Predictions: Smelly, incompetent, soft Bullldogs win again
According to legend, and also Wikipedia, my two favorite sources when I have other things to do, the expression, “Eureka!” dates to the Greek scholar Archimedes, who noticed that when he stepped into a bathtub the water level rose and he exclaimed, “Eureka!” because, I dunno, “Wow,” just didn’t sound scholarly. Archimedes then continued this research into volume by seeing what would happen if he sat in a hot tub with five co-eds from Palermo State, but that didn’t work out so good, he lost his grant and now can be found teaching sociology at junior college in Poughkeepsie.
So last week, Georgia punched Florida in the mouth, and I’m certain I heard Mark Richt exclaim, “Eureka! No more Mr. Nice Guy!” See, because I’m sure the Bulldogs played tough because they were angry at being called “soft” by teammate Shawn Williams.
So coddling days are over. This week Richt called in appropriate inspirational speakers to address his players:
"Bring me the broomstick of Nick Saban!"
Oz: “You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of collagenous junk!”
Lucky Day (Three Amigos): “You sons of a Motherless Goat.”
Alexandra (Witches of Eastwick): “You’re physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell.”
Groucho Marx: “Now there’s a man with an open mind. You can feel the breeze from here.”
Nino (New Jack City): “Sit your $5 (butt) down before I make change.”
Principal (Billy Madison): “At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul.”
Cyril Bench (Vertical Limit): “100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?”
French Soldier (Monty Python and the Holy Grail): “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.”
There. That should do it.
The SEC East title gets a little closer. Georgia covers 14 against Mississippi.
Sack Schultz video update (with special guest Steve Spurrier)
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This never gets old
Getting some requests for this also, so …
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SCHOOL DAZE
An SEC first: a shirt to commemorate win over Kentucky.
Georgia Tech at Maryland: Last man out, don’t forget to turn out the light. Dan Radakovich left two days after the Jackets couldn’t score an offensive touchdown against BYU. Coincidence? OK, maybe. But if they can’t beat a Maryland team down to its No. 5 quarterback (a converted linebacker), Paul Johnson may be sitting alone in the dark. Jackets cover 7½.
Old Dominion at Georgia State: The Panthers kicked off a player, Isaiah Howard, who had ripped athletic director Cheryl Levick on Twitter. Fortunately, Howard already had an offer from Mensa. Old Dominion by two touchdowns.
Alabama at LSU: Alabama has won eight games by an average score of 41-8. A.J. McCarron: 18 TDs, 0 interceptions. So oddsmaker R.J. Bell of Pregame.com decided to set odds on how the
Gene Chizik (after the A&M game).
Tide would do against the worst NFL team. Pointspread: Jacksonville would be favored by 24. Question: Has he seen Mike Mularkey call plays? Bama covers 9½.
Missouri at Florida: Missouri commemorated its first SEC win like it was a moon landing. The T-shirt reads, “Oct. 27, 2012, Columbia, Mo: Caged the Cats!” Would’ve gone over better if it wasn’t Kentucky. Mizzou took so much flak that the shirt is off the market. But Kentucky is selling shirts that read, “Somebody made a shirt about us.” Gators cover 17.
Texas A&M at Mississippi State: Texas A&M didn’t make a T-shirt to commemorate its 63-21 win over Auburn last week. But I think somebody came home with Gene Chizik’s shorts. Aggies cover 6½.
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MAPQUESTING BOURBON ST.
Turns out Tony Romo has been using the wrong arm.
America’s Meltdown at Falcons: The Falcons (7-0) probably aren’t a threat to the ‘72 Dolphins. Tony Romo (13 interceptions) probably isn’t a threat to George Blanda (season-record 42). But I’m starting to wonder about both. Dallas has one win in the last four and that came over Carolina, which doesn’t really count. Make that 8-0: Falcons cover 4.
Eagles at Saints: Suspended linebacker Jonathan Vilma and assistant coach Joe Vitt returned to the Saints last week and the team lost 34-14 to Denver. This is what it looked like when Custer rallied his troops. Take the 3 — and Eagles in a straight upset.
Broncos at Bengals: Points to ex-Techie Demaryius
Bey Bey picks Roger Goodell's least favorite costume.
Thomas, who dressed as an NFL replacement official on Halloween. Wonder if Roger Goodell dressed up as a visionary? Denver covers 3½.
