Predictions: This time it’s all red — Dogs, Falcons win
As we head down the stretch of this football season and attempt to answer the age-old question, “Who whines more: SEC football fans after losing a game or Republicans after losing an election?” — and this is why I always check under my car for suspicious wire before starting it — it’s time to check in on the remains of Gene Chizik.
Two years ago, Auburn won the national championship. Now the Tigers are 2-7 overall and 0-6 in the SEC.
The governors of Colorado and Washington.
Or, as Karl Rove would put it, they’re trending upward and on the verge of conquering the SEC West, the conference, the BCS, Ohio (don’t it make my red eyes blue?), Hawaii, Alaska, Manitoba, the dangling chads of Florida, the clogging anchors of Fox, the Western Hemisphere, the Eastern Bloc (Commies! We’ll hunt ‘em all down!), the Peoples Republic of Cheech and Chong (Colorado and Washington just legalized marijuana — so, yes, we have confirmation that Doritos has lobbyists) and even the educated, artistic and peaceful liberals of Alderaan (oh wait, they were destroyed by the Death Star in Episode IV. Never mind.)
Back to Gene Chizik. I’m generally not a proponent of firing coaches two years after winning national championships. But this guy is now 9-29 in SEC and Big 12 conference games in which he didn’t have the luxury of telling Cam Newton, “Here’s the ball. Go do anything you want.”
I know what you’re thinking: “Georgia’s going to let down.”
Not this time. Too much at stake: The SEC East and a trip to the Georgia Dome. That’s reality, not an electoral projection.
If the Bulldogs can just keep Mark Richt off a swing set, they should be fine.
The line is a whopper: 15½. But it’s covered. Division, ho!
You contest (and Lane Kiffin) update
The wit and wisdom of Mr. Burns (whiny SEC fan?)
OLD SCHOOL
Just trying to help Curry with a little zen rock garden.
Georgia Tech at North Carolina: The Jackets are 1-0 without athletic director Dan Radakovich. See, I’m all about the positive. It was either that or point out Tech’s four wins have come over 2-9 Presbyterian and three ACC teams with a combined conference record of 4-12. Oops. Heels win, but take Tech and 9.
Georgia State at Maine: Not saying Bill Curry has had a rough season, but last week he inadvertently turned in an organ-donation card instead of a lineup card. A Zen moment: A career-ending win for Curry.
Texas A&M at Alabama: The disingenuous Nick Saban says no-huddle, spread offenses like A&M’s are a danger to player safety. Let me translate: “If they go too fast and I can’t rotate my three-deep, five-star, winded front seven, there’s a chance I might lose. And another thing, Sumlin: Get off of my lawn!” Tide win, but give me the Aggies and 14.
How about Dooley vs. Saban in a Zoolander-esque "Walk-off."
Arkansas at South Carolina: Too bad it’s not Bobby Petrino vs. Steve Spurrier or we could’ve had “The Moral Compass Bowl.” Jimmy Johnson actually said Arkansas should rehire Petrino. Question: Is he willing to bankroll the university for all future sexual-harassment lawsuits? Yeah. Didn’t think so. Roosters cover 14.
Missouri at Tennessee: Derek Dooley was depicted in “art work” on UT’s painted rock again, this time as “Doolander” (as in, “Zoolander”). With all of that creativity on campus, you’d think somebody could draw up a play. Finally, an SEC win: Vols cover 3½.
Mississippi State at LSU: Les Miles is a great coach when he’s not trying to pull a moose out of a hat (cue: Bullwinkle). Tigers win, but take the other Dogs and 14½.
Les Miles reaching into his playbook
NFL SNACK PACK
"So are we going to carpool to work next year?"
Falcons at Saints: The Saints have stabilized since an 0-4 start. That’s not to say they’re going to make the playoffs, but at least linebacker Curtis Lofton isn’t stabbing himself with a fork in the middle of the night, screaming, “What have I done!?!”By the way, what’s Sean Payton doing with a Dallas tags on his car? Falcons cover 2½.
