Ranking SEC football coaches: Who’s the most irritating?
Given that SEC football coaches have long had the capacity to rankle — remember Jackie Sherrill? Charley Pell? Tommy Tuberville? — you wouldn’t have thought one offseason could wreak so much havoc in the venerable league’s pecking order. Well, you’d have been wrong. Here’s the new world order among SEC mentors, ranked from least irritating to most:
12. Bobby Johnson, Vanderbilt. Everybody likes him. Even rival coaches like him. Except when they lose to him and his intramural team. Then they hate him for getting them fired.
11. Rich Brooks, Kentucky. The only nettling thing about Daddy Rich is that he’d pretty well convinced UK grads — full disclosure: I’m one — he was a lousy hire, whereupon he takes the Cats to three consecutive bowl games. Which means we geniuses were wrong. Geniuses hate being wrong.
10. Gene Chizik, Auburn. The only folks who seem to have a problem with G-Chiz are the Auburn people who can’t believe he’s their head coach.
9. Dan Mullen, Mississippi State. Just got to Starkville. Hasn’t done anything or said anything to rile anybody. (Unlike another newly minted SEC coach.) Doesn’t matter. He came from Florida, which means there has to be something objectionable about him.
8. Houston Nutt, Ole Miss. Arkansas fans hate him for leaving Fayetteville and turning around and beating the Hogs, but that’s what they get for demanding to see his text messages. Other recruiters are mad because he signed 37 players this spring, 12 above the presumed limit. I like him because he’s the only coach in the country about whom you can write, “He’s a certifiable Nutt,” and not be sued for libel.
7. Bobby Petrino, Arkansas. In any other conference, leaving one team the day after a game and showing up in a different time zone that night leading goofy cheers would make you the biggest irritant hands-down. In the SEC, it doesn’t even put you in the barrel’s bottom half.
6. Steve Spurrier, South Carolina. The Evil Genius seems benign and toothless in his new environs. It’s clear he’s not going to win anything of note with the Gamecocks, and the folks who used to cringe at his every utterance can now just ignore him. It’s sad, really. Kind of like seeing Willie Mays stumble in center field as a Met.
5. Mark Richt, Georgia. He’s a famously affable guy, but more and more he’s trying to have it both ways. He tried to pass off a season that began with his team ranked No. 1 and ended in the Capital One Bowl as a rousing success. He has also fallen into the trap that snared his former boss Bobby Bowden — espousing morality but seeming to tolerate misdeeds among his players.
4. Urban Meyer, Florida. Gets decency points for not getting into a spitting match when the new Tennessee coach called him a cheater. Loses decency points for those timeouts he burned against Georgia. Still, he has taken his second BCS title with a surprising amount of grace, especially for a hated Gator.
3. Les Miles, LSU. On the one hand, he has a sense of humor and uses the English language with a definite flair. On the other, his teams have won two Chick-fil-A Bowls by the aggregate score of 78-6 and tried three fake kicks in the second halves of those games. That’s low, Leslie.
2. Nick Saban, Alabama. Because he makes all that money. Because he wins big. Because he never smiles. Because he never sleeps. Because he’s Coach Satan.
1. Lane Kiffin, Tennessee. He thinks the way to win is to talk trash and recruit hard. If your record as a head coach was 5-15, you’d think that, too. But he has already frosted so many people — including some who work in his athletics department — that he’d better win big immediately or he’ll be gone by 2011. Which would be unfortunate. We in the South need to hang on to Li’l Kiffy. He’s the greatest villain since Spurrier sank his fangs into Ray Goff.
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216 comments Add your comment
Meow
February 26th, 2009
10:33 pm
Bobby Johnson is definitely the classiest coach in the SEC.
Randy
February 26th, 2009
10:43 pm
Mark,
Thanks for writing about college football at this particular time of year. There is a bit of a lull now, and personally I’ve read all I want about Frenchy. And whenever I think vile thoughts about Urban Meyer, I remember how he left Notre Dame twisting in the wind, and I can’t help but smile.
cj
February 26th, 2009
11:19 pm
Personally, I love that UGA haven’t realized that Richt is the second coming of Fulmer, except without a Nat’l Title.
“No way!” they all scream. Get back to me in 4-5 yrs boys.
USAF dawg in Iraq
February 27th, 2009
12:20 am
Mark, I see one common denominator in the photo on the front page; they ALL have their big mouths open and not a D@MN thing worth listening to is coming out. I think you’re exagerating Coach Richt’s moral blinders JUST a tad. Most schools have those kinds of problems. Georgia is just more open and forgiving of kids being, well, KIDS. Otherwise GREAT article.