Steelers at Giants: This game is expected to go on despite the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. Steelers fans are upset because Troy Polamalu is out again. Somehow, I don’t sense the same level of compassion. New York covers 3½.
Panthers at Redskins: DeAngelo Hall last week went cuckoo on a referee, got hit with two unsportsmanlike-conduct penalties, was ejected from the game and generally looked like the same overrated, petulant phoney we’ve come to mock. But hey, for $55 million, he puts on a show! Skins win, but take Carolina and 3½.
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D-Hall continuing to make friends
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TIME TO SETTLE UP
“There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: Go there with a large one.” — Jack Yelton
Last week: 8-4 straight up, 8-4 against the line.
Where’s my commission? 79-23 straight up, 59-41-2 against the line.
Lilly Pick of the Week: The pup did something I didn’t last week: She picked Georgia. Evened her record at 4-4. This week, it was Alabama or LSU. Winner of the Cookie Chase: Alabama.
Lilly seemed to have some second thoughts while eating the Alabama cookie.
By Jeff Schultz
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227 comments Add your comment
Thomas Brown
November 2nd, 2012
11:30 am
GTBob,
It’s not that difficult. You said # 14 or # 15. Fine. List the teams ahead of them ? How hard can it be to list the teams better than Florida since you specfically state they are only about # 14 or # 15. List away so we can all see the teams who are better than Florida making them # 14 or # 15 ?
Or, like everything else, as kingdaddy says to you – you are wholly unable to ?
Smooth Operator
November 2nd, 2012
11:35 am
Imagine you’re a deer. You’re prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water… BAM! A puckin bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would you give a puck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?
So what’s the point? I dunno but Falcons win big…………..!!!!
EastInfection
November 2nd, 2012
11:36 am
Buh bye Cheese Stick and take Jay with you.
Dawg Fan in AL
November 2nd, 2012
11:36 am
Hey Jeff,
How about the famous Howard Beale quote from ‘Network’ … “I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”
Thomas Brown
November 2nd, 2012
11:46 am
That’s what I love about Virginia Tech and Miami of Florida – ACC teams playing on Thursday night. Gives me the night off. I don’t even have to watch. I looked to see who the Thursday night game was. Saw it was Virginia Tech and Miami of Florida NEITHER with a winning record, and went good. I will not have to watch this one. Typical ACC teams. I remember when they added those 2 geams. Neither have ever beat a top-ranked team – never.
_____________________________________________________________
Virginia Tech vs Miami of FL Thursday night – NEITHER with winning Record
_____________________________________________________________
Don’t have to watch that game Thursday night to see who won. Who cares ?
Jimmy Crack
November 2nd, 2012
12:03 pm
Jeff, another inspirational speaker, The Grinch, was included to address the Coach to fire him up (for once)…
“You’re a foul one, Mr. Richt
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks,
Your soul is full of gunk
Mr. Ri-icht!
The three words that best describe you are as follows,
And I quote: Stink, stank, stunk!”
dARON
November 2nd, 2012
12:12 pm
mark this down—the Dogs put ole miss away early and start thinking about the only game left that matters—Alabama!!! With a couple of breaks, the dogs can upset alabama and win the SEc. Jarvis will go wild after the QB and get some sacks!
GTBob
November 2nd, 2012
12:39 pm
People from the ACC commenting on SEC football, what a joke. We know why you don’t like the SEC bob, but you should respect their dominance anyway.
I have a lot of respect for Alabama. When the rest of the SEC quits riding their coattails I will respect them also.
Smooth Operator
November 2nd, 2012
12:41 pm
Enter your comments here
GTBob
November 2nd, 2012
12:43 pm
It’s not that difficult. You said # 14 or # 15. Fine. List the teams ahead of them ?
Ok, sure. This is based on teams I think would beat them if they played tomorrow.
1. Bama
2. Oregon
3. K State
4. Notre Dame
5. Ohio St
6. Oklahoma
7. Fla St
8. Clemson
9. Stanford
10. LSU
11. USC
12. Louisiana Tech
13. West Virginia
14. Florida
I thought about including Nebraska as well but they are probably just as overrated at Florida, they just don’t have an SEC patch on their sleeves that gets them a free top 10 ranking.
DawgDad
November 2nd, 2012
1:19 pm
Enter your comments here
DawgDad
November 2nd, 2012
1:24 pm
I’m starting to wonder if Alabama could LOSE the SEC Championship and still play for the National Championship. All these poll-based rankings are just so much nonsense.
