Predictions: This time it’s all red — Dogs, Falcons win
As we head down the stretch of this football season and attempt to answer the age-old question, “Who whines more: SEC football fans after losing a game or Republicans after losing an election?” — and this is why I always check under my car for suspicious wire before starting it — it’s time to check in on the remains of Gene Chizik.
Two years ago, Auburn won the national championship. Now the Tigers are 2-7 overall and 0-6 in the SEC.
The governors of Colorado and Washington.
Or, as Karl Rove would put it, they’re trending upward and on the verge of conquering the SEC West, the conference, the BCS, Ohio (don’t it make my red eyes blue?), Hawaii, Alaska, Manitoba, the dangling chads of Florida, the clogging anchors of Fox, the Western Hemisphere, the Eastern Bloc (Commies! We’ll hunt ‘em all down!), the Peoples Republic of Cheech and Chong (Colorado and Washington just legalized marijuana — so, yes, we have confirmation that Doritos has lobbyists) and even the educated, artistic and peaceful liberals of Alderaan (oh wait, they were destroyed by the Death Star in Episode IV. Never mind.)
Back to Gene Chizik. I’m generally not a proponent of firing coaches two years after winning national championships. But this guy is now 9-29 in SEC and Big 12 conference games in which he didn’t have the luxury of telling Cam Newton, “Here’s the ball. Go do anything you want.”
I know what you’re thinking: “Georgia’s going to let down.”
Not this time. Too much at stake: The SEC East and a trip to the Georgia Dome. That’s reality, not an electoral projection.
If the Bulldogs can just keep Mark Richt off a swing set, they should be fine.
The line is a whopper: 15½. But it’s covered. Division, ho!
You contest (and Lane Kiffin) update
The wit and wisdom of Mr. Burns (whiny SEC fan?)
OLD SCHOOL
Just trying to help Curry with a little zen rock garden.
Georgia Tech at North Carolina: The Jackets are 1-0 without athletic director Dan Radakovich. See, I’m all about the positive. It was either that or point out Tech’s four wins have come over 2-9 Presbyterian and three ACC teams with a combined conference record of 4-12. Oops. Heels win, but take Tech and 9.
Georgia State at Maine: Not saying Bill Curry has had a rough season, but last week he inadvertently turned in an organ-donation card instead of a lineup card. A Zen moment: A career-ending win for Curry.
Texas A&M at Alabama: The disingenuous Nick Saban says no-huddle, spread offenses like A&M’s are a danger to player safety. Let me translate: “If they go too fast and I can’t rotate my three-deep, five-star, winded front seven, there’s a chance I might lose. And another thing, Sumlin: Get off of my lawn!” Tide win, but give me the Aggies and 14.
How about Dooley vs. Saban in a Zoolander-esque "Walk-off."
Arkansas at South Carolina: Too bad it’s not Bobby Petrino vs. Steve Spurrier or we could’ve had “The Moral Compass Bowl.” Jimmy Johnson actually said Arkansas should rehire Petrino. Question: Is he willing to bankroll the university for all future sexual-harassment lawsuits? Yeah. Didn’t think so. Roosters cover 14.
Missouri at Tennessee: Derek Dooley was depicted in “art work” on UT’s painted rock again, this time as “Doolander” (as in, “Zoolander”). With all of that creativity on campus, you’d think somebody could draw up a play. Finally, an SEC win: Vols cover 3½.
Mississippi State at LSU: Les Miles is a great coach when he’s not trying to pull a moose out of a hat (cue: Bullwinkle). Tigers win, but take the other Dogs and 14½.
Les Miles reaching into his playbook
NFL SNACK PACK
"So are we going to carpool to work next year?"
Falcons at Saints: The Saints have stabilized since an 0-4 start. That’s not to say they’re going to make the playoffs, but at least linebacker Curtis Lofton isn’t stabbing himself with a fork in the middle of the night, screaming, “What have I done!?!”By the way, what’s Sean Payton doing with a Dallas tags on his car? Falcons cover 2½.
Cowboys at Eagles: Jerry Jones the owner said he would fire Jerry Jones the general manager, but then Jerry Jones the deluded poobah most responsible for the Cowboys’ mess said he won’t strip himself of personnel duties. The good news: With one playoff win in 15 years, he has the full support of 31 other owners. Eagles win (and take the 1).
Texans at Bears: Houston strikes me as one of those really good teams that will never do anything in the playoffs. Then again, the Bears have Jay Cutler. Winner: Texans (take the 1).
Broncos at Panthers: Since those three quick interceptions against the Falcons, Peyton Manning has thrown 18 touchdowns and three picks. It’s all in the timing. Denver covers.
It’s Jerry Jones, starring as “Dark Helmet” (”Spaceballs”)
BUT WHO’S COUNTING? (ME)
Last week: 8-3 straight up, 7-4 against the line.
