Predictions: Smelly, incompetent, soft Bullldogs win again
According to legend, and also Wikipedia, my two favorite sources when I have other things to do, the expression, “Eureka!” dates to the Greek scholar Archimedes, who noticed that when he stepped into a bathtub the water level rose and he exclaimed, “Eureka!” because, I dunno, “Wow,” just didn’t sound scholarly. Archimedes then continued this research into volume by seeing what would happen if he sat in a hot tub with five co-eds from Palermo State, but that didn’t work out so good, he lost his grant and now can be found teaching sociology at junior college in Poughkeepsie.
So last week, Georgia punched Florida in the mouth, and I’m certain I heard Mark Richt exclaim, “Eureka! No more Mr. Nice Guy!” See, because I’m sure the Bulldogs played tough because they were angry at being called “soft” by teammate Shawn Williams.
So coddling days are over. This week Richt called in appropriate inspirational speakers to address his players:
"Bring me the broomstick of Nick Saban!"
Oz: “You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of collagenous junk!”
Lucky Day (Three Amigos): “You sons of a Motherless Goat.”
Alexandra (Witches of Eastwick): “You’re physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell.”
Groucho Marx: “Now there’s a man with an open mind. You can feel the breeze from here.”
Nino (New Jack City): “Sit your $5 (butt) down before I make change.”
Principal (Billy Madison): “At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul.”
Cyril Bench (Vertical Limit): “100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?”
French Soldier (Monty Python and the Holy Grail): “I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.”
There. That should do it.
The SEC East title gets a little closer. Georgia covers 14 against Mississippi.
Sack Schultz video update (with special guest Steve Spurrier)
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This never gets old
Getting some requests for this also, so …
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SCHOOL DAZE
An SEC first: a shirt to commemorate win over Kentucky.
Georgia Tech at Maryland: Last man out, don’t forget to turn out the light. Dan Radakovich left two days after the Jackets couldn’t score an offensive touchdown against BYU. Coincidence? OK, maybe. But if they can’t beat a Maryland team down to its No. 5 quarterback (a converted linebacker), Paul Johnson may be sitting alone in the dark. Jackets cover 7½.
Old Dominion at Georgia State: The Panthers kicked off a player, Isaiah Howard, who had ripped athletic director Cheryl Levick on Twitter. Fortunately, Howard already had an offer from Mensa. Old Dominion by two touchdowns.
Alabama at LSU: Alabama has won eight games by an average score of 41-8. A.J. McCarron: 18 TDs, 0 interceptions. So oddsmaker R.J. Bell of Pregame.com decided to set odds on how the
Gene Chizik (after the A&M game).
Tide would do against the worst NFL team. Pointspread: Jacksonville would be favored by 24. Question: Has he seen Mike Mularkey call plays? Bama covers 9½.
Missouri at Florida: Missouri commemorated its first SEC win like it was a moon landing. The T-shirt reads, “Oct. 27, 2012, Columbia, Mo: Caged the Cats!” Would’ve gone over better if it wasn’t Kentucky. Mizzou took so much flak that the shirt is off the market. But Kentucky is selling shirts that read, “Somebody made a shirt about us.” Gators cover 17.
Texas A&M at Mississippi State: Texas A&M didn’t make a T-shirt to commemorate its 63-21 win over Auburn last week. But I think somebody came home with Gene Chizik’s shorts. Aggies cover 6½.
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MAPQUESTING BOURBON ST.
Turns out Tony Romo has been using the wrong arm.
America’s Meltdown at Falcons: The Falcons (7-0) probably aren’t a threat to the ‘72 Dolphins. Tony Romo (13 interceptions) probably isn’t a threat to George Blanda (season-record 42). But I’m starting to wonder about both. Dallas has one win in the last four and that came over Carolina, which doesn’t really count. Make that 8-0: Falcons cover 4.
Eagles at Saints: Suspended linebacker Jonathan Vilma and assistant coach Joe Vitt returned to the Saints last week and the team lost 34-14 to Denver. This is what it looked like when Custer rallied his troops. Take the 3 — and Eagles in a straight upset.
