Posts Tagged ‘LSU Tigers’

SEC title would mean Georgia’s return to elite status (video added)

Mark Richt has Georgia in the SEC championship game for second straight year. (Brant Sanderlin/AJC)

Mark Richt has Georgia in the SEC championship game for second straight year. (Brant Sanderlin/AJC)

(VIDEO ADDED BELOW)

This might stun starry-eyed middle-schoolers and high school players, who are otherwise oblivious to ancient history before 2006 in the SEC. But even the football Godzillas of this conference and, it follows, the globe, aren’t that far removed from humility (and Shreveport).

Before the last five seasons under Nick Saban, Alabama had an 11-year stretch (1997-2007) when it reached double digits in wins only three times, suffered through four losing seasons, four non-bowl years, lost to Auburn six straight years, went to the Music City Bowl twice and even was subjected to the Independence Bowl . . . three times! There’s your, “Roll Tide.”

Florida fans would like to forget the Ron Zook era of relative torment, sandwiched between Steve Spurrier and Urban Meyer.

Auburn just fired a coach, Gene Chizik, who won a national championship two years ago.

LSU: You say …

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Predictions: Smelly, incompetent, soft Bullldogs win again

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According to legend, and also Wikipedia, my two favorite sources when I have other things to do, the expression, “Eureka!” dates to the Greek scholar Archimedes, who noticed that when he stepped into a bathtub the water level rose and he exclaimed, “Eureka!” because, I dunno, “Wow,” just didn’t sound scholarly. Archimedes then continued this research into volume by seeing what would happen if he sat in a hot tub with five co-eds from Palermo State, but that didn’t work out so good, he lost his grant and now can be found teaching sociology at junior college in Poughkeepsie.

So last week, Georgia punched Florida in the mouth, and I’m certain I heard Mark Richt exclaim, “Eureka! No more Mr. Nice Guy!” See, because I’m sure the Bulldogs played tough because they were angry at being called “soft” by teammate Shawn Williams.

So coddling days are over. This week Richt called in appropriate inspirational speakers to address his players:

"Bring me the broomstick of Nick Saban!"

"Bring me the broomstick of Nick Saban!"

Oz: …

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Here’s how Georgia can get to BCS game (step by step) (UPDATED)

Will Georgia players and fans have something to celebrate with the BCS standings? (AP photo)

Will Georgia players and fans have something to celebrate with a BCS title berth? (AP photo)

(Video added below)

It wasn’t long after Georgia’s win over Florida when I received a few emails and messages on Twitter asking whether the Bulldogs could make it to the BCS championship game. So while this certainly qualifies as putting the cart before the horse – or the crystal trophy before even the SEC East – here’s an outline of what has to happen for the Dogs to get to this year’s BCS title game in Miami on Jan. 7.

1. No. 6 Georgia needs to win its final four regular season games: Mississippi (home), at Auburn (which potentially clinches the East), Georgia Southern (home) and Georgia Tech (home). The Dogs will be favored in all four. They are 14-to-17½-point favorites over Mississippi. Georgia also can’t afford to look unimpressive in the wins because there is a chance that voters in the two polls used in the BCS equation drop them in the rankings.

2. No. 1 Alabama …

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Weekend Predictions: Bulldogs, Jackets rise from dead

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Before getting to this week’s expected resurrection, I felt the need to do some research on raising the dead. See, a year ago, Georgia lost its first two games of the season and was declared kaputski, only to win its next 10 games, thereby saving the season, the head coach and all hope for those who embrace the idea of bringing a corpse back to life, particularly in an election year. (”How much for that Lincoln or FDR on the top shelf? Can I at least get a discount on Andrew Jackson with a Kroger Plus Card?)

So here we are again, with the Bulldogs having flat-lined in South Carolina. This prompted some research on what it would take to raise the dead. (Street term: black magic, potions or campaign speeches). This is what I found on SpellsOfMagic.com. (Back off. I’m a journalist.):

This is a job for Dr. Frankstein (pronounced: franken-STEEN).

It's a job for Dr. Frankenstein (pronounced: franken-SHTEEN).

This spell will raise the dead and make them immortal . Don’t use this spell no matter what resion[sic]. There is consequences. …

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Weekend Predictions: No sacrifices, but Falcons, LSU win

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Welcome back to Weekend Predictions, where we may fool you into taking one of our Just Kidding Picks once a while — Georgia over South Carolina? Just kidding — but we would never pimp out our abused young pawns to the highest bidder for the sake of a case of footballs, new carpeting and a dozen legal pads. Because then, we would be no better than a financially desperate athletic director.

And speaking of Georgia State. What next? Maybe lease out 20 or 30 players to the Atlanta Police Department for Taser practice? That would clear $100,000.

In another attempt to provide a thoroughly enriching college football experience — go with it — Georgia State athletic director Cheryl Levick has brokered deals to throw her fledgling program’s abused slabs of meat into the center of the Roman Coliseum against Alabama and West Virginia next season and Oregon in 2015.

See, I don't make up my pop culture references.

Wait, I thought Cheryl Levick had blonde hair?

