Predictions: Sorry, Doggies — Gators look too good

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Before getting to this week’s big game — Florida vs. The Indecipherable Dogs of Athens — a world news update: Police in northern England tasered a 61-year-old blind man the other day after — and I’m not making this up — they mistook his white cane for a Samurai sword. Fortunately, the man, Colin Farmer, seems OK after being hit with 50,000 volts of electricity and handcuffed by England’s finest nincompoops, although he may own half the United Kingdom and be knighted before the next attorney knocks on his door.

The po-po chief, Stuart Williams, said, “It became apparent that this man was not the person we were looking for, and officers attended to him straight away. Lancashire Constabulary deeply regrets what has happened.” And then he excused himself for his new job — walking behind elephants.

He said police were responding to reports of a man walking around with a sword. Of course. So their intentions were honorable.

At least Shawn Williams didn't call his teammates "Pop Tarts." But it was close.

Shawn Williams didn't call teammates "Pop Tarts." But he came close.

Hey, Shawn Williams can relate. When he called Georgia’s defense “soft” the other day, half of the team’s Budweiser-infused fan base probably agreed with him. At least Williams didn’t taser anybody. But mandating lineup changes usually gets you duct-taped to the goal post.

This is the Georgia team that’s going to pull together and beat Florida?

Let’s look at this. The defense has played well in one full game this season — Vanderbilt, and Vanderbilt almost never counts. Special teams are a mess. The offense line: feh. After losing to South Carolina and getting a week off to hit the reset button and then work themselves into frenzy for Kentucky, they barely won.

Over Kentucky. Which lost to Arkansas. The week before. 49-7.

Now you factor in that the Gators are pretty good and getting better every week. They’ve actually beaten ranked teams. Georgia’s record against ranked opponents since 2009: 3-11 (two wins over Georgia Tech, one over Cam-less Auburn last year).

Not saying the Dogs can’t do it. Just saying they won’t do it. Tired of waiting. Tired of assuming. Only because of Aaron Murray do I declare: Take the 6½ points.

But the scoreboard says: Gators.

How is Mississippi State like Universal studios? Click “play”. . .

HIGHER LEARNING

Maybe John Travolta and Brooke Shields could help draw fans to Georgia Tech.

Maybe John Travolta and Brooke Shields could help draw fans to Georgia Tech.

BYU at Georgia Tech: Welcome to Football Anonymous. The Jackets not only are playing home games before 20,000 empty seats, but they just returned more tickets from their 8,000-seat allotment for the Georgia game (1,900) than Georgia Southern did (1,400). Maybe instead of firing Al Groh, Paul Johnson should’ve just put him in a dunk tank in the concession area for marketing purposes. Jackets cover 2½.

Mississippi State at Alabama: Mississippi State has wins over all Seven Dwarfs: Jackson State, Auburn, Troy, South Alabama, Kentucky, Tennessee, Middle Tennessee State. Wait, did I forget Sneezy? Well, here’s their three-part reality check: Alabama, Texas A&M and LSU in the next three weeks. Bammy covers 24.

Tennessee at Pompeii: Steve Spurrier talked smack at 6-0. Now he’s spitting out teeth. Set your watches, because after South Carolina beats up on Tennessee, Arkansas and Wofford, the “The schedule-makers are out to get us” whines are going to kick into overdrive. Roosters cover 14.

Faux Jessica Dorrell and Bobby Petrino.

Faux Jessica Dorrell and Bobby Petrino.

Kentucky at Missouri: Missouri’s director of video operations used his athletic department credit card to charge a $7,600 bill at a Las Vegas strip club. I don’t know what the big deal is. The Tigers are 0-4 in the SEC. They clearly need athletes. The Boom Boom Lounge covers 13½.

Ole Miss at Arkansas: Bobby Petrino is back, sorta. He’s the  most popular Halloween costume in Arkansas. Post-motorcycle faceplant, of course, complete with neck brace, bloody face and several souls falling out of his back pocket. On a related note, John L. Smith is dressing up as a coach. Piggies win, but take Ole Miss and 5½.

Duke at Florida State: Duke is bowl-eligible before Oklahoma, Stanford, West Virginia, Texas A&M, Michigan and Texas. David Cutcliffe should push for his raise now because he might lose the next four (FSU, Clemson, Georgia Tech, Miami). Seminoles cover 27½.

Missouri video guy goes on a recruiting trip

ROGER GOODELL AND LESS-IMPORTANT PEOPLE

No wonder he fumbles. Fat fingers.

No wonder he fumbles. Fat fingers.

Falcons at Eagles: Michael Vick has 28 interceptions, 30 fumbles and 74 sacks since 2010. In his only start against the Falcons last year, he had an interception and three fumbles (two lost) and left with a concussion. At some point, Ripley’s hopes to have a display of Vick’s thumbs, right next to the three-headed goat and the box score from Charlie Weiss’ last win. Take the 2½, but Falcons win straight up.