DBCOOPER
February 27th, 2009
12:23 am
Got a UT fan friend. He gets so upset when the media talks about Kiffin. It’s like Kiffin is their little retarded cousin, they need to stick up for. Any person with a brain can see the guy is so far out of his league and over his head it’s ridiculous. I think they have rallied up there because they have no choice. The “we bought it, we own it” mentality. Phat Phil has to smile every time the idiot opens his mouth.
Kyle
February 27th, 2009
2:31 am
Mark,
Re Mark Richt, you criticize his handling of player discipline. Understand there is a difference in treating everyone equally and fairly. It would not be fair to my oldest child if I required her to have the same bedtime as her brother who is a toddler. Trust that Mark Richt and his coaching staff knows his players and they are handling discipline matters fairly and appropriately and that much of that activity is not transparent to the public nor should it be.
Thomas Brown
February 27th, 2009
4:39 am
Who is the Most Irritating AJ-C “Sports- Writer” ?
Terrence Moore because he is a Racist, while AJ-C turns a blind eye to it.
Mark Bradley because he parts his hair in the middle, talks about how great the ACC is, and knows nothing about anything except for Kentucky Basketball.
Tony Barnhart because he thought he was so great, as he pompously carried himself, trying to talk about college football about which he knows nothing. All he ever was was an erstwhile fan of Tar Heel state basketball.
Chip Towers because the AJ-C tells us he is our UGA beat-writer, yet he never has had any article on the Front Page of even the Sports Section; and, because he is lazy because he is wholly unable to either know what the news of the day is as it relates to Bulldogs, or because he is told by his Sports Editor (Flagitiously Rotating Nincompoops) to just try to put a spin on everything Bulldog to appease the 29,000 Georgia Tech alumni in his readership when there are a third of a million UGA alumni instead who buy his papers.
Jeff Schultz because he is toothless sitting there collecting his Atlanta paycheck in this horrid economy while the former Gator cannot bring himself to say what is true about the game in Jacksonville Florida every year when next year is year 20 and UGA has won but 3 in the two decades and counting.
Honorable Mention to :
Mark Schlabach who before Chip Towers took his put crap on UGA angle to every article he posted.
Carter Strickland for his Clifton Geathers Cheap Shot which got him fired.
hop
February 27th, 2009
7:07 am
what a nutty survey,especially rating the ole ball coach over richt, what a joke, i know your subscriptions are continuing to fall,but how desperate can the ajc be?
King Gator
February 27th, 2009
8:04 am
Who cares if your coach is a pain in the arse. We had Spurrier and now have Urb, oh yeah and 3 National Championships since ‘96! Go Gators!
» SEC links: Most irritating football coaches John Clay’s Sidelines
February 27th, 2009
8:24 am
[...] In the AJC, Mark Bradley ranks the SEC’s most irritating football coaches, 1-12. [...]
Mark Bradley
February 27th, 2009
8:52 am
Thanks, Randy. Thanks, JMO. And that’s one thing about me: I might be an idiot, but I’m a persistent idiot.
Eric
February 27th, 2009
9:25 am
It’s a tie: Number one is Satan, Oscar Myer, LezzyLee and Houston’s Nutts. Everyone else is somewhere else on the list.
Kiffin may get last laugh! - VolNation
February 27th, 2009
9:51 am
[...] Here’s another post. This one comparing the SEC coaches as to who is most irritating…. Rating SEC football coaches: Who’s the most irritating? | Mark Bradley [...]
BeachGaBulldog
February 27th, 2009
10:08 am
Urban Crier, NO CONTEST! He is the most CLASSLESS coach by far, not only in the SEC, but in the country. Kiffin is just an idiot. GO DAWGS!
The Real List
February 27th, 2009
10:08 am
Starting with most irritating, my list 1. Steve Spurrier, Urban Meyer, Nick Saban, Lane Kiffin, Les Miles, Houston Nutt, Bobby Petrino, Mark Richt, Rich Brooks, Bobby Johnson, Dan Mullen, Gene Chizik
Chris
February 27th, 2009
10:15 am
Urban’s timeout during the GA game to score could be taken as payback but the timeout against Miami to kick a field goal and improve the score from 23 to 26 points? That’s rank man. The fact that he refers to himself in the third person throughout his autobiography begs the question ‘is the religious thing sincere or did he just skip the humility portion’?