Broncos at Bengals: Points to ex-Techie Demaryius
Bey Bey picks Roger Goodell's least favorite costume.
Thomas, who dressed as an NFL replacement official on Halloween. Wonder if Roger Goodell dressed up as a visionary? Denver covers 3½.
Steelers at Giants: This game is expected to go on despite the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. Steelers fans are upset because Troy Polamalu is out again. Somehow, I don’t sense the same level of compassion. New York covers 3½.
Panthers at Redskins: DeAngelo Hall last week went cuckoo on a referee, got hit with two unsportsmanlike-conduct penalties, was ejected from the game and generally looked like the same overrated, petulant phoney we’ve come to mock. But hey, for $55 million, he puts on a show! Skins win, but take Carolina and 3½.
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D-Hall continuing to make friends
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TIME TO SETTLE UP
“There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: Go there with a large one.” — Jack Yelton
Last week: 8-4 straight up, 8-4 against the line.
Where’s my commission? 79-23 straight up, 59-41-2 against the line.
Lilly Pick of the Week: The pup did something I didn’t last week: She picked Georgia. Evened her record at 4-4. This week, it was Alabama or LSU. Winner of the Cookie Chase: Alabama.
Lilly seemed to have some second thoughts while eating the Alabama cookie.
By Jeff Schultz
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227 comments Add your comment
FAN
November 1st, 2012
12:31 pm
Hey bob, how bad do you think UGA is going to beat GT this year? I’ll predict 45-10. Ok now lets hear your sarcastic response.
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
12:31 pm
Me and Beano Cook’ed were seperated at birth.
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
12:32 pm
Wow my skirt is tight today. I wonder if it makes me look fat?
trueblueeagle
November 1st, 2012
12:34 pm
UGA will until they play Bama ..another blow out for the tide in SEC Chump game.
Beano Cook'ed
November 1st, 2012
12:37 pm
Kudos, GT Bob.
Rankings are about $$$ ….. higher rankings mean Super Bowl-like advertising $. There are way too many teams to have a true playoff so they might as well continue exploit the youth, and do what makes them the most $.
College Gameday …. run by The Home Depot (and ESPN). How much $ does HD pay for this weekly commercial? ESPN (financially tied to the SEC) … go look at all the Gameday stops so far in 2012 and see how many SEC teams and/or campuses are involved.
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
12:37 pm
Hey bob, how bad do you think UGA is going to beat GT this year? I’ll predict 45-10. Ok now lets hear your sarcastic response.
Ill say 69-17.
Dawglt
November 1st, 2012
12:42 pm
WE MISS LILLY, WE MISS LILLY !!
Alphare
November 1st, 2012
12:43 pm
Did Lily predict the Tech loss last week?
Brian
November 1st, 2012
12:45 pm
why has no one pointed out that Alabama’s SEC schedule is the weakest of the SEC top teams. UGA plays SC and Fl. Fl gets LSU, UGA and SC. SC has LSU, UGA and Fl and LSU played Fl and SC, Alabama missed Fl, SC and UGA this year, I am not saying anyone of those teams are better or would win vs Bama but you know Florida was beat up after having LSU and SC before playing UGA. Bama will not have a stretch like that. The two weeks of MISS St and LSU is the closest thing to it.
Beano Cook'ed
November 1st, 2012
12:45 pm
I got the Ha’pper down under, so I’ll be able to watch my Fighting Irish of NOtre Dame in the NC game.
Meatloaf! … and some beers!!
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
12:52 pm
Beano Cook’ed, I hear what you are saying and its entirely accurate, I just wonder how ESPN will approach things in the future. On one hand, they are about to sign a new contract with the SEC which will probably be a huge investment that they will want to protect. On the other hand, if they continue with their approach that the SEC is the only conference that matters and they continue to influence rankings with that approach then they run the risk of creating strong fan apathy in general and hurting college football going forward. I doubt they are thinking that far ahead though.
Hankie Aron
November 1st, 2012
12:53 pm
GtBob- If those SEC Top 10 teams don’t deserve that coveted ranking, who praytell deserves it? Who is better than those SEC Top 10 teams? You should answer this question because you have done so much analysis right? Tell us neanderthals who is better.