Saints at Broncos: The Saints have won a probation-record two straight. Back to your corner: Broncos cover 6.

Panthers at Bears: Not a huge Brian Billick fan, but I think he’s onto something with this analysis of Cam Newton: “He’s not only pouting because they’re 1-5, I think he also realizes he’s not the prettiest girl in the room anymore.”  Another blemish: Bears cover 8.

Giants at Cowboys: As the season gets longer, the Cowboys get funnier. Giants cover 1.

Dolphins at Jets: The Jets reportedly will try to trade Tim Tebow before the Oct. 30 deadline. Hey, Ohio State needs a backup. Jets cover 2.

Jets sent Tim Tebow’s highlight tape to other teams

TIME TO SETTLE UP

pokerdogs

“Luck sometimes visits a fool, but it never sits down with him.” — Proverb

Last week (kiss the king): 12-0 straight up, 8-4 against the line.

So far, so awesome: 71-19 straight up, 51-37-2 against the line.

Lilly Pick of the Week: After being furloughed for a week, the puppy returns with a 3-4 record. Her weekly cookie choice: Dogs vs. Gators. She couldn’t go against her species: Georgia.

She looked to me for guidance.

She looked to me for guidance.

Then she made her own choice.

Then she made her own choice.

274 comments Add your comment

CAROL

October 25th, 2012
1:46 pm

CAROL

October 25th, 2012
1:47 pm

so a chick is first ~~

Matt "CHOKE" Ryan

October 25th, 2012
1:48 pm

6-0 vs 3-3 and is an under dog.

That’s just sad……….

HA HA :)

Jeff Schultz

October 25th, 2012
1:58 pm

Hey, Matt “Choke” Ryan. Did you get yourself one of those Vick dolls above? I’m sure all of your pals on the blog would chip in.

StingerSplash

October 25th, 2012
1:59 pm

Is Lilly picking an outright winner or just who is going to cover the spread? (Unless, of course, you let her jump up on the bed, in which case she covers the spread. But I digress.)

DIT

October 25th, 2012
2:02 pm

UF 38 UGA 3

Not feeling it!

Matt "CHOKE" Ryan

October 25th, 2012
2:03 pm

@Jeff

I never played with dolls but maybe that explains your reporting analysis :)

But I will be having some noodles for lunch, maybe I’ll see CHOKE loading up for this weekend meltdown……….

HA HA :)

Thomas Brown

October 25th, 2012
2:05 pm

SEC teams with winning SEC records every game in row lost :

(01) 30-41 Loss Alabama 2008 # 6 with SEC Record 8-1

(02) 10-49 Loss Florida 2008 # 1 with SEC Record 8-1

(03) 13-20 Loss LSU 2009 # 17 SEC Record 5-3

(04) 17-41 Loss Florida 2009 # 3 with SEC Record 8-1

(05) 06-17 Loss South Carolina 2010 # 22 SEC Record 5-4

(06) 24-31 Loss Arky 2010 # 12 with SEC Record 6-2

(07) 31-49 Loss Auburn 2010 with SEC Record 9-0

(08) 42-45 Loss South Carolina 2011 SEC Record 6-2

(09) 10-42 Loss LSU 2011 with SEC Record 9-1

(10) 07-35 Loss South Carolina 2012 SEC Record 3-2

____________________________________________________
Lost 10 SEC Games in Row vs teams with Winning SEC Record
____________________________________________________

Average Score : 19 – 37 all 10 Lost in a Row SEC teams with winning SEC Record

Finchdawg

October 25th, 2012
2:05 pm

Schultzy,

London is not in northern England, so either change the name of the city or the part of the country to get it right. Otherwise, love your work and especially Weekend Predictions.

Thomas Brown

October 25th, 2012
2:06 pm

The picture of the Bulldog is bigger – that swayed her. She looks like a sweet dog.

Buckeye

October 25th, 2012
2:14 pm

You did remind Lilly that the Cats were last week? Ergo, of course she would go with the dogs this week.

Poor choice, Lilly, poor choice.

Lilly, May you bring home to your Master something dead and smelly!

Buckeye

October 25th, 2012
2:15 pm

Can’t wait for the 2000 post blog come Sunday. What will be trending?

FIRE WIN WITH

Buckeye

October 25th, 2012
2:17 pm

I still want to see Muschump’s head explode and his eyeballs spill out on the Ben Hill turf.