So far, so awesome: 86-26 straight up, 66-45-1 against the line.
“Sack Schultz” update: “JoeB1515″ and “Rayne09″ lead the race for the Georgia-Georgia Tech tickets and other prizes. “Wildone” leads for the trip to Hawaii. Lucky dude Brad Sawyer of Stockbridge who went 14-1 last week to win a Marlow’s giftcard and a Fathead.
Lilly Pick of the Week: It’s Falcons-Saints week. Cheeseballs were placed on pictures of the two quarterbacks, Matt Ryan and Drew Brees. Lilly puts her 5-4 record on the line. The winner: Brees.
Lilly is an Atlanta native but she has no allegiances to Falcons. Clearly.
By Jeff Schultz
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362 comments Add your comment
Paul in NH
November 8th, 2012
5:15 pm
In football
Dogs over Auburn
Tarheels over Jackets
Tide over A&M
Maine over GSU – it is sleeting sideways in Orono today The Panthers will need their longjohns.
In politics
Nate Silver over Karl Rove
Reality over Dick Morris
Strife in DC over bipartisan cooperation
Jeff Schultz
November 8th, 2012
5:16 pm
wpeebles — “Worst written column I have ever had the opportunity not to read all of. Schultz is an idiot with a keyboard that doesn’t work.”
<< Worst written column that you didn’t read? LIAR!
Joey
November 8th, 2012
5:23 pm
joja boi, yes the employee pays in over 7.5% in those taxes. But so does the employer. Every penny the employee pays in, the employer matches. Plus state unemployment.
Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.
November 8th, 2012
5:33 pm
JEFF you shouldn’t have described one of the COX families Cars…..next time Describd BRADLEY’S car and give the TAG #. LOL
Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.
November 8th, 2012
5:37 pm
Dawglasville
November 8th, 2012
4:41 pm
Put in – It is a Christian based school and I know where this is headed. When the Armed Services, FBI, CIA fails or has a bad showing no one screams to……………………………………………………..
No you don’t know where it was going. I find it ODD Christians are DEMs. The Democrats have and continue to eliminate every Christian value the US has. They are not a friend to GOD imo and they PREACH the government is our new god.
Northern Sympathizer
November 8th, 2012
5:43 pm
Classic article as always. Keep the commentary coming.
Got a bad feeling about them tigers though.
Wet Willie...keep on smiling
November 8th, 2012
5:43 pm
Bama covers because it must. We got lucky last week.
UGA covers easyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…gene fired after the game (he’s already fired just so you know)
There will never be a repub elected as president again in this country for it’s over. The trash have more votes than the sane. Remove anybody on welfare from being able to cast a vote and we get things back on track but then again the dems in 65 setup the greatest scam of all time. What the repubs should do is just not run for any offices for say 10 years and let the commies run it right into the ground. Then they can return and fix things. Think about this…Ohio,New Jersey,Michigan,and Wisconsin(twice) all elected Repub govs to fix the shat left behind by the liberal hacks before them yet those same folks voted for obama! right …you can’t fix stupid.
Jeff enjoy the moment sport but don’t look at your 401k results over these past two days since obammy was granted a redo. 3+% loss over the last two days and 400 points.
Wet Willie...keep on smiling
November 8th, 2012
5:47 pm
The stock market is all happy about the boy wonder…400 points in two days. I guess you don’t have a 401k …
Dewnsav
November 8th, 2012
5:52 pm
Chris Matthews help you with the first part Jeff ?? Alphare, go back to watching MSNBC…
Joey
November 8th, 2012
5:54 pm
Wet Willie, this is just day 2 . . .
bamaguy
November 8th, 2012
5:56 pm
If we are going to mix politics with college football how about this one. How much will the student mini-riot at Ole Miss Tuesday night following Obama’s re-election hurt their recruitment of black athletes?
WSJ
November 8th, 2012
6:00 pm
On Inauguration Day in 2001 the DJIA was over 10,000
On Inauguration Day in 2009 the DJIA was under 7,000
The market did much better under Obama than under Bush
Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.
November 8th, 2012
6:01 pm
Who needs MONEY?…………….I’m going to start growing POT…….I can get anything with POT and it is easier than mining GOLD.
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
6:06 pm
I’m moving back to the mountains. Better homegrown…
bamaguy
November 8th, 2012
6:12 pm
I wonder how the mini-riot on the Ole Miss campus following the president’s re-election will play out in regard to the recruitment of black athletes? Now that is mixing sports with politics!
Skeptic
November 8th, 2012
6:19 pm
No pot in the mountains; satellite imagery picks it up. Now you have a bunch of meth-heads.