SEC links: Most irritating football coaches | MrSEC.com
February 27th, 2009
10:20 am
[...] In the AJC, Mark Bradley ranks the SEC’s most irritating football coaches, 1-12. [...]
81Dog
February 27th, 2009
10:22 am
Mark, you’re an insightful writer most of the time, but I didnt realize you were also a master fisherman. When I saw Coach Richt ranked ahead of Bobby Petrino, I thought, sheesh, but when I saw him ranked ahead of Steve Spurrier, I thought maybe Terence Moore had hijacked your byline in another attempt to generate page views.
Steve Spurrier could be more obnoxious in 30 seconds of standing still drinking a Gatorade than Mark Richt has been in his whole life. I can see where opposing fans might find Coach Richt annoying in some ways, but more obnoxious than Spurrier? Is this your April Fools Day column one month early?
I really do enjoy your column, even when I disagree, but this one is hilarious.
VOLS 4ever
February 27th, 2009
10:22 am
Why are Georgia fans and writers so concerned with Lane Kiffin if he is going to fail like they say he will? Oh wait I know….. UGA is going down this year. UT’s defense will be even better than its top-5 rating last year and the offense can’t be worse. AJ Green and Marlon Brown are great but who is going to throw to them? I know Eric Berry is going to give Marlon Brown a nice “Tennessee Welcome” this year just like when he knocked out Knowshow Moreno last year.
Seriously though, If “lame kitten” as ya’ll say isn’t going to make a great coach, then why are there articles created every day on this site concerning tennessee.
Mark Bradley
February 27th, 2009
10:33 am
Thanks, 81Dawg. I like to think of myself as the Gallagher of sports writing.
Matt
February 27th, 2009
11:40 am
It’s not Les Miles’ fault that the ACC cannot compete with the Fighting Tigers of LSU. One thing you did not point out, is that in those games, LSU played just about everyone on the bench. It seems that if blowout wins are what makes a coach irritating, in your eyes, then Urban Meyer should be #1 on the list, who would run up the score on the School for the Blind and Mute (who I think are actually on UF’s schedule next season…)
I love the hate towards LSU though. Keep it up. Les will keep on winning and keep on being irritating and funny.
tiger12
February 27th, 2009
11:48 am
This article is laughable. Richt above Spurrier? Are you sure Terrance Moore did not steal your laptop?
JC
February 27th, 2009
11:51 am
Null, your list is hilarious. Especially the Gus Grissom comment!!!
As for this quote a page or 2 back:
“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that “Lame Kitten” is probably the gayest/most retarded nickname SEC fans have come up with in a long, long time.”
Actually I prefer Loud Queefin.
BigMike
February 27th, 2009
12:00 pm
Mark, Lame Kiffin, and Gene Chizik ought to be #1 and 2 based on the fact, alone that they bring those terrible records to “the” premier college conference in the USA. Saban, well everybody hates the guy because he makes his own rules, and they conform to them, without even knowing.
BR
February 27th, 2009
12:01 pm
Winning two titles has ZERO to do with class. Mark Richt has more class in his pinky than Urban Crier does in his whole body.
Kiffin is ranked #1 because he hasn’t even coached one game yet at TN and is already running his mouth (and with that pitiful record!)
Spurrier should be #2 or #3–definitely in front of Saban and Richt.
B
February 27th, 2009
12:04 pm
Urban Meyer fits in perfectly with those arrogant, obnoxious fans at UF! I couldn’t have picked a better match myself!
Who’s The SEC’s Most Irritating Football Coach? | MrSEC.com
February 27th, 2009
12:13 pm
[...] rest of Mr. Bradley’s rankings lay out as follows (you can read his rationale by clicking these pretty red words):1. Lane Kiffin2. Nick Saban (I think that’s a bit high.)3. Les Miles (Is he [...]
Pitbull
February 27th, 2009
12:22 pm
Good job, Mark. However I would move Mark Richt to number 7 and Bobby Petrino to number 5.
As I have said many times colleges cannot monitor athletes’ behavior 24/7 and we only read about UGA athlete transgressions in the AJC.
Where was the story on the UF player currently accused of multiple felony rapes?
Where are the stories on all the other athlete arrests in the other SEC and ACC schools? Do they not hit the wire for the AJC to pick up and publish?