Cowboys at Eagles: Jerry Jones the owner said he would fire Jerry Jones the general manager, but then Jerry Jones the deluded poobah most responsible for the Cowboys’ mess said he won’t strip himself of personnel duties. The good news: With one playoff win in 15 years, he has the full support of 31 other owners. Eagles win (and take the 1).
Texans at Bears: Houston strikes me as one of those really good teams that will never do anything in the playoffs. Then again, the Bears have Jay Cutler. Winner: Texans (take the 1).
Broncos at Panthers: Since those three quick interceptions against the Falcons, Peyton Manning has thrown 18 touchdowns and three picks. It’s all in the timing. Denver covers.
It’s Jerry Jones, starring as “Dark Helmet” (”Spaceballs”)
BUT WHO’S COUNTING? (ME)
Last week: 8-3 straight up, 7-4 against the line.
So far, so awesome: 86-26 straight up, 66-45-1 against the line.
“Sack Schultz” update: “JoeB1515″ and “Rayne09″ lead the race for the Georgia-Georgia Tech tickets and other prizes. “Wildone” leads for the trip to Hawaii. Lucky dude Brad Sawyer of Stockbridge who went 14-1 last week to win a Marlow’s giftcard and a Fathead.
Lilly Pick of the Week: It’s Falcons-Saints week. Cheeseballs were placed on pictures of the two quarterbacks, Matt Ryan and Drew Brees. Lilly puts her 5-4 record on the line. The winner: Brees.
Lilly is an Atlanta native but she has no allegiances to Falcons. Clearly.
By Jeff Schultz
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362 comments Add your comment
Progress
November 8th, 2012
10:50 pm
Come back when you learn to write in English and then I’ll give you another thrashing.
Skeptic
November 8th, 2012
10:57 pm
Wow. redneckredneckredneck. They censored that word out over on Segura’s blog.
Claiming that I’m a ‘Southern Yeoman’ just didn’t have the same pizazz.
Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.
November 8th, 2012
11:01 pm
Redneck is the same as the N-word
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
11:02 pm
Progress the redneck slayer, lol. What a zero. Don’t think I’ll ever recover from laughing so hard…
Skeptic
November 8th, 2012
11:11 pm
Why do you all argue over the internet? The dynamic is always the same: try to bring a case that makes the other party shut up. But you will never legally make anyone shut up unless they are being unlawful. The shout shows and the Borgosphere (twitter, facebook, smart phones, to some extent the internet itself) has enabled and amplified this. It even allowed me to pontificate in this post. You just used 20 sec of your life reading this, when you should be asleep.
Is anybody going deer hunting this weekend? Where is the http://blogs.ajc.com/deer-buster-blog/?cp page?
Dawg Whisperer
November 8th, 2012
11:23 pm
Jeff, you forgot to include California in your dissing list. The land of fruits and nuts just matured and needs harvesting again. No worries mate, there always seems to be another crop waiting in the wings.
Californians apparently weren’t paying attention during Math class since they can’t seem to balance their budget which also explains why they always vote Democrat. Democrats still believe that a dollar borrowed and paid back by Republicans is good politics.
Surf’s up dude. As Griz was fond of saying, Delta is ready when you are. Don’t forget your speedo, you’ll need it on the Big Sur.
JS S
November 8th, 2012
11:42 pm
@ Jeff Schultz…
LMAO!
Did you see the Daniel Day-Lewis one channeling my old boss? Lookup Lewis acceptance speech at BAFTA…
JS S
November 8th, 2012
11:47 pm
Somewhere Tennessee Williams is reading Kingdaddy and thinking “thank heaven I’m dead!”
Zombie blogging!
Landslide
November 9th, 2012
12:19 am
Romney can now move to the Cayman Islands and count his money.
Festus
November 9th, 2012
12:51 am
If Auburn beats Georgia and Alabama will Gene Czzz keep his job?