Stinger2
November 2nd, 2012
1:35 pm
Thomas Brown and GT Bob: How many posts have you made on this blog?
I am not counting but I guess it would be GTBob with the most. Glad you are having fun.
Thomas Brown
November 2nd, 2012
1:42 pm
1. Bama – beat no one of consequence yet unless you count Missy State – other than that no ranked team. Their season is ahead of them obviously.
2. Oregon – beat no one, plays no one, conference championship vs Southern Cal again with 5-Losses then ?
3. K State – beat no one, plays no one, no conference championship since 4 Big XII teams quit the stinking conference, including # 16 ranked Texas A and M and including # 20 Nebraska.
4. Notre Dame – beat no one unless you count 5-3 Michigan, plays no one, no conference championship game, just a free pass through 2012
5. Ohio St – on NCAA Probation 2012 like Georgie tek – no wonder you like them. Ohio State plays no one, not eligible for BCS Rankings, beat no one, cannot play in bowl game, why rank # 5 ?
6. Oklahoma – you spelled that wrongly Choklahoma. 2 LOSSES already with more to come.
7. Fla St – LOST to 3-Loss NC State who lost to vols and to North Carolina among others
8. Clemson – LOST to Florida State already but you rank only 1 worse than FSU, huh ? More losses coming 2012 for Clempsum Farmers who hired away your AD
9. Stanford – 2 LOSSES already including they LOST to 4-4 Washington. Where is Washington ranked ?
10. LSU – 1 Loss FL. Beat # 8 South Carolina where do you have South Carolina ranked ? Also LSU beat Texas A & M whom Louisiana Tech LOST to – so where you have Texas A & M ranked ?
11. USC -2 LOSSES & counting LOST to Arizona who has 3 losses, beat no one
12. Louisiana Tech – LOST to Texas A & M whom Florida BEAT, beat no one plays no one
13. West Virginia – 2 LOSSES, beat no one
14. Florida – 1 Loss, beat # 8 South Carolina and # 5 LSU
Worst poll I have looked at, GTBoob – That all you got ? I am a worse man now that before I saw this post. Give me back my 5 minutes I cannot ever get back.
Thomas Brown
November 2nd, 2012
1:56 pm
DawgDad, “I’m starting to wonder if Alabama could LOSE the SEC Championship and still play for the National Championship”
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Sure they could DawgDad. LSU is # 5 with a win over Texas A and M and then with a Win over # 1 Alabama too. Texas A and M has a win over Washington who beat Stanford GTBoob thinks is so great. LSU also has a win over # 8 South Carolina.
So, the answer is how far down would Alabama # 1 drop to losing to # 5 LSU. # 3 is my answer. Last year, it was # 2. Think they drop one more to # 3 this time. And, where would LSU go to this season, since last season they beat AL, if they beat AL again tomorrow ? I would guess # 2, not # 1, from # 5.
Step 1 : AL lost to LSU, AL # 3, LSU # 2
Step 2 : UGA beats # 2 LSU, UGA goes up to # 3 I say, LSU down to 4, AL to # 2
Anyway you figure it, SEC gets a team in BCS NC Title Game, NO MATTER WHAT
GTBob
November 2nd, 2012
3:31 pm
Worst poll I have looked at, GTBoob – That all you got ? I am a worse man now that before I saw this post. Give me back my 5 minutes I cannot ever get back.
Mission accomplished then.
aprilglaspie
November 2nd, 2012
4:11 pm
Gutdom, Jeff Schultz is an idiot and a wast of space. And he’s homely as sin’s homely sister. And GTBob, and then you get hideous losses in the ACC, because you can’t play.
Tech Engineer
November 2nd, 2012
4:31 pm
Georgia will earn the East title by having the best record. I would like to see them beat Bama in Atlanta, as that would cause havoc in Ala-dam-bama and the BCS. As for Tech, Radakovitch brought us down, and we will suffer for a while. I didn’t purchase tickets for Athens.It will not be fun for us nerds.
pb
November 2nd, 2012
4:31 pm
Thomas Brown, and GT Bob,
Buddies for life ! What would they do if they couldn’t pick on each other on here ! But it is free entertainment, must say.
Thomas Brown
November 2nd, 2012
4:55 pm
239 hours
sigh on the next point with you but yeah
summa cum laude MBA at Terry, think that was it – totally awesome job by you
it is Top 5 % of Graduating Class your Senior year not MBA, so think that is it
either way, way to go !