Neutral

October 25th, 2012
2:18 pm

Jeff, Sure hope you are wrong on the UGa game!!!
I disagree with your pick on the TN- SC game. The Gamecocks should be totally “flat” after the past 3 games (UGa, LSU and FL). They are also out of the SEC title game which must be very disheartening. TN’s strength is their OL, tall QB and possibly the best 2 WRs in the conference. SC matches with a strong DL, but weak secondary. If I were in Vegas I would bet on TN to beat the “line”…..and they may even win the game if SC doesn’t get 200 yards rushing. Also, TN has a fairly winnable schedule after SC and could be bowl eligible and have a winning season……if they can beat SC. This may be an interesting game and more competitive than most think.

Dawglasville

October 25th, 2012
2:19 pm

Very sad to say but I don’t think this one will be close. Dawgs go down hard.

I am encouraged by your Falcons assesment. To say we are going to lose just because we are “due” doesn’t seem like a good way to pick a game. You’ve given me something to believe in. Well, that and a new DC who has never called a game. Could be a shoot out.

warfalcon

October 25th, 2012
2:19 pm

JUST WIN BABY,LETS GO FALCONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buckeye

October 25th, 2012
2:20 pm

A friendly reminder from Urban:

TIME OUT!

TIME OUT!

TIME OUT!

Thomas Brown

October 25th, 2012
2:20 pm

We beat the vols by 7 and South Carolina beat us by 28, and you pick the vols to beat South Carolina.

j t keene

October 25th, 2012
2:25 pm

Shultzy,one thing I can say for the AJC sportswriters is that you guys must enjoy taking your shots at Vick now, because when he was here(prior to the end) all you could do was praise him, hardly ever a negative word no matter how bad he played. Guess A.Blank really had the muzzle on you as all of the knowledgeable fans knew, and I have nothing against Vick or for him, just an observation.

Neutral

October 25th, 2012
2:26 pm

Thomas,
Is the sky always falling in your world? Good Lord man…..give it a break and go back to the GT blogs where you also act like a concerned alumni. YOU ARE THE MOST NEGATIVE BLOGGER IN THE HISTORY OF BLOGGING

Sonny Clusters

October 25th, 2012
2:28 pm

That blind man was on the way to a pub in Chorley and that was the Lacashire constabulary that tased him. We was wondering if the AJC sent a blind man to cover the World Series because we haven’t seen any articles from anybody as yet. Seems like the paper in a National League city would send somebody out to cover the World Series even if they wanted to sub-contract a Clusters. Now, narrowing the paper wasn’t so bad, and letting the Winn-Dixie weekly circular folks design the layout wasn’t a deal breaker either. Letting so many journalists leave was still something that the paper could eventually overcome, but a National League city’s only paper is not covering the World Series? Who’s calling the shots these days? We are compelled to say that it would be more credible if the AJC were offering complete coverage. We was never so surprised.

xxx`

October 25th, 2012
2:28 pm

Too bad those pups couldn’t slip out of Vick’s grip as easily as the pigskin does.

WTF

October 25th, 2012
2:29 pm

Matt “CHOKE” Ryan shouldn’t it be Michael “FUMBLE” Vick

Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.

October 25th, 2012
2:29 pm

Jon “Chucky” Gruden is NOT going to the VOLS.
You have a better chance of getting Duke’s Cutcliff and Payton Manning being the OC/ Coach in waiting in 3 years after his NFL career is done than you do getting CHUCKY.

Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.

October 25th, 2012
2:30 pm

What took so long JEFF……Lilly wasn’t Hungry enough to make her pick? LOL

Neutral

October 25th, 2012
2:31 pm

Yes Thomas I did pick UT. Using your logic, why does Vegas have UGa picked to lose to FL by less than a TD……when SC beat UGa by 4 TDs and FL beat SC by 5TDs. Sounds like a 9 TD differential to me based on TB’s perverted view of the world of sports.

gdawginkalamzoo

October 25th, 2012
2:40 pm

I still stand by my agreement if the Dawgs win. I will drink that four year old (probably stale) beer in my fridge that I have been saving for that big game win from the Dawgs. I promise, win Saturday and I will drink it.

Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.

October 25th, 2012
2:44 pm

All UGa fans not going to the game are being given UGa Diploma paper(toilet paper) and Eggs to decorate the UGa players homes and cars after the game.

Put in Timeout by Ken Suguira,Filtered by Mark Bradley, Banned by Bill King, Chip Towers & only slightly loved by Jeff Schultz.

October 25th, 2012
2:46 pm

So UGa has an EDGE against Florida with PMS MURRAY at QB but Jeff isn’t picking the dWags to win? What is up with that?

dean

October 25th, 2012
2:47 pm

Sonny,

Frankly, most Braves fans don’t care what the Giants do in the WS.

