Predictions: This time it’s all red — Dogs, Falcons win
As we head down the stretch of this football season and attempt to answer the age-old question, “Who whines more: SEC football fans after losing a game or Republicans after losing an election?” — and this is why I always check under my car for suspicious wire before starting it — it’s time to check in on the remains of Gene Chizik.
Two years ago, Auburn won the national championship. Now the Tigers are 2-7 overall and 0-6 in the SEC.
The governors of Colorado and Washington.
Or, as Karl Rove would put it, they’re trending upward and on the verge of conquering the SEC West, the conference, the BCS, Ohio (don’t it make my red eyes blue?), Hawaii, Alaska, Manitoba, the dangling chads of Florida, the clogging anchors of Fox, the Western Hemisphere, the Eastern Bloc (Commies! We’ll hunt ‘em all down!), the Peoples Republic of Cheech and Chong (Colorado and Washington just legalized marijuana — so, yes, we have confirmation that Doritos has lobbyists) and even the educated, artistic and peaceful liberals of Alderaan (oh wait, they were destroyed by the Death Star in Episode IV. Never mind.)
Back to Gene Chizik. I’m generally not a proponent of firing coaches two years after winning national championships. But this guy is now 9-29 in SEC and Big 12 conference games in which he didn’t have the luxury of telling Cam Newton, “Here’s the ball. Go do anything you want.”
I know what you’re thinking: “Georgia’s going to let down.”
Not this time. Too much at stake: The SEC East and a trip to the Georgia Dome. That’s reality, not an electoral projection.
If the Bulldogs can just keep Mark Richt off a swing set, they should be fine.
The line is a whopper: 15½. But it’s covered. Division, ho!
You contest (and Lane Kiffin) update
The wit and wisdom of Mr. Burns (whiny SEC fan?)
OLD SCHOOL
Just trying to help Curry with a little zen rock garden.
Georgia Tech at North Carolina: The Jackets are 1-0 without athletic director Dan Radakovich. See, I’m all about the positive. It was either that or point out Tech’s four wins have come over 2-9 Presbyterian and three ACC teams with a combined conference record of 4-12. Oops. Heels win, but take Tech and 9.
Georgia State at Maine: Not saying Bill Curry has had a rough season, but last week he inadvertently turned in an organ-donation card instead of a lineup card. A Zen moment: A career-ending win for Curry.
Texas A&M at Alabama: The disingenuous Nick Saban says no-huddle, spread offenses like A&M’s are a danger to player safety. Let me translate: “If they go too fast and I can’t rotate my three-deep, five-star, winded front seven, there’s a chance I might lose. And another thing, Sumlin: Get off of my lawn!” Tide win, but give me the Aggies and 14.
How about Dooley vs. Saban in a Zoolander-esque "Walk-off."
Arkansas at South Carolina: Too bad it’s not Bobby Petrino vs. Steve Spurrier or we could’ve had “The Moral Compass Bowl.” Jimmy Johnson actually said Arkansas should rehire Petrino. Question: Is he willing to bankroll the university for all future sexual-harassment lawsuits? Yeah. Didn’t think so. Roosters cover 14.
Missouri at Tennessee: Derek Dooley was depicted in “art work” on UT’s painted rock again, this time as “Doolander” (as in, “Zoolander”). With all of that creativity on campus, you’d think somebody could draw up a play. Finally, an SEC win: Vols cover 3½.
Mississippi State at LSU: Les Miles is a great coach when he’s not trying to pull a moose out of a hat (cue: Bullwinkle). Tigers win, but take the other Dogs and 14½.
Les Miles reaching into his playbook
NFL SNACK PACK
"So are we going to carpool to work next year?"
Falcons at Saints: The Saints have stabilized since an 0-4 start. That’s not to say they’re going to make the playoffs, but at least linebacker Curtis Lofton isn’t stabbing himself with a fork in the middle of the night, screaming, “What have I done!?!”By the way, what’s Sean Payton doing with a Dallas tags on his car? Falcons cover 2½.
Cowboys at Eagles: Jerry Jones the owner said he would fire Jerry Jones the general manager, but then Jerry Jones the deluded poobah most responsible for the Cowboys’ mess said he won’t strip himself of personnel duties. The good news: With one playoff win in 15 years, he has the full support of 31 other owners. Eagles win (and take the 1).
Texans at Bears: Houston strikes me as one of those really good teams that will never do anything in the playoffs. Then again, the Bears have Jay Cutler. Winner: Texans (take the 1).