Beano Cook'ed
November 1st, 2012
12:53 pm
B/c it simply isn’t true, Brian.
UGA played SC & UF … and that’s all.
Bama just beat a zero loss Miss St like a red-headed stepchild.
They have LSU this week, then Texas A&M.
After this Sat. the Tide & UGA will have 3 common opponents: Ole Miss, UT, and Missouri.
Bama beat them as follows:
Ole Miss … 33-14
Mizzou … 42-10
Vols …. 44-13
Hankie Aron
November 1st, 2012
12:55 pm
I’ve read a lot of your posts on here and rarely comment but you are masochistic about GT also. Down in the dumps 24/7 about GT, yet you keep coming back.
A Waste of Keystrokes
November 1st, 2012
12:56 pm
I hate to point out the obvious, but engaging with GT Bob is simply a waste of time. All he does is make statements that are designed to enrage UGA fans. He has nothing to add to any discussion. He is St. Simons with unlimited time on his hands. He can’t be reasoned with. I see most responses to him fall into three categories: attempts to correct him, attempts to insult him or his team, and attempts to reason with him. Attempts to correct him are useless because he doesn’t care if he is right or wrong. Attempts to insult him and his team are useless because he has already stated that his football team is awful. And finally, attempts to reason with him are useless because he does not care about reason. I have seen him singlehandedly hijack blog after blog with his comments. He will continue to do this until everyone learns that responding to him is a complete waste of time.
Hankie Aron
November 1st, 2012
12:57 pm
Beano- Granted the TIde beat Miss. State soundly but check Miss State’s schedule before they played Alabama. It was much softer than UGA’s
Skeptic
November 1st, 2012
12:59 pm
I’m tired of talking about football. It’s November; where is the deer hunting blog?
THE Dixie Redcoat Band
November 1st, 2012
1:02 pm
Actually, it’s possible that UGA will run a table including taking care of Bama in ATL.
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
1:03 pm
We have the best looking coach!
Hankie Aron
November 1st, 2012
1:05 pm
A Waste- Now that’s good analysis, thanks for the info.
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
1:07 pm
Down in the dumps 24/7 about GT, yet you keep coming back.
I am a realist. Things are really bad right now for GT and more than likely will get worse as time goes on. Im not afraid to admit that when discussing GT. That being said, im never going to stop being a GT fan, so if the ship is going down, im going down with it.
Alex
November 1st, 2012
1:10 pm
“Ok, a simple ‘wrong’ would have done just fine…”
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
1:11 pm
All he does is make statements that are designed to enrage UGA fans. He has nothing to add to any discussion.
The first part is fairly accurate, but not the second part. I think I do add plenty to discussions. Lets say I have been wrong about everything I have ever said. I still generated lots of discussion that otherwise would not have happened.
Leonard Pinth Garnell
November 1st, 2012
1:18 pm
Jeff:
Just re-watched the underrated Disney classic “That Darn Cat” with Dean Jones (phenomenal actor) and Hayley Mills.
If you liked “The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes”, definitely check it out.
TheBabe
November 1st, 2012
1:23 pm
I’m a Dawg fan and actually like GTBob. Good posts much of the time, provocative, occasionally even thoughtful, and he’s fun because so many others grab his bait and run with it.
doug dawg
November 1st, 2012
1:23 pm
yean, hankie. it is much more a sport to murder innocent animals with a rifle than to beat an opponent on the field in fair combat. you disgusting person, you are no ’sport’ man at all.
doug dawg
November 1st, 2012
1:25 pm
your victory, to live your life through, is obviously the head of an innocent doe above your fireplace.
JB
November 1st, 2012
1:26 pm
Pat Dye calls in the “Fan” this afternoon and say’s Georgia is not man enough to beat Ole Miss. Dawgs fume, win 31-21
UGABob
November 1st, 2012
1:27 pm
GtBob is my brother.
Thomas Brown
November 1st, 2012
1:29 pm
I see that you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public; but, why don’t you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal, instead ?
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
1:34 pm
GtBob is my brother.