I was in the building. They don’t let anyone walk on the floor boards since they were installed in 1732; but we were allowed on the floors.
Quite the Honor.
Ok so UGA for President doesn’t want to believe that The SEC gets Slot 1 or Slot 2 and the other teams nationally are shooting for – between them mind you – only one slot.
That’s fine.
Keep on plugging
Read them and weep – no matter whom it is who wins tomorrow night, SEC gets a slot.
If LSU wins, they BUMP up from # 5 to # 2.
If AL wins, then are # 1; if they lose, they drop to # 3 – unlike last year dropping to # 2 – although I thought AL was the better team in game 1 and said so, and they proved it shutting out LSU in game 2.
If UGA plays # 1 AL, we can go to # 3 I think from # 4 – have to see if I am correct about Kansas State losing. LSU would have dropped from # 5 down to like # 7 with a loss to AL moving us up from # 5 to # 4 whether Kansas State loses as I guarantee or not.
If UGA plays # 2 LSU rather than # 1 AL, and we lose to # 2, we drop from # 5 to # 7 – worse than FL who has 2 great wins over South Carolina currently # 8 and over LSU currently # 5 moving FL up to # 6 or higher – not really concerned with FL; we beat them.
If UGA plays #2 LSU rather than # 1 AL and we win, well…
this really is the question, as I see it. Right now thinking # 3 for us. Have to see if I am right that no BUMP is given to Oregon playing no top-ranked BCS Teams since Stanford and Southern California both have 2-losses and we all know Southern California is the representative in the only other relevant conference championship game, however relevant that one is too. I just see no BUMP Oregon beating Southern California game # 1 or # 2.
Facts are The SEC no matter what has a team in the BCS Title Game.
I’ll remember all this.
Will you with your BS ?
UGA is in the national championship discussion.
Kansas State loses.
Oregon plays no one.
Notre Dame plays no one.
Predicting November 2 that Notre Dame gets 1 slot and The SEC gets 1 slot.
That is no matter whom it is who wins tomorrow night.
UGA for PRESIDENT
it is what it is
November 2nd, 2012
8:50 pm
SMELLY AND INCOMPETENT, YEP THAT DESCRIBES THE DOG EXCREMENTS PERFECTLY
JEFF, YOU MISSED AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHOWCASE JONATHAN DWYER IN THE THROWBACK STEELERS UNIFORM..DWYER HAS RAN FOR OVER A 100 YARDS IN BACK TO BACK GAMES
Neutral
November 2nd, 2012
9:40 pm
I hate to say it but I’m pulling for Southern Cal to play like the #1 ranked team they started the year with!!! They play Oregon and ND at home. That egg suckin coach at the “real” USC could prove to be a DAWG’s best friend!
Neutral
November 2nd, 2012
9:45 pm
TB…….I’m happy to see you rocking and rolling with the Dawgs and thinking positive. P.S. you are wearing poor GT Boob out!
Thomas Brown
November 3rd, 2012
12:04 am
Neutral, it’s not going to matter now what Southern California does, ranked # 17 as they are. They could beat Notre Dame or not, and they could beat Oregon in regular season or not, or they could beat Oregon in PAC-12 Championship Game or not – it matters not : Notre Dame gets NO BUMP, and Oregon gets NO BUMP by beating Southern California at the end of the season now, no matter what – while LSU stands a big BUMP up to # 2 tonight if they beat # 1 Alabama. And, of course, now that we’ve beat undefeated Florida with their wins over # 8 South Carolina and # 5 LSU, and got our BUMP up from # 10 to # 6 where we are today, if we beat # 1 Alabama or # 2 LSU, we will get a BUMP up from our # 5. I also think Kansas State takes a loss. Beating SEC West is our only priority.
Dawg Tired
November 3rd, 2012
9:56 am
Funny.
Tarryuga
November 4th, 2012
8:14 am
This goes out to the lard ass at Lowe’s that said to me “They gonna lay an egg today!”…SUCK ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GO DAWGS!!!! SIC’EM!!!!
Stevie Ray
November 4th, 2012
10:23 am
DEBBIEDORIGHT
Yeah, when you start name calling, the debate is concede…this time to me:-)
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/2008/05/bill-clinton-got-historically.php
Since you won’t like the first..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_presidential_election,_1992