Thomas Brown
November 9th, 2012
2:16 am
_______________________________________________________________
TB u forget that we moved to # 2 in the BCS in 2007 & we still didnt play for NC
_______________________________________________________________
Patched Tire On I-95 in Jacksonville November 8th, 2012 9:07 am
“Thomas Brown You forget that we moved to # 2 in the BCS in 2007 and we still didnt play for the NC Do you seriously think if those teams are still undefeated we are getting into the NC game? Keep dreaming”
_____________________________________
No, we were NOT # 2 in the BCS in 2007. You are just wrong. LSU beat 2 teams 2007 who made the AP Poll Top 10 while we beat 0 teams 2007 who made the AP Poll Top 10; and, so LSU for the national championship, because in The SEC Championship Game they were # 3 in the BCS Standings and WON the SEC Championship Game and got the BUMP-up to from # 3 to # 2, while UGA did not win The SEC Championship Game sitting at home watching as we dropped from # 4 to # 5 in the BCS Standings. It is a perfect example of ONE SCENARIO which is out there and that is that at # 4 at SEC Championship Game time, should we beat Alabama which you said yourself is possible with these players 2012 on our team, we could get the BUMP-up from # 4 to # 2 and make the game. Yes, I seriously think that wins then in that scenario over # 2 Florida and # 1 Alabama is worth the BUMP-up to # 2, if Oregon and Notre Dame remain undefeated (or Kansas State whom I say loses as Bill Snyder always has.) I firmly believe that the PAC-12 will have only 2 other ranked teams and that they both finish the season about # 21 and # 23.
Here is how I seriously actually see the final polls 2012 :
# 24 Choklahoma
# 21 Stanford
# 23 Southern California
# 21 Stanford who lost to 5-4 Washington already & not assured winning any of their last 3 games
Stanford could end up with 6-Loss Season including a bowl loss. That’s what Stanford is.
# 24 Choklahoma could easily end up a 5-Loss Season including annual bowl loss as always, Choklahoma could end up barely, if at all, in any top 25 poll. Choklahoma has played 2 teams and LOST BOTH, and has 2 more teams to play, both of whom could beat them obviously since they have no credence 2012 having beat no one, and we all know Choklahoma will most likely as always lose its bowl game.
# 23 Southern California already has 3 losses including to a LOUSY UNRANKED 5-4 Arizona team who has LOST to EVERYONE. Southern California could easily lose 2 more games to Notre Dame and to Oregon a 2nd time to end up with 5-Losses before a bowl; that is if Southern California can even play in a bowl game this season, or if they are still banned from bowl games under Lame Kitten or whatever his name is now letting air out of balls paying a $ 25,000 fine today and saying he knew nothing about it. You believe that ?
As a matter of fact, in order for both Oregon and Notre Dame to remain undefeated in your ONLY scenario you will allow to be discussed, Southern California MUST be a 5-Loss team before they have any possible bowl game. 6-Loss Southern Cal season if they play a good team in a bowl game, obviously. And, yet the PAC-12 was SAID TO BE GREAT 2012 because Southern California started the season # 1. For your only scenario you will allow to be discussed, this former # 1 PAC-12 team this season MUST have 5-Loss Season before the bowl season.
Yet, your theory is that having
# 23 Southern California
# 21 Stanford
as the only 2 other ranked PAC-12 teams, makes those GREAT WINS to compare with :
# 2 Florida
# 1 Alabama
If you really believe that, you’ve got a flat tire still somewhere holding you back.
_______________________________________________________________
TB u forget that we moved to # 2 in the BCS in 2007 & we still didnt play for NC
_______________________________________________________________
That is whole ENTIRE POINT, we did NOT move to # 2 in the BCS in 2007, but were # 4 before The SEC Championship Game and DROPPED to # 5 after The SEC Championship Game because we did not play in it, while LSU who beat 2 teams who made the AP Poll Top 10 in 2007 (We beat 0 who made the AP Poll Top 10 in 2007 by STARK CONTRAST.) got a
BUMP-up
And, Jumped-up from # 3 to # 2 and into the BCS Title Game.
LSU was # 2 in the BCS Rankings 2007, NOT Georgia as you erroneously state. For you to have this argument that only your scenario can be discussed, the very crux of it is that in 2007 LSU got the
JUMP-UP
BUMP-UP
from # 3 to # 2 and thusly into the Title Game and thus LSU 2007 beat 2 teams making the Top 10 while we beat 0.