For these three sacrifices, GSU will make $2.15 million, less medical …

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Predictions: Dogs over Darth Rooster, Falcons over Skins

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Before getting to this week’s big game between Georgia and the S.S. Columbia, captained by Coach Queeg, we have some news related to roosters: It’s World Farm Animals Week!

I checked PETA’s website, and fortunately they did not mandate that all SEC schools with animal mascots change their names to something more acceptable, like to the Fighting Whole Grain Muffins, but it did commemorate this event with a blog that read in part: “By the end of the day, 104,273 cows, 297,392 pigs, 702,383 turkeys, and 21,261,534 chickens will have been killed in the U.S. to satisfy an old eating habit.”

"Bread. Milk. Overthrow Lichteinstein."

"Bread. Milk. Overthrow Liechtenstein."

And I know what you heathens are thinking: Does that come with fries? Because I’m pretty sure if cows, pigs, turkeys and chickens were sitting at the top of the food chain instead of on the right side of the menu, they would pull into a “Bones” (same name) and ask: “Does the Spurrier chops come with a side? Actually, never mind. They had a weird …

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Weekend Predictions: Dogs yes, Jackets no, Hawaii (duh)

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(Updated)

Because Jim Donnan needs a little investment advice (and possibly a mallet to the head), because we’re either in the midst of economic recovery or one hiccup away from all sweeping streets in a Habitrail (depending on political affiliation, or whether Donnan has you on speed dial), and because Bobby Petrino was kind enough to give me another full season’s worth of material (”Watch me cry. Where’s camera 2?”) . . .

Hello. I am back.

Don’t worry. Your money is safe here. We rely neither on Jim Donnan’s economic indicators nor Todd Akin’s wealth of knowledge about the human anatomy  (”Two Pop Tarts before sex is a proven contraception method, and if you forget you can still do the Royal Zulu Dance to prevent pregnancy. Hey, where’d everybody go?”)

Jim Donnan carries his imaginary pot of gold.

Jim Donnan carries his imaginary pot of gold.

Weekend Predictions returns every year because we have a proven method of success. We don’t do market research. We don’t care about tendencies. Actually, we try to avoid facts …

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Mark Richt’s pay tied to incentives, as it should be

Mark Richt will need to have a high degree of success to increase his paycheck at Georgia. (AP photo)

Mark Richt will need to have a high degree of success to increase his paycheck at Georgia. (AP photo)

Mark Richt won 10 straight games last season, brought Georgia to the SEC championship for the first time in six years and generally allayed fears that the football program was starting to circle the drain.

But he is not going to get a raise, and that pretty much indicates where the bar has been set in Athens.

Richt’s contract extension is still not finalized. It unofficially has been stuck on “almost finished” longer than any document in American history.

The most intriguing part of the new deal won’t be contract length but the amount of Richt’s buyout, which is the best indicator of somebody’s job security. (It’s much easier to fire a coach with a $2 million buyout than a $10 million buyout.)  But athletic director Greg McGarity confirmed Thursday that Richt won’t be receiving a raise in the new deal.

Speaking to the UGA’s athletic board at annual meetings in Greensboro, …

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Spurrier says only SEC division games should count (really?)

Neither Steve Spurrier nor Rex Ryan have been known as coaches who conform. That can be good or bad. (AP photo)

Neither Steve Spurrier nor Rex Ryan have been known as coaches who conform. That can be good or bad. (AP photo)

Let me preface this by saying that I actually like Steve Spurrier. He is a great coach, he changed the SEC with what he accomplished at Florida and he doesn’t cheat (although “suspending” former quarterback Stephen Garcia five times without forcing him to actually miss a game certainly set new standards for enabling and being disingenuous).

But Spurrier’s latest idea is beyond looney.

The South Carolina coach is about to make a wonderful self-serving proposal. He believes the SEC’s division champions — the participants in the conference championship game — should be determined not by the teams’ conference records but by just results within the division.

I’m sure the fact that the Gamecocks will play SEC West teams LSU and Arkansas in 2012 while Georgia plays only Auburn and Mississippi has nothing to do with this brainstorm.

It’s shocking, really, that Spurrier …

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Countdown: Super ads, PETA’s wings, Saban’s job offer?

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Now on Stage 3, at the Super Bowl . . .

If this was Pledge of Allegiance, Janet would have right hand over her heart, not left hand over … you know.

Like most people in the regular and underworlds, The Count likes the Super Bowl, not for the game but for the food and the commercials, and that rare occasion when the the NFL halftime show morphs into a night at the “Club Hubba Hubba,” less for the split-second look at part of one of Janet Jackson’s breastacles (I saw it! I saw it!) but because it looked like somebody had just connected jumper cables to the toes of then-commissioner Paul Tagliabue, who said, “We were extremely disappointed by the MTV-produced halftime show. The show was offensive, inappropriate and embarrassing to us and our fans.” After which the league showed more commercials to help you get drunk and correct erectile dysfunction. (”Daddy, why did mommy laugh at the Viagra commercial?”) Any way, this is Super Bowl week, and that means more new commercials and hopefully nothing to surprising at …

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