It would have been funnier if you said little brother.
JB
November 1st, 2012
1:40 pm
Hey Bob, what’s the chances of beating Maryland this weekend? Serious.
FAN
November 1st, 2012
1:40 pm
Would just like to point out that Sports Illusstrated has come out with a top 25 list of teams with kids that have criminal records. Everyone loves talking trash when a UGA player gets arrested but the funny thing is, UGA isn’t on the list. Tech, Fla, Bama, LSU, and FSU are on the list. So to all the UGA haters, a BIG GFY is in order especially you GTbob.
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
1:41 pm
Beano- Granted the TIde beat Miss. State soundly but check Miss State’s schedule before they played Alabama. It was much softer than UGA’s
Its not just who Alabama is beating right now. Its how they are winning. There are no close calls, they are not struggling, they are just blowing teams out without much effort. They have the best defense in the country and a decent offense. Nobody in the SEC will come close to them.
FAN
November 1st, 2012
1:43 pm
oops typo, don’t shoot me for two s’s
JB
November 1st, 2012
1:43 pm
Tech on the list no doubt. They live on probation and have criminals all in those programs over there. Good call fan
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
1:45 pm
Hey Bob, what’s the chances of beating Maryland this weekend? Serious.
I would say an 80 percent chance. We are bad, but I would be shocked if we were so bad that a team that lost to Boston College last week and is using their 5th string QB could beat us.
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
1:47 pm
So to all the UGA haters, a BIG GFY is in order especially you GTbob.
Care to give a link to this magical report? Who are the GT kids with the criminal records?
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
1:48 pm
I secretly wear UGA pajamas at night
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
1:49 pm
Last night was so great, I went to a frat party as Marilin Monroe. I was gorgeous
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
1:50 pm
I hate the SEC and I hate football now that my beloved bees are playing so lousy. I’m thinking of having a sex change operation next month. My new handle will be GTBobbette
Bulldogs for Muschamp Lifetime Contract
November 1st, 2012
1:53 pm
beano
And did you not watch how SC imploded when they turned the ball over repeatedly against florida?
blue
November 1st, 2012
2:00 pm
Demaryius Thomas class? The same guy that threw stones at his former QB after he was traded? Yeah…whether TRUE or not about Tebow missing him when he was open…it is not CLASSY to say it in a press conference after the guy is gone.
PGAWife
November 1st, 2012
2:02 pm
Ahhhhhh, do you hear that? No “Choke” online. Beautiful……
Skeptic
November 1st, 2012
2:08 pm
PGAWife…..hmmmm. Mrs. Watson?
blue
November 1st, 2012
2:08 pm
GT Bob and other SEC haters; I am a Big 10 guy (Michigan fan) and a realist. I hate the SEC too…but am man enough to admit that the best team in the SEC for the last seven years was better than anyone else’s…and in some years, their top 2 teams were better. I don’t buy into the idiots that say “if such and such team was in the SEC, they would get one win a year” or “if Florida was in the Big 10, they would win it every year”. But at the end of the day, results are results and you just look like an idiot arguing where the best team is. “In order to be the champ, you have to beat the champ”. And I will root for SOMEONE/ANYONE to beat the SEC in the NCG.
GTBob
November 1st, 2012
2:16 pm
So to all the UGA haters, a BIG GFY is in order especially you GTbob.
You know those crimes were petty and we are the best institution in the country.
BobbyDawg
November 1st, 2012
2:18 pm
So, Fl self imploded with turn overs? I’ve got news for you. Fl. DID NOT self implode they were imploded by one of the roughest, toughest NCAA football defenses I’ve ever seen and if the defense will play that way against BAMA the Dawgs will have a real good chance to bring home ANOTHER SEC TITLE. Go Bulldogs
kingdaddy
November 1st, 2012
2:19 pm
Jeff
I think Lilly needs a new agent. Dont be jealous of her…
1776
November 1st, 2012
2:20 pm
It’d be nice to see the Dawgs lay tha everlovin’ schmackola down on the “New Miss Conformists”…just for their betrayal of their tradition, alumni and fans (via “ridding” themselves of Colonel Reb).