That is whole entire point I-95. And, you run in here and tell me that I cannot say that there ALSO is this scenario out there on November 9 where UGA could get a
BUMP-UP
JUMP-UP
from # 4 to # 2 by winning The SEC Championship, while Oregon, Kansas State and Notre Dame have at BEST a # 21, # 23 or # 24 team as their “BEST WIN compared to our
BEST WINS UGA 2012 in scenario YOU WANT TO DISCUSS WITH ME :
# 2 Florida
# 1 Alabama
_______________________________________________________________
TB u forget that we moved to # 2 in the BCS in 2007 & we still didnt play for NC
_______________________________________________________________
retired
November 9th, 2012
3:20 am
Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.
November 8th, 2012
12:57 pm
Vick over the Cowboys? JEFF must have made a fast flight to Colorado for that pick.
If you have a job be happy and Hope that doesn’t Change real soon but don’t count on IT.
The US is moving FORWARD to the Financial Cliff….Our Debt is now more than our GDP and the Dept Limit is coming up soon……LEARN Chinese…..I am sure The COUNT will start teaching the kids how to count in Chinese.
Your an idiot Go suck Carl Rove’s Toes
Buckeye
November 9th, 2012
7:03 am
I suspect Caleb just blew his chances to be enshrined in the anals of GAC football
One fine dog
Sad
Lamont
November 9th, 2012
7:29 am
joja boi, I am no karl Rove or Dick Morris, but will bet you, if you had a brain, that after 4 years of this nothing we have re-elected, that you will pass on any more kool-aid and quit the choir. Take that to the ban podner and the rest of you standing around with your cracks visible waiting for the man and his freebies. The money is about gone-you are going to have to get a job and you will be glad to take any job.
Larry
November 9th, 2012
7:29 am
You’re a good writer, Schultz – in sports. Leave the political BS out of your essays. The fact that this country is doomed tends to depress some of us.
Hysterical Right Wing Old Angry Republican
November 9th, 2012
7:39 am
Sarah Palin in 2016!!!!!
Lamont
November 9th, 2012
7:39 am
The election and re-election of Obama seals the doom of this country. His election in the first place was a national disgrace. We had a chance to elect someone capable of getting this old sow out of the mud, but too many standing around waiting on their GUVMENT checks. But for me this country can now take a long hike off a short pier. it is now all about me and mine. Let the end come, I no longer give a big rat’s arse. Sour grapes-no this is not GT and the Dawgs-this was about saving our country. And the idiots nad morons of this divided coungtry couldn’t se it. TOO BAD< TOO BAD
Tomás Broun
November 9th, 2012
7:42 am
Awbarn 24, Georgia 20
Braves Boi
November 9th, 2012
7:46 am
You’re really going out on a limb with that Auburn prediction. Hope you don’t lose your job over that one. Duh.
retired
November 9th, 2012
7:54 am
“Your an idiot”
Dang, I sure wish I knew the difference between “you’re” and “your”.
Dang, who is the idiot here?
T. Payne
November 9th, 2012
7:55 am
The fact that this country is doomed tends to depress some of us.
Yes it does, and fifty million left-wing idiots like Schultz are the reason. The deadbeats and morons now control this country.
Nixon Supporter & Republican Since 1956
November 9th, 2012
8:02 am
Gosh, I just read that 20th century dinosaurs like me will be a minority in this country by 2020.
Bo Duke
November 9th, 2012
8:16 am
delete my comment?
you are more of a mushy lib lab than i thought possible.
just can’t face the truth can you?
Bo Duke
November 9th, 2012
8:22 am
Seeing as how the sports world already has Tony Kornheiser what purpose is it that you actually serve.??
53½ arrests in four years
November 9th, 2012
8:28 am
Another arrest for Caleb King, the poster child for all the thugs that Saint Mark has recruited.
Jason
November 9th, 2012
8:30 am
Nice an act of war committed against us last week and this corrupt admin says nothing. Then we have the libya cover up. Most corrupt admin ever. Can’t say i’m surprised when that pos valerie jarret is from iran. Who knew that!! But yeah JS, that karl rove is evil. Stupid puta pendejo. The downfall of this country has started. I just hope it’s the libs who get hurt the most.