Bobby O'Shea
February 27th, 2009
12:38 pm
Arguing that Vanderbilt is an “intramural team” is as ridiculous as it is inaccurate. Perhaps the Commodores won’t ever compete for the SEC title, but there have been more than a few teams that have faced Bobby Johnson’s squad over the past few years and lost to said IM squad. Also, I seem to remember something about winning a bowl game this year.
What is it about Vanderbilt that makes them an intramural team: The fact that they have academic standards? That they expect their student athletes to attend class? Or that there is an expectation that they might actually graduate?
In the same post that derides Richt for “tolerating the misdeeds” of his players, you insult the Commodores and declare them “less than” for being good collegiate citizens and doing things “the right way.” Having never read your stuff, I can only speculate that at some point you’ve hoisted yourself atop your (virtual) soapbox and lamented about the shortcomings of big time college athletics and how it’s too much of business and schools only pay lip-service to academic and character standards. If that’s the case, than you are a hypocrite. If not, you’re not paying attention, which given your ranking of Steve Spurrier as only the 6th most annoying coach in the SEC is a distinct possibility.
Mark Bradley
February 27th, 2009
1:02 pm
As I explained a page or two back, the “intramural” line was a reference to what a lot of folks around the league said when Gordon Gee dumped his athletics director — that Vandy had decided to play intramural sports instead. And nowhere did I insult the Commodores for being good collegiate citizens. If you divined that by reading between the lines, you read so far between the lines you saw something that wasn’t there.
dandyvandy
February 27th, 2009
1:53 pm
vandy is an intramural team? is that why they beat georgia three years ago and should’ve won two years ago as well as last year? those were all close games.
JC
February 27th, 2009
2:17 pm
Houston Nutt – you couldn’t be more wrong about why the Arkansas fans hate him. And his University issued cell phone is public property and falls under the FOI Act. If he has communications he doesn’t want made public he should be smart enough to use his personal cell phone and not get mad at fans that investigate his mis-use of University property and mis-management of the program he is in charge of.
This Ain’t Intramurals… | MrSEC.com
February 27th, 2009
2:20 pm
[...] is declaring a jihad on the Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s Mark Bradley for his quip that Vanderbilt is an intramurla football team. His “witticism” comes from a post ranking the most annoying coaches in the SEC which [...]
Mort Merkel
February 27th, 2009
2:42 pm
The Tennessee fans are hilarious with their cry, “We’re getting talked about.” Yeah, you are. Nationally, people are talking about how immature, dumb and classless your new coach is. Congratulations on the bad publicity. Ask Adolf Hitler, Pol Pot and Michael Vick if any publicity is good publicity?
Headlinin’: Brian Butler, probed | Boobs and More
February 27th, 2009
2:46 pm
[...] last year, is outgoing USC safety Kevin Ellison actually getting a little slower? … And the AJC goes bottom of the barrel, but, yeah, I clicked on it. You got a problem with [...]
Pol Pot's ghost
February 27th, 2009
2:47 pm
Hey, dude, don’t rank me with that little fool.
DawgGirl32
February 27th, 2009
2:53 pm
Wow, Mark, people just really aren’t getting your “intramural” joke.
rhynster
February 27th, 2009
3:42 pm
FWIW, I thought the ranking was pretty accurate.
In fact, I’d go even further and say Spurrier could be even closer to the bottom.
Irritating? Heck, I just want to give the little fella a big hug and tell him it will all be OK.
Mark Bradley
February 27th, 2009
4:31 pm
Thanks, Rhynster. Thanks, Pitbull.
And DawgGirl32, I’d always thought Vandy folks were famous for their sense of humor. LIve and learn, huh?
Link: The SEC's most irritating coach?? - TideFans.com
February 27th, 2009
5:01 pm
[...] SEC’s most irritating coach?? http://blogs.ajc.com/mark-bradley-bl…st-irritating/ __________________ yes, I have all my teeth and I am not married to my sister! Thanks, [...]
Rick Childs
February 27th, 2009
5:11 pm
I’m a Vol, Kiffin’s out of control.
Mark Bradley never had an original thought in his sad little life. Go ride a garbage truck and be useful
Why you gotta say that? « Football on the Brain
February 27th, 2009
5:29 pm
[...] Why you gotta say that? Why you gotta say that???!! [...]
Jack
February 27th, 2009
5:42 pm
Most irritating overuse in southern sportswriting: Vanderbilt and the word “intramural”. It’s not cute and it’s very insulting to the kids that play there, including 20 plus Georgia natives that receive scholarships to play and excel in that program. I wish sportswriters would get a little more original and stop this repetitive garbage. A stupid term used over 6 years ago and people are still using it. Get some class already.
