri as mountainous. But maybe that’s just me.

OK, enough genealogy. Back to brainstormin’ after a break.

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
3:26 pm

OK, here’s one last thought: Max Baer Jr., who played Jethro Bodine, once directed a former MB girlfriend in a feature film. (And no, it wasn’t one of those Cinemax opuses.)

Chris

July 29th, 2009
3:30 pm

Hey thar from Johnson City, TN, feller’ Appalachian!

NRBQ

July 29th, 2009
3:41 pm

They lived in a cabin near Bugtussle, which had a general store AND a movie show.

NRBQ

July 29th, 2009
3:43 pm

Aint Pearl lived in Bugtussle, too.

NCBravesFan

July 29th, 2009
3:56 pm

MB: does the Cox Brainstorming Session™ include a Corn Flake eatin’ contest? That might offer a clue right there. ;)

Tim Brown

July 29th, 2009
4:10 pm

Granny rants about the Ozarks. They must be from Arkansas.

Glenn

July 29th, 2009
4:20 pm

Its been hit on . Make sure you remind the powers that be that sex sells . Maybe every week feature a swimsuit or tire model . Maybe push for a sports trivia question or quiz that gives away prizes . Also whoever is responsible for the Find Five brain teaser game thank them for me . Thats why they have brainstorm sessions . Totally brilliant idea . Try to latch yourself to that person . That person will take you places .

PMC

July 29th, 2009
4:22 pm

Mr. Bradley I have but one question for you….

What?

Paddy

July 29th, 2009
4:23 pm

Bugtussle ain’t thar no more. Couple of Ga Tech grads bought the town and renamed it Prado de Mews. Don’t think it will catch on. Loose translation; road to the food co-op.

Mark Bradley

July 29th, 2009
4:31 pm

Hmm. Let me write that down — “sex sells.”

Hillbilly Deluxe

July 29th, 2009
4:34 pm

Mark, most of Missouri isn’t mountainous but if you go down toward the southwest corner it is although the mountains aren’t quite as big as the Blue Ridge, etc. I think being “poor and barely kept a family fed” is true of both regions from what I’ve heard (the family here in north GA will vouch for it).

And KY and West VA aren’t the only states in Appalachia. It runs basically from SW Pennsylvania down to NE Alabama.

I do love it when the blog gets off on a sidebar and roams around. It’s lots more fun than the usual arguments, for me anyhow.