Jason
November 9th, 2012
8:32 am
Act of war happened last week and this admin says nothing. Nice. yes Iran tried to shoot down one of our drones. And of course the
lib ya cover up. And jarret being born in ir an. Nice. Idiots who voted for this crap corrupt admin.
kingdaddy
November 9th, 2012
8:44 am
J JS
Somewhere Tennessee Williams is reading kingdaddy and thinking ” Thank heaven I’m dead! “…
What a snarky, elitist thing to say. As a libtard, I’m supprised you even think he’s in heaven, lol. I am impressed you think e would be staying up at night reading kingdaddy, LMAOFF, that’s a stretch, but I will say T.W. probably doesn’t read much since he’s been dead for 100 years, lol. You must think other posters will find you “cultured” because you read “Cliff Notes” to T.W.s plays. What a joke. You probably go to a lot of Whine & cheese parties too. I may not be as “Cultured” as you, because I’m honest and find his writing boring and stuffy, sorta like your elitist, snarky crap…Trying to make fun of people you don’t think are as smart as you, just shows your own smallness and insufferable ignorance. I’m sure you’re the life of the party, LOL…
Rodster
November 9th, 2012
8:56 am
I’m sure CHOKE voted for Obama.
Thomas Brown
November 9th, 2012
8:59 am
DawgNole November 8th, 2012 5:54 pm
“You spent most of the season before the UGA-fla game berating the gators as unworthy and insisting that they would “lose four or five games in 2012.” Now you want to sing their praises? By the way, how did that prediction work out for you?”
_____________________________________________
DawgNole September 2nd, 2012 9:59 pm
“Well, you can bet your azz they didn’t change College Game Day to College Station as a direct result of fla’s spirited effort yesterday.”
________________________________________________
DawgNole September 2nd, 2012 10:40 pm
“Tampa Gator says if you “take away” fla’s 14 penalities [SIC], they beat the crap out of BG. So what? You CAN”T [SIC] take stuff away once it’s done, so quit talkin’ about it. Just go out and win the damn games.”
______________________________________________
DawgNole September 3rd, 2012 4:30 pm
“Tampa Gator, I wouldn’t call 27-14 at home vs BG anything to get excited about. Even less impressive than UGA’s on-again off-again domination of Buffalo.”
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________
“JURY REMAINS OUT ON WILL MUSCHAMP AND FLORIDA”
“GAMEDAY NOT TEXAS A M CUZ OF SPIRITED FL VS BG”
“FLORIDA LESS IMPRESSIVE VS BG THAN GA VS BUFFALO”
“CAN’T TAKE AWAY 14 PENALTIES FLORIDA VS BG”
“FL VS BG DIDN’T SHOW US ANYTHING GET EXCITED ABOUT”
YOU CANNOT EVEN SPELL PENALTIES & USE QUOTE MARKS FOR APOSTROPHE
DawgNole November 8th, 2012 5:54 pm
“I don’t know who the “real” TB is–and could care less. I do know that the one I’ve repeatedly beaten down on these blogs for his lies, fabrications, and distortions is YOU. Like I said a long time ago, you’re way out of your league butting heads with me, mouth-breather, and you continue to prove it with every post.”
____________________________________
Are these your quotes, or not son ?
legionaire
November 9th, 2012
9:00 am
Since Schultzie thought it hilarious to point out Republican whining reaction to a lost election, it surely slipped his mind when Al Gore and the DNC took the Florida 2000 vote to the Supreme Court and still lost.They still bitch about it. Schultzie’s dig at Fox Anchors is justified only if he can swear he has never once watched Stephanopolis, Schieffer, Laurer, or Al Sharpton. For every Karl Rove, the dems have a Howard Dean. Tit fot tat. Bama fans may believe the SEC Championship has been decreed for them. From what I saw in the LSU game the fat animals were damn lucky to have won it. The refs obviously were in the tank for bama, 1 penalty for 15 yards and LSU gets nailed for 100 yards, give me a break. And they still have to get past the turkey buzzards. Punt bama punt.
Alphare
November 9th, 2012
9:02 am
Auburn is now an enraged beast whose HC is about to lose his job.
