The highlight of my so-called career: I jinx Chipper Jones!
Last year I put the Bradley Whammy on the Braves and the Bulldogs. I’ve since done it to the Falcons in the desert and the Magic in the finals. I am, I think we’ll all agree, uncanny when it comes to affixing a hex. But I have, you should know, just attained a career acme.
I have chumped Chipper.
He was hitting .335 and leading the National League in on-base percentage when I endeavored to write a little something nice about him last week. He hasn’t had a hit since. He’s 0-for-21. The worst he has ever been at any point in his major-league existence is 0-for-23.
I knew I was really good. (Or, depending on your slant, really bad.) I had no idea I was capable of something like this.
So now I’ve decided to use my powers for good, not evil. I am hereby proclaiming — proclaiming, you hear? — that the economy will never, ever get better! Never! Ever! We’re all bound for penury!
I think that ought to do it. You and your 401(k) will thank me within the month. As for poor Chipper Jones … I doubt he’ll get another hit.
What can I say? Sometimes I don’t know my own strength.
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71 comments Add your comment
Mark Bradley
June 15th, 2009
2:29 pm
In my mind, Mr. Turner’s request was totally reasonable. Probably in Mr. Turner’s mind, too.
Mark Bradley
June 15th, 2009
2:35 pm
Speaking of Terry Pendleton … a new post is upcoming.
The Dude
June 15th, 2009
2:43 pm
Isn’t this blog about baseball? I thought so. Mark, I believe you’re born of the same journalism blood as the Braves announcers over the past 20 years. They were always great for providing the negative (this has never happened) jinx on the Braves during broadcasts. That being said, I’ve always liked Braves announcers and missed them dearly during playoff runs on channels other than TBS. On that note, please say something really nice about Tim McCarver.
Phil
June 15th, 2009
2:44 pm
Be-little, BeBOLD,
Bradley will never write about Moron Cox or TP retiring or being fired. He’s one of their biggest supporters.
Mark Bradley
June 15th, 2009
2:47 pm
Re: Terry Pendleton. Here y’all go.
WTF???
June 15th, 2009
2:47 pm
Um, I think this blog is about Bradley jinxing Chipper Jones…. Who happens to be a baseball player…
AJC*
June 15th, 2009
2:54 pm
I can envision Joe Torre visiting the mound while Phil Niekro is pitching, and saying “Ted told me I had to visit you more often”.
The Dude
June 15th, 2009
2:55 pm
Right, WTF???, as in not about LSU football. That’s all the point I was trying to make. Fan boat was pretty funny.
Homer
June 15th, 2009
2:57 pm
WANTED: REAL REPORTER FOR THE AJC….QUICKLY!!
WTF???
June 15th, 2009
3:02 pm
I wish I lived in Louisiana, that way I could make my daily commute in a canoe. Talk about savings…
PMC
June 15th, 2009
3:02 pm
Nah, it’s nothing the elder Mr. Jones can’t fix with a phone call.
Dr. Warren
June 15th, 2009
3:05 pm
Didn’t you once say that Spudd Webb would never hold a candle to Charlie Criss?
AJC*
June 15th, 2009
3:14 pm
At least as a Braves fan I’ve got LSU to fall back on to win the biggest game every 4 years or so….Good luck with that UGA (1980) & G-Tech (probably never)..LOL
WTF???
June 15th, 2009
3:39 pm
UGA will win the NC before LSU does again.
Tebow is gone this year.
Nick Saban is not.
The Dude
June 15th, 2009
3:43 pm
I don’t hang my hopes for enjoyment of life on the performance of a sports team. That’s how I maintain my sanity.
WTF???
June 15th, 2009
3:56 pm
I maintain sanity via hitting many small, white balls into woods. Sometimes grass, but mostly just woods….
Mark Bradley
June 15th, 2009
6:13 pm
Actually, Dr. Warren, that’s one I didn’t say. (Although I might have thunk it.)
Hillbilly Deluxe
June 15th, 2009
6:15 pm
the economy will never, ever get better!
With my luck you’ll be right on that one.
Hillbilly Deluxe
June 15th, 2009
6:17 pm
I’ll say something nice about Tim McCarver. Since I quit watching games he’s broadcasting, I don’t find him nearly as irritating.
Mark Bradley
June 15th, 2009
6:46 pm
Tim McCarver … Tim McCarver … funny, since I discovered the mute button that name no longer registers.
truth-serum
June 15th, 2009
9:58 pm
EITHER DAVID JUSTICE GOES OR I GO!! HE AINT GOING TO UPSTAND ME!!!