Broncos at Panthers: Since those three quick interceptions against the Falcons, Peyton Manning has thrown 18 touchdowns and three picks. It’s all in the timing. Denver covers.
It’s Jerry Jones, starring as “Dark Helmet” (”Spaceballs”)
BUT WHO’S COUNTING? (ME)
Last week: 8-3 straight up, 7-4 against the line.
So far, so awesome: 86-26 straight up, 66-45-1 against the line.
“Sack Schultz” update: “JoeB1515″ and “Rayne09″ lead the race for the Georgia-Georgia Tech tickets and other prizes. “Wildone” leads for the trip to Hawaii. Lucky dude Brad Sawyer of Stockbridge who went 14-1 last week to win a Marlow’s giftcard and a Fathead.
Lilly Pick of the Week: It’s Falcons-Saints week. Cheeseballs were placed on pictures of the two quarterbacks, Matt Ryan and Drew Brees. Lilly puts her 5-4 record on the line. The winner: Brees.
Lilly is an Atlanta native but she has no allegiances to Falcons. Clearly.
By Jeff Schultz
Tell us what you think about the site
Customer Care »
Vacation stops, manage subscriptions and more
AJC Services
Sections
Other Editions
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
362 comments Add your comment
DawgNole
November 9th, 2012
9:33 pm
kingdaddy
November 9th, 2012
9:22 pm
DawgNole
you said it my brother. I like confidence, but not over-confidence. Many great armies were beaten by lesser opponets by superior tactics and a force of will. I am not saying we will lose, not by a long shot. I’m thinking @10 points. Hope its by more, but for some reason Auburn scares me and give me a sense of foreboding. Can’t put my finger on it…
______________________
There’s a reason they’ve won one more than we have in the series–despite our recent success. And even though we’ve claimed our share down there, they’re always dangerous as a host. That crowd will be packed and jacked. We need to get up early and quiet them down. Won’t be like Ole Miss, when we had the crowd behind us. I’d be delighted with a 10-point win–or a one-pointer for that matter.
Discount DoubleDawg
November 9th, 2012
9:40 pm
I agree… I will be happy with a W but I really will be disppointed if we come out slow or look sloppy. I will take the W regardless but it seems we should be able to come out sharp and impose our will.
jakedsnake
November 9th, 2012
9:52 pm
Whenever I try to read one of your columns, I become more convinced that AJC should make you pee in a cup four times a day. You’re on something.
kingdaddy
November 9th, 2012
10:11 pm
Triple D
One way not to be disappointed is to expect history to repeat itself. Another words, for whatever reason, we start slow. It is a bad habit, but it’s a habit nevertheless. Try not to get too upset until midway through the 3rd quarter. If we haven’t fixed it by then, we are in trouble. This is why we have trouble beating good teams. It’s a bad flaw in Richt’s coaching philosophy…
Wilbo
November 9th, 2012
10:13 pm
Hey, jackass, you write a crappy sports blog, but at least you don’t sound like such an insipid fool as you do when you spout off about politics. Stick to what you know at least a little something about, or shut up, why don’t you?
O'Ventbrel
November 10th, 2012
12:16 am
I must say, the Derek Doolander jab is priceless
JSS
November 10th, 2012
4:42 am
What asininity in your statement but that is par the course for your comments.
The heaven myth predated your silly reference. Williams could have chosen
JSS
November 10th, 2012
5:00 am
What asininity in your statement but that is par the course for your comments.
The heaven myth predated your silly reference. Williams could have chosen any of a number of ways to some form of it, that’s how “myths” work…
P B Orr
November 10th, 2012
7:28 am
My god this way funny
And capped off by Lilly and the Cheeseballs. Doesn’t that sound like a punk rock band?
Red State Voter
November 10th, 2012
7:39 am
May blessings be upon Larry and Beast from the East for their keen insight into Tuesday’s election results. Unfortunately, the decent, hard-working people in this country were simply overwhelmed by the deadbeats, union goons, and morons.
We may have our gridiron spats and squabbles, but at least we’re all together in a red state, I’m proud to say. Schultz needs to return to the west coast, where his “humor” would be more appreciated.
Tampa Gator
November 10th, 2012
8:47 am
Don’t look now Georgia, but more and more of the 49% (soon to be much more than that percentage) is pouring in large numbers into your state………and soon the red color on that Georgia electoral map….will turn blue as well…..and particularily if your state continues to see everything in WHITE and BLACK.