Look out, UGA, if you think you will pick up an easy roadkill.
kingdaddy fan
November 9th, 2012
9:03 am
kingdaddy, that’s the way to tell him! tell ya what, you bring over a jumbo bag of pork skins and we’ll sit out on my front porch and watch my new bug zapper go to work!
kingdaddy
November 9th, 2012
9:04 am
Jeff
I enjoy you’re great stories. You put a lot of effort and humor into your articles and I look forward to each and every one. If I don’t like something, I skip over it. Its no big deal. So far in America, you don’t have to read something you don’t like at gunpoint (unless you’re in school or for work) . I am thankful to be able to read and also to read what I like. I may not be as intelligent as some of your blog posters, but I live life to the fullest, have raised two wonderful boys and am enjoying a beautiful grand-daughter. Part of living life to the fullest is participating in your blog. Hope you enjoy some of our post like we enjoy your articles…
America spoke
November 9th, 2012
9:13 am
America is getting younger, browner and more gay! Your old, white “Father Knows Best” world is fading – and deservedly so! Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend a hand for the times they are a-changing!
Oh, and Go Dawgs, Falcons and Jackets.
bamaguy
November 9th, 2012
9:14 am
Did any of you Dawg fans ranting on about Obama’s re-election just happen to notice that Athens-Clarke County was clearly blue on the electoral map?
On a football note. Auburn will either be sky high or even more flat on the news that their coach is about to be fired. Remember, they came close to beating LSU.
robodawg
November 9th, 2012
9:17 am
Schultz = satire. People just gotta be able to laugh at themselves.
Schultzie, you should have done that Mr. Burns dog experiment with Lily!
kingdaddy
November 9th, 2012
9:20 am
KD Fan
Is it a 110 or 220 bug-zapper?
Islett61
November 9th, 2012
9:22 am
Jimmy crack corn-it is “loses” the game. What is it with people not knowing how to speak or write English.
America spoke
November 9th, 2012
9:30 am
Islett61: Welcome south, brother (WSB)! Although, plenty of Yankees can’t write or speak in complete, correct sentences, either. If we’re so hellbent on making English our official language, I support the addendum to make CORRECT English our official language!
kingdaddy
November 9th, 2012
9:31 am
America Spoke
Be careful what you wish for. Ol white Father knows Best types probably paid for your or someone you knows education. If you treat the Presidency like a party, who’s going to clean-up after the parties over? When the rich “fat-cats” leave this country, who’s going to pay for everything you want to put on the cerdit card, you, the dead-beats? Go ahead and burn that bridge. The spigot is about to be turned off and then you’ll be back on your mom’s teat…
dARON
November 9th, 2012
9:34 am
Falcons win big, Ga blows out auburn—book it. Ga 41 auburn 13! Dogs v. Alabama—Ga pulls the upset!!!
Gary Pitts
November 9th, 2012
9:43 am
Jeff, your comments about the election were not cool. The only thing worse than a poor loser is a poor winner.
Gary Pitts
November 9th, 2012
9:44 am
Enter your comments here
Thomas Brown
November 9th, 2012
9:46 am
Allbarn is not scoring no 13 damn points.
bamaguy
November 9th, 2012
9:47 am
You dawg fans did notice that Athens-Clarke County was clearly blue on the electoral map. As are almost all university town/counties. And don’t assume these young liberals are “moochers”. I believe that kid that founded facebook is one of the richest men in America. Don’t draw parallels between being a “conservative” and being a “producer”.
kingdaddy
November 9th, 2012
9:48 am
I wish UGA was more consistant. How many games have we played hard for 60 minutes? Not enough. Even if we get by Auburn, which I believe we will, we will have to play a near perfect game to beat Bama. We can’t count on Bama having a bad game and us being able to capitalize on their mistakes. Actually, it’s just the opposite. We have to play mistake free and hope the ball bounces our way a few times to beat such a well coached team…
Thomas Brown
November 9th, 2012
9:48 am
The polls reflected that one candidate po’d every group in America, not 1 of which do I have any issue with.
Thomas Brown
November 9th, 2012
9:50 am
Yes, with our scholarship recruits down to 54 now for the Alabama game, we can ill afford to lose any more kingdaddy.
Sir Livedalot
November 9th, 2012
10:03 am
testing the waters