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
6:20 pm
With the MSMedia, all the moron moviestars and rockstars, most all minorities and a boatload of women, BigDummies majority still was just around 50%. Funny how taxpayers end up being on the losing end. You are penalized for working hard and doing good and awarded for being a POS. I’M going to enjoy watching how this gameplan turns out…
BTW….Lilly gets a rolled up newspaper…make that three rolled up newspapers. What did you do to her, she was such a good girl at one time. World is going to hell in a handbag, whatever that means…
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
6:24 pm
Skeptic
Not true bro. Sats. got better things to do than search for dopes. Not saying they can’t, saying they don’t. They never bothered anybody I know, just saying…
Charles(Chuck) Barkley is Smart
November 8th, 2012
6:29 pm
Now Chuck looks like a genuis, and Gene just looks..at the awful mess you call Auburn. 9-29 In SEC and Big 12 play since Cam/ Scam/Pay me Newton went and made people in Carolina wealthier.People don’t like Chuck, and Barry Bonds either because there to arrogant strong Black Men who had white women. Well o.k. White Men& Black Women are mad, everybody else don’t care. Now back to the reality that is Auburn, this is not your year, and sure won’t be your weekend. Your running into a Georgia team that needs to win to disspell the lie that they can’t be ALABAMA STATE CHAMPIONS, and you guys are merely in the way. Gene, it’s been nice, and who knows Kentucky may let you in, but after this weekend at your house, it’ll be apparent you run nothing. But hey AU fans Chuck told you, and everybody knows Chuck tells it as he see’s it. UGA BY 20!!
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
6:30 pm
Jeff
Straight-ups not to bad, but what’s up with the line? You’re still guessing better than me, but I don’t make a living doing doing this…
Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.
November 8th, 2012
6:36 pm
KingDaddy….I thought some of the GEECHEE Stuff was good. The Salt and Sand not good for the Home Grown? LOL
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
6:36 pm
UGA doesn’t get comfortable until late in the third. Look for another thrashing of the Dawgs and Richt &Co. by the haters and nerds, until then. Every week the same thing. We start slow, and the moron’s shout “Off with their heads! ”
Trust me, it will happen…again…
Dewnsav
November 8th, 2012
6:37 pm
I just hope when the money runs out/becomes worthless, the mobs will go after the one’s in the media and political arena who have perpetuated the lie…go dogs
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
6:40 pm
SMART
LOL, it’s too acidic down here. Too much work to neutralize the soil. Easier in the hollars…
Coordinate This:
November 8th, 2012
6:41 pm
Ever since Coach Mike Smith got rid of Brian VanGorder and Mike Mularkey, the Falcons are undefeated.
The Auburn Tigers are 0-6 in the SEC, 2-7 overall.
The Jacksonville Jaguars are 1-7.
Skeptic
November 8th, 2012
6:44 pm
kingdaddy
Sorry, man, you’re wrong. Don’t ask how I know this.
You can google-earth yourself, and even without all the high-level accesses the agencies have, I bet you can read your car’s license plate with it.
Many municipalities don’t even have code enforcement patrols anymore; they just contract imagery and send an officer when needed. Try to build something in your backyard and you’ll find out.
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
November 8th, 2012
6:47 pm
odd & funny to see Willie M now the secondary coach at Auburn. What was UGA thinking all those years?
Dogs & Falcons roll baby!!
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
6:48 pm
Dewnsav
they are still blaming GW. The mobs are mindless sheeple easily misled by Mega-rich Moviestars, Uber-rich Pop-stars and academia. Watch Greece and other broke countries for a preview ofour future. It’s insane…
Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.
November 8th, 2012
6:51 pm
Skeptic………….you make it sound too easy…..If it were so easy then there wouldn’t be GROW HOUSES either cause all you have to do is a Thermal Scan……but they find grow house by MISTAKE all the time. I think you watch too much CSI and crap like that. MOONSHINE smells and easy to detect but they still keep making it all the time.
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
6:52 pm
Skeptic
if you read what I said, they don’t bother with it. Plenty of local gets through… all over the country. I know they can see, they just don’t care…
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
7:01 pm
Google earth will only come in so far for non-professionals. LOL, plenty of fine ladies sunbathing behind privacy fences. Bet :he professionals get an eye-full. Many movie-starlets letting it all hangout around their pools
Skeptic
November 8th, 2012
7:04 pm
I don’t watch TV anymore, except for football. I’m just drawing on personal experience and on what I’ve heard has happened.
I guess it depends on your locality as to what extent you are survielled (sp?). I don’t have building code where I live, but if I build a barn or something waaaaayy in the back where you can’t even see it, I still get a tax bill right on time for it, with the exact dimensions listed. And it’s not just code, people get busted in my area for drugs on the feed all the time.
My point is these days you are in no way hidden or anonymous. “Resistance is futile,” saith the Borg.