81Dog
February 27th, 2009
7:09 pm
Mark, do not demean yourself by calling yourself the Gallegher of sports writing. That’s a silly comparison. It’s not like you use props (unless your goal here was to rub several UGA fans together and see if you could start a fire). Now, if you considered yourself the Carrot Top of sports writing…..
I’m kidding. I think you’re immensely talented, and usually entertaining. This was, perhaps, not your finest moment, but never fear. Even Bruce Springsteen cranks out a “Nebraska” once in a while.
Mark Bradley
February 27th, 2009
7:13 pm
And here I always considered “Nebraska” a brave (but perhaps flawed) experiment. Sort of like this column.
I appreciate the patronage, 81 Dog.
Julian
February 27th, 2009
7:32 pm
This was really lame.
Robert
February 27th, 2009
8:02 pm
Coach Nutt was booted from Fayetteville, which is somewhat different from having simply “left Fayetteville”. And if that cost Arkansas a game against Ole Miss, then I don’t think you’ll find many Arkansas fans who were surprised or who mind paying that price, because most believe that a Nutt-led Ole Miss team could beat Arkansas every year and still not be as successful as the Hogs year in and out.
Speaking of Nutt, I’m so confident that Ole Miss will fail to meet expectations next year that I’d be willing to bet my house on it. As always with Nutt, Ole Miss will win and lose games that it shouldn’t next year, but lose the game that really matters (unless Ole Miss fans consider that game to be in the egg bowl.) Coach Nutt is the master of surprising upsets, but an absolute failure when it comes to games that actually matter.
I’m not sure if SEC fans understand this, because they expect Arkansas to be over-matched in big games, so it’s not surprising when they lose again to Florida in the SECC. But that’s not what Arkansas fans expect and it was part of the reason why Coach Nutt was released of his duties. If you want to upset the SEC’s upper tier programs, then Coach Nutt is your man. But you’d better find someone else if you want to win a conference championship.
DawgsRule
February 27th, 2009
8:45 pm
1. Urban Whiner
2. Nick Saban
3. Lane Kiffin
UGA players and coaches already have Oct 31 circled on their calendars. They’ll remember those 2 late timeouts called by meyer to rub in that 49-10 blowout. It’s payback time on Halloween baby!!!
Vandywill
February 27th, 2009
9:34 pm
Ok,so being called an intramural team is a “joke.” Kinda like the joke about growing watermelon on the White House lawn that forced a California mayor to resign. We at VU are a “minority” in the SEC being a private school and expecting our athletes to dare to graduate.
Hey, this “joke” is politically incorrect. In fact it meets the definition of a “hate” crime. Can we proceed with prosecution, or at least an apology and a resignation. There is no defense for a “hate” crime.
Mark, be glad we do have a sense of humor. Being called “intramural” gets old, especially with the implication that placing the athletic department under the academic hierarchy represents a de-emphasis of major intercollegiate athletics at Vanderbilt. The truth is the exact opposite. We are an integrated whole. Our recent success in multiple sports attests to that fact.
JustCallMeChamp
February 27th, 2009
9:39 pm
Well Mr Bradley, if you can measure the success of an article by the response it generates, this is a GREAT discussion! I’ve enjoyed reading every opinion and angle! Here’s the bottom line though…with the exception of KIffin almost ALL of these coaches have had GREAT success at some time in their careers and the SEC cannot be matched for the quality of HCs. Love them or hate them but when I look at names like Nick Saban, Les Miles, Urban Meyer, Steve Spurrier with National Championships and it’s like a who’s who list of college coaches. And guys like Mark Richt are not far behind. If you a rival and you aren’t beating them, it only natural to despise them. As a Florida fan of many years, I can still vividly remember my dislike for Vince Dooley because it seemed we could never beat that guy! We Florida fans HATED how he would always criticize his own team and talk up the Gators and then commence to beating the tar out of us! But at the end of the day in our innermost thoughts, we knew it boiled down that he was just a great coach. ALL we ever wanted to was beat those Bulldogs! Ironically years later I had a chance to meet Mr Dooley at SEC meeting in Florida and I have to say, the man is a class act and I even congratulated him for all those years he whipped up on us! lol And now a days…well now a days I think of Coach Spurrier and Coach Meyer and Tim Tebow…and I just have to pinch myself.