JB

October 25th, 2012
2:50 pm

One of either two things happen Saturday in Jacksonville. Shawn Williams has lite a fire and Dawgs come out with foam around the mouth needing a rabie shot and give Florida all they want…..Or they have their lips poked out, have chosen sides over players and non players, and stink the place up and help Richt closer to the door just like a board game with every throw of the dice.

dale

October 25th, 2012
2:52 pm

Yeah Lilly! DGD! The first member of the media I’ve found picking Georgia.

Esquire

October 25th, 2012
2:52 pm

Just Sayin…..
October 25th, 2012
8:34 am

0-3 in the playoffs is a coach killer on winning organizations.
************************************
Winning organizations? You are talking about the Falcons or
you talking about this 0-3 in the playoffs?:

January 3, 1988
Minnesota Vikings 44, New Orleans Saints 10

January 6, 1991
Chicago Bears 16, New Orleans Saints 6

December 28, 1991
Atlanta Falcons 27, New Orleans Saints 20
at Louisiana Superdome

January 3, 1993
Philadelphia Eagles 36, New Orleans Saints 20

Oh whoops, that’s 0-4 in the playoffs. Sorry about that…!!

Esquire

October 25th, 2012
2:53 pm

dean
October 25th, 2012
2:47 pm

Frankly, most Braves fans don’t care what the Giants do in the WS.
****************************************

………………or Detroit………..!!

Jeff Schultz

October 25th, 2012
2:55 pm

StingerSpash — Lilly is a “straight up” picker. But since she’s picks Dogs, she’d bark: take the 6.5.

JB

October 25th, 2012
2:55 pm

If any of you need to thaw something out Saturday night, but it on top of your Computer with the Ga/Fla AJC blog about say 7:30. Lock the kids up

Jeff Schultz

October 25th, 2012
2:56 pm

Flinchdawg — I shall go back and check the news story. …. It’s “Chorley” which is Northern England. I’ll tweak that London reference.

dawgsux

October 25th, 2012
2:57 pm

The comments Sunday will be (if the dawgs lose) fire Richt, I am selling my tickets forever, Grantham and Bobo need to be gone etc. etc.
If the dawgs happened to luck up and win— it will be we are back, we will kick Alabama’s butt, we can win the National Championship now etc. etc………..too funny but expected

kimmer

October 25th, 2012
2:57 pm

Let’s see, Shultz has picked just two other MS State games this season. He picked the Bulldogs to lose both straight up and of course got em both WRONG!

Here’s hoping he stays perfect on the season!

JB

October 25th, 2012
2:59 pm

McGarity will be watching real close Saturday, especially after the Shawn Williams sound bit this week. Dawgs down say 21-0 in middle of second quarter, do they quit or fight? That’s what I as AD would be looking for. That tells you where the whole football program is.

Matt "CHOKE" Ryan

October 25th, 2012
2:59 pm

WTF

October 25th, 2012
2:29 pm
Matt “CHOKE” Ryan shouldn’t it be Michael “FUMBLE” Vick

__________________________________________

He could fumble 1,000 times and still have what CHOKE will never have………..

Playoff wins…………….

0-3 baby…………

HA HA :)

JB

October 25th, 2012
3:00 pm

Jeff, whose live on line from there Saturday, you or Mark?

Jeff Schultz

October 25th, 2012
3:00 pm

J.T. Keene — “There’s an old saying: Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” Because clearly you have no sense of history for what I wrote about Michael Vick at BOTH ends of the spectrum, from the beginning of his career here to the end.

Jeff Schultz

October 25th, 2012
3:01 pm

Sonny Clusters — Our Chorley correspondent was supposed to staff the World Series for us but took his advance and ran off. You want the job?

On a related note: I don’t make those decisions. Please don’t hold it against me.

dean

October 25th, 2012
3:07 pm

Esquire….

Or Detroit. (I have a particular aversion to SF.)

However, I have always liked Jim Leyland. I ALMOST felt sorry for him after the ‘92 NLCS game 7.

dale

October 25th, 2012
3:10 pm

Jeff, please ban all posters who use a smiley face

DIT

October 25th, 2012
3:13 pm

“Jeff, please ban all posters who use a smiley face”
______________
No Fooling!

Dawglasville

October 25th, 2012
3:14 pm

Choke – so Dilfer is a better quarterback than Vick?

Buckeye – did you fail to get in at UGA? Did you fail out of UGA? Did Richt not recruit you? What is your story?

Red Stick

October 25th, 2012
3:15 pm

Florida 24 Georgia 13
Bama 34 Ms State 7
BYU 30 Tech 24
SC 33 UT 17
Ark 37 Ole Miss 33

Geaux Tigers

Gator CHOMP Champ

October 25th, 2012
3:15 pm

Gators win by five TDs. GA’s D couldn’t stop Kentucky (literally). With all those NFLers on D, is it too late to get Willie Martinez back?