DP
November 8th, 2012
7:10 pm
Jeff Schultz, of course Jimmy Johnson would be a big fan of Bobby Petrino. I can’t believe you didn’t make the connection.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lCku52Y_YE
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
7:10 pm
Jeff
Sorry bro. I know you aren’t crazy about poly-ticks, but you brought Karl Rove and Fox News into the blog…
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
7:14 pm
Skept
“FEAR IS THE MIND-KILLER!” Frank Herbert…Dune…
DP
November 8th, 2012
7:18 pm
There was more time, effort and wit in this column than in a month of Mark Bradley’s. Not surprising that it would put some Teatard panties in a wad.
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
7:26 pm
A supporter of fiscal austerity is a tard. Right, spoken like a true taker…
Ernmeister
November 8th, 2012
7:27 pm
I would be in 1st in the Sack Shultz thingie, but I didn’t want to take the chance of getting the Georgia Tech tickets. So I’m very content with my mid-500 placement.
Boo Boo
November 8th, 2012
7:31 pm
I watch Revolution on NBC and I’m moving to the Georgia Federation after the United States fails, when the power goes off.
DP
November 8th, 2012
7:36 pm
Kingdaddy, we don’t need fiscal austerity. As Dick Cheney said in 2002, Reagan taught us deficits don’t matter. At least as long as it is a Republican running them up and not a Democrat.
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
7:39 pm
Jon Stewert called non-libtards The Confederacy (codeword for racist) …
BTW, my church is racially split 50/50…I’m in one of those majorities, lol…
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
7:43 pm
DP
spoken like a non-taxpayer who doesn’t care about anything but himself…
Alphare
November 8th, 2012
7:51 pm
In the last 100 years, stock performs better under Dem than Repub.
I am 90% out now. Once bottom is reached, I will be fully in for another good run.
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
7:52 pm
Now you’re a Dick (Darth Vader) Cheney fan. Your idiot has run up more debt in 4 years than all of GWs 8 years and look where it has gotten us. You got kids? Think about them and how much they will owe in another four years. Poor people always pay the most in the long run. Gas going up, food going up and paychecks going to be smaller. You voted him in…live with it. I am a survivor…
Class of '98
November 8th, 2012
7:58 pm
Ten years ago Weekend Predictions was funny and edgy. Now it’s just stupid. Couldn’t find another reason to imbed a link to “Monty Python’s Holy Grail” this week, Jeff?
It used to be Gators, Gators, Gators, now it’s stale, stale, stale.
DP
November 8th, 2012
8:01 pm
Kingdaddy, not that I’d expect you to understand this point, but when Bush 43 became President he didn’t inherit an exploding deficit and a depression like he handed to Obama. Not that I think much of Obama, who is a lot closer to Bush 43 and Romney in his policies than he is to the socialist the teatards/dittoheads pretend he is.
Dean21
November 8th, 2012
8:01 pm
kingdaddy……Read below if you can:
First of all, it appears you are worried about your kids now; I bet you were not concerned at all during Bush 8 years of terror on this county and how we stayed at war…nah, no big deal to you huh?
Second of all; this is a football/sport blog, so take your pity party some where else and since GA is a red state, you don’t have to look far!
Third of all, if you dislike this country so much now, Delta flies every minute, please help yourself to a friendly ticket and flight to another country where dictatorship rules!
Alphare
November 8th, 2012
8:10 pm
Kingdaddy, all those money mostly went to people in Ohio and Michigan. They are not poor in case you don’t know.
Of course, without those money, folks in Ohio and Michigan would be begging now. That’s why they voted for Dem this time. In case you don’t know, folks in Ohio and Michigan are whiter than you since you have been in the southern sun for too long. LOL.
I have no problem giving people a few bucks when they are in need. I know you are stinky, but keep the idea to yourself so that others can keep up the generosity spirit.
kingdaddy
November 8th, 2012
8:12 pm
Dean
oooouuuu, you really told me didn’t you. Another non-taxpayer living off the government. You idiots called BUSH EVERYTHING BUT A CHILD OF GOD! Enjoy your payback. At least most Tea-partiers pay their own way and don’t sponge off the taxpayer. Sell your vote Dean???
Dawglasville
November 8th, 2012
8:15 pm
Put in – Now we get real sticky. There are Christians who are Democrats who actually take these preachings to heart: The Gospels, The Beatitudes, if you want to be first, you have to be last, even the Son of Man came to serve and ransom his life for all. There are Christians who put love before judgement and let God handle the judgement part of it. Just because the Christian Right is the loudest doesn’t mean they represent me or my families faith. Now, I know that there will be a line forming to tell me that I am not a Christian, but I hope that the readers who follow this blog realize that the loudest ones yelling don’t represent the majority of the Christian faith. So by all means, let your conscience be your guide if you want to further drive a wedge between those who may want to know what Christianity is all about.