And…..at least your state counted in the electoral election process. The extremist TEA PARTY leaders of Florida obviously did everything they could to keep the votes of the people of Florida out the the process of electing the President of the United States of America. And I am sure….if the election had come down to Florida in the end……they would have done even more to influence that final vote outcome….be careful what you wish for……..extremism is very dangerous…..left or right.
Tampa Gator
November 10th, 2012
8:55 am
Red State Voter……
What you really meant to say……”the vote was finally not determined by older, Bible carrying white men who think mostly with closed minds.”
You see…..even with people like you still living and trying to dominate in America…….this country remains great and majority free of one sided, extremism. Sorry about that upsets you so.
Wet Willie...keep on smiling
November 10th, 2012
9:17 am
when this country goes broke and those elite folks come out of these large cities looking for something to eat you tell them your spill about the tea party sport! The country boys can survice. Smith & Wesson.
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
10:06 am
Willie
You’re wasting your time. They will still be looking for someone to blame in 4 years…
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
10:33 am
JSS
ASININITY is something a narcissist that’s drunk on his own ego like you, should know a lot about. Obviously, that’s not all you’re drunk on, LMAO! OK, so I spanked you and you seemed to have liked it. I dropped it, but your preoccupation with yourself keeps you from doing the same. Grow up. You may think of yourself as highly educated,LOL, but if you were smart (which is highly debatable at this time) then you would move on with your life and try and get me out from under your thin skin. I let it drop already, but your narcissistic tendencies won’t let you do the right thing. Trust me, you ain’t all that, lol…
BTW, your last post was the pitiful ramblings of a wounded blog-bully. Good thing Tennessee Williams is dead so he didn’t have to read your sad attempt to explain yourself once again…
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
10:54 am
JSS
YOUR 5:00 AM IS SENSELESS BLATHERING.
More inane nonsense from a liberal elitist who got his feelings hurt and his tiny toes stepped on. Reread you post a couple of times before you post. Maybe I would understand it better if I was as drunk as you. Remember, that the people that you like to talk down to, were swinging in trees not to long ago. I guess that’s a problem for you since you are so much farther evolved than the rest of us. Your asininity is showing…What a jerk…
DawgNole
November 10th, 2012
11:05 am
Tampa Gator
November 10th, 2012
8:47 am
Don’t look now Georgia, but more and more of the 49% (soon to be much more than that percentage) is pouring in large numbers into your state………and soon the red color on that Georgia electoral map….will turn blue as well…..and particularily if your state continues to see everything in WHITE and BLACK.
___________________
Not white and black, but RED and BLACK–as in the colors of the team that beat yours into submission two weeks ago for the second year in a row. THAT is what matters on a football blog.
JSS
November 10th, 2012
11:15 am
It was 10:54 and you will the one was still blabbling…
What do you know of “tree swinging?” You’re no Billie Holiday fan… That will go right over your simple head… Rather be a “jerk” than a sheep following theways of self professed “social political cons.”
We Progressives will continue doing what we’ve done since 1857. That is saving you from yourself!
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
11:20 am
Tamp
Excatly what did the “extremist” teapartiers do to obstruct the vote? Require a valid ID to vote? Did they set up road-blocks and ask which way are you voting? Sorry, but you can’t enter. Don’t be an idiot, I fought for freedom of speech and the right to vote. You are full of shiz…
JSS
November 10th, 2012
11:23 am
Get use to getting “Goldwater’ed” it fits y’all!
P B Orr
November 10th, 2012
11:27 am
If anyone really didn’t understand why Rmoney and the Drifters lost, consider the hysterical, emotionally unstable, high-school wrathful girly comments of kingdaddy, Red State, etc. etc. That’s right daddy-o and Redface, I’m a complete deadbeat with two degrees from Ga. Tech and I’m so happy that your cringing, opportunistic, self-absorbed, spoiled, pusillanimous haircut of a girl-man lost I could spit.
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
11:28 am
JSS
I can’t believe you called Billie Holliday a “tree-swinger”. What a racist POS.
You need counseling and better objectivity. Aren’t you from the party of inclusion, lol…
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
11:37 am
PB or jelly
Please try to keep your big words to a minimum. You may hurt yourself…
Kool-Aid Dreamz
November 10th, 2012
12:14 pm
The absurd dream ends tonight: Auburn 23, Georgia 20
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
12:14 pm
PButter
Please try to pay off your studnt loans…
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
12:22 pm
Kool Aide
Are we talking about the same 2-7/0-6 Auburn team? Good, cause nobody can be that bad. Guess you just wanted to get our confidence up, huh???
