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The Count: not one for flowers.

The Count isn’t quite the romantic. He never has been one for long relationships. Then again, you sort of eliminate the possibility of being tied down to one women when you bite a dozen new acquaintances on the neck every full moon. That leaves his hookups somewhat pale and undemanding. Fortunately, that means The Count doesn’t have to deal with every guy’s least favorite holiday, Valentine’s Day. But here’s great news, guys: Valentine’s Day has been devalued by $4 this year! It’s true. According to something called the National Retail Federation, couples will spend an average of $63.34 romancing each other this Valentine’s Day, or roughly the cost of drive-thru for two, his and her Nick Saban bobblehead dolls and a six-pack in Tuscaloosa. That $4 less than in 2009. “Valentine’s Day is more of a discretionary occasion than Christmas and birthdays, which means it will be hit particularly hard by the current economic climate,” said George Van …

Continue reading Valentine’s Countdown: Tiger, Kendra and a statue of Bud? »

Even The Count couldn't compete with Derek Jeter.

Once upon a time, Jim Mora wasn’t a psychopath. Or so the story goes. The Count still remembers when Mora wowed the Falcons owner Arthur Blank with his 729-point plan for success. The problem was that nobody stopped to realize that even job candidates who might possibly be one taco short of a combination plate can have a plan. The first hint of a problem came right after Mora convinced Blank to hire him when he walked outside, adjusted the tinfoil hat on his head and transmitted his secret notes back to the mother ship on the Planet Dumdum. And to think, we thought dad was the crazy one in the family. In case you haven’t heard, Mora continues to burn bridges on this and all neighboring planets. Nurse Ratched, I believe it’s time for our Happy Pills. We count down . . .

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10. Ruskell to Mora: Et tu, Brute?

Jim Mora made it through one season as the Seattle Seahawks coach. That’s two less than he made it with the Falcons. His …

Continue reading Countdown goodbyes: Mora, Carroll, Jeter’s harem (oh my) »

This shouldn’t distract from the fact Georgia was outplayed and outclassed in every way in Jacksonville – nor from the fact that the Bulldogs committed four personal fouls themselves and have devolved into one of the nation’s most-penalized and least disciplined teams.

But SEC officials should look seriously at suspending Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes.

By now, you’ve probably heard about or seen video of Spikes’ attempted eye-gouging of Georgia running back Washaun Ealey in the third quarter of  Saturday’s game.

If not, here it is.

Take a look and then I’ll be back.

(UPDATE: The previous video has been removed by YouTube for copyright issues. This is another version — not as clear but clear enough.)

Pretty nasty, huh?

Now, I’m sure this sort of thing happens all the time at the bottom of the pile in the NFL. I’m guessing it also happens sometimes at the bottom of the pile in SEC games, particularly with players who project to the NFL (Spikes). But there really is no …

Continue reading SEC should consider suspending Florida’s Spikes »