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
12:27 pm
Wrathfully girly, lol, another panty-waist…
Nothing is scarier than a PO’d woman, but seeing as you went to Tech, you wouldn’t know. Blow-up Dolls are kinda passive, huh girly-man???
JSS
November 10th, 2012
1:20 pm
Gee, somebody (see the idiot: pretend kingdaddy) never heard the Billie Holiday song:”Strange fruit!”
Dude, get some counseling and education for yourself before you use a term like “tree swinging” to poorly express your inferiority issues on a blog again…
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
1:39 pm
JSS
Cry me a river sissyboy. You got schooled, get over it. Is Sen. BYRD still a member of the Grand ol Wizards? I mean Dems…oh yeah, he’s nomo. Time for football, dumba$$. Get over it Lucy…
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
1:45 pm
JSS
According to evolution, we are all “tree-swingers”. You called Miss Holiday one though. You should have more respect for the deceased. Especially one as great as Billie Holiday. Most liberals only respect people that think like they do. Just like you…
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
2:11 pm
Hey jjs
you got a book of “codewords”???
I’ve got a codeword 4-u…
U – R – A – DUMBA$$…
DO YOU NEED ME TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU LUCY???
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
3:32 pm
Arkansas falls hard. Too bad, maybe next year…
JSS
November 10th, 2012
3:53 pm
You must be an idiot? Did you even study evolution in school? Most homonoidaes ancestors were never “tree swingers.” Even our closet evolved cousin the chimp only took to tree for protection… They were ground dwellers who adapted… “Adapted” there is something you should try doing!
woof woof
November 10th, 2012
4:06 pm
Lilly needs to get back to picking the Dawgs! Did Uga IX spurn her?
Cheech and Chong as governors…..that’s a goodun!
And Jeff, in all your years, you wouldn’t know what wires look like under a car hood, would ya?
Kirby Dumb
November 10th, 2012
4:08 pm
Jj is dumber than me!
DH
November 10th, 2012
4:13 pm
Take that, Schultz. Georgia Tech wins — big.
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
4:23 pm
Jjs
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
4:27 pm
Says he’s a progressive. Don’t know what working at an insurance co.has to do with anything, lol. We’re Dems. No, we’re libs. Scratch that, we’re progressives, yeah that sounds good…LMAOFF…
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
4:30 pm
When real folks realize who you really are, you change your names again…why don’t you just stick with socialist???
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
4:34 pm
I feel better knowing I didn’t descend from apes. I’ll sleep better tonight, lol…
Boo Boo
November 10th, 2012
4:43 pm
Mr. Schultz, Please go to the office and ask Dave O’Brien to splain to you how to remove the posted article on pages 2-20, where the thread of comments continue. He regularly gets over 1,000 comments and he knows no one wants to read his article more than once. He knows where the button is to only post a article once, on page one. Just tryin to help out here, but you could keep on writing articles that only attract 100-300 comments.
Buzz 2011
November 10th, 2012
4:47 pm
Schultz… oops…………………………………………………………………oops””””””””””””””””””””””””oops””””””””””
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
5:02 pm
Tech
Congrats on a great win today…
JSS
November 10th, 2012
6:36 pm
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Zombie blogger cannibalizing himself… See anything with kingdaddy username attached to it…
Sorry pretender, I have time for that silly multiple username fantasy that many of you revel in… Try again when you come down from your meds…
JSS
November 10th, 2012
6:41 pm
“Socialist?” There hasn’t been a real American “socialist” Eugene Debs… But in your deluded world, they are everywhere! Bogeyman is coming for you, Boo!!! You’re a mental midget, scared of your own shadow huh?
DawgNole
November 10th, 2012
6:43 pm
JSS
November 10th, 2012
6:36 pm
Sorry pretender, I have time for that silly multiple username fantasy that many of you revel in… Try again when you come down from your meds…
_____________________
You have time for it? That’s what we thought.
Skeptic
November 10th, 2012
7:23 pm
TAMU vs. Bammer–
Ahem.
John
November 10th, 2012
9:08 pm
Love that people are still upset that Obama won. Oh well, maybe you’ll get over your racism. Or maybe not…
Obama 2012!
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
9:52 pm
Jss
Were you a member of the SS? I am your bogeyman, lol, what a clown you are. Now everyone else knows you’re an idiot with thin-skin…check back with me later you blow-hard…
kingdaddy
November 10th, 2012
9:53 pm
